Mean Boys - EP 206 - Police Navidad (feat. Isaac Hirsch)

Episode Date: August 8, 2019

Get tickets for Tom's album recording: http://www.liveatnorthbar.com/events/tom-goss-album-recording/ Listen to Tom's new podcast Leaving The Tribe: http://soundcloud.com/user-754160303 Get a Mean Boys Ramones shirt: meanboyspodcast.com/merch Download the Himalaya app and follow Mean Boys: itunes.apple.com/us/app/himalaya-…d1275493456?mt=8 Fill out our tour sheet and get on our mailing list: bit.ly/2vZBsQV Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/meanboys Enjoy our new Discord server: discord.gg/5KWf32m Fuck with the new Mean Boys subreddit: reddit.com/r/meanboys Subscribe to our YouTube channel: youtube.com/channel/UC0hvkj7TOPzMdJbKIh1L_hw Send us an email at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at [phone] Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow our guest Isaac Hirsch on Twitter: twitter.com/IBHirsch Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Follow Tom on Twitter: twitter.com/gossgoss6 Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/meanboyspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. At Desjardins Insurance, we put the care in taking care of business. Your business to be exact. Our agents take the time to understand your company so you get the right coverage at the right price. Whether you rent out your building, represent a condo corporation, or own a cleaning company, we make insurance easy to understand so you can focus on the big stuff, like your small business. Get insurance that's really big on care. Find an agent today at Desjardins.com slash business coverage.

This is a Mean Boys podcast. Hi, guys. Hey, everybody. Tom's on the road preparing for his album recording. When is that album recording again, Keith Carey? That album recording, you can kind of expect, is August 17th in Chicago, Illinois at the goddamn North Bar. Yeah, man. Tickets are five bucks. They're on sale now. There's a link in the show notes.

You would be absolutely remiss if you live anywhere resembling driving distance if you did not go out and attend the show and support tom goss as he makes a a small piece of history yeah i mean tom has been working so hard on this album and it really is fucking great especially if you know look i you know a lot of you guys probably know tom for more from the podcast than from stand-up stuff you're gonna be blown away by how good this dude is at stand-up and he just he cares about it. Like, every time I talk to Tom, he's thinking about his album, how he wants, how good he wants it to be.

I'm working on a television program, and at no point during the day do I think about how good it's going to be, how it's going to turn out, how I'm going to approach writing on it and working on it. Speaking of which, thank you to everybody who's been watching

Lights Out with David Spade. Oh, yeah. Continue watching that. Yeah. At the. Oh, yeah. Continue watching that. Yeah. At the very least, DVR it. Yeah. That's like being on Bernie's email list but not giving him any money. Your daddies need those numbers.

But it's been fun. It's been really cool to see you guys tweet us nice shit. Yeah. Hey, man, you're going to see some mean boys on camera. You've already seen some mean boys on camera. Yeah. We both – I had a little bit I had to shave my chest for.

I got to be a Dracula. Keith did get to be a Dracula. He was fantastic. You should watch that out in the digital post-game interview they did with you. Yeah, that's pretty fun. There's some more

goofy shit on the horizon that I won't spoil yet. Yes, because it may get cut or we may be legally not allowed to divulge it. That's what I was getting at yeah well i like to be transparent with the listeners you had a funny moment with there's the children on

the production lot afterwards oh yeah this is great so if you guys didn't watch i did a bit where uh there was a fucking bat trapped on a spirit airlines flight and they were like oh we got an interview with the bat and it turns out it was the fucking me as a dracula and i landed in newark new jersey and i did a bunch of shtick or whatever. And after the piece, they took my costume off, but I had to stay in makeup because I had to go film another thing. And then the wardrobe lady disappeared with my shirt, so I was just wandering around as fat, shirtless Dracula for a while.

And then I was like, well, fat, shirtless Dracula is going to go have a cigarette. And then I was standing outside the office smoking a cigarette in full makeup, and a child actor walked by me and looked at me like the clown from it just like mom is there a misfits roadie here yeah like oh is this what show business is man yeah that kid was going to audition for the saved by the bell reboot or some shit and he's just like i'm going to college yeah i'm getting a cpa you know what call me crazy, but I don't think that's so Raven at all. Yeah. It seems pretty un-Raven. Maybe the real Raven was a family that loves you. Yeah.

That sounds pretty Raven to me, Mom. A white picket fence in the valley. Yeah, that sounded pretty good looking at fucking this dude get sunburned in his Dracula makeup. You also wore the shirt that was like the puffy shirt from Seinfeld that I enjoyed. Yeah, very true. And, yeah, my armpits. And I mildly amused Nick Kroll. Oh, yes. He was tickled.

Yeah. Yeah. He did that smile where it's like, okay. All right. I see that you're doing a thing here and I won't interrupt. Yeah. You heard a charming anecdote at a dinner party and you didn't try to top it. Yeah.

Good for you. Good for you, sailor. Garlic bread's good. Yeah. So, fuck. What was this? Well, yeah. But so watch the fucking show. Go for you, sailor. Garlic bread's good. Yeah. So, fuck. What was else? Well, yeah. So, watch the fucking show.

Go to Tom's album recording. I think he's got more shows on the road. Look at his social media. I don't remember. I'm off the top of my head. Yeah. I think he's got fucking Bisbee, Arizona, I think is, might be tonight. But if it's not tonight, it's tomorrow night.

Oh, yeah. Well, the show was late because we had some medical problems. Yeah. And Keith's ass exploded. My ass? No, it's not your ass, but I've decided, and I thought about this in the car while I was sitting next to you, that everything below your tits is basically your ass. So I'm just an ass, it's just like ass, tits, skull.

If you break your knee, I will say that you broke your ass. So does that mean my dick is my ass? It's included under the purview of it. It's like Washington, D.C. I love it because it means I poop cum, which is pretty funny. It's included under the purview of it. It's like Washington, D.C. I love it because it means I poop cum, which is pretty funny. It's true, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I'm fine. Wouldn't it be great if we were announcing I had cancer? Yeah, it would be fun. This is how we did it? No, Keith's fine. They said that, you know, all the King's horses and all the King's men could, in fact, with physical therapy, put his ass back together again. Yeah, my ass lives to fart another day.

Wow, dude, poetic. You know, a lot of people stop doing their podcasts when they get TV writing jobs. Yeah. And I'm starting to think they have a good idea. No, I'm kidding. No, and yeah, and I know you guys have been talking about some of the and the Reddit about the format changes and stuff. We're going to bring that shit back We're trying to get the groove Because as it turns out, writing a TV show

Is a lot of fucking work We don't have time to do anything Yeah, but I want to do that I'm trying to figure out a schedule where we can do Some of the old school mean boy shit that's kind of fallen by the wayside lately But yeah, literally My personal hobbies at this point are like Buying groceries

And calling my mother I'm just completely but yeah literally my my personal hobbies at this point are like buying groceries yeah and calling my mother like i've no i'm just i'm completely i did nothing with chores this weekend i know yeah and i was like wow that was relaxing and it sounds like a dumb adult complaint but you've got to understand we've been living like homeless pirates for fucking the better part of a decade i know man i had this perfectly nice note life where i made twelve thousand,000 a year, had food stamps, and me and Keith just figured it out. Now I got responsibilities. Yeah.

So thanks for bearing with us. We appreciate it. But for now, all you got to do, oh yeah, that's right, Isaac Hirsch is our guest today. Oh yeah. You know why? Because he lives in the foyer. Okay? So he's great.

Always a blast having him on the show. Here's an episode with him on it for you to listen to. Check the mics, everybody. Huh? Guess I'll check the mic. Are you fucking happy? I'm so thrilled. Check.

Actually enjoying checking the mic. I'm enjoying it. Shut the fuck up. Shut your fucking mouth. Why are you on a... I fucking hate you. You're a bad guy. I think that should be the intro.

Is he just screaming at Isaac? I think with the mic checking. Yeah? Yeah, it was fun. That was fun. Welcome to the Mean Boys podcast, everyone. What up? I guess for a nihilist quote, I was probably just going to say that I think that Jeffrey Epstein stuff is going to be the edgy man's Mueller report.

That's the McSpadden take as it stands. I just feel like we're going to get our hopes up. We're going to get really invested. We're going to follow it. And two or three insignificant bureaucrats will be implicated, and then it will all vanish into the mist. Yeah, everybody's waiting for the pictures of just Bill Clinton in a Hawaiian shirt throwing toddlers into a volcano. And nobody more than myself. Oh, I know.

I'm very excited. Like, it genuinely breaks my heart because I know how excited you are to see fucking bodies hit the floor on this. And no one's going down. I know. And it's been a blast. It's almost, look, it's become like the Yeezus era for pedophiles. Right. Where it's just sporadic information and cryptic new ideas.

And you're like, man, this is going to be a wild ride for me as a Kanye West fan. It's like that, but it's like, oh, oh my God, Chris Tucker is implicated. It's the rights of different Chris Tucker, as it turns out. That's what people are saying. No, I think it was the real. It was not the real Chris Tucker. People are saying it's actually the real Chris Tucker. See, I saw a few articles that said it was the real Chris Tucker. Oh, I saw something that said it wasn't. The real Chris Tucker, as in the other Chris Tucker. That guy's a fake Chris Tucker. Well, who's the real Chris Tucker. I saw a few articles that said it was the real Chris Tucker.

Oh, I saw something that said it wasn't. The real Chris Tucker, as in the other Chris Tucker. That guy's a fake Chris Tucker. Well, who's the other Chris Tucker? Some fucking guy. Oh, some Chris fucker. I don't know. Look, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop on Dan Schneider for years.

