Mean Boys - EP 14 - Boom Boom Pineapple (feat. Tom Goss)

Episode Date: March 30, 2016

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, “Which of the Following”, “The Explanatory Leprachaun” and “The Tao of Tom”. Our sponsors are “Ned’s Nursery”, “Gunderson Industries” and “The Slappinsly Technique”. Follow guest host Tom Goss on Twitter (http://twitter.com/gossgoss6) and listen to his podcast Talking Wrong (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/talking-wrong-tom-goss/id1050562629?mt=2) Follow the show on Twitter http://twitter.com/meanboyspodcast / @meanboyspodcast and email us at [e-mail]. Visit us on the web at http://www.meanboyspodcast.com Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-money-store/id515449028) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. Fuck everything. God is dead. Welcome to the Mean Boys podcast. I'm Pete Carey. I'm Joe Dosh.

And I'm not Connor McSpadden. Yeah, not Connor McSpadden. Did you hear that, everybody? Connor's not here. Hooray. Hooray. Connor's not here. I don't care for him.

But seriously, Con Man has gone back to the origin of his vitamin C-deprived homeland, Ireland. And filling in for him, we have the lovely Tom Goss. How are you doing today, buddy? I'm good, man. How are you guys doing? We're doing swell. Right away, you are way too cordial. You didn't say cunt at all.

Yeah, I forgot. That's the thing here. I should do that more. It is weird seeing somebody who's coming in from minute one versus the battle heart. We know the score. Turn off your heart. No, I'm nervous for today because between me and Keith, this will be the most heavy breathing on a podcast ever. It really will.

It's going to sound like a tired dog in the sun. You're going to sound like Tony Soprano in every funeral scene. Dueling Tony Soprano. We're coming to you live from inside a vat of butter. Tom is gorging himself on a plate of gabagool. I don't know. I don't know what that is, but it sounds delicious. I don't know what it is either.

It's some kind of guinea meat. I don't know. Just fucking one of those nonsense foods. Like in Wapcats or something. Yeah, they really do. Like Italians like fuss over food the way like millennials fuss over like 90s cartoons. Yeah, it's like calm down. It's all tomatoes and bullshit.

That's my least. You can't turn the Ninja Turtles into that. You can't cook the Gobble Gobble. Oh, you gotta slow cook the Pikachu. Oh. I'm writing the slow cooked Pikachu sketch. Slow cooked. That's a point.

Otherwise he gets Pikachu-y. All right. Fuck that. You guys, I think it's time for the Mexican joke off. Isotopical. Isotropical. Okay. Do you want to do it?

Tom, you're our guest. Please do the jingle. Yeah, please. Isotropical. Whoa. Do you want to do it? Tom, you're our guest. Please do the jingle. I so tropical. Whoa! Look at the guest bringing a spit on things. It's topical, you dumb dogs. Dude, it's hot out.

Oh, I get it. It's a current of... We're not up to fucking Tom's Ziggy level. No, no. What it was is I fucked up and I just went with it and I shouldn't have. Oh, no, no, no. Don't you dare try and lean away from your family. I just like to know we haven't even gotten to the first segment. I already regret our choice to have Tom.

I think he's fitting in nicely. I mean, not like his jeans. Oh, never come home, Connor. This is amazing. I've been trying to find the belt. I can't. You know, I was talking to Tom the other day, and I was thinking, like, you would have to lose, like, a life-changing amount of weight to look like Tom.

I have that realization all the time. I look at Tom, and I'm like, that's the best I could do. Exactly. And then we'd, like, I'll act like we're proud of you, but really we wouldn't be. Yeah, you're just less gross, but somehow grosser. And you can just grow up one day to be an anorexic cunt like me. Anyway, take it away with your first joke, Tom. Oh, okay.

A bird flipped to Bernie Sanders during a speech in Portland last week, proving once and for all that he is not a magical scarecrow. It begins. I don't know if I understand or care to. Yeah, that might be all of my jokes. I tried hard, but it's not going to help you guys. All right. I'll take it away.

