Mean Boys - EP 6 - Thus Spake Crumblebottom

Episode Date: January 29, 2016

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week's segments include "Mexican Joke Off", "Emotional Dunk Tank", "Which of the Following", and a roast recap. Our sponsor this week is Pastor Dave's Camp for the Blubber Titted Forsaken. Email the show at [e-mail] and follow us on twitter @meanboyspodcast. Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-money-store/id515449028 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi everybody, welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast, I'm Joe Dosh. I'm Keith Carey. And I'm... Uh, if you put the Frosty the Snowman hat on a white pudding cup. Had to dig deep for that one. Scrambled for a second. You forgot it was coming and it brought something out of you.

I was shimmying and shaking on that one, but it turned out okay. Yeah, wow. That must have been some magic, that Mean Boy riff today. Must have been some magic in that tepid pudding cup left on the counter all day

at room temperature. Or am I just a snowman whether they put a tepid pudding cup on top of it melted down into his organs melted down frothy the pudding connor you have the body type of like a snowman in late april just yeah no i mean it's like it's thin but it's not good thin no it shouldn't neither of us are good thin not at all and no i mean i'm a whole different this is a testament to the irish testament the irish people i work out four times a week i still have zero muscle tone on my body yeah it just you said i look like the most physically fit and the weakest

person that i know yeah it's weird because i'll like look at myself like like it's a 50 50 where i'm like oh okay yeah all right and then'm like, dude, what disease do you clearly have? I have the same one. I have like just a doughy German body. It's meant to just collapse whenever it like reacts to a milligram of vitamin C. The sun! Melt.

What is this? All right, well, this has been a good, a little bit of a body shaming. It sure has. Do you guys think it's time to get into the Mexican joke-off? Oh, yes. Oh, shit dog. Ay, so topical.

All right, I'll start us off this week. BP has cut 7,000 jobs after reporting the worst annual loss in their history. CEO Immortan Joe said to the terminated employees, Mediocre! I'm not the only one with a Mad Max reference. That's great. February 1st marked the beginning of Black History Month. The black community is expected to begin celebrating sometime in mid-March.

You know, I like a good black history joke. A lot of them are crappy. I enjoyed that a lot. Yeah, that was so... You know what? This is the result of filming the podcast during the day. We're too positive. Out of the gate. No, of them are crappy. I enjoyed that a lot. Yeah, that was You know what? This is the result of filming the podcast during the day. We're too positive out of the gate. No, but this is great because I don't have to hurt.

Oh, dude. I didn't have a Keith's mother joke, but I'm just going to head it over Yahoo News and try to whip one up. About a cow on heroin or something. What atrocity happened in Chino today? In Toronto, Canada, four police officers were sentenced to prison for planting evidence on a suspect and obstructing justice. Also in Canada, hamburgers eat people.

Holy shit. Oh, God. An ISIS-run radio station has been destroyed by airstrikes this week. Citizens of the Islamic State are devastated they can no longer tune into K-72 Virgins the hate. What's the morning zoo crew for K-72 Virgins the hate? Oh, fucking Jihad and Scimitar? Ahmed and the bomb!

Oh, how is it not something and the bomb? Of course. Right there. Sweden is expected to deny asylum to over 80,000 refugees this year. When asked why, Prime Minister Stefan Löfven said, We be no be liking the dirty Muslims. Hergy, dergy, bork, bork, bork. I was so hoping

the Swedish chef reference was conky. Thank you for contributing nothing of value yourself, Sweden. Oh, my goodness.

An owner of a New York pizzeria is facing charges for trying to pay a 17-year-old employee for sex. An owner of a Chicago pizzeria remarked,

I would have made sure she was at least 19. Oh, that's amazing. You ever get tired of these pizza cunts and their dumb rivalry? I went to New York recently. Your pizza's terrible, New York. Calm down. It's all dreck and we will all die. I mean, it's fine.

It's fucking pizza. People that pretend to be able to tell the difference between certain things, like, they just need an outlet for that shitty part of their personality. Whether it's pizza or... They made up a skill. I would love to somehow take, like, the best pizza in LA, take it to New York, or have them do, like, the fucking Pepsi challenge, and when they say that they like

it, just watch them pull out a fucking ceremonial dagger and kill themselves. So tired of their false pizza honor. No, a ceremonial pizza cutter. And they have to commit seppuku with the fucking Papa John's slicer. Police have tasered a middle school cleaning lady after mistaking her for a burglar when she could not communicate with them in English. Social media was outraged over the discrimination shown towards Trayvon Martinez.

