Mean Boys - EP 16 - Shitty Gumbo

Episode Date: April 21, 2016

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, “Which of the Following”, “El Choco”, “Potato Gun”, and “One Of The Good One...s Man”. Our sponsor is “Now That’s What I Call Awkwardly Attempting Anal Sex”. Follow the show on Twitter @meanboyspodcast / http://twitter.com/meanboyspodcast and email us at meanboyspodcast@gmail.com. Visit us on the web at http://www.meanboyspodcast.com Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-money-store/id515449028) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast everybody, I'm Keith Carey. I'm Joe Dosh. And I'm... Connor McSpadden. Who's a cunt? Yo! Wow. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:00:31 You guys can't see it, but Joe just pulled a lever and there's confetti and big booty bitches. I was like, I'm safe. And then I was like, I'm not safe. And then I was like, I'm dying. Well, fuck. How about a little housekeeping before we get started? Keith's fat, Joe's gay.
Starting point is 00:00:46 I'm great. All right. I think that covers it. Now that we've covered that, let's get into the Mexican joke off. Ay, so topical. All right, guys. I wrote these a long time ago, and I don't remember how they go. New information shows that two of the 9-11 hijackers were roommates with an FBI informant.
Starting point is 00:01:02 This is leading some to believe that the attacks were an inside job, while the informant maintains that doing the dishes is everyone's job. Today is officially Tax Freedom Day, the day in which the United States has earned enough income to pay its income taxes. The holiday typically falls one day after Jew Alchemy Sunday. At 47 years old, Jennifer Aniston has been named People Magazine's Most Beautiful Woman of 2016. In related news, Betty White has been named Hustler Magazine's Cum Slut of the Year. Of the year.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Of the year. Cum Slut of the year. Selling it on swag. I love when they present that award at the Mean Boys World Fair every year. Cum Slut of the year, banging a nail in a promontory point. I don't know what Any of that meant That's a history joke Joe you are
Starting point is 00:01:46 You crossed the precipice Of old timiness I know man And it being Quick sidebar Before the show Joe was just sitting In a rocking chair
Starting point is 00:01:54 Complaining about things And nothing has ever Looked natural It was like a salmon Swimming upstream It was like you were Born to do this I know man
Starting point is 00:02:00 I've gone full Dennis Miller And I'm just not Going to fight it anymore You were like one Mint julep From just like being a fucking painting. It was ridiculous. North Korea has launched what they claim is an ICBM from a submarine this week.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Secretary of Homeland Security Dice Clay released a statement saying, The last time I had an ICBM, I was up in Alaska shooting diarrhea into Kim Jong-un's mouth. Oh! Icy bell movement. Yeah, we all got it. You. Oh! Icy bell movement. Yeah, we all got it. You get it? Icy bell movement? I didn't get it,
Starting point is 00:02:29 but I enjoyed it as if I did. A Canadian couple faces charges after treating their six-year-old son's bacterial meningitis with maple syrup. The couple responded, well, we gave him the syrup and took him to Hortons and I don't know what else to do.
Starting point is 00:02:44 An octopus named Inky has escaped from an Auckland aquarium. New Zealand's government is preparing for the worst by instituting a curfew on their Asian schoolgirl population. It's been a while. ISIS has executed 250 girls for refusing to become sex slaves. A Twitter account associated with the group tweeted, The way we see it, either way, it's more virgins for us, lol. And then that thing with like the dashes and the parentheses with the shrugging guy.
Starting point is 00:03:15 And then like hashtag something in Arabic. Oh my god. The borough of Manhattan celebrated its first juice crawl, a bar hopping event with non-alcoholic health-based juices. The city of Los Angeles asked New York to shut its fucking face forever. 24 people in Pakistan died after eating candy
Starting point is 00:03:32 that had been accidentally mixed with pesticide. A trial date is set to be announced for the candy maker, Muhammad Al-Wanka. We have so many terrorist candy things. I know. Why is that such a motif with our fucking creative output? At least it's not going to happen very, very soon again in this episode. It's our entire lives are just fleeting pleasure and people causing others harm.
