Mean Boys - EP 182 - Vape History Month (feat. Ramsey Badawi & Opey)

Episode Date: February 12, 2019

Our Spring Tour dates are live now at meanboysodcast.com Listen to Connor and Jessica's new podcast, Existential Crisis: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/exist…d1449291796?mt=2 Go to Now Is Not The Time live at UCB in LA on 2/26: https://sunset.ucbtheatre.com/performance/67372 Download the Himalaya app and follow Mean Boys: itunes.apple.com/us/app/himalaya-…d1275493456?mt=8 Fill out our tour sheet and get on our mailing list: bit.ly/2vZBsQV Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/meanboys Enjoy our new Discord server: discord.gg/5KWf32m Fuck with the new Mean Boys subreddit: reddit.com/r/meanboys Subscribe to our YouTube channel: youtube.com/channel/UC0hvkj7TOPzMdJbKIh1L_hw Send us an email at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at [phone] Follow our guest Ramsey Badawi on Twitter: http://twitter.com/ramsbad Follow our guest Opey on Twitter: http://twitter.com/swankyopey Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Follow Tom on Twitter: twitter.com/gossgoss6 Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/meanboyspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

holy moly you guys it's the mean boys podcast with ramsey and opie the boys back in town once again the og mean boy crew promoting the live now is not the time spectacular at ucb sunset right here in los angeles february 26 8 30 p.m all three of the mean boys are going to be there as well as ramsey and opie tickets on sale now that's gonna be a black i fucking love these two of my favorite dudes in the world i love laughing with these guys more than it's a treat yeah this is uh this is one of the most fun times i've had podcasting in a while. Oh, so much to get into how black people feel about ceramics and a lot of vape rights issues. It's fucking fun.

There's some Mean Boys fucking Hall of Fame shit in here, so please do enjoy. Speaking of Mean Boys bullshit, we're going on tour. Yeah, that's right, guys. And we got a new date to announce. We do have a new date. Yeah, April 4th, we are going to be in Cincinnati, Ohio, at the Motormouth Bar and Grill. That's the most excited anyone's ever said the word Cincinnati before. Cincinnati, Ohio.

Tickets for that will be on sale, if not now, very, very soon. We'll have the link. No, we're up against the Globetrotters in a tractor pull, so we really need to show us some love. Yeah, that's in the middle of our big-ass tour. I love that when we started planning this tour, we were like, oh, we'll just do a nice breezy one, and now we're doing the same amount of cities we did on the spring tour, but in half the time.

It's going to be a gauntlet. But hey, it's fucking, and God bless you for reaching out and adding shows and hitting us up. All the Mean Boys listeners have been lovely lately. I get all the tweets and stuff, and I try to talk to everybody. And it's nice. I like it. So if you guys want to talk or say hi, it's great. But yeah, more importantly, come see us on the road.

It's going to be a blast. I'm fucking doing stand-up at some of these live podcasts. I got a bunch of new fucking stand-up bits. They're phenomenal. Same. Yeah, I got some new shit as well. Come see all this PT Cruiser gold. February 26th, we're doing a live Mean Boys podcast at the Madhouse Comedy Club in San

Diego, California. March 28th, Houston. March 29th, Austin. March 30th, Plano, which is Dallas. And don't you fucking tell me otherwise. March 31st, Kansas City, Missouri. April 1stst St. Louis April 3rd Indianapolis April 4th

You guessed it. It's Cincinnati You already know April 5th Nashville April 6th Jacksonville a lot of Ville's Yeah, that Jacksonville one's gonna be fun. That's a house show where they just do stand-up shows in some dude's house. Yeah, and apparently Dave Ross did it and had a good time. So if you're in Jacksonville or near it come fucking hang out at that one because it's gonna be a

wacky adventure. It's good enough for Dave. It's good enough for us. Yeah, and Dave by the way is album recording tonight the day this comes out. So if you're in Jacksonville or near it, come fucking hang out at that one because that's going to be a wacky adventure. If it's good enough for Dave, it's good enough for us. Yeah. And Dave, by the way, his album recording is tonight, the day this comes out. So if you're in L.A., go to The Echo. Oh, it's tonight? Well, not tonight. Not tonight. Oh, yeah.

It's time. Yeah, I'll be there. Yeah, I think I'm going to go hang out. And then the 7th in Orlando and the 8th in Atlanta. So fucking get tickets at MeanBoysPodcast.com. They're all on sale. And, yeah, the cheap are online, so buy them ahead of time So we don't shit our pants Thinking we're gonna go

Perform for four people And enjoy that And you know If we get out there And if we hit a certain goal Something fun might Kind of happen Tom

You got anything To add about this Yeah No We have 500 iTunes reviews Someone will get to Tase me at a live show So if you want to see

That happen And you haven't left An iTunes review And you're in one of those fucking cities that we're going to, get us to 500 so it happens this tour

and we can move on to the next bananas, bonkers, bullshit thing. We want to electrocute Tom. We really do. We already have the taser. A listener sent us to us. You know how hard it is

every day to wake up knowing we could be electrocuting Tom and not do it? And it's not guaranteed? It's fucking heartbreaking. Yeah. Do they even know it's Christmas?

How many iTunes reviews do we got left? 45 away. And that's like the amount of tickets we've sold in pre-sales already. So, I mean, I see no reason why we shouldn't be hitting this. Yeah, let's do it, fellas. And ladies. Mostly fellas. Mostly fellas.

We know who we appeal to. Predominantly fellas. Ladies encouraged. But, I mean, understandably not interested. I can't imagine being a woman and wanting to hear what any of us think about anything ever. I know, man. Hey, we're trying. we're doing our best we like you all right so uh glad they're mean five stars i listened to the banana fan an episode because my favorite comedian was a guest and got hooked on this podcast immediately still trying to figure it out but

it's fun who sleeps on a mattress in a kitchen that's the man we're gonna electrocute you know what i like about that itunes review dave is not the most famous guy in the world but he's somebody's favorite comedian that's beautiful I thought that was nice so yeah go pop on over just a couple clicks to leave us a quick iTunes review and speaking of a couple clicks to help us out follow us on Twitter and Instagram at Mean Boys Podcast and throw us a subscription over on YouTube

where you can listen to every single episode in high quality 128 kilobops you know that thing you're doing right now? You can do it over there. Yeah, that's right. You can also watch porn in your browser while you have a tab open. You can do weird shit.

I do that sometimes, right? I pick the porn I'm going to jack off to while I'm still watching Weekend Update, and I'm like, is this making me horny for Colin Jost subconsciously? You're doing food prep for your pornography. Exactly. Well, yeah, but definitely get on the YouTube now,

because when we go back on tour, I've got to figure Tom is going to bring back the notorious Tom Goss vlogs. Oh, fuck, I've got to, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and if you haven't looked at those, go see what the spring tour looked like. We've got a bunch of videos of wacky shit we got into. Now, if you've ever been watching Vice News and thought,

I wish the people behind this had been concussed. You've got the perfect, Tom does these fucking amazing weird tone poems with video. Yeah. And they're really really good they're very good yeah there's a lot of

fun you can go watch all those and yeah maybe maybe star in one yourself if you come see us on the road and clips of us

doing they're fucking clips of us doing if you want to see me get hit in the balls while a camera is in on my head you can see that

that's the Chicago one if you want to see what I look like after I've done a bunch of drugs in the morning and have to drive from Detroit to Cleveland to Pittsburgh, you can watch that. You might see the inside of Dave Cyrus' apartment.

You could see it. If you want to see our Greyhound crash into a traffic sign, you can see that. I forgot that happened. Like, all the little beats that you don't hear about, you get to see on those vlogs. God damn, guys. We're fucking ghetto. Dude, we rule, man. We are ratchet as shit.

I know. Yeah. I keep thinking like yeah i think career's going okay and i'm like is it career is going okay it's just the okay version of whatever this is i know it's fucking sad when you look around and go well i guess this is pretty good yeah i mean what do you want to do feel fine in an apartment this is way better yeah this is exciting there's a lot of energy so uh all that's there there's the mean boys subreddit in the discord to chat with your fellow fans those Those are fun places. I pop in every now and again.

I get kind of mad and I leave. But you guys seem to have fun. Every time you comment on the Discord, you're butthurt about something. I would appreciate if you didn't do bad faith dissections of my ideas. And you maybe thought, maybe he didn't communicate this perfectly. I could bring it up to him in a nice way. I just gloss over. Connors is nuts or whatever.

I gloss over anything. Nobody ever called you a not i know they did i'm being dramatic yeah i know i i gloss over anything they say about the show or us because i'm just like ah cool whatever i can't i really don't mind they love you you're a saint you are i've never seen a bad word about yeah we're the problem and frankly i get it i'm definitely the most annoying i'm the guy's the shittiest attitude i'm the best, which means that's why they probably want to come after me. But no, I actually am flattered, really, by the people going, ah, this show sucks now. I'm like, hey, that really means something. Oh, and we're also flattered by the people who still like the show.

Oh, of course, yeah. I mean, they're like, oh, it should be more like this. And I'm like, oh. And it's funny to me because I read that and I go, it's not going to be. That's what you want, but you're not going to get gonna get it but also there's a lot of shit going on there that's not even mean boys related oh no it's just porn discussion and recipes being shared and all kinds i'm pretty sure you can make a pipe bomb i that's a it's a service they have and uh yeah stay tuned boys discord kill a cop uh don't satire satire alarm risk yeah and we got a bunch of fucking we got some great guests coming up we got tim dylan coming

back to the studio yeah we got fucking karen feehan's coming home karen feehan oh man that was one of the most fun ones yeah if you want to hear i'm getting i'm really i'm uncorking some vintage slut shaming for when karen comes in you want to hear the world the world's youngest cunty wine mom come in here. Again, a woman who I ran into on the street, it was 15 seconds of talking before she got into a blowout fight with the total stranger about nothing. He was like, what time is it?

And he's like, time for you to suck my cock. Karen starts back to make sure I can tell him on the show. Oh yeah, that would be good stuff. So yeah, a lot of fun things going on in Mean Boys land. Thanks for being a part of it. You give our lives meaning. And, boy, howdy.

What an episode today with Ramsey Badawi and Opie something. Yeah, and our Patreon. Oh, I forgot. Yeah, we have a Patreon page. Five bucks a month. Weekly bonus content. Another hour of Mean Boys in your life. Yeah.

Ten bucks a month. Monthly goodies. Cone's own keychains going out. They went out yesterday uh as of the release of this show uh so you'll look for those in your mailbox soon this month we're doing another sticker pack and you goddamn right i made a veto powers white power pizzeria sticker and stay out uh and i think i'm gonna do a ramsey bedaui vape lawyer bus bench ad uh just so and i gotta figure out maybe i can get him to set up a google voice for the phone number so it's a real phone number that people can call.

Oh, that would rule. And then maybe we could do a bit with that. It could also just be to the Mean Boys voicemail line. It could be the Mean Boys voicemail line. We'll figure it out. Yeah, we'll figure that out. And anyway, just enjoy the episode. It's a good one.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey everybody, welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast. The boys are back in town. I'm Connor McSpadden. I'm Tom Goss. I'm Keith Carey. I'm Ramsey Badawi. And I'm... A hypebeast fortune teller.

There's a mystery Cleo in town. I see a lot of Supreme in your future. Oh, it looks camouflage. Oh, bathing ape. Brands I don't know. Yeah, dude. Ramsey doesn't wear any articles. One guy's losing his mind over it.

Oh, my God. Rick is like, I don't know what bathing ape is, but I don't think I can say it. Ramsey's favorite designer is the things he found in the back of a taxi cab. I dress like I'm here to help you move. You look like the first guy who figured out how to get a cash racket off those bird scooters. Yeah. Dude, I saw a bird scooter abandoned in our neighborhood, which they don't drop them off here. And I'm like, what level of gentrification is a bird scooter chop shop?

Like, where are we at with the progress where we're doing that? Who rode a bird scooter to here and was like, I'm good. I'll go on foot. Ramsey looks like he works at a Middle Eastern Best Buy for the chic squad. Long way to go. Long way to go. Put on your walking shoes, guys. Opie's telling a joke.

Welcome to the jihad bar. Okay, preferences? The apple, the bite came from Eve, that bitch. Oh, man, they're just telling you how to troubleshoot your suicide vest. You tried throwing it on and turning it back off again. Do it on the school bus just in case. Okay, now throw your son off the roof. And turn off and on Bluetooth.

Here's your problem here. You're a woman. You got it, Duane. Put it in rice. You don't have rice, it's okay. Put it in chickpeas. Oh, yeah, guys. I guess you do my new bit about Arab guys.

When they can't think of a word, they have to, like, smell it into them to remember it. So you'd be talking to them and be like, buddy, I cannot believe I don't run into you. It's such a serendipity. Very funny. Very true. Yeah. Fuck, dude. How are you guys?