A Florida woman was found dead in a motel room accompanied by two capuchin monkeys. Authorities performed a rape kit on the body and an ape kit on the monkeys. It's the dumbest thing I've ever written. We've got to swab you for bananas. I'm sorry. The G fell off of grape ape. And the meanest popsicle ever. Grape ape?

These are all stupid. We're all stupid and dumb. Anyway. All right, sodomy chimp, what are you going to do? A study found millennials drink more wine than any other generation. Generation X drinks the most coffee, and Baby Boomers the most lifeblood of the earth. The Supreme Court of India reopened the debate on his ban of homosexuality. After a show of hands among the justices, the six-armed god Vishu has recondemned the curry-digging sodomites to an eternity of suffering.

The curry-digging sodomites. He eternity of suffering. The curry-digging sodomites. He gets more votes because he's got six arms. Good one. Several employees of a school for children with special needs in Massachusetts were arrested for abusing their students. The accused workers maintain their innocence, claiming the real culprits are throwing them under the short bus. All right, they're not all winners. The University of Kentucky is offering a class on the subject of tacos.

Professor Carey called the class the first act of his tenure. Fuck you to death. I can't believe we got this far in. I can't believe that you would even imply in joke form that Keith could hold the office of a professor sometimes. Just picture him with a fucking tweed jacket that's buttoned improperly.

Hello, the talker. It has to have patches on it, not for an aesthetic choice. Just for attention. Yeah, yeah. Nestle has admitted to using slave labor after an escaped worker went public saying Oompa Loompa everything hurts.

Oompa Loompa everything hurts. I buried my family in blood-soaked earth oh man all right five children's corpses were discovered in an abandoned... Joe started laughing at corpses. Damn it. I'm sorry. This is our podcast. It was just the fucking...

The Double Dare host-like delivery of five children's corpses. Five children's corpses were discovered in an abandoned freezer in an African village. Local citizens are calling the victims the luckiest boys in Africa. I thought you were going to go like a saving food for the winter reference. I worked on it for a while. It was the best I could do. A Georgia lawmaker expressed sympathy for the Ku Klux Klan, saying the KKK made people straighten up. He also expressed admiration for the Third Reich's Don't Be a Slouch Monster initiative.

You know, I heard on the radio, I was driving with my black friend, and the radio came on, like, you know, breaking news, the KKK has formally disbanded. And then, like, we're just kind of listening, not commenting on it. And then he just turned to me and was like, sorry it was pretty funny oh you do i think that was a pretty good mexican joke that might have been our best mexican joke that was we're recording this at 6 p.m and i got to tell you the positivity is disgusting it really is we're all we all just want each other to do well it's engendering we all put away our clit daggers and our fucking sodomy cactuses. And our whiz bonglers.

Well, they need a sharpening every now and then. It's in the shop. It's in the clit dagger shop. Well, we're going to do something a little bit different.

You can get those in Little Ethiopia by Fairfax. We're going to do something a little bit different for this podcast. Me and Joe had a roast battle at the Ride LA Comedy Festival.

Keith was there as the house hater. So we just wanted to play the audio from the battle for you guys and then share some B-sides, you know, some jokes that we wrote that didn't make the cut. So enjoy the audio of me and Joe battling at Ride LA. Joe, you're on. Congress said, let's go! What's your name, you fat move! Joe recently quit drinking. Now he just spits it out of his chest.

Connor was molested as a child. It's the only time a powerful person's chosen for something. Joe's just jealous because he wasn't with a man until his twenties and I was getting dicked when I was five. That's turning a minus into a positive. It's called HIV positive Connor you look like David Bowie In the 70's and your act stinks like David Bowie now Joe is a bottom When he tops you look like a blind person

Trying to plug in a USB cord Connor you look like a Tim Natara made out of high fructose corn syrup. Joe's been with so many older men, his prostate has an early bird special. Connor, you look like if Pete Holmes had a special needs cousin he took care of. Joe used to be fat. Now it's just harder to explain why he's ugly.