Starting point is 00:03:57 We just make this shitty gumbo and we're like, yeah, send that through the fucking internet. That'll be great. We already named this episode. What is it? Shitty gum great. Well, we already named this episode. What is it? Shitty gumbo. Oh, well, there it is. The U.S. suicide rate among middle-aged white people has reached a three-decade high.
Starting point is 00:04:11 Analysts blame the prescription opioid epidemic, the financial crash of 2008, and the diminishing popularity of New Balance sneakers. Gotta jump in here. I have a showdown. Ooh. Okay. A new study shows that suicide rates
Starting point is 00:04:22 are at an all-time high in the U.S. Possible explanations cited include a deepening wage gap, a rise in substance abuse, and Connor McSpadden's busy touring schedule. That's true, guys. I have a career. You guys can catch me this weekend wherever I'm going to be at. Wherever angry cholos are amassed. I mean, Connor's joke was funnier, but Keith's had more hurt feelings. So I just know I can't make heads or tails of this voice.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Yeah, the scales of justice are fucking... The important thing here is that a lot of people died. That's true. Yeah. We can all take solace in that. A Missouri third grader started a lemonade stand to help pay the legal fees from his own adoption. The boy's father remarked, We'll see if he earns enough money for us to love him.
Starting point is 00:05:01 I love when you do your fucking middle of nowhere accent. Because it's so good and you can tell that you're repressing it at all times. Oh, I really am. I'm like a southerner on TV. I'm just speaking as Dan Rathery as possible. All right. I'll go again. Let's go on the mics.
Starting point is 00:05:19 There we go. Research shows that bedbugs are drawn to certain colors, the most attractive being black. Still no explanation as to why these vermin are so attractive to bedbugs are drawn to certain colors, the most attractive being black. Still no explanation as to why these vermin are so attractive to bedbugs. Jesus. Wow. That was both difficult to understand and extremely offensive.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Believe me, when I wrote it, I wasn't happy. The perfect mean boys joke. It's like a Trojan horse because you have to let it so far into your brain to understand it, and then there's just awfulness deep inside. I mean, it's not great. Yeah, yeah yeah it's like it's like a something anyway wow wow we're really breaking out the big yo it's like a thing that's like a other thing
Starting point is 00:05:55 scientists was spotted alaska's first wild-born bison in over a century after confirming her identity keith's mother was quickly tranquilized and re-tagged. I wish you listening right now could see the vicious side-eye Keith just threw at her. Fucking boo! Well, after you slammed me. Yeah, but I'm me, so it's different. Who brought you into the world? Your mom, all right?
Starting point is 00:06:18 What happened? She is a fucking shitty animal in a state somewhere. These are the facts. This would be sadder if she supported me and listened to this show. I was discussing with Keith how my mom is a huge fan of Mean Boys but hates when we make fun of Keith's mother. Really? Yeah, that's her least favorite part by far.
Starting point is 00:06:37 I mean, so it's still a favorite part. Don't get me wrong. But, yeah, my mom's a big fan of the show, too. But I think she's just, i think the cunts are the main thing with her as you might expect i think go figure my mother once said one of my favorite things uh in our uh in our i don't i almost said friendship but i guess really i was broing out with my mom you look like somebody whose best friend is their mom you're not totally wrong uh is she said uh when my son says the word she said this to wrong. She said, when my son says the word,
Starting point is 00:07:05 she said this to my first girlfriend, she said, when my son says the word cunt, it feels like knives in my vagina. Wow. So like her cunt then. Yeah, it's like a fucking... Yeah, so it's like
Starting point is 00:07:17 you got stabbed in the cunt. It's like a knife in that cunt's cunt. Well, I don't know, but knife in that cunt's cunt might have to be the episode title now. Your mother actually said the phrase knives in her vagina to you? Yeah. Well, that explains a great deal.