It's fucking great to have all the roommates back. I got to tell you, when you guys do the show, it's funny how many of the famous guests, the numbers beat. It's like Jeff Ross. I'll get around to it. But Opie's there? He gets. That's an honor to hear that. Well, he just said Opie, so I'm not going to respond to that.

No, Ramsey does do better than Opie. Ramsey does better than maybe anybody on this show. It is weird, yeah. You and Adam Todd Brown are neck and neck. Well, neck and... No neck. Yeah, neck and fucking... Well, it's an arm.

Gullet. Happy to be here. Happy to see just mounds of threatening mail. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, man. They don't even send me anything that's not red anything i don't how do you i don't know how you mail a fist but they did it oh could you take the shit that you don't want i'm thinking i sorted it yeah i sorted it a little

yeah that's what i thought on the podcast thing i guess we just don't know what to throw away from now on just throw it all away i just We described it as like we're getting an invitation to Hogwarts level of threatening man. But instead of Hogwarts, it's debtor's prison. I just love how much trash you guys have accumulated since me and Ramsey have moved out. It's like you guys are like getting ready. I like Max and Spenny. All right? They're good guys.

Yeah, I like Spenny. I just feel like you guys are getting ready to fight the two villains from Home Alone. You're just setting up a trap. You saw our paint can chandelier. Whoa, dude, you don't like all my really pragmatic purchases I've made? You do like Macaulay Culkin made even worse decisions. That's what you do. Yeah, no, it's like Macaulay Culkin, but it's half Home Alone and half the movie Blank Check with Mike Muniz.

But instead of a million, it's 4,000. And he spends it right away. Every time I come here, Connor has new shoes, but is still equally as empty inside. If Richie Rich lost everything in the 2008 crash,

that's Connor McSpan. I'm going frantically, which Yeezys will fix me? Well, the answer is the 700 in the Ursa colorway coming in spring. It's really going to compliment my collection of nine of the same hoodie that I bought. I know, dude.

They shouldn't make me so happy. But every time I put them on, I'm like, yeah, that's good. It just satisfies my autism. I don't know what it is. I feel the same way about hats from casinos. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? Casinos make you so happy.

When you put one on, it's like you got Mario powers. I know how to hotwire a car when I wear the commerce one. As soon as I put one on, my voice gets a little more gritty, and I just immediately start grifting. Yeah. It's like, ah, cash that child support check and split aces. Dude, I drove past a Hollywood Park casino the other day, and they said, celebrating black history. And I was like, how? Do you do that?

By ruining it. How do you do that in a casino? Celebrating black history with 15 Japanese men sitting in a circle smoking. Let's celebrate black history, but what are you going to do, Hollywood Park Casino? This month, all dice.

The whole roulette wheel is black. It's very easy. You never feel hotter than walking into an Indian casino. I am just... No, they're going to make all the roulette in Black History Month. All the red ones are cops. Okay, so it's just cops or black.

Wait, did you say feather or dot? Feather or dot. Oh, my God. I wasn't sure. I wanted to ask. I don't know. It's a new domain extension. I got a dot feather.

I want to go to a dot casino. I've never been to one of those. I would legitimately not be surprised. Jackpot. Decentary. Tom, how many times have I told you? How many times have I told you they're called dip and dots and those are vending machines? They're not slot machines.

We've been over this. I win every time. Yeah, jackpot. Well, you guys came by the trap for a special reason today. Do you want to tell us about it a little bit? Give it a little plug? Oh, we're jumping up a plug up top? Well, yeah.

We want everyone to hear about it. It's exciting news, man. February 26th, Tuesday, 830. Opie and I are actually going to be doing... And listen, guys. You know I don't want to do this. But they keep dragging me in. We're doing Now Is Not The Time live at UCB.

First guest. At the UCB. At the Upr Is Not The Time live at UCB. Yeah. What? First guest. At the UCB. At the Upright Citizens Brigade. Comedy venue of notes. Which UCB? I am now co-host. Yep, Sunset. And Opie's going to help me co-host.

I didn't get the call. That's another job that Opie just walked right into. No one really considered Connor for that. He just went right. Congrats on hitting your quota, Ramsey. Now, what? It is Black History Month. Oh. For another, what, It is Black History Month. Oh.

For another, what, 15 minutes? Here's the thing. Oh, yes, the DVD extras to White History. Yes, good. Well, you know, 15 minutes of black time, that's like 30 hours. I thought of a good new name the other day. A new name for conspiracy theories, Black History. I do want to say this.

I would like to encourage all the Mean Boys fans to come. It is going to be. As would I. Here is the plan. It's want to say this. I would like to encourage all the Mean Boys fans to come. It is going to be. As would I. Here is the plan. It's going to be amazing. The Mean Boys are going to be the guests. And I'm telling you right now, I am going to work so hard to get banned from UCB. I'm not going to sleep.

I'm telling you, dude. The second one, it's actually going to be in Aaron Glazer's house. We're going to track him down. And he's got a nice foyer. We can get like 20 people in there. Yeah, we're just going to be in Aaron Glazer's house. We're going to track him down. And he's got a nice foyer. We can get like 20 people in there. Yeah, we're just going to walk in. What's he going to say? No, we're coming in.

Next stop, Compound Media. You couldn't book Kayla Hartman's apartment? The Kayla Hartman? That wasn't even... Do you think he has an apartment? Is he like... Do you think he's... What is he doing?

I think he An apartment swag I think he lives On the dark side of the moon With the space Nazis That's the last thing I heard I smell a new Mean Boys segment

Where are they now? Oh You know what I'll tell you what I'm gonna pop on over To gab.com And see if I can't Figure it out

Welcome back to Hashtag me now Me now That's where you Follow up on the Dude if we pitch this shit We could fucking sell it To Vice tomorrow Me now. That's where you follow up on the media. Dude, if we pitch this shit, we could fucking sell it to Vice tomorrow. Me now. Here's what they would say.

The thing is about me now is the answer is always compound media. What is compound media? I don't know what compound media is. It's Anthony Cumia's podcast now. It's like where Gavin McGinn is or was. You know that farm upstate where they say they're going to send your dog when it gets sick Like that for rapists Jesus Christ

If there's like a tackle shop But just for race baiting Welcome back to Gropi and Anthony It takes place in a part of New York Where it's illegal to have a bengal In your fucking room Like a bengal tiger It is illegal

And he's loaded so he's like a mansion It's basically like if there was a racist Avengers Bengal in your fucking room. Like, you know, the cats. Like a Bengal tiger? Yeah, yeah. It is legal. Anthony could be an open one. And he's loaded, so he's like a mansion. It's basically like if there was a racist Avengers, that's where they'd hang out. Oh, for Anthony. Open Anthony. Yeah. That was his last name. Yeah, well.

Of a poorly edited YouTube clip fame. If you've ever wanted to watch a slideshow of photos of Louis C.K. circa 2006, boy howdy. Yeah. The Open Anthony archives are the place to go, buddy. Of Louis C.K. headshots from 2002. Yes. Yeah. He's got a dark-ass red goatee.

I know. Fucking vibrant. And I miss him. And that's why we're here today. I want to talk about him. Louis will be our special guest. Hashtag free Louis. And now is not the time.

Yeah. He'll be popping in. I think we could get Louis on Now Is Not The Time. I really do. At this point, I think we could get him. Yeah. It's like, well, I can't make it worse. Yeah, man. So go fucking see the boy. Yeah, it'll be fun. That's point, I think we can get out. Yeah. It's like, well, I can't make it worse. Yeah, man.

So go fucking see the boy. Yeah, it'll be fun. That's pretty simple. The 26th? Yeah. February 26th, 8.30. We're going to burn that fucking place down. I promise you.

Yeah. I mean, Ramsey, I mean, he's, look, he's got a chance to really do a punk rock germs play the whiskey a go-go type thing here. Ramsey has promised no comedy, all violence. So go ahead and go to UCB Sunset. I'll put it this way. If blackface is offensive to you, do not come. Because I will not be there.

Yeah, what are you? Well, I was a fringed OP. Oh, if any blackface is offensive to you. Jesus Christ. Those are the kind of bits you're going to get in life. What do you want? A fucking cookie? Yes.

That would be a great start. I'd love one, too. I would love a cookie. That's reparation.? A fucking cookie? Yes. That would be a great start. I'd love one, too. I would love a cookie. That's reparation. You want a cookie? I got you a cookie. Go to meboyspodcast.com and enable them, and then I'll give you a cookie. When I say cookie, I don't mean Empire.

I mean a real cookie. We just mailed some fucking loud hood rat to everyone. And we gave you guys an Empire. It airs on Fox. We mailed you a cookie. We mailed you a cookie. We mailed you a homies doll. My name's Cookie and I need help.

Speaking of cookies, you guys, I was watching Shark Tank the other day, which is mostly how my stories start now. Yeah, the most Ramsey sentence.

You did the traditional Ramsey lean back. I've got a dumb idea. No, but it's really the most tragic thing and I want to encourage all the Mean Boys fans to check it out. The guy who started Famous Amos came in.

He had a new cookie, and it was just a story of tragedy all the way through about how they just embezzled him from, like, the 60s or whatever, and he was still selling cookies, and I found it to be very interesting. It's an interesting part of entrepreneurial history that I wish... Did any of the sharks bite? No, none of the sharks bit.

So it's a guy who's just made cookies and is like, well, now I made a new cookie. Yeah, he just made a new cookie. And that was it. Yeah, I didn't have a joke in 40 years to make a new cookie. Yeah, how fucking hard is it? Wait, oatmeal and raisins? Yeah. Old cookies sucked.

Yeah. You think famous, famous cookies suck? Yeah, they're all hard. You're right, Tom. Yeah. Old cookies back in the day were bad. They're horrible. Have you guys had cookies from your parents? Yeah, they're all horrible. You're right, Tom. Old cookies back in the day were bad. They're horrible. Have you ever gotten cookies from your parents?

Yeah, I like those cookies. They're gross, kind of stale-y, kind of weird. Yeah, my mom makes pretty – you guys have had some of my mom's baked ice. Your mom makes cookies? Oh, yeah. She fucking loves it. She just bakes shit. She loves it.

I cannot – I literally could never imagine my mom baking something that did not have rose water in it. Some goofy ingredient i describe ramsay's cultural desserts as the most yummy food you can make before electricity was discovered i love middle eastern food baklava is good but you don't bake baklava and also it's like that's like a thing you buy you don't bake baklava fried no it's it's a it's baked i believe but it's it's you don't make it you buy it you know? You find the most delicious rocks, and you just kind of grind those up. My mom told me the saddest story.

The last honey in the kingdom. Like, baklava, you could pave a driveway with it. You truly could. I really think you're so on the nylon. My mom told me the saddest story when she went to Haiti. Wow. They were making, to make, like, chocolate, like, bars. What they do is they mix it with mud.

Yeah. Whoa. And then they bake the mud with the chocolate, very little chocolate, and then they bake it off, and that's what you eat. Wow. I just feel like you should just not have chocolate. Yeah, at that point. Who needs a Snickers that bad? They're like, I know it's mud. Well, it's your birthday. Eat some

dirt. I also want to talk to Haiti and be like, let's get the priorities straight here. Maybe chocolate isn't where we should... We should go on infrastructure. What do you guys think? No, we're really all in on the candy bar thing. You're right. The UCB is going to love these libertarian takes. No way.

I've never had it. Is it good? It's so bad. It's got to be the worst. I love Middle Eastern food. I had rosewater ice cream. It just tastes like you're eating frozen flour. I think rosewater might literally be just like-

Rosewater ice cream sounds like the name of a woman Opie's going to date. Really? Yeah, I mean, yes. This season on Empire, Tiffany Haddish. Rosewater ice cream. I guess that'll probably happen in my relationship with Daffodil lemon cake. Yo, man, Daffy's stressing me out, dog. Daffy's stressing me out?

That's your cute pet name for it, Daffy. But what of Chrysanthemum Toblerone? That was one of my best bits of all time. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. That was about my half-black son. You know, we named him some kind of white and kind of black, like Toblerone. Oh, guys, we're all fired up. We name him something kind of white and kind of black, like Toblerone. Fuck. Oh, guys, we're all fired up.

What do you say we get into the Mexican joke-off? Let's do it. Under my jokes? Ay, so topical. Under my jokes. That's all good, man. We'll just do, like, three. Yeah, we'll go through them.

