Mean Boys - EP 55 - Fart Lawyer (feat. Adam Tod Brown)

Episode Date: April 11, 2017

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, "The Taco Monster", “Is This Domain Name Taken”, "Mark Malloy" and a game of “Which of the Following” with old timey insults by ableedinggod. Come to the Mean Boys live show April 18th at Harvelle's in Long Beach: https://www.facebook.com/events/218430961974042/ Listen to Tom Goss' new podcast: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/who-t…d1197690915?mt=2 Follow our guest Adam Tod Brown on Twitter: twitter.com/adamtodbrown Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Visit us on the web: www.meanboyspodcast.com Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Soundcloud: @meanboyspodcast Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-mon…tore/id515449028) Buy Keith’s album (itunes.apple.com/us/album/forever-nap/id1105182043) We are proudly sponsored by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla California (wwww.eataburrito.com) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Terms and conditions apply. Visit bmo.com slash theiporter to learn more. Hey, everybody. It's Connor and Keith from the Mean Boys Podcast. Hey, Mean Boy people. Yeah, reminding you guys that we are, as always, sponsored by Don Taco's Carlos Shop in La Jolla, Cali, Burrito. Go to eatacarlos.biz.

The finest can of ballistic Mexican food. If you like people meat, this is one place to acquireacarlos.biz The finest cannibalistic Mexican food If you like people meat this is one place to acquire it Okay Well other than that we've got a Mean Boys live show

coming up The link to that will be in the show notes and tune in to the Mean Boys Twitter page for more information It's going to be

on April 18th at Harvell's in Long Beach at 8.30pm It's going to be a fantastic show We've got some of your favorite guests coming down

including Mr. Tom Goss Mrs. Kim Congdon and the gentleman that you'll be hearing today adam todd brown of the unpopular opinion podcast we'd like to extend a big thank you to adam for coming on the show yeah this is uh truly one of the better guests we've had he's a lot of fun yeah adam was fantastic great episode uh very excited about it other than that uh we can get some nice itunes reviews from you guys thank you for that uh i think we're gonna start reading those on air at some point but yeah if you uh wouldn't mind please uh drop us a review and other than that i think just uh sit back and enjoy the show yeah

hey everybody welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast. God isn't dead, he's just sleeping through your prayers. I'm Keith Carey. I'm Connor McSpadden. And I'm... A homeless snowman. There must have been some magic in that cardboard box. That feels appropriate.

You look like you were jolly at one point, but never again. Yeah, I was... Like if Frosty watched his family get murdered, that's the energy you get. It was when I was like eight. That feels appropriate. You look like you were jolly at one point, but never again. Yeah. Like if Frosty watched his family get murdered. That's the energy you get. It was when I was like eight. Also, a little bit melted. Yeah. A springtime snowman.

I like that. Yeah. I would introduce myself, but I feel like most of your audience just knows you because you've both been on my podcast. It's fine. like most of your audience just knows you because you've both been on my podcast we are joined by adam todd brown uh host of the unpopular opinion podcast at which connor is i wouldn't say the most popular guest of all time but certainly one of the more talked about uh yeah no yeah i was described by the listeners as toxic connor toxic by the way would be a great name for my punk rock you know pseudonym if i if i was in a band the funniest thing of watching that whole debacle unfold

is part of me wanted to defend Connor and the part of me was like, well, they make some strong points. You know, he's my boy and all, but this might be a good growing experience for him. Yeah, the episode they called you toxic on was the episode where I was like,

hey, Connor was really great. I don't see it. What's the problem? The funniest thing is that after you got in that big fight with Randall, me and Randall are Twitter friends now. He seems like a cool guy. So full disclosure, I may ditch you and start the We're Okay Boys.

The We're Okay Boys. Oh, God, yeah, the agreeable boys. Yeah, the effa boys. Yeah, every once in a while, for a while in my mentions, I just get reminded, like, yep, you're not good at having conversations. Yeah, we're going to get some tweets on this one. I was working at Cracked at the time, and that's actually the last podcast

that anyone from Cracked is allowed to be on. Because I left Cracked after that, and I can't have Cracked people on my podcast. So that's how Cracked went out on the Unpops network. You shut that whole fucking swan song. Yeah, I think that probably had a little to do with it. Yeah, kick the red in the listicles. Yeah, everyone loves Elvis's last seven inch on Sun Records.

Hey, fuck that guy. 13 crazy reasons Connor's a faggot now that you don't work for the video world every correct article can be summed up as the 12 craziest generals it's all just crazy generals 15 wacky statues yeah I can't talk shit about them

I got you why are your ears bleeding Adam? I literally cannot I got you I also still read correct often I do not that's fair I think we're moving up in the world where our guests have NDAs now

pretty much alright well we'll get out of this legally dicey territory and into the Mexican joke So topical Pulling the ripcord for some mediocre topical humor I'll lead it off tonight An Asian man was forcibly removed For United Airlines flight

For this unfortunate Chinese man It really was the year of the dragon Because they dragged his ass off that plane. Oh, okay. Yeah, it worked better on paper. Because I didn't fucking get that at all. Yeah, that's why I tagged you. Shut up.

Fuck you. Eat a dick. Tell a joke. I've destroyed your podcast before. I'll do it again. You want to get kicked off Patreon or whatever? I'll make some calls. Last night, several passengers aboard a United flight from Chicago to Louisville captured video that looks exactly like a man boarding a Spirit Airlines flight if you play it in reverse.

For the love of God, no! 600 retweets this morning. One of which was from Spirit Airlines. Yeah, they're just happy for the publicity. Hey, all press is good press. I just love that that becomes their commercial. Just Spirit Airlines. Yeah, they're just happy for the publicity. Hey, all press is good press. I just love that that becomes their commercial. Just Spirit Airlines. Look who came crawling back.

What now, motherfucker? Yeah, do something. Alt-right firebrand Richard Spencer has been glitter bombed after pro-tidy saying outside the White House the bombing is being held as the first foreign policy win of the Trump administration. Wait, what? Oh, so when, someone you know glitter bombing what is it it's where you throw just a bag of glitter at someone's head yeah or mail it to them yeah yeah you seem like you'd get glitter bombs i've never been glitter bomb jeff may it's my friend jeff may who's a comic on pops network all the time he is uh that's one of his pet peeves, is glitter bombs. Yeah.

To the point that he's figured out mail. Like if you try to send him a glitter bomb. Oh, he's got like an anthrax wiped down. Yeah, he's like, if it's not stamped in the corner with a certain thing, I know it's from a person, so I don't open it.

How often is he getting glitter bombed? I think it was happening pretty regularly. Well, he's the kind of guy that, in the listener's defense, would be hilarious to watch react to glitter. Because he's the kind of guy that In the listeners defense Would be hilarious to watch react to Glitter Because he's just a tough guy And it's not like we're going to tweet his address And make sure this happens to him a bunch

It definitely won't happen until you leave Anybody at a certain level of fitness Having Glitter introduced to their world They didn't ask for is just comedy gold That's true he's too tough for Glitter He's a tough for glitter. Yeah. He's a Hulk of a man. Just a Boston Lunk just covered in sparkles.

Boy, I really burned him just now, huh? Yeah. He's a Hulk of a man. Oh, yeah. You're so toxic, Adam. It's going to be my whole thing. With his dumb gay muscles or whatever. I bet he can lift a lot.