Starting point is 00:07:29 No, to your girlfriend. Oh, my. Well, yeah. Were you like, was she like talking to your girlfriend at the coffee table and you were like peering down the stairs like a child with divorce? No, they did it right in front of me. The point of this story is I have cool girlfriends and I have a cool mom, all right? Stop hating.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Obviously. An English liquor company has created an anti-aging gin infused with botanicals and collagen. The gin is designed to be consumed by Orange County women sucking it out of their daughter's necks. I'm tapped. All right. CERN has released over 300 terabytes of data from the Large Hadron Collider online today. Bernie Sanders is excited to finally read the transcripts between Hillary Clinton and
Starting point is 00:08:04 God. Okay. Well. Collider online today. Bernie Sanders has decided to finally read the transcripts between Hillary Clinton and God. Okay, well... Let it hang. Was it just bad or was it that I stuttered? It was that a lot of it was... I mean, nothing about it went right. I heard Hadron Collider and then I heard you have a stroke and then I heard Bernie Sanders. It was like an Olympic gymnast
Starting point is 00:08:22 doing a toddler's somersault and then still breaking her leg. All right, Joe, end it strong. Can I get a mulligan? My annunciation has been so good. Take it away. All right, this is pretty bad. I just read what I was going to do.
Starting point is 00:08:42 The Blue Man Group has canceled their shows in North Carolina in a show of solidarity to the LGBT community. A spokesperson for the band said that many of their close friends are lavender, green, black, and turquoise. Glory is safe. I'll be goddamned if I got my daughter going to the bathroom with one of them purples. Oh, and that was my father's name for me growing up. One of them purples.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Rest in peace, Prince. Ouch. Someone's going gonna miss you well that was that was an exceptional Mexican joke off well played yeah
Starting point is 00:09:29 hey well here's now some other thing and how ladies your anniversary is right around the corner and you're celebrating
Starting point is 00:09:42 with the man you love picture the scene the candles are lit he's put a hundred rose petals on the bed, and you're laying in his strong arms, getting lost in his eyes. All you want this year is him, and all he wants is you, to finally let him put it in your butthole. He can tell you're nervous. He brushes the hair out of your eyes and tells you, Baby, I love you no matter what.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Then he waits a second and says, I'm just saying, you know, dinner was really expensive and I paid like 400 bucks for Hamilton tickets, but hey, totally up to you if you want to say no. Your lip quivers, your mind's telling you no, but your body's telling you, maybe I can just bite the pillow and ride this thing out. Well, now you can buy the perfect soundtrack to your night of erotic exploration. Now that's what I call Awkwardly Attempting Anal Sex, Volume 7. This three-disc set has all your favorite songs to accompany you and your lover on your
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Starting point is 00:10:46 you won't even have time to listen to the voice in your head telling you he wants you from behind because he can't stand the sight of your face. Order in the next ten minutes and we'll include an official now inflatable seat cushion that you'll have to find a way to explain to your nosy co-workers. Our free gift to you. The pain will only last a few days, but the memories you'll make together will last a lifetime. So don't wait. Call today and order Now That's What I Call Awkwardly Attempting Anal Sex. Because when it comes to clumsy trips where you keep your number two, we're number one.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Hey, Bradley. Bradley, I heard your mom and dad are getting a divorce. Shut up, you guys. That's not true. I heard they're getting a divorce because your mom's a slut. Yeah, your mom's a slut. She is not. You better shut up. I heard she was going to use a potato gun to shoot a thousand dicks into her asshole. Yeah. Leave me alone, you jerks.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Hey, everybody. Bradley's parents are getting divorced because his mom's gonna use a potato gun to shoot a thousand dicks up her eyes. Ah, shut up, you guys! Hi, Bradley. How was school today? Hey there, champ. Did you hit a home run today, son? Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. School was pretty crappy, actually. Language! Sorry. Uh, son, why don't you
