Mean Boys - EP 16 - Shitty Gumbo
Episode Date: April 21, 2016Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, “Which of the Following”, “El Choco”, “Potato Gun”, and “One Of The Good One...s Man”. Our sponsor is “Now That’s What I Call Awkwardly Attempting Anal Sex”. Follow the show on Twitter @meanboyspodcast / http://twitter.com/meanboyspodcast and email us at meanboyspodcast@gmail.com. Visit us on the web at http://www.meanboyspodcast.com Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-money-store/id515449028) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast everybody, I'm Keith Carey.
I'm Joe Dosh.
And I'm...
Connor McSpadden.
Who's a cunt?
Yo!
Wow.
God damn it.
You guys can't see it, but Joe just pulled a lever and there's confetti and big booty
bitches.
I was like, I'm safe.
And then I was like, I'm not safe.
And then I was like, I'm dying.
Well, fuck.
How about a little housekeeping before we get started?
Keith's fat, Joe's gay.
I'm great.
All right.
I think that covers it.
Now that we've covered that, let's get into the Mexican joke off.
Ay, so topical.
All right, guys.
I wrote these a long time ago, and I don't remember how they go.
New information shows that two of the 9-11 hijackers were roommates with an FBI informant.
This is leading some to believe that the attacks were an inside job,
while the informant maintains that doing the dishes is everyone's job.
Today is officially Tax Freedom Day,
the day in which the United States has earned enough income to pay its income taxes.
The holiday typically falls one day after Jew Alchemy Sunday.
At 47 years old, Jennifer Aniston has been named People Magazine's Most Beautiful Woman of 2016.
In related news, Betty White has been named Hustler Magazine's Cum Slut of the Year.
Of the year.
Of the year.
Cum Slut of the year.
Selling it on swag.
I love when they present that award at the Mean Boys World Fair every year.
Cum Slut of the year, banging a nail in a promontory point.
I don't know what Any of that meant
That's a history joke
Joe you are
You crossed the precipice
Of old timiness
I know man
And it being
Quick sidebar
Before the show
Joe was just sitting
In a rocking chair
Complaining about things
And nothing has ever
Looked natural
It was like a salmon
Swimming upstream
It was like you were
Born to do this
I know man
I've gone full Dennis Miller
And I'm just not
Going to fight it anymore
You were like one
Mint julep
From just like being a fucking painting.
It was ridiculous.
North Korea has launched what they claim is an ICBM from a submarine this week.
Secretary of Homeland Security Dice Clay released a statement saying,
The last time I had an ICBM, I was up in Alaska shooting diarrhea into Kim Jong-un's mouth.
Oh!
Icy bell movement. Yeah, we all got it. You. Oh! Icy bell movement.
Yeah, we all got it.
You get it?
Icy bell movement?
I didn't get it,
but I enjoyed it as if I did.
A Canadian couple faces charges
after treating their six-year-old son's
bacterial meningitis with maple syrup.
The couple responded,
well, we gave him the syrup
and took him to Hortons
and I don't know what else to do.
An octopus named Inky has escaped from an Auckland aquarium.
New Zealand's government is preparing for the worst by instituting a curfew on their Asian schoolgirl population.
It's been a while.
ISIS has executed 250 girls for refusing to become sex slaves.
A Twitter account associated with the group tweeted,
The way we see it, either way, it's more virgins for us, lol.
And then that thing with like the dashes and the parentheses with the shrugging
guy.
And then like
hashtag something in Arabic.
Oh my god. The borough of Manhattan
celebrated its first juice crawl,
a bar hopping event with non-alcoholic health-based
juices. The city of Los Angeles asked New York
to shut its fucking face forever.
24 people in Pakistan died after eating candy
that had been accidentally mixed with pesticide.
A trial date is set to be announced
for the candy maker, Muhammad Al-Wanka.
We have so many terrorist candy things.
I know.
Why is that such a motif with our fucking creative output?
At least it's not going to happen very, very soon again in this episode.
It's our entire lives are just fleeting pleasure and people causing others harm.
We just make this shitty gumbo and we're like, yeah, send that through the fucking internet.
That'll be great.
We already named this episode.
What is it? Shitty gum great. Well, we already named this episode. What is it?
Shitty gumbo.