What a bitch. I bet he can hold me real tight when I'm upset. He's like strong but sensitive. Seems like he'd like help me move. This was a box of glitter. He absolutely did help me move. With no truck. He's carrying your couch.

Yeah. I think Jeff Mays just guessed on. When he said helped you move, I thought he meant he helped you into the shower and got you your bathing rag at the end of your hygiene stick. Like the big buff guy who carries the old guy in a clockwork orange? Yes, exactly. Carry on. All right. Astronomers say that on April 11th, a phenomenon will occur called a, quote, pink moon.

No word on if the pink moon is related to the newly built Susan G. Komen Lunar Laser Base. I just like the idea that there's a breast cancer laser base. Look, they're not all going to be winners. It was so specific. I thought for sure it was going to be a joke about me taking a shit in the woods. Amazingly, no. You're up. Oh, okay.

Deafening silence where the joy should go. A player for the NHL's Carolina Hurricanes who was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis scored the winning goal in his last game with the team before retiring. And no one cares because hockey still fucking sucks. That is the perfect Mean Boys joke. A little bit of tragedy, a little bit of overcoming the odds, and a little bit of fuck it. Presented very officially is the main part. It has to sound like the evening news that hasn't existed for 30 decades and then turn into a song about AIDS.

Speaking of which, the governor of Alabama has resigned in the wake of a sexting scandal with one of his aides. In another stunning revelation, people in Alabama have cell phones now. Yeah, the way they caught him was that... I assume an Alabama cell phone is just tapping Morse code into a pine cone. An Alabama cell phone, I think, is when someone puts a circuit board in a possum's butt before they come in its mouth.

I don't know. That was like one of those things we did with the episode with Jay. No, what happened was his text messages were synced to his iPad and his wife was like using his iPad. And it's just like old guys. You got it. Don't you got the tech hubris about the technology, you know, pack it in. Just wait.

That's how Jude Law got caught. He wasn't even fucking old yet. Who? Jude Law. Oh, same thing. He was like fucking his nanny or something. Yeah, you're not allowed to fuck your nanny if you're Jude Law Yeah, well, yeah, but his wife

I don't know if he was like uploading pictures of them fucking I don't remember the exact details Maybe none of them, maybe it was a fucking movie But even if your wife comes out, you're like, shut up, I'm Jude Law Yeah, yeah You would think that would work Wait, so you just think he's above the Jude Law? Wow

Fucking Bood Law A little rude law Oh, good law Alright Jude Law. Wow. Fucking Boo-Dlaw. A little rude law. Oh, good law. All right. Sean Spicer says the U.S. will continue

to attack Syria at their own discretion. For more on repetitive daily bombing that's not good for anybody involved, check out the Unpops Network. Oh,

I thought it was going to be come see Conor McSpadden in a city near you. No, it was originally and then I remember there was another person on the show. Oh, man. You boys are mean.

That's a new drop. A triple murder suspect died today after he threw himself over a fourth floor railing inside an Ohio courthouse. The corrections officer who was escorting him at the time described the man's actions as a cowardly ploy to escape justice and the coolest thing he's ever seen happen in real life. He was then quoted as saying, he was like, whoa. Dude. And then I was like, what? Dude. And then I was like, quote, bro. That is fucking,

what a great way to do it, though. Yeah. Like, I should add that he murdered a couple kids, so we shouldn't celebrate him too hard. I mean, that's one of those things where if you got people reacting on the news and someone could auto-tune the shit out of that, you know, like, gnar! Yeah, I just love the idea

that you're just like, suck a dick! I'm out! How funny would it have been if he didn't die? Just landed on the fourth floor because he was fat as fuck. Oh, he goes to prison

as the guy in the wheelchair who killed the kids? I mean, he's going to die at that point. Yeah, yeah. Like the guy in the apartment like, what are my neighbors doing? Oh my God.

In the Texas state legislature, there is a masturbation bill on the floor, which would fine men for ejaculating by manual stimulation. I don't know who this masturbation bill guy is, but he sounds like a jerk. The show needs a masturbation bill, doll. Oh, my God. That's the worst episode of Schoolhouse Rock ever. We need about a hundred times the listening audience to justify an order of novelty plushies based off of one line of podcast dialogue. And yet we'll probably do it. Probably.

We sold 12 t-shirts one time. Yeah, we started a podcast network and then immediately didn't do anything with it. Yeah, also it was 10 t-shirts. You bought one of them. I did. I couldn't afford the other one. It's a good shirt. I want a shirt.

You still got them? No, it was like a limited run, but we're going to make more soon. You motherfuckers. Yeah, cheap pieces of shit. All right, at least we have shirts. Maybe you have shirts. I don't know. Tons.

All right. We got shirts for days, son. All right, fine. Our torsos are hella clad. Yeah, at least we don't have to buy ours from the custom Subaru car-covered fucking website. I mean, ours seems strong. I feel like I'm more on Adam's team on this one. Probably got the wrong tree, my friend.

And we are sitting at the bottom of that tree eating honey with our fists. A shooter opened fire at an elementary school in San Bernardino, killing two teachers. Two children were wounded by stray bullets, while the other 500 kids were mostly just stoked to get a half day. That is probably the safest day in San Bernardino public school history.

Yeah, sure. Only two kids got hurt. Yeah. Who was... Didn't someone recently say school shootings are the new snow days? I don't remember who said that. If not, that should be a thing.

Yeah, let's just riff on their joke for 45 minutes. Yeah, I mean, I wish I'd thought of that. That's pretty... Yeah, it's a great joke. It's a California snow day. If this is your tweet, come get it. Maybe the person who wrote it will die in a school shooting, and we can just start telling it ourselves. That'd be so sick.

Yeah. But then we die in a school shooting, and it's like a haunted thing? Yeah. Oh, a haunted thing yeah oh a haunted haunted riff boo we're all haunting a school be all right yeah i'll be sick i mean adam don't act like you don't already hang out outside of yeah exactly all right look at your beanie you try and sell drugs to like the kids and the teachers it's like whoever man adam adam looks like he like he always kind of dresses like one of the guys at the docks that Batman beats up. Him and Tom Goss are just goons for hire. Yeah, yeah, precisely. I get that a lot.

Is it my turn? Yes. You're up. Baseball season started last week So make sure to catch your favorite team in action Five months from now when that bullshit actually matters I like that two of your jokes have boiled down to Sports are dumb

And I pay to watch baseball There's no integrity to my jokes I just shit on all the things I love Yeah, you get it Me neither. Holiday Inn. Victorville. Regularly performing there for the foreseeable future.

In Victorville? Yeah. The Holiday Inn in Victorville. You know that was rated the most dangerous city in the United States recently? Yeah. And do you know that they also give me $50? How much is it costing gas to get there? $60.

$60? You're paying more of a psychic tax. It doesn't really cost money so much as just the ability to feel. I'm like mortgaging joy. I mean for sure. They're expecting you to stockpile some for medical

expenses. Visiting Victorville. Visiting Victorville. That sounds like the worst Nick Cage movie in the late 90s. Sounds like an AMC show. Yeah. Oh, yeah. A Pepsi advertisement featuring Kendall Jenner breaking up a conflict between protesters and police with a soft drink has been pulled from the airways this week. Not all feedback has been so negative, however.