Starting point is 00:12:02 come into the kitchen and sit down with Mom and Dad so we can talk about some stuff? Okay. Well, kiddo, it's no secret that your mom and I haven't been getting along so well lately. Well, we've thought about it a lot, and, well, this is just really hard to say, Slugger, but we think it's the best thing for the family that your mom and I don't live together anymore. But you need to know, Bradley, that even though your dad and I might not love each other anymore, that doesn't mean we don't love you. That's right, son. Love you with all my heart. As long as I'm living,
Starting point is 00:12:31 my baby, you'll be. But I don't understand. Well, you see, Bradley, part of me will always love your father. But I have an insatiable cock lust that no man can satisfy. And the only way I can be happy and be a good mom to you is by shooting a thousand dicks into my asshole with a potato gun-like device. That's right. What? I don't understand. Well, remember, when we built that potato gun at Cub Scouts,
Starting point is 00:12:57 your mom is going to use that to shoot a thousand dicks into her asshole. And while one man can give your mother one dick a thousand times, champ, that's just not even close to the proper dick density and velocity over time that your mother requires. What are you saying? What we're saying, Bradley, is sometimes mommies and daddies get married without realizing that one
Starting point is 00:13:18 of them is a filthy little dick pig. Remember the piggies at the farm from your field trip? That's how I feel about dick, Bradley. Just a slovenly, ravenous, hog-like dick appetite. Yep, yep, sure do. That I can only satisfy by shooting a thousand dicks into my asshole with a potato gun. Yep, yep, the only way. This is crazy. I don't want to hear any of this. This isn't true.
Starting point is 00:13:38 You see, I knew this would tear him apart. Barbara, Barbara. Pretty hard stuff, huh, champ? I don't want to hear any of this, Dad. I know, son. I know. I tell you, when the woman I love came to me and said she couldn't be with me anymore because she had to
Starting point is 00:13:56 use a potato gun to shoot a thousand dicks into her asshole, I said, Barbara, heck, I don't have a thousand dicks and if I did, I wouldn't know how to load them all into a potato gun all at once and fire them into your lower colon. You see, your mom has made a lot of sacrifices for us so we can be happy, kiddo, and now I think it's time for us to make some sacrifices for her so she can be happy. Mainly by firing a thousand dicks into her asshole after two burly men pulled her legs apart to get her the maximum asshole diameter.
Starting point is 00:14:22 You see, it's all about the surface area of her asshole, son. The blast radius of this dick explosion is going to be so enormous and splattershot that we have to spread her rectum to its breaking point to get as close to that thousand as we can. Do you understand, Bradley? I... I think you'll understand
Starting point is 00:14:40 better when you're a little older. How about an ice cream? Hey, Bradley! How's your mom and about an ice cream? Hey, Bradley. How's your mom and dad's divorce going? Oh, yeah. You know what? I'm not afraid of you guys anymore. I'm not afraid of my new life either.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Hey, everybody. Hey, everybody. Yeah, my parents are getting a divorce because my mom needs to shit a thousand dicks in her asshole with a potato gun-like device, and I'm not afraid anymore! Yeah! Way to go, Bradley!
Starting point is 00:15:06 Yeah, Bradley! You're the best! If you know someone whose mother's ravenous desire to cockfeast is splitting up their family, we can help. The National Institute for Motherly Dick Pigs will happily provide literature
Starting point is 00:15:18 on how to talk to your kids about your beast-like cock lust and how it affects your marriage. The National Institute for Motherly Dick Pigs. Healing the blunt force cock trauma on your asshole, Healing the blunt force cock trauma on your asshole. Healing the blunt force cock trauma on your heart. Gwang! Hello, I'm superiority complex of the year winner Sean Penn.
