Mean Boys - EP 48 - Absinthe Gravy (feat. Evan Cassidy)

Episode Date: February 21, 2017

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, “Dog Mayor”, “New Names”, “Carnok’s Oscar Preview” and a game of “Which of the Following” with Street Artists. Watch the new Burn Booth: https://youtu.be/J4RS0ErEc1k Follow our guest Evan Cassidy on Twitter: twitter.com/TheCassMan Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Visit us on the web at www.meanboyspodcast.com Like us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-mon…tore/id515449028) Buy Keith’s album (itunes.apple.com/us/album/forever-nap/id1105182043) We are proudly sponsored by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla California (http://eataburrito.com) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, gang. It's Connor and Keith from the Mean Boys Podcast. Hey, we just wanted to thank you guys for listening. As always, please rate and review on iTunes. Leave a comment. Help us look semi-legitimate. Yeah. We are coming up on our 50th episode.

Very, very exciting. Thank you for your continued support. Yeah, that is fucking insane. Yeah. Thank you guys very much for listening to this weird nonsense fire of a show. Our 50th episode is going to be pretty cool. We have a special guest. We're not going to announce it quite yet, but a pretty cool get.

And I promise it's a real one and not just me doing car knock for an hour. Yeah. As much as you would probably prefer that to any person of any level of legitimacy. Probably. But we are going to speak ill of our betters on the 50th episode, and that's going to be a lot of fun. Yeah. Good times. Please support our sponsor, as always, Don Carlos Tacos down in La Jolla, California.

Go to eataborito.com for more information and go harass Ryan who works there about the Carnacasada burrito because that should be ready by now we gave him the specs now we wait for the burrito architecture to take place deliver the Death Star plans many Bothans died to bring you this probably pretty good burrito

but no they really really are good and they do deliveries and stuff so if you're anywhere near them hit them up them, hit them up. Speaking of hit them up, there's going to be an East Coast-West Coast roast battle feud. You would be wise to check out. Keith Carey will be in New York. I will be at The Stand March 7th fighting against one of New York's finest, Mr. Scott Chaplin. And I will be at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles lighting the starter's pistol.

That's not how you shoot a pistol. It's a flintlock. Whatever. It's an old-timey fucking musket. Lighting the starter's musket on this hip-hop feud. You're really whitening it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Respecting Mr. J.P. McDade.

Basically handsome me. So that should be an excellent time. Very handsome, Connor. Also, a new edition of The Burn Booth is out on YouTube and Facebook or whatever. You can Google that. It's me and Keith shitting on people in San Diego. It's a good time. Yeah. Anything else? No, I don't think so. Enjoy the show, gang. Later, dicks.

Hey, everybody. My world's on fire, and so is yours. Welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast. I'm Connor McSpadden. I'm Keith Carey. And I'm... OxyCut and Dr. Seuss. Oh my gosh, that's the dream right there.

Just an adorable dumpster fire that's always making up words. Evan Cassidy in the studio today, inventor of the Cast Manubonic System. Indeed, indeed. Happy to offer lessons. All right, hit me up Craigslist. Man of a million characters, three of which are kind of memorable. Oh, damn. Jeez Louise.

Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots. Every bunny. It ain't April. This ain't Nice Boys. We're playing this game. Ooh, Nice Boys draws nigh, listeners. Oh, God help us all. It's a commitment we've made to do once a year, and I still have been dreading it since April 2nd, 2016.

I don't know if we'll make it out of the next one alive. Yeah. I essentially host the Nice Boys podcast. That's my... Yeah, listen to Rippin' and Scape'n with Evan and Kevin. It's spelled impossibly. Well, Evan was starting this podcast. He was like, we're going to call it Rippin' and Skippin'.

I was like, oh, that's a fun name. It kind of gets the vibe of the show. And he's like, yeah, well, we're going to spell it R-I-P-N-N-N-S-K-I-P-N. It's spelled with more apostrophes than the names of all the black women you've dated combined. You have a knack for creating un-Google-able names for things. Well, to my credit, I took the ampersand sign and the upside-down exclamation point out. It's a little more legible.

We have the first all-wingdings podcast. Evan's a big linguistics nerd. Don't act like you don't know what the upside-down exclamation point is called. Does it have a name? I honestly don't know. I feel like I'm betraying the people of the neighborhood here. Evan knows a lot about French verbs and stuff like that. If you want to talk about the passé-composé tense...