I've learned not to get my hopes up. That's the Nickelodeon guy, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. He got fucked, though, didn't he? He doesn't work there anymore. Not fucked, but he's not even going to go to jail or anything. No, but most of these people are never going to go to fucking jail.

You know, guys, I'm just over here in my head listening to, I'm Chris Tucker. Yes, I'm Chris Tucker. All the other Chris Tuckers are fake Chris Tucker. I'm just, you guys were saying some kind of shit about world politics, and I was just like, We were talking about management at Nickelodeon. Yeah like we were talking about management nickelodeon nickelodeon you were yeah yeah there's a guy who created like every nickelodeon show like

in the mid to like the i carly era yeah who ended up being like the weinstein of children's television oh yeah i heard a bit he went down like a motherfucker it's bad not enough no well there's a super creepy video that came out that was like uh i think it was an audition or some sort of short for one of those shows, where it is literally just him filming a girl's feet. It's really bad. Oh, shit. What was the audition for? It was just for one of those fucking shows.

Yeah, fucking wacky grape stomping, jamboree. Oh, man. I would like just like if I feel like I was for Rocco's tragic life i'd be a good children's show writer weirdly but i think that i would definitely be like i would not pitch an episode like hey it's called uh grapes by the pool you know or whatever like i would i would even if i had a funny arc for it i'd be like i can't have people thinking that i'm part of yeah if i was writing a children's television show i would would literally just every episode, they would all be wearing burkas. Like, I don't mean any of this fucking nonsense.

You just cast adults. Yeah, I'm trying to do the same thing with David Spade. I'm trying to sexually exploit him. Fuck, dude. Isaac. Hello. The foyer guy. The foyer guy.

Bobby Foyer. Yeah, that is what we call you at work. Oh, jeez. Is this kitchen guy or foyer guy?yer i uh yeah that is what we call you at work oh jesus kitchen guy your foyer guy oh man yeah uh i you know in in many ways living in the entryway of the house has been better than i expected and in some ways it has been much worse yeah i feel like a lot of worse you know i love living here i love the the people. It's the best, like, person situation I've ever had. But, like, it's also objectively squalor. I wake up covered in ants every morning. Yeah, it's bad, dude. It really goes to show you the honest power of friendship.

We actually are all relatively happy living here. Right. This situation is good enough to justify how gross it is. There's times where we've literally had amounts of money where i believe we were assisting on the symbiotic energy of powerful friendship there's a good year and a half where i don't remember how i paid rent i know i did i just don't know how i remember when you moved in here and it was like 300 bucks a month yeah okay and we just looked at each other like, what the fuck are we going to mine?

Seven. Twenty five. We're going to die. We're going to be dead. Yeah. It's fucking. I genuinely do remember one time pulling quarters out of the couch to pay rent. Oh, man.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah. That was a rough fucking day. I know, dude. Literal couch quarter shenanigans. It was not like a bit like it wasn't like that's a metaphor. No, it was just like, literally, I'll go to Coinstar, and then I'll walk to the bank, and then I won't get evicted.

By the way, that's a two-hour walk. Yeah, although what's funny to me is looking back on it, I don't think any of you would have evicted me. I don't. I just think we're all so averse to confrontation. I can't imagine anybody kicking me out. Tom would have kicked you out. Tom on what grounds?

It would have been extremely funny, but Tom would have evicted you. The only person who was a less functional human being than me in this house. Tom had a house meeting. Tom called the only house meeting. I don't mean as a human, but in terms of a financially sustainable deal. You and Opie would have a weird relationship eventually. Yeah, that's a good point. I don't think I can get kicked out of the house by the guy who lives in the kitchen.

I don't think he can make the choices. I don't know. I think he's more of – I feel Tom's role in the house is more spiritual. As a true anchor of heart and mind. Yeah, because I can feel when he's not home. And logistically, now he's become a powerhouse in the absence of Opie and then of me emotionally in terms of caring for the domestic needs of our pad.

Now that Opie's rich and you're a husk. Yeah, you know, that's true. It's like, well, now that my life is just giving myself comedy black lung every day in my mind. I really can't think that much about SoCalGas.com. Tom made a short chart for us that lasted two whole weeks before we stopped updating it and doing it. Oh, yeah. It was comforting to see that everyone fucked up.

We all tapped out at two weeks. It was honestly going pretty good. No, I mean, I have a theory on part of how to fix it. It's just reorganizing it so it does not look like a serial killer fucking red line. Like who killed fucking Marilyn like bored. Honestly, a wheel seems like the way to do it. A wheel, a dry erase board, really any setup with some sort of symmetry would work what tom kind of has is like rotation is great one of those like 40 like board games that white girls play

it's where it's called kerfuffle no like the ogre's curse of gravel yeah and it's like it's a board game and uh it's one of those tacked to like the world's smallest organizational board. You know, like if you're trying to get your life organized and you live in a Japanese capsule hotel, this is the one you purchase. So it's all just hanging all over the place. You said white girl board game. I just pictured like cranium or one of those terrible where it's just like, I don't know, pretend you're creative for 40 minutes. It's honestly more like Magic the Gathering because some everything goes on cycles and some are weekly and some are monthly. It's just like all the phases they have in Magic where it's like, ah, cleaning the fridge, that's a second main phase action.

You can't do that during the combat phase. Hear that, ladies, from Jeffrey Epstein's island to Magic the Gathering metaphors. The Mean Boys podcast is a guaranteed slip and slide for your hooch. Tune the fuck in and soak it out with Isaac Hirsch. Welcome to Pussy Juice Mountain. Keith Carey. Goop. Connor.

Knife Guy Summer McSpadden. Here's the heart. Welcome to the fuck dungeon. Dude, we suck. Yeah. Fuck, man. It's weird living in the foyer because I have, like, a classic. Here's the thing about foyers.

I live in horrible squalor. Well, actually, that's why I've been trying to do a bit about the foyer that's very observational. And people just don't relate to my observations about living in a foyer. It's all foreign to them. Because people don't do that. Yeah, I know. I'm just like, I wake up every day covered in ants. You're fucking squares, man.

I talked to a girl in a foyer that had walls made of blankets one time. It was a nice gal. I don't know. She was real cool. And she lived in the living room. She was new to Los Angeles. And she had dignity in her life. She was like a much more competent person than me.

A mature, decision-making kind of person that figured shit out. Made the best of shit. And she lived in a foyer. And I think it's time to stop foyer shaming. A lot of the best people I've ever known in my life have lived in foyers. I think Connor's just telling us he fucked. I think that was the whole point of that story. He really wants to get that across, yeah.

And I fucked this girl, and she was normal. She was a normal girl. I had people sex, and it was fine. Guys, I'm sorry my impassioned sermon about your human dignity, about yours directly, was thought of as a crass sexual brag what is the foyer bit uh the foyer bit it's it's literally just like ah you know it's it's bad it's a bad bit that's also why it's not working i think what i was gonna say though is just like i have a classic loser's life like i live in a foyer and with no ac and all covered in ants and all that and yet every day every weekday i wake up and i drive to work at a software company and it's a very funny contrast i mean you are like a fucking mike judge pilot that didn't get

picked up from like 2003 yeah like you waking up in the morning you just you look like the beginning of every vince vaughn movie from when he was popular where he's just like an adorable schlub who's not quite pulling it when I... That's the music I listen to. Perfect. For post bed. Making software stuff. Programming code. Goddamn.

With the worst... We did a song parody at work the other day, and I don't fucking feel good about it. It's really the smash mouth you know what i'm talking about i'm familiar with the lead singer steve uh harwell i think that's his name i read this fascinating oral history of all-star i read that by the way it's fucking great it's nuts man like he's a fucking beautiful character he's also such an ass it's he's he's everything you want him to be He non-ironically says we changed music

Like five times It's on Rolling Stone Fucking read it if you haven't He kinda did It's interesting but his son passed away And we did a walking on the sun parody Wish I could be walking with my son Jesus

That took a real turn That was not where I thought it was going. And you know, it's made me wonder. It's like, where are the lines with parody songs? Where do you... You want to have fun and laugh with your friends, but sometimes it's just in bad taste. I mean...

And it's not right. It's inappropriate. I didn't know the kid. You didn't. Not a lot of people did. He was nine months old. Oh, shit. I did not know who kid. You didn't. Not a lot of people did. He was nine months old. Oh, shit. I did not know who he was. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

I read. The fact of the matter is he would have never been walking with a song. This is a man who contributed a lot to a fun corner of our pop culture. And he's given us something to rag on for years. True. And we did sing a song about his dead baby. Well, to be fair, we didn't broadcast it that time. No, we didn't. But I wanted to have a teachable

moment. You are really trying to fucking have your cake and eat it too right now. No, I don't know. It'd be terrible if I said the thing I said. Well, you know what I was doing? I was thinking, let's just do some freewheeling riffy bits. And I'm like, what's here?

What's the bit about the crisis of conscious about the Smash Mouth song? And then it turns out there wasn't one. Yeah, I actually I read that Weird Al has a strict no dead sons policy. So that's where the line is for him. Interesting. Like he wouldn't do like a tears in heaven kind of. No, they pitched him tears in heaven. And he said, no, I can't.

Did he? Did they really? No, I'm making this up. I have no idea. Now, who do I think is pitching things to Weird Al? I don't know. His band? I mean, you can't imagine all that genius came out of him.

