Mean Boys - EP 215 - I Remember Hallo-Mean (Live at The Pacquiao Palace)

Episode Date: October 30, 2019

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Yo, yo, yiggity yo, everybody. Happy Halloween. One of the yiggity-er-yos you'll ever get. Yep. Man, guys, what a fucking show. That was crazy. Holy damn it. Fucking bonkers. Thank you guys for coming. Yeah, how many people do you guys think showed up? Maybe 80? I'd say around 80. Maybe a little, maybe, yeah. Yeah, give or take. Yeah, there's people outside the gate and shit. It was awesome.

This is a far cry from the fucking Endless Bummer bomber days no when we we drew a crowd of four and pretty much all four or three out of four of them showed up to helen they did yeah yeah pretty cool the other guy i assume is dead it's like so like it's funny there's people i've been seeing that for so long i've started to learn the arcs of their lives where i'm just like oh i remember when you were huffing a lot of white out you're dating girls with no legs i remember season one of orion yeah yeah'm just like, oh, I remember when you were huffing a lot of white out. You were dating girls with no legs. I remember season one of Orion. Yeah, yeah. Looks like you're doing... We're just naming names. Yeah. We name names

on the podcast. That's true, yeah. Oh, God. We fucking had so much fun hanging out with everybody. I ended up getting... I had to get Short Bus Murphy and what's his name? Evan. Evan, the hotel, because they didn't have a place to crash, so I was driving around with them, like, one in the morning looking for a hotel with vacancy when there have a place to crash, so I was driving around with them one in the morning looking for a hotel with vacancy when there's a wildfire happening.

Long story short, I took them to a nicer hotel than I've ever stayed at. That's what I heard. I want to say to Shortbust, too, because he's been on the Discord, like, oh, man, I act like such an idiot. You're fine, dude. You were super fun. You were super cool. Oh, yeah.

We talked hockey. It was great. Yeah, no, we had a great time. Do you think people wanted to have you show up in a patched jacket looking sharp, talking about politics? Nobody wanted business cash, Murphy. You backed up the short bus and

you outlawed some parties. You did, yeah. His dad is a regular bus Murphy. Sorry. Grandfather's long bus Murphy. Long bus Murphy. His great-grand long bus, Murphy. Yes. Long bus, Murphy. His great-grandfather was train Murphy. Slave ship Murphy.

We didn't like to talk about him. I think the slave ship Murphy's playing every St. Patrick's Day at my mom's house. I'm shipping them to everyone. Yeah, it was fun. I got to start the show on the roof. I don't know how much of that audio was cut because I didn't have a microphone. Just chucking swords at people. Yeah, Tom was doing warm up. Yeah.

Which went exactly as well as I thought it would. Yeah, Ryan got a sword. Everybody signed it. And then he brought it to the bar where the after party was. And I look under the table. I'm like, of course, that's inside. This evening created the opportunity for me to not ironically say, bro, the cops are here. Put the sword away.

Which is really all I've ever wanted out of the entertainment industry. Oh, yeah. It looked awesome. I mean, everyone was like, this set looks great with all the trash. And it's like, that's just been there. Yeah, that's what it looked like when we left. That's just been building up. We should say a big shout out to Kyle Clark. Oh, yeah.

For making this all happen, technically. Going above and goddamn beyond. Seriously. Yeah, dude fucking busted his own. And then I was out with damn flu, so I was no help. So he fucking saved our hide. Yeah, he fucking, he came through hard. And I know what you guys have been asking.

There is going to be video of this. We filmed it with like three cameras. Oh, yeah. We filmed it more professionally than any television show you or I have ever been on no absolutely we did yeah it was basically how they filmed the roast battle 2 now they think about it with the gopros and everything yeah no it was uh the whole thing was great and just thank you guys for for coming and being part of it some of you guys talked to you know people flew up from syracuse st louis philadelphia fucking like people came from alaska alaska yeah shout out to cast miler dominatrix is our great dominatrix yeah who went more hard St. Louis, Philadelphia, fucking like people came from all over the place. Alaska. Yeah.

Shout out to Cass Miley. Shout out to Cass Miley. She's our great dominatrix. Who went more hard in the paint with the dominatrix outfit than anyone we've ever had. Oh, truly. Yeah. We get a lot of what I would call sweatpants dominatrix. Yeah, yeah. All right.

I'm putting something up. That says I was cleaning houses an hour ago. Ass cheeks out in a gang neighborhood and I salute her for it. Yeah. And she was flying Crip Colors, which was a bold move. Yeah, man. Oh, God. The energy was unbelievable.

Everyone was so pumped. You guys were so fun. It really made me feel like a rock star, guys. It was cool. Yeah. And it was a great punk rock send-off. It was a nice last Halloween show. And yeah, nothing I would have changed about it. It was fucking nice last Halloween show. And yeah, I don't know.

Nothing I would have changed about it. It was fucking great. Yeah. No. Yeah. I mean, I really, if I continue talking this point,

it's just me filibustering because we're the shows. And we have two actual pieces of business. Yeah. Three actual pieces of business to get to. Number one, March. Some of you guys have been hitting us up asking if you can pick up any merch that you might have missed. Here what we're gonna do uh going through and

selling everything item by item just doesn't make sense we want to sell as much of the merch as we can and we kind of want to get it out of our space yeah i mean you got so many of these goddamn stickers and everything so starting when this episode drops you have till november 6th which is when the very last mean boys is going to, to order basically what is a pack of whatever we have left. Except for the shirts. The shirts will still be the same price and everything. Yeah. But everything else, we'll just put whatever we have in a bag.

We'll send it to you. When we run out of a thing, we won't put it in the bag anymore. We can't tell you exactly what's going to be in. Spoiler, it's a lot of fucking stickers. Yeah. But there's some others. There's patches. There's some buttons. There's a bunch of weird shit floating around. Yeah, there's a lot of fucking stickers Yeah But there's some others There's patches There's some buttons

There's a bunch of weird shit Floating around Yeah there's a lot of Loose shit And sometimes we'll find Oh I found eight more Keychains and shit like that Yeah so basically

If you want some stuff And you didn't get merch Maybe you jumped in late You didn't get on the Patreon When we were still doing the merch Now's the time to jump in And do that Yeah there's a few people

That have bought things That are still on ship Those will be shipped out soon Yeah Maybe just one or two The Leaving the Tribe Patreon It's going strong Yeah, there's a few people that have bought things that are still on ship. Those will be shipped out soon. Yeah. Maybe just one or two. Leaving the Tribe Patreon is going strong. You're already putting out content on that all the time.

Yeah. You recorded something last night. Yep, yep. Yeah, Jordan Lee and Nicole Buchanan were on last night. It was a big emotional doozy with a lot of rape jokes. Oh, wow. You don't say. This is like Joker. Yeah, I don't quite know why he's laughing so hard.

I kind of don't either. I wasn't there. I wasn't either. Okay. But yeah, that's good. If you like rape jokes as much as Tom clearly does, you'll love Tom's Rape Fiesta Patreon.

If you're a Mean Boys fan, go over to the Leaving the Tribe Patreon. It really is more the Tom Goss Patreon. It is. Right now it's titled Leaving the Tribe slash Mean Boys Patreon. After Mean Boys is over, it'll just be the Tom Goss Patreon. It is. Right now it's titled the Leaving the Tribe slash Mean Boys Patreon. After Mean Boys is over, it'll just be the Tom Goss Patreon. I'm trying to make it easy for you guys to find, but it will eventually change to just that. Yeah, and he's going to be, you know, you can support Leaving the Tribe.

You can also support him in terms of his stand-up. He'll be sort of trying out other formats for comedy stuff. Really, if you're a fan of all the shit Tom does, and I think most of you, if not all of you are, you'd want to go over and support him. That's the place to be. Don't give the money to the firefighters. Give it to someone where it's going to make a difference.

Look, if the firefighters are so great, why do the fires keep starting? You know who's brave? Not the first responder, the last responder. The one who shows up and is like, you know what? It's done. No one else has to respond. No one's slower at responding than me, so please go ahead.

Yeah, Drew. The carrier pigeon, we call him. Other than that, I guess we can make this the official. We'll post a tweet and a Reddit and everything. This will be the last Mean Boys mailbag on the next episode. Yeah. So we're going to clear the fucker out. So if you have a question.

It's going to take forever. Yeah. What you're going to get is going to probably not be a traditional Mean Boys. We'll probably do a joke op, but then it's going to be Mailbag City. Yeah. We'll be telling stories. You'll hear at the end of this, and you're hearing it right now. We're all kind of tap dancing around the actual end of this thing a little bit.

I mean, a little bit, because it's like you don't want to blow your uh your whole wad or whatever yeah i don't want to get all sad intro for this oh yeah no i've kept it pretty contained i'd say you absolutely have i mean i've gotten sappy uh many times but yeah no i mean just like i just wanted to say it was just such a thank you guys for making it such a great event i tried to say hi to everybody uh give everyone you know hang out but if I missed you, always DM me and stuff. I've been catching up on a bunch of DMs and all that shit. So, yeah, no, the love we felt was unbelievable. I think I could say that.

Yeah, I hear that. It was fucking, it was nice. Yeah. But the tweets and the posts will be up. If you have anything to ask us or anything you want to say or get to us or whatever, feel free to do it. We'll let you know when we're going to be recording that as soon as we know. Yeah.

Other than that, you got anything else you want to throw out? Not much. There'll be, yeah, just support all our guests, especially support Kyle Clark, you know, on all his endeavors.