A juggalo inspired by the commercial stopped punch-a-boarding his unborn child to enjoy a can of Faygo. I said unaborn. Unaborn. Yeah, that's where you lost me when you said a word that's not real. I said a lot of bad things. You said punch-a-boarding, right? Yeah, punch-a-boarding. Is that like you were like, punch-a-boarding? I was like, what's punch-boarding and why are you saying it like Mario?

Punch-boarding is how you get fucked up at college parties these days. punch a board. Is that like you were like, punch a board. I was like, what's punch boarding and why are you saying it like Mario? Well, punch boarding is how you get fucked up at college parties these days. God, that fucking commercial like literally made me a Republican. Like, yeah.

I got done watching it and I'm like, oh, revolution is a lie. All right. Last one. Where's it? A man found a dead bat

in a bag of salad he purchased at a Walmart. A spokesman for the company expressed his shock saying, quote, it is unfathom purchased at a Walmart. A spokesman for the company expressed his shock, saying, quote, it is unfathomable that a Walmart shopper came that close to eating a vegetable. Last night, several passengers captured video of police officers forcibly removing a man from an overbooked flight. When reached for comment, a United Airlines spokesman said,

thank God those cops were black. Did you watch that video? Yeah. It's sort of weird because it obviously is bad, but also like, what the fuck is that dude doing? Well, yeah, I don't doubt that I would have put up a little bit of a protest. But apparently he was standing in the back of the plane yelling, just kill me.

And I'm like, I swear to God, that a thing that cnn like put out that that happened i'm like he's got another story going on yeah and you know right up until it happened half the people on that flight were like can't someone just drag this motherfucker off this plane oh man and then it happens and it looks like some nazi shit yeah and then the guy next one was like so i i get i i get double pretzels now you know when they're like okay one person has to get off the plane like anybody browner than me just kind of like slumped down into their seat oh yeah uh when i was the last time i took a flight like a week or two ago i was in the terminal and then someone came over the loudspeaker and just said and i swear to god uh yeah we're looking for the Brown family. Uh,

if anyone's seen the Brown family, we need them to report to the front desk immediately. That's the Brown family. I was like, Oh no. TSA is looking for the Brown family. Uh, all right.

Finally, take it home. Donald Trump has just played his 16th round of golf since taking office. The president said in his defense he needs to take Kellyanne Conway out to run around or she'll stay up barking all night. Oh, my God. Fuck that lady to death. Yeah.

Have you seen the picture of her just, like, standing on the couch with all the black people in the Oval Office? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did a joke about it, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was pretty awful. There's a video of her doing stand-up, apparently. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did a joke about it, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was pretty awful. There's a video of her doing stand-up, apparently. Oh, God.

From way back. I haven't had the heart to watch it. We should probably do a Hell's Box scene on it. Yeah, that's 100% going in the incoming shit pile. Yeah, fuck that noise. They'll all be doing stand-up someday. Yeah, they're going to go on that weird We Used to Be Famous tour,

where you see wrestlers and shit. Oh, Kellyanne Conway's Postcards from the Edge live tour at the Brea Improv. Oh, yeah. Ben Carson is going to be opening for Steve-O fucking six months from now. I was going down a rabbit hole looking up presidential candidates'

Secret Service nicknames, and Ben Carson's was Eli. What? That's just a dude's name. Yeah, it's just odd. What the fuck? Some fun ones. Newt Gingrich was T-Rex.

Oh, that's pretty great yeah it's yeah bernie sanders was intrepid uh do you want to take a guess what trump says uh faggot good guess big dumb faggot uh uh orange oh um uh what's the douchiest thing does he get to pick it or somebody else i think someone else gets to pick it because they did a question on one of the republican debates like what would you pick for your code name and Rand Paul said fucking Justice never sleeps and I was like shut the fuck up Rand Paul yeah yeah yeah

too long of a name like a fucking emo band I'm gonna say Rogue it's Mogul it's pretty good fuck the Secret Service Obama's is Renegade and his wife is Renaissance so it's pretty cool. Yeah, those are both

pretty great. Yeah, yeah. Hillary Clinton's Evergreen. Also terrifying, though. Evergreen. I don't like that Obama was Renegade. What the fuck did they know?

Like, what was... I think it was Obama doing behind the scenes. It was just the closest they could slip in. Jesus! It was the only way they could slip Nick in there.

Like, it was... I have a conspiracy theory I just developed about Obama. I think he passed healthcare and he's like, all right, I better play it cool or they could slip Nick in there. I have a conspiracy theory I just developed about Obama. I think he passed health care, and he's like, all right, I better play it cool or they're going to shoot me. I saw how this whole Kennedy thing worked out. I'm just going to lay low and let the Supreme Court deal with gay people. Yeah, that's a you problem now. Throw out some drones.

That'll get them off the trail. Indeed. All right, the Mean Bills will be right back. Dear Diarrhea, it's me the doggo monster iconic character of mean boys podcast fame life in el cordero is tougher than i thought cordero is spanish for lamb whatever i've been forced to travel by hitchhiking and i've had to bend those a handle handle outside Tamal for money. I tried turning to God, but even my al pastor could offer me no comfortia. So I ask of you, Mean Boys podcast listening Tostadians, go to Don Carlos' taco shop in La Jolla, California burrito and keep hope alive.

I might not be able to get there myself after being placed on the no-fly list for some Dulce de Lecherous behavior. I know it sounds torta sketchy, but I've refried being to jail and I'm not fucking refried going back. Anyway, I'm rambling. Pinata yada yada. Don Carlos serves every major meat to most major ethnicities. They even have vegan options, like the new mushroom tofu burrito or suicide. And their delivery is faster than Connor McSpadden's when he starts bombing. And unlike Keith Carey, they cater to more than just elitist sexual deviants on the coast.

Okay, it's time for me to go. Pico goodbye-o! And the Mean Boys podcast returns with a round of one of our favorite games, folks. Let's play Is This Domain Name Taken? Is this bacon? Fat guts shaken. Now it's time for Is This Domain Taken? All right.

If you don't know, the rules of the game are the name of the game. Let's begin. Trump2020.ru. That is russian suffix for domains is trump 2020.ru taken yeah oh are we do we have to go in yeah yeah no you can just no it's pretty loose we're just i say yeah i say it's taken yeah i feel like if it's taken it's taken by like some asshole you know what i mean it's not an official thing it's taken, it's taken by some asshole. You know what I mean? It's not an official thing. It's somebody who thinks that's hilarious. Some guy like me that thought of this and decided to look it up on GoDaddy.

Yeah, but who was also not funny enough to sustain what a good domain name that is. Yeah. I'm going to say it's not taken. Trump2020.ru is taken. Moving on. I assume it's just the Russian government. Yeah, it's true. I don't think it's an asshole at all.

It's just... Trump 2020. We're not even pretending anymore. Yeah. Let me do a quick... That's not a good Russian accent. Let me do a quick... No, that's terrible.

I said it like a poo. Yeah, I just checked who is. It is Gladimir Futon. Futon. Futon. I sleep on a Gladimir Futon. Glad G-L-A-A-D. Yo, you kind of gay.

Yeah, gay enough. All right, fancyspatulas.com. I'm the futon of sexuality. Sometimes I'm a couch, sometimes I blow dudes. Either way, it's not comfortable. There's a lot of stains. All right, fancyspatulas.com. What is it?