Connor had a show by the San Bernardino shooting, so he threw the worst office party that day. Joe's a drag queen. He makes a very convincing woman because he's not funny. In all honesty, Connor, I'm glad we finally did this battle. I've been bullying Connor for years, and like his molester, I wanted him to push back. Let's go! I was a last year. Joe's such an asshole, when he licksicks his lips it's considered a rim job. Great, now he's got an alibi. Connor, you look like a West Hollywood Voldemort. Thank you.

All right, how did you guys feel about the night? I thought it was great. I felt good. I think you won, Connor. I think deservedly so. Thank you. I thought your Tig Notaro made of high-fruits corn syrup was one of my favorite jokes. I actually texted that to Keith the day we were taking the photo for Mean Boys at Cantor's yeah when I lost my mind in the booth that I couldn't

hold it in I thought I will say I was talking to people about the battle beforehand and there you know there are a lot of good people fighting I said that I thought you guys were gonna be the fight of the night in my opinion I was correct well thank you thanks Keith well you know I gotta say one I liked that underperformed that I really enjoyed but maybe it was a little too esoteric, was you look like a West Hollywood Voldemort, which I really find accurate because you're cute but monstrous. Yeah. That's accurate.

Yeah. If I just had slightly less framing for my nostrils. Yeah. Okay. This one, I didn't make the cut. Joe's head is so big when he bottoms, he uses it as a kickstand. Why would you not do that? There's only so much time, Joe.

I had that. I had Joe's a pretentious gay vegetarian. I call him Harvey Almond Milk. I forgot about that one. Joe's so white trash he thought power bottom was a lottery. Joe's the only douche that's never been inside a vagina. Oh, shit. You never sent me that one, I don't think.

That's a good one. How does someone who swallowed so much protein still look so anemic? Joe, you look like if the Pep Boys gave colonoscopies. Joe's pro-gun and so were his parents when they found out he was gay. Oh, this one I like but would never work. Joe is one of those special people who looks like an abusive father and a battered child.

I like that. Yeah. Oh, this is one I like a lot. When Joe goes to leather bars, he looks like a Make-A-Wish kid dressed as Xena the Warrior Princess. Oh, you left some fucking gold in the cutting room floor, Connor. Joe's never gotten a DUI, but he usually blows over the legal limit of military enlistment. Anyway, that was a little roast recap for you guys.

I think it's time for a word from our sponsors, right, boys? I think so. Good morning, America. On this brisk day of 1945, here's the news on the go. The Mean Boys radio program is brought to you by asbestos insulation. Asbestos. Every home a baby's blanket. And by Weatherby Fireplace Bellows.

Tell all your fellows we've got the best bellows. In military news, the Dow Chemical Corporation announced that every American GI shall be issued a portion of Lysol should they encounter a frowline of the evening. That's right, doughboy. Remember the honor of your Rosie the Riveter back home and wash the bastards out that Hun's womb with a good douching of Lysol. Remember, it's not a sin if it's on the Berlin Wall. What a wonderful day for a ball game, America. Take the trolley down to Flatbush where it's bat day at beautiful Ebbets Field.

That's right, the Brooklyn Dodgers are offering a free baseball bat to any child who promises to use it to crack the skull of any striking union members. That's right, kids, sock a homer on the field, and sock Homer, the commie-sympathizing dog worker. He'll have lips as swollen as Jackie Robinson's when you've knocked him around, slugger. And news from Capitol Hill. Congress considers a bill to begin the ratification of statehood for Alaska and Hawaii. I don't know about you folks, but I'll be damned if I'm re-sewing my flag for those roosky-poking spam munchers. Keep your radio knobs affixed to the Mean Boys radio program.

You know there will be saucy bobs aplenty. You know what they say, the Mean Boys will be chummy the day Truman defeats Dewey. And we're back after that word from our sponsors. And it's time to get into the emotional dunk tank, fellas. Ooh. Great. Splashy, splash get into the emotional dunk tank, fellas. Ooh. Great. Splashy, splashy. I'm quivering with anticipation.