The Tom Goss album's coming out. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's going to be the pre-sale, I believe, and there'll be a harder confirmation, but I believe what Kyle told me is November 7th, it'll be out for pre-sale. And Black Friday, you can buy it. Nice.

So the pre-sale date may be adjusted slightly, depending on iTunes bureaucracy, but it will be available around that time. If you buy it on pre-sale, it definitely does help me. If you're going to buy it either way, just get it while it's on presale. Yeah, all those numbers go towards his day one totals, which helps him chart. Yeah, it helps me chart. And some people, you know, none of my friends,

but some people do it dishonestly, and they fucking go through, and they do all sorts of fucking town foolery to bump themselves up in the charts. I want to genuinely just chart. So you're putting it out on one of the biggest shopping days of the year. Yeah. Legitimately a terrible idea.

This is an off-air conversation. I'm kidding. This isn't a super off-air conversation. No, no, but here's why it works. I didn't mean to be mean. I was just trying to be funny. You guys are good. Well,

I was circling around to a bit, which is that none of our fans have loved ones to buy gifts for, so you're good to go. That was kind of, kind of the thinking, is, Here's the other thing,

it's not like they have to go wait in line and fight off, you know, their fucking hordes of all people. It's the only place where you won't have to wait in line. It's an eight second procedure to shop online.

Black Friday is irrelevant. Anybody who's going is a masochist at this point. Yeah. Anyway, here's Halloween. All right. Are you guys ready for the Mean Boys? Well, that's good, because here they are. Give it up for the Mean Boys.

One more time for my favorite comedian, Isaac Hirsch, everybody. Oh, my God. Even at our last show, we can't fill the first row. That is... Some things never change, baby. That is personal. Who knew all you had to do to get people to show up to a show in L.A. was burn it all down?

We should have lied and said they were all the last one. This is the best the house has ever looked, and I bought that air conditioner two years ago. That's two years old, that box. Yeah, somebody, when they came in, was like, wow, it's cool that you set up the fake trash. I'm like, yes, cool. It doesn't smell fake.

There's never been no fake trash on Mean Boys. This is 100% pure, unadulterated trash. This is half cleaned up. I also want to point out that somebody out there goes, hey, did you talk to the neighbors and let them know there might be a noise issue? And I went, hmm, good idea. Sorry. So neighbors, if you can hear us, don't call the cops.

We have beer. Hi, neighbors. Sorry about this. It's only one night. We all moved. I would like to give a shout out to the kids who live in that apartment who have called me fat over the railing for years. Oh, yeah. You're doing the Lord's work.

They've called us fat. They've tried to get... Whatever. Anytime they see us do something that they're not supposed to have, they're like, give me some of those cigarettes and the lighter and your laptop, please. Somebody was like, are you worried about the cops showing up? I'm like, no, because I have bought cigarettes from a child in this neighborhood.

I swear to God, a kid was working at the liquor store. He's doing his math homework. He's like, oh, yeah, 1099, ching, ching, ching, cancer. Like, it was fucking... Yeah, well, there's a Filipino liquor store over there and there's a Mexican liquor store over there. Hang on.

He's at a Filipino liquor store and the girl in the front row just went, oh, no. What do you know that we don't know, lady? Is it like Filipino food where it's just Mad Max rules and it's just whatever?

Here's a loose hot dog and some soy sauce. Figure it out, everyone. Yeah. Oh, man. It really puts into perspective how scary the fucking fan base of the show is. I saw this dude roll up in the trench coat with the Princess Leia hair going, well, I'm getting shot for this fucking podcast.

It took four years, but someone finally came to close my loop. Yeah. This costume is called Joker Ticket for One. Thanks. A little background on tonight's show. Connor's feeling great. I was in the hospital last night. Tom and my lovely girlfriend Eliza took great care of me.

And Keith and his girlfriend Jordan all helped me out a lot. And I'm a little groggy, but I was having fever dreams last night. And I had the gayest dream I've ever had about someone that has been on Mean Boys. Hang on. Who? And then what? Yeah, and I'm like,

I really don't think I'm secretly gay. There's been a lot of people. I'm sure you guys have all talked about this amongst yourselves in the Discord. Secretly? No. Yeah, but I'm like, I was like in the hospital.

I'm fucking, I'm on all these drugs. I'm like, I've been in the hospital. I'm fucking, I'm on all these drugs. I'm like, I've been crying all night. I'm fucking fevery and delirious. And I had this dream. I'm walking down the comedy store hallway, right? I'm walking down and I see Tony Hinchcliffe leaning up against the wall. Oh, no!

That's just you having a dream about having sex with yourself from the future. What I did to him was gayer than fucking him. Because I walked up to him. I looked around. I grabbed the back of his head. I gave him a kiss. I went, shh. And then I walked away.

And that was the end of the dream. And I was like, I can't. First, we've got to do the last Mean Boys tomorrow. I can't fucking. This should not be And I was like, I can't. First, we got to do the last Mean Boys tomorrow. I can't fucking. This is not, should not be how I find out I'm secretly gay. And why can't I be gay for someone better? Here's what's going to happen. You're going to go home tonight.

He's going to be laying naked on your new rug. Just going, hey, sailor, why don't you fill Tony? Right? I'm like, if I had to be secretly gay, does it have to be the eighth funniest Joe Rogan satellite? Why do I have to be gay? At least Red Band will hug you afterwards. Yeah.

Red Band could probably set up my Wi-Fi. It'd be helpful with the TV. Tom, do you want to talk about getting the PA system? Yeah. So we don't have a PA. I had to drive down to Orange County to retrieve it from a friend of mine, Matt Cole. Big fat guy. Friendly fat guy.

I want to point out, he's not mad at the story that he's fat. Voted Orange County's fattest DUI-having comedian. I can call him fat because of what I'm about to tell you. I hit him up at 11 a.m. You can call him fat because he'll look at you. He'll go back if he's not here and fuck him.

Yeah, you won't listen. I hit him up at 11 a.m. I'm going to come and get him what's the address. He goes, awesome, I'm wasted. You can have the PA if you bring a jug of water. So that is the bartering system that went on to put it. We exchanged goods and services the whole way through. The jug has returned.

I told you the whole time. And then you drove to PA-ville, which is between Bullet Town and Thunder Road. Right. Exactly. Yeah, I do like that it exists in a post-apocalyptic barter economy. You know, like a guy walked up, I got little Caesars, where's the booze? Like, he just assumed that that

was how we rolled here. I also enjoyed that in the ER, when I was there, they gave me a free, I went to the cafe, they gave me a free coffee, like, milkshake thing, one of the fraps, and I had a giant one, and then I just sipped it in the middle of the emergency room, and all these people

have face masks, and are coughing, and fucking bleeding, and Conor's face masks and are coughing and fucking bleeding. And Connor's yelling at the ceiling. And I'm just sipping on this giant Frappuccino. The most disrespectful drink. You're like a divorcee who went to go have a self-care day at the ER. Exactly. I will have the strawberries.

I've earned it, Karen. You might as well have a Taco Bell Sierra Miss cup full of children's tears. Fuck, guys. Well, I don't know. I feel like we're all fired up. I think we are, too. I think you guys have been fired up since I got in the room. Fired up.

So, we got here. What do you say? Before we do that, I want to check. First of all, who here has never been to a live Mean Boys before? I can tell because quiet hand raises. God forbid you make any noise on this podcast that will be broadcasted. Who here is from out of state? That's the craziest thing.

Wow. You flew. You couldn't use that money to help children. Where? Oh, yeah. Shout out, where did you guys come from? Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh.

Syracuse. Syracuse. Syracuse. Philadelphia. St. Louis. Philadelphia. This is fucking awesome. I want to find out who did that, and it was the most financially irresponsible. I want to know who.

I'll tell you who. I'll tell you what. Andrew Hillary, the Mean Boys mailbag guy. There he is, everybody. It's the Mean Boys mailbag. Fuck everything. God is dead. Send us an email or give us a call. Have you ever heard the one about Keith and the dog? It's the motherfucking Mean Boys Mailbag. And the dog is here tonight, everybody. The dog in the front row is really going to bite me in the ass.

It's not his dog. He just brought it for you. That's actually the dog's emotional support graphic design. We're going to meet somebody who came from insanely far away in our first segment. The next thing is Joe Coff. Hit the next slide. Yeah. And by the way, how about a big round of

applause for Kyle Clark? He's helped us out so much. He helped us set this whole thing up. He gave us the whole fan base of the show in the beginning. We've really done very little to repay him. And we've mostly just hit him up at the last minute when we need help with stuff. Other guy.

Now, when we do the Mexican Joke Off at the live shows, we like to keep it honest. We have a dominatrix beat the shit out of us. And we have a very funny young lady who came all the way from goddamn Alaska to do this. That's right. She's the founder of the Before You Die Comedy Festival. Give it up for Cass Smiley. Cass Smiley, everybody. Thank you so much.

And we have a special guest joining us for the joke-off. This guy, one of the best guests we've ever had on Mean Boys. He's written for the Comedy Central roast, historical roast. We love him. Give it up for Ed Larson! Ed Larson, ladies and gentlemen. You and Tom are going to split a mic. All right.

Well, with that out of the way, I think we should get started. Gentlemen, shirts off. All right. Yeah! Yeah! way, I think we should get started. Gentlemen, shirts off. Alright. Alright. Now, this is not the first time I will have been whipped with a fever for this show. Look, if it hurts, just close your eyes and think

of Tony Hanchcock, okay? I will. Oh, God. I will bite the bullet and I will take us away on the final Mexican joke off. An emaciated dog was rescued after being trapped under hurricane debris for three days. The dog said,

I had to eat bugs and garbage to survive. It was fucking awesome! And that dog was Keith Carey. All right. Guys, scientists discovered that Australian water rats use surgical precision to eat the non-poisonous parts of cane toads. They think they learned how to do this by watching somebody eat Keith Carey's mother's pussy. Now I picture your mother's pussy as like that fish from The Simpsons where it's delicious, but it can kill you.