Fancyspulas dot com God damn it It better not be Fancy spatulas It's fucking No way Is that real? No

Fancy spat Spat spat Rat Fancy spat Fancy spat Wicked... Fancy spats... Spat spats? Your thing didn't...

Your iTunes are working fine. Connor just broke. Spitty splats. Fancy splats. Not taking. Connor McFancy spatulas. All right. Let's move on from that embarrassing verbal blunder.

Tarantula.xxx. Absolutely taken. Can I ask a follow-up question? Yes. Are the tarantula.xxx absolutely take it can I ask a follow up question yes are the tarantulas fancy don't blow the last question alright fancy tarantulas

fancy tarantula would be either your drag name or my rap name was it bougie spider tarantula triple x yeah tarantula.xxx oh tarantula.xxx What is it? Bougie spider? Tarantula XXX?

Yeah, tarantula.xxx. Oh, tarantula.xxx. Yes. I don't know why, but I feel like... It's a guy with eight dicks. Eight furry dicks. Well, yeah. And it's weird because they're all... You've got enough testosterone to grow eight dicks.

They shatter if you drop them on the floor. Wait, is that a thing? Yeah, that happens to a tarantula. If you drop a tarantula, they break? Yeah, they fucking break. Oh, dude, tarantulas are gay as fuck. We kill all the tarantulas super easily. Yeah, just flick it.

No, my only weakness existing. God, what a dumb way to die for something so scary. Oh, yeah, if you broke your leg, you better be a professional skier, not a fucking tarantula. Yeah, you little bitch. I want tarantula.xxx to be like some weird Lucha Libre porn for some reason. I'm going to say that's taken. I think it's

taken. Tarantula.xxx available for the low price of $99. Moving on. That's not a bad, really? Yeah. I don't know..xxx's are always kind of expensive. Yeah Moving on. That's not a bad... Really? Yeah. I don't know.

Dot XXXs are always kind of expensive. Yeah, sure. We've gone into some prices on some weird domains on this. That's going to be the final question.

Because it feels like new ground you could break if it's not taken. Yeah, I mean, not good ground. Yeah, but you don't have to fuck the If he's got eight dicks,

I hope they're all dicks from different animals. Like he's got a people dick and then a red rocket and whatever a dolphin dick looks like. Like that show Ben 10, but with fucking people. Oh, no. Ben 69. That's for sure appearing in the future.

Which are the following? HinduMingle.com. Fuck's sake. Hindus got to mingle, guys. The question is, do they have a website devoted to mingling Hindus? I say absolutely. Hindu mingle. They do some fucking.

Well, yeah, there's 9 billion of them or whatever. Yeah. You don't get there by not mingling. Yeah, and they got one of those gods that has those bent 10 Dick arms I have become Girth destroyer of all It's called

HeForShiva.com Oh god where's Craigslist Fucking rabbit hole I'm gonna say it's taken HinduMingle.com is taken. But what about ass.church? It's always every time it's ass.butt or some bullshit. Yeah, it's a tradition.

There's always really good ones, and there's boner.com. I'm sorry. I didn't hear a guess. Ass.church. Thought? I'm sorry, I didn't hear a guess. Ask.church. Thoughts? It could also just be a church with no self-awareness that initials are ASS. Can a website end with.church? Yeah, there's all kinds of new extensions.

You could end with.anything. Almost, yeah. There's like. Well, you'll see. Well, then, yeah. That's one of the first things I would snatch up once dot church domains came available. Just all the swears? Yeah.

I want ass church. I want fuck church. I want booby church. Pictures of asses. Just a monument to ass. Ass dot church. Yo, you ever seen a stained glass window twerk before? You ain't never been on Ask.Church?

Yet another church that black people make more fun. I'm gonna say it's not taken. Ask.Church is not taken. I don't know why I started coughing like I was dying. You're captured by the Holy Spirit.

The ass Holy Spirit. I think that's a fart. I mean, it's the Holy Ghost. Got the Holy Ghost. Yeah. Someone was eating some kind of food that makes you fart. You get the riff. TheBestEyepatch.com.

TheBestEyepatch? TheBestEyepatch.com? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, Keith. Is there a worst eye patch? I feel like all eye patches are created relatively equal. I mean, not if the folks over at TheBestEyePatch.com have anything to say about it. I went through a real serious phase after high school, like 20 to 22, where I genuinely considered just buying an eye patch and wearing it, even though I didn't need it.

Oh, yeah. Like a hipster cane? Yeah, just to seem mysterious. And if people ask why, I'd be like, I don't want to talk about it. You're going to be a tough guy. I had a stye in my eye when I worked at Old Navy from getting cardboard in my eye all the time.

And yeah, I had to wear an eye patch. And I got this horrifying, like my eye swole shut, Keith remembers, about October 26th. So just Halloween season, and I just walk in like, oh, I like your costume. I'm just like, hey. Just like lifting it up.

Happy Halloween, casual pirate. Yeah, just scaring kids and whatnot. Fucking Captain Khaki beard. Yeah, slick Mick. Yeah, that's what I've always thought of when I think of eye patches is Slick Rick. So anytime I think about an injury where I would lose one eye, I feel like even in real life I'd come out of it like, at least I get to wear an eye patch now. And to bring it back around, I feel like Slick Rick definitely has the best eye patch.

Oh, yeah. His have rhinestones and shit. Yeah. So maybe this is where he gets those. I'm going to say it's taken. Taken. It is taken. Although I think if I was going to get physically disfigured in one way, it would be eyepatch.

Like, you don't want peg leg. You don't want hook hand. Yeah. You're going to lose a thing. I think the eye is the way to go. Because imagine being an eyepatch comedian. Yeah. You know?

Like, yeah. You know, you'd have your big clothes. You'd be like, yeah, you know what a pussy looks like at eight in the morning? Dangerously cheesy. Yeah. You know, you'd have your big clothes. You'd be like, yeah, you know what a pussy looks like at 8 in the morning? Just lift it up. Dangerously cheesy. I'm always like, oh, I could be such a great road hack if I... All right, guys. ToxicConnor.com.

Is it taken? ToxicConnor.com. I feel like you probably took it this morning. That would have been fun. I don't have $7.99, Adam. You flatter me. ToxicConner.com I'm trying to think what else Toxic Connor could be.

I could buy him as a third-rate backyard wrestler who has a pretty decent social media prez. We've got too much of a social media prez. Am I right, guys? You've got to kill yourself. I'm going to say not taken.

Yeah, not taken. It's not taken. I also made this in the car. I love watching you lose faith in the segments. No, I'm just... Look, I've done better. Everyone knows it. I didn't even make a PowerPoint. Usually I have a PowerPoint template. This is just on my

phone. I didn't exactly roll out the red carpet for Mr. Todd Brown. Do you really make a PowerPoint template? I just have it. It's just easier. That's stupid. It is pretty dumb.

You know what? I'm teaming up with Adam. We're taking over this show. Yeah, it's just easier. That's stupid. It is pretty dumb. Well, hey. Yeah, you know what? Now that I think about it... I'm teaming up with Adam. We're taking over this show. Now that I think about it, it feels unnecessary. Because I did this, and I was like, this saved me probably a cumulative 15 minutes. Yeah, and it's the same exact results.