Oh, well, there it is.
The U.S. suicide rate among middle-aged white people
has reached a three-decade high.
Analysts blame the prescription opioid epidemic,
the financial crash of 2008,
and the diminishing popularity of New Balance sneakers.
Gotta jump in here.
I have a showdown.
Ooh.
Okay.
A new study shows that suicide rates
are at an all-time high in the U.S.
Possible explanations cited include a deepening wage gap, a rise in substance abuse, and Connor McSpadden's busy touring schedule.
That's true, guys.
I have a career.
You guys can catch me this weekend wherever I'm going to be at.
Wherever angry cholos are amassed.
I mean, Connor's joke was funnier, but Keith's had more hurt feelings.
So I just know I can't make heads or tails of this voice.
Yeah, the scales of justice are fucking...
The important thing here is that a lot of people died.
That's true.
Yeah.
We can all take solace in that.
A Missouri third grader started a lemonade stand to help pay the legal fees from his own adoption.
The boy's father remarked,
We'll see if he earns enough money for us to love him.
I love when you do your fucking middle of nowhere accent.
Because it's so good and you can tell that you're repressing it at all times.
Oh, I really am.
I'm like a southerner on TV.
I'm just speaking as Dan Rathery as possible.
All right.
I'll go again.
Let's go on the mics.
There we go.
Research shows that bedbugs are drawn to certain colors, the most attractive being black.
Still no explanation as to why these vermin are so attractive to bedbugs are drawn to certain colors, the most attractive being black. Still no explanation as to why these vermin
are so attractive to bedbugs.
Jesus.
Wow.
That was both difficult to understand
and extremely offensive.
Believe me, when I wrote it, I wasn't happy.
The perfect mean boys joke.
It's like a Trojan horse
because you have to let it so far into your brain
to understand it,
and then there's just awfulness deep inside.
I mean, it's not great. Yeah, yeah yeah it's like it's like a something anyway
wow wow we're really breaking out the big yo it's like a thing that's like a other thing
scientists was spotted alaska's first wild-born bison in over a century after confirming her
identity keith's mother was quickly tranquilized and re-tagged.
I wish you listening right now could see the vicious side-eye Keith just threw at her.
Fucking boo!
Well, after you slammed me.
Yeah, but I'm me, so it's different.
Who brought you into the world?
Your mom, all right?
What happened?
She is a fucking shitty animal in a state somewhere.
These are the facts.
This would be sadder if she supported me and listened to this show.
I was discussing with Keith how my mom is a huge fan of Mean Boys
but hates when we make fun of Keith's mother.
Really?
Yeah, that's her least favorite part by far.
I mean, so it's still a favorite part.
Don't get me wrong.
But, yeah, my mom's a big fan of the show, too.
But I think she's just, i think the cunts are the
main thing with her as you might expect i think go figure my mother once said one of my favorite
things uh in our uh in our i don't i almost said friendship but i guess really i was broing out with
my mom you look like somebody whose best friend is their mom you're not totally wrong uh is she
said uh when my son says the word she said this to wrong. She said, when my son says the word,
she said this to my first girlfriend,
she said,
when my son says the word cunt,
it feels like knives in my vagina.
Wow.
So like her cunt then.
Yeah, it's like a fucking...
Yeah, so it's like
you got stabbed in the cunt.
It's like a knife in that cunt's cunt.
Well, I don't know,
but knife in that cunt's cunt
might have to be the episode title now.
Your mother actually said the phrase knives in her vagina to you?
Yeah.
Well, that explains a great deal.
No, to your girlfriend.
Oh, my.
Well, yeah.
Were you like, was she like talking to your girlfriend at the coffee table and you were
like peering down the stairs like a child with divorce?
No, they did it right in front of me.
The point of this story is I have cool girlfriends and I have a cool mom, all right?
Stop hating.
Obviously.
An English liquor company has created an anti-aging gin infused with botanicals and collagen.
The gin is designed to be consumed by Orange County women sucking it out of their daughter's
necks.
I'm tapped.
All right.
CERN has released over 300 terabytes of data from the Large Hadron Collider online today.
Bernie Sanders is excited to finally read the transcripts between Hillary Clinton and
God.