Starting point is 00:15:35 What follows is a conversation between myself and notorious Mexican candy cartel lord Jorge El Chaco Martinez. It is presented for you unedited to draw what conclusions you will about the man and his life. Thanks for agreeing to do this. Thank you for coming to my home. Please take the time to enjoy yourself. You must take a dip in
Starting point is 00:15:56 my horchata jacuzzi before you leave, senor. Of course, it's beautiful. Lovely architecture. Is that adobe? Gingerbread. Gingerbread. Is that adobe? Gingerbread. Gingerbread, seriously. When you live a dangerous life like I do, you must appreciate the finer things while you are still above ground to do so. Are you eating your house?
Starting point is 00:16:19 Si, si, but the Chaka-Locas will repair it shortly. Chocoloca, fixing the house. Gingerbread walls keep the DEA out. All right, well, let's talk about your latest escape from prison. The security camera shows you leaving in the... World's largest wheelbarrow, yes, yes. It was constructed by my Chocolocas over the first three months of my incarceration. Right, right. People are presuming corruption on behalf of the prison because, well, due to your size,
Starting point is 00:16:56 they needed to first remove a 15 by 10 foot wall from the side of your cell in broad daylight for you to make your escape. Prisons, they are like any business. They need electricity, water, and most importantly to me, sugar. You can make anyone look the other way if you've got something sweet enough to dangle in the other direction, my friend. Chaka-laka, it's insulin time, keeping you alive to commit more crimes. Excuse me for just one moment. What is that baby for? I have diabetes 5. It requires insulin fermented in the pancreas of one of my own newborn children to keep my heart in good working order.
Starting point is 00:17:37 So, do you, like, give the baby an IV? Viva El Chaco! Viva El Chaco, the deed is done. The carcass will rot in the Mexican sun. Their carcasses have the added benefit of fertilizing my sugar cane fields. It is my secret recipe, as you say. These are your own children. How do you make so many?
Starting point is 00:18:00 I'll show you. Chaka-laka, milking the boss. It has the consistency of caramel sauce. Now my harem of mothers will be inseminated with the seed of El Chaco. And what remains will be served to me on a delicious Sunday. Here you go, boss. Thank you. Chaka-laka, his poop is fudge His children will never know their father's love
Starting point is 00:18:30 I can see you are surprised by my lifestyle But what is truly sinful is how delicious this is Please, take one bite Um, I'm, I'm, I'm Oh, no, no, please, please, I insist I really don't feel comfortable. Take a bite, Mr. Penn. Please, I, I, I don't.
Starting point is 00:18:51 Chaka-laka, do what he says. He drinks Ripper floats out of severed heads. Oh, God, okay, okay. Oh, there's going to be a misty river in your toilet tonight, Mr. Pet. I'll tell you that. Help, help. Somebody help. Minorities are being repressed and injustices rampant in the world.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Look, up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a white, straight, male liberal. No. I mean, yes, it's a white, straight, male liberal, but it's not just a white straight male liberal, it's one of the good ones, man! One of the good ones, man? One of the good ones,
Starting point is 00:19:29 man. The white straight male liberal superhero able to fight injustice through the pursuit of his own self-image and interest. It is I, townsfolk. What seems to be the problem here? One of the good ones, man. The foundation of America is built on racism and economic inequality is at an all-time high. How are you able to fly, one of the good ones, man?
Starting point is 00:19:46 Simple. One of my superpowers is the ability to sprout angel wings through the utterance of platitudes. Behold, racism is bad! He's glorious. He flew away, though. One of the good ones, man. Born with the ability to know the answer to everything. Able to give without sacrificing. Give me a purse, lady. No.