Al has a writer's room. He probably does. That'd be a cool writer's room. That would be. I bet you he's got some really, really talented writer who's writing dumb puns for him. I bet Dan Harmon is moonlighting for fucking Weird Al. What about... This is a real Weird Al thing, by the way.

I decided I didn't mean to cut you off. No, go ahead. This is a real Weird Al thing. He cut all the Michael Jackson songs, like, parodies from his set list. Oh, really? He won't do fat anymore and he won't do eat it. Wow. That's the real tragedy here.

I can't believe they're both about food. I mean, a good 80% of his songs are about food. There's a lot of food. That's true, but like two separate Michael Jackson songs

about being fat. Well, Eden isn't about being fat. Honestly, I'm starting to learn where I got a lot of the foundational fabric

of my sense of humor was listening to all the Weird Al albums and now all i do is call people fat yeah that's your whole deal and and say things that rhyme it's a bummer i'll never close out the trilogy though oh god what would that be uh the food criminal is the first one that popped up oh man food criminal would be food criminal that's also just a funny thing to call you what about black and white parentheses cookie like in Seinfeld? Okay, alright. What is another fucking mic?

Man in the mirror is very fat. Man in the funhouse mirror. I'm starting with the fatty in the mirror. It's man in the drive-thru and it's him doing a duet with the fucking guy on the Okay, yeah. There we go.

That guy's the guitar solo. There you go. The fudge swirl is mine? I don't know. That's not bad. That's not bad. That's pretty good, actually. The way you make me meal.

You really add the fries. Wait, wait, wait. You're topping off of my drinks now, babe. I got it. It's right here. KFC. Easiest one. Oh, that's pretty good.

Yeah. Okay. But unfortunately, we're only counting his solo stuff. Yeah, Jackson 5 doesn't count. That's when he became a child molester. So I'm going to have to deduct points for that one. Yeah, could he still do a Jackson 5 parody? That'd be okay.

Jackson 500 pounds. What about the Jack in the Box 5? Is it better? I was like, I hope I can top this after I thought it was stupid. Don't let me down now. You die like the good, the bad, and the ugly. Fall the fuck over.

Into a barrel. Just labeled cheese, parenthetically, miscellaneous. I think it'd be funny if no matter how I died or where it happened, I just fell into a barrel of horse water like in an old cowboy movie. Why do you think I keep one in the back seat? If you grab your arm at a Denny's, I'm putting it by the booth. Hospital bed, surrounded by my loved ones. My wife tearfully rolls over a barrel and just pushes my body. If you grab your arm at a Denny's, I'm putting it by the booth. Hospital bed surrounded by my loved ones.

Like my wife tearfully rolls over a barrel and just pushes my body. He would have wanted it this way. I would love for you to be buried inside of a barrel. I'm going to fucking laugh for 200 years. If you laid yourself to rest in a cartoon barrel set up like a Knott's Berry Farm diorama of a dead fat guy wearing a big straw hat, bullet wound. I'm putting this on wax now. If you're alive longer than me, which, you know, I like your odds. That's true.

And you're going to be one of the people who has to deal with the situation. I will probably have to take point on your funeral proceedings. I'm going to be cremated. I've already decided that. But I promise to be put in a hilariously big urn. Okay. Even though there's a normal amount of ashes, like a full on, like the Stanley Cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow, that would literally be. Like a goblet for a giant. That'll be fulfilling. I mean, by the time you die, that'll be fulfilling like a 30-year bit. Yeah, and it won't be. We started on roast battle. Oh, I forgot you did that joke on roast battle. Yeah.

Tom helped me with that one. We started on roast battle. Oh, I forgot you did that joke on roast battle. Yeah. I'm just imagining you going over Niagara Falls in a barrel and landing in another barrel. What? I'm imagining him just going over Niagara Falls in a barrel and landing in a second barrel somehow at the bottom. Fucking double barrel, dude. I would like to fucking turduck in your barrels. I'm going to take your asses to so many disrespectful places. I'm going to scatter some. I like that you take your ashes to so many disrespectful places. I'm going to scatter. You're getting all of my ass.

I'm getting a good. I'm getting. There's like other people who might get some. You're going to split your ashes. I deserve some of your remains. You're going to get some of them. I think I do like splitting them up. I do like like Jordan has probably the chest and the head.

OK. They're not. They're not pieces of ashes. That's not how it works. I'm saying if we're going proportionally. I'm not a rotisserie chicken, fuckface. They're not splitting me up. That's an amount of ashes. Let me get an urn full of dark meat.

Listen up. I'm going to explain to myself. Hey, you're all going through. I got half a mind to throw me in a barrel at you. Okay, so if you cut off your arms and legs. Sure, great start. And you burned that part of you. Yeah.

And that was ashes. And then separately, you burned your arms and legs. Why wouldn't you just say 40%? The amount that George would get would be your torso and your head. Okay. Okay, that's most of them. Those are the parts. And they're not separated, but those are the parts that are Keith. We're talking waist up to the head. Okay. Okay, that's most of them. Those are the parts, and they're not separated,

but those are the parts that are Keith. We're talking waist up to the head? Yeah. I would give... I'm good at the dick, too, but yeah, fair enough. You give her the dick. I would say I get, like, a leg's worth. That seems fair.

I think whichever the brother you like, he gets, like, an arm. No, he gets a leg. Tom probably gets both arms because that's about a leg so he splits us up yeah that sounds about right yeah we get both of myself and tom getting equal amounts do get more than your brother though i don't i will say this i i genuinely just thought well what about my mom and not because i think i'm gonna die young i just think she's gonna live to be 300 somehow your mom is going to haunt this earth for so long.

Thoroughly. She's going to be like Iggy Pop. How are you still so fast and so old? Your mom has not yet begun to commit felonies. I'll tell you that. She's got some shit left in the tank. I've hung out with her. My mom texted me the other day and first of all

has been very insistent that I ask David Spade for a specific DVD copy of one episode of Just Shoot Me like he has those a lot like he's gonna put it on his computer and not even one he's really good in she's like yeah I like that one cause Ray Liotta's and I'm like

sure great she's soliciting you for a Just Shoot Me Ray Liotta tape and then she immediately fucking sent me video of her riding a motorcycle and told me she has a motorcycle license. Oh, great. Yeah. Where does she work now?

No, let's not say. I genuinely don't remember. Something with veterans or some shit. ISIS veterans. She's a... Oh, good, good, good, good. She's a war nurse for ISIS. Yeah, I talked to my mom the other day.

She was out shopping in the natural grocery store on her way home to probably watch the news with my father. Okay. So we have different lives. Yeah. My mom is the president of the garden club. Dude, your mom's gay. Hey, hey, I'll defend my mom for a second. She went to another garden club.

They're all just like suburban ladies who didn't care about gardening. So she found a club that is only for gardeners who really garden. So she's like the alt-right of the garden club. Yeah, she's like, you can't. But, you know, I still respect her more than someone who lives in a kitchen. Because I'm not backing up your speech if you don't back up my speech. Yes. I don't even remember your speech.

It was about respecting people that live in kitchens. I live in a foyer. I believe it was about foyers. Oh, well, it applied probably to both. Well, I fucked a girl in a kitchen, too. I've never fucked. Actually, I have fucked in the kitchen. In this kitchen?

This kitchen. God, no. Even I've never fucked in this kitchen. No. That's a great way to get ants in your orifices. Fuck, dude. Don't even think about having sex in this kitchen. Yeah, I've considered it before, but God, I'd rather be dead.

I think it was the kitchen in, you know, never mind, actually. I don't want my parents to get mad at me. Ah, well, I think we might have figured out where it was. I know, yeah. A meth kitchen. I bet they assumed. I'm not even 100% it was. I know, yeah. A meth kitchen. I bet they assumed. I'm not even 100% on that. It was actually the Taco Bell test kitchen.

Stuck the sour cream gun. While Keith was singing a song from his own Willy Wonka. She gave birth to a Crunchwrap Supreme, just perfectly folded. Come with me. They've got cheese. And a whole lot of enchiladas. We even offer carne asada.

Keith is wearing a golden suit. Like the burritos weren't the only things getting stuffed that night. I'll tell you that much. I'm wearing a suit made entirely of crunchy taco shell. Sorry, Doritos Loco taco shell. A Tapatio hat. It is a hat with the Tapatio logo on it. You and I both know Taco Bell does not subscribe to that good of a hot sauce.

Yeah, they got their own. His hat just has a catchy slogan on it, just like, take me home or whatever. Well, yeah, there's some weird, I don't know why this happened happened but all the taco bell sauce packets are trying to fuck yeah they are taco bell is honestly fucking trash man it's not good oh i disagree it's fine it's not good it's bad and i understand why it's got such a place in the fabric of america but i just if you didn't grow up with it you're never gonna fucking be a taco bell Bell guy. I agree with that. They got to get you young with Taco Bell. Taco Bell kid. Taco Bell kids, I think, are probably, like, you know how they break down.

Like, this group has a better advantage of a life and a college education and a good job. Taco Bell kids, that is not setting your kid up for success as much as not, like, kindergarten. You know what I mean? You're definitely starting in a hole if you make them Taco Bell kids. The opposite of Montessori school is a Taco Bell. Yes. You know how the Burger King Kids Club, they're all achievers, and they're all really good at their one thing they do?

Oh, yeah, they're going for it. The Taco Bell Kids Club is just six of that kid from Breaking Bad in the ATM episode. Dude, if you took your kids to Chick-fil-A as a fast food treat and not Taco Bell, they would all be selling real estate in preppy white. Yeah, they all work for Deloitte now. It would be like some suburb outside of Sacramento that was beautiful. Yeah, the Taco Bell Kids Club is just a lot of hard eyes and soft faces. That's really what it is. Taco, like, oh, man.