It's got three quits. Your mom has so little to offer in life, she must be great at sex, so it must be good. But there's no questioning that it's certainly dangerous. I want to argue with this, but I've had several stepfathers say basically the same thing. It's so funny, I forget you have several stepfathers. It doesn't feel like you forget. Several meaning at least three. That's a very funny number of stepfathers to have.

A bastard's dozen. I believe that's all. Oh, shit. Tom, you're up, buddy. A miniature cow. You guys know about cows. Well, a miniature one escaped from its crate

down in Pennsylvania, but oh no, if there's no miniature cows, how will we make sliders? Hit him! We're hearing you hit him. Bring it! I like that joke a lot. I like that joke a lot.

Oh! That fucker's got some stamp on it. It makes me real sad about the rest of my jokes. I didn't realize how revealing... I didn't realize we just had gas-wearing lingerie out here. Ed, you're up, buddy. All right, all right.

How you guys doing? I know, Ed didn't even get to say hi. Hello, hello. Yes, I brought my homework and I got some whiskey for you guys. I'll teach you what my father taught me. All right, in Massachusetts, a bill was drafted to ban the word bitch. But knowing Boston, they're just going to change it to the N-word. Why are we using outdated slurs when we got better ones?

It's right there. We've got the top shelf right there. It looks like the accounting department of the Boston City legislature. It's like, why don't we just use the N-word? It's more efficient. It packs more hate per letter than any other word on the market. It's the solar power of nature. It only took seven minutes for Connor to go on his first N-word rant, so let's go ahead.

Yeah, man. This Tylenol's going to wear Yeah man, this Tylenol's gonna wear off at some point. Yeah, Tylenol. Tylenol? Tony Hinchcliffe fed this to me with his mouth last night. Alright, God help us all. The FAA is warning that e-cigarettes pose a massive fire hazard. Or as air traffic controller Dice Clay put it,

everyone who vapes is a flamer oh shit it's dice can't buy you a laugh oh that sure sucked oh my god you really put the fupa in that one? Oh, fuck. All right, guys. The 34th since December has died at Santa Anita Raceway. It's getting so bad, Tom Goss can barely keep up with eating all that glue. What? No, Mike.

The bomb still counts. He's still getting it. The mic is off? We can hear you. Okay, we'll get somebody else's mic. Okay. Yeah, you got to hit me with something. Don't make us listen to it again.

I heard it. We didn't miss much. Oh my god. Hey, Tony. You just rippled like a river full of Skittles. A mental health institute. Yeah. A mental health institute Yeah A mental health A mental health institute did a fundraiser

By selling naked calendars And it was pretty darn sexy Except for the part where all the girls were drooling Yeah, when you want drool on the tits It's really a specific kind of drool. You're looking for. Rebecca Lankowitz, the writer of the movie Colette, has been tapped to write the new Harvey Weinstein movie.

Man, who'd she have to fuck to get that job? We made the worst mistake we could make By bringing in a way better writer Oh shit A toddler named Cupcake was found dead In a dumpster in Alabama I will be suing The estate of Dumpster Cupcake For stealing my grinder handle.

Damn, dude. Dumpster cupcake. I keep thinking, we're going to run out of two-word combinations of trashy things to describe Keith, and it seems like it's still going strong. We may have four more years left in us after all. All right, guys, sad news. Guy Fieri's first restaurant, Tex Wasabi's, is closed. Shit!

I know. Nobody knows who's behind this, but personally I suspect that Buck Sriracha is involved. I think that guy had something to do with it. All right. A woman faked her pregnancy to avoid a plane's carry-on baggage fee. Just shoved it under her shirt. In other news, Keith Carey claims he's been faking a pregnancy for years and has nothing but baggage. It's emotional.

Looks like New Yorker Tom's about to take one of the tits. And Tom, let me just... He wants to take it to the chest. It's not baggage, they're skin tags. You don't have to do the fucking smooth criminal lean. I really thought it was better than this.

You hit him so hard he did the Joker dance. Just looks like Kellyanne Conway dressed as Captain Planet. Oh, yeah. Why didn't we do an all-pedophile mixtape for this shit? All right, guys. That's bad news. Bad news. There's been some lunch shaming going on in New Jersey for the students.

If they have over $75 in lunch debt, they're not allowed to go to dances this year. Seems like an ineffective punishment because the kids who can't afford to eat lunch are too weak to dance anyway. I think that's a hit. I thought Eddie was going undefeated. Okay. Wow. Another! Whoa!

Yeah! Oh, that's a Florida boy right there. Oh, fuck. That was like the mark. By the way, from my perspective, it just looked like she hit a big rock. That's like hard fat. There was no jiggle whatsoever. Your back just went, ah, whatever.

Ed's built like a fucking cavity creep. I was, uh, my father used to beat me with bats growing up. Nice. And he's here tonight! Mattel has released a new Judge Barbie, and if you buy it in Texas, it gives the death penalty to Mr. Potato Head. I'll take a hit.

Alright. Okay. There we go. After Ed was just like, whatever. It really kind of... It's weak. Yeah, and now everyone's like, oh, boo-hoo. Oh, guys. Kourtney Kardashian's son

swore at fans while they were in Armenia and he gave people the finger. He's actually the front-runner for this year's Politest Person in Armenia Award. Pretty good. Kind of a weird award. So for the first time in history, this week, people miss Kanye West talking about himself. That one hits home. Jokes for Connor only for 100.

Cut to me falling over in my apartment, trying really hard to like the album. No, it's good. It's different. Okay. All right. Many protests. Oh, good. Yeah, that's the helicopter that woke me up every night for three years. One day they'll catch that murderer. All right. There's a lot of protesters out there calling for open borders. I don't see what the big deal about open borders is. I think Barnes & Noble is doing a fine job.

Man, you push that through through a stumble and getting heckled by a baby. I actively lost brain cells listening to that. This is a guy who's been trying to do these jokes about PETA, and then Stewie and Lois for like three years. All right. Where's my last one? There it is. A young girl was brutally murdered after witnessing a robbery while playing Pokemon Go.

The killer used handgun. It was super effective. Okay. All right, boys. Whoa, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Is something interrupting history right now? Carlos Asedo?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, by the way, turn off your cell phones. Yeah, please silence your cell phones. This is going to be an interesting show because we're about to bring up the next stand-up, and usually everyone goes outside the smoke, but we're already there. Oh, this is going to go. All right, guys, America's bacon stockpile is the largest it's been in 14 years. Yeah!

Yeah! Tom Goss said, I'm working on it, but I'm still pretty full from that glue I ate earlier. Yeah! I brought the... Yeah, yeah, see? I slightly subverted expectations.

Aren't you proud of me? The life, the comedy life you'd have if you had no fat friends is just depressing. Dude, for real, man. What's that? Well, let's see how the joke goes. Iran

from... You guys know Iran. The Middle East one. That Iran... Not Iran, Wisconsin. Yeah, not it. They cut a prisoner's finger off for stealing.

It made things even sadder when they awarded the handy finger to a different man who was convicted of lady diddling. Let's bring it. Let's bring it. Do you want to explain what's about to happen? We had, what was it, 500 iTunes reviews, right? Ride the lightning, guys. I didn't know about this. Oh, my God.

Just look at here. I don't know. All right. Okay, yeah. I might... Who's catching? All right. Yeah, we can...

Don't hold it, please. All right. I just want to say... Oh, shit. Let, we can. Don't hold it, please. All right. I just want to say. Okay. Oh, shit. Let's do it. Mean boys. Mean boys.

Mean boys. Mean boys. Mean boys. Mean boys. Oh, my God. He's done that three times. Jesus Christ. Okay, I'm awake now.

That just stopped his next heart attack. All right, so should I do one about a dead baseball umpire or Whitney Houston? Whitney Houston. I'm out of feeling. Whitney Houston is nominated for the first time to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame not many people get it on their first crack luckily she's had thousands

guys are you guys ready for your next comic one more time for Ed Larson that was phenomenal. We're kicking it off the right way. What up? Yeah, you've got whiskey. One more time for Cass Smiley as well. Thanks, that was super fun.

You guys have to come to Alaska to come to my festival. We're going to taste Tom again, but with whales and shit. Alright guys, let's make some noise for your next stand-up comedian. You know her from the show. You love her. Make some noise for Robin Tran! Robin Tran, everybody!

The Mean Boys Podcast is brought to you by Himalaya. Himalaya is a great podcasting app, isn't it, Connor? Yeah, Keith. It's got playlist functionality. Make a playlist. Mr. Ear here bringing the enthusiasm for Himalaya. Enthusiasm. You hear the lack of enthusiasm in their voices?

Well, that's because they listen on other bad platforms. Not Mr. Ear. He listens on Himalaya. That's in China. Our neighbors are going to call the police. Police are just silly cops. Can I be one of your neighbors? Look, okay.

They got playlists. Playlists. Like buttons. Comments. Like buttons. Wow. Wow. Man, I love like buttons.