Yeah, I got some. Oh, but you can have some of mine. Yeah, let's do it. Oh, that'll be fun. You know what was pretty funny? Because we did a show together. It's an honor to see you twice in one week by the way i missed you guys when you did the retribution uh uh reparation bit yeah i forgot that was me that said yeah well i had to make it like an evil white guy because i tried it before i was like i had a roommate would you find one i like i embed i embelled oh fuck i lost i forgot you embelled i embellished it a little bit

where like i said it was a different person and like yeah he's like white black people just want their retributions but that's not what you said you just yeah isn't that that thing where you guys get 40 acres and a mule hey i get everyone's Tom impression is the same where you just point at part of your hand. Oh, dude. Someone tagged me on Instagram. Sorry. And I see me doing a bit, and I'm just going like this. I'm not sure I'm talking.

I was like, is this on loop? And then I turned the sound on. No, I'm saying different words. And so I'm just going like this. Like an angry animatronic. You're the broken animatronic. Pirates of the psychiatric hospital. It's like you've come out of a cuckoo crack house.

I do. I'll take it away this week. An Oregon man was arrested for raping a horse. The victim is expected to testify in court, provided that his legal team puts peanut butter on his gum so it looks like he's talking. Oh, yeah. I got gotta joke off showdown a man arrested in 2018 for molesting a horse has been arrested again this time for burglary turd burglary just because i like the phrase turd burglary ah horse all right uh trump supporters gathered at the border wall to form a human wall immigrants stated that they will get by by waiting for the wall to tie its shoes

and then slip through the ginormous cracks. The photo, they were all obese people. This is straight from the desk of human trafficker Tom Gott. It's about the wall. I have a joke off. It's not really a joke off, I guess. But did you guys hear about this? Arizona Representative Gail Griffin, a Republican,

has proposed a $20 Tax for state residents Who want to access online porn To help fund the wall I mean I've heard of border security but boner security I saw that She called porn a public health crisis I was like you live in Arizona You can't go outside for

Nine months of the year. Opie forgot to write jokes, so I have jokes, but I want you to read them, Opie, as I wrote them. There's a set up there that I'd like you to read. Oh, no. Big week for blackface. You guys following the blackface news? This week, Washington Post surveyed Virginia's African Americans to determine the approval rating of Governor Ralph Northam. In a shocking twist, the poll actually revealed 60% of the state's black population approves of Northam, while 20 disapproved. The remaining 15% reported they thought the governor was aight.

Keep it up on your blackface. I don't want to read any more Ramsey's jokes I get all my news from blackface book Blackface book Wow I feel like I haven't even heard that We're a little short sighted with all this blackface news It is a huge

There's like Every single guy in Virginia did blackface Is basically what happened The one black guy who didn't also just raped. Is accused of rape. Yeah. Wow. He just naturally has a black face.

He's a black dude. He's scrubbing maybe. Yeah. So, yeah, blackface or rape face. I mean, really, it's a tough call. It is a tough. It's a real. It's Virginia, though.

It's Virginia. Yeah. Virginia's racist and. That's why I think Pusha T should be governor. I've seen the people say that. I feel like, though, it shouldn't be Pusha T. I feel like, if anything, we should get somebody who will really clean things up and have Chris Brown. He's also from Virginia.

It'll be fun and interesting. Chris Brown, keeping bitches in check. I love that Pusha T just didn't apologize for making fun of that guy with cerebral palsy or whatever. He was just like, yeah, that's kind of just what I do sometimes. I fucking loved it. He literally took on the Trump defense. He was like, that's just it. We just do it sometimes.

He's like, yeah, that's one of the things I said. Anything you want to say about it? Speaking of people with debilitating muscular diseases, a man with ALS died when his car caught on fire. His last words were, man, I sure could use one of those ice buckets right about now. That was so funny, my hat fell off. A man was arrested under suspicion of impersonating an L.A. police officer.

The LAPD knew he was an imposter when they discovered his donut was just a bagel. I don't know if that works, but you're turned your head super slow like you were revealing who the murderer was. Alright guys, two Boston strippers are under arrest for stealing a cop's gun. Now to be fair, a stripper getting a cop's gun is like getting a star in Mario.

The music plays, you're invincible for 45 seconds. I feel like you've been thinking about Mario a lot this week, because it's the second time that's come up. Oh, I guess I have, yeah. A senior Holocaust historian

is praising Finnish authorities for publishing a report concluding that Finnish troops likely participated in the mass murder of Jews during World War II, which is incredibly shocking because my dad taught me the Holocaust never happened. That's so great.

That was like your American Girl book. We're just like, okay, Ramsey, you are six years old. It is time you knew about your body. Climb up on my odd lap. Chapter one, Jew. Chapter two, Jew. Continue. Do you have another one for Opie to do?

Yeah, I do. Do you want to do another one? Yeah. Okay. Opie, do this one. I think we should give Opie just the transcripts of Dennis Miller sets. Jeff Bezos was in the news earlier this week. Who heard about this?

Apparently, the National Enquirer... Wait, wait. No one responded. You've written in his little shitty Leno-isms. Apparently, the National Enquirer threatened to release pictures they obtained of his dork. The publication alleged that Bezos had got quite a tidy weiner. He went on Medium to write an article to defend himself where he said,

it's not about the size of the boat, but whether or not I can get it to you in two days or less with free... He went on Medium, but they made him move it over to extra small? That's a better punchline. I was trying to... Damn it, Keith.

Sorry. I was trying to tiny him. A man admitted he has not washed his penis in the 24 years. Even weirder, that guy's only 22. A man had to go to the hospital after he ate a prickly catfish like he saw in Jackass. I've heard of drinking like a fish, but this is ridiculous. What? Absolutely what?

What? Fish what? What? Fish is as I'm saying, drink like a fish. Yeah, we get that. He drank a catfish. He did not drink a catfish. Yes, he did. I also like that you called it prickly. Yeah, that's the species of catfish.

Oh, okay. I thought that was commentary. What have I said to you about using sentences? I think it would be a good step. All right, guys. A man was arrested for a machete attack in an in-and-out parking lot. I've heard of animal style, but this, it's ridiculous. This is the kind of news I like.

That's not better. Speaking of news, Opie got a pretty good fucking piece of news with that mountain lion. Hell yeah, man. We got a lot of tweets about the mountain lion. I like that people around the world were like, oh, look, he got you. For anybody who's new to the show, Opie is convinced he could murder a mountain lion with a machete. With a machete. Yeah. Yeah.

With my comedy career on the line, too. Yeah. Well, yeah, if you died, you probably would not be headlining anywhere. Yeah. Opie would be like Gidget for writing jobs. Like, this guy survived a horrible attack, but still, he can surf. Now, do you believe me, though? With a machete, I could easily kill him.

I honestly think you could. I've come right on. I think you take it 60% of the time. The mountain lion takes it 40% of the time. I'm so not convinced. I would give him 80-20. That man also, he fought a child mountain lion. Yeah, but I'm saying me and a grown-up.

Anyone can kill a baby. I could kill a child for sure, easily. Yeah. I'm saying with a grown-up. Isolate that sound clip. Isolate it right now. I could kill a baby. I can kill a child for sure. Yeah. I'm saying with a grown-up. Isolate that sound clip. Isolate it right now. I can kill a child. I mean, when it comes to killing children, you've got the haircut.

You've got that. This is a warlord do. All you need is tuxedo shoes. That was the best Black History Month ever is when that Mountain Lion News came out. You look like the fun camp counselor for child soldiers. You turn your other way on your skull throne. All right, kids, afterwards we can play on the jungle gyms this time. Coney's arts and crafts guy.

Yeah, we could do floor exercises on all the statues we tore down. All right, now you're going to take the ears that you cut off and now you put them through this string and then you put them around your neck. And look, you're an Indian. Ramsey, what now you put them through this string, and then you put them around your neck, and look. You're an Indian. Ramsey, what do you got? What does it mean? I got a new story from the hot world of marketing. You guys want to hear this one?

This is good. You know we do. Delta Airlines and Coca-Cola have teamed up to... Oh, wait. Hold on. Oh, yeah. They've teamed up to provide specialty napkins with designated space for passengers to write down their phone numbers to give to their plane crush.

Can you believe that? It's insane. Wait, I missed it. What? So they have napkins. You can write down your phone number and give it to somebody you think is hot on the plane. No. In an effort to compete with this promotion, Spirit Airlines has now announced for an extra $15,

they'll give you napkins. Damn, dude. Wait, this is for American Airlines? Delta. Delta is just trying for American Airlines? Delta. Delta's just trying to be a wingman now? Imagine any world where that works. Like if somebody writes their phone number on a napkin and gives it to me on an airplane, I'm yelling, Air Marshal, until somebody is dead.

Yeah, olly olly oxen free for that one. Wait a minute, this guy's phone number was just 911. Oh, I don't have any more for Opie. Opie, do you want to read my first joke over? I'll go. Donald Trump invoked the trail of tears in a tweet slamming Elizabeth Warren. Sources say he plans to drop a racist tweet about Kamala Harris as soon as he figures out what she is exactly. Your food's bad, I think.

Yeah. Wherever you're from smells weird. You probably do the poop out the window thing. Feather or dot. A woman was arrested for attacking a TSA worker with a knife at an Orlando airport. She was sentenced to hopefully being our dominatrix for the live show at the Geekies. Wow. What a plug.

Integrated branding content, guys. Branding great. Sentence isies. Wow. What a plug. Integrated branding content, guys. Branding great. Sentence is bad. Yes. Much like Ramsey's Alexa commercial. I mean, that was pretty well integrated. You were in an Alexa commercial? Yeah, I was in an Amazon commercial.

I wouldn't know where to find it if you guys were to look. I guess you could try to look up For the Love of My Show on YouTube, and it would maybe come part one through five. It might come up. But yeah, I was in an Amazon commercial. Yeah. Pretty good. But let's not make this about me.

Yeah. All right, guys. Ariana Grande actually got a tattoo on her hand in Japanese that says barbecue grill. When Pete Davidson saw the news, he said, I knew you were fucking that barbecue grill. She thought it said seven rings, like the name of her songs. And then all the Japanese people were like, yeah, that says barbecue. She's pretty great. Yeah, that's great.

All right, well, you guys want to call it there? We're all out of jokes. I think... Yeah. Yeah, so that was fun. We'll be right back with the game and some more shenanigans right after this, everybody. And now, Liam Neeson makes a weirdly timed confession. I had a friend many years ago, and I went away for a time, and when I came back, she told me she'd been raped.

I asked, did she know who it was? She said no. What color were they? She said it was a black person. I've gone up and down areas with a cosh, hoping I'd be approached by somebody. I'm ashamed to say that, and I did it for maybe a week, hoping some black bastard would come out of a pub and have a code me about something, you know, so I'd be approached by somebody. I'm ashamed to say that, and I did it for maybe a week, hoping some black bastard would come out of a pub and have a code me about something, you know, so I could kill him. Oh, okay.

Well, this is Burger King, so welcome to Burger King. Can I take your order? Yes. I'll have a Whopper. That was Liam Neeson making a weirdly timed confession. The Mean Boys podcast is brought to you by Himalaya. Ooh, I love Himalaya. This is the flimsiest premise for a bit.

Do your Mr. Ear. You know what's real flimsy? Here's what I love is that knowing that you have a violent stomach ache and still have to do Mr. Ear right now. You know what's real flimsy? An ear. But not with the part you hear with. And that part loves Himalaya podcasting app. Yeah?

Yeah. Yep. This is Tom trying to sell out. This is what Tom's trying to be marketable and relatable with. This is what the people want. Tell them more about the Himalaya podcasting app, Tom. Well, sometimes I want to listen to a podcast. Yeah?

It's Mr. Ear, by the way. Oh, sorry. Mr. Senior Eero. a podcast. It's Mr. Ear, by the way. Oh, sorry. Mr. Senor Eero. Fucking tell me what's up. Senor Eero is my father. Sometimes you probably can't even hear me. I just found out Mr. Ear is half Mexican. Wow, what a fun surprise.

Ears are in all shapes and colors. And you... Really? One shape? Yeah. Ear shaped? I mean, there's a little variety. Who got a fucking rhombus on their head?

I mean, sometimes the lobes are attached, sometimes they're not. But I would say most ears look like an ear. Anyway, ignore the haters with your ears. Does Mr. Ear eat cauliflower? Yeah, what is it? Himalaya podcast. Oh, no, I got cauliflower meat. We've conveyed zero information about the Himalaya podcasting apps of ours. It's got a great interface.

Cool. You know I love faces. Hey, Mr. Here, tell me what an interface is. It's the format of the app. That's actually a pretty... Yeah, I'll give it to you. You lucked out, Mr. Here. You can do really cool things that other apps can't.

Like make cool playlists. You know in the action movie where you barely lay on the motorcycle on the other side of the bridge you jumped? That's what you just did with explaining something. Springfield Gorge. That was you spun out a little bit on the other side but you pulled it off. Oh I know about anything hearing and I hear me now

when I say Himalaya is great. Tip jar they got playlists they got a bunch of stuff they don't have on other shitty podcasting apps. And if I may say, hear, hear. Hear, hear for ear, ear. Oh, his ears do that. Yeah. Yeah, you dumb bitch.