We surely don't. That's the vice president, right? Maybe it. All right, gang. We're all fired up. Let's get into the Mexican joke-off. I'll take us away tsa agents have confiscated 13 pounds of horse tendrils at a virginia airport no word yet on how keith carry will continue to perform without all of his jokes i knew it was gonna be me you got some

horse dick jokes carry solid nasa is planning to send a submarine to jupiter's largest moon titan said project leader tom goss quote yeah's great. It's even got a screen door. A screen door submarine. Good operation. In a recent speech, Donald Trump referenced a terrorist attack in Sweden that never occurred. He clarified he was talking about crime in general, more specifically that the winner of Miss Sweden pageant had recently gained 10 pounds. Start off with a long one.

That's actually pretty good. Oh, thanks. That was good. I like when we get New Yorkery on the show. I'm a big fan. Like, ooh, yeah, the crowd is... How droll. Martini.

He's got a very skewed idea of a woman's idea of worth. Oh, we've got more of that coming up, all right? All right, joining us in the studio, a big cartoon bear that's not supposed to be inside this post office. TSA. Oh, fuck. Now it's the same one. Newly leaked information suggests that ISIS is

in deep financial trouble. Financial analysts say that they may be on the verge of filing for West bankruptcy. Not even really the right part of the Middle East, but you know, whatever. It's just clever enough to make up for how not right it is. No, it's super wrong. If they open me a line of credit, I'll take it. Kevin has many times confided in me about nervous breakdowns regarding the payments on his Guitar Center card.

We're going to have to edit that out. We're going to have to edit that name out. You have a list of ways to get money, and it's like legitimate financial gains, sketchy ones, loan shark, borrow 20 bucks from ISIS. I'll tell you, Sam Asher's sticklers. They really are. They're after my Sam Asher, I tell you. They're after my Sam Cash, you guys. Two teen girls were found dead after going for a hike.

They will be buried in a shared grave whose headstone will read, quote, OMG, we're going to be like so skinny back home. In memoriam. I like any kind of combination of vanity and kids dying. It's a winning team. A U.S. aircraft carrier patrolled the disputed South China Sea after reports of unarmed black whales. Is that even a kind of whale? Blue whales?

I mean, most whales are unarmed. Well, these Chinese ones. I don't know what that means. Evan Cassidy, whale racist. Like, it's not correct, but it's definitely racist. It belongs here. They've got ninja stars, you racist. Like, it's not correct, but it's definitely racist. It belongs here. They've got ninja stars, you guys. Whoa.

That's not even the right Asian. Wait, are ninja stars geographically specific? I mean, ninjas are from Japan. I think they're pan-Asiatic, if I can... You can't. You can't and you won't and stop. What kind of pizza is that? Oh, dude, it's got the pan-Asiatic crust.

It's a little extra at Blaze, but I mean, it's worth it. I like the deep dish Europa. That's just me. Deep dish Europa. That for sure sounds like the name of a drag queen contestant loser. I think it's me. Saudi Arabia has hosted its first Comic-Con. Finally, those 72 virgins they've been waiting for.

I know it's not great. You know what? I did this last night. It was pretty... I like that you're apologizing for it before we had a chance to react. I couldn't... Two morning radio hosts were gunned down during a live broadcast. They will be remembered with a memorial, quote,

Morning in the morning with DJ Dirt Nap and the Reaper. DJ Dirt Nap is kind of a great DJ. Isn't it, though? Spinning the hottest 90s new metal. I almost changed it. I'm like, that's too good of a name. All right. Defense Secretary Mattis told Iraq that there were no U.S. plans to seize their oil.

He added, don't get me wrong. We're going to take it. We're just going to kind of improvise it. We're just going to wing it. We're going to keep it loosey goose Yeah, I don't know What about U.S. foreign policy in the last decade? It suggested a lot of premeditated thought Yes, and this is ours now

It's going to be the Herald format Oh man, they just made the U.S. oil season grades public It's a very inside comedy UCB theater reference I apologize to our listeners. Five middle schoolers are facing charges after throwing a 2x4 at a vehicle in Trump's motorcade. The kids are being touted as the only 13-year-olds that don't suck. Here, here. Raise them high and give them all the hot cheetos.

That's like way to... Like when I was 13, we were just like, oh, let's ride our bikes to A.M.P.M. and get monsters and get a headache. These ones are like, let's kill the president. Yeah, how rad is that? Kids fucking rip. Class warfare on recess, you know? Class warfare? I'm fighting against these classes. When am I actually going to use math, bro?

Stick. Mel Gibson is being courted to direct the upcoming sequel to Suicide Squad. This is a big month for Mel. He was nominated for Best Director at the Academy Awards, and Trump just appointed him Secretary of Keeping an Eye on the Hebes. Is that a new department? Yeah. You gotta watch them.