That's all Facebook is. They're so hard to find what's that purple stuff a like button whoa sometimes i'm like i like this era of mean boys and that era of mean boys but i don't like this era of mean boys i could make my own playlist with all the mean boys that i like or any other thing i don't know whatever floats your groovy the point is go ahead go to Himalaya. Go to the App Store or Google Play. Whatever thing of a jig that makes your thing go. And go ahead and download

Himalaya like the mountains in Himalaya. And go ahead and listen to the Meat Boys on that podcasting platform. Or a different podcast. You're not going to listen to a different one though because it's Meat Boys forever. Him and Mr. Ear signing out,

telling you to go listen to that Chinese app made by the shoddiest of pretenses. Give it up for the Himalayan podcasting app. Ear out. We've just been informed we're down to two months. Because this is a Mean Boys show, and it wouldn't be if everything worked fine.

But you guys, we're going to play around with one of our favorite games. This game is called Price Check. And the next guest coming to the stage, you know him from The Dollop. He's far too successful to be here. Give it up for Gareth Reynolds! Gareth Reynolds, everybody. How are you liking the vibe, man? It's a great vibe.

Two mics. Smart. This is how you guys go out. Where two people cannot talk. Do you need a TV box? No. I got a number of those. Guys, again, congratulations on everything.

This is great. This is great. Whose backpack is this? I've been wanting to keep this backpack. Oh, yeah. You know what? That's my backpack. Hey, are we running through the garbage right now?

Yes, we are. This was mine. My ex-girlfriend did a military show, and she gave it to me because I didn't have any money. Thanks for coming to show and tell, Garris. I can't believe that Tom pulled trash out, and it's Connor's trash. It's not like a mystery solved. It's like, whose is this? It's mine.

I live here. I believe he's also wearing my old pants. No, these pants are mine. This is great to make a living. What have you guys gave these pants to me? And I greatly appreciate it Thank you whoever that was Oh man but when I messaged Gareth about this show

he just goes and is Tom living in a drawer in the kitchen now? Also my impression of you is just Templeton the rat from Charlotte's Web And you're not far off which is fun Although Tom's the one rubbing a chick through the trash Yeah let's not get away from the main point which is that Tom had to be like, no, these were my other free pants.

The shoes were also given by a fan, so really, when the show ends, I will have no way to get clothes anymore, and that's kind of bumming me out. All right, well, let's start this game up. The rules of this game are very simple. I'm going to give you two things. All you've got to do is guess which number is greater.

First one, which is greater, the amount of people killed by ISIS or the amount of people who have had sex with Wilt Chamberlain? Wow, that's really good. Well, they both have a fondness for white women. We know this. Wilt Chamberlain's 10,000, right, I think? ISIS, I mean... But do you count all the ISIS spin-offs?

Right. Because ISIS is like... We also... We came up with AIDS. That was just like before... You know. They'll glob on to shit. They're like...

You know how Puffy would just show up in music videos like he had nothing to do with? ISIS is like Puffy with IED. So... I'm assuming it's the big tally, so had nothing to do with. ISIS is, like, puffy with IED. So, I'm assuming it's the big tally, so that makes me say ISIS. Well, ISIS also claims things that have, that they had no part, like, they took credit for Flint, Michigan water.

Like, it doesn't, like, are we going by what they're saying, or are we going by what Will Chamberlain's saying? I'm going by, I googled it for 30 seconds, and I don't research the show that much. Okay. Well, here's the real question. How many people has ISIS had sex with? That's what I want to know. Wait, are we talking before or after they blow up?

Because different numbers. 72 times 25 martyrs. I'm going to say you know what? ISIS. Here's the thing. We don't chant ISIS that much in the front of houses anymore. We stopped doing that.

It's not the 50s anymore. The truth is, if the cops come here, you could just show behind you and be like, I have nothing left to lose. What's the real crime here, officer? What do you think? ISIS or Will Chamberlain? I think it's, I mean, I might just, I buy into the propaganda probably, but I would think, if it's Wilt Chamberlain, it's going to be tough to go back into the real world.

And by the way, I want to say my favorite part of the show is when that guy went by. All right. No, it was when Tom started his joke where he's going to get tased with Iran. Everyone was like, this dude's getting tased right away. It's like he said Iran. I was like, it's a getting tased right away. It's like, he said Iran. I was like, it's a dead man

walking right there. You guys know Iran, right? Alright. People who have had sex with Bill Chamberlain, 20,000.

People who have been killed by ISIS, 20,002. USA! USA! And you gotta, you know who you really gotta give credit to is Hillary Clinton. Because she was like

the CEO of that shit. She doesn't get enough credit doing the boardroom deals. Did she fuck Will Chamberlain? She probably snuck in there. Alright. I would say Will Chamberlain falls under the same general type as Bill Clinton. Are we going to start arguing about politics sex right now?

We sure are. Next one. What costs more, six months of Tom's rent in this house or a baby skunk? Without question, a baby skunk. How much does a Tom Payne live here? Is it like from a breeder? Is it like a purebred skunk? I'll take a trash skunk.

The one that I see over there that's Tom's. You could also probably get a free one if you lived where Tom lived for six months. Is it a foley bred skunk or is it half something else? What are you talking about? I know purebred pets are worth more. But who's making like a skunk mule that's half ferret so it can pull carts in the fields? It's a cockapoo. What fucking pet shop of Dr. Moreau are you talking about?

It's a mule app. It's a shop with a stripe. It's not Pepe Le Pew rules. Is it a mule, like half horse, half donkey? It's a skunk. Okay, both halves are skunks. With that information, that makes one full skunk. Okay, both halves are skunks. With that information... How many skunks does that make?

Yeah, that makes one full skunk. There it is. For a second, I almost said something dumb there. I'm going to go... Okay, all right. Take care of the one. I'm going to go skunk. All right, we got two for skunk.

I'm going to say Tom's rent. Baby skunk, $349. Six months of Tom's rent, $600. Oh, my God. Tom is worth a little less than two skunks. I did. No, Tom actually paid. I don't know if you're saying that that's way too much or way too low.

It's insane. Yeah. Well, Tom's like 300. The rent's not very much here. A lot of people don't know Tom actually paid his rent in skunks. Every month he would give me an envelope with a baby skunk in it. One third of a baby skunk.

Those things are hard to sew together. Alright, I got one more, and this one's a doozy. The amount of victims of a hundred holocausts or the amount of views on YouTube for the video Baby Shark? Now, whose holocaust numbers are these? Is this the ADL, or is this from, like, the Rush Limbaugh show? I would like to have a future in this industry

so it's the most generous numbers I could find. You can't call the numbers generous. That sounded worse than anything else you said. These were the horniest numbers I could find. You said that with a tone like I guess I'll go with what you guys say. Yes, this is the mainstream media

with their generous numbers. Generous. What do you want me to do? Count them? Like, you Google it, a lot of conflicting information shows up. What do you think, Tom? What was the question again?

Tammy's back, baby! Tammy! 100 Holocaust or Baby Shark? Oh, okay. Well, here's... You know what? I saw Baby Shark was playing at the Long Beach Symphony Hall.

Can't wait to see how this affects it in any way. Well, you gotta be a pretty big baby in order to play that play, so I'm gonna go... I'm gonna go Shark, man. I feel pretty bad. It's also done on Spotify, right? That's a YouTube exclusive?

It's on Spotify. Is it on Spotify? The Holocaust is coming down to Spotify numbers. Is that Spotify? That's interesting. Well, I actually just watched the Holocaust documentary, which is making this a tough thing to riff about. Like when they had all the outside,

the gas chambers with all the baby shoes. Baby shoes. Baby shoes. Oh my god. Where's my mom? Thomas, the tank engine, what are you doing here? Don't you guys miss when I was rummaging through the trash like a normal person?

That's what you guys can't receive. All right, final guesses. I want to say, okay, no Holocaust jokes. We're going to get the cops called on us here. But if anybody says, fuck the Raiders, we might have a problem. Without question, Baby Shark. All right. 100 Holocausts 1.1 billion baby shark 3.7 billion and you guys that's it for price check one more time for gareth reynolds everybody

thank you so much for coming dude you guys we got a lot more show and we're really riding the lightning on the cops here your next comic coming the stage, he's a big part of why this show exists. He's one of my best friends in the world. Give it up right now for Kyle Clark. Kyle Clark! Thank you, guys. Mean Boys forever. Hey, give it up for Kyle Clark, everybody.

Also, fuck Ernestine. We're not there yet. We're not there yet,'re not there yet motherfuckers I love that you timed your mushy speech to be right when the show starts to lose steam what are you talking about? New Names is always a hit it's time for New Names you fucking morons we renamed them

things are called other things now audio cues didn't work as planned. You guys, we got a guest. We got a Bluetooth. We got a guest for new names. He's a guy who was on the show so much when we were still kind of figuring out what the fuck it was. He's one of our favorite comics in LA.

Make it loud right now for Nat Bymel. Nat Bymel, fresh from training a Jewish boxer of some kind. Net by Mel winning the fight with Gareth over who could dress like they give less of a fuck. To be fair, I was in the middle of working out, but then you did three Holocaust jokes and it summoned me like Beetlejuice. Did you just call yourself Beetlejuice? Because now I'm down one of my new names. I was going to call you Beetleju. And you say bargain.

You got any more antisemitism you want to get out of your system? Or should we do some puns? You know, you really forget how racist the fever makes you. It really all starts coming back. I don't know. I'm sorry, guys. Oh, man. You finally have a lawn to yell at people to get off of. Okay.

That's it. Alright. You guys are loving this. Yeah! Alright. Let's do fucking new names. New name for grapefruits, menopausal oranges. I smell a hit! Alright, I, um, the new names,

it started off, Argus Crumblebottom, I think, was on the first round, and that was a lot of fun, so I just wanted to rename some people from the Mean Boys universe, and I thought, who better to start off with than Kyle Clark, who I think, honestly, would be better named Snicker P. Doodles. Like, if he told you that was his name, you would go, oh, that makes way more sense than Kyle Clark.