Okay. Well. Collider online today. Bernie Sanders has decided to finally read the transcripts between Hillary Clinton and God. Okay, well...
Let it hang. Was it just
bad or was it that I stuttered? It was that
a lot of it was... I mean, nothing
about it went right. I heard Hadron Collider
and then I heard you have a stroke and then I heard Bernie Sanders.
It was like an Olympic gymnast
doing a toddler's somersault
and then still breaking her leg.
All right, Joe, end it strong.
Can I get a mulligan?
My annunciation has been so good.
Take it away.
All right, this is pretty bad.
I just read what I was going to do.
The Blue Man Group has canceled their shows in North Carolina
in a show of solidarity to the LGBT community.
A spokesperson for the band said that many of their close friends
are lavender, green, black, and turquoise.
Glory is safe.
I'll be goddamned if I got my daughter going to the bathroom with one of them purples.
Oh, and that was my father's name for me growing up.
One of them purples.
Rest in peace, Prince.
Ouch.
Someone's going gonna miss you
well that was
that was an exceptional
Mexican joke off
well played
yeah
hey
well here's now
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picture the scene the candles are lit he's put a hundred rose petals on the bed,
and you're laying in his strong arms, getting lost in his eyes.
All you want this year is him, and all he wants is you,
to finally let him put it in your butthole.
He can tell you're nervous.
He brushes the hair out of your eyes and tells you,
Baby, I love you no matter what.
Then he waits a second and
says, I'm just saying, you know, dinner was really expensive and I paid like 400 bucks for Hamilton
tickets, but hey, totally up to you if you want to say no. Your lip quivers, your mind's telling you
no, but your body's telling you, maybe I can just bite the pillow and ride this thing out. Well,
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Hey, Bradley. Bradley, I heard your mom and dad are getting a divorce.
Shut up, you guys. That's not true.
I heard they're getting a divorce because your mom's a slut.
Yeah, your mom's a slut.
She is not. You better shut up.
I heard she was going to use a potato gun to shoot a thousand dicks into her asshole.
Yeah.
Leave me alone, you jerks.
Hey, everybody. Bradley's parents are getting divorced because his mom's gonna use a potato gun to shoot a thousand dicks up her eyes.
Ah, shut up, you guys!
Hi, Bradley. How was school today?
Hey there, champ. Did you hit a home run today, son?
Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.
School was pretty crappy, actually.
Language! Sorry.
Uh, son, why don't you
come into the kitchen and sit down with Mom
and Dad so we can talk about some stuff?
Okay.
Well, kiddo, it's no secret that your mom and I haven't been getting along so well lately.
Well, we've thought about it a lot, and, well, this is just really hard to say, Slugger,
but we think it's the best thing for the family that your mom and I don't live together anymore.
But you need to know, Bradley, that even though your dad and I might not love each other anymore, that doesn't mean
we don't love you. That's right, son. Love you with all my heart. As long as I'm living,
my baby, you'll be. But I don't understand. Well, you see, Bradley, part of me will always
love your father. But I have an insatiable cock lust that no man can satisfy. And the
only way I can be happy and be a good mom to you
is by shooting a thousand dicks into my asshole with a potato gun-like device.
That's right.
What?
I don't understand.
Well, remember, when we built that potato gun at Cub Scouts,
your mom is going to use that to shoot a thousand dicks into her asshole.
And while one man can give your mother one dick a thousand times, champ,
that's just not even close to
the proper dick density and velocity over
time that your mother requires.
What are you saying? What we're saying,
Bradley, is sometimes mommies and daddies
get married without realizing that one
of them is a filthy little dick pig.
Remember the piggies at the farm from your field trip?
That's how I feel about dick, Bradley.
Just a slovenly, ravenous, hog-like dick appetite.
Yep, yep, sure do.
That I can only satisfy by shooting a thousand dicks into my asshole with a potato gun.
Yep, yep, the only way.
This is crazy. I don't want to hear any of this. This isn't true.
You see, I knew this would tear him apart.
Barbara, Barbara.
Pretty hard stuff, huh, champ?
I don't want to hear any of this,
Dad. I know, son. I know.
I tell you, when the
woman I love came to me and said she
couldn't be with me anymore because she had to
use a potato gun to shoot a thousand dicks
into her asshole, I said, Barbara,
heck, I don't have a thousand dicks
and if I did, I wouldn't know how to load
them all into a potato gun all at once and fire them into your lower colon.