See what they're up to. It's funded by the West Bank... West Bank rep? Yeah. Oh, yeah, but my West Bank card got declined. Man, the overdraft fees, they take a hand. Jeez Louise. This one's kind of um gp official in utah james green resigned after criticizing an equal pay bill for women in a statement he issued to the press he said men deserve more as the bike helmet winners of the family you know i had i had an alternate punchline. Salt Lake City County Landfill.

It's been a while. I had an alternate punchline about a women burning pink bike helmet that was just as bad. I mean, it couldn't have been as bad. It was so terrible. At least that one, it was so convoluted, I would have assumed I was stupid and didn't get it and maybe pretended to laugh. We're being too hard on Evan. It wasn't very good, but at least it took a while.

Connor, you want to? Yeah. Thousands of villagers in northern India are afraid to leave their homes in light of a string of attacks by a rogue, bloodthirsty tiger. One community leader said that on the bright side, being terrorized by an orange monster is the closest we've ever come to living in the first world. Trump a tiger, dog. Yo, what? He ain't got no black stripes. He don't trust them.

Los Angeles was rocked by a storm that meteorologists named, quote, Lucifer. The name narrowly beat out other contenders, Tropical Storm Titty Puncher, and Hurricane I Don't Have a Bedtime. Yeah, the edgy-ass name. I got to figure, hurricane names, they have a list. I remember seeing on the news when I was a kid, this one lady protesting that there weren't enough hurricanes with black names. You know? Like, we're gentrifying hurricanes.

A hurricane is a black name? Fair. Hurricane. But I figured there was a list of, alright, now it's Hurricane Tyrese's turn or whatever. But like, Pacific Storm, there's so few of them that it's probably like, you know, that we're probably a day back to Bible times. Yeah. Because I saw it was called Lucifer and I was like, is he going to fucking rain blood

or knives or what's about to happen? Slayered. Yeah. And then it rained for four hours. The storm angel of death coming soon as well um uh a 64 year old spanish woman recently gave birth to twins the father of the children christopher columbus had reportedly passed away centuries ago of natural causes what she's old she's old and so her father the father's christopher columbus all right but how did he conceive him when he was dead

Did he freeze his sperm The idea is that she's so old that he fucked her when he was alive It was a bungled one I mean It was a bungler The bungled one Rises in the force of South America To deliver his botched joke Beware the bungler

I tried to write one about Scarlett johansson's pussy but that uh that one didn't well you got to tell it now yeah let's just give us the give us the thrust of it we'll try to oh i didn't even go what she said she she came out and said she's uh doesn't believe in monogamy and i didn't really i was just like you know she's got a different perspective on sexuality she gets to touch scarlett johansson's pussy that's great that's way more a riff though than it's it still is funny that's just a funny opinion to have about someone's pussy oh i've got plenty of hope she supports monobomy oh

dj dirt nap all right my bob my knob of me. Alright, I'm cutting this off. We'll see you on the other side of the break. Can iTunes fire you guys? Can it happen? I don't know. There's been like 38 episodes of Rippin' and Skippin'. I gotta figure now. 41, damn you!

Wretched pig children, weep tears of piss and feel your organs tremble at the unholy proclamations of Karnak, the Bloodfeaster. I have returned to my dominion of eternal suffering, ruling over with an iron fist and beheading those who oppose me, and quite a few that support me as well, just to keep my skills sharp. You miss 100% of the heads you do not remove. It has been brought to my attention that you feeble meat puddles of the Earthrealm are preparing for your Academy Awards. So puny, so short-sighted. You gather in your cleanest robes and fillet one another with trophies and accolades. You know nothing of art. In my land, there is only one film.

It is entitled The Glory of Karnak, and it depicts my rise to the Blade Throne. It is the first motion picture to feature an all-skeleton cast, and was filmed on 35mm intestines from the heretics who spoke against me, and it can only be projected from inside the hollowed skull of a goblin prince. The film is 900 hours long, and the score is so loud that all who witness it are driven deaf.

Their fragile brain meat scrambled like the eggs of the noble blood falcon. Suck on that, Hans Zimmer! It features sword play, knife play, crossbow play, and full frontal, rear, and internal nudity. Spoiler alert, I win, and everyone else gets mutilated, raped, or both. It received universal acclaim, with Peter

Travers calling it, quote, proof of the absence of God, and Roger Ebert saying, quote, yes, it's wonderful, whatever you say, please give me back my jaw. Nonetheless, during an arduous day of preparing my troops for an invasion of the necrotic peninsula to usurp the warlord Baron Pig Fetus, I decided to watch your so-called best films of the year.