Kyle Clark sounds like a guy with, like, shoulders and a job and shit. Snicker P. Doodles seems like some dude wearing skinny jeans, taking pictures with a patterned shirt. New name for Connor McSpadden, the guy who forgot to write the bit for this vrouwt. I'll do a different one. Let's call Lyme disease, you guys know that. Let's change it. Let's call it white Ebola now.

Is that... Honk Ebola. Honk Ebola. New name for Republican drag queens? Tucker Carlson. Hey! I'm back!

Guess who tried and failed to get that on the Alec Baldwin roast? Yeah, that very same joke. I just stole his packet. That's all I'm doing tonight. All right, after that... I didn't have to send in a right. After that baby shark bit, new name for the Pacquiao Palace, the Sharon Tate House, but for our careers. Oh, yeah. We got to go to Leo's Tacos.

That's our El Coyote. All right, guys. The next new name, Randall Maynard. Now we're going to start calling him Randall Gay for Nards. Alright, they'll get better after that one.

I put that one as number two. Can we get the dominatrix back on? Yeah, Cass, when we have a minute, hit me. Alright, let's do this one. Let's call Disease Death's Fuck Buddy. Look, I was calling the dominatrix up for me. New name for ass to mouth,

stinky and the brain. Well done. The joy on this fucking Nat's face when he does that is really upsetting. It's like watching somebody who's really confident in their mini golf skills. Which is also Nat. A one-hander. Back in my day, we just called it recycling.

New name for Grindr. You guys know Grindr. That app will now be called Find My Bone. Find My Bone. Find My Bone. All right, I want to bring up a special guest for this next new name. Can Shortbust Murphy please take the stage with me? Yeah. All right. Watch out for the camera, you big drunk dipshit. New name for Shortbust Murphy, Hurley from the show Lost. If he didn't book the part as Hurley from the show Lost. Shortbuzz! How funny is that?

So there's this new craze the kids are talking about. TikTok. You guys, yeah. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? And we're going to start calling that incel Instagram. New name for Irish abortions, medical garbage pail kids. Oh, yuck.

I'll miss this place. It still tastes better than their food. I mean, as a guy who should have been one, I can't fight you. All right. Nicole Buchanan was supposed to be here for this one, but she didn't show up. Nicole Buchanan's new name, Fuckable Droopy Dog. All right. I got a new name for Princess Leia.

This is the guy actually responding to all your Tinder messages. He's behind all of them. He's got a number of accounts. Okay. All right. You guys know planes? There's those things. They go up in the sky.

When you started doing that bit About 25 years ago I think I didn't get it but now I love it Well sometimes people Comedy lacks context sometimes So planes A bunch of people they get in the plane And then it goes up in the air And then it goes to a different place or the same place

Whatever's groovy And we're going to start calling those jump buses All that for planes different place or the same place, whatever's groovy. And we're going to start calling those jump buses. All that for planes. Alright, Nat, you've got to get these out quick and go back to working with Shlomo on his hand work. New name for funny Spanish jokes that sound familiar?

De ja ja ja ja vu. My act? Alright, this one takes a little bit of ramp, but hear me out. You guys know ramps? Yes. You guys know Tig Notaro, right? Very famous comedian.

She had breast cancer. She also lets women comics tweet as her. So the women who tweet as Tig Notaro will now be called the witty shitty titty committee wasn't one of those women Ramsey Bedali I just found out I'm a part of this committee as well alright I wanted the last new name

well that makes sense ask Tony Hedgecliff that's true yeah Robin could you come up here for our last name? I have a new name for Robin and her girlfriend, Kate Gary, two old friends of ours. Would you guys stand up? All right. This is...

I told you it's not very nice, but my new name for Robin and Kate is David Bowie and his pet koala. lesbian koalas eat yucca wick puss i just want to say something for a second connor and i we started comedy together this is happiest i've ever seen you right um he is newly not a piece of shit i love you but you know what I've never heard anyone say? Oh, good, Connor's coming. I love you so much, buddy.

I am also friends with Robin, but I guess that doesn't fucking matter. Hey, I've known Robin since she was funny. So, I mean, I'm kidding. She's funnier now. All right. Piece of shit. We had a competition with each other. Oh, you're done.

Okay. You guys ready for my last new name? Yeah. Yeah? So you guys know for my last new name? Yeah. Yeah? So you guys know toilets? Yeah? We're calling them dick sinks, baby.

That's it. That's a wrap, motherfuckers. That's all, folks. We paid our rent doing this. And that's your fault by the way I love the character art for the show is Tom building confidence and Connor calling Tom fat instead of Keith

this is four years in the making we've really grown finally seeing the writing on the wall and getting out before it turns into lazy self parody and bullshit by a couple of sellouts, Joe Doshin. Nat Baymel, everybody. Fetch Baymel, as we

call him down here in Brooklyn. Oh my god. We got a little more show for you. Your next comic coming to the stage. You've heard her on Mean Boys. Oh my god That was good Wow You guys We got a little more show for you Your next comic coming to the stage You've heard her on Mean Boys You fucking love her Give it up for Andrea Guzetta

One more time for Andrea Guzetta everybody Some wholesome palate cleanser for you guys Every time Andrea comes on Mean Boys You know you like the show and everyone likes you on the show, but it's always just like, oh gosh,

oh, really? Okay, baby. Oh, Holocaust open. Okay. Oh, whatever floats your boat. It's great. All right, so our next game,

Porn Commenter Yelp Review. One of our... Yeah. One of our oldest, dumbest games and unfortunately the reason we bought this projector.

If anybody... I don't want anyone getting me-toothed by a goof, so if you don't want to see a bunch of weird dicks, now would be a good time to go pee. Now that is a conversation Keith has had to have many times throughout his career. Because we've got... Oh, sorry, go ahead. We don't want to scurry with the penis,

we just want to all laugh at it. So just know that. All right, and we have two guests for this one, which will be fun with only two working mics, but they're two of our favorite people. We're real excited to have them. Give it up for Joe K. and Rich Slayton! Joe K. and Rich Slayton, everybody! Hello, hello,

hello, hello. The tubby Jews just keep on coming, guys. Him too? No, him too, Rich. Oh, good. How you doing? I'm well. I'm out of the house. This is nice. This is a good place to be. I haven't been here in a while.

Can you stop doing your merry comedy for everybody? I don't do comedy anymore. Look at these people. They don't fucking... They're like, oh, man, well, I'll tell you, I'm away from the old ball and chain. These people have no... They're not reliable to anybody. They're not, like, committed to anything.

Are you, like, a color commentator for, like, Beyblades or some shit right now? What are you doing now, Rich? Uh, porn. Porn? Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, these are mostly my reviews. But you're, like, the Howard Cosell of, like, Fortnite or something, right? Basically? Basically, yeah.

I am now a play-by-play commentator for a competitive cell phone game. Okay. That's a job. Well, that's kind of hard to wrap my head around. So, Joe Care, are you still gay and into the 90s? That goes down a lot smoother for me to understand. Yeah, I mean, I'm still an alive faggot.

So, yeah, good for me. I'm still in a live faggot so yeah good for me I'm killing it I am I am definitely I'm shirking responsibilities I'm supposed to be dog sitting two very nice

puppies in the valley and it's they're a lot easier than the last two dogs I had to dog sit which was

fucking nobody cares so let's put him in the back here yeah you do it was an incontinent pug that I had to put diapers on. So yeah.

I think this audience might give a flying fuck about the shitty dogs that are dead now. I feel like Tony Hinchcook would have a lot to say about the sexual tension brewing here. All right, let's get porn.

I'm going, Kyle, you might work. It's like, don't click anything away yet. I always said, like, before I die, I'm going to fuck all three of the Mean Boys, and that was what the Joe days, and still the Tom days, even more so now.

Look at this fucking sex machine. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I love that Tom is your Tom Selleck. Grab some trash. Grab some trash. Okay. Use some of my old shirts. I was like,

why didn't Rich plug the name of the place he works? Nope. All right. Number one, part of Yelp, quote,

I want a taste, please, sir. Oh. This is a Yelp review I left of Tony Hinchcliffe's ass.

Weirdly enough. I had a fever, guys. I was going to say, this feels like the most frequent and common on every porn video I've ever watched. Like 100%. I'm going to go ahead and say, this has to be porn, right?

Like, no way it's not, right? Yeah. Unless someone's getting this indignant at the pink berry, you know? Which is also what I call Joe's ass, but it's tough to say. Here's my issue. There's no misspelled words,

so that means porn. Wait, are porn fans more literate? No, no, no. They're illiterate. Which one's the one you can't read? You. They can't... Porn people, they're not good at that reading thing,

man. They got all the blood in their penis, right? Tom is actually turning into Jimbo Kimble in front of your eyes. Hey, porn people, I can't read words. Why is this dick going blah, blah, blah, blah? The sir makes me feel like that's too polite for porn. I'm going to say it is

a review of a Costco. I like when Tom does his smart guy voice while he's covered in coarse light in shirtless someone get me another beer well I think obviously it's a Yelp review for Baby Shark which I didn't know

that had Yelp reviews for that I'll say the sir makes me think it's porn because you're trying to class it up. You're like, I feel bad that I'm reviewing this so let me put a sir on there so it feels like it's not as Elkie.

No one who's ever watched porn has felt bad about anything. So I don't think... That's such a broad statement. Anybody with shoes hates shoes. Costco. All right,

let's find out, Kyle, what is it? Porn! From a video called Old Man Fucking Faces. And it's really worth pointing out how much that old man looks like the spy from the game Team Fortress. Hey, guys, good news. ISIS is back. Next up.