I'm quivering just because gravity makes my fat do that. That, that, that. Sweet. Keith, this is why you're not allowed to host. I didn't ask for this responsibility. Truly, the greatest form of bullying is when you can get your victim

to bully themselves, saying, like, yes, I'm going to torment you and break your spirit, but I'm not going to do the labor for it. You're going to have to foot the bill. This week in the emotional duck tank. No, no, no. You know what it is? Joe, Joe, Joe. What was that? It's like, you know that girl that got kidnapped and they

didn't even have her chained up? She just like stayed in the house because she was afraid to leave? That's what we've done with you on this podcast. You're the Elizabeth Smart of Mean Boys. Well, I prefer to think of of it you know like the jews at auschwitz that like were sort of like camp guards who worked under the ss to control the populace like keith is that to his own spirit yeah so to speak you're you're like the uh like the samuel jackson and jango of keith all we asked him to do was enter the segment yeah and he sure fucked it up his one job his one responsibility.

I just got to not, when I try to make fun riffs, look up, because then I see you looking at me, and it makes me sad. Hey, you got- This week in the goddamn motherfucking emotional dunk tank, you fucking queers. You're like a dog that can't even bring the slippers in. Oh, God, I'm leaving. You're like a dog who can't raise his head up too high. We're doing Kanye West in the dunk take this week.

Kanye West. Is that acceptable for everybody? I mean, sure. I mean, when we're done with you. Had about enough of this shit. Can we just call this the fucking Keith Chamber? We need to have a little countdown thing on each episode of when I snap and bring a gun to the basement.

Oh, yeah. What's the over under? I think is episode 12. Can you fit your fucking sausage fingers into the fucking. I have a wand. A firing wand.

Stick a pencil through the triggers. I have a facsimile of a healthy person's finger. You've attached a turret to your mobility scooter. It's like a fucking Sonic the Hedgehog villain. Dr. Robotnik.

You really are. Oh, my God. God damn. He's got grenades in the little basket. He throws them, and then you've got to dodge them. Then he gets tired for a second, and that's when you attack him. The Blood Rascal rises. Blood Rascal.

Oh, my God. The murder round. If Blood Rascal is not a geriatric metal band then I don't want to ever write Witch of the Following again

oh Christ alright well the sun's gone down and I think we're finally back in our old where cunts ever

is it Kanye West Kanye West like who cares at this point yeah Kanye West had a bit of Like, who cares at this point? Yeah, Kanye West had a bit of a fucking week on Twitter. Mercy.

Yeah, he got in a fight with... You probably understand this better than I do, because I don't understand these people and their music. Oh, black people, yeah. Yeah, that's the ones. Well, look, as the Negro liaison here on The Mean Boys... I washed my hands of that statement. Go ahead. I don't like how you guys are...

Connor, what's the... Okay, who's kidding who? We have no black friends, and we never will. We don't have black friends. He turned southern. What the fuck? No, we don't. Just because we don't have black friends doesn't mean we can't talk about the Jigaboo rappers.

Well, I tried to do... I mean, I started to do... We're going down a real dark road. I started to do a Freudian... I'll say, we're a lot of black people in this segment. I started to do a Floridian slip of we have no black friends, but then I corrected myself all too late. Did you say Floridian slip? Yeah, that was a Floridian slip, you southern goof.

Why can't I talk today or ever? I don't know, because your face is full of just fucking... Like, what is the material that is your cheeks? Because it's not skin, it's not fat. This is why I think I'm still fat, because my face is so puffy. I don't get it. I have fucking JFK face. JFK face.

Happy birthday, Mr. Dosh. Ew, gross. That was supposed to be sexy, and it was. Welcome back to the new segment on the show, Joe's Spank Bank. I just want you to fill me to the fucking brim. It's just, oh my goodness. Go on. It's my Spank Bank.

I forgot you fucking bisexual, you turd coat. I twisted it. Yeah, my Spank Bank is just a picture of Connor and then Keith crying somewhere where he can't be seen. That's also my spank peg. It's just enough to know that it's happening. Damn. We really showed Kanye. We sure did.

He had a fight with Wiz Khalifa about the album name. He changed the name of his album. Wiz basically was mad that he decided to call it Waves because there's other rappers that use the term wavy before that. And then he said, just hit this KK and chill referring to khalifa kush uh kind of marijuana uh kanye thought he was talking about kim kardashian and he went on this big tirade my favorite part about it was that it was like first of all second of all all the way up to like 17th of all yeah but here's a fun game i started playing uh read kanye west tweets as daniel plainview from there will be oh my dear i showed you respect as a man when I met you.