Suffice to say, I was not fucking impressed. Arrival depicts a peaceful invasion of Earth. Peace? The idea makes my blood boil. We do not even have a word for peace in my world. You have a film called Fences, but these fences have no rotten carcasses

perched atop them, no razor wire fortification. If the fences cannot contain the anger of Denzel Washington, how will they keep up the Spider King? Hell or high water? The answer is hell! Water is for cowards!

Your dark prophet Mel Gibson released Hacksaw Ridge, and while I have previously enjoyed his tirades against the bastard sons of Yahweh, Carnock thought it was a bit on the nose and dragged in the second act. Moonlight? No werewolves. Hidden figures? Nary a phantom in sight. Lion? You get where I'm going with this! And don't get Carnock started

on Manchester by the sea. Who would care to watch the putrid tears of a weak and feeble Bostonian? Yo, you talking shit on Boston, kid? Silence, Malloy! Back in your cage for another two weeks. And then there is La La Land.

Hear me, Earthrealm. La La Land is a delight! Its story of dreamers and its production numbers are an inspiring and sumptuous feast for the eyes and the heart. Nobody is more surprised by this opinion than Carnock. Let those who

oppose La La Land be flayed with a straight razor and torn open by the prying fingers of the beasts that live in the dark below. You are the true monsters, and it's not a race thing. Get over yourselves. John Legend is in it, and he is technically black. So sayeth

Carnock. Fear the encroaching darkness, but take a couple hours off to see the motion picture event of the year. Until next time, servants, here's to the ones that scream! All right, everybody. The Mean Boys Podcast is back. It's time to play Keith's favorite game, New Names.

It's time for New Names! New Names! Yeah! I remember! I think you called all the things now. Actually, I enjoy it more now. Yeah, no, I mean, I just like to imply you know, imply that you're having a bad time. I'm having a bad time.

I'm literally recording this dumb podcast and then going to get a tooth removed from my head. Yeah, having a bad enough time. When's the last time you went to the dentist, Keith? The other day when they told me I had to get the tooth pulled out of my head. I was about to say before that. The last time they told me I should get a tooth pulled out of my head. Like a year ago. Yeah, Keith's really had the check engine light on in

his mouth for a good day it's a fucking haunted house in there it's bad news just creaking and the it looks like a fucking piano that fell off a building well you know but and the first roast we were the first orange county comedy roast many years ago uh for olivia grace's birthday i said that keith's teeth look like you made a grill out of a tombstone pizza which is still one of the funniest things anyone's ever said about me yeah and that's kind of that was that was the starter's pistol for the uh the rest of our uh dumb careers uh but any who's uh i'll i'll start us off if you don't mind do it this is uh when i thought of the other day a new name for the bang bus the gash cab i i like that but i hate the idea that ben bailey's just there creeping around

i don't know i feel like like those guys, you know, the bang brothers don't have really great comedic timing. I think they might benefit from a, you know, from a strong, uh, fair enough. I've been sending them tapes,

but I mean, nothing. Oh my God. Brazzers or whoever, if you're listening, please let us host the bank bus, dude. Yeah.

I mean, I, there's this one episode of, uh, of, uh, of bang bus that I remember seeing when I was a kid where this guy's like, yeah,

man, fucking homeless chicks is so down. You just like, fuck them and leave them. They don't have a kid where this guy's like, yeah, man, fucking homeless chicks are so down. You just like fuck them and leave them. They don't have a home. And I'm like, oh my God, it's hauntingly evil. That is maniacal. I'm not supposed to encounter moral dilemmas with a boner. That's how I encounter most of mine.

Well, we lead different lives, Gary. True that. New name, The Truth will now be known as historical fiction. Oh, man. New Yorker mean boys. Yeah, about to say, this is a fucking Noam Chomsky presents new names. They get dumber, don't worry. Okay, good.

New name, the menstrual cycle will be called the Pooner Eclipse. We can team up with Gash Cab and make it an empire. You can't bring the Pooner Eclipse into the Gash Cab. You're going to fuck up the leather. Oh, no. That's nasty. Bro. Get out of my cab.

It's not for blood. It's for other goo. All right. These get a lot worse after Bang Bus. New name for monkey pussy, orangutan. Oh my God. What?

Get some of that orangutan. Well, let's close off this threefer with a bad time. Cum will now be known as pee with an attitude. The original version was pee with with an attitude. The original version was pee with a fox attitude. And I don't know why. Or absinthe gravy, maybe.

Oh, we're going to do a great discussion of absinthe gravy. Call back to Connors off Mike Riff. Yeah, Keith is doing some real painkillers-y writing right now, which I'm enjoying. This segment brought to you by codeine. Wait till you see next week's episode. Oh, yeah, no, fucking full of horrible gum pain and sedatives.