And you don't break the cycle. All right? If you're going to treat your children to fast food, what level do you start at? I would say. All right. So we're talking about fast food kids who grow up. Restaurants based on correlation of success in life. Yeah.

Yeah. I think Chipotle wasn't in the game when we were kids. Yeah. I think Chipotle. Chipotle is not like fast food. It's not like a treat. I'm talking about like a place with a drive-thru. All right.

We're talking grimy ass, like classic. Like In-N-Out, you know, like Farmer Boys. In-N-Out, I think is number one. These kinds of things. You know what I mean? I would say In-N-Out, number one. Yeah. Number two, I would say McDonald's.

If McDonald's is your treat. Yeah, that's fine. McDonald's is set their game up. Burger King and Del Taco. Burger King should set their game up. Burger King and Del Taco? Burger King should be pretty far down. Burger King is disgusting. See, I think Burger King and Del Taco are kind of mid-range guys. I like Del Taco a lot.

Del Taco is my favorite. You know what it is? If you're a Del Taco kid, I can see you going to community college of your own merits and then becoming a middle manager somewhere. I'm a Del Taco kid, Jack in the Box kid, worked his way up. You know, because my parents, they were fucking Taco Bell kids, and they worked their way up so their kids could be Jack in the Box kids. I'm trying to keep the American dream chugging. I'm trying to get my kid up to fucking Wendy's, guys. Jack in the Box kid is the most white trash kid,

because that one is the cheapest. Just here's Swill for $3. I actually kind of like Jack in the Box. Jack in the Box is pretty gross. It's gotten gross as I've grown up. It's my favorite, but I actually kind of like Jack in the Box. Jack in the Box is pretty gross. It is. It's gotten gross as I've grown up. It's my favorite, but I was also a religious Jack in the Box kid.

Here's what I'm telling you, bro. Fucking the baseline, if you want success for your children's life, you don't need to get them into a private school. Public school is fine. Learn the ropes. It's a rough world. But take them to fucking Wendy's.

These kids deserve... Wendy's is better than Baby Mozart. Okay? If that is your treat, Wendy's does more to actually help than the Mommy and Me music class. Yeah. Well, their minds are expanded. Exactly. Okay. There's like Asian salad so I can know the mysteries of the Orient and chili.

And it tells them, you know what? Life can be good. Yeah. That's what they learn. Even your indulgences can taste okay. There you go. That's true, yeah. Or cookout.

I'm going to mention cookout for my second straight appearance on this podcast. You can't. It's on the East Coast and only the Southeast. I've been to the South like twice, and both times someone's tried to take me to the cookout. I've missed a few regional restaurants. Well, yeah, I didn't even have Jack in the Box or Del Taco or anything growing up because I was East Coast. That's true, man. You had some exotic delicacies from the Far East.

White Castle. You had stuff like that. You had exclusives, regional exclusives. I mean, I think I love like fucking In-N-Out. I love Farmer Boys, man. That's an underrated chain. Can I tell you a fun image from my childhood that i literally just remembered hit me is one time my mom came home i don't know where she was but she literally walked in the door with a bottle of vodka in one hand and a big bag of

jack-in-the-box tacos for the kids oh fuck and she literally just hits the vodka throws the bag of tacos into the living room me and my brothers just seize on them. I totally forgot about that until right now. Man, those are the great... That's why I want a family, man. You know? I do, bro. It's like, oh, my fucking little rats are doing their dumb shit that they do. Here's some fucking snacks.

Yeah. I'm going to go fight with my wife, head out to the garage, lift weights, and cry. And get ready to do secret gay shit in my 50s. Yeah. Oh, dude, I'm fucking... I'm going to be doing ass kegels throughout the pregnancy. I could see you American beautying. Like, you just snap and turn gay and murderous, like, when you get old. I could see that happening, man.

I mean, who knows? Yeah. I could, I'm going to break in some kind of direction at some point here. You know what I mean? Yeah, you are a zero direction man right now. There is going to, there is going to, are you are a zero direction man right now there is gonna there's gonna what do you mean zero direction sexually i feel like you're like very women but only because that's what i'm supposed to do jesus christ wow dude i kind of get it well

me and connor are very similar that's also i'm also on a zero-direction sexual man. You guys could be gay, right? You're truly insulting my love for pussy right now, is what you're doing. Is it a love? Yeah, it is, it is. Or is it like a Wendy's where it's like, yeah, this is fine, given the options available? No, I do really like it, yeah. You know, I've got my issues, but they've all gotten better. I get into it.

Me and pussy fought it out, but we're in a good place. No, everyone's got ups and downs with any relationship. Right. You know, and for me and my journey with Pussy, it's been a long road, but I like where we're at. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I'm feeling optimistic about the future. What a fruitful PussQuest.

It's been, you know what? I've gone on, I've done a little living. I've learned some things. He found the five secret coins in PussQuest, and now he's got like the bonus levels. You know what? I've done a little living. I've learned some things. He found the five secret coins in Puss Quest, and now he's got the bonus levels. I'm 26 years old. I'm very wise. His fucking stats are so high. I'm not going to try anymore.

I've gathered many experience points. I'm equipped with numerous spells. I feel competent to handle the world ahead of me. You know what I mean? I feel the same way. I've really mastered missionary, and I haven't tried anything else yet, but I feel pretty confident in missionary now. That's good, man.

Missionary is under, you know. Fundamentals, dude. Fundamentals. I'm the Tim Duncan of sex. I'm never going to dunk. You're carrying the rest of hitting that ball. Yeah. No, missionary is underrated.

It's nice. I've got to bounce my dick off the backboard, but it's going in. Will Chamberlain came in and took all the pussy whenever he played. You know what we could really do was hit from mid-range. Yeah. We were fucking dynamite. Bank shots every time. I love bank shots, man.

They really communicate with me. You know, a bank shot, satisfying. This metaphor just fell off the rails. I don't even know what we're talking about anymore. I think we're just talking about basketball now. We also just hit the same long sentence at the same time. I don't even know what we're talking about, man. Fuck, dude.

Dude, bro. What? All right. So that was great podcasting. We'll be right back right after this, ladies and gents. This is a Mimbleless podcast. This podcast is brought to you by Himalaya. Yeah, Himalaya is the

number good podcasting app on all of the websites. It's got the sleek, easy-to-use interface. It makes it very convenient to find your favorite show. Oh, hello! I am Mr. L and I am here to tell you about Himalaya podcasting app. First of all, why the fuck

is this the first time you've ever said, this is Mr. Ear and I'm ear to tell you about. Why did you have to do an accent that was from a country that doesn't exist to get to that first thing you should have thought of pun? The country is the motherland. And the mother of sound is Himalaya. Let's steer away from motherland. Yeah, Himalaya is a free podcasting app,

unaffiliated with any pro-white organizations. And you can download it with the link in the show notes. It's not pro-white. It's pro-mother. And I am Mr. Himalaya has no knowledge or wants no part of this riff. I got to figure Himalaya stands by the mothers of America. Yes.

It would be pretty weird if a business didn't. Well, they might stand by mothers, but Himalaya is the big daddy of the podcasting app community. Oh, yeah. Yep. They have a playlist function. You can like and comment on your favorite shows. More places to interact, get into arguments, accrue social points to tell your coworkers that you're a meaningless job.

You know, I got six likes on my Burtcast quip. You know? Look at the hearts that define me. You can leave comments in communist English. Communist English? You mean Twitter? Mr. Ear does not know how to do accents. But the point is, we're here to tell you how great Hebele is.

Yep, just we. Mr. Ear and his pals. Mr. Ere and his pals. Mr. Ere and the rats. And his two sidekicks, the dudes who were German up until a minute ago. Mr. Ere and the lobes. Yes. We are playing this Saturday. It would be great if you could come.

Indeed, we both play this since. I have been flaring the streets and shining my keytar. It is loud, but not enjoyable. Oh, sausages. It is about to show you're not paying $20 for it. Indeed. It is not good to listen to, like, the podcast in the Himalayas. Yeah, you can leave tips.

You can create a playlist. Here is a tip. Abandon hope. Yeah. Yeah. So check out the Himalaya app. I think we've told you everything you need to know. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can jump back in on on this actually because i think this is worth talking about fucking did you guys see the oj video that he just posted no what did he do i just here's here's the problem it's not oj doing crazy people shit it's oj's take on like gun control and current politics and the problem with it is that he's pretty right whoa yeah woke oj is not a fucking turn I was ready for. That's crazy. Yeah, he does this whole thing like, you know, like thoughts and prayers for everybody. And he kind of tells this really sort of eloquent story about like, you know, Germany, you know, came out of World War I.

And the economy was booming after the Great Depression. They were building things and the factories were thriving. And obviously we know now it's because they were building U-boats and tanks and they were preparing for what was going to happen. But what grew with the thriving economy was hatred. And he's like, you look around now, and you're like, our economy is good, and that's great. Thank God for that. But the hatred is coming, too. And we've got to stop that, and we've got to call out the people who are doing these kinds of things

and the hate in our society. And I'm like, fuck, O.J.'s right. Well, that's very eloquent, but not true at all. Their economy was famously very bad in the Weimar Republic, and that's why Hitler came to power. Oh, well, then fuck off. I don't know enough about Hitler. Here's the thing. Honestly, a man confidently said a thing into a camera, and I thought, well, that makes sense.