All right. A Texas conservative group claims Disney has declared public war on Christianity. A spokesman from the company responded, ha, ha, ha, ha, praise Lucifer. He's the prince of darkness. Satanic goofy. Sacrifice your babies to the blood gods. Apple has updated the Siri app on iPhones after studies found it answered the phrase, I was raped by saying, I don't know what you mean.

The new version will respond with a more helpful, well, what were you wearing? Because ladies got hurt. I couldn't help them. Imagine Siri is the first person you talk to after that happens. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. person you talk to oh yeah okay yeah excellent contribution Tom you're up I got lost and I found it all right inventor Ricky Ma of China has created a realistic Scarlett Johansson sex doll when Scarlett was asked how do you feel about the doll? She responded, it feels good to be the first Chinese woman that wasn't thrown

in the trash can. I like it. I enjoyed it. A couch mysteriously appeared on the roof of a dilapidated apartment complex. Connor McSpadden reportedly moving up in the world. Texas surgeons are preparing to separate two conjoined sisters who were fused at the waist.

Vivid Entertainment offered the twins a million dollars to skip the surgery and film a film called Two Girls, One Cunt. Because they're attached to the whip. Hey, Tom, do a shitty job. The CIA left explosives on a special ed school bus in Virginia. This was discovered when the CIA threw bicycle helmets at a group of bank robbers and the special needs children were found wearing grenades as hats.

My helmet's extra dangerous. Oh, no. Why does it feel like a boom, boom pineapple? Pineapple. Teacher, my hair is spicy people throw my hat at nazis they go away

oh my god I got one! Don't do that! Oh, I don't feel good about myself. Hey, I was their classmate. Fuck those guys. Tom was in special ed. Well, some of them were nice,

but some of them were fucking dicks. Well, then I'm glad God cursed them. That's right. This is forever, isn't it? God had some collateral tar damage over the nice ones. Oh, God. Anyway, a Copenhagen police chief claimed, quote, raw capitalism

was to blame for the increase of prostitutes in the city. Instead, the chief suggested the villagers throw all their pussy into a pile and take according to their need. That's a Marxism joke. I don't want to defeat your boy. It's Marxism. Two first graders in Alaska were

discovered after plotting to poison a classmate. The boy claims he almost didn't survive, but thankfully, circle, circle, dot, dot, he had had his cootie shot. I get that it rhymes. You know what? Does nobody else remember circle, circle, dot, dot? No had had his cootie shot. I get that it rhymes. You know what? Does anybody else remember circle, circle, dot, dot? No, here's the thing.

Is that like a cult thing? Sounds like it. It does. It sounds like what was written on the fucking walls in Blood after the Manson murders. I'm surprised that's not on the wall here. Have you ever written circle, circle, dot, dot in Sharon Tate feces? Here's the thing. I don't remember circle, circle, dot, dot. Helter Tate feces. Here's the thing. I don't remember circle, circle, dot, dot.

Helter skelter, dot, dot. Move on. Take it away, Tom. All right. A pig with eight legs and two heads was born and was named Spider Pig. When the farmer was asked how he felt about the monstrosity, he said it was the most disfigured thing to come from a farm since the Joe Dasha sphincter. You know what's the best part about that joke?

We were so conditioned to making animal jokes about Keith that as a pure reflex, that's right, that's how we were going. I heard the word pig and then just left the room. Just my eyes glazed. Just hello, darkness. And you went to your seat. Originally, it wasn't Keith's joke. And I was like, wait, no, double misdirect.

Fucking home run gods. A central Texas mother passed out in her home drunk while a convicted sex offender tattooed her three underage children. Upon reading this article, Keith Carey's mother remarked, I can learn much from this woman. Oh, good. I'm glad we got there. I'm glad we got her. Oh, good. A United Airlines

pilot was caught moonlighting as a pimp. Authorities became suspicious when he was overheard telling a passenger, you want a flat coach? That's 50. You want the cockpit? That's 100. You want the Hey, remember when my mom was a dumb whore or whatever? Is this a Samuel L. Jackson reference? No.