Everything will now be known as fuck it. The People's Federation of Russia will now be called Hackerstan. I fucked that one up. Is that even the technical name for Russia, the People's Federation? Russia will now be called Hackerstan. I fucked that one up with this. Is that even the name?

Is that even like the technical name for Russia? The People's Federation? I'm pretty sure that's some Star Trek shit. In Soviet Russia, Newark County Landfill is better than you. It's something,

it's something, or it might just be Russian Federation. I don't know. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna apologize to Russia, you guys. All right?

Okay, a new name for Beyonce's twins, Destiny's Grandchildren. That's one for the fucking Reader's Digest pages. I am shocked that out of the hundreds of basic bitches I follow on Twitter and Facebook, not one of them made that joke.

Yeah, I looked it up. I didn't see it. That is a pumpkin spice ass riff. All right. New name, Facebook Live will now be known as Racist Uncle, the movie. Man, now let me tell you. Oh, no. Like, you know, there's a way that someone starts an opinion where you just know it's not going to be a good one.

Here's the thing about Jews. I didn't want to tell this one, but new name for transgender people, gender juggalos. Evan. Oh, no. Someone off camera. I mean, to be fair, if they had a hatchet, they could have solved this whole problem. We're all off camera. This is an audio medium.

We've got Brian Redband filming it right now. I have to say I'm a huge fan of the insane clown posse, so that's... That's who you're afraid of offending is the insane clown posse and not the insane clowns who want pussies. It's an empowering pun. It's an empowering pun. I disagree, but... Moving on. Hi, but moving on. Hi, Robin.

Yeah. How about something a little friendlier? In light of Charles Barkley looking kind of retarded, he will now be called Radio Shack. God damn it. It had to live somewhere. Yeah. We wrote that for something that we couldn't use it for. America's got no room for that joke.

New name, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer will now be known as Screamy Spice. That's a fun one. Yeah, it's goofy. New name for the discipline of psychology. Psychology will now be called White Girl Voodoo. A lot of white girls studying it, alright?

Yeah, Evan, you're going to be an Oregon psychologist, was one of your earlier journeys? You know, I had a whole gig lined up. I was a psych major. Give people the gist of Oregon therapy, because you've explained it to me before, and it's some pretty weird mean boys-ass shit. It's like primal scream kind of. Yeah, I was into a lot of primal scream, gestalt therapy.

I went down rabbit holes when I was 16. You did with mental disciplines like what most teenagers do with black metal, but you're also kind of doing it with black metal at the same time. Oh, yeah. Dude, screamo therapy is the best, man. You cut yourself, you do curls, you know?

What? Alright, closing us out, I'll say new name for Milo Yiannopoulos. Perez Hilt... Damn it. Perez Hitler. Oh, man. That's pretty good. It's Perez Hilton and Hitler.

Oh, fuck that, dude. Yeah. He doesn't even have any opinion. He just is like... I know. I was talking to my dad about this. He just kind of subsists off his, like, I'm a gay Republican. How wacky is that?

And it's like he's like the Larry the Cable guy of you know political commentators yeah and i've never seen anyone trying as hard as him wearing those fucking pearls on tv oh yeah yeah like i got several messages from like gay dudes i know who were just like no self-respecting gay man is wearing pearls oh yeah like he just was like how can i like be the most obnoxious. Yeah. More like Milo Yonopolis, you guys. New name. Evan Cassidy will now be known as the world's youngest 53-year-old. You look gross, Evan. This was a commentary on his humor.

Oh, no. That was actually my new name. Oh, okay. Well, there we are. Close it out. Oh, we did another one? Oh another oh jeez i don't know uh god this would be good i just had uh i have another good one but uh i had you didn't have one good i had sorry i had new name truckers uber for boxes fucking idiot it's a little more lighthearted than gender juggalos we should have opened with that one

I love that you keep being like oh I guess I have one more and that ends up being the best part of the whole show oh I forgot when I thought of in the car new name for gun stores harmacies prescription for death. All right, the Mean Boys podcast will reluctantly return. In July of 2012, the unincorporated town of Idlewild, California,

elected a golden retriever named Max to be their mayor. After a divisive election, Max won two-thirds of the vote and proudly led the town until his death in 2014. Today, we look back on the life of Idlewild's first dog mayor and the controversial struggle for power that underscored his journey from the backyard to the history books. One of his fiercest political opponents, Bernie Sanders, ran vicious attack ads funded by his Eats Grassroots to Poop movement. What do we really know about Max Hussein the dog?