You see, your mom has made a lot of sacrifices for us so we can be happy, kiddo,
and now I think it's time for us to make some sacrifices for her so she can be happy.
Mainly by firing a thousand dicks into her asshole after two burly men pulled her legs apart to get her the maximum asshole diameter.
You see, it's all about the surface area of her asshole, son.
The blast radius of this dick explosion
is going to be so enormous and
splattershot that we have to spread her rectum
to its breaking point to get as close to
that thousand as we can. Do you understand,
Bradley?
I... I think you'll understand
better when you're a little older. How about
an ice cream?
Hey, Bradley! How's your mom and about an ice cream? Hey, Bradley.
How's your mom and dad's divorce going?
Oh, yeah.
You know what?
I'm not afraid of you guys anymore.
I'm not afraid of my new life either.
Hey, everybody.
Hey, everybody.
Yeah, my parents are getting a divorce
because my mom needs to shit a thousand dicks
in her asshole with a potato gun-like device,
and I'm not afraid anymore!
Yeah!
Way to go, Bradley!
Yeah, Bradley!
You're the best!
If you know someone
whose mother's ravenous desire to cockfeast
is splitting up their family,
we can help.
The National Institute for Motherly Dick Pigs
will happily provide literature
on how to talk to your kids
about your beast-like cock lust
and how it affects your marriage.
The National Institute for Motherly Dick Pigs.
Healing the blunt force cock trauma on your asshole, Healing the blunt force cock trauma on your asshole.
Healing the blunt force cock trauma on your heart.
Gwang!
Hello, I'm superiority complex of the year winner Sean Penn.
What follows is a conversation between myself and notorious Mexican candy cartel lord Jorge
El Chaco Martinez.
It is presented for you unedited to draw what conclusions you will about the man
and his life. Thanks for
agreeing to do this. Thank you
for coming to my home.
Please take the time to enjoy yourself.
You must take a dip in
my horchata jacuzzi before you
leave, senor.
Of course, it's beautiful.
Lovely architecture. Is that adobe?
Gingerbread. Gingerbread. Is that adobe? Gingerbread.
Gingerbread, seriously.
When you live a dangerous life like I do, you must appreciate the finer things while you are still above ground to do so.
Are you eating your house?
Si, si, but the Chaka-Locas will repair it shortly.
Chocoloca, fixing the house.
Gingerbread walls keep the DEA out.
All right, well, let's talk about your latest escape from prison.
The security camera shows you leaving in the... World's largest wheelbarrow, yes, yes.
It was constructed by my Chocolocas over the first three months of my incarceration.
Right, right.
People are presuming corruption on behalf of the prison because, well, due to your size,
they needed to first remove a 15 by 10 foot wall from the side of your cell in broad daylight for you to make your escape.
Prisons, they are like any business. They need electricity, water, and most importantly to me, sugar.
You can make anyone look the other way if you've got something sweet enough to dangle in the other direction, my friend.
Chaka-laka, it's insulin time, keeping you alive to commit more crimes.
Excuse me for just one moment.
What is that baby for?
I have diabetes 5.
It requires insulin fermented in the pancreas of one of my own newborn children to keep my heart in good working order.
So, do you, like, give the baby an IV?
Viva El Chaco!
Viva El Chaco, the deed is done.
The carcass will rot in the Mexican sun.
Their carcasses have the added benefit of fertilizing my sugar cane fields.
It is my secret recipe, as you say.
These are your own children.
How do you make so many?
I'll show you.
Chaka-laka, milking the boss.
It has the consistency of caramel sauce.
Now my harem of mothers will be inseminated with the seed of El Chaco.
And what remains will be served to me on a delicious Sunday.
Here you go, boss.
Thank you.
Chaka-laka, his poop is fudge His children will never know their father's love
I can see you are surprised by my lifestyle
But what is truly sinful is how delicious this is
Please, take one bite
Um, I'm, I'm, I'm
Oh, no, no, please, please, I insist
I really don't feel comfortable.
Take a bite, Mr. Penn.
Please, I, I, I don't.
Chaka-laka, do what he says.