Yeah. All right, well, moving on. Rappaccessories.com. Rappaccessories? Yeah. It's totally taken. I think it's taken, but only... You, when you spell a website wrong by one letter, it'll redirect to some other bullshit.

Uh-huh. This is trying to get overflow traffic from people who type rapeaccessories too fast. It was like, yeah, you're not getting when you're... Well, I guess it's probably the same stuff. Oh, God. Bandanas. I'm going to say taken. It is not taken. Wow.

Yeah. No, there's no fucking... NoRapAccessories.com. Where are you going to get your towel for your fat or black friend to hold? Where are you going to get your Slick Rick eye patches? I mean, I don't have best eye patch money. HipHopLlessons.com. Oh, I thought you were giving me an answer to my question.

Oh, no, no. Hiphoplessons.com. Not only is that probably real, it's probably owned by some idiot we know. And I think me and you were thinking of the same person who probably owns it. A hundred percent, yes. Yeah, I think it's taken. Yeah, I'm going to say it's taken by that person. Hiphoplessons.com, not taken.

Oh. Where are people going to learn hip hop? Who's that person? I don't know. Maybe they'll take it. Not relevant enough to reference. Yeah, we don't need to. Okay, this has gone on far too long.

Let's close it out. How much is this domain name worth? Fart.lawyer. This summer on NBC I'll give you a hint I'm considering buying it Just so I can Because my name is hard to spell

So whenever people ask me Okay No ask me my website And I always have like It's C-O-N-N-O-R-M-C-S-P-A-D-D-E-N.com If I could just say Fart.Lawyer Your name is not hard to spell

It's spelled exactly how it sounds Oh I know But people are dumb And everyone knows How to spell farts And spelled exactly how it sounds. Oh, I know, but people are dumb. Everyone knows how to spell farts, and most of the people that like my comedy probably needed a lawyer at some point. And frankly, Queef Attorney felt like it was muddying the waters. That was one of them from an earlier game, Cat.Eternity.

But Cat.Eternity, how much is fart.lawyer worth? Fart.lawyer. Okay. You said you but cat.attorney, how much is fart.lawyer worth? Fart.lawyer. Okay. You said you were thinking about buying it, so it's got to be low. Yeah. I'm going to say $14.99. $4.99. It's $19.99, guys.

Boom! Wow. Yep, Keith wins. Let's get it. Fart.lawyer. Yeah, fart.lawyers. Yeah, you should get fart.lawyer for winning that. Yeah. Let's get it. Fart.Lawyer. Yeah. Fart.Lawyers. Yeah. You should get Fart.Lawyer for winning that. Yeah. Let's buy it out from underneath. You know what? Someday when this is over.

We often fantasize. You know, one day when we actually have a podcast, we'll give these domain names away. Let's buy Fart.Lawyer and then just turn it into notConnorMcSpadden.com. It's like your one-stop shop on the internet for things that aren't Connor. We've got lots of eye contact and friends. Just the Mean Boys artwork but with you just like cut out.

Just me hugging a big black air. Oh, well, that's the thing. Goodbye. Recently, a passenger was violently ejected from a united airlines flight this is his story uh ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking we want to thank you for flying united just an update this is flight 3412 from boston to orlando non-stop service we should land at approximately 325 in the afternoon as a courtesy of the other passengers please put all personal

belongings in the overhead compartments. We are expecting a pretty full flight today. You excited to go to Disney World, little Pete? I sure am, Uncle Marky. I'm gonna pet the ponies on the merry-go-round. Ha ha, sure you are, you goofy little ding-dong. I tell you, after the fucking year we've been having, it's gonna be good to get away for

a while. Ain't nobody happier than a retard at Disney World. Everything's made out of rubber and you can get all squeezy on that Minnie Mouse skank and they can't say nothing on account of your eyes being too far apart. And as for Uncle Mark, I'm gonna be nuts deep in some single mom tang. You and the kids can go fuck off in the Haunted Mansion while I take that

crazy broad on a ride of Pirates of the Chlamydia. It's gonna be magical as fuck, kid, I'm telling you. Now be a good little helper, monkey, and grab me a beer, will ya? Excuse me, sir? Uh, what's up? Nice ascot, Nancy. Uh, sir, we've noticed that you've got a cooler in the overhead compartment. Fucking A-right I do. I'm not paying $13 for a fucking thimble full of whiskey from the bar cart. Mark Malloy comes prepared.

Sir, a cooler is not an acceptable carry-on. Yeah, the man is not an acceptable stewardess, but you didn't let that stop you from swishing it up in the skies. We're both fucking heroes. Grab a beer, kid. You ain't driving. Uh, sir, I have to ask you to please watch your language. Uncle Maki, why is the fancy man mad at you? You're both dangerously intoxicated. Oh, no, no, no.

Little Pete don't drink. He just sounds dumb because his brain's all wackadoo. Just leave him be. He'll start drooling and thinking about trains and whatever makes that broken clock tick. Ah, poor fucking kid. It's not his fault, though. His mom was a crack whore. And I don't even think he has a father.

Seriously, I think she just shotgunned to Mickey's with a cigarette butt floating in it right up into a vagina and then he just came stumble-bumbling out. Well, even if he does have special needs, I still... Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck do you mean special needs? He doesn't need nothing. He's fucking retarded.

I, on the other hand, got a special need for a bag of pretzels and for you to fuck off. Oh, folks, I apologize, but we've just been informed that we're overbooked. Unfortunately, we'll have to select one passenger at random to wait for the next flight. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the aircraft. We're not going to Disney World? Ah, great. Now you got them leaking all over the seats Ah shit give me your keys Hey Pete look

Look at the keys They're really shiny Yeah there you go Just fucking chew on those for a minute Look here's the deal I'm not getting off this fucking plane This little spastic's gonna go all Hulk smash On the inside of my Miata again

And I just got the windows replaced From the last time when we found out the fucking petting zoo was closed. Look, what about that fat fuck over there? He's flying alone, he's in the middle seat. What kind of monster takes the middle seat, knowing they're gonna be leaking over the armrests like a fucking busted tube of cookie dough? Sir, that's not going to happen.

Oh, shit, wait, look. 14C, we got a turban. Nobody's gonna blame you. Sure, you might get some dirty looks, but they're not gonna tell you to bring him back on. I need an air marshal now! Alright, let got a turban. Nobody's gonna blame you. Sure, you might get some dirty looks, but they're not gonna tell you to bring them back on. I need an air marshal now. All right, all right, all right. Let's make a deal. How about we go in the bathroom, go tongue deep on your fart box, and we forget this whole thing ever happened.

I'm not gay. Not with that attitude, you ain't. Teaser out! This happens every time we do stuff, Uncle Mark. It sure does, Little Pete. You're not very smart, are you, Uncle Marky? Ah, fuck you, Rain Man. Come on, very smart, are you, Uncle Marky? Ah, fuck you,

Rain Man. Come on, we'll go steal you something nice from the duty free. Yay! Toblerone! Sha-na-na-na-na-na

mean, mean. Ladies and gentlemen, the Mean Boys podcast returns. It is time to close with the show as we always do

with a round of our favorite game, which of the following? Woo! following favorite segment of this podcast someone's gotta like it because it's the last one and you're get to go home soon uh this uh this one comes to us from uh a bleeding god one of our favorite listeners uh this is the demographic where you're dealing with. A bleeding god. Yeah, that's one of our most loyal fans. Yeah, right up there with Death to

the Filth. Yeah, and Fetus Christ. Yeah. These are all real. And that one guy with the picture of the Joker as his avatar who tweeted a bunch of rape stuff at us for a while. By the way, we've recently found out Mean Boys is popular with some German alt-right websites. So if you're, by the way, we've recently found out Mean Boys is popular with some German alt-right websites.