Himalaya. I'm saying your ear. I just got a hard core. Your fiery Latin passion runs deep, Mr. Ear. Himalaya is truly awesome. This is like a one below 12 ounce mouse on Adult Swim in terms of what is happening here. Somebody is paying for this. Oh, yeah.

Somebody's stupid. Himalaya, the smartest sponsor is happening. I've started listening to all of my podcasts on Himalaya. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good. No, it really is a good app. It's very easy.

We charted on Himalaya. We did. Yeah. Wow. Dude fucking. Mr. Ear, it really is a good app. It's very easy. We charted on Himalaya. We did. Yeah. Wow. Dude fucking, Mr. Ear got us on the charts higher than we've ever been on iTunes. Yeah. So swing on over to Himalaya if you don't already have it. Take a look around.

It's a real good app. We're being dumb right now, but it actually is very cool. I'm being smart because I've been listening with Himalaya. There you go. And you can drop that at any point. Go download it now. Give me boys a follow. Back to the show.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Mean Boys podcast is back. Just a quick reminder, we are going on tour. That's right, everybody. The 22nd of February, we'll be in San Diego at the Madhouse. I think one OPM Eola Baja may be joining us. We will see. Yeah, if I can get off work, I'm down for it. Oh, yeah.

Fucking humble brag. And then we're going to Houston. You don't know where I work. Austin. Jollibee. Joll to Houston. I don't know where I work. Austin. Jollibee. I don't know. Filipino Chick-fil-A. Yes.

Chick-fil-Asian. God damn it. That's great. Extra Polynesian sauce. Pretty good. Chick-fil-A or you're kicked out of the house. Gay marriage is extra not welcome here. Straightest place to eat chicken in the world.

Yeah, I'll have a number five with a baby girl. We're going to Houston, Austin, Dallas, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Nashville, Jacksonville, Orlando, Atlanta, and a new show just added in Cincinnati. April 4th, Cincinnati at the Motormouth Bar. Yeah. 4-2? 4-2. 4-2, dog. the Motormouth Bar. Yeah. 4-2? 4-2. 4-2, dawg. When it's 0 p.m.,

it's going to be wild, dude. It only happens once a year. Dude, that's fun. Cincinnati, have you guys ever done Cincinnati before? No, I haven't. It's a fun place.

It's a fun place. We haven't done most of these cities. Yeah, this is our first time, so grab tickets to meboyspodcast.com. They're all on sale now, and I really can't stress to you guys enough how much you have to come or we'll kill ourselves.

Yeah, like for real, now is a great time to buy these tickets. Some of you are, and that's great. More of you need to. Yeah, that would really make me feel good. You're probably like, oh, we'll get the tickets when we go there, and it's not a big deal. Just buy the tickets now. Yeah, it's cheaper. It's cheaper.

How do you like that? It's more money. All right, we're Just buy the tickets now. Yeah, it's cheaper. It's cheaper. How do you like that? It's more money. All right, we're back after the recorder broke. Yeah. Guys, so yeah, I guess we're doing something about how I'll fuck you if you come to the tour. If you look like you're into anime. I don't know, man.

Or you look like anything. Just any person can have sex with Connor. You don't even have to ask him because we're telling you now. It's a new fucking perk. Yeah. I've bailed on a lot of hookups. I'm getting into being vulsal, guys. You know, I just want to...

It's just, I can't... What Digimon is that? Do you guys ever meet these people who are... Is it a dinosaur with lightning? I used to meet these people that were like weird anime hipsters about Digimon where they'd be like, oh, Digimon is so much better than Pokemon

yeah I remember those fucking nerds I like Digimon more than Pokemon guys my stomach seriously hurts I don't know

what's happening wait what like really bad yeah okay alright yeah but yeah fuck Digimon

what man that's the most mean bullshit hey you guys I think I'm dying of internal parasites Also did you My eyes bad

No no no no I had this happen Last night Where I had a really Bad stomach Yeah What'd you eat When

When's the last time You ate Last night Okay That's probably Your stomach hurts What'd you eat Calamari from a

Asian place Okay so Let me do a little bit No Yeah it's probably The fucking octopus In your guts, dude. Probably. But that's squid.

Did you swallow any cartoon animals recently? Might have had something to do with it. Did you eat anything made of arms? That might be your problem. Yeah, you ate something with eight fists. You dumb shit. Eight fists? What do you think an octopus looks like?

It was, yeah, it was. Well, the Digimon, of course. Like a Machamp riding on another Machamp. No, it was good. It was one of those Asian restaurants where they don't have English. Oh, one of those. You mean where they have Ingress. Oh, God.

Oh, oh, oh. Ram, take that to Compound Media. Take that back to Jari B. All right. Dude, no, I fucking. Jari B. There's this Asian restaurant in my hometown where they fucking on the tip jar, it says thank gracias, which I love.

Like, that's a good expression. Oh, thank gracias. It is my favorite part. It's like, there was also, I remember like a Mexican place by my house where it just said wheat pant instead of wet paint. I loved it. It's said, Wheat Pant instead of Wet Paint. I loved it. Wheat Pant. I'm not saying they have to leave the country,

but it'd be nice. Anyways, go ahead. Oh, yeah. So this week we got a game of Price Check, one of our favorite games on the show. Concept of this game is simple. I give you two things. You have to tell me which one costs more.

We'll start this one here. Do you guys know what the Shroud of Turin is? Yeah. What's that? The Shroud of Turin. It was the burial shroud they put on top of Jesus, and when he came back to life, the ghostly magic put his silhouette on the... Yeah, so it was... It's not like some Digimon or something.

Vapes. Smoke was coming out of his mouth. Yeah. He didn't even take a vape rip. It's just a thing that you can only explain through a lot of raspberry nonsense. You know, I gotta disrespect Christ when I can. It was believed to be the burial shroud of Christ. It's been in museums forever, but they found out through carbon dating it was made in the 1300s.

Still like an important relic. So which one is worth more, the Shroud of Turin or the Nike Air Yeezy 2 SP Red Octobers? Well, those are worth about $6,500, and the Shroud of Turin is definitely worth more. I just looked at my list today. They're worth $7,000. You both Googled it. I was them yesterday. They're worth $7,000. You both Googled these shoes today? I was pretty close. Well, I just think, you know, it's sort of like, you know,

like if you had like a bar of gold in Fort Knox as like a store of value, that's kind of what the air Yeezy Red October is for sneaker. I'm sorry. I'm confused. Holds its value. Which savior wore these shoes? Why are they important? Yeah, it's Jesus V. Well, it's the last shoe of the kind you did with Nike.

They're famously referenced in the song Hold My Liquor. And he wore them in a number of notable appearances throughout his career. And it's a very stylish tennis shoe. Hold My Liquor, the only reason I know that song is because Bon Iver was in it. Oh, yes. I forgot he's all over that fucking album. I thought it was pronounced Bone-Iver for a long time. That's fair.

Bone-Iver? Bone-iver? Bone-iver. You guys know that breakup song by Bone-iver? And then people were like, no, it's Bonnie-ver. I thought you said bone-diver at first, and that seems like a weird snort for gay people. Get a load of this fucking bone-diver over here. He's like the MILF hunter, but he's goth. Coincidentally, I was earlier today looking up the value of the Shroud of Christ.

What is it called? The Shroud of Turin. The Shroud of Turin. And I think it is actually worth less than the shoes. Okay. Okay, so we're going shoes. Dude, could you imagine an outfit where you're wearing that and the Yeezys? Oh, you're wearing the Shroud of Turin cape with the Yeezys?

Wow. God, that would be such a flex. I think the Air Platinums would go better with the Shroud of Turin. I'm going to go with Shroud. You're going Shroud. I'm going Shrew. Bear in mind, I got different information than you guys did,

so maybe your price is more up to date. Shroud of Turin worth $4,730. The Nike Air Yeezy Red October is $11,400. We should go half on the Shroud. We could buy the Shroud of Turin. Who's selling it? $11,400. We should go half on the shroud. We should. We could buy the shroud at Dora. I would buy the shroud. Who's selling it?

Oh, you're wearing some. I don't think they're selling it, but that's like what the museum has appraised. Oh, that's nice. You're wearing some Supreme, some Palace. Me, I'm wearing the burial shroud of your one true savior. I got ketchup on it. I didn't really care. I want to wear Jesus' shoes, which were just nails towards the end. Oh, that's really fucking funny, dude.

Do these come in wide sizes? All right. I didn't know. Sorry. It's so funny. I just imagined Jesus in a footlocker like, where can I get these nails? Do you have the high tops? The other day I made Keith try on the-

Do the bleeding nail wound sketches. I made Keith try on the Yeezys the other day. It's pretty funny watching Keith wear... It just doesn't fit at all. No, it feels real weird, but they're very comfortable. Who photoshopped Kirby? Who did? He would look like a genie.

Oh, I look retarded. Oh, yes. You should wear them for the rest of the show, in my opinion. I genuinely can't tell you what Yeezys look like. I don't know what they look like. Something like this. Those are the good ones. Those are the Wave Runners.

This is my favorite tennis shoe ever made. This is a beautiful tennis shoe. I'm going to cop the Versace two-chain shoes. Oh, you are? Yeah, the chain reactions. Dude, I guess it's on you. You brought up shoes. I know.

I didn't think it would turn into this. I know a guy in MacArthur Park who could probably make those for you if you want for a little cheaper. Let me know, dude. Oh, yeah. Is it actual two-chains? No, he's like an El Salvadorian guy want for a little cheaper. Let me know, dude. Oh, yeah. Is it an actual two chains? No, he's like an El Salvadorian guy, but he's... His name is two... His name is...

His name is one chain. His name is two chins, and he gets it done. All right, this one, I did a shitload of math to figure this one out. Which one is worth more, Courtney Love's net worth or the street value of Courtney Love's body weight and heroin? Ooh. Wow. So Courtney Love weighs about 115 pounds. Is that... That's a lot of heroin. That's body weight and heroin. Courtney Love weighs about 115 pounds.

I can tell you how much she weighs according to my estimate, if that helps. 122 pounds. Any of that heroin cut with fentanyl? I didn't actually buy the heroin. I'm going average prices based on the research I did. Alright, so what? A gram of heroin is about 100 bucks.

So, you know, how many grams in a pound? A billion? I don't know. Does heroin come in... A gram of heroin is less than $100. Is it? Okay. It depends on the heroin.

I understand the pill form, but I don't understand how heroin comes other than pill. Does it come out of the ass? It's like a powder, yeah. It's a powder. It's a powder, and you melt it up, and you smoke it. You melt it, and you put it in your vein. Yeah, you shoot it, you smoke it.

My brother's a heroin addict. We never got into it. Right. You know what I mean? He just... Can we call him up as a lifeline? I mean, really. I'd be like,

hey, do you have some right now? Yeah, Regis, can I phone an enemy? Can I phone... I'm with Courtney right now. I can never get on the phone. Every time I call my brother, he's always in a tragic location

in the Midwest. And I'll be like, hey, what are you doing right now? And he'll be like, I'm living in this barn in Iowa right now. Yeah. I'm in Akron trying to figure it all out. And I'll be like, hey, what are you doing right now? And he'll be like, I'm living in this barn in Iowa right now. I'm in Akron trying to figure it all out. I'm in a Palestine, Oklahoma.

You should have called our tour the Randy's Brother location tour. I think I sent you a picture when I went through Palestine, Oklahoma. You did, yeah. I was like, you got it, dude. The homeland's here. And guess what? You have a Chevron and a Valero. Congratulations.

God, it's a worst state solution. I love Valero. The land of milk and honey because they only sell really old candy. This horrible town. Abba Zabba's. I've often said this. Milk and honey. You know, promise to the Israelites.

Have you ever seen a more lactose intolerant group of people? That's a good joke, right? That is a great joke. That's like a Greg Giraldo joke. How many grams are in a pound? There's 454 grams in a pound. Oh, okay. Then it's the heroin. It's the heroin. a pound? There's 454 grams in a pound. Oh, okay. Then it's the heroin.

It's the heroin. Yeah, I go with the body weight, the heroin. But she gets all the residuals from... I'm going to go with Courtney Love. We got one for Courtney Love, two for heroin. Three for the money, four to go. This is a great one, by the way. She's got all these books she's written and all these shitty albums she's put out.

But she's stunted on heroin. I think she's got her net worth. She gets residuals. Does she's stunted on heroin. I think she's got her net worth. Well, and she gets residuals. Does she? Yeah. I think. I'm going to stick with the heroin. I've never been more torn on any of these questions,

but I'm going to go with her net worth. Courtney Love's net worth, $150 million. Are you fucking kidding me? The street value of Courtney Love's body weight and heroin, $11.1 million. Oh, man. That was such a... I love that fucking question.