Yeah, the Treaty of Versailles fucked Germany's economy until basically World War II, until right up to it. It sounded wrong to me, but I'm a little high, so I was like, fuck, dude, OJ's got bars. Regardless, even if he's wrong, well, I mean, this is worth pointing out. He's right. And it's hard to believe. OJ may be wrong. And I should have known that because I forgot about the funniest part at the beginning when he goes, I'm a history buff. I watch all the shows about history.

That's funny. Rick and Morty. Who the fuck? We need to talk about Knife control Mr. Simpson How about that I'd rather drink blood Than fucking Read the comments

On this thing But I guarantee you Somebody is not ironically Calling OJ Simpson An SJW right now I bet they are man Stabbed his Jezebel wife OJW

Yeah I'm an OJW Or a thought justice warrior Or a thought justice warrior Like what if OJ came out Publicly justice warrior. Or a justice warrior. Like, what if OJ came out publicly and was just like, listen, trans lives matter. Oh, God. What is everyone supposed to do with that? I don't know, man.

I mean, I guess you got to look. The Juice is having a tough time right now. And he's doing his best to communicate with us while he, you know, charts these new waters. I'm with him while he develops his online voice and brand. He's still getting used to being single. It would be a very savvy move for you to pay OJ to come out and espouse the exact opposite

of your political beliefs. If you paid OJ like $10,000 just to be like, listen, I think illegal immigrants should be deported. Big win for Democrats. This might fucking be the end game, dude. OJ might be an op. Who the fuck is paying OJ to do anything?

You know what I mean? If you're the Koch brothers, you should be buying OJ a build that wall t-shirt right now. This is a fucking interesting... Or a don't build that wall t-shirt, right? Because aren't they... I thought they were sort of the Democrat version of the evil guy. No, no, they've been Republicans for a long time. I thought they were the... You're thinking of George Soros. That's no. They've been Republicans for a long time. I thought they were the...

You're thinking of George Soros. That's exactly who I'm thinking of. I'm not very smart. That's okay. Well, dude, OJ, I mean... I know enough about everything to kind of sound like I know what I'm talking about as long as I'm not talking to any smart people. Well, I'm just like one level above that. So no one's here to call me out on my bullshit.

I am garage smart. You know what I mean? Bunch of guys hanging out late in the garage, a little fucked up. Keith's real smart. Yeah. You get him in like a library. All those classic debates in libraries. You're going to.

He's high in the nearest chili. You put Keith on the Algonquin round table. You're better with menus. I got pictures of the food. I get excited. Man. I just texted to Weird Al, and I'm like, food for thought. Really getting into some fucking lazy comedy territory, and I love it.

It's nice to have some chips and sour cream dip at the end of a long week. What if that means it's not the jacuzzi of comedy? Well, you know what you want to read is a menu. And you go, yeah, that's good. That's all it has to be. Speaking of lazy comedy, we want to do these jokes. Oh, yeah. It's time for the Mexican Joke.

Ay, so topical. We've never done that in unison before. I know. I'm going to take us away with the best joke I've ever written in my life. A former bachelorette gave birth in a walk-in closet. The walk-in closet said, ooh, it's a boy. Wow. It's a walk-in closet.

Oh, Jesus. You have him, the baby. That would be a great. Connor pitched that at the show, and you saw our head writer almost fire him. He looked so mad at you. It was funny because your walk your walking impression was so bad, I didn't realize what the joke was for like a solid 10 seconds. Wow.

Wow. Ooh. I don't know what happened. I thought you were doing a Spanish voice. I thought you were being like, Adios mio. Bro, you will respect my comedy. Don't they ask your shoes?

They're in me. I'm a closet fucker fucking hang your shirts in me and shit dude yeah bro i'm not doing mexican closets i don't want to i don't think it's a bad idea it's a pretty good idea dude yeah you can put your like spicy candy and shit in there too if you want. I've never had a good Cholo guy voice really, which is surprising. It's the easiest impression to do.

I'm a big Cholo comedian. It's 900% cadence. I've loved entertaining Cholos for a good long while. Doing a Cholo voice, it's like doing a Shatner where it's like you don't have to be able to do it well. You just have to be able to do it well enough that people get it. Yeah, man.

Well, anyway, the closet said, oh, it's a boy. Oh, it's a fucking niño, dude. That's us for boy. Oh, no. All right. Well, I should probably follow that with something even more racist. A protest of the GEO group scheduled for this monday by a group called jews against ice of course jews don't like ice it just takes up space it means you get less

soda for your dollar taking them down choosing ice is just such a specific like it's great that they're doing it i guess but i don't know i mean i guess i've really never seen Jewish people have an opinion about ice, like ice cubes. Right. You know what I mean? That seems like one of those finicky things. It hurts their teeth. Yeah. Yeah.

It hurts my teeth, man. They like that weird chipped ice you only get at the hospital. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know that for sure, but it seems like something a Jew would like. And I was like, what the fuck are we doing with this chipped ice? Like, we live in America. Yeah.

What the fuck is this? As the most Jewish person in this room. Hey, I forgot. Not totally Jewish. Jewish enough. Jewish enough. Certainly enough that if I hadn't said this, no one would have second-guessed my confident assertion that it hurts their teeth. Well, yeah, you're Jewier than the fucking Ubermensch and the uncircumcised one.

Like, it's a low bar to clear. To your point. Oh, yeah. Okay, my joke. Oh. Ooh. Oh low bar to clear. To your point. Oh, yeah. Okay, my joke. Oh. Ooh. Oh. Time for jokes.

A police chase in Playa del Rey. Ooh, the police are after this man. Wow. I hope the police... The police... It's not a good impression. Feliz Navidad. Ooh.

Feliz Navidad. You said the police with an F. With unarmed suspects, because it's Christmas time. What? It's Foles Navidad. Oh, okay. Foles Navidad. Bang, bang, bang, sirens.

Foles Navidad. Hurting people that are innocent. You call the cops and then we shoot your dog. I want to choke a guy selling cigarettes. Jesus. Oh, my God. From the bottom of my heart. Police Navidad.

Police Navidad. Get on the fucking floor. Police Navidad. We are a militarized organization. We're going to come into your house and take your children. Come into your house and take your children. For some reason, we have tanks instead of normal cars. Police?

Yeah, the body can't malfunction. I don't know. You guys, I like the idea that this podcasting riff becomes the Woody Guthrie protest song that sweeps the nation. This podcast mildly inconveniences fascists. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Police Navidad. You know what, man?

That was like Dylan. It was the same thing. Yeah. Well, this joke is not going to be able to follow that at all. A police chase in Playa del Rey ended with a suspect driving his car into the ocean. The suspect didn't get away, but he did get the police offers. He's really excited for Hobbs and Shaw in theaters now. Oh, yeah, dude.

Hobbs and Shaw. I wonder if they're going to have the chemistry of the whole crew, you know? You guys fashion the Furious guys? I don't. They're the only two guys that are famous outside of those movies. That's a good point. Because Vin Diesel doesn't really do anything else. Vin Diesel's famous outside of those movies.

But what was the last thing he did that anyone gave a shit about? Guardians of the Galaxy. That barely counts. He said three words, man. That's very important. God, that motherfucker made millions of dollars just going, I am Groot. What a nice job. Yeah.

Pretty cool. And then they heavily altered his voice. Yeah. Yeah. It could have been anybody, too. That's true. You could have been Groot. Yeah.

I would love to see the raw, I am Groot voice. You know what I mean? He kind of sounds like that, to be fair. He does kind of sound like that. It's the same way. Like, you ever see the Iron Giant? Yeah. He plays the Iron Giant.

Yeah. I know, man. And you watch it and you're like, oh. That's something people love to point that out to you. It seems like a thing you might not know. It's the most known, littlest known fact. I'm not saying you're doing it, but people do love going, well, yeah, man. Of course you can play Groot.

He was in the Iron Giant. And then you're supposed to go, whoa, my pussy. Can't wait to be destroyed. I was not trying to lubricate your pussy. Whoa, bend me over and fuck me, movie guy. What, you mean Red Apple cigarettes are in all his movies? Plow me. Let me just read you IMDB for a moment.

Oh, my God. Dude, that's foreplay. When fucking Tom said, oh, he was in an episode of Ur. Oh, it's probably pronounced D-R. That was one of the funniest things. I forgot about that. Oh, shit. It's your turn, buddy.

Oh, okay. I thought you were going to read me IMDB. Well, it's Spider-Man Day today. So if you don't wear red, people in the office will come up and jizz all over your face. It's Spider-Man St. Patrick's Day. It's a real thing, apparently. Spider-Man Day. You get to jizz on people.

Is that part of it? Yeah, I just thought it'd be funny to imagine a Black Mirror episode where that becomes a tradition. Uh-oh! Thwip! And you gotta be like, oh my god, my son was in the hospital last night and I didn't have time to change. Can you please just not jizz on my face?

It's Spider-Man Day. Oh, jeez. All right. A new trend has emerged of women cooling off in the summer by putting popsicles in their vaginas. Bad news for gynecologists, but great news for ants.

Just a pussy full of ants. Yeah, just popsicles in your pussy or fucking in our kitchen. Either way, you're going to get a pussy full of ants. You're going to get a pussy full of ants. I was reading the article about that, and it's just this exasperated doctor. I think one of the phrases he uses is, I can't believe I have to say this, but don't fuck yourself with a popsicle. You know what I've been enjoying? This is my first week podcasting publicly as a late night television comedy writer.