Starting point is 00:20:07 My kids need diapers, bitch. Give me your purse! Stop right there! One of the good ones, man. I've never seen you in this neighborhood before. And with his trusty sidekick, Bay Area Black Lesbian. Bay Area Black Lesbian! Yes, one of the good ones, man.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Get my phone ready. It's a shame the corporatocracy has created a world where minorities need to steal to survive. Tweet it! You know, I do most of the work. Maybe you're actually the sidekick. Never! He flew away and didn't save me. Yeah, me neither. Alright.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Give me your purse, bitch. Later that evening, one of the good ones, man, finds himself captured by his arch-nemesis, the League of Informed Conservatives. So, we meet again, one of the Good Ones' men finds himself captured by his arch-nemesis, the League of Informed Conservatives. So, we meet again, one of the Good Ones' men. You'll never stop me! It's true. We've tried for many years to destroy the source of your power. We have tried in vain to destroy your army of Chinese slaves,
Starting point is 00:20:59 which build your electronic superhero contraptions to broadcast your inspiring ideas. I'm forming a force field around my mind to broadcast your inspiring ideas. I'm forming a force field around my mind to block out your attack. But we have found your kryptonite, one of the good ones, man. Oh, yes. The heart which grants a white stray liberal the superpower of utter moral superiority. Your money. No!
Starting point is 00:21:25 Can one of the good ones, man, free himself from the clutches of his enemies And save the money which enables his power Find out next week Same gentrified time same gentrified channel I would have voted for McCain In 2000 Alright everybody Mean Boys is back with our Favorite way to close out the show
Starting point is 00:21:44 Our only way to close out the show, our only way to close out the show, a round of Which of the Following. Woo! This week we have a subject that's, I think, very near and dear to all of our hearts and our listeners' hearts. People love when we talk about King of the Hill on the show, and today we are going to be playing Which of the Following the following is not a real King of the Hill fan fiction? Oh! Number one, A, Pro Painful Memories.
Starting point is 00:22:14 B, Bobby Goes Bad. C, Arlen Mowerthon 2006. Or D, Joe Jack's Big Day. Oh, my God. This is just outstanding. Three of these were written by real human beings that live and drive in this world. Oh, my goodness. I had an adventure, honey.
Starting point is 00:22:37 I can't even imagine what propane memories. I just picture Hank holding Peggy's body on a rainy mountaintop. Like, whoa! I think that's going to be Bobby talking to his therapist about Hank's, all of his subtle abuse. He never believed in me! Hey, Dad!
Starting point is 00:22:54 Shut up, Bobby the Cowboys. Your art is gay. Dammit, Bobby, the abyss gaze is back. What a weird, obscure niche of references we've found.
Starting point is 00:23:09 Yeah, Nietzsche and fucking King of the Hill. I'm the Ubermensch, Bobby. God is dead. The Zarathustra
Starting point is 00:23:20 is spracking all over the neighborhood. Oh, I really pulled out of left field for a Nietzsche reference. I'm going to say Arlen Moore in 2006. I am going to say Pro Painful Memories.
Starting point is 00:23:32 You dumb cunts. Joe Jack's Big Day. Everybody knows I love referencing Joe Jack. I wanted to believe, honey. He's my favorite obscure character. Doesn't mean we can't write it. Next week on the Mean Boys Podcast, number two, A, dang old Grabby Sam.
Starting point is 00:23:47 B. Dale Vader. C. John Redporn. Or D. The Last Temptation of Hank Part 2. All the King's Men. Three of these are real.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Dang old people too much for the time on the internet, man. Dang old. Dang old write-up fan fiction. Dang old people too much for the time of the internet, man. Dang old. Dang old writing fan fiction. Dang old slash fic. I want Last Temptation of Hank to be like some Last Temptation of Christ, Hank Hill crossover. Yeah, that's true. Oh, dad, in your hands I commend my spirit. Well, John Redporn is real.