Do you know how upsetting it was to eat cereal in the morning, look over and see that on Keith's screen? Yes, for the game. Yeah, that was two months ago. Alright, number two. Quote, sometimes you gotta dance with the devil. Porn. That's not a porn review. That's what

Conor said last time Andy Dick groped him. It's never the last time. You always think it's the last time. He could honestly, and this is true, walk by right now. This is an Andy Dick

threat zone. We recently lowered the Andy Dick threat level to yellow, but unfortunately that is the color of his cum, so it's the highest level.

So if you see Andy Dick, please, this is the only time you should call the police in a Mean Boys show. What do you think, Tom? I mean, I think it's either a Halloween store,

because that's where the devil would be. Or maybe Halloween... I know it's festive, I just don't know which direction. Tom walks into the Halloween store. Is the devil working today? Yes. I go to class with him. I said I'd stop by.

Yeah. I feel like you wouldn't think to go to a dance studio. I'm going to go porn, you know? Yeah. Yeah, dance on the dick of the devil. I feel like this reads to me like some sort of like one of those like hot chicken places that's like a threat. Like, we're going to punish your mouth. No, that's the last video.

Man, I couldn't be more in my element right now. Perfect. Look at you, dude. 70 shirt undone. You got the jeans up. Your zipper is halfway down. No, Keith is always like, you've always got like the fat zipper going.

I'm sorry. Did I zip your collar? Yeah, you clipped. Oh, no, I'm sorry. You clipped the turtleneck, my dude. Fucking go to the answer. It's a goddamn vegan restaurant. What podcast circumcises the host on air?

Number three, quote, Santa must be smoking crack this year. Damn. This is some white bitch you saw on sale at Color Me Mine. Joe seems like he has strong opinions. No, I was going to say, this feels like a one star review of a mall somewhere. Like somewhere out in the middle of Tennessee. Someone thinks

they're like the funny mom. Oh, 100%. You know what? No, no, no. Nancy, you're so bad. This is a two star review of a mall somewhere out there. You know how it takes

like 40 years for heavy metal music to get to Iraq? It's that way with jokes in the Midwest. You know? Where you get like

a 42-year-old mom who's like, oh my god, they must be on crack. And it's like, sweetie, it was like, we stopped doing that

like in 93. Again, it's not a comment or review. It's the way that Keith's mom explained why there were no presents

that year. I saw mommy taking a white bulb from Santa Claus. Blowing out a teen herb. If we get Connor and Tom naked, this is Keith's Dolomite album cover. Whoa, whoa, what do you mean, if? All right, here's my logic here. I really hope it's Yelp.

Because if it's porn, it is incredibly racist porn. Uh, comment. So I'm going to go Yelp. Santa baby, put your finger inside of my ass. Smoke glass. Something one little... I'm tired. Well, I have bad news for you, Tom.

This is a porn featuring a person of color. That is... That was the best that could have gone. That's the green juice stole Clitmas, baby. That is... Wow, that is 1,000% my new favorite. Banana, banana.

Holy shit. He's fucking her with a 39 and a half foot pole. Wow, Kyle Clark just cannot stop contributing to this show. You kind of look like the Grinch. The gangbang sequel is Cindy Lou, Who's That Inside Me? Cindy Lou, whose kid is this? So the Grinch got her a glass of cum. He patted her on the head.

Number four, quote, I need a raincoat like Paddington Bear. Okay, this is the worst 2 Chainz lyric. This is like, you can't brag about pussy with the Paddington reference. It's a great film, but it's just... Again, it's neither one. It's just Tom shopping. I think... I don't shop.

I think... Now this is why you're the number one mobile app announcer in the business, man. That was good. I think that's porn. I think it's one of those things. You guys know when your significant other's like, oh, I'm a little kid. I think it's one of those things. No. See, look.

Okay. You guys don't... You guys... I was gonna be on board until you got to adult kid. What the fuck are you... Okay. I'm misbehaving because I don't know things yet, you know? You're gonna be on board until you got to adult kid? What the fuck are you? Okay. No, like me.

I was just behaving because I don't know things yet, you know? You guys don't. What's a penis? Nope, nope, I'm a monster. The person's adult, but I bet that person's on board. If that was an unclear thing, then everyone's an adult in this situation. Tom loves clarifying things. I don't know if you know. Do you guys know about

clarification? I changed my mind, neighbors. Call the cops. I agree that it's porn, but I'm going to use my logic here and say that raincoat means some sort of water sports thing, so I think this is a porn review. Let's go to the answer.

That is porn. That is from a video called Ultimate Ronald Reagan Masturbation Game. Whoa. Go look it up. This is the least crazy screen grab. I swear to God, it's an MKUltra video cut with trans pornography.

It's amazing. Thanks. Like poop? Great. Do we have a Yelp page for the house? Like poop? Great. Wow, that's better than baby shoes never worn or whatever. That's three words and that's a million stories.

Again, I don't know why you have ones that are neither. It's just Tom's Tinder profile. I have a lot of things in this game. Again, I don't know why you have ones that are neither. It's just Tom's Tinder profile. I have a lot of things in this game. I think, look, I think this is declared in a way that makes it be like, hey, you want to go here? Poop. Which would be more conducive for Yelp over porn? So I deduct that... You guys know about deduction?

I deduct that it is Yelp. This might be high and inside, but it's just a review of the Ondas Hotel for comedians. That is high and inside, but I'll take it. Yeah, I'm going porn. I'm just going real quick. This is a Yelp review, I think, for a restaurant. I think this is a restaurant that makes you shit.

Quite quick and simple. This is the Lido Apartments, the building me, Connor, and Tom just moved into. They're talking about the elevator. Yeah, the elevator. The poop in the elevator. No, there used to be a guy who used to go shit there. Let's lightning round through these last few because we have like

three more and we got a little more show to go. Alright, she did it. She's immobile now. Yelp review of Keith's cock. Give it up for Keith's cock, everybody. The long, strong dong that's been keeping this show ticking for years. By the way, most of you are probably here because

Keith fucked you at some point. That's where most of our fans come from. I know that's why I'm here. I know that's 100% why I'm here. You try to get it out of the wire. Tom, what do you think? I'm going to say it's like a county fair or something.

It is a review left by the Gravitron Miscarriage. That's for the real listeners. That's for the real listeners. Shout out to her. Yeah, clips, notes. A woman listens to the show. Her husband, who used to be a woman,

she had an abortion because of a ride called The Gravitron. And anyway, yeah. Now, The Gravitron leaves Oklahoma going 200 miles an hour. With the most conservative Holocaust numbers we have available to us. How many? I'm pretty sure this is a Yelp review of the American Ninja Warrior Santa Monica Pier experience. That is shockingly specific. Let's see what it is.

That is a porn called Bedridden Echo. What? Why one? Why the now? Yeah, it's true. I think it's better. All right, this one was sadder than I thought. Next one.

Quote, Don't listen to David Spade. Well, this is a porn review of an episode of that show that's been illegally pirated on Pornhub. That has to be it. I think I figured it out! Do you have any idea how thrilled Comedy Central

would be if we were getting pirated on Pornhub? We're not doing pirated on Pornhub numbers, unfortunately. I have two predictions, okay? One, it's either a iTunes review of us, or it is a comment left on the video that one of you fine gentlemen, I presume, jerked off on Ramsey's photo.

So it could also be a photo. Those are my two, and you know what? I will go double or nothing. It's either one of those or it's nothing. Opa! Wait, who jacked off on Short Bus? Did you jack off on Ramsey? No.

Is that guy here? I'm sorry, it just seemed like something you'd do. Oh, fuck. That would have been the best reunion ever. Damn it, I thought we might have... It's a porn comment on the Literotica fan fiction for your new job. It has to exist. Interior, writer's room.

Nobody's trying that hard. LaCroix abound. Interior, Connor and Keith's office. What if farts were something? They catch checks and cry. Let's see. That is the Yelp review for Car Pros Kia in Glendale Where apparently David Spade bought a Kia From a man who looks like buff Andy Garcia

Alright we got one more And finally quote this guy obviously has to work pretty hard to get laid Yelp Fuck I'm gonna say Yelp I think this was like a douchey barista or something like that. I'm saying Yelp review of a magician. That's good.

A Yelp review of a birthday magician. Magicians do have their own Yelp pages. It's just like you'll be like, you know, fucking like Starbucks on Temple. And it's like, oh, yeah, it's Randy. And then some dude with a shitty haircut holding chains. That is actually the only one-star review of Mean Boys podcast that was ever posted on iTunes.

And Rich is the one who posted it, guys. Give it up. I think it's like a gaffer or something, a porn set who was like, I don't know how to hold the light and he kept fucking up and they were making fun of him. You gotta be outside the box, okay? Someday you're gonna nail one of those long shots.

Tom always goes, I hope it's today because there's not a lot of days after this. Oh, fuck. Everyone gets sad. That's a YouTube review of Conover's Fed. And that's Porter. One more time for Joe Kay and Rich Slade, everybody.

Thank you, thank you. Thanks, everybody. Thank you. Thank you, buddy. Come here. Still a little bit of show left. Thank you guys so much for staying around. This is crazy.

Thank you guys for hanging out. We got one more stand-up for you, and then we're going to do our last segment with a very special guest. But this last guy, I think a lot of you are going to be very excited to see him. Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Todd Brown! Yeah!

A-T-B! A-T-B! A-T-B! Adam Todd Brown, everybody! You ask us where we learned to phone it in, we learned it from the best. A-T-B! You can't be gay and have the last name Brown. That was just a little on.