Thanks, man. $150 million? That's what she's worth, dude. She has to be getting Nirvana residuals. She is. I told you. Yeah. I was reading the reviews for my conspiracy podcast, and they're like, these guys are

sexist because they think Courtney Love killed Kurt Cobain. I was like... It's not our fault she did that. I'm not happy that anybody's dead either. And also, I'm not fucking, did I say, here's her address, go get her. I was making fun of her.

I made some phone calls to fact check this one this morning. Which one costs more? One month's rent at the Pacquiao Palace or one month's stay at the Eldorado Motel in Anaheim where I lived as a child. I actually I know the Eldorado.

Just to give a little context to the listener it's an aggressively heroine-y motel. They made a documentary on HBO called Motel Kids of Orange County and they filmed it at the motel I lived in. What part of Anaheim? It's like Anaheim, Buena Park adjacent. Okay.

Like Beach and Lincoln. Seems like we're getting in the weeds, but that's an important point. No, it absolutely is. Beach and Lincoln. Well, close enough to know where Disneyland is, far enough from Disneyland to be definitely not Disneyland. It's not adjacent, not Disneyland. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah. It's interesting because Anaheim is such a funny city. It's like on one border, it's Mexican gangbangers. You're in the wrong part of town, Joe. This is going to be the tone of the place. I called them this morning because they don't have their rates listed online. They're the only motels.

I called them and I'm like, how much for a room for a night? And they're like, well, have you stayed with us before? Which had the tone of, are you a cop? That part of Buena Park or that part of Anaheim, I knew a guy named Possum who was a tax collector. And I kid you not, I kid you not, every time I go to Possum's Facebook today, to this day, every other time, it's one of two stories that's going on in his life. He either got stabbed or he is having a kid. One of those two things keeps happening to Possum. He got stabbed or he did some stabbing.

I mean, he goes in, he goes out, he picks himself up. Which one seems more upsetting to you? It really is upsetting. A man named Possum should not be creating more of him. It's so upsetting.

Do the kids hang on like a real possum? Yeah. He's got like one of those like, he didn't actually get stabbed, he's just playing dead. True story,

that's so fucking funny. He was in a coma for like two months or something. Because he got stabbed in the head and I never thought of that joke. How do you get stabbed in the head? That's such a hard place to stab somebody. You don't really want to stab a guy.

You want to stab him in the head. Possum had enemies. You got to say hold still. You know, exterminators, raccoons. What's his real name? Rosemary Kennedy? That's a weird one. The problem was it was just easy to snap possums.

All you had to do was flash a flashlight in his eyes. What about the El Dorado Hotel, if not the Grey Gardens of Buena Park? Yeah, dude. My fucking neighbors used to go hunt possums with lawn darts. I'm going to go Pacquiao Palace. Okay. Yeah, I'd say Pacquiao Palace as well. Okay.

Oh, it's Pacquiao Palace, unfortunately. I think a month at El Dorado. How do you do the math? I can assume what this motel costs all night. What do you think it costs all night? He's got enough casino hats. I'm guessing this motel is somewhere between $35 and $50. You're underselling it.

$69 a night, plus you have to pay a $10 deposit. Oh, my God. Just for the first night, which is nothing. That says you are here to fuck a hooker. One month's rent at the Packing Up House, $2,500. One month's stay at the El Dorado Motel, $2,080. Do what's funny about a $10 deposit. It just means anything in this room can be replaced with a $10 bill.

That also means since I was nine years old living in a heroin motel, I have made a come up of $420 worth of living situation. A lot of hookers in that motel? Yeah. The ironing board is a dead guy. She's a skeleton. Yeah. All right. And this is the last one. Did I put a lot of hookers in that motel? Oh, yeah. The ironing board is a dead guy, so. Is she the skeleton? Yeah. All right, and this is the last one.

Little context here. You guys know about Precious Moments, right? Like the brand. Yes. They do like those big eye, like sad. She's the black girl from that movie. It's like, they're like, they're Funko Pops for old white people. Yeah, they're like statues of like little kids with like big eyes.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You see them on like greeting cards and stuff. And they're like, sometimes they'll have wings and shit like that. Yeah, they're like statues of little kids with big eyes. Oh, yeah, yeah. You see them on greeting cards and stuff. And they sometimes have wings and shit like that. Yeah, they brand a lot of stuff. Moments is a fat word. Go ahead. Go ahead. Explain.

There's just a lot of O in there. There's one. Moments? There's exactly one O. It's a big O. What really bums me out is whenever I go to a terrible road gig town and I'm driving through the gas stations, they sell those figurines at the gas station. And it's like, how fucking sad is your life?

It's like, I just want to think about something beautiful for once, you know, in Miami, Oklahoma. I want to take a little piece of joy home and look at it on the shelf of my trailer park. It breaks my fucking heart. You picture it just falling off a dashboard. Oh, God, yeah. Well, if you think that's sad, strap in,

because one of the things, this is true, that Precious Moments actually brands are child coffins. What? There are Precious Moments child coffins. They have a picture of a Precious Moments angel on the inside of the lid. Now, here's the thing. They have separated the angels out by gender

and by race. So which one costs more? A Precious Moments Caucasian child's coffin or a Precious Moments African American child's coffin? This is a tragedy. Why are they broken down by race? The African-American. Because you either get the black angel or the white angel. Oh.

African-American for sure. Okay. Because. They make less of them. No, they make more of them because more black people are going to kill. And it's also like more black kids are going to kill and they're going to upcharge the black kids. Right. They're going to upcharge the black kids.

Well, I guess I'm just wondering. I think that's where the racism is. I'm just wondering what – that's the great part about this, trying to figure out where the racism is. The racism, I feel like, lies in, like, we're going to charge black people more because they're going to die more. Nice. Supply and demand. Well, but supply and demand would – I guess – tell me if I'm off base here, but I've just never felt like black folks were that into ceramics.

We're not. We're not. But that's why. I just feel like that's not really... They could not make them. Because if they don't make them, it's racist. There are also Hispanic ones and Asian ones. I feel like you make just like three of them to say you did it, and then they never sell.

That's kind of how I would figure it. So I would guess the white ones would be more expensive. I love the idea of someone getting that to a gift to like a grieving mother, and they get the wrong ones would be more expensive. I love the idea of someone getting that to a gift to a grieving mother, and they get the wrong race and gender in there. That's the last time I buy a coffin on Wish. What differentiates the racial thing? Is it just the color of the angel?

The angel is black versus the angel is white. The angel makes way more money. The white angel's wearing the Gucci suits. Trattatour and the fucking Yeezus. And then the Black Angel just has like a fucking pro club gas station hoodie. Man, this is tough. This is a tough one. The Black Angel's also wearing like a R.I.P. shirt.

Like my big homie. He's wearing a shirt with his own airbrushed on it. It's all homies figurines he bought it at the gas station in heaven I you know I'm pouring out a 40

for his last one I can't see how the white one is cheaper than the black one I'm gonna go with the white one's more expensive I'm going with the

black one man Tommy thoughts oh yeah man I had the joke on the Martin Luther King it was the Martin Luther King roast on the Netflix show and I had my fucking joke I

love. So it's all these black history icons, and it says, man, I haven't seen you guys all in one place since I bought that T-shirt at the car wash. I think the white one works. That's so funny. Man, I'm good sometimes. I just don't think, I feel like, and I could be wrong here. I feel like, yeah, you said black people don't like ceramics.

And I bet they... And I feel like they may have like... I didn't say that, by the way. This is up there with Ramsey's I've never seen a black guy drink an energy drink. I have not, to this day. I've never seen a black... I don't even see black dudes drinking coffee. I think you guys are just energized.

Well, OP runs on pure sexual energy, which is like a Red Bull made of cum. Maybe they have like a... I feel like they have a surplus. Maybe they get buy two black coffins and get one white one free kind of thing. I wouldn't say you've never drank an energy drink, but it doesn't happen every day. You know what I mean? No, it doesn't.

Every once in a while, OP would drink a green tea, and he'd be like, I gotta stay awake. Is there a tea I can drink? I'm like, no. I'm gonna go... I think stay white. Do you guys, is there a tea I can drink? I'm like, yeah. I'm gonna go, I think the white one's more expensive just because more people are gonna buy,

I feel like. You said white too? I did say white, yeah. I'm gonna be honest with you, they're both the same price, I just wanted to see what would happen. Nice.

Damn, dude. $1,357.95. Wow. Well, that's fucking good for you, Precious Moments. I feel like the black ones should cost me. How long would you say Starbucks has been popular?

I don't know where this is going. Hang on. I'll say since like 1995. 1995. Okay, here's how few black people go into Starbucks to drink coffee. It took till 2018 for the first racial scandal to go down. That's a long time. Right.

That's my argument. Black dudes don't go down. That's a long time. Right. That's my argument. Black dudes don't drink coffee. This is a bad argument. All right. Interesting. Maybe they like coffee bean. I don't know. I don't know.

Do black people like coffee? Look, I've never. My sister's drink coffee a shit ton. My thing is just that I feel like there's a lot of racial incidents that happen at Starbucks, but that was the first one I got caught on. Hello, I'm a black guy. I'm at Starbucks. Do I want sugar or cream? No, I'll just take it from me. I've seen black people in Starbucks.

I've never let a lack of facts prevent me from holding an opinion. I'm just going to say that. That's my opinion. Man, what a fun show for Opie this has been. I'm sorry, man. No, it's fine. He's the most successful out of all of us. What are you talking about?

He can afford so many baby coffins. Oh, I remember. Today's my seven-year comedy anniversary. Hey, congrats, buddy. Oh, yeah, happy birthday. Which means only three more years until a bunch of bad comedians I don't respect will say I found my voice. I'm like, oh, yeah, not until ten years. I'm like, oh yeah, not until ten years. I'm like, I'll fucking kill you.

You idiot. All right, we'll be right back with your questions in the mailbag right after this. And now, Liam Neeson makes another weirdly timed confession. At night, I'd go back to my flat, and I would think about how it would feel to take a cudgel to the back of a black man's skull, any black bastard, for what he had done to my friend. And I confess, and this is true, the thought of it engorged me. I would pleasure myself to the thought of him begging for mercy.

As I imagined the light leaving his eyes, I would have earth-shattering orgasms, orgasms the likes of which I've not had since. Hey man, like I said before, this is Burger King. I'm not qualified to deal with any of this, and I'm not sure why you came back here. Did you need something else? Yes, I'd like to file a complaint. My Whopper is overcooked.

I don't know that that's true, Mr. Neeson. I cooked it myself, and I think it's perfect. It's not, though. Are you calling me a fucking liar? No, I'm merely saying... Listen here, if you take the Whopper and eat it, I will not pursue you. I will not look for you. But if you do not, please understand, I have a particular set of grills.

Oh, like the movie I did. Ah, that's very clever. End of sketch. That was Liam Neeson Makes Another Weirdly Timed Confession. All right, everybody. Mean Boys podcast is back. It's time to answer your questions, listen to your voicemails, all that shit and more in the Mean Boys mailbag. It's the Mean Boys mailbag.

Fuck everything. God is dead. Send us an email or give us a call. Have you ever heard the one about Keith and the dog? It's the motherfucking Mean Boys Mailbag. That's where we got to. You guys heard our jingle? We got a jingle.

We got a fucking nice jingle. It's the Mean Boys Mailbag. Fuck everything. God is dead. You sound like Eddie Vedder falling down stairs. Man, man, man, man, Keith and the dog. Did you ever hear about Keith and the dog? It's the motherfucking mean boy's

mail bag that was a great use of everyone's time if I had to describe what happened right now it's crazy Tom's been working on that song

for 20 days his new Bob Dylan album is pretty good this is a fun one for Ramsey like Earl Pelt death to the filth as Ramsey

if you did stand up in Palestine what would your routine consist of oh that's so interesting if I did stand-up in Palestine, what would your routine consist of? Oh, that's so interesting. If I did stand-up in Palestine... A lot of running. I get that the filth is a transgender woman, so I've got to figure

she wouldn't be around long enough to see the act. Yeah, I get that. We're presupposing that the Palestinians have got it together enough to build a stage somewhere. I think my act wouldn't change all that much. Your roommates are hard. Israel just built a new stage.

But we built it. No, you didn't. You know, that's a great question. I'm going to have to think about it. And I can't give you a great... You know, Palestine's a lot like the lineup at the Laugh Factory. And Israel's Dane Cook. You know what I mean?

They come through and they just take it all. Yeah, another question for you. Are our vape rights currently in danger? Oh, currently? Well, listen, the state of vape rights right now is really something that we should all, as Americans, be monitoring. Because as a minority group, we are the first that people usually go after. We are, yeah. And what we have to do is organize.