Here's the problem. Any black person playing as Samuel L. Jackson to me. I never thought it's his, but I miss Connor and here's why. My jokes are not good. Joe doesn't laugh at them because they're not funny. Tom, I think, doesn't understand the words that he's been given.

Either way, they're utterly ineffective. Tom's face just turns into the spinning beach ball from when your apple doesn't work. It's funny because it's true. Alright, last round. Spinning wheels become detached and decapitate co-eds. Oh, you don't know Tom Goss' past.

Anyway. Conservatives are talking about allowing guns in Republican conventions. In other news, black people all over America have been pouring 40s on the curb in honor of Colin Powell's imminent death. Holy shit. That's actually really funny. Thank you, Keith. Tom, we don't care for that sort of humor.

Hey, man. Oh, that's right really funny. Thank you, Keith. Tom, we don't care for that sort of humor. Hey, man. Oh, that's right, you're pro-gun. And anti-black people. Oh, my God. The Colorado Senate passed a law criminalizing fake service animals. Women convicted by the law claim they were actually arrested for driving while basic. Nah. Yeah. A hundred child soldiers were captured after launching a violent attack in Somalia.

Somalian authorities say the captured soldiers are naughty, naughty boys who are going straight to prison without any supper. Without any supper. Without any supper. Well, I mean, it wasn't the most successful Mexican joke. But we lacked in humor. We made for of moral wretchedness. Yeah, the jokes were terrible. Everything in between the jokes was quite fun. It sure was. That went way better than I thought it would for me.

Yeah. I'm very, very happy. It went way better than I thought it would for you, for me, too. All right. Well, we. Low hopes again. Low hopes. Well, Mean Boys Low hopes again. Low hopes. Well, Mean Boys, we'll be back in just a moment after this word from our commercial sponsor.

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And the leprechaun. Yeah. And we're going to get to know our guest Tom Goss a little bit. He's a swell guy everyone and a very

funny comic. He sure is. And we're going to learn a little bit about him in a segment I call the Tao of Tom. Hopefully Connor will

put in some sort of whimsical racist jingle here but he probably won't. Tao's that like that Chinese Bible, right? I love this segment already. Like, everything you say is, like, you're not wrong, but you're also so wrong.

It's like chink church, right? Yeah, it's like Jesus for gooks. Well, sorry, that Irish guy got me all, oh, am I not supposed to? He doesn't know how the fourth wall works. I don't know the rules. To be fair, we always bounce up against it. We don't know. Let's ask Mark Malloy.

Just kidding. He's not coming. The Tao of Tom. Don't worry about it. Okay. The Tao of Tom. We're going to talk about Tom Goss memes. What is the Instagram handle for this?

I think it's just Tom Goss memes. So Tom is a comedian, a very funny comedian. He also is maybe the most insane person I've ever said. I've met more insane. That's disturbing. He says things that have been preserved in meme form. These are all 100% real, in no way embellished.

And what I'm going to do is I'm going to read some of these out of context. A, just to get Joe's reaction, and B, to see if Tom can explain himself because he was very drunk when most of these were written down. Outstanding. Or high. High is even worse. So again, these are all real Tom Goss quotes that he says are from his real life. Here's the first one.

Me and my grandpa fought over who was the cookie monster. He's dead now. Is he dead as a result of this? No, they just happened. They just came out of the same sentence. Oh, I see. We fought over it, and then years later, he died. Oh.

Okay, well, that's a more coherent explanation than we did before. This wasn't like your last conversation with him, was it? No, I mean, we always argued about it. Did this occur on his deathbed? No, it was happening. I don't know, because when he was dying, we still talked about it. Did this occur on his deathbed? No, it was happening. I don't know, because when he was dying, we still talked about it. I was like, I'm still like, you know, he's still lost, but it was

never like a... To you and to death. Total victory. I wasn't going to rub it in. I mean, he was, you know, he had pancreatic cancer, so it was like... C is for cancer. That's good enough for me. I believe if you die and lose an argument, that qualifies as a flawless victory,

to use Nintendo terms. Let's go to the next one. Quote, I threw a table at the sailing captain. He asked me to leave. The boat? We weren't on a boat. We were in.