So if you're in that German alt-right movement that enjoys Mean Boys, fucking kill yourself. Yes, kill yourself. We don't want you. Yeah, no, we don't. Like, for sure, keep downloading the show, but don't listen to it. Yeah, I didn't say, like, sign over your iTunes account.

I said, end your life. Yeah. And then go just go let's just play keith's album on your laptop on pandora until they find you so he can make another you know buck 50 yeah make me whatever fucking nonsense currency you use yeah i don't know you guys have fucking ruples you dumb nazis anyway fucking loose gold fillings i assume is what how do you buy a sandwich in Germany with a stolen painting? You just frown at salami until it surrenders to you Anyway

This round is all old-timey insults, gentlemen Okay So let's begin And we've got some definitions here as well So A, rattle cap Which is a violent, unstable person I really would rather be called the rattle cap of the Unpopular Opinion Podcast than the Toxic Avenger. But, I mean, you know.

Rattlecap is pretty great. Rattlecap sounds like a great name for somebody who's, like, addicted to prescription painkillers. By the way, Godfrey just keeps randomly liking my Instagram posts. Godfrey the mildly relevant black comedian? Yes. And I'm like what how did i get on godfrey's radar was godfrey ever the seven up guy or am i just a racist no yeah no you're right okay i thought he was but i couldn't tell if i was just thinking of orlando jones twice i remember

one one commercial and all i remember it from it is he's taking pictures of some kind of ugly broad and and he just goes, sexy, kinda. Stuck in my head forever. Well, to Godfrey, I say, Kevin Hart, kinda. Well, I don't believe in Godfrey. I don't know anything about him. Thanks for the love, man. I'm just trying to build.

That's what every dumb guy says about their social media. Let's build, dude. Nobody has's ever said that no they they have that's the good thing that dumb you know i don't talk to dumb people connor yeah just toxic people i i'm sorry am i not right here you heard those jokes i did earlier uh you heard fart dot lawyer i just I just bought that, by the way. Watching another podcast called Fart Lawyer. Where'd you get this nice picture of you in the suit with the stink lines? That was quick.

What app did you do that with? B, Allagang, a person who loves being miserable. These are all me. These are all things that describe me. C, Humgruffin, a repulsive woman. Again, that is kind of you. Yeah. Or enigma nog, someone who is silly or unserious.

Okay. Enigma nog. Oh, it's A space. It's not enigma nog, like a mysterious Christmas beverage. No. Yeah, I thought I had... Yeah, I was thinking Enigma. Yeah, so we've got Rattlecap, Allagang, Humgruffin, or Enigma Nog.

Oh, man. Humgruffin. That is the worst house to get sorted into in Hogwarts. The Humgruffins. I feel like Humgruffin is the best term to describe the sound of me snoring. Yeah, he passed out in the car. He's fucking Humgruffin is the best term to describe the sound of me snoring yeah he passed out in the car he's fucking hum gruffin real loud by the way check out the mean boys twitter feed for an outstanding picture of keith who fell asleep in the car and looked like rachel's playing piano and yeah i

didn't see that our friend pete carnaccio and photoshopped the keyboard in there here's the thing i know keith very specifically does not like to be photographed while sleeping and i was like this is a huge violation of trust, but it's so funny. I was mad for three seconds and then just so stoked. It's so funny. All right. You want to make your guesses,

gentlemen? I have my guess, but I'm gonna let you guess first. We're guessing which one's fake. Yeah. Yeah. Which one's fake? What was the woman?

The third one. Humgruffin. Humgruffin. I feel like Humgruffin is fake. I feel like Nignog is fake only because I know that Nignog is like an actual racial slur. And I feel like he's counting on that to be like super obscure. I didn't know Nignog was a racial slur. Okay.

What's it mean, Keith? I'll give you three guesses, but you only need one. It's obviously about Filipipinos is it really no it's about it's about nox oh okay well i i thought it was just like meant dummy but i no no no no no no no sir oh wow i've been fucking up if the letters nig are in the word just don't go near it yeah i mean i there's no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. I don't think I've ever said it, like, in a conversation, but I just... The N-word? Oh, mercy, yes, you have.

Oh. No, no, no, nignog. Nignog. Oh, no, and I'm saying the diet version? Goddamn. Okay. Well, it's fucking B, so shut up. Shut up. You're losing this guy. The game the other guy made. What was B again? B, so shut up. Shut up. You're losing this game the other guy made. What was B again?

B was Allagang. Oh, yeah. Oh. Allagang of Dave. That's a character on the show. Adam, don't let him bother you. All right. Round two.

A, Skurlian, which means a gossip. Okay. B, a cockalorum, which is a little Which means a gossip B. A cockalorum Which is a little man with a big ego I think he said cock lawyer At first He's the prosecutor Goes up against fart lawyer a lot

Alright well this new one is everything I'm all about A shabaroon A mean spirited person Why is that not the name of our podcast? Yeah shabaroons Or D That's the new name our podcast? Chabaroons. Or D. That's the new name for the listeners. Chabaroons. D. Lobcock. Stupid

and sluggish. Okay. What was A again? A was Skurlian. And B was Cockalorum. I want to say A. Skurlian. These are all great. I love all these

words. Scurlian sounds like how an old lady, what she calls a scallion. That seemed like it was going to be funnier when I thought it. Yeah, I'm saying A. Yeah, you... No, I'm kidding. A what? I'm not going to call you the... What, a nog-nag?

That's the... Enigma-nog. I don't know why you're being so What? A nog-nag? That's the... Enigma-nog. I don't know why you're being so... E-N-I-G-M-A-N-O-G. Like an Amos and Andy superhero? Your guess, Adam? I'm going to say A also. The fake one is C, Shabaroon. Oh, damn it the fake one is c shabaroon oh damn it this dude made up

shabaroon that's it you guys we called you pig children for for a year and a half you guys are all shabaroons now yeah i wanted shabaroon to be real i yeah but uh i'm real glad that cockalorum a little man with a big ego yeah i actually knew that one i i knew the last what's the last one lobcock yeah yeah i've heard that one before. Yeah, when I'm writing my extra lofty Vice article, I'm like, Donald, we have a cockalorum. Round three is all gay swears edition. Check out my Vice articles, by the way.

Oh, yeah. Wait, do you really write for Vice? Yeah, I have a couple articles okay yeah well yeah he's fucking he's got to go somewhere and vice is i like vice articles because it's just like how many filipinos can i beat up after i try this illegal energy drink so you read it yeah no i read one where this guy was like how I sold a $100 bill and went on a $10,000 vacation in Puerto Rico. And I'm like, what are you talking about?

I read one about clinical trials. That was pretty great. That was mad. I didn't get to first. That was a lab rat briefly for money. All right. C, All Gay Slurs Edition. A, Flitz.