If you do go to Vapedaily.com, which is a website that I do go to frequently. Daily. Vapedaily. Daily updates on vape rights. There is a news publication called Vapedaily, and you can read up about a lot of the injustices that are going on right now. They're recently saying – they're saying – now you're probably shaking your head right now at me. But they're saying you cannot vape in an airport bathroom. That's a law.

You can't do anything in an airport bathroom. That's a fair point, dude. That's a fair point. Rams is tapping his foot trying to store some juice. There was a story about a guy who was vaping and then the vape exploded in his face and killed him. That is true. And that had nothing to do with the vape. It does.

I felt really bad for the guy. Vapes don't kill people. People kill people. If you read the article, he seemed like a perfectly nice guy. He was just hunting wabbits. Guns are controlled by the Second Amendment. Vapes are controlled by the 311th Amendment. True story.

I was asked to stop vaping at a Ralph's the other day. Wow. You shouldn't be doing that. How do you pick vegetables? I'll tell you what I do. Not by blowing weird chemical fruit at them. Isn't vape rights compound media's cover slogan? Damn.

Half court God. Half court God. Yeah, dude. I heard the guys from fucking Million Dollar Extreme gave $10,000 to the vape lobby. There's a big power play going on right now. So you guys know what the 510 universal threads are. I'm sure I don't got to tell you what the threads are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Dr. Strange theory. You ever notice how vapes – well, guys, this is – okay. Hey, Opie, you see the new Air Max 270s? What are your thoughts? Let's make this the worst podcast. We'll talk about, I don't know, this is – okay. This is going to – Hey, Opie, you see the new Air Max 270s? What are your thoughts? Let's make this the worst podcast. I want to talk about, I don't know, burritos or something. No, hold on. This is going to shake your salt shakers.

Listen to this. Get the fuck out of my house. There's a company in Arizona that just purchased the rights to the Universal 510 thread, which originally came from China, right? The patent trolls are vaping. So essentially that's what's going to happen. Yeah. You see where it's going. Yeah, I do.

I'm so bummed at what a serious answer this was. Yeah, guys, you know what? First they came for the vapors. And we all said, that's fine. We all said, thank you. You're going to take these shoes while you're here. I'm not coming to the rally when they try to take all the lead out of your favorite foods, you fat piece of shit. I'm not wearing my pussy hat to your little get-together.

As soon as they try to take the lemon-lime fucking chemical salt out of your fucking battery-acid Funyuns that you enjoy so much. Because you know what? Me and Ramsey, we're just trying to give ourselves space cancer and peace. Our bodies that we are born with. You know what? Me and Ramsey, we're just trying to give ourselves space cancer and peace. Our bodies that we are born with. You know what? Space cancer. That's why I'm declaring March vape history month. I'm 100% in.

You and me, we're doing it vape history. Our bodies, our choice. Your body, your choice. My body, my choice. You know, I really do think we should... Brothers, step on my back to reach the clouds. Heaven is on earth. Hey, hey.

Ho, ho. Fate-free zones have got to go. It should be my body, your inconvenience. If we're 20 feet around. My body, Opie's car. My body, Opie's car. Well, you look like you should have incense, so no one will question

the smell. I don't know if you guys, I remember I told you guys a story about that time I was outside of like a, I think it was like the Irvine Improv or something, and I was vaping and a security guard came up to me and told me I couldn't smoke. And I, of course, was like, I'm not smoking. This is scientifically not a cigarette cigarette so that rule

doesn't apply to me and he kept coming back to me and the last time he came back to me he had his hand on his taser and I thought to myself

if this guy tasers me it will unite this country alt-right for vape rights the left for freaking an unarmed brown dude getting tased I could save this country and it didn't happen, but you know.

Yeah, fucking red, black police showing out for the vape cop. But if you're getting in any sort of vape, sort of legal troubles, feel free to at me on Twitter. I have That mall cop had tased you, I would have been Blue Lives Matter right away. Right away.

No, I'm on Ramsey's side. Blueberry Lives Matter. Blueberry Lives Matter. God bless you. Wow, dude, on Ramsey's side. Blueberry lives matter. Blueberry lives matter. God bless you. Wow, dude. We got to start vape history, bud. March is vape history month. I'm serious, man.

I've given up on achieving anything with my life. Let's just double down on this. Absolutely. We got a lot more questions for you. Ramdog shows us the importance of seatbelts. Ask him how his snake rental enterprise is going. That proposal still blows my mind. The MyReptile guys has taken on a life of its own.

They call me periodically to see if I'm interested. And listen... If we can give a quick boilerplate to the listeners about what that was. So MyReptile guys is... And here's how you know it's a good idea. It takes a long time for me to explain it.

Every idea that I have... I've never signed up for an idea where it's like oh it's crystal clear you just do that all my ideas that i get on board with are like okay here's what you got to do you're gonna have to store 15 reptiles in your own bedroom but here's the thing yeah every you're gonna take some of those reptiles out to schools and teach kids about snakes yeah but if a snake bites a kid, you're liable for it. I didn't know that part. Yeah, I was liable. So you'll have an option to get on some insurance,

but listen, in no time, you'll kind of have your own small business. And I thought, that sounds great. As of now, I ask my girlfriend on a weekly basis if I could... That's anal for Ramsey. Please let me have a boa constrictor.

I love that you're getting involved with not only a crazy scheme, but it's one with just ancient. It's a shit that lives in a pyramid scheme. It absolutely is shit. Anything you see in hieroglyphics. Yeah, my reptile guys has on stock. In my studio apartment, I have a bucket of Egyptian animals. I went through all of this like there's like nice

like reptile storage cases and I legitimately was like trying to shower. I was like look it could be great. It could look really good in our living room. Imagine being a woman

and the man you love comes to you with this. With the good reptile storage cases. Implying he looked at the bad ones and thought the cost benefit is quite serious.

Yeah and Paige meanwhile has a pottery barn catalog and is just frowning, just like, what have I done? Paige slowly starting to realize maybe you did forget her birthday after all. Well, it's funny, too, because our careers are just inversing in such a hard way. She literally is, like, zooming upward and booking shit and, like, doing these late night sets, and every single one she's doing, I'm getting closer to getting a reptile. She literally is zooming upward and booking shit and doing these late night sets. And every single one she's doing, I'm getting closer to getting a reptile. I'm sitting home alone and fantasizing, what if I could afford all this rent by myself?

I could do it. Yeah. You know, Ramsey, I definitely don't relate very closely to what you're saying. So we've got some more questions. What would Amiibo's action figure line be like? What accessories would your figures have? Would there be a retail exclusive alternate figure? What extended universe characters would get their own figure?

Well, the Ramsay one comes with a vape and a snake. It comes with a vape and a snake. And then you push a button and a little steam comes out. And smoke comes out of both of them. You mix them up. All of a sudden you look, there's a kid playing with your vape. Then what if I... Wow, you just gave me such ape. Then what if I – Wow.

You just gave me such a good idea. No, I didn't. If I gave a snake to vape – I think you gave a good idea. I gave you the newest idea you've had. Yes. At Ramsey's funeral, I'm going to have a bagpipe that just has vape smoke coming out of it. It's going to play Danny Boy. A snake?

A snake just rolls. The clouds, the clouds are calling. The 21 vape salute. I like the idea of also at my wedding, a snake just slithers up and the guy goes, I know which side you're with. Let me just show you. He's wearing a tie. It's just half a seat. I've been trying to write a bit or something about a deli where when you take a number, you have to pull it off the owner's back.

It's a skin tag. All right. And someone wants to know, are you getting any more legally questionable things you've got kind of coming down the pipe? Any sort of loopholes you're trying to exploit? As I've explained to the mean boys. This is what I love. There's always an answer. It's never, I don't know, a little of this, a little of that.

It's like, well, specifically, did you know that tigers actually produce a pheromone? Which? As I explained to the mean Boys a few hours ago, I have just stopped paying all my credit cards. I have just stopped. And let me tell you, they are calling a lot. It is getting to be bothersome on my part, to be honest with you.

I blocked all their numbers. I keep getting emails saying, listen, we are sending you the final legal action here before we take this to court. And I am... Here's my plan. I'm going to pay them back someday. Listen, we are sending you the final legal action here before we take this to court. Here's my plan. I'm going to pay them back someday. That's what I'm going to do.

But for right now, I'm just going to keep ignoring them until they catch me. And I realize they can't really do anything to you. All they do is call you. Who gives a fuck? They could put you in jail. No, not for debt. Absolutely not. Dude, I was super in debt when I was younger.

I just let it all go to collection. Not like Ramsey. No, no, no. They cannot put you in debt. No, he had some medical debt. Absolutely not. No. Dude, I was super in debt when I was younger. I just let it all go to collection. Not like Ramsey. No, no, no. They cannot put you in debt. No, he had some medical debt. That was kind of a lie. No, but I had real debt, too. And it's like it just falls off after a certain amount of time. They cannot jail you for debt.

From your record. Yeah. Yeah. They can't jail you. You don't owe it to anybody. No, no, no. You still owe them money. If you don't pay them, they can't take it from you.

I promise you. This is what I love is unemployed guys arguing about the law. The government's pretty sure you can go to jail for great. I couldn't get a credit card for eight years. I have a credit card now. I can, but I don't want to. If I'm being honest with you. That's a fair point. It is way more entertaining.

This is pretty good radio. Your grandpa went to jail for collections? I think he... He took a bunch of loans. So maybe that's different. Well, yeah, there was a whole – he thought candy was money. Now, this proved to be problematic. They can't jail you for credit card debt.

They can't even do – they can get legal rulings against you. Yeah, it wasn't credit card debt. It was loans. Even a loan, I don't think they can get you for it. Then he gambled it away. I remember I owed so much money to Washington Mutual, and then when everything collapsed and they just stopped being a bank, I was just like, I'm still here. Wait, did you get out of all that debt when that happened? No, I got absorbed by somebody at like a city bank or some shit bottom.

Today you cannot go to prison, so Ramsey's right, for failing to pay for a civil debt like credit card, loan, or hospital bill. You can, however, be forced to go to jail if you don't pay your taxes or child support. I pay my taxes. I pay my child support. You pay your child support. For the reptiles? It's for a three-legged dog in Orange County that he adopted with his bandmates ten years ago.

Here's the thing. If you're a Mean Boys fan and you're listening and you have credit card debt, don't pay it because these guys are assholes. These guys are cocksuckers To me Just for the listeners in the courtroom I say hi

Ramsey's going for a Suzy Orman meets Jordan Peterson thing You don't have to clean your room When you live in a jail cell That's one thing I'm glad you brought up Suzy Orman Because I did see a video where she taught me how to settle credit card debt Here's what I'm going to do. Apparently, at a certain point, they'll hit you up and just go like, will you just pay anything?

Yes. In which case, I will go, here's $500 on a $12,000 loan. And honestly, it will work. It will work. And she even teaches you what to say so that it doesn't go on your record. You have to say some very specific language. But check her out. She's my girl.

I want a 4x4. It's like the secret manual, in and out. So, yeah, anyways. The Flying Dutchman. Ruin your credit. Who gives a shit? And if you want to know when you guys are going to be starting any podcasts or if you've got any new projects. Just come to the show.

Come to the show. February 26th. UCB Sunset. Upright Citizens Brigade. Amy Poehler is going to be there and the Mean Boys and Matt Walsh. Amy Poehler and the Mean Boys, guys. The guests are going to be the Mean Boys and all of Veep. So I hope you guys can make it. And I'm not kidding.

I'm going to get banned. I'm going to get banned. I look forward to going down and playing with you. Because guess what? We've got special DJ Kenny Lyon. Get out of here, everybody. All right, guys. We've got some voicemails here.

Hey, Mean Boys. Dean Denton here. Had a rough day. Just got laid off from my job. I know I'll bounce back, but I just wanted to commiserate with you. Fuck everything. God is dead. Now, here's the thing. I bet. See, but I just wanted to commiserate with you. Fuck everything. God is dead. Now, here's the thing.

I bet. See, that's the problem right there. You need to pray to God, and you'll get a job. Opie is the Opie religious. I'm not kidding. Opie just got hired to host a morning radio show in Atlanta, actually. See, that's the problem right there. Anyway, I'll be featuring for Steve Harvey tonight.

I would love to pay for it. Oh, my God. Opie has had such a good year that I'm legitimately being like, maybe I should believe in God. This seems to be working out okay for him. I know. It's really cruel irony. Yeah. I mean, I need you to fail.

Here's my upside on this one. He got laid off, which means you qualify for unemployment, which means fucking this is my dream. My dream has always been to get laid off. I've never qualified for unemployment. I got unemployment for my writing job, and I get like $52 a week. It's not that much money. Because it depends on how much you've put into the system. Yeah, that's true.