He doesn't have any authority then. You're not the captain of this YMCA, fuckmates. Your jurisdiction does not extend to this Chili's. I'm the captain now. Oh, God. Okay, so I went to a boarding school in Illinois, and they had, like, two people who sailed competitively, and one of them was the captain.

He was a senior, and we were in the common room. He said a mom joke. I took this seriously back then, so I threw a table at him, and he had a, yeah, they kicked me out of school. Like a whole table? Like fucking Dr. Octopus? It was like... I was very strong in high school.

You have the same body type? Just squat. I used to work out all... That used to be my thing, because I'd just fucking work out and play ice hockey and football, and I just loved exercising. You do look very strong.

You look like farmer strong. You have strength that's practical. You know what I mean? No, thank you. If I have a bunch of hay bales I need to move, I know who I'm calling. I would love to move hay. You look like you could build a farm.

Keith would love to eat hay. You look like you could build a barn and then accidentally hug the boss's wife too tight in it. I played with it too hard, George. Thought broke the pretty one. But yeah, that sailor captain, he's kind of dick. Yeah, so.

You know, and I didn't hit him. He got what he came for? I just scared the fuck out of him. I like this. By throwing furniture at him. It was okay. In my defense, the furniture was the closest thing to me.

I didn't go out of my way to grab the table. Tom, your life is like a novel that they would ban in middle school. I love those novels. For like being too dark in the 30s. A boy called Tom. All right, next one. Quote. I can't decide which one to do.

Quote, I was calling her from a lot of pay phones. Yeah, mental hospitals have pay phones. Okay. Tom, how many times have you been institutionalized? I can't count that. I lost count. Mom out of dozies. Higher than 12, less than 16. Well, that narrows it down considerably it really does speak

a lot to the mean boys podcast that like tom is like you've been you've been like mentally you've been mentally hospitalized more than any of us and like you're the nicest human being compared to the three of us who normally yeah we should go oh we should who's sick it's not fun man oh yeah they took away my uh yeah well I'm sure you have pudding stuff in there but. I sure don't. It is now. You are generating Tom Goss memes while I'm trying to. Oh my god you are like the golden goose of goofiness.

We'll do two more. I don't know if Joe knows this about you but I do so this will be a fun one. Quote, I find a lot of clothes. Yeah. Where do you get most of your clothes Tom? I a fun one. Quote, I find a lot of clothes. Yeah. Where do you get most of your clothes, Tom? I found some clothes in some parking lots, man. A lot of people just, you know...

Like in cars or just in spaces? No, that's illegal to go to people's cars. Oh, yeah, that would be crazy. People, like, you know, they don't want their shirt anymore. They just leave it on the ground. I've never known anyone to leave a shirt in a parking lot. Or they're like going to have sex in the car. They just like leave it, you know, actually drop it or something.

Yes, sometimes the clothes fit well. Not usually the pants, usually the shirts. God, the OC just sounds like some kind of like trashy Marxist paradise. They don't accept me there. Don't put this on us. No, no, no, no, no, no. They reject me harder than anyone else. How dare they.

What do you mean you find... You just find shirts in parking lots? All right, what maybe... You've walked past more shirts than you see, okay? It's kind of like how the Native Americans... The Native Americans... When boats were sailing by the coast, before the white man came to America.

I have faith he's going to the two. Let him put it. No. Before the white man came to America, boats would sail by the coast, and Native Americans wouldn't see him, because they didn't know they'd be there. Shamans would see him, because they believed in other shit and stuff, but it was, like, several years

before some church. Tom, are you implying that you're an old church shaman? You're a shaman. You're like a regular Native American not seeing, I don't take a falcon shirt, not seeing the Mayflower

and I'm like, hey man, I can wear this boat, alright? That's the difference. God damn it. That's the difference. God damn it. That's it. We're going to the universe. I need to know what else you prepared. Okay. There's like 130 posts.

I don't give a fuck if this is the rest of the show. This is compelling. All right. Here's one quote. I throw knives. I'm not trained. I think it'd be scarier if you were. Yeah.