And I've just been absolutely fucking bombing. So people are just going to go, oh, that's the bar. I'm going to get too high and make a complete ass of myself. I have never seen your podcast this high. I'm not really that high. I'm just a little goofy. And I keep trying to. There's nothing wrong with it.

You're fine. What if we did a goofy bit? We are doing a goofy bit. And I'm like, Connery, this is why you don't You're fine. What if we just, what if we did a goofy bit? And I'm like, Connor, this is why you don't do this ever. What are you talking about? All we do is goofy. This was fun. You're bringing it down. You're getting paranoid. No, man. You're getting

paranoid, man. It feels like a basketball team. O.J. Simpson is an op. This is a basketball team who won the game doing their post-game interview, but one guy is acting like they lost for some reason. That will be me when I become a fucking an NBA title winner. Oh, of course.

That's the next move? Well, first of all, it is. You beat comedy, so now you're going to go join the NBA. I'm taller than Steph Curry, which means I'll be one inch better than him.

You are exactly as tall as Steph Curry, aren't you? He's 6'3". Oh, you're 6'4", that's right. I am, yeah. Well, you can also not shoot at all, so you have some

obstacles to overcome. Give me like a summer, I could learn. Probably the rest of this summer I could get it. Are we making more basketball promises we're not going to deliver on? Yes, we are. And when I do win the championship, I'm going to be sitting like I could have done better. That's a message I want to pass on to my adorable fans.

Achieve everything and never be happy. I want the mini-golfing children to learn that life can only be propelled by the force of pain inflicted upon yourself from your own bad attitudes. These are the keys, children. DJ Khaled is a lie. Jesus.

Is it your turn? Yeah. A tourist died at Yellowstone National Park after... Yellowstone Navidad. A tourist died at Yellowstone National Park after slipping at the top of a waterfall. Bystanders said the man kept running for a few seconds in midair before looking down and realizing he wasn't standing on anything and instantly falling to his death. Wow.

They knew he was in trouble because he held up a sign that said, uh-oh. Well, guys, the trailer for Martin Scorsese's new film, The Irishman, is out now. It's coming out on Netflix, and they're going to put it on the other side of the site as Sean the Sheep for safety reasons. The Irish fuck sheep. They do, yeah. Is that a stereotype? Yeah, man.

I've never heard that. I've only heard that about New Zealanders. No, any country that's a green island with white people, they fuck sheep. Yeah. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Well, they look at each other, and they're like, ugh, no thank you. If you live on an island, it's beautiful, and you're a white person, the people talk

about you fucking cheap. That makes sense. Okay. I beg you to find an example that doesn't apply. Oprah just did an interview where she revealed what she would eat for her last meal. Her answer, the poor. Just consume them live. I'd watch that.

Is Oprah, like, bad? Oprah hasn't been doing a lot lately, I feel like. Oprah's been playing a little pro. Yeah. But I don't think you get that rich and keep your hands clean. No, I don't think so either. Well, we've got to be careful what we say about my close personal friend, Oprah Winfrey. Oh, dude, did you meet her?

I was on her television network once three years ago. Wow, dude. What did you do on the Oprah network? I did two minutes of clean stand-up. You did stand-up on the Oprah network, and we're just now finding this out? As far as I know, I'm the only person to ever do stand-up on the Oprah network. So you have the fakest-seeming credit you could possibly have? Yeah, I know.

It's like maybe the least useful credit you could have in stand-up. It sounds like a bit. Unless you were trying to get booked on, like, Nick Moms, which is what I do. Okay. Not good, not bad. Someone I did not know made an edit of it where they just edited out all the laughter and made it seem like I was bombing. And for a long time, that was the top result for me on YouTube.

Whoa, dude, that sucks. Was it an anti-fan edit of you eating shit? No, it wasn't even like a guy he's like hey thanks so much for letting me do this your set was actually very funny i just thought it'd be funny to do this i'm like yeah that's great and then i had to message him like two years later being like hey man love the video very funny can you just take my name off it i would just take it down man but yeah i get it fuck uh anyway uh come on come on dude you're slowing down the flow i'm slowing i keep ruining the flow hey kevin spacey uh kevin spacey made a rare public appearance at to recite a poem at an

art gallery in rome spectators said they had never seen a more emotional reading of i'm rubber you're glue man we watched that video and like no one has ever understood less how to make a comeback into the world. He's like, I know what the people want. A gay man in a brown suit reading poetry. And it was also like that'll make him forget hauntingly devilish like all of his many beloved characters. And you're like, this is the wrong. You may only have one move in this. This ain't the one.

You know what I mean? Like, don't read everything he's tried to say publicly since he got accused of all that shit. Sounds like a supervillain's big monologue at the end of the movie. You know what I honestly just realized I want to see more than anything? What's that? It's like The Expendables, but it's only made by foreign living sex crime exiled American Me Too guys. Okay. So it's like Roman Polanski directs a film starring Kevin Spacey and Louis C.K.

You know what I'm saying? Sure, I like that. The Cancelled. Harvey Weinstein produces. There you go. It takes place in New York City. R. Kelly does the soundtrack. In black and white.

R. Kelly has an original song. You know what I'm saying? That would be an amazing television event. Morgan Spurlock is in it for some reason. Oh yeah, Morgan Spurlock after canceling himself.

Yeah, he Me Too'd himself. Has a small cameo. You could tell when he posted that to me he was trying to just get out in front of it and he's like, well, I'm copping to it,

I'm good. And everyone's like, no, no. He has a funny self-referential brief cameo where he rides by in a Vespa scooter and says like, I'm not joining the gang. And then...

Oh! That would be... Scarf billowing in the wind. That would be a huge movie. Kevin Spacey really... We need to see the lighter side of him. Say what you want about O.J., but we did see the lighter side of O.J. after the whole trial. Kevin Spacey still only has one gear right now.

He's just going hard. Yeah. He's got to hard. Yeah. He's got to take a page out of the Al Pacino book. Your serious actor days are over. Now you've got to be funny. Now you've got to be in Jack and Jill. Yeah.

We need to see Kevin and Slevin. Kevin and Slevin. Wow. You've got to start moving to the, I've got nipples, can you milk me, Greg? Phase of your career. Absolutely. All right, guys. career. Absolutely. Alright, guys. Fuck.

Italy. No, not Italy. Related. A bishop says that homosexuality is passed on to children by mothers having anal sex while pregnant. And I just think it sucks that's how I had to find out my mom is a prude. I'm not gay, which means that my mom wasn't cool.

Well, we already know exactly how you were conceived. How's that? You remember your... Oh, I'm a doggy style baby. Yeah, his mom confirmed that he was a conceived doggy. Huh. I know, yeah. I just said I wanted to have one kid with a doggy style baby and one like a cowgirl baby

and raise them as an experiment to see if their personalities are different. My mom said the doggy style baby would be a quote huge disappointment. So that's how I had to find out. Damn. I forgot about that time your mom gave you that deal. My dad and I have the same favorite sex position. Cats in the cradle

and the silver spoon. Kenny Mixbat and Connor and Bust in the poon. Yes, there you go. The World Dog Surfing Championship is this weekend. It will be immediately followed by the World Series of Recovering Drowned Dogs. Ha, ha, ha, ha. A man was arrested in a Spanish airport after authorities discovered $34,000 worth of cocaine hidden under a comically oversized toupee. This guy managed to blow his cover and cover his blow at the same time.

Fuck. That's a great joke. That is a spinning bow tie Johnny Carson golf club swing ass joke. I love it. Jack Parr actually did that joke originally. Guys, a man was arrested for masturbating in a field of horses. And also it's something about Hilary Swank's family reunion. All right, that's lunch, everybody.

That's lunch. Well, we got about 50 minutes in before Connor actively stopped giving a shit. No, I didn't have time to purge. Look at all my different lists. Okay, I got one about Elvis's ass. I was talking over the weekend about, like, if there was an auction, how much do you think Hitler's ass would sell? Like, if you could prove that you had the ass of Adolf Hitler. What are we talking when we're talking the ass?

Is it the bone of the ass or, like, the actual juicy meat of the ass? Exactly. As much of his ass as could possibly survive. It can only be bone. It can only be bone at this point. Yeah, his ass bones. His bones would still be a curiosity. Yeah, fuck.

Hitler's bones, I think it's like millions of dollars. Oh, it's definitely millions. Who's getting it for 800 bucks? I don't know. I feel like all the people who love Hitler don't have money. What about people that love science or something? Like, we're going to find out if he really was Jewish. We're going to find out if his ass was evil.

What made this ass the evilest ass? I guess, who are the top? First of all, I'm going to say $10 million. For Hitler's ass? I mean, his car went for, what, $30 million? That's a lot. You can't drive an ass. Yeah, but his...

His ass is the man. Keith wants to describe having sex as feeling like a, quote, tugboat captain piloting a tremendous ass. I'll have you know, I was talking about having sex with a lady with a big ass, and I described it as being a yacht captain, because you've got hands over here and over here. Oh, okay, that's right. And the wheel's really big, so you've got to be careful. Yeah. See, as a missionary man, I know nothing of what you're speaking of. You've got to flip it around, dude.

I've tried. I can't do it. Why can't you do it? I don't know. I feel like you have to have a really big dick. You do not have to have a big dick to fuck on the back. You've got to figure out your angles. Yeah, well, you've just got to put your dick in there is basically how it works. That is the long and short of it.