Don't ever come out the side of your neck at me, boy. You own waves, I own your child. That was outstanding. Can I, can I, can I? Oh, is there any more? That's the only ones I wrote down. Oh, fuck.

No one's ever listened to through and do the whole thing. No one's ever listened to your albums all the way through. Me and Connie invented this shit. Oh, that's fucking... Oh, my God. It is. Yeah, it's very silly. Well, this is what I love most about Kanye is because he'll spend a lifetime perfecting

his albums and then five seconds preparing for all of his public fucking everyone-is-looking-at-me-right-now statements. Like when he gave that speech to the VMAs, he didn't fucking think about that for a second. He had high and rambled about how great he was. Calling Kanye like Daniel Plainview is the best metaphor ever, because you would have to have a deaf son to live with him. I don't like Kanye's music.

Connor is staring daggers at me. Look, for those who don't know, Connor is a very big Kanye West fan. The biggest. And turned me on to it to a degree. I've tried. I did with Kanye what Keith is trying to do with bottoming. Oh, God, Keith.

Wait, what? He's trying to get me into it. Have you ever bottomed? You don't have to be into it. It's happening. Have you ever bottomed before? No. Okay.

Well, I tell you what, millions of Americans injured themselves while failing to stretch before exercising is all I'm going to say to you. You got to stretch

out your asshole so it doesn't hurt. Yeah, I understand. That's why I don't do it. I'm going to be real honest with you guys. I've put stuff in there. I'm not a fan.

Okay. I didn't prepare for this at all. But look what came out well speaking of stretching assholes actually that kind of brings up the next point of the kanye feud oh good where after fucking just raging on wiz khalifa what's that chick's name amber rose yeah came in and basically dropped the bombshell that she used to finger kanye's butt uh and look kanye denied it and honestly that which is the lamest thing in the world i

it made me like him so much more. I was like, dude, Kanye likes fingers in his butt. This guy's awesome. There's no way that's the gayest thing Kanye's ever... 808s is the gayest thing Kanye's ever done. If you can't get to that level of success without being able to just freely enjoy a finger in the butt, what's the point of all human endeavor?

What is there left to feel after you've had so many millions of dollars and won Grammys and been praised by your peers? The only feelings that are left are inside your butt. That's the only nerve endings that haven't been burned out. That's the final frontier. Remember when rap feuds were dangerous? Yeah.

Remember when it was like, oh, we got beef and now someone's going to die. Please pull up those tweets about Kanye with the Daniel Platt. I went to your Twitter. You were wearing cool pants. You were wearing cool pants. If I went to your Twitter, you were wearing cool pants. You were wearing cool pants. If I was tall like you, I could wear those pants. I can't wait for the next big rap for you when Drake sends a Muffet basket into Lil Wayne and

doesn't get a thank you note back. Well, that's what Meek Mill and Drake was. Drake was on Meek's album and he didn't tweet it. He didn't retweet it. About fucking Twitter, I don't think rappers should be able to get in rap wars that I could win like Yeah, you just if three cunts in a basement can be as formidable in your rap war. I yeah

Some shitty like YouTube rapper and start like a rap beef with guys I look I've long billed us as the Isis of podcasting We should just find other podcasts and just be like we're raising the black flag. What do you guys? Let's go here now as the ISIS of podcasting. We should just find other podcasts and just be like, we're raising the black flag. What are you guys going to do about it? Let's go to war now. All they'd have to do is just mention offhandedly that Keith is fat and we would just cannibalize ourselves.

That would be very easy to defeat us. Yeah, this whole fucking Sunni thing is really dicey, isn't it? Well, we've reached our ISIS cap for the night, I think. There is no cap. Yeah, if you have any podcasts you want us to start,

want us to annex, I feel like they're rightfully ours anyway I have some ideas that we'll discuss off air okay yeah

stay tuned alright well I think that was I think that's about it the emotional dunk tank everybody that was a good tangentially related

to our subject dunk tank yeah that was I really liked it yeah it was nice for the freeform jazz Keith hate association ah god fuck everything I really liked it. Yeah, it was nice for the free-form jazz Keith Haight Association. God, fuck everything.