I tried to get training, but I asked my – Who trains you? An old ninja. I don't know. I asked my – well, he's technically my old neighbor, but I call him my godfather. If he knew anybody, because he's into, like, making knives and stuff, he's like, they're not going to let you train. Again, who's this? He's a mistake.

It's Knife Hucking Academy. Who is they, and where in fucking Lancaster or wherever do they meet? I don't even know what to tell me. Well, fuck this. He brought your case before the Council of Three. Fuck this skull and bones bullshit. You're a good-hearted boy who ought to be trained to defend. It's like you're going to throw them anyway.

You should at least know how to aim them. I mean, I don't throw them at people usually. It's usually just, you know. That usually is a pretty big red flag. I mean, I wouldn't throw them unless, you know, they were attacking me or one of my clothes or something. Or they were a sailing cat that I didn't care for. Hey, by the way, how great am I at connecting what I was talking about with the Mayflower and the Indians with my shirt? Yeah.

Great's a word. No, no, no. I'll give it up to you. I was all in on that. I totally get you. You walk by more shirts than you realize. What else do you got? Fucking Brocahannes. Alright.

Quote. I think we should put Tom on the dollar coin. This is the last one I have. Quote, I would make a terrible horse. How do you figure? Yeah. Man, I don't remember saying that. You'd both make the good, like, back end of a horse costume. You're going to be a horse with two butts.

Like a reverse cat-dog. Some awful, surreal Halloween party. We're a lumbering nightmare. It's not a push me, pull you. It's an idiot. Okay, I tried. It shits from both ends. I like life.

The Werner Herzog fucking Halloween party. Life is paying for two tails. I don't remember saying that, but I believe in it. You know, it's... I mean, I don't think I'd let people ride me. I feel like I'd be that Mustang, you know?

You'd be just the untameable that only like... Have you seen Spirited Away? No, I have not. I have. Wait, which one's a horse one? Which one's a ghost one? I don't know what the other one is, Tom. Which one are you thinking of?

Tom, you said one movie title. I'm thinking of the movie you said. But what movie is that? Is there a horse or is there a ghost in it? Tom, I don't know. I don't remember. Do you remember a ghost in it? I think there are ghosts. If you do, then it's not the horse. Was it Japanese? Yeah. Wrong one. Which one's a horse one? I know there's a lot of ghosts in it. I think there are ghosts. If you do, then it's not the horse. Was it Japanese? Yeah. Wrong one.

Which one's the horse one? I know there's a lot of movies about horses and stuff. There's a horse one where the horse is like, nah, fuck you, you ain't riding me. Are you thinking of Hidalgo? No, that's about gold. It's either spirited away or unforgiven. There's not a lot of overlap. I genuinely don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

I'll look it up when we have internet. Okay. But I'm like the spirit horse. If I were a horse. I think I'd get shot pretty quick if I was a horse. I wouldn't put up with people's shit. What the heck happened? I don't know.

You can't even steer me in this podcast. How would you steer like this? I feel like you could pull a plow. Yeah, but not for the man. Oh, my God. All right. I am playing the flag on this. We are done.

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Order now! Alright, and welcome back to the Mean Boys Podcast, everybody. We're going to wrap up today, as we always do, with a round of our favorite game, which of the following? Yeah. Okay.

So I'm up. I'm doing which of the following, and knowing that you guys are not big sports fans, I have which of the following is a fake National Hockey League player? Okay. Okay. This is past and present teams. So, all right.

Round one. Which of the following is a... Oh, no. I have who's fake. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Should I redraw it up or something?

I can just copy and paste. Are you sure? No, it's all good. Okay, fuck. Make sure you leave this in, Connor. Okay. All right, round one. How are you nervous about this?

Just nervous in general. You really just probed to the depths of your madness anyway dude i have a deep-seated love of hockey uh all right i love you all right which of the following is a fake national hockey league player all right bobby burger of the montreal canadians tony twist of the st louis blues harry dick of the chicago blackhawks or frank, Tony Twist of the St. Louis Blues, Harry Dick of the Chicago Blackhawks, or Frank McCool of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Oh, my God. Interesting.