I'm having a real problem with that. It would be, find ass, put your dick inside. I would say take the time and give it a whirl. I mean, I don't know. Also, if you guys are happy. That's true. I don't want to tell you how to live your life. Some gals don't like doggy style. I want to mix it up at some point, but

I just can't seem to get... Anyway, your bit... Sorry. Sorry about that. That's okay. You can cut that out if you want. No, it's fine. You brought up your doggy style. I brought it up. It was me. Yeah.

Anyway, what do you think would sell for more Hitler's ass or the gun they used to kill Hitler? I don't know. What about as a set? There you go. The hunter and the hunted. Gun and ass. I'm just imagining like a home shopping network thing. It's like, call now.

You'll also get the gun. It's like my favorite King of the Hill joke. Dale on the phone. How do I know it's Jack Ruby's hat? Okay, what colors does it come in? Fucking amazing. I think we're done. He has to do one. I have to do one.

Wow. O for fucking five, guys. Shit. you had a couple good ones the new season of american horror story is going to take place in the 80s who do you think who do you guys think the bad guy will be my money's on the challenger way back in the 1980s you really love 1980s it makes me laugh man why did you try to put that in a thousand things i just it's i don't know man it's just i'm not mad at it it's funny the 1980s. It makes me laugh, man. Why did you try to put that in a thousand things? I just, it's, I don't know, man. It's just funny. I'm not mad at it.

It's funny. It's the 1980s. It's cute. It's a good Jeff Ross-y kind of a joke, you know? What 80s sounds like if there was a cartoon mascot against AIDS. Yeah. Like if there was like that dare lie, like a Scruff McGruff for not getting HIV. 80s just sounds like a gay award show.

Hey, it's the Ton HIV. A.T.S. just sounds like a gay award show. It's the Tonys. The A.T.S. No, I like that the Tonys are just about a bunch of Italian guys celebrating each other's lives. And for making the best white pie on the whole South Side, Von Tony Diggalagano. And the award for outstanding achievement in shouting out a window on the 12th floor goes to the fattest Tony. The section of Technical Awards is like,

best clothes line between building laundry drying goes to... Wow. And the winner for best slapping his wife goes to... They open up a fucking pizza receipt. They open like a full pizza box.

Yeah. Tony's Award Show. That's a big honor. It's actually called the Famous Original Tony's. There's another award show called Tony's Number One. Absolutely, yeah.

You gotta get out, Tony's. There's something in the likes it. Oh, yeah. Absolutely, yeah. You got to get on, Tony. There's something in the water. It's right across the street from fucking Tony's original award show. Famous Tony's digital awards. And now the fucking in memoriam reel. The neighborhood when the black family moved in. Oh, jeez. My mama sauce.

My mama. A potentially habitable super-Earth named Planet GJ357D has been discovered. This is a huge moment in the world of astronomy, said the planet's discoverer, Dr. Stephen GJ357D. Wow, that's fun. Super-Earth? Yeah, that's what they said. That's a real XKCD comic of a joke. Damn, that's a real reference. Yeah, man, I used to read webcomics.

I did too. I had a webcomic. Did you? What? I wanted to start one. It was fucking bad. My parents, God bless them, they printed out three of the better webcomics from that comic and they're hanging in our house to this day.

That's fucking cool. Wow, what a nice gesture. Did you ever get any traction? I want to be a cartoonist so bad what was it called anywhere uh it was on drunk duck which is like a web comic hosting service for like bad webcomics sounds vaguely familiar yeah so it may still be on there yeah it was called random ramblings which was just named after an internet forum i was on very creative we did not come up with our own name let me guess what it was about. It was about roommates, but they're snarky. Yes, and they play video games.

Oh, do they really? You better believe they play video games. I read some weird ones. I read No Fourth Wall to Break was a weird one. I revisited it as an adult, and I was like, this is not very good. And Toothpaste for Dinner and some of that shit. Dr. McNinja. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal had some funny stuff. Yeah. not very good and toothpaste for dinner and some of that yeah yeah dr mcninja sunday morning

saturday morning breakfast cereal had some funny stuff yeah yeah uh the um uh what's the cyanide and happiness stuff oh yeah those are some fun ones i i read the bad ones i read like real life which is again just like snarky guy plays video games that's like my whole thing yeah man i don't even play video games that's the weirdest part of it if you knew how to control out the leap but they couldn't draw? Yeah. I knew how to animate the glowing screen of a mom's TV in a webcomic. You had a fucking career back in the early 2000s.

A real golden age for the mildly talented. I know. This girl I fucking knew. Truly the renaissance of the mediocre white man. That's all I knew in middle school. And we had to be toppled, and I'm happy about the revolution. Because this is peak white, like, fucking dominance in the global world and economy.

And fucking the art was bad. We can't be left to our own devices. Web comics are the fucking white part of the pimple of what we did to American media. And yeah, there was one where it was just like, okay, these are characters from Final Fantasy games. I remember that one. They eat muffins and it sucks.

God, what was that one called? I don't remember. I looked it up recently. It's fucking horse shit. Ah, man. And this girl that I was friends with, she liked whatever video games and stuff, was like, oh, you gotta check it out.

I'm like, fuck, dude. This is about where I tap out, lameness-wise. I can't get into this. Yep. I can't get into this. Yep. I can't go for that. Well, we tried to get a conversation going. We did. We did.

Petered out. That's okay. Over and out. We'll be right back. And the Mean Boys podcast returns. Take a look at your questions, your tweets, your voicemails, all that good shit. It's the Mean Boys Mailbag. It's the Mean Boys mailbag as always tweet us your shit at mean boys podcast you can send on instagram or you can

leave us a voicemail 304-805-MEAN. Yeah. At Lunchbox2 says, if you had Superman type powers, would you be like Superman or like Homelander on The Boys? I don't know what that is. Or straight up evil. Wait, what? If I had Superman powers?

If you had Superman powers, would you be good, evil, or somewhere in the middle? Like, what is your move? Oh, I think I would try to be good, you know? I don't think I'd be actively evil. I think I would be a very indecisive Superman You know what I mean? Because I would want to apply my Abilities to service the greatest

Moral imperative of the earth But I wouldn't really know Do I go collect all the nuclear weapons? What's my move? I would be good I've never I think the one really good move you could do Is just denuclearize

Denuke the earth And I would have to use my super never... I think the one really good movie you could do is just denuclearize. Denuke the Earth. And I would have to use my super fastness to always be patrolling everywhere. And it would become some kind of hell. That's what I'm saying. It's going to be a full-time job if you're going to go like super good guy Superman. But I mean, wouldn't that be my duty? I mean, then I could take a break to have sex with a girl in an ice cave.

Yeah, no, I would be... I think everyone would understand. Everybody knows women love being cold, so they'll think that's great. Well, I'll have fucking Kryptonian technology warming the place, even though it's up in the North Pole. Kryptonian technology, not to be confused with a heater.

Yeah, that's pretty much... It could just be a regular-ass heater. Well, they had them up there, and they made them a lot better, so I brought them in. I'm assuming this is just us with superpowers. It's not like we're from Krypton or whatever. It's just like if you were given the courage.

I said Superman specifically, but I'm sure you're just talking about Superman powers. Okay, yeah, I would be good because I've never even chosen in a game where you get to be good or evil. I've never even tried evil. I never go bad either. I'm too afraid. I always go bad. No, I can't do it. I'd be good, but I'd be like a very glory hog Superman where I'd be like, I did it again.

I'm fucking awesome. You're welcome, everybody. Thank you. You can have sex with me if you so choose. I would be that kind of Superman. I feel like you would be the most. I like that even your braggadocious, like, cocky version is still, if you wouldn't mind, you are allowed to have sex with me.

Well, I'm a very consent-based Superman. Well, yeah, I didn't imply that you should race. I don't like a Superman that's flying around. Like, is everybody proud of me? Yeah. Do you guys see? Do you love me now, Dad?

I stopped the asteroid. Check it out. Come on. Who wants to have sex? I would still try to do stand-up. It'd be very bad. You guys know? Everybody's just losing

their mind about it because they don't want you to fucking vaporize them with your eyeballs. What's the deal with Electro? You somehow get $80 million to do a Netflix special. Everyone's always like, cheese is my kryptonite. You know what my kryptonite is? Kryptonite. Am I right, people?

And cheese. You also have lactose intolerance. You're like Superman. You're like, Superman can't do black beans superman stays away from the bread if you know what i'm saying yeah i think i'd go i'd probably keep it under wraps and i'd do good guy shit but i'd do it on the sly because i don't want everyone wanting shit from me you don't want to be the guy with the truck who's got to move the couch exactly i don't want to have to be superman 24 hours day. And also, I don't think I'm, you know, my morality is necessarily all the way right.

Sure, yeah. You know, and it's weird. Like, if you had God power. I don't know. You have a strong morality. I mean, I don't think I do it. Most of the, with all, with everything important. Here's what I'll say.

When I am not, don't have my back against the wall like a fucking rat, I have pretty good morality. True. You know what I mean? But Keith is, above all else, a survivor. Yeah. If I, with the financial, look, I'd probably steal a bunch of shit just to make sure I had money, but not, like, directly from a bank. They're insured.

Everybody's fine. And if you save the world, you're entitled to steal. Yeah. That's what I would think. Because, you know. You think, oh, I'd save the world and get rich. Well, who pays you for saving the world? Exactly.