He drinks Ripper floats out of severed heads.
Oh, God, okay, okay.
Oh, there's going to be a misty river in your toilet tonight, Mr. Pet.
I'll tell you that.
Help, help.
Somebody help.
Minorities are being repressed and injustices rampant in the world.
Look, up in the sky.
It's a bird.
It's a plane.
It's a white, straight, male liberal.
No.
I mean, yes, it's a white, straight, male liberal, but it's not just a white straight male liberal, it's
one of the good ones, man! One of the good
ones, man? One of the good ones,
man. The white straight male liberal superhero
able to fight injustice through the pursuit
of his own self-image and interest.
It is I, townsfolk. What seems to be
the problem here? One of the good ones, man.
The foundation of America is built on racism
and economic inequality is at an all-time
high. How are you able to fly, one of the good ones, man?
Simple. One of my superpowers is the ability to sprout angel wings through the utterance of platitudes.
Behold, racism is bad!
He's glorious.
He flew away, though.
One of the good ones, man. Born with the ability to know the answer to everything.
Able to give without sacrificing.
Give me a purse, lady.
No.
My kids need diapers, bitch.
Give me your purse!
Stop right there!
One of the good ones, man.
I've never seen you in this neighborhood before.
And with his trusty sidekick, Bay Area Black Lesbian.
Bay Area Black Lesbian!
Yes, one of the good ones, man.
Get my phone ready.
It's a shame the corporatocracy has created a world
where minorities need to steal to survive.
Tweet it! You know, I do
most of the work. Maybe you're actually
the sidekick. Never!
He flew away and didn't save me.
Yeah, me neither. Alright.
Give me your purse, bitch.
Later that evening, one of the good ones, man,
finds himself captured by his arch-nemesis,
the League of Informed Conservatives. So, we meet again, one of the Good Ones' men finds himself captured by his arch-nemesis, the League of Informed Conservatives.
So, we meet again, one of the Good Ones' men.
You'll never stop me!
It's true. We've tried for many years to destroy the source of your power.
We have tried in vain to destroy your army of Chinese slaves,
which build your electronic superhero contraptions to broadcast your inspiring ideas.
I'm forming a force field around my mind to broadcast your inspiring ideas.
I'm forming a force field around my mind to block out your attack.
But we have found your kryptonite, one of the good ones, man.
Oh, yes.
The heart which grants a white stray liberal the superpower of utter moral superiority.
Your money.
No!
Can one of the good ones, man, free himself from the clutches of his enemies And save the money which enables his power
Find out next week
Same gentrified time same gentrified channel
I would have voted for McCain
In 2000
Alright everybody
Mean Boys is back with our
Favorite way to close out the show
Our only way to close out the show, our only way to close out the show, a round of Which of the Following.
Woo!
This week we have a subject that's, I think, very near and dear to all of our hearts
and our listeners' hearts.
People love when we talk about King of the Hill on the show,
and today we are going to be playing Which of the Following the following is not a real King of the Hill fan fiction?
Oh!
Number one, A, Pro Painful Memories.
B, Bobby Goes Bad.
C, Arlen Mowerthon 2006.
Or D, Joe Jack's Big Day.
Oh, my God.
This is just outstanding.
Three of these were written by real human beings that live and drive in this world.
Oh, my goodness.
I had an adventure, honey.
I can't even imagine what propane memories.
I just picture Hank holding Peggy's body on a rainy mountaintop. Like, whoa!
I think that's going to be Bobby
talking to his therapist
about Hank's,
all of his subtle abuse.
He never believed in me!
Hey, Dad!
Shut up, Bobby the Cowboys.
Your art is gay.
Dammit, Bobby,
the abyss gaze is back.
What a weird,
obscure niche
of references
we've found.
Yeah,
Nietzsche
and fucking
King of the Hill.
I'm the Ubermensch,
Bobby.
God is dead.
The Zarathustra
is spracking
all over the neighborhood.
Oh,
I really pulled
out of left field
for a Nietzsche reference.
I'm going to say Arlen Moore in 2006.
I am going to say Pro Painful Memories.
You dumb cunts.
Joe Jack's Big Day.
Everybody knows I love referencing Joe Jack.
I wanted to believe, honey.
He's my favorite obscure character.