B, Shirtlifter. C, Uranian. Or D, Bobby Lott Shirtlifter is so good Shirtlifter is just it makes homophobic Yeah, what the fuck would shirtlifter mean? I mean, I get it

I mean, that's what someone called Buddy Holly in high school Is a shirtlifter you'll never make it Take a long plane off a short tank of gas What was that plane he crashed with? The big nog bopper, right? Jesus

It's my favorite constellation The big nog bopper Oh, Jesus. It's my favorite constellation, the big nog popper. Did you know they didn't cancel that tour after Buddy Holly died? They just had some motherfucker stand in for Buddy Holly. Wait, but all three of them died. Yeah, they still kept the tour going. They just booked a different show. You can't call it the same tour. Ain't no Ticketmaster in 58, boy.

Yeah, I'm going to see the Stones. It's weird, though. It's just 311, but they're just calling it the Rolling Stones. Kind of like how we call those Mean Boys after... Anyway. Can you just run through them real quick one more time? I forgot them all. Flit, Shirtlifter, Uranian, and Bobby Lott.

Uranian is my guess. Yeah, Uranian. The fake one is D, Bobby Lott's. Wow. Uranian. I mean, I guess Uranus. No, yeah. I thought that was a little too...

A little too clever? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, moving on. Round four. Which of the following is not a real old-timey insult? A, snek draw, a devious liar.

B... Aren't the snek draws, a devious liar. B. Aren't the snek draws the bad guys from that movie, The Dark Crystal? Snollygusters, a self-interested man, especially a politician. Okay. C, you snollygostic cockaloo or whatever. All right. I have a good vocabulary, but it hasn't grown since I was 12. You know, I can't.

There's just like, eh, the room's full. You got to delete a bunch of porn since I was 12. You know, I can't. There's just like the room's full. You got to delete a bunch of porn or just like, you know, somebody like legitimately like angrily called you one of these names. Like, yeah, I was walking down the street and some asshole in a bow hat called me a cock apocalypse or whatever. Has that been on the list? Cock apocalypse? Well, he's not done reading. See, death's head on a mopstick, which is a miserable person. That is, I'm sorry, that is the most you that has ever been.

Death's head on a mopstick. Wow. That hurt. Like, fuck. Someone from the 30s just rang a bell. Wow. That's, yeah. Or D. Oh, my God. Fop-a-doo, which is an effeminate man.

Fop-a-doo. Fop-a-doo. Oh, that's the worst Pokemon ever. Since the Gen 2 came out and the Pokemon go, just nothing but Fop-a-doos in this neighborhood. Jesus Christ. What were A and B again? All right, so Snekt Draw and Snallygoster. Okay, Snallygoster.

And then it's Death's Head on a Mobstick and Fappadoodle Do. Snallygoster sounds like a fucking Willy Wonka invention. Yeah, Snallygoster is what kept the Grinch up too late. I am going to say... I'm going to say D, Fappadoo. Yeah, I'm also D, Fop-a-doo. Fake one is D, Fop-a-doo. We nailed it, finally.

Suck a dick, guy who made this game. Yeah, loyal listener who's coming to see me in Indiana soon. That'll show you we're caring. To make our lives worthwhile. Round number five, all real or all fake. Sneered run, a snob. Skimalist, all real or all fake. Sneered run, a snob. Skimalist, which is a moocher.

Leobor, one who's critical of others' work but does not help. D, Lorcan, someone who's overly superstitious. These all real or these all fake? These all sound like Ikea furniture.

Oh my god, my Lorcan. I've lost my Allen wrench and now my Lorcan is just a pile of sticks. The Snedron will catch fire if left plugged in for more than two hours. Oh, by the way, quick callback to a game we played. We played a game recently that was HP Lovecraft villain or Ikea furniture and one of the pieces of Ikea furniture is just called a faggot it's a bundle

of sticks and me and Tom guys went to Ikea recently we were bummed that they have renamed the bundle of sticks oh what's it called now the n-word I was I wanted to say

shirtlifter so bad I know I wish I would have remembered I'm gonna say all fake I say all real those are all fake I think he takes the game That's the following for this week

We're gonna open up the Mimosa mailbag And then everyone's favorite segment Fucking plugging their shitty shows In the middle of nowhere that you aren't coming to anyway Alright guys Ryan Colby asks Does Tom Goss ever do really creepy stuff then try to pretend it's normal,

or does he do that and actually know it's not creepy a lot? I don't know what you're saying. Tom is aware of what he is. Yeah, Tom is exactly what you think he is. Yeah, and he also knows he lives in a basement full of swords and whiskey, and he doesn't think there's a problem with it, but he understands that some people think

that there should be a problem with it. Yeah. Do you know Tom? No. Tom Goss is like, imagine Winnie the Pooh if he stayed up for seven weeks watching nothing but conspiracy theory videos. He's adorable and terrifying.

It sounds great. Would you guys ever consider doing another episode where you have Cal Clark as Rad back on and roast this as Rad like Ludiclaus? He was good. Yeah, of course. Cal's great. He's guys ever consider doing another episode where you have Cal Clark as Rad back on and roast This Is Rad like Ludaclaw's? He was good. Yeah, of course. Cal's great. He's one of my fucking favorites.

And sidebar, if you're a fan of the This Is Rad podcast and you listen to the Dungeons and Dragons episodes, stay tuned because a character from that might pop up in the Karnak universe in the very near future. Ooh. Whatever you do, do not ask what his favorite coat hanger is from Chet Wilde. Adam, Todd, Ron, would you care to elaborate? No. Okay. Tight. Now, we had a band called the Coat Hangers on our podcast.

They're an Atlanta punk band. And Chet Wilde was our co-host on that episode. And he literally asked, what is your favorite coat hanger? Good God. And he's never talking to famous people again. At all. The coat hangers aren't famous people. Well, not really.

Famous adjacent. They're more famous than me and they're one of my favorite bands. That's so embarrassing. It was super embarrassing. Your buddy's dorking out in front of the cool kids. He's trying to get the band Fastball to play in his living room. Oh, yeah. I see that just on my Twitter feed every day.

Has there been any Fastball response? Oh, yeah. I think it's going to happen. Oh, my God. Please invite us to that. Oh, yeah, we will. We will do a live broadcast from Chet's house. Yeah, we'll do a field piece. Yeah, someone tweeted at the coat hangers that question again after. And I tweeted back that I don't want Fastball at Chet's house. Yeah, someone tweeted at the coat hangers that question again after.

And I tweeted back that I don't want Fastball at Chet's to happen anymore. And he said, well, what if the coat hangers open? And I was like, Fastball's not headlining concerts in 2017. I think Fastball was able to headline Chet's house. Maybe. If there's house. Maybe. If there's no other bands. No headliners. It's a pay-to-play situation for sure.

Jesus Medina asks, I work as a line cook at Chili's, and I have always wanted to have a career in the entertainment business, but I have no balls to just do it. How can I change that, or should I just keep fapping to hentai? Jesus Medina is one of our most loyal listeners um what a what a real a slice of bummer you've carved out plated and individually served to us with a little whipped cream on top here's what i'm gonna say to you because i've had friends like this and i'm sure you guys have because like i think all three of us are like that weird alpha nerd where we hung out in like the group of like nerdy dudes but we were the ones who like gathered i gotta get out of here

and learned how to do shit yeah no absolutely yeah fucking throw all your button up dragon shirts and your self-pity on a bonfire fucking burn it and learn how to be a person with everybody else yeah because you can do it you're gonna be fine there's a great 4chan comic that i saw about getting your life together and there's one piece of advice it gives that i cannot recommend enough to nerdy shut-ins which is get a hobby that takes place outside. That's real good. Like, you have to play Warhammer 40K, you know, or whatever. Yeah. Get back into Yu-Gi-Oh! or what the...