No, thank you, Adam. Thanks for all your fans. Oh, yes. You guys, we got one more guest, and we spoiled it because I forgot to make a slide for Adam Todd Brown, but fuck it. Here he is. The big ass Ramdog, Ramsey Bedawi. Yeah.

Ramdog. Ram Dog, Ram Dog, Ram Dog, Ram Dog, Ram Dog, Ram Dog. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Man, Ram Z. They were all waiting for me to say anything. It was great watching so many people go Oh I guess that's it Bro I'm high on CBD right now man I've never felt less anxious in my life That's very in keeping with what happened

Because Ramsey was like Dude I got an amazing bit planned We need a projector though And mine is dead of Ramsey poisoning Or something And I'm like no problem I'll spend a couple hundred We need a projector though and mine is dead of Ramsey poisoning or something. And I'm like, no problem. I'll spend a couple hundred dollars on a projector. Did you really spend a couple hundred? I'm going to return it.

This is amazing. What was the bit that you had planned? Okay. What do you get the man who's got everything? Keith Carey. What do you get him? What do you get him? What do you get him?

Some fuck in the back said treadmill. That was my brother. That was my notably fatter brother. Wait, let me see Keith. Get your fatter ass up here, Scottish. And by the way, that's a good heckle.

Yeah! Oh my god. Wow. Yeah! Whoa, dude. This is bad. This is bad right here. What's going on? Dog, look at what I'm doing. One finger. Hey, you guys ever see the movie Akira?

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Each of your nipples is Ramsey size. This is fucking... Give it up for Scott. Scott just helped us set this whole thing up today. Yeah.

And unlike Jeb Bush guy, no one needed to translate your heckle. He's been on the show before. He's been on studio episodes. I also invited my sister, and she decided to go to the mountains. I don't know what. I go, what are you going to do in the mountains? She goes, just go to the podcast. I go, all right, that's fine.

You could have done that locally. Can I continue? Yes. Was that necessary? Get back over here. Jesus. Oh yeah, give him his RV cover. Get tarped up, buddy.

You want to... So, what I wanted to do was I wanted to Homie's so fat he doesn't catch a cold He catches a warm I don't think you said homie That joke only works on Def Jam Alright sorry Ramsey continue with how you wanted to ruin my life again

Okay What I wanted to do was I wanted to legally remove you From the non-profit you started. And, Keith, aren't you glad this is the bit that didn't work? Yeah, I thought it would have saved me. Well, hold on. It turns out in the state of California, it's actually very complicated

to dissolve a non-profit charity organization. There's a few people, Ramsey, who don't know what you're talking about. Can you tell them what non-profit that is? Okay. Clap if you know about Keith Carey's non-profit charity organization. You do.

Okay. For those of you that don't know. For all the girlfriends that didn't clap, that have been sitting here scowling at us for 25 minutes. In August of 2018, I, in a desperate ploy to have an entertaining live show, created a faux non-profit charity organization called the Kevin Spacey Didn't Do It Foundation for the Learning Arts. And faux seems strong

because it's real in the eyes of the law. Wow. And the president and vice president were? The president was Keith Carey and the vice president was Mike Pence. Now, it turns out in the state of California, if you want to dissolve

a non-profit, you have to get the board to agree to fire the president. Wait, who's on the board? Well agree to fire the president. Wait. Who's on the board? Well, this was the issue. Wait. We needed to...

Wait, Mike Pence didn't get back to you on that? Well, the problem that I ultimately ran into was we didn't have enough members on the board, so I wanted to build together a team of great directors for you. And so what I did was I went ahead and I brought back an old

character, Farhad. Thanks, God, for dance. Thanks, God. Farhad, for those of you who don't know, Farhad is the host of the number one Iranian dance podcast. You guys know Iran. Thanks, God, for dance.

Also, he has sons who are, he has a gay son, and he doesn't seem to know that his son is gay, which is part of the bit that I forgot about. Yeah, me too. He kept emailing the guy

pictures of his son kissing another guy. And here's how racist Ramsey is. Just different pictures of Iranian gay dudes the photos did not match they were not the same person at all and in order to get those pictures

I had to be at work and I googled gay Arab men kissing so I built this LinkedIn page for Farhad and it's up, you can go check it out we'll tweet it out I built this page page, right, for Farhad. And it's up. You can go check it out. We'll tweet it out. We'll tweet it out.

I built this page, and I started chatting people up. The thing about LinkedIn is it's hard to connect with people, man. Isn't that, like, all it's for? I'm just saying you don't get to know people, though. You know what I mean? I'm not a grub hub. There's no food there, man. Well, I messaged some people up.

I got some people in. I got some people out. You know, no one was super interested in it. It was people up. I got some people in. I got some people out. You know, no one was super interested in it. It was an issue. I got you. So I thought, here's what the big bit was. You know who came to mind who could use 20 bucks? Oh, boy.

Was the guy we tried. Remember the guy whose kidney we tried to buy? Oh, shit. No. Is this going out? We should bleep that guy's name. We'll bleep that guy's name We'll bleep that guy's name But Ramsey tried to buy a guy's kidney And what did the guy need the money for?

Because this was his real backstory Well, this is about to get worse For those of you who may not know Okay, we tried to buy a guy's kidney We did nothing legally Wow, well on this is you have no idea you're just triggering me right now okay here's the thing okay we tried to buy a guy's kidney guy guy was selling his kidney in iran which is obviously where you gotta go to sell your kidney right um and um we found he lived in montana and his name was JJ,

and he wanted $50,000 in order to get his son back. No other details. No other details. We don't know if his son was taken by the state, a wolf. We have no idea. And the wolf wants 50 grand. It's actually the cookie crisp wolf. And that guy is a shrewd businessman. He hates your kids.

So where's my money, wolf? So I reached out to Jason. And I couldn't, you know, I sent him an email. The email bounced back. I got a little bit worried. So I Googled his name. I remembered his name. Here's the thing, I sent him an email. The email bounced back. I got a little bit worried, so I googled his name. I remembered his... Here's the thing. I found his Facebook page, and what happened was

did we release the episode where we went through his Facebook page? Yeah. It turns out he was telling the truth. He was looking for his kid. Oh, fuck. But the plot thickens a little bit more. So when I googled the guy's name... The live audience makes this all feel very cruel.

I'm seeing, like, human empathy, and I'm like, oh, man, this is actually not that nice, what we're doing here. Guys, it's fine. I'm the kid. We can move on. Yeah, this bit seemed funnier when it was like Ramsey did something evil, and then he just goes, ah, correctamundo. I still think it's hilarious. There should be more missing children to mine. And honestly, you guys can all you want, but now you guys know about his story.

So maybe you could do something about it. So kind of powerful. So he's not on the board is what you're getting at. Comedy is kind of powerful that way. I've been thinking about it. Comedy really just can really communicate a message like that i okay so i googled him he's no longer in any he's no longer contactable via email i googled him right and i found his phone number and i called him okay and it went straight to voicemail i went called didn't work called him

again called him again called him, googled the number, found more of his records. Turns out he is a registered sex offender. Well, now I don't feel bad about when we legally got him to convert to ISIS. You say tomato, I say tomato.

I want to point out that only the guys you want to hang out with the least are laughing at this part. You look around, it's like, oh, Andrew Hillary's busting along. So long story short, here's how you guys have ruined my life. The dog is crying. Yeah. Here's how you guys have ruined my life. The dog is crying. Here's how you guys have ruined my life. I can't fuck with anybody anymore because you two can be sued now. We could be sued before.

No, no, but... We weren't off the grid until we got a job. You could be sued the same way I'm technically being sued by Visa and MasterCard. It's not real. It's not. It's fake.

The old Ed Milo. I felt bad. I couldn't get over it. Multiple people have said this to me. They said, because I couldn't get it to work. I kept trying to contact this guy, and I just was so upset about it. And people were like,

well, why don't you make something up, and then you can do a bit or whatever. And I thought I don't I won't lie to these people the IRS maybe you people my girlfriend

maybe you people the guy I'm lying to in order to get him to sign up for a service that's a fraudulent non-profit? Maybe. You people? Well, I appreciate the fucking effort, man. Dude, I've been up for days.

I'm not fucking with you, man. I'm tired. I haven't slept in forever. It was all worth it for that loose string of anecdotes you just told us. This is why I didn't want to put it into a... Why don't I put that into a projector? In a very slow few minutes. Well,

we got you up here anyway, so we're going to have you hang out for... We have a couple little quick surprises and then we're going to play one of our favorite games of all time. But real quick, you want to flip to the next slide? We got video messages from people from the show's history who wanted to be here but couldn't. And I want to temper expectations. A lot of you

tagged the famous people, hoping they would post. They did not. But instead, here's Evan Cassidy. Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah, dude! What's going on? It's your boy, the Cass, man. Fuck yeah, nation, man. I just want to say congrats on

all the success over the years. You know, I know it's bittersweet for some of the fans, but I kind of see this as like your nirvana becoming the Foo Fighters. And I think the Foo Fighters are pretty underrated by critics, you know? So I'm excited about all your future projects that I know will be coming out soon. And just keep doing your thing you know I mean uh the Foo Fighters era bro you know people in LA are like oh we're too cool for the Foo Fighters but you know is it kind of bold to compare you guys to Nirvana yeah maybe but you

guys are kind of like the Nirvana of dildo puns or whatever by the way love you dudes fuck yeah flip to the next one By the way, love you dudes. Fuck yeah. Flip to the next one. Here's Pat Barker who my computer fattened. Look at that big Philadelphia head. Look at all those fucking trees and shit. I want to say congratulations. Thank you as a fan for all of the entertainment

over the years. Congratulations to you guys. I'm really excited for the reunion tour when Spade gets Me Too'd someday. But until then, Carnock Dawson 2020 and long live the Cone Zone. You got that.