Starting point is 00:24:19 We can all agree on that. I love all the kings and madmen. I'm casting the moneylenders out. Dang it, get out of the temple. Oh, my God. Kick your Roman ass. I'm going to say Dale Vader. I'm going to say dang old Grabby Sam because that reeks of McSpadden.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Dang old Grabby Sam, man. The fake fan fiction is John Redford. Oh, man. You guys are dumb. Number three. A, Rancho You guys are dumb. Number three, A, Rancho Unicorno, My Little Joseph, B, The Return of Samurai Hank, The Strickland Saga,
Starting point is 00:24:54 D, Hardcore Hills, or D, The Hill With No King. Oof. I mean, so first of all, the unicorn one is 100% has to be real. Yeah, I feel like I need to read these. I wanted to read them too, but I didn't have time when I was making these
Starting point is 00:25:12 because I think we're going to introduce that as a segment, dramatic reading of people's shitty fan fictions. That's something we talked about a little bit. They say it's infantile to need closure on things, but I need to know what these are about to move on in my life. My favorite is just the ones with super serious titles. Yeah, like, they took it so...
Starting point is 00:25:28 There's a mythology. Oh, well, yeah. You're treating this like it's, like, Russian literature or, like, an epic fantasy series. Yeah, the idea that somebody did multiple drafts on these,
Starting point is 00:25:36 like, sent it out to trusted friends. I'm gonna say... What do you think of Grabby Sam's development as a character? I'm gonna go with... I don't feel stilted, man. I'm gonna go The Hill with no king. I'm gonna go with no... I don't dang feel stilted, man. I'm gonna go with the hill
Starting point is 00:25:47 with no king. I am gonna agree with y'all on that. The fake king of the hill fanfiction is Rancho Unicorno by Little Joseph. This is the game I was born to write, fellas. You really are. It's like decoding the enigma. Oh. I accidentally put the same one on here twice,
Starting point is 00:26:03 but whatever. A, The Last Temptation of Hank Part 2, All the King one on here twice, but whatever. A, The Last Temptation of Hank, Part 2, All the King's Men. B, Gribble Drabble. C, Prince of the Hill. Or D, Boomhauer Unleashed. Oh, God. I hope Prince of the Hill is like a crossover with Fresh Prince. Oh.
Starting point is 00:26:22 Got into one story, all but half. I'm scared. Fucking Hillary just walks out of Boomhauer's house. Drove to my auntie and uncle in McMainerberry. I'm gonna go with Gribble Drabble. Because I want Boomhauer Unleashed to be real. Yeah. And sometimes my faith should be rewarded.
Starting point is 00:26:39 I think Boomhauer Unleashed is fake, but I want to believe. I'm gonna say D, Boomhauer Unleashed. The fake one is Boomhauer Unleashed. I'm so sorry want to believe. I'm going to say D, Boom Hour Unleashed. The fake one is Boom Hour Unleashed. I'm so sorry, Joe. Like I said, these all can be real. That would be a good segment. People tweet us writing prompts, and we'll each bring in what we come up with. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Let's do that. Yeah, let's do that. King of the Hill writing prompts. Yeah. Maybe not King of the Hill. Anything writing prompts. Anything. Tweet us some writing prompts.
Starting point is 00:27:06 And also, fucking email some questions. We wanted to do a Dear Mean Boys for a long time. Interact with us, you dumb cunts. I know. Yeah. All you guys do is tweet, like, snarky, like, hey, blah, duh. And with engaging content like I just provided. I shut him up.
Starting point is 00:27:22 And we're insulting them and then asking them to do their work for us. Hey, fuck you. Do the show for us. Fuck you and make my thing. All right. Final question. All real or all fake? A. Strickland goes buck wild.
Starting point is 00:27:35 B. The Chippendale story, part one, Arlen Knights. I hate that there's parts. C. Megalomart after hours. Or D. The Secret Life of Peggy Kill. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:53 I always imagined if Peggy Hill was like a Smash Bros. character people would spam that movie. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Bullshit. You're camping the ledge.