How's he gonna run the city when he's always playing poker with his buddies? He rolls over for special interests and tummy scratches and he's in the pocket of big corporations, probably because he thinks there's food in there. He's paranoid. When his cabinet leaves for the day, he thinks they're never coming home again. He hired the editor-in-chief of Breitbart to be his chief advisor. He's in bed with the Russians, and he knows he's not allowed in bed. He's against LGBT rights, but he's been sniffing butts for years. There's a lot of dirt on Max, and not just

from digging in the backyard. Upon taking the oath of ARF-us, Max made bold moves to try to bring together a divided community. A controversial first week for Mayor Max, he issued an executive order completely defunding the post office. He's facing accusations of being anti-American after outlawing fireworks in the city of Idyllwild, and the controversial muzzle ban has sparked protests around the globe. The mayor, after boarding Air Bud 1 en route to the Middle East, plans to meet with the Israelis and the Palestinians to propose a two-stake solution. The mayor says he has hopes for a productive meeting, even as there are rumblings at home of impoochment in the doghouse of representatives. Seen here next to a Secret Service dog holding the nuclear tennis ball,

the mayor is shaking hands with foreign dignitaries after surviving an attempt on his life when a would-be assassin attempted to put chocolate in his bowl. Max's administration seemed to be on track to be an embarrassing footnote in the story of Idlewild, but after a speech made at the electric fence separating East and West Berlin, his popularity soared. I have a dream. It's of me running around a bunch. And it was not long ago that dogs like me weren't even allowed in most restaurants, but we shall rover come.

How can I be racist when I can't even see color? I got right up against that glass ceiling and got confused for a second because I thought there was another dog in there. And I offer now these words of inclusion in this divisive time. Ich bin ein a dog. Now, Mr. Gorbachev, let me outside. Mr. Gorbachev, I have to poop. Now, ask not what your country can do for you, but ask instead. After the iconic speech, approval ratings showed 80% of the citizens of Idlewild thought Max was, quote, a good boy, a very, very good boy. But at the peak of his public support, tragedy struck. Mayor Max has been assassinated today. He was hanging his head out the window on a car ride when he was shot by suspect Lee Tabby Oswald.

The mayor is survived by his widow, Jackie. Oh, oh, oh, oh. We may never get conclusive closure about Oswald's guilt, as when he was brought in for questioning, he was shot by Jack. A Ruby. The Max administration may have been short,

but he remains one of the most popular leaders in Idlewild's history. Many wondered how they could ever replace him after his passing, but then they remembered they could just get

another fucking dog. Ladies and gentlemen, the Mean Boys podcast returns with our final and favorite segment. Boys, let's play a round of Which of the Following. This one, inspired by my recent 3 a.m. viewing of Exit Through the Gift Shop, is Which of the Following is not a real street artist? Okay. Street artist from the 70s to modern day. Gotcha.

All batshit retarded names, you know, where like, I don't know. Wes Banksy. Yeah, the thing about street art is it seems like you kind of pick a name when you're a teenager, then you're kind of stuck with it because you've already developed a reputation. You know what I mean? When you're a 35-year-old man named fucking cheese wasler or whatever yeah exactly so uh let's begin which of the families are real street artists a butter boy b borf c space invader or d neck face three of these sound like insults that were hurled at me at various times living in this house. There's a lot of Keith Carey-esque descriptors in here.

Fair enough. I believe round three is the Keith Carey round. Oh, good. And Butter Boy didn't make the cut? Nah. Oh, Christ. I'm going to guess Borf, because I feel like that's something only I could have come up with. Only you and I.

Borf? Borf seems like the sound of you vomiting up Jägermeister you didn't drink. Borf is like a Mad Magazine sound effect for Keith getting off a couch or something. Borf! Are these worldwide artists? They were big enough to make the Wikipedia and or Complex list of top 50 street artists. I mean, that could be a Swedish president. One of the ones I made up ended up being a SoundCloud rapper, and I'll reveal that later.

Oh, wow. I know for sure one of these is real. Okay. So I am going to say, what was A again? Butterboy. That was D. D was neck face. I'm going to say D, neck face.

Cass. I said Borf, but that could be some Swedish artist or something. Who's killed in that terrorist attack? I'm going to guess neck face as well. The fake one is A, Butter Boy. Neck face is real. How little sense does that make? Yeah.

All right, moving on. Number two, which of the following is not a real street artist? A, Alec Monopoly. All right, moving on. Number two, which of the following is not a real street artist? A, Alec Monopoly, B, Slinkachu, C, Eat Spray Love, or D, Trust-O-Corp? Slinkachu sounds like a slur against someone.

Yeah. Yeah, these nice neighborhoods before these Slinkachus moved in. These slinkachus are more like slinking Jews. Slinking, like how reptiles do. Don't back away. We're all in this with their slinking logs. I don't even know.