We barely pay for, like, 9-11 firefighters. No. We're not going to pay Superman. So you're going to have save the world and get rich. But who pays you for saving the world? Exactly. We barely pay for like 9-11 firefighters. No. So you're going to have to pay yourself. Yeah. You know? Right. When I come down to the basement, you have the Hope Diamond in the motivation. What if I'm stealing like low-priced shit for very expensive, like I'm stripping copper

wiring out of the White House? That would be the place to strip it. Rob the gift shop at the Louvre. Oh, the Republicans. He just clears out the sharper image. I've got magnets to sell. I've got a fan with no blade. Wow, man, sharper image.

Weird sand. I like the way it feels. What if a chair could squeeze your butt? Bluetooth in pools. This is heroically stealing useless. 52-year-old, rich, middle-class, domestic shit. The last love sack in North America. Oh. Best love sack in North America.

Mr. Party Beer asks, why does Isaac look like the singer for Real Big Fish? There's something I find in music. He's really got my vibe down pretty well. Yeah, it's 100% accurate. Yeah, you're a big ska dude. I love ska, dude. You show me like, I thought I knew whatever ska was. And then Isaac's like, fucking, are you really ready to skank? You are like little baby. Watch this this check out edna's goldfish this is this is this is some third wave

sky not even like a deep because i feel like beyond the surface level of ska guys there's two different like deep ska guys there's a guy who's really into like jamaican shit yeah like the actual first wave stuff yeah and then there's like the guy who's really into the even worse third wave yeah what was the second wave of ska you know what's funny is i've never known no it's the english beat it's like the the british bands from like the 80s and the 90s yeah yeah like the early 90s with the jam and shit yeah exactly they'd be considered kind of yeah it's not quite there yeah but like the english beats like the big one i can think of madness yeah madness is second wave exactly yeah basically when the white man got yeah. Basically when the white man got their hands on Scott. When the white man got their hands on Scott the first time.

And then third wave is the second time they did it. Third wave is the really white guys got their hands on him. Man, Smash Mouth perfected it. At least the Madness had met a black guy. I think there's a couple in the band. Madness is all white, actually. Really? Yeah.

I'm thinking of the specials. The specials have black guys. English Meat has a couple black guys. Okay. Good for them. Yeah. I'm happy for them specials. The specials have black guys. English Meat has a couple black guys. Okay. Good for them. Yeah. I'm happy for them.

Good for them. At Death Radio says, Has 2019 been blessed with a horny summer for the Mean Boys? Because last summer was officially our horny summer. That was officially the horny summer of Mean Boys. How's horny summer going this year for everybody? You know what, man? It's a knife guy summer this time. Yeah?

Yeah. I actually haven't really been throwing knives. But spiritually, it's a knife guy summer this time. Yeah? Yeah. I actually haven't really been throwing knives. But spiritually, it's a knife guy summer. Gotcha, gotcha. I've just been enjoying. I've been chilling out a little bit, you know? Just fucking, just catching a break. Well, not really working more than I ever have.

But catching a break from some of the drama of my regular stand-up comedy life. Right. To just enjoy and cultivate my Asperger's. You know? And it's been good. Yeah, I've had a... It's weird because I'm, you know, with one person now,

but I'm having a good horny summer with that person. Like, I fucked in four states this summer. Wow. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it's been a luxurious summer. And if you look at the quarter map downstairs, you'll see...

There's a little bit of poop he fucked out of his girlfriend that dabs oh jeez the states he's visiting well i don't and that's never ever happened with you guys ever pristine every time wow yeah you gotta marry your man i think i have a great girl for for me i fucking runs clean like a tesla uh sorry jordan i'm sorry jordan i'm sure your butthole is great it just seems like if you're He just fucking runs clean like a Tesla. Sorry, Jordan. I'm sorry, Jordan. I'm sure your butthole is great. It just seems like if you're doing it, you guys don't do anal, though.

I don't feel like I'm at liberty to have this conversation. Well, that's a good point. Yeah. But, yeah, I don't know. I've never really done it. One time, an accident, but two seconds. For me, it's been the summer of ants, I would say. Okay.

The horniness, I mean, I live in an open space, so my jacking off has really been curtailed by the fact that I don't have private moments anymore. Right. So it's kind of weird, because now whenever I nut, it's only because I'm having sex. Now whenever I nut,

it's only from sexual intercourse, Peggy. Hey, I'm busting. Now, whenever I nut, it's only from sexual intercourse, Peggy. Hey, I'm busting a nut. Oh, busting. Hey, Dad. I'm busting in my sleep again. Dang it, Bobby. What have I told you about the bathroom method?

I know, Dave. You gotta yank discreetly. Yeah. I've been letting too much cum build up in the old ballaroos. Then you start going like, why can't I crouch? Oh, okay.

I'm sitting on fucking time bombs. They look like a cartoon briefcase with papers coming out of the side of them. Here comes the bus. Ka-ploo. Oh, there's too much business in there. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah.

Comes out coagulated and sticky. Oh, God. Gack. Yeah. We got any voicemails? I don't know where the court is. Ah, terrific. And, yeah.

Hey, Mean Boys, big fan. Love everything you're doing. I just want to, you know, when I go to the racism factory every day, I love listening to you guys. Just want to say, Connor, if you were a Yu-Gi-Oh card, what card would you be? Anyway, here's a story for five minutes. Hey, everybody. It's the fucking, it's the dingus from Duluth. I just want to say, would you rather fart butts

or piss poop? Hey, this is Laryngicus from the forums and the Discord. My cousin's ex-boyfriend came to your show in Saskatoon, and I think he met

Rectangle Larry, and I haven't heard from them. So if you could retweet my tweet, I'm worried about Rectangle Larry. I don't know where I'm going with this. Rectangle Larry. Rectangle Larry is trans. Dude, I'm... Rectangle Larry.

I can't do the podcast. Hi. It's been pretty fun to watch. Yeah. I mean, I'm just like... I've just been talking, writing all week. So I'm like, fuck, dude. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I'm just like, I'm all, like, I've just been talking, like, and writing all week, so I'm like, fuck, dude,

I don't, I got nothing. Yeah, I was there. I got nothing left. You're just seeing weird fumes. I've decided that Wendy's is how you lift yourself out of poverty.

Yeah. We got police Navidad out of it. That was good. That was fun, yeah. You know, let's take a look back. Let's do a retrospective

on the past hour. Some of the fun. We opened, remember the mic check? Oh, yeah, we opened with a look back. Let's do a retrospective on the past hour. Some of the fun. We opened, remember the mic check? Oh, yeah, we opened with a mic check. Yeah. Wow. Man, that was good. We had a lot of talk about foyer shaming.

We did, yeah. Connor had sex. Yeah, Connor fucked in a foyer. I did fuck in a foyer. That's one thing we learned about me today on the show. Oh, man. So many memories. We did the Tonys.

We did the Tonys. The Tonys were the highlight. That was great. Coming up next, a salute to stained wife penis. I'm kidding. It's Frankie Valli. We only do Frankie Valli. Instead of playing Tony off, if he goes over on his acceptance piece,

they just all start going, oh. Oh, why? You got to talk about everybody? Come on. Go. Get the fuck in, man. species just all start going oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Yeah The Tonys And we did some other stuff Yep Yeah we did

And now we're here Yeah Isaac thanks for coming on the show Oh of course man Anything you want to plug Uh Follow me on Uh

The internet Uh Eventually at some point in the future I'll probably do a show Slow down This be the Okay so what was that What are they gonna get

You gotta Oh A series of tubes Yeah At I B as in boy Hirsch my last name most of you who are gonna follow me already follow me at this point uh the rest of you are like yeah this guy is no ramsey and i understand that so uh other than that come see me at uh i'm doing a church show next month somewhere in the OC.

A church show? Okay. That is the only booking I have on my calendar. Everybody hit the street and start doing some detective work. We'll find this show, and we'll show up in force. It's a fundraiser for that church, so you will be helping that church out a lot by coming to the show. Nobody attend. Everybody go, but everybody wear the Fuck everything God is dead shit

Oh yeah We do have a lot of that Alright well Keith What do we have to plug Keep watching Lights Out With David Spade Yeah do that We're writing it

Thank you By the way Thank you to everybody Who's been tweeting about it And stuff Oh thanks Yeah that's been really nice It's been pretty well received

We appreciate it a lot I want to say thanks To the person that sent me Throwing knives in the mail Oh yeah Yeah I got these two big throwers. I don't even know how to use them, but they're fucking big and cool. That's fucking rad.

I'm going to play with them at some point. Oh, we got to put the big thing is fucking Tom's album recording. Oh, yeah, man. We got our plane tickets. Yeah, August 17th. We'll be there. Kyle Clark will be there. We're at North Bar.

I believe it's at 8 o'clock. We just booked an erotic double hotel room for good old. We're staying at Hilton by the airport. For an old-fashioned evening of talking about something we saw by the vending machine. Not being able to fall asleep. And watching infomercials about Japanese guys that fix back problems. We're talking the road, baby. Road dog special.

Classic. Yeah, so if you're in Chicago or the surrounding area. Oh, and Tom is doing comedy. He's been working his entire life. Give me shit. No, I'm Oh and Tom is doing comedy For he's been working Oh yeah Give me shit No I'm kidding Tom is great And we're really excited about it

Again it's gonna be like The only time we're gonna be able To get out this year Cause we're fucking Swamped with the work shit So come out if you wanna see us Cool yeah And while they're doing that

The other three roommates In this house Are gonna record Mean Boys So look forward to me Max and Spinny Doing Mean Boys Oh yeah That would honestly be pretty funny. That would be funny.

To have a guest host. And Joan Rivers is Tom. All right. Well, let's get out of here. Later, guys. Later. Bye. Yeah, it's Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray, Sinden and Gray,