I thought this was going to be just a bunch of Canadian nonsense. Terry Twist sounds like a John Waters character. Tony Twist. Tony Twist. Same joke. Harry, honestly, these all sound like John Waters' characters. You know, I have to say,

I had to think, again, another thing that makes me feel like a bad queer, I had to remember John Waters' name real quick. Like, what's the weird guy

with the fucking mustache who's, no films of his I've ever seen but I act like I do? You're not missing a whole lot. Yeah. I've seen a few of them. That's what I think, too.

It's just cool that he exists but I don't have to like it. I have no idea who we're talking about. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, jock. Fucking jock dick. I'm going to go with Tony Twist.

I'm going to go with... What is the first one? Howard Berger? Bobby Berger. Bobby Berger. I'm going to go with Frank McCool. The fake NHL player is Bobby Berger of the Montreal Canadiens. All right.

This is nothing, nothing. By the way, I will go over spelling if you ask. Sorry, I should have printed it up. Grab the country of origin. There will be some weird ones coming up. All right, round two. Which of the following is a fake National Hockey League player? This includes current and past players, by the way.

All right. Marion Hosa of the Chicago Blackhawks. Rob Clonkhammer of the Chicago Blackhawks. Your name should be Rob Clonkhammer. Clonkhammer, it's like some of the members of Ramstein left the band of Accretive Differences to found Clonkhammer. Fair Hooker of the Chicago Blackhawks. Oh, come on. Or Fred Sassacamoose of the Chicago Blackhawks.

Sassacamoose? Spelled S-A-S-A-K-A-M-O-O-S-E. Spelled exactly how you think it would be. Oh, my gosh. It's as if hockey is the one Caucasian sport left, so they're just burying the needle. You know, Saskakamoose. Saskakamoose.

I'm actually going to say Saskakamoose. I am, too. I am, too. So if he's real, I can be pleasantly surprised. Okay. The fake National Hockey League player is Fair Hooker of the Chicago Blackhawks. Wow. But is a real football player for the Cleveland Browns. Oh, wow.

Different mean head. Yeah. Fair Hooker. Like, Fair is such a weird fake name. Yeah, F-A-I-R Hooker. The letter Hooker. Next one. All right.

So you guys are 0-2? Yeah. Cool. All right. Round three. Which of the following is a fake National Hockey League player? A. Jordan Tutu of the National Predators. B. Bjorn Sven of the New York Rangers.

C. Rabic Bonk of the Nashville Predators. Rabbick Bonk? Or D. Pear Juice of the Detroit Red Wings. Pear Juice is spelled P-E-R space D-J-O-O-S. Pear Juice?

Oh my god. These are really hard. They really are. Rambic Bonk? Is that the one? I feel like Pear Juice is going to like some pear juice. Pear Juice is one of the drag queens from when you did this. This is like the drag queen game and the black metal musicians game all smushed into one.

I'm going to go with B. Which one was B again? Bjorn Sven. Yeah, I'm going to say Bjorn Sven. I'm going to go with Ravik Bonk. Okay. The fake National Hockey League player is Bjorn Sven of the New York Rangers. Because it was too real.

That's how I chose. Yeah, I looked up weird Eastern European names, and Bjorn and Sven were both two separate weird names. I just put them together. Did you look them up off the fucking scrawlings on your wall? Inside jokes, but worth it. That wasn't an inside joke. I was guessing.

Oh. Wait, you have a bunch of names? Never mind. Round four. Best guest ever. Yes! Okay, round four. Which of the following is a fake National Hockey League player?

A, Rico Fata of the Washington Capitals. B, Cal Clutterbuck of the Minnesota Wilds. He's also a Harry Potter professor. C. Clint Horace of the New Jersey Devils. Or D. Ryan Reeves of the St. Louis Blues, and Ryan Reeves is a black guy. In that case, I'm going to go Ryan Reeves. Ryan Reeves is a shitty comic, too,

so I'm going to say Ryan Reeves. Ryan Reeves. I'm going to go Ryan Reeves. Ryan Reeves is a shitty comic, too. So I'm going to say Ryan Reeves. I'm going to say Ryan Reeves. The fake hockey player is Clint Horace of the New Jersey Devils. Ryan, there's a Ryan Reeves of the St. Louis Blues right now. And he is black. Never mind. I was just going to get way too inside.