You don't have to be cool, but just go be around people. Yeah. You gotta start doing the open mic version of being a human being. Download OkCupid and just make a run at it. Yeah. Trial and error. It's not gonna go great, but, you know. Just find something you enjoy. Yeah make a run at it. Trial and error. It's not going to go great.

Just find something you enjoy and fucking do it. It's not. But yeah, don't just fucking make appetizers and come to cartoons. I mean, the thing is, work at Chili's and jerk off to cartoons. That's fine. Just do other stuff, too. If you like jerking off to cartoons and working at Chili's. That's fine, but it sounds like you want something.

He says he wants to work in entertainment. I mean, the biggest thing is just do whatever it is you want to do. Yeah. Yeah. Do it before you quit your Chili's job. Yeah. No, no one is going to call you and say,

well, you've done nothing, but we want your, you know, your script or your comic book or your drawings of fucking tentacle dicks or whatever. So, yeah,

that's my advice. Although the mean boys email address is always open to tentacle dicks. whatever. So yeah, that's my advice. Although the Mean Boys email address is always open to tentacle dicks. Yeah. Tentacle.dicks is just taken. Disgraced producer of the show, Ramsey Badawi, has walked into the kitchen to fill his water bottle, and we would like to reinstate our Come On Ramsey challenge, where please print out a picture of Ramsey, come on it, tweet at us,

and that's the whole thing. We have more fans now. We might actually get this. Yeah, it's pretty great. We're going to print them all out and put them under your door ramsey who is shorter keith or adam um i think i'm shorter than you are you i might you're definitely fatter than me am i you know what it is i feel like you got that backwards forwards you're fatter widers though i feel like that's also wrong i got the hitchcock and you have like the penguin like it's okay am i wrong i don't know connor you're you're normally sized what do we look like down here uh bad what would be i like that we both know we can solve this easily by standing up but yeah we're too fucking lazy for that that's a lot of work stand up for

this goddamn podcast the mystery continues we may know. So the answer is shut up. Yeah. Ryan McCoy asked dick sizes. He also says have the man to your left verify. But I'm good. Yeah. All right. Wait, let me because I'll give you a range.

Yeah. I'm seven on a good day. Six and a half on average. I got a birth of about five and a half to like six and a half. Yeah, six, seven, something like that. Translation, we all have three inch dicks. Yeah. This is why I just tweet my dick at the president periodically.

I remember that. Oh, it's so much. It's also caused a bit of a personal turmoil for Keith when someone accused him of... Oh. Wait, what? There's a funny story that I'll tell you off the air. Yeah. Oops.

But it's also been a lot of... Yeah, I didn't say it. When I'm dating somebody... Tune in to the Unpopular Opinion podcast next week for my retelling of Keith's story. I'm going to give yourself eight hot egg avatar fucking retweets, buddy. All right. We got the Chili's cartoon porn demographic locked down. Ben Galvin asks, since Adam Todd Brown successfully stopped Trump, who will he take down next?

I feel like he's being facetious. Say what? I'm going to posit against the cartilage in his knees. USA Galvin likes to know who what would the Mean Boys mascot? What does that mean? What would the Mean Boys mascot? I'm assuming he means B. Oh, yeah.

Well, I like to think what product would have us as a mascot. What would the Mean Boys mascot be? Oh, gosh. I think, what's that? A boot stomping on a human face forever? No, how about a, I think we could be the mascot for Gun Oil, that gay lube. Oh, my God.

Dude, we should... That would be a great sponsorship deal. Yeah, yeah. Just like our iTunes picture, but just shirtless. Yeah. No, I was reading... Gun Oil.

We can fit that one in the other one. I think this folding table should be your mascot. Yeah. The kitchen full of spiders where we make a radio show. It's been getting progressively stickier. It's just so funny because I've been on the show, the fucking Unpopular Opinion, at that super nice office.

Oh, yeah. And then you come to ours and it's just awful. Yeah, there's mold around. This is a house that was owned by crack addicts before we had it, and we've somehow made it worse. What's Keith going to do when he finds out about Conor and Adam's dark secret? He knows. Wait, you guys have a dark secret?

I don't think. I think it's just that we were on an uncomfortable podcast. Oh, that wasn't a secret. Oh, no, that's not a secret. Yeah. Does that episode do better? Is it more listened to than other ones? Yeah, to some extent.

Okay. to than other ones um yeah to some extent okay because but it happened right when i left cracked so we lost some of the but it is like i i do like a cultural touchstone in the cracks like history of the oh yeah the unpopped history definitely do you get this is like people like ask you about it and shit yeah we we get people asking to have you back all the time. You should come back and do another podcast. Oh, absolutely. We want to come do Fightcast at some point. We should figure out what to fight about. Probably some dumb music you like.

Yeah, that's fair. I'll fight you on music. Yeah, that'd be great. Do we have any more questions? I think that's pretty much all the good ones. Alright, anything you'd like to plug, gents? When does this go up? Tomorrow. April 14th.

I'm at Mint on Card at Blast from the Past in Burbank. And at 1130 that night, I'm at the Darkest Hour at Westside Comedy Theater in Santa Monica. That is a great show. I'm on that show with you, actually.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right. And check out my podcasts, all of them, unpops.com slash shows. We have 14 different podcasts. Yeah, and if you guys like Mean Boys... It's fucking exhausting.

If you guys like Mean Boys, you're going to love Adam's shit. Adam's network is what we were trying and failed to do with the Bad Audio Network. Yeah. He actually did it in a very successful way.

The night this comes out, April 11th, I will be roast battling against Jamar Neighbors of our theme song fame at the Comedy Store. April 14th, I'll be on The Darkest Hour at the West Side Comedy Theater with Adam Todd Brown. He is an enigma. Jamar Neighbors.

April 15th, I will be at the Upright Citizens Brigade doing the Tournament of Nerds Best Of Edition. And April 20th through the 23rd, I will be in Seattle,pright Citizens Brigade doing the Tournament of Nerds Best Of Edition. And April 20th through the 23rd, I will be in Seattle, Washington, doing a bunch of shows. Check out my Facebook for more details on all of those. The night this drops, I'll be doing some stand-up in the belly room

before the roast battle, so come see me and Keith if you're in Los Angeles this Friday and Saturday. I'll be at Peachy Keen at Bar Lubitsch and Comedy Pop-Up at Club Baja right here. Bahia, Baja? The Baja Men. Club Baja Men.

I'll be letting the dogs out at the Comedy Flop someplace that's not that far from my crib. Word. Mean Boys Live Show. Who fucked the plug up? Who? Who? It's me. Mean Boys Live at Harvell's in Long Beach on April 18th.

Come to that. Please, please, please. Headlining the Madhouse in San Diego on April 20th. And then April 21st and the 22nd, I'll be at the Comedy Palace down in San Diego. Cool, man. Well, Adam, thanks for coming on, dude. Yeah, thank you for having me. This was fun.

Fuck everything. God is dead. Thank you.