Slinking Jews does sound like me. Two in the slink, one in the World Bank. Jesus. That does sound like the pioneers of Israelrael it was like it was the slinking jews that settled in israel brought nothing but their slinks yeah mesopotamianic alamalamics i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna guess eat spray love i i don't think i mean that there's too much of a sexual pun in there that i've sensed mean boys uh origin of that's really bad, but I don't think it's the kind of bad you would make up. So I'm going to say...

No, I think it is. I'm going to say C. Eat, spray, love is fake. Because you spray with the spray can. Nobody didn't get it. Yeah. No, a lot of these just come down to me going on Rhyme Zone and trying to... Mean Boys podcast is basically brought to you by Rhyme Zone.

Is that a real thing? Yeah, it's the website where you just put in a word and it gives everything that rhymes with it. I use it for jolly jokes for kids a lot. Oh, God. Destroy the servers. Which of the following is not a real street artist? A. Swampy. B. Stinkfish.

C. D. Asterisk's face. Or D, crime balls. It's crime balls. Come on. Crime balls. Is it crime balls? I'm going to go with crime balls.

I think it's crime balls. Just a ball gut instinct. It's crime balls. Just a ball gut instinct. It's crime balls. It's not the worst name for a street artist. No, it's not, but it's also not real. Damn it. I'm going to go spray crime balls after I leave here. Just take on that moniker.

New graffiti artist taking Echo Park by storm. Crime balls. Commentary on the inflated taco truck pricing. Or just balls. Whatever. Crime. There's balls. There's a lot of stuff going on.

You got it? Number four. Which of the following is not a real street artist? A. LMAQ. B. Round Square. All one word.

C. Les Interruptus. Or D. Faux Real. Spelled Faux. F-A-U-X, and then real. I'm going to say Luz Interruptus. Was that what it was, Luz Interruptus?

Yeah, Luz Interruptus. I'm going to guess that. What's B? Round Square. I'm going to say Round Square. It sounds like you took the singer that cramps name And just threw in some Latin-y sounding bullshit Alright

The fake one is round square Keith is getting really good at witch of the following Over the years so I feel like I have to have some kind of tell That I've Yeah you do I know how to crack it a little bit I'm not going to tell you how I don't like this one bit.

I've been whiffing them usually. This one I'm just crushing. Yeah, well, any kind of urban degenerate sort of theme Keith tends to crush. I know, scuzz. Just out of his weird gutter punk instincts. Scuzzology. Gutter punk instincts. Fucking worst 12-inch compilation record on SST.

The final question, all real or all fake. Street artists. A, Monstar. B, Black Jason. C, Vandalist. D, Flop. What's C? C is Vandalist.

Vandalist. I like that it's Black Jason and regular Jason. Black Jason. These have to all be fake because the Monstars are the bad guys from Space Jam. You don't know that a guy wouldn't have adopted that as his trademark. I really fucking hope not. All fake or all real? All real or all fake.

I'm going to say all fake. Oh, man. I'll say all real. Those are all fake. Monstar is a rapper from the UK who has 1,700 SoundCloud followers. Good on him. Yeah, you know, he's doing mediocre. All right, well, that's the show for this week, gang.

Does anyone have anything they want to plug? Yeah. We don't have anything in the mailbag this week? Oh, wait, I think we do. Wait, let me pull it up. We actually had a Mexican joke that was pretty good. So while you're plugging, I'll pull it up. Okay, cool.

Well, Evan, you got any plugs? Where can they find you online? Check out, find me on Twitter at the cast man. Evan recently purchased this Twitter handle for $100 from a British man.

A very kind British man. I tweeted him and I PayPal them 100 bucks. And so follow me there and check out the Ripping and Skipping podcast. You know what I mean? If you liked Nice Boys I'll give them $100. So follow me there. And check out the Rippin' and Skippin' podcast. You know what I mean?

If you liked Nice Boys on weed, that's essentially Rippin' and Skippin'. You know what I mean? Yeah, more or less. In the mailbag, we have a question from Bleeding God. I thought that Joe K was probably the funniest guest that you guys have had on. We all loved him, and I want to meet him and probably want to suck his dick. Not really a question, just kind of a statement. By the way, I just want to let a bleeding God you got to know, I sent that message forward to Joe K and he was very flattered.