Starting point is 00:28:01 By the way, I really want to... Dad! Dad! Dad! That's my purse! I don't know you! I don't know you! Oh my god. Redneck! Redneck!
Starting point is 00:28:17 By the way, I really want... I was really hoping to see Silent King of the Hill coming. Lenore! Lenore! Lenore! My god, this show's been off... Oh yeah. Oh yeah. This show's been off the air for a long time. You are deep into all the references. Dude, it's the funniest show ever. It really is.
Starting point is 00:28:30 I'm going to say all real. I'm going to say all real. Guys, these are all fake. I hate to tell you. Oh, you piece of shit. I would really love to read the Chip and Dale story part one, Arlen Knights, where Dale becomes an erotic dancer. Oh, well, fuck, guys. I think that's the show.
Starting point is 00:28:46 That was a spirited witch of the following. You guys, we did good work today. We sure did. This was a fun one. I'm proud of all ourselves. Welcome to the Pat Yourself in the Back outro segment. Everybody fucking loves Pat. Pat, you're back.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Yeah, typical shit. Live video sketch at Sketch Melt. Yes. May 5th. May 5th. May 5th. Cinco de Mino. Good one. Good work, Connor.
Starting point is 00:29:09 And the best part is Connor won't be there. Yeah, I'm busy having a career. They can't all be El Nino. You don't buy this busy having a career thing either. But yes, come to that show. Yeah, it's going to be fun. Follow us on Twitter at Mean Boys Podcast. Fucking tell your mom about the show. Our moms love it. Your mom's going to love it. It's on Twitter at Mean Boys Podcast. Fucking tell your mom about the show.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Our moms love it. Your mom's going to love it. It's a show that's designed for moms, basically. I mean, not mine, but others. You know, real moms. I would love to do a show where all three of our moms are just joined in on everything. That would be fucking outstanding. My mom will out-cunt all of you.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Oh, yeah. You said that like you expected someone to challenge that. No, my mom is a fierce monster. Keith didn't happen by accident, as it turns out. No, something made this. Yeah. We got shows to plug?
Starting point is 00:29:55 I'm going to be in Fresno all this weekend with Stephen Randolph and Feng Chao. It's going to be a lot of fun. Definitely check it out if you're in Fresno. My album, Forever Nap, is on iTunes for pre-sale
Starting point is 00:30:06 now. It'll be out on May 6th released. Also, we're doing a release party at the Murder Room in Los Angeles where you can pre-order the vinyl and buy the album and come see a lot of great comedians. And one other thing I want to announce, at the end of May, early June, myself and friend of the show, Kyle Clark, are embarking on the Black
Starting point is 00:30:22 Rainbow Tour. We're going to be going up the West Coast through San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Fresno, a few other places. So check out my Facebook or Kyle's and check out his podcast. This is Rad for more information on that. All right. Not this week, but the next May 5th while we're screening. If you're up in the Sacramento
Starting point is 00:30:37 area, I'm going to be headlining Laughs Unlimited. Love that comedy club at Western Ure, Oregon University on May 6th. And I'm doing one of my favorite gigs at a thai restaurant in yuba city on may 7th i don't know how but it was maybe the most fun i've ever had on stage the last time i did it uh the week after that may 13th i'll be at the south point casino at 12 30 in the morning for the dirty at 12 30 show that is one of my other favorite shows uh it is just fucking a bunch of bananas dumb local vegas rednecks that just get shit
Starting point is 00:31:04 faced and go insane for everything. I do love the openness. Sorry, I'm busy having a career. Hey, I'll be near the pad thai at a casino at midnight. I want to edit that out desperately, but I know that me being humiliated is good content. Guys, I think this is the show. I think so.
Starting point is 00:31:24 Any more feelings to hurt? No, I think we've heard enough. I think it is the show I think so any more feelings to hurt no I think we've heard enough I think it's time to heal and the show as I always do fuck everything God is dead and good luck bye Bye.

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