Hi, I'm Pastor Dave Newquist of Hosmer, South Dakota. You know, there are a lot of threats out there to the youngest members of God's flock, and we all need to make sure that our children stay safe and cradled in their heavenly Father's arms. That's why I've started a new summer camp to combat one of the newest and most dangerous threats to our kids, childhood obesity. What these troubled and endangered kids need to know more than anything is that their being a little on the heavy side is a despicable sin that will stain their soul for eternity. That's right. You drop your kids off at Bethlehem Lutheran for Pastor

Dave's camp for the blubber-titted forsaken. Your child will be cleansed of his ungodly flabbiness through activities like the Gates of Heaven test. Your child will attempt to walk through a 12-inch wide cardboard doorframe while I scream at them that anyone who can't pass is damned to the flames of hell. And you won't be making s'mores on them, let me tell you. That's right. Within an hour, I'll have drilled into their psyche that their revolting girth has filled the void where God's love ought to be. We'll end every day at the church where the children will drop their pants in front of

the statue of Christ on the cross, where I'll scream at them again that God can see their disgusting thigh chafing and hates them for it. There's a lot of screaming. We like to rename things at Pastor Dave's camp. We call chocolate Satan's feces. As in, Billy sure ate a ton of Satan's feces and will continue to do so for eternity.

But don't worry too much. Our campers are strictly banned from desserts, junk food, and the Holy Communion. Those things are for skinny children, we tell them. So bring your child down to Bethlehem Lutheran for Pastor Dave's camp for the blubber-titted forsaken. Your fat child can win back the

love of God the Father, and maybe the respect of Father the Father. Everyone, all right, there is a mysterious musical trend coming out of Norway since there has been since the early 90s called black metal. They like burning churches, and they're totally into Satan. Today's Which of the Following is Which of the Following is not a real black metal musician. Into it. All right, you guys.

Here we go. Which of the following is not a real black metal musician? A. Jorin Odenshart-Finlan. B. Oinstein Euronymous Arseth. C. Per Ded Olin. D. Jorn Necrobutcher Stuberud. My stepdad used to drive a Stuberud. Poor Cedar got good mileage. Those are a whole situation.

I mean, the thing about Necrobutcher, is there any kind of, I guess in black metal there probably are people that butcher alive people, so I'm just asking my own question. I wouldn't dig too deep down this one. That's probably the most humane of the death metal butchers is the necro butcher wow you wait till they're dead what are you a fucking pussy yeah i don't know what you're on you wicked park pussy doesn't that seem like a joe bullshit word you're onimous um like the joe things that mattered in the 30s glossary you're onimous i'm sure that's just some kind of like outdated adjective for the kind of sex he has. Yeah, it's just a cunty reference from a book I haven't read but pretend like I have.

Dead seems so on the nose that I feel like it's a decoy. I'm going to guess B, Einstein, Euronymous, Arseth. I'll say A. The correct answer is A, Joran Odenshart, Finland. Connor is correct. Fun fact, Einstein, Euronymous, Arseth killed dead Olin and made his skull fragments into a necklace. Oh, I read about this. This was some shit back, you know, being a 12-year-old in the suburbs to be like, dude, there's this band. Bro, okay.

Can we have this kind of war with another podcast? It sounds awesome. I wish I was into this when I was in ninth grade. Because I just was going to Catholic school in South Dakota, but my bar of hardcore was so much lower, and I'm like, oh, this Rob Zombie guy, he's pretty out there. Dude, hot topic. That's like a Satan church.

Sure. Which of the following is not a real black metal musician? A, Infernus. B, King of Hell with of spelled with a V rather than F. C, Pest. Or D, Satanics with X. This is bringing back memories of MySpace Music. My friend James showed me this music page from these two 13- year olds that had a death metal duo and their

names were mortalis and flame and tegan and sarah yeah they were the tegan and sarah of skull fucking and so on their myspace page their blog they had like their myspace blog and one of the posts were just like celebrating 50 page views. Oh, no. And then a couple months later, months later, celebrating 100 page views. Thanks to everybody who made this possible. I've looked for them so many times. I think their mothers made them delete it when they had to get a job. It's like Mark Zuckerberg's first three minutes of his career.

I'm thinking... Fuck. The OV is such