Clint Horace sounds like there's some statue of him. I was in Central Amendment. Clint Horace. Yeah a fucking like there's some statue of him in some central amendment yeah that was the joke that's why, yeah, Brian Reeves I really thought was a weird inside baseball joke otherwise I would have gone with Clint Horace yeah, well I put those two in the same group for a reason god damn, you're really good at this game the only person who's gotten one is

the Bosch Dosh you can maybe tie it up all right last one all real or all fake all right one merlin the magician malinowski of the hartford whalers bill quackenbush of the detroit redwings hockin lube of the calgary flames or and paris doofus of the Phoenix Coyotes. First of all, I love how you pronounced Calgary. Calgary. Calgary.

Calgary of the Detroit Red Wings. Well, I know Quackenbush is real because I've met... I've actually met another... Well, I guess I don't, but I've met other Quackenbushes is what I have to say. Yeah, I know a person named Quackenbush,

but he's not a hockey player. They're a dynasty. I'll say all real. All real? I'm have to say. Yeah, I know a person named Quackenbush, but he's not a hockey player. They're a dynasty. I'll say all real. All real? I'm going to say all real, too. They are all real. Yay! Well, that was Witch of the Falling, everyone.

I guess that about wraps up Mean Boys. It just about does. Tom, where can the people find you? Well, first of all, a big gosh golly thanks to you guys for letting me on the podcast. Fucking leave. Nice voices over. No, but really, I really appreciate you guys having me. I have a website, TomGossConway.com.

Also, I have a podcast. I don't know if your listeners will like it, but it's a lot of people telling – I certainly will. Because for real, dude, you've been a hilarious guy. No, it's a lot of people telling horrific stories last guy Jason Chen talked about you know being in sweatshops and then I basically you know try not to be a fucking idiot

what's it called man? it's called Talking Wrong with Tom Goss and upcoming shows I'm doing your thing yeah well I was going to talk about that in a second I have an album coming out that we talked about. I recorded it.

It'll be releasing on either April 29th or May 6th. We don't know. But we are doing a record release show on May 6th at the Murder Room in Echo Park. Check it out. I'll be posting on Facebook, Twitter, and I'll be selling the album maybe on the Mean Boys website as well. Oh, I hope. Yeah. Joe and Tom will both be on that show.

It should be a good time. pick that shit up cool i'm going to be at the university of santa barbara in ventura county on april 16th i don't know who else is on the show no one matters in life but me so oh one more thing we should actually we should tell the audience yeah uh on may 5th uh the mean boys are gonna be doing their first semi-live uh thing at the sketch melt yeah meltdown theater we're gonna be showing a couple video sketches on that show that's gonna 25th, the Mean Boys are going to be doing their first semi-live thing at the Sketch Melt. Yeah. Meltdown Theater. We're going to be showing a couple video sketches on that show. That's going to be awesome. You guys should come out.

Karnak may be making an appearance. They call that creating buzz. Show up, faggots! I'm actually going to write. Keith, why did you yell that at that couple outside? I actually plan on voting for Karnak because I don't think the presidency matters. It's change you can be drowned in. See all those white people got mad at me over the podcast thing.

Also, if you want to see the other memes, it's at TomGossMemes on Instagram. Oh, guys, and you do. Yeah, these are not the most ridiculous ones that I picked. They were just the ones that I could... No, I'm actually surprised you skipped over some. Go home and have yourself a fucking party, Joe. Well, hey, Tom, you were an amazing guest.

Thank you so much. I really had a lot of fun. Thank you guys so much. All right. Goodbye, everybody. Bye. Bye. Come, come, come.

I'm pretty good at talking loud, personally. This is about those Starbucks pitches, huh? This is, you know, I thought with Connor gone, all the sexual tension would be gone, but this is the most rapey podcast. It has been rape heavier than it usually is. Connor, please include that line of dialogue in the final edit. Connor, come back.

Oh, God.