Doesn't mean we can't write it.
Next week on the Mean Boys Podcast, number two,
A, dang old Grabby Sam.
B.
Dale Vader.
C.
John Redporn.
Or D.
The Last Temptation of Hank Part 2.
All the King's Men.
Three of these are real.
Dang old people too much for the time on the internet, man.
Dang old.
Dang old write-up fan fiction. Dang old people too much for the time of the internet, man. Dang old. Dang old writing fan fiction.
Dang old slash fic.
I want Last Temptation of Hank to be like some Last Temptation of Christ, Hank Hill crossover.
Yeah, that's true.
Oh, dad, in your hands I commend my spirit.
Well, John Redporn is real.
We can all agree on that.
I love all the kings and madmen.
I'm casting the moneylenders out.
Dang it, get out of the temple.
Oh, my God.
Kick your Roman ass.
I'm going to say Dale Vader.
I'm going to say dang old Grabby Sam because that reeks of McSpadden.
Dang old Grabby Sam, man.
The fake fan fiction is John Redford.
Oh, man.
You guys are dumb.
Number three. A, Rancho You guys are dumb. Number three,
A, Rancho Unicorno,
My Little Joseph,
B, The Return of Samurai Hank, The Strickland Saga,
D, Hardcore
Hills, or
D, The Hill With No King.
Oof.
I mean, so first of all, the unicorn
one is 100% has to be real.
Yeah, I feel like I need to read these.
I wanted to read them too, but I didn't have time when I was making these
because I think we're going to introduce that as a segment,
dramatic reading of people's shitty fan fictions.
That's something we talked about a little bit.
They say it's infantile to need closure on things,
but I need to know what these are about to move on in my life.
My favorite is just the ones
with super serious titles.
Yeah, like, they took it so...
There's a mythology.
Oh, well, yeah.
You're treating this
like it's, like,
Russian literature
or, like, an epic fantasy series.
Yeah, the idea that somebody
did multiple drafts on these,
like, sent it out
to trusted friends.
I'm gonna say...
What do you think
of Grabby Sam's development
as a character?
I'm gonna go with... I don't feel stilted, man. I'm gonna go The Hill with no king. I'm gonna go with no... I don't dang
feel stilted, man. I'm gonna go with the hill
with no king. I am gonna agree with y'all on that.
The fake king of the hill
fanfiction is Rancho Unicorno
by Little Joseph.
This is the game I was born to write, fellas.
You really are. It's like decoding the enigma.
Oh.
I accidentally put the same one on here twice,
but whatever. A, The Last Temptation of Hank Part 2, All the King one on here twice, but whatever.
A, The Last Temptation of Hank, Part 2, All the King's Men.
B, Gribble Drabble.
C, Prince of the Hill.
Or D, Boomhauer Unleashed.
Oh, God.
I hope Prince of the Hill is like a crossover with Fresh Prince.
Oh.
Got into one story, all but half. I'm scared.
Fucking Hillary just walks out of Boomhauer's house.
Drove to my auntie and uncle in McMainerberry.
I'm gonna go with
Gribble Drabble.
Because I want Boomhauer Unleashed to be real.
Yeah.
And sometimes my faith should be rewarded.
I think Boomhauer Unleashed is fake, but I want to believe.
I'm gonna say D, Boomhauer Unleashed.
The fake one is Boomhauer Unleashed. I'm so sorry want to believe. I'm going to say D, Boom Hour Unleashed. The fake one is Boom Hour Unleashed.
I'm so sorry, Joe.
Like I said, these all can be real.
That would be a good segment.
People tweet us writing prompts, and we'll each bring in what we come up with.
Oh, God.
Let's do that.
Yeah, let's do that.
King of the Hill writing prompts.
Yeah.
Maybe not King of the Hill.
Anything writing prompts.
Anything.
Tweet us some writing prompts.
And also, fucking email some questions.
We wanted to do a Dear Mean Boys for a long time.
Interact with us, you dumb cunts.
I know.
Yeah.
All you guys do is tweet, like, snarky, like, hey, blah, duh.
And with engaging content like I just provided.
I shut him up.
And we're insulting them and then asking them to do their work for us.
Hey, fuck you.
Do the show for us.
Fuck you and make my thing.