Also has a wonderful boyfriend, so probably not getting that dick. Yeah, because Keith is first in line. For sure, yes. Alright, we got some Mexican joke-offs that someone sent in. An African boy who was saved by an AIDS worker after being abandoned at age three because his parents thought he was a witch is this year ready to start his first day of

school at Hogwarts. I saw that story and was trying to come up with a joke for it. That's really fucking good. And this next one is, these come to us from Nick Noel, Twitter, at Nick R. Noel. Retired General Keith Kellogg has been appointed Trump's interim National Security

Advisor while his subordinates Snap, Crackle, and Pop have taken post on the Joint Chiefs of Shaft. Chiefs of Shaft. Chiefs of Staff. Chiefs of Shaft. Joint Chiefs of Shaft. Well, we have an episode title. That was an old new name for the Bang Bros a while back.

Was it? I think so. Joint Chiefs of Shaft. I got plugs. The day this comes out, February 21st, I will be at Harvell's in Long Beach. Come check me out. I'm headlining there with Joe Kay from the last week's episode. And me.

Oh, you're doing that? Yeah, yeah. Oh, cool. Wednesday the 22nd, I'll be at the Long Beach Laugh Factory. The weekend of the 24th and 25th, I will be at the Madhouse Comedy Club in San Diego. And March 6th, I will be in New York City at the stand on frantic and March 7th I will be in New York City doing the roast battle uh against Scott Chaplin one of New York's finest East Coast West Coast beef which I will be lighting off with my roast battle with JP

McDade at the world famous comedy store February 28th at the crack of midnight uh on the 22nd I'll be at uh that's so wrong a super duper gay comedy show in downtown L.A. at the precinct. It was a lot of fun. Last time I was there, there was a bunch of drag queens running around and sexually harassing me. And this weekend, Friday, I'm at the Ivy Room in Fresno. Saturday, I'm at the Auntie's Den in Merced. And Sunday, I'm at Barmageddon in Tulare doing the whole Connors Middle of Nowhere truck mills tour. I just liked watching your face curl up As you realized

Oh this is what I do Oh no I know With the cast man At Ivy Room And Barmageddon And Barmageddon Yes And here's the sad thing

With Mean Boys People come out to these Because that's where People live Yeah This is the weird Like you know All you have is

Dirt, hope, and us This is the methadone That keeps you alive In your sad Isolated life As the weird person in your farming community. Do you guys have any

Salt Lake listeners? Me and you and... Oh, yeah. Me and the cast man are going to be up in Salt Lake City March 9th through the 12th. Or 8th through 11th, I think.

8th through 11th. At the Golden Spike Comedy Festival in Salt Lake City. Evan Cassidy, Connor McSpadden. Whoa. I'm at... The Kings of Comedy. You can also check out March 15th Comedy Festival in Salt Lake City. Evan Cassidy, Connor McSpadden. Whoa.

I'm at Kings of Comedy. You can also check out March 15th at the Irvine Improv, An Evening with the Cast Man. But like, you know. Yeah, you know. There's also a pretty good, you know. This is the plug section. There's a Bruxy Burger. I think Logan will be out at that point.

Oh, yeah. You could also probably There's a nice park area With some AstroTurf Don't go to the show at Thoroughbred Improv But there's an Umami Burger We'll get the Hatchburger with the sweet potato fries There is a Jack Johnson cover band

On the side stage Yo for real let's google that Let's plug this Jack Johnson My dad's Kiss tribute band Will be at the Slide Bar in Fullerton on March 18th in the afternoon. And so will we. Yeah.

In the afternoon? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we're going, guys. I'm setting up a field trip. You've got to rock at a sensible time. So come check out Room Service. My dad is, I don't want to give too much away, he's working on a special guitar that might have smoke come out of it.

Smoke come out of it it's fucking retarded i cannot wait yeah uh so yeah check them out uh you know i told him that i give him a plug if you like kiss during the daylight then uh hey man i mean they don't need to hide under the cover of night all right it's just good music good times you know smoking guitars i know you're all wondering does this kiss cover band wear makeup? And the answer, of course, is no. No, they celebrate the music of Kiss. What's so ridiculous about that, fellas?

Yeah, and Hitler built good roads. All right. Yeah, and my dad told me that they're playing through the – their set list was just the track listing on the Kiss Alive album. And this nerd – and instead of closing with something, they close with Black Diamond. And this guy goes up to him and he's like, no, you guys fucked up at the end. And they're like, we know. And he's like, yeah, you got to close on Black Diamond, though.

And then nobody fucked. Definitely. I have a no makeup Misfits cover band, so I can't remember. You guys wore makeup. You know what we did that time? You wore varying levels of makeup. It was just like Tony was all the way in. And then you and Rob were just like, whatever. And the the drummer was like i got paid off craigslist to do this

we had makeup to the degree of our dignity you know well check out hybrid bromance playing sporadically uh whoever evan cassidy has curried uh strange deals uh but let's sign off for the boys ready fuck. God is dead.