So it's a function of... So I'm assuming this person had a regular job where he put a bunch into the system. Yeah. Collect, man. Go fucking do some shit. Yeah, man. It sucks when you lose a job,

but you're going to find that... Get in touch with your artistic side and whatever thing you wanted to work on, work on that for a while. Yeah, that's really going to pay for all the food he needs. No, but he has unemployment. I like that we just assume he's an artist and not just a guy who liked having a job. Here's my tip. Oh, that too.

Here's my tip. Don't do stand up. Get your unemployment and then go through the Craigslist gigs section. Okay. Honestly, yes. i've done so much weird shit on that i've written porn on there i wrote a whole movie about doing beer bongs with the kennedys for a guy who worked at a car dealership i've done some weird shit it's all under the table so you won't get taxed and your unemployment won't be affected and you can

literally supplement your income and come back to basically having a regular income by working part time yeah yeah no ramsey you have you have this weird patchwork sort of financial system where it's like, well, look, I walk dogs on Thursdays. Yeah. Fridays, that's when I do the organ delivery. Yeah. And then Saturdays, you better believe that's the Color Me Mine internship. I am.

If you think I'm not donating plasma right now for $250 a month, I'm absolutely there. I've been fantasizing about donating my plasma for decades. Yeah, let's talk off air. We'll talk off air. I want to do this. I don't even really need the money. I just think it would be interesting. They give you a prepaid card and they just pay out on it.

It's pretty nice. I've been spending all my unemployment money on, I'm not kidding, sale beef jerky at CVS. I get like, they got bags of Crave. They got bags of Crave for like $3.47. I'm like, that's a fucking deal. Give me all of it. I'm clearing you out. Speaking of beef jerky, you were talking about gas stations when you were on the road earlier.

Is there anything, something about the local beef jerky that's always in there makes me sad. Oh, yeah. Like that's someone's life's work is making artisanal jerk. I got the best fucking jerky on a freeway you've never heard of. Yes, exactly. And his kids are just going to be like, yep, Sam's own. The number one beef jerker in Tehachapi. It's like Hollywood.

It's like number one industry is media, and then San Francisco, number one industry is tech. Everywhere in between seems to be a beef jerky based economy. God damn it. that's so funny. I'll trade you a cray for a Slim Jim. If Ramsey had just been born during when Tough Crowd was in its prime, we'd all be trying to work for him. But sadly, he's going to die. Yeah, very poor.

Hey, me boys. It's Sam from Milwaukee again. Two questions for you this week. First one's pretty quick. If you guys did have quote-unquote spice money, what kind of spice would each of you guys be buying? Oh, this is a reference to the fact that the only spice we have is the single mother's can of Lori's seasoning that I use forever. I put it on fruit. Me too.

I love that shit. It's fucking great. Yeah, yeah. That's like in terms of things that people have done for poverty, that's so much more than the welfare system. UNICEF has not done as much for poor people as lorries. I go with the garlic salt over the lorries. Similar concept. Yeah, no, I'm with you. Big bucket

of flavor adjacent. Yeah. Well, that's just because he hopes his mother doesn't come visit, and he's trying to just do all the diligence he can. I'm with you. I'm with you on the garlic salt. Seasoned salt, though, for me, I just... You know what it is? When I was a kid, you guys ever go to those, like, shitty... They're like burger places, but they always have, like, a Greek statue on the cups.. Seasoned salt, though, for me, I just... You know what it is? When I was a kid, did you guys ever go to those shitty... They're like burger places, but they always have a Greek

statue on the cups. I know, exactly. The Greek burger. It's a very Orange County thing. And it's a good-ass burger. They got a nice, thick, fresh tomato, you know? Yeah, you're going to like a Louie Burger or something like that. So those... Yes. Johnny's Jr. Yes. OC Chain. We got one in Chino.

Shout out to Super Chili Burger. There's these two Greek guys that look exactly the same and they go, hey, yo, a fucking burger. Eat it. They rock. They think they're in the Sopranos, but they're just dumb Greek guys that make their fucking burger monkeys. All their food is like covered in that seasoned salt.

I got programmed into me how much I get horny when I taste it. I used to eat a lot of seasoned salt when I was a kid. My stepdad had been to prison, so he would make us prison spread for dinner. You turn the Top Ramen into spaghetti, and you put mayo and tuna fish and crushed up Doritos and shit in there with seasoning salt. To the point that I didn't know that wasn't how you ate Top Ramen until I was no shit 19 years old.

Oh, shit. Like somebody was like, oh, are you making ramen? I'm like, yeah, I'll make you some. It was cool. I hand him this thing. He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Then I realized this is a cuisine made in a prison toilet. What?

I was about to turn your nose over my toilet cakes, you bougie bitch. I want to take your stepdad to Silver Lake Ramen and just be like, this is $43 just so you know, this bowl of ramen. See what you can do, buddy. Yeah, it's made in a toilet. It's called the East Side. Why don't we should do a food truck prison. Second question.

Do any of you guys have a movie or like piece of media or something that you hold dear to your heart, but it's just not very popular, doesn't get great critics, reviews? You know, it's just people generally don't like it, but you'll defend it till the day you die.

I love This Is America. One of my favorite things is the Peter A. Scher movie, by the way. It's called Siblings. I love This Is America. One of my favorite things is the Peter A. Scher movie, brother, with the siblings. I think sisters, siblings. Wait, what was that one? Yeah. Oh, he was saying what you thought about your sister.

I can kind of see why, but I love it. And there's not much to defend there, but I'll keep doing it until the day I die. Keep up the great work. Love every episode you guys have put out pretty recently. The one with Bender was great. Oh, thanks, buddy. Yeah, thanks for the meanie. Fuck everything.

God is dead. Hey, thanks for buying one, man. We're sold out, by the way. We're out of meanie. Wait, wait, wait. Quick question. What did he say about Sisters? Oh, he's talking about the Wachowski sisters made Speed Racer.

He actually messaged me and he said, I hope I didn't say the Wachowski thing wrong. And I'm like, you're fine. We know you meant it. Because they transitioned into the modern boy filmmakers. No, Speed Racer was actually going to be the one that I mentioned. I fucking love that movie. Oh, yeah? It's really good?

It's insane. I tried to watch it. I couldn't. Nathan Camp, friend of the show. It seems like you'd be into it. It's your kind of thing. I just didn't like it. First of all, they're sisters, okay?

It came out like eight years ahead of its time. It's doing Spider-Verse shit, but it's... Spider-Verse is better. But, like, it's a really fucking great movie. I tried to watch it recently, maybe like a month or two ago, and I was just like, I don't know, this isn't... The visuals are okay. Mine?

I think the visuals are insane. I also think it's like, I love a thing that just is, like, pretty unabashedly, like, hopeful. Yeah. I think the visuals are insane. I also think it's like, I love a thing that just is like pretty unabashedly hopeful. Yeah. I think it's very much that. It makes me want to follow my fucking dreams and shit. Yeah. Ooh.

I'm trying to think of media that I like that's not popular. The year is 1993, okay? Okay. This is a huge movie, and everybody shits on it, but I loved it, okay? John Leguizamo at his best. The best? Super Mario Bros. The movie. Dude dude i love that movie i love the super mario bros movie that movie's insane mojo nixon is toad why the fuck did that happen no they did so much what what

i loved about it was they did so much attempt to explain the mario universe yeah where they didn't need to they could have just had the. I've never been worried about the mythology. I'm not like, what, they made seven rings for the toads? I'm stepping on a fucking turtle. It's like that thing your stupid kid likes. Yeah, yeah. But they really tried to make it realistic. They're like, these are boots.

You put them on, and they make you jump high. And it's like, oh, come on. Well, it's also like none of it looks like Mario. It's not whimsical. It's like this horrible technological dystopia. It's the most 1993. It's like Blade Runner Mario. Yeah, it's exactly like whimsical and it's like this horrible like technological like dystopia it's it's the most like Blade Runner Mario yeah it's exactly what it is okay did you got to watch Dennis Hopper plays King Koopa but he's just like a sleazy politician whoa it's insane it sounds like Tank Girl which is fucking great it's very Tank Girl adjacent I re-watched Tank Girl with a

girl and she was like I showed you a movie why don't you show me a movie and I was like it's a fun action movie and I forgot there's 58 rape scenes in Tank Girl and I was like, I showed you a movie. Why don't you show me a movie? And I was like, it's a fun action movie. And I forgot there's 58 rape scenes in Tank Girl. And I was like, shit. Well, it's set in Australia. That's what they do there. I know. Every four minutes, she bites off a guy's dick who's holding her hot. And it's like all girl, but she gets out of him.

It's girl power-y. Yeah, but she's still about to do it. I'm like, oh, this is making me uncomfortable. No, I was just listening to the thing about the Super Mario Brothers movie where I guess John Leguizamo and Bob Hoskins hated making that movie, so they were just drunk for every day of shooting. They just got shithoused on set. Okay, this is how

bad the Super Mario Brothers movie is. It is a 14% on Rotten Tomatoes and the audience has it at 28%. So like, unanimous agreement. Have you guys really never seen this movie? Honestly, it might be worth it we bring Ramsey in doing a Mean Boys commentary on it. It's the most

insane fucking movie ever made. We will never finish that movie. I will pause it every eight seconds. I have so many thoughts on that movie. It's true lunacy. It's very fun. Yeah. I think of a movie. I feel like the one recently that I loved, but everyone was like, this is bad. It was Glass. I didn't see

it. I thought it was so good, but everyone was like, it's bad. This, to thought it was so good, but everyone was bad. I'm like, this to me was a fucking great way to end the trilogy. Look at this. And I know, put this stuff in the show notes, but look at this fucking poster of the Super Mario Bros. I mean, that's weird.

They just completely fucked the tone up of what the Super Mario Bros. were so badly. Also, one of them is Italian, and one of them is Puerto Rican. And also, the Italian is a British guy. What a super Bronx brothers. I'll do a quick plug, by the way. I'll jump on you with my Timbalands.

If you're enjoying any of this movie talk, they do a podcast over on Unpops called the Best Worst Movie Podcast. And I went on that and talked about how Batman Forever is the greatest piece of gay cinema ever made. So go listen to that if you haven't heard it. Oh, I love the new Baywatch movie. I didn't see that. Oh, with the rock?

We got it at the cutout in the window. It's so bad, but it's so fucking funny. I'm trying to think of what mine would be for movies. You like so many bad things. I mainly like bad movies, so I'm on board with this. I don't like good movies. I know they're there. I'm just...

The first G.I. Joe movie was pretty bad too But I liked it If I'm like flipping through channels And I see a movie that came out three years ago That nobody's ever heard of Because you can tell it's so bad I will watch it all the way through and I'll enjoy it You know what mine is?

Flavor Flav did like 30 episodes of a UPN sitcom Called Under One Roof And it was the greatest shit It had the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air rip-off theme song, where basically his brother crashed a car, and Flav went to jail to save him, but now he's got to live with his rich brother's payment. You've shown me this theme song like 20 times,

and it never stops being funny. I'll pull it up right now. It's fucking amazing. Why are you putting as bad as Homeboys and Outer Space? I haven't seen Homeboys and Outer Flav. I want to preface this with, I haven't seen Homeboys and Out of Flay and Out of Flay out of my bed. I want to preface this with I haven't seen this Yeah, boy!

Man, that was This was a good one. I want to show her. He ran for president of his class. I ran from college when they chased me. I ran from college

when they chased me. Everything's changed. You trashed the car. What year was this? Like 2010. This is UPN. This was in UPN. This 2010. This is UPN? This was in UPN? This couldn't have been UPN.

I don't remember what channel it was. It was like 13 on my dial or something like that. Maybe 13. It became the CW. Because WB and UPN merged. Yeah. I want to point out, too, real quick. Oh, my network TV.

Yeah, so I want to point out real quick. We have a bad habit of cutting Tom off, and it's happened a bunch of times really disrespectfully this episode, but none more egregious than Tom starting a sentence in the flavor play going, Yeah, boy! That's the most crystallized

version of a man desperately trying to get a sentence. Don't worry, Opie and Ramsey are texting. I'm pulling up media. I'm looking up the UPN. There was this show. I guess it was a bit racist.

There was a show on UPN that they had called The Secret Diary of Desmond Piffler. Piffler? I barely know. Piffler? I barely know. The whole show was these black people working on a plantation. What? It was a sitcom? It was like these black people working on a plantation. What? What?

It was a sitcom? It was like house niggas. That's what the whole show was. Whoa. I copyrighted that. I told me and Bill Maher. This was the poster. Yo.

Okay. And it lasted two episodes. Yo, we should do this. Yo, caveman on ABC got to four. You know you fucked up when caveman outran you. That's like Hitler

or my wife Hitler or whatever. Four episodes and then five are on air. Five are on air. We got to go break into the vaults, guys. We got to pull off.

I got to find out what happens to Piffler. Oh, dude. All right. So this, I think, is a follow-up from the guy who works in an Alabama trash yard. Oh, I forgot about Alabama Trash Man. Yeah.

Hi, mean boys. This is Rodney the Landfill Guy. Rodney the Landfill Guy. Trash, trash, trash, trash. Stink is a property of trash. You playing a joke. Rodney the Landfill Guy. Oh, sorry.

On my call to you, I was laughing on my call to you. I was laughing my ass off. Tom, we don't have the electric magnet crane. Those are at scrap yards. Our place is bring your trash in, throw it out, we push it in a hole and cover it with dirt.

Sorry, I was thinking of the Brave Little Coaster. Do you plan on putting your album out on vinyl? Because your first album, I bought it on vinyl, and I wanted to know if you were going to do it again. Absolutely not. Second question, would I be able to get y'all's autographs sent to me in my package? And last question, if either one of you had to die and you had to eat the other for survival, what side items would you have with each of them? I like this.

I thought for a second I was going, come on. But I go, okay, sides. God is dead. All right I go, okay, sides. Okay, Keith potato salad. It is very weird. Wait, is he asking what the side you would eat with Keith is, for example, or with me or whatever? Yeah, for Keith I'd eat potato salad. I just feel like it would balance everything.

And Connor, soup. Oh, just for an ironic sort of spite. I think you go with Connor. You got to go with something. Because Connor's going to be a very lean cut of meat. So you want like a nice like starchy kind of fatty thing. That's a fair point. Okay. When I eat Connor, I'll go with the side of Keith.

I go with a loaded baked potato with Connor. Straight whiskey with Tom. That's a good answer. Yeah, yeah. If I ate Opie, hmm, what would I – I guess a grapefruit, you know? A nice grapefruit. A side of maca powder? Oh, yeah, yeah. Just a bowl of maca.

I eat the mountain lion. If I ate Opie, I would crush up a bunch of zinc snacks and snort it. I go with that sneezy jerk chicken you always make. If I eat Ramsey, I also eat a Jewish guy. Just so even if i fight it out but you eat more of the jewish guy so he has more space yeah exactly i eat like a pound of jew and like three quarters of a pound of ramsey i miss ramsey's meals because i would come home at one in the morning and ramsey would be like like fucking bleary-eyed in the kitchen wearing workout shorts like making like you know when you see a hobo with the fish skeleton?

He'd just be putting the four cheapest sources of carbohydrates into a flour tortilla and then chewing it angrily while he told me what the government did that day. It was awesome. I'm glad that you brought this up. This actually kind of ties into another venture idea I have. Okay. Ramsey's Hobo Cooking.

It's a restaurant where I just cook you basically homeless people meals. Only hobo food, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to be completely honest. A couple weeks ago, I got a can of dolmades or dolmas or whatever, eating them with my hand out of the can. Then I ate a can of garbanzo beans out of a can with a spoon, and all I could think was Ramsey would be proud of me.

That might be why your stomach hurts. That was weeks ago. I also ate the can though. I know I've told this story on this podcast a million times. I ate a pound of nitroglycerin for farts. It's still my favorite thing ever. The one time Connor comes home and he just like walks by me and I literally just

have a giant spoonful of hummus and I'm eating it. I'm like, this is a little embarrassing. That as embarrassing as you eating buffalo wings out of coffee a giant spoonful of hummus and I'm eating it. I'm like, this is a little embarrassing. This is. Not as embarrassing as you eating buffalo wings out of coffee. What were those coffee things?

Oh, the coffee filters? You were eating. We didn't have plates. No, the best one is when I walked past Ramsey on the phone. He just didn't know where to wash them.

No, Ramsey's on the phone at two in the morning and it's a business call and he goes, this is a problem that's very specific to Saudi Arabia and we're going to sort it out. South Korea. South Korea.

South Korea has some pretty stringent laws when it comes to MasterCard. I'm going to sort this out for you first thing in the morning. I was like literally like Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I hung up. I remember like I hung up and Conor walked by me and I sighed of relief. I went, get it together, Ramsey. I know, dude. It was like, living

with you was like living with a very low-budget reality show. It was awesome. That whole week, it felt like the last days of Bernie Madoff, where I was like, this is closing in on me, man. I don't know what to do. I know. You always have a Seinfeld boss, where they're always doing some kind of weird scheme,

and you're just like, I gotta get Mr. Pitt his socks. You work for vague villains. I've up i'm i hit up is this extortion and this is a new a good mean boys segment is this extortion yeah uh we'll drop the jingle in i want to hit my boss up ka-ching i got hit up by a by uh by a reporter who wants to interview me about my old place of work and i want to hit up my boss and be like... Your husband used to work for the Fyre Festival. I worked for a place that made the Fyre Festival look like the fucking Vatican. Oh, there it is?

Although I guess that's pretty... Yeah, they're not great. And by that I mean... Okay, doesn't matter. Job, rule, fuck the kid. Anyway, continue. I'm thinking about just drafting a letter

to my boss and being like... Or my old boss and being like, if you want me to not say anything, I want 25 grand. Yeah, that's 100% extortion. That's extortion? That is. Textbook extortion.

Oh, okay. Okay, just checking. So what you would be doing there is extorting him, you see? Oh, what if I said this? Okay, hear me out. What if this is extortion? Okay. No, you like your freedom, and I like Bentleys now.

Two separate phone calls. Hear me out on this one. Okay. I call him and I go, hey, there's a guy, he's asking me, I'm doing an act out of a phone for those of you who are listening. I go, hey, there's a guy. He wants me to do an interview with him about you. And then I hang up the phone and then I call him again.

I go, can I have $25,000? Two separate requests. Here's the problem you're running into. It probably only costs about $10,000 to have you killed. Yeah. And by the way, I'll do it. And actually, I could do it for eight. Yeah.

If he offered me $10,000 to kill myself, I would do it And actually I could do it for eight Yeah If he offered me ten grand To kill myself I would do it I would absolutely do it Anybody out there If you have ten grand And you want to give it to me I'll kill myself for ten grand

Okay Go to gofundme.com Slash best idea And don't be selfish I'm going to kill myself Okay sorry No you got to My plan

Wait till my parents are dead Clean break Oh yeah That's what you got to do. No guilt. You can't do that to your parents. No, I could. I love them too much. But after that, I'm out.

It's... Oh, fucking... I did way too much of this shit. Let's load up 20K for Connor and I, okay? In a GoFundMe account. And we'll Bonnie and Clyde ourselves. We will kill ourselves. I love that our friend is involved.

If you give us $20,000, we'll vape in every public place of government until we are killed. We'll do a vape-in across city capitals all over America. You and me. If you and I don't do a vape-in in March. We'll rent a Camaro. We'll drive it across the country. Every day of March, we're doing one vape-related activity for the rights. Yeah.

We've got to go vape in just every important... At the Getty, you know. The fucking, the Rosewater Sparks, or Rosa Sparks. Yeah. That was an accident. We'll go do it

on Cosby's Star or the Walk of Fame. What? You gotta vape in the back of the bus. Everyone on the bus should be able to vape. Oh, man.

I think that's it for the show. Yeah, guys. So, very important. Now's not the time. UCB. February 26th, 830. Mean Boys are going to be there.

It's going to be fun. Hope is going to be there. The whole fucking squad, man. Everyone will be there. Also. This is like when the Wu-Tang gets back together and even Capadonna shows up. Yes. We got everybody.

All of us will be at a place where we are not welcome. We are not welcome at places. I've never been inside of the UCB sunset. If you're not familiar with the LA comedy world, UCB has a lot of very besweatered wieners trying to be as progressive and woke as possible. Absolutely. I love you, boy.

That's what makes my favorite Comptown subreddit comment, that we're just trying to be a UCB podcast even better, because I've never been in the building. I've never gone. I've never been booked on a show there. I've only done Tournament of Nerds. And even then, they barely seem to like me. Yeah.

So go see them there. Check us out. You guys got any dates to play? Obviously, we're going on tour. You guys already know. Yeah. Tickets are on sale now at MeanBoysPodcast.com. Yeah.

Get all those motherfucking tour dates. March 1st, I'm going to be headlining at the Stab Comedy Theater in Sacramento. March 2nd, I'm headlining. Stab? Stab! With an exclamation point. Yeah. Oh, man.

March 2nd, I'm at the Savage? Stab! With an exclamation point Oh man March 2nd I'm at the Savage Henry Comedy Club In Eureka, California March 5th I'm back in the trap At the Rose Battle Doing the Rose Battle Against Joe Urell

And then March 23rd Me and Connor Are doing stand up At the Stratosphere In Las Vegas Yeah that'll be fun And guys I gotta tell you

If you wanna watch me Not get the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival, the best time to do that, fucking February 25th at the Westside Comedy Theater. The 26th, the day after, I'm roast battling Nicole Buchanan at the Comedy Store. I haven't done a roast battle since we were nude on TV, so that'll be fun. And then, yeah, obviously the Mean Boys Tour, I'm going to be co-headlining the Ventura Harbor Comedy Club

the 19th and the 20th of April. Come, bring that loud, you know co-headlining the Ventura Harbor Comedy Club the 19th and the 20th of April. Come bring that loud. You know, bring me that good Ventura loud. Provide the loud. Ventura weed. It's called Speedboat Kush. And I'll be at Westside Comedy Theater again May 3rd. Tom, you got anything?

Yeah, I got a bunch of local dates. If you want to come see those, go to my social media. It's gossgoss6. I'll be at the Yukon Comedy Festival March 14th through 16th. So please come out. And now it's time for my favorite segment, the Passport Update. Is Yukon Alaska or Canada? That's Canada.

Oh, Canada. Yeah. Oh, the Passport. God, Dave. That'll be a segment on the bonus episode. There's been a lot of updates. Yeah. All of them frustrated.

We have a pitch for you. We register you as a service dog. All right. For yourself. I think we could do it. Yeah, the Third Amendment will allow that. Yeah. That's my favorite thing is to try to – I like –

Amendment 1, speech. Amendment 2, guns. Amendment 2, guns. Amendment 3, service is hard. I like that. It's America's priorities. Yeah, quartering soldiers and service dogs. Okay, wait. Which amendment is 3?

I've been trying to do this a bit about – I've been trying to do this a bit about how I missed my calling as a DUI bus stop attorney. And you know the kinds of – you know the attorneys that they just, their only qualification seems to be that they hate cops. Yes. Where they're like, hey, you see a cop, you fucking snot rocket in his face, okay? That is the third amendment. You can do whatever you want.

I'm attorney John Pigfucker. Also, every third Saturday of the month at Wino Vino in Los Angeles, I'm producing a new show that I'll be on every month and we have a bunch of really funny comics coming out, The Unwrapables,

at Wino Vino every third Saturday. So fucking, if you live in LA, come out to that. Yeah. All of the people in this room will be on it at some point.

And you can see all of Nat Bamel's great material about the Clinton impeachment. Yeah, Fred's meme. He's got some great Monica Lewinsky stuff. He's going to break out

for you guys. Me in front of the show Dad by Bell in Annabelle. Very groundbreaking stuff. Opie, you break out for you guys. Me in front of the show, Dad by Bell and Annabelle. Very groundbreaking stuff. Opie, you got anything you want to plug, man? No big dates. I got one college I'm going to do on the 20th of April. Oh, your birthday.

It'll be my birthday. I don't know if it's open to the public. If it is, I'll blast it out for Mean Boys fans. And I might do another show in Portland the next day. I'm not sure yet. What else are you thinking about? You guys?

Yeah, I might get some tacos later. I am actually going to get some burritos. If you guys are in the San Francisco Bay Area, San Diego,

Sacramento, I'm going to be out basically almost all of March. So go to my website ramsaybdowie.com and also you guys have you guys ever heard about YouTube? Yeah.

This thing is popping, dude. Whoa. Okay, go on. Subscribe to my YouTube channel. Yeah. It'll be on my website, RamseyBDiary.com. This thing, YouTube, is going to pop off. I feel it.

I feel like you're going to put a lot of content. Dude, you could put it – any video you guys want to put up on there, you could put it up for free. People can watch it. I have to pee so bad I'm in pain. Fair enough. Go to my YouTube, subscribe. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram, at RamsBad. Go to my YouTube channel, subscribe to that.

You don't want to put a video of Tom struggling to pee on your YouTube page? Ramsey, your whole vibe is like if a young Karl Rove was a Vine star. Get the fuck out of here so Tom doesn't piss on your bed. Allsey, your whole vibe is like if a young Karl Rove was a Vine star. Get the fuck out of here so Tom doesn't piss on your bed. All right, guys. Fuck everything. God is dead. God is dead. Bye.