All right.
Final question.
All real or all fake?
A. Strickland goes buck wild.
B. The Chippendale story,
part one, Arlen Knights.
I hate that there's parts.
C. Megalomart after hours.
Or D. The Secret Life
of Peggy Kill.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
I always imagined
if Peggy Hill
was like a Smash Bros. character
people would spam that movie.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Bullshit.
You're camping the ledge.
By the way,
I really want to...
Dad! Dad! Dad!
That's my purse!
I don't know you!
I don't know you!
Oh my god.
Redneck! Redneck!
By the way, I really
want... I was really hoping to see Silent
King of the Hill coming. Lenore! Lenore!
Lenore! My god, this show's been
off... Oh yeah. Oh yeah. This show's been off the air for a long time.
You are deep into all the references.
Dude, it's the funniest show ever.
It really is.
I'm going to say all real.
I'm going to say all real.
Guys, these are all fake.
I hate to tell you.
Oh, you piece of shit.
I would really love to read the Chip and Dale story part one, Arlen Knights, where Dale becomes an erotic dancer.
Oh, well, fuck, guys.
I think that's the show.
That was a spirited witch of the following.
You guys, we did good work today.
We sure did.
This was a fun one.
I'm proud of all ourselves.
Welcome to the Pat Yourself in the Back outro segment.
Everybody fucking loves Pat.
Pat, you're back.
Yeah, typical shit.
Live video sketch at Sketch Melt.
Yes.
May 5th. May 5th.
May 5th.
Cinco de Mino.
Good one.
Good work, Connor.
And the best part is Connor won't be there.
Yeah, I'm busy having a career.
They can't all be El Nino.
You don't buy this busy having a career thing either.
But yes, come to that show.
Yeah, it's going to be fun.
Follow us on Twitter at Mean Boys Podcast.
Fucking tell your mom about the show. Our moms love it. Your mom's going to love it. It's on Twitter at Mean Boys Podcast. Fucking tell your mom about the show.
Our moms love it.
Your mom's going to love it.
It's a show that's designed for moms, basically.
I mean, not mine, but others.
You know, real moms.
I would love to do a show where all three of our moms are just joined in on everything.
That would be fucking outstanding.
My mom will out-cunt all of you.
Oh, yeah.
You said that like you expected someone to challenge that.
No, my mom is a fierce monster.
Keith didn't happen by accident,
as it turns out.
No, something made this.
Yeah.
We got shows to plug?
I'm going to be in Fresno
all this weekend
with Stephen Randolph and Feng Chao.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
Definitely check it out
if you're in Fresno.
My album, Forever Nap,
is on iTunes for pre-sale
now. It'll be out on May 6th
released. Also, we're doing a release
party at the Murder Room in Los Angeles
where you can pre-order the vinyl and buy the album
and come see a lot of great comedians.
And one other thing I want to announce, at the end of May,
early June, myself and
friend of the show, Kyle Clark, are embarking on the Black
Rainbow Tour. We're going to be going up the
West Coast through San Francisco, Portland, Seattle,
Fresno, a few other places. So check
out my Facebook or Kyle's
and check out his podcast. This is Rad for more information
on that. All right. Not
this week, but the next May 5th
while we're screening. If you're up in the Sacramento
area, I'm going to be headlining Laughs Unlimited. Love that
comedy club at Western Ure, Oregon
University on May 6th. And I'm doing
one of my favorite gigs
at a thai restaurant in yuba city on may 7th i don't know how but it was maybe the most fun i've
ever had on stage the last time i did it uh the week after that may 13th i'll be at the south
point casino at 12 30 in the morning for the dirty at 12 30 show that is one of my other favorite
shows uh it is just fucking a bunch of bananas dumb local vegas rednecks that just get shit
faced and go insane for everything.
I do love the openness.
Sorry, I'm busy having a career.
Hey, I'll be near the pad thai at a casino at midnight.
I want to edit that out desperately,
but I know that me being humiliated is good content.
Guys, I think this is the show.
I think so.
Any more feelings to hurt? No, I think we've heard enough. I think it is the show I think so any more feelings to hurt
no I think we've heard enough
I think it's time to heal
and the show as I always do
fuck everything
God is dead
and good luck
bye Bye.