Before we move on, when he brought the camera up to show the trees, did anyone else think he was trying to find an unfat angle of himself? As somebody who's done that a lot of times on a lot of Tinders, yes. Alright, and we really played those

ones to play when you actually want to see. Here's Opie. Yeah! Hey, Mean Boys fans. It's me, Opie, the Nick Fury of the Mean Boys. Shut up, Opie. I'm also the Falcon, Black Panther, Brody, the other black dude from Black Panther, Killmonger. I'm all the niggas.

It's the end of the road. Oh, no, this is so sad. I just want to say thank you guys for being the greatest fans ever. I love how you fucking Hollywooded this out, dude. Continually supporting the podcast and supporting people like me supporting the podcast and supporting people like me on the podcast a bunch y'all are so dope

and I can't wait to hope to run into you bambas on the fucking road or wherever the fuck y'all are at much love to every single last one of y'all and even the ones who came to the fucking dilapidated slum house that

you guys are currently watching this shit in. Y'all are the best. I wish y'all nothing but the best. Much love. Okay, Jesus fucking Christ, LP, wrap it up. Fucking pineapple. God is

light. Yeah, we've got Spongebob's house appearing anonymously here. I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it. No, I'm not going to hell like you niggas are. No, I'm going to heaven.

I'm going to black heaven. Way more fun than white heaven. The rest of that is expensive, but it's way more fun. You guys talked over the setup today. Love you guys. Peace. One more time for Opie, everybody.

A man so sad, even his dreadlocks were flying at that time. Hey, Keith, question. Question. When you went down to the – have you gone down to the basement since you've moved out? Yeah. When you went down there for the first time, did Badfinger start playing? Like the Breaking Bad, like right when you saw The Lab for the first time? Freebird.

Freebird. By the way, I want to point out to the listening audience, I don't know why this happened, but somebody threw a piñata out our window as that video was playing. I thought it was because the opium was black. I really did. It's a skeleton, but only the front's painted, and we didn't see the front, so it looked weird and upsetting. Also, please do not wander around the house.

Stay in the bathroom or outside, or I will punch you. We're at the end of the line outside or I will punch you. Understood. You guys, we're at the end of the line. Hold on, hold on. Okay. That Breaking Bad joke was funny. All right.

Go ahead. You good? And you shall carry on. Hey, demanding applause for a bass hit Is kind of my thing If you want to keep riffing on the joke that didn't work You can or we can play the Tom Goss lightning round

Ramsey give him that one you come over here Everybody knows the lightning round right If you guys got any, shout them out. Take videos, do all that stuff. Trader Joe's products. Okay, sure, start us off. We're starting? Hippie Walmart.

Baby Shark. Oh, fucking ringtone song. Salamander. Oh, man. Thin lizard. Whiskey. Oh, super beer.

Sperm banks. What? Sperm banks. Oh, fucking doubled out purpose. Cum store. I don't know doubled out purpose. That's it. The, the, the, the, the cum store. I don't know what you want. There we go. Grandfather clocks.

Okay, uh, uh, big tick tick. Nihilism. Uh, uh, nihilism? Um, uh, uh, fucking, uh, uh, goodbye to God. Saxophone. Okay, uh, uh, uh, curve trumpet. goodbye to God. Saxophone. Okay. Curve trumpet. All right.

The kitchen where you used to live. Oh, fucking sad sleep place. That tree. Huh? Oh, fucking... What? The thing that would hit me in the morning while I was drinking coffee. Well, the grape... Did you guys ever have a grapefruit

fall on your coffee cup? No. Did Tom ever tell you about when he discovered gravity? Gravity. Gravity. Fucking upside down, but that way.

Art. Art? This is how I feel. Iran. Oh, fucking... Have you guys heard about it? Have you guys seen it? Oh, fucking...

Sleeping good time forever Catholicism Okay, we love Jesus and children Alright, Tom Name seven things you won't miss about mean boys Okay, Connor, Keith Writing Fucking Shit Uh, uh, uh, uh, writing.

Uh, uh, fucking, uh, shit. Uh, fucking, uh, living in the kitchen. Uh, uh, fucking, this house. Uh, the fucking, uh, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Uh, da-da-da-da. Carnock. Uh, uh. Well, fuck you, too.

Conversations about shoes. Uh. You know what? I'm going to make that one through seven because I'm going to miss those other parts. All right. Tom, name seven nouns. Nouns? Okay. Dog.

Noun. Pizza. Camera. Fuck. What did you make? Hat. Organization. Fucking. Is profit a noun? uh uh uh fuck what did you make a hat uh uh organization uh uh fucking uh prop prop is profit enough profit the profits out of this that's an album profit let's go uh fucking chair that guy you people uh microphone cable, broken air conditioner, projector, Bluetooth thing, laptop, water.

Seven things you're going to do after Mean Boys. Oh, hunger, sleep, death, cum, sleep, put a shirt on, and drink. Yeah, fuck, dude. You guys want to pitch any other ones so we can continue to procrastinate? Gypsy. What? Gypsy.

Gypsy? Hey, get the fuck out of here. Tree. Get in the car. We need the tree. The tree's a grow you stick. Name seven medical problems you've had depression psychosis the hair's too long uh pancreatitis uh my foot goes to sleep sometimes sometimes i couldn't wake up sometimes i couldn couldn't fall asleep. That's seven. I could continue.

Grapefruit coffee. All right. I have one. This might be a real good one. Name seven jobs Rams you would be good at. Okay. Stealing. A vape attorney.

Hat salesman. Shirt mannequin. fucking wallet guy that one I would like you to stop and explain wallet guy? it's like an accountant that you don't need to get the money back from I'd be very good at that like a plumber

Ex-wife And friend Wow I was gonna say Dame Seven Birds Oh, fucking Blue Jay, Pigeon, Sparrow, Kaik Raven Thank you Oh, your belly button?

Look, here's the thing, man, the tattoo's faded. It looks like a medallion. I don't know what that is. I know you were going for peacock. It looks like a Mayan cow. It looks like a child trying to color in a pigeon in a coloring book. It looks like the cheapest trying to color in a pigeon in a coloring book. It looks like the cheapest flower at the worst pharmacy.

And Tom wants that coloring book back. Anybody? There are seven nightmares you've had. No, fuck. Okay, I don't dream anymore. When I did, hanging from a ceiling. You asked, fuck you. Fucking something about a ceiling. You ask. Fuck you. Fucking something

about a canyon. I had a dream about me and Connor went on a drive. Fucking, I had a weird dream about, who was that oven guy?

George Foreman. Really thought it was going to be Hitler. It was really Hitler on that one. Nightmare, it was all there. Fucking all sorts of weird claymation shit. And you know what?

The fucking... I don't dream about Karnak. All right, name seven people that are here tonight. Okay. That guy. That guy. That guy. Manlea.

Guy who's been texting on the phone with the dog. Josh Shakespeare. He was excited to be the only black guy and he's not. Sorry, man. Fucking big man. Annie. Fucking

the gender couple, uh, is, uh... I love you, Robin and Kate. I love you guys. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on. Is there another black guy here? I'm fairly confident he means the piñata.

Take a high five. Yeah! All of a sudden, Opie paraglides it. That was... I came from a muffin pan. That was the craziest thing that happened at the show so far. I can't believe it. Wow.

Do you want to do yours? I have one to close on. All right, yeah. Name seven people that could beat up Isaac Hirsch. Fucking that guy. Fucking Ramsey. Kyle. Nat.

This dude. The dog. Isaac's girlfriend. Very nice gal. And fucking Scottish. All right, last one, Tom. Name the seven best things that have happened to you since we started doing Mean Boys. Okay, an ending.

Fucking making noises with my mouth towards you guys and reciprocating. The tour, the Midwest tour, the Southern tour, fucking all the meltdowns, all the times we went to the hospital together. Fucking meeting you guys for the first time. Fucking hearing the dog story for a first time

is all up there. The first time I pissed you guys off with Mr. Ear. Fucking. Fucking. Honestly, when the Patreon was released, I thought we were going to make $23. The fact you guys gave a fuck, that was jarring to me. Fucking. I mean, it's all good memories.

Even the ones where at the moment I hated you guys. It's all good memories now. Aw. And I still moment I hated you guys. It's all good memories now. And I still hate you guys. There we go. Well, guys, I think that's the last meme, boys. I love you so much. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you gave a fuck and you came out and you've listened to us make fun of each other for all these years. We're all completely

fucking different people and when we started this stupid thing and just I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me. It's really fucking beautiful. The only thing that's ever really made me happy is yelling dumb slurs at my fat and gay friends. And the fact that you guys have

encouraged that for this long is insane to me. So thank you so much. I'm super. Yeah, it means a lot to all three of us. I still don't feel comfortable being sentimental about it because that means it's real. So I'm going to know. I'm just going to close by saying I'm really excited to not pretend I'm an idiot in front of you fucking idiots. Yeah.

Cheers up for that. And you guys, you know how we close every show. And it's going to be a little different this time. Kyle, hit the next slide. Yeah. All right. On the count of three. One, two, three.

Fuck everything. Mean Boys is dead. All right, everybody. I love you! Love you guys. We should get off the stage, right? Yeah, we're still gonna be here. Come say hi, please. We want to say hi to everybody.

And take some stickers, for the love of God. We don't fucking... Yeah, take some shit. And I get the feeling you've been cheated. Good night.