Mean Boys - EP 19 - Ladyboy Clown Weirdos (feat. Omid Singh & Ramsey Badawi)

Episode Date: May 12, 2016

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys Follow this week’s guests on Twitter Omid Singh (http://twitter.com/brownman3000 / @brownman3000) & Ramsey Badawi (http://twitter.com/ramsbad / @ramsbad) This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, “Meanifestos”, “Father Son Bonding” and a game of “Which of the Following” with blaxploitation films. Our sponsors are “Twisted Nerve Promotions” and “BJ’s Restaurant & Brewery”. Follow the show on Twitter http://twitter.com/meanboyspodcast / @meanboyspodcast and email us at [e-mail]. Visit us on the web at http://www.meanboyspodcast.com Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-money-store/id515449028) Watch the new episode of Burn Booth with Connor and Keith (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1ehmxmuE9w) Watch Dino and The Spazz on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz3T5dmwWC8) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. Hi everybody, welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast. I'm Connor McSpadden. I'm Keith Carey. I'm Ramsey Vidali. And I'm... Al Madrigal at Coachella! Welcome Omid Singh to the bunker. Yeah, what's up, man? Oh, you know, just hanging out there, having a good time.

Great, good stuff. Coming with that hot energy to replace the absent Joe Dosh. Hi, I'm Joe's ghost. I'm being snarkily positive, and it's intolerable. I died of AIDS and it reminds me of something from the 20s. Nobody understands. It reminds me of back in the 20s when we didn't have blood

transfusions. He's the only person with a steampunk vocabulary. Just a goggle-laden top hat of a man. Seriously, old Joe's a little under the weather. We got producer Ramsey here. Hey, I'm on old Joe's a little under the weather. But yeah, we got producer Ramsey here. Hey, I'm on a mic now.

I know. Thank you for letting me do this. We beg you not to. Usually you're so quiet when you're recording. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost like you're not even here.

Okay, well that's pretty hurtful. The Mean Boys podcast is all like a black chat. Like, yeah, Ramsey went out for smokes like episode four and we didn't see him

until what, episode 19 now? Yeah, sorry guys. You want to be a part of our lives again? After I got myself through high school without you? There are imaginary people

who have been on this podcast more often than Ramsey has actually been here for the recording. Now that you guys are getting subscribers, I want to be back in your lives.

It's that simple. It's keeping tradition. Getting that hot cow Clark pump. Oh yeah. Okay, well, I think we're all fired up. Are you guys ready

to get into the Mexican joke-off? Oh, let's do pump. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, I think we're all fired up. Are you guys ready to get into the Mexican joke-off? Oh, let's do it. Oh, hell yeah. Ay, so topical. Cool. I'll start us off. Ferguson, Missouri has appointed its first black chief poli- Fuck.

Oh, it begins. Ferguson, Missouri has appointed its first black police chief. In an address to the town, police chief Ruck has pledged to, quote, keep these monkeys in line. I'll go next. Red Hot Chili Peppers singer Anthony Kiedis was hospitalized today. Doctors say the front man is suffering from kidney failurecation.

I have a Mexican joke off Showdown. Uh-oh. Red Hot Chili Peppers singer Anthony Kiedis has been hospitalized. Doctors told the band he should make a full recovery as long as they hey-o listen what he say-o. Me? Eight people are killed and 44 others are injured when a bus carrying people to a casino got into an accident. You could say the bus driver rolled a hard eight.

I have a joke off with that. I kind of have a similar joke. Nine dead, 43 injured in Texas when a bus rolled over Keith Carey's mom said sorry next time she'll check for people before she decides

to wallow in her own film I don't get it my wife oh good sorry the joke is my mom is disgusting I would love to meet the version of my mom

we've created on this show just this Jabba the Hutt smoking menthols and just fucking everything. My mom is a very thin crack whore. Thank you very much. I thought you were going to end

with crack whore. Oh, wow. I actually have something that's kind of related to this. A rare whale has washed up on an Australian beach in New York. Damn it!

Just fucking do it, Connor. Something, something. Keith's biological mother. She's fat. We got none of these last week, so I'm glad we're doubling up something. Keith's biological mother. She's fat. We got none of these last week, so I'm glad we're doubling up now. Fuck all of you. God damn it.

Studies show suicide rates for gay teens are on the rise. Said one expert, the last time I saw this many low-hanging fruits, I was watching Omid Singh do a set. We're going to be playing some of Omid's stand-up later. We can play the Omid Singh drinking game, which is drink every time he says the word brown. Comes up a lot.

Yeah, you get drunk. All right. Trump is going to be the Republican nominee. Only makes sense when his opponent was Ted Cruz. All right. That's the first part. Ted Cruz said... Wait.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Ted Cruz said we may face some challenging days ahead. Ted was talking about a new bed frame he bought from Ikea that he doesn't know how to put together Oof

Like this country Why were you saying that joke like you remembered it poorly but you were reading it It was like you were looking at a blank piece of paper and just trying to pretend there was something written there I swear I wrote it down which is even worse than just pretending like I was making it up That's like hearing an old person

describe a movie they saw? Is that one fellow from the movie about the robots? There's no robots in this one. Is robot guy, but he was sad this time. Well, there was a girl too, anyway. Sad robot guy. We call him Cryborg. Okay, quick sidebar. My grandmother

one time pulled me aside. This is 100% true story. And she was like, yeah, Connor, I was watching this movie the other day. I can't remember the name of it. It had that actor I really liked, that black fella. He's in a lot. And I just guessed Samuel L. Jackson. She's like, yeah, I liked him, but I didn't really like this movie. And I was like, well, what was the plot?

And she's like, yeah, he was on this plane and there's all these snakes. Oh, God. I was like, Grandma, you got it. The name of the movie is Snakes on a Plane. Jesus fucking Christ. Ramsey, you're it. The name of the movie is Snakes on a Plane. Jesus fucking Christ. Ramsey, you're up. Let's see. The New York Museum of Sex has recently unveiled a clitoris exhibit.

Coincidentally, the Sub-Saharan African Museum of Sex recently decided to remove theirs with a machete. It's been too long since we had a general mutilation. What do you think the over-under on how many pieces of shit have gone to that museum? Like, yeah, I can't find the clit of shit. Every single fucking dude. It's upstairs. I think it's upstairs. Yeah, it's always higher than you think it's going to be.

They're going to hold the door open to really find it. A new law in Indonesia will force convicted pedophiles to be castrated in microchips so they can be located and taken to a shelter where they can find a loving home. An Alabama university has apologized after one of its sororities wore a t-shirt depicting racist cartoons of black people picking cotton and eating watermelon. The dean of the college said, quote, This backwards imagery does not belong on shirts. It belongs on our state flag. ISIS has recruited three Americans from Silicon Valley.

Kumail Nanjiani was a given, but everyone was surprised with T.J. Miller and Jimmy O. Yang. ISIS, yeah! We're getting back to our roots on this one.

We needed Arabs all along. Oh, man. Arab. Thank you. Oh, man. Arab. Thank you. No, I just mean like we should get rid of one of you fucking swine.

Guys, the more the hairier. Oh, come on. Come on. Boo, boo, boo. I'll take that. That was great. Being transgender will soon no longer

be a disorder in Denmark. According to a government official, it is now, quote, a public nuisance at best. Oh, my God, Rims. I have one that I was going to do, but I'll just do it anyway. Denmark will be the first country to stop categorizing transgenderism as a mental illness. The country's medical board says it will classify sexuality as not a binary but more of a windmill. Oh, man.

All right, I'll do the real one now. A new study shows the active ingredient Tylenol, acetaminophen, will make you less empathetic. This connection was discovered upon analyzing the contents of Joe's morning multivitamin. Financial analysts say Mark Zuckerberg has made $4.4 million for every day he has been alive. These findings were published in the magazine

Fuck Everything I Give Up Quarterly. Hillary Clinton is slowly losing her Democratic nomination to Senator Bernie Sanders. Sanders feels like he's a million-to-one shot for being president, while Hillary's donations come at a rate of a million-to-one. I'm sorry. I have some literature for you. I couldn't appreciate that joke without a cartoon bear saying it in The New Yorker. I'd wear a fucking sash. Yeah.

Are you like ghostwriting for Doonesbury? A gun went off at a high school graduation in Kansas. Apparently, the school security officer thought, quote, that black kid is trying to steal a diploma on stage again. Again? Oh, come on. ISIS has burned two parents and their three children alive after they tried to flee the terrorist stronghold in northern Iraq. One horrified onlooker said, I've heard of a family cookout, but this is ridiculous.

The world's oldest person died this week at the age of 116. She asked that her gravestone read, Even I don't understand most of Joe Dosh's references. Oh, man. Get well, Joe. Or don't. They're both fine choices.

A woman who was suing the city of Flint, Michigan for the contaminated water she was receiving has been found shot dead in her house. Police say they don't know what led to this situation.

Boo! Kill yourself. Okay. You know, this was great. We're going to wrap up the podcast early. We'll see you later. Guys, just fucking be cool. Or at least this is a bonus episode called Omead Boys or something.

No one has to know this happened. Oh, do we have to call the episode Omead Boys? No. Nah, probably. Come on. God damn it. of it called Omead Boys or something. No one has to know this happened. Do we have to call the episode Omead Boys? No. Probably. Come on. God damn it. O-mediocre.

Ding, ding, ding. I'm just really happy to be on Mean Children. This is really nice. I really appreciate it. Ramsey. Do I have one more? Okay. I think it's your last one.

Let's see. Pfizer recently banned the use of its products during executions. An official with the company said, our drugs will no longer be used to kill anyone ever again. Unless, of course, that person is trying to kill themselves while listening to a Nirvana album. The other ones are way better. I should have got one in the middle. Oh, no.

I think I'm calling Ramsey the winner today. Nice thing to joke about. Okay. Here's what I feel like with you two. I feel like that there was one being that was created and it was split into two halves and you got like all the enthusiasm. Both for like working on this and delivering it.

In my defense, one hour. I worked on these jokes for one hour. Yeah, this was like the Minutemen in the fucking American Revolution. You just Googled ISIS and then got it done. I have all I need. All right, well that was fun, guys. We're going to hear from a word from our sponsors. But first, we've got a clip from Omid Singh's album live in Bakersfield.

I am a Sikh. Sikh is a type of brown. They're the ones that wear turbans. My dad wore a turban his whole life until a certain day in American history. Let's call it 9-11. Because people in America couldn't tell the difference between Sikhs and Al-Qaeda. Which is a huge difference. It's like confusing an Amish person with a giraffe. It's not even close. The only thing they have in common is that they wear something on their head. That's the only thing. That's so ignorant. That's like me going up to someone wearing a Dodgers cap and being like, Hey, you play for the Dodgers?

You must. You're wearing the hat. Look, sweetie, there's 12 Dodger players in this bar right now. There's a new theory about 9-11. I don't know if you guys heard about this. There was a guy after tower number two, and he had a little mirror, and he was shining it up, and it caught the eye of one of the pilots, and the pilot was like, I can't see anything, and then. And the guy in the second tower was like, oh my god, did I just do this?

Or was this a terrorist attack? Let me try it one more time. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It was an inside job. It was an inside job.

Today's show is sponsored by BJ's Restaurant and Brewery. The fun place for after work, during the game, or before you call it a night. Thank you. And if that tower of fried onions seems as insurmountable as your mortgage since Steve left you and you're making the payments alone, you can just look at some of the fun stuff on the walls. Fun pictures of Jimi Hendrix and other fun guys like that moose head and the fun Route 66 map. Your nieces and nephews love your small Christmas presents

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BJ's, the fun place for fun people to have fun! Dylan? Yeah, babe? Do you love me? Of course I do. I think... I think I want to go all the way with you. Yeah?

Yeah. Hey, kiddo. Have you seen the dog's leash? I can't find it anywhere. Oh, holy bejesus! Oh, my God! Dad, get out of my room! I'm sorry, kiddo. Have you seen the dog's leash? I can't find it anywhere. Oh, holy bejesus. Oh, my God. Dad, get out of my room. I'm sorry, kiddo.

You know, back in my day, we put a sock on the doorknob if we had a lady over. Get out. This is a disaster. Hey, hey, hey. Everything's okay. It's me. I'm a cool dad. Is it your first time?

I don't want to talk about it, Dad. Oh, that's a yes. You're on the right track. Hell, you're doing your old man proud. I saw you doing that move with the pinky on her butthole. That's my move, you know. It's funny that you know it. I never taught it to you. I guess something's just running the blood. Dad! Oh, man, this is really something.

I gotta get your mom in here. Hey, Barb! Barb, get in here! I'm gonna leave. No, no, no. Come on, stay. Two seconds. We'll be out of your hair. Barb! Now, what in the hell are you hollering about at this? What? Why is Dylan naked? I wish I was dead. Get a load of this, Barb.

I walk in here looking for Mitzi's leash, and I see these kids batting each other's junk around like a couple of baboons. But then I look down, and he's got his thumb on her clit, he's got two up in her, and then the pinky working around the butthole. Does that sound familiar to you? Yeah, that's the Minnesota muff-doubler, son. That's the one. Oh, that's your father's move. Oh, Dylan, we're so proud of you. So let me get the camera. I'll be right back. Oh, forget the camera. Dylan, get back

at it. Hell, I'll do your mom. Last one to make his lady cum is a rotten egg. What the fuck? No, this is so fucked up. Dad, Mom, get out of my room! Oh. Okay. I'll see how it is. David. No, no, see how it is. David. No, no, no, it's fine.

It's just, you know, you raise them from day one, you teach them everything they know, and you're never prepared for the day you find out your son thinks he's too grown up to have a finger-bang race with his old man. I'll leave you two alone. Thank you! Fuck! Dylan. What?

Your dad's just proud of you. He's trying to bond. Being a parent is hard work, and it's scary to see your little baby grow up and leave the nest. You love your dad, don't you? I... Of course I do. I love you, Dad. I love you too, son.

Now what do you say? You think you got what it takes to beat your pops? You know it. All right, Barb, hike up that skirt. We'll show this kid how we did it in the 80s. Oh, David, you are ridiculous. I'm going to win. Not on my watch.

Oh, David. Oh, David. Oh, my God. Mom. Oh, my God. Sorry, honey. Your mom's a squirter. You don't stay in that carver, honey. Your mom's a squirter. You don't stain that carpet, Barb.

Well, you know who's going to have to clean it. You know we'll have a good time, man. All right, everybody. The Mean Boys podcast is back, and we have a new segment. This is something a little different. It's called Meanifestos. And what we're going to do is the premise of the segment is that if you're the dictator of the world, what

is three laws that you would make that everyone has to bow to your iron will? I'll start us off. This is me addressing my people. Okay. Black women must collect 500 signatures for every

Q, J, or SH sound in their child's name. White people will have to do the same if they want to name their children after a random noun. Tough but fair. Yeah, I mean, I think employment's going to go up in a generation. I will deliver my proclamation, which is shockingly kind of related. Attention, citizens! White women who idolize Beyoncé will be rounded up, branded with a scarlet

B, and it will be legal and encouraged for the police to assault them with dogs and hoses. Hey, man, you can't pick and choose your empowerment. The important thing is we're keeping women down! Where they belong. Omid.

As your ruler, no one is allowed to live alone. That's it. What? Yeah, I don't want you to have to live alone. Omid is shockingly benevolent. This is what happens when you ask a crunchy fucking hippie to be a dictator. Everyone, there'll be a buddy in every arm. And some kombucha in every mini fridge.

Nay, full fridge. Okay. Meet my cabinet, Ben and Jerry. Oh, okay. Meet my cabinet Ben and Jerry. Garcia. This is as half-baked as Omid. Full-baked. Oh, you're upgrading my fridge? Are you upgrading my level of intoxication?

Citizens of my realm must be administered're upgrading my level of intoxication? Citizens of my realm must be administered... Why are you taking it off? Sorry, it fell off. Jesus Christ, you're fucking up my poorly thought out segment. I like it. I like it too. We'll figure it out. People of my realm

will now have to be administered a breathalyzer before they get a tattoo. And when you get a tattoo, you must have one person co-sign it who will be liable for its removal, if you choose. Deep. Alright.

Fuck you. New rule! No fat chicks! Just kidding! Only fat chicks! Why didn't we just think of the reverb five minutes before we did this? That would have been much better shit. All right, all right.

Everybody listen up. From now on, vegetarians only. That's all. I hate you. First of all, you're bad at this. You should feel bad about yourself. I like the aversion of a dick-tearer who's just a grandpa calling over a kid to tell him a boring story. It's time for your overlord.

So John Waters is going to seize control of government through a military coup? What was that voice you did? You half decided to do a voice and then just forgot you were even trying. This is amazing. I'm a dictator. I don't need to try. How the fuck do you dictate? No one falls into a dictatorship.

Unless you're like North Korea. Then it's like your dad owns like a fucking sheet metal warehouse and then you get to just fucking take it over. Sheet metal warehouse. Alright. Very commanding. Last one. Citizens, transgender people will be given their own separate superior bathrooms.

The toilet sucks your butt. Or vagina. They all have butts. Why muddy the waters on this issue? The waters will be muddied enough With their feces And makeup They're trantastic Oh god Godspeed you ladyboy

Clown weirdos Well I'm officially Never gonna host the daily show But yes Here's a thing Citizens Using a series of controlled explosions Well, I'm officially never going to host the Daily Show, but here's a thing. Citizens using a series of controlled explosions, Florida will be detached from the United States and set adrift into the Atlantic, becoming a floating hedonistic resort island known as Methstralia. All right, one more announcement.

Attention! Attention! You're like the assistant principal. Attention! Attention! Guys, I will leave a note for your real dictator. Attention! Okay, this is it. Last one. Guys, I will leave a note for your real dictator Attention Okay, this is it, last one

Starbucks has to lower their prices by $1.50 on all products I'm so mad Here's the thing, all of your rules are pretty good But also I hate you Very reasonable I'm so mad. Here's the thing. All of your rules are pretty good. But also, I hate you. Yeah, good thing. It's reasonable. Who hears this? Okay, we give all the guests homework.

Who hears this fucking assignment and goes, let's make some changes for the good? Like, wow, I didn't know the Mean Boys had that kind of sway in the political sphere. Hey, man, I met Australia. It sounds good, though. Yeah, man, I like Australia. That's a great idea. Honestly, I don't think Florida

would fight you on that. I don't think so either. We know what we are. Autonomy. What I liked about this segment is everyone listening was like, oh, that'll be like good the next time.

Exactly. It's true. This is the first pancake. Yeah. All right. Well, Mean Boys will be right back after something more thought out.

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too bad, because Dave is a PlayStation man, and he's gonna spend 45 minutes telling you why. He's got games alright. Call of Duty, Peggle, and that's it. You want to play too? Bring a controller. Don't have one? Bring a gun and kill yourself. But don't get it on Dave's carpet

because he just vacuumed. Dave's mom is going to be there wearing yoga pants and serving up bagel bites. You like bagels? You like pizza? Well, they fucked and you're going to eat their babies. If you're feeling sassy, talk to Dave's mom in the kitchen. She's pouring up Mountain Dew and letting her gross old tits flop all over the place.

Things aren't going super great with Jeff right now. Play your cards right, and you might get to lay pipe in Dave's slutty maw. Don't worry about rubbers, because she got cervical cancer, so now she's barren. It's okay. She's in remission, and she's on a mission. A mission for that greasy load. Dave's House, she's in remission And she's on a mission A mission for that greasy load Dave's House, 2016 Everybody's invited

Except for Stuart You know what the fuck you did, Stuart Alright, the Mean Boys are back And we are closing out the show as we always do With a round of our favorite game, which of the following? Yay! Fart, fart shit. Okay. Welch. This

week is a listener suggestion from somebody whose Twitter handle I forgot to write down. So, thanks, girl. Which of the following is not a real blaxploitation flim? Oh, one of the blaxploitation flim flams. That sounds like Joe Josh is alive and well in all of us.

A, Cosby's List. No. That's a blaxploitation flim flam. A, Lady Coco. B, Inky and the Bad Brothers Crusade. C, Zebra Killer. Or D, The Spook Who Sat by the Door. I got mine. Already yeah contemplate man what do

you think Lady Coco okay I know so here's what I know the inky one I'm pretty sure is real I feel like I've heard that before yeah me too uh I do love spook it's my favorite racial slur yeah the zebra killer is a thing like that's a thing that actually happened oh okay um so I'm gonna say D the spook who sat by the door. You know what? I'm going to go with Omid. I think the spook who sat by the door is Red Herring. I think you want me to choose that one so badly.

Okay. So which one's fake? A's fake. A's fake. The fake one is Inky and the Bad Brothers Crusade. I really thought I heard that. No, I'm just that good, bitch. Yeah, well played.

Okay. We just talking about Shaft. Yeah, well played. Okay. We just talking about Shaft. Number two. Shut your mouth. A, swing into Blacktion. B, Cleopatra Jones in the Casino of Gold. C, Hookers in Revolt.

Or D, the chase for the Golden Needles. Okay, I think swinging the Blacktion has to be real. As I was reading these, I was like, I think Swingin' the Blacktion has to be real. As I was reading these, I was like, I have to watch

all of these movies. Yeah, Swingin' the Blacktion, you can't have a Bloxploitation film without Blox, that has to have been done. Alright, I got mine. I'm gonna say

Swingin' the Blacktion is the fake one. Oh, it can't be. I think it's Hookers and Revolt because it sounds a lot like Youth and Revolt and I think,

yeah, see. Okay, well, sound logic, I mean, the fake one is Swingin' the Blacktion. Oh, no. revolt because it sounds a lot like youth and revolt and i think uh yeah see okay well it's sound logic i mean uh the fake one is swinging a black shit oh no i how could how could swinging the black should not be real i think the swinging implied some monkeyness and they didn't want to like sell out their culture like that i didn't even think about that swing it on a vine into the most ape-like looking person here that's oh boy come on you look like a handsome chimp thanks i appreciate that do we not can we not chimp. Thanks, man. I appreciate that. Do we not? Can we not? Hey, it's Chimp Fancy.

Oh, man. Oh, my God. Well, now we have an episode title. That's your rapper name for sure. Chimp Fancy. Chimp Fancy. Remember earlier, Hamsy Badomlet? Hamsy Badomlet?

That's what you order at the diner. Like when they start naming food after us for being shitty comics. Hamsy Badomlet. Oh, good stuff. Or at least a comedy club. It comes with a lit cigarette put out into it. And a monster energy. It's marinated in a monster energy drink.

It's cheaper than the Conner McGriddle. All right. Well, it's... And Omid has the eggs underprepared. He didn't do the work. I'm fucking with you. Number three. A. Detroit 9000. paired he didn't do the work i'm fucking with you number three a detroit 9 000

b afro werewolf c blackenstein or d hood of horror i've seen blackenstein the first one it just seems like yo man she's like a four here but she's like a detroit i'm just thinking it's detroit in the, but she's like a Detroit 9000. I'm just thinking it's Detroit in the future, but they shoot it in present-day Detroit. Isn't there a black Goku now? Is that Detroit 9000 that's his power level? I never saw Blackenstein, but I did read the Blackenstein Bears as a child. Blackenstein?

You think he's Jewish? It's actually just about a lawyer. It's the guy from Seinfeld. I'm going to say... What's B again? Afro Werewolf. Afro Werewolf. I'm going to go with Detroit 9000.

That can't be real. I'll split it and go Hood of Horror. The fake one is Afro Werewolf. Hood of Horror is real. I've seen that one too. Snoop Dogg. Oh, he's in it? It's his movie.

Really? I think he produced it and he's like the Crypt Keeper of it. Or the Blood Keeper, I don't remember. I'm dead serious about him being in it, though. Yeah, I buy that. Number four. A. A hero ain't nothing but a sandwich. B. Death of a snowman.

C. The Black Klansman. Or D. No noose is Good Noose. Oh my god. Like there's no way in here. D. It can't be. D. I'm with you on that. No Noose is Good Noose. Read me A and B again.

A Hero Ain't Nothing But a Sandwich. That's my album title for the next one. And A Death of a Snowman. I'm going to say Death of a Snowman. The fake one is No Noose is Good Noose. Thank god. Oh god. But wouldn't that be badass

he goes out he kills fucking like the hangman guys no it'd be fantastic yeah city by city he goes around killing all the hangmen

yeah I love it that's the tagline don't leave him hanging someone cancelled plans with him and then he hung the person he didn't want to hang out it was like

dude I blocked out that time this fall I mean autumn bad choice of words. Alright, number five is always... I got it. Because they're hangmen? Because they fall, their neck breaks. Oh. Yeah. Worth it!

You gotta be, yeah. Number five, all real or all fake. A, the monkey hustle. B, passion plantation. C, Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde, or D, Soul Brothers of Kung Fu. I'm going to go all real. I think Soul Brothers of Kung Fu is pretty real.

Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde just sounds like I'm on all real. You guys are all real? Keith's all fake? They are all real. Son of a bitch. As we all know, the last round's worth 500 points. It's worth Detroit 9,000 points. All right, well, that's our show for this week.

Before we leave, we want to reach into the Mean Boys mailbag and see what some of our listeners had to say. Here's an email. Hi, boys. I should start off by admitting the last episode you posted, parentheses Joe's asshole, was the first episode I had listened to, but I loved it. My favorite part, hands down, was Kyle Clark. Not to say the rest of you guys weren't great, but Joe's asshole, was the first episode I had listened to, but I loved it. My favorite part,

hands down, was Kyle Clark. Not to say the rest of you guys weren't great, but he's my favorite mean boy. I guess my list would go Kyle Clark, then Joe Dosh,

then Connor, and everyone else is kind of just tied for fourth place. I'm going to start listening to This Is Rad right away, but as long as your mellow, sex-drenched voices

grace that show as well, I'll stay tuned. Thanks for making this podcast, Kyle. I love it. Signed, Kyle. Thanks for making this podcast, Kyle. I love it. Signed, Kyle's number one fan. Thanks, bro. Yeah, man.

Fuck. At least I'm tied with Ramsey. You're tied with a guy who doesn't speak into the microphone ever? Yeah, me, you, and Tom that one time. Wouldn't it be funny if, like, Jamar's three seconds of being confused outranked us? It sounded like he knew what he... We're mean.

That's what he knew. It's in the theme song now. He had a pretty good clear idea of what was going on. He gave us an excuse to have the N-word in our theme song. He did, yeah. Well, I still have the Jamar N-word button for emergencies on my phone in case we need it. In case of emergency. Yeah, you gotta break a pane of glass and pry it open.

We all have to turn a key that's shaped like a Black Power Afro pick. Was that it for the mailbag? One more. Okay. So, dot, dot, dot, how dead inside do I have to be to be able to join slash be one of the mean boys? Just asking for a friend, your fan forever, Jesus Medina. Do we know Jesus Medina? I don't know, and I hope the fact that we don't makes him feel bad as he listens to this.

Yeah, wouldn't it be funny if it's somebody we've known for years? Oh, it's probably. It's like, it's finally going to be my shot. His Twitter handle is at Jesus the Slayer. I don't know. What is the initiation process to becoming a mean boy? What did we do when we started this? I'm pretty sure.

I mean, we turned Joe gay. Like, we did the sorcery. I think we just all killed a guy, and then we just, like, kept it, and, you know, we did, like, a real... That's true. He's in here right now. He's still a better producer than Ramsey. That's true.

I don't know what they thought. He doesn't go out for a smoke? No rebuttal. Here's what you gotta do. I usually clean, too. In order to be a mean boy, you need to, if removed, completely destroy the momentum of the show. So, Joe, you're the truest mean boy there ever was.

That's true. All right. All right, well, I think that's it. You guys got any shows coming up? Yeah. You guys want to start? Okay, this Monday I'm at the Madhouse. Tuesday I'm at La Stats in San Diego,

which is a great show, at 9 p.m. Wednesday I'm at the Ha Ha Cafe at 8 p.m. in North Hollywood. And then this weekend I'm at the Madhouse with Keith, right? Friday, yeah. Yeah, Friday and Saturday me and Keith are at the Madhouse with Keith, right? Friday, yeah. Yeah, Friday and Saturday, me and Keith are at the Madhouse in San Diego. There's going to be some great shows. So yeah, me and he's come out. Wednesday night, I'm at Bricks in Sunset Beach.

Friday, I'm at the Madhouse with Connor. Saturday, I will not be at the Madhouse. I will be at the UCB Theater in Franklin as part of the Tournament of Nerds at midnight. So come check that out. It is one of my favorite shows in LA. It's super cool. And Keith's doing some real dumb.

I'm doing some real dumb bullshit. And then also, I got a plug. We're doing the Black Rainbow Tour, me and Kyle Clark, who one of our listeners loves to the image, at the end of May, early June. So check our Facebook for dates on that. And Mean Boys fans, Tom Goss will be guest hosting all those episodes. All one of them.

We've got fucking shitty Joan Rivers. Joan found dead in a river. There it is. Okay, on Wednesday, I have a date at House of Pies. On Thursday, I'll be going to Florida. On Friday, I'll be doing a guest spot at the Florida Improv for Andrew Schultz. Very fine guy from MTV2 or 3 or 5. And then doing a wedding on the 21st on the beach.

And then 22nd going to Miami to hang out with my buddy Steve. 23rd I'll be back in LA. And then on the 24th he'll be writing jokes for this podcast. Starting my own podcast again, Mean Children. Oh yeah, listen to Amin and Ramsey's podcast called What Have I Done? Yeah. Yeah. Please do.

Oh, God. What a dick move. Oh, does it really not exist anymore? We're on hiatus, man. Your podcast is on hiatus? Translation, Omid got high and forgot you guys did a thing. I wish. I wish it was my fault.

Creative differences. Oh, shit. No wish it was my fault. Creative differences. Oh, shit. No, it's on hiatus. What? Oh, what? Weed. All right, Ramsey. By the way, I got shows.

Tuesday, I'll be at LaStats with Connor. Saturday, I do have a show at Max Bloom's in Fullerton at 8 o'clock. I'm also going to be at the Improv Space at 10 that night, and then I'll be at Lotus Lounge at 11 that night. And then, on May 31st, I'll be at Lotus Lounge at 11 that night and then on May 31st I'll be roast battling Jeff Suing

at the famous comedy store shit wow okay well that's the show Omid you made us all so chill thanks that was too mellow

I know we've never I haven't anyway fuck everything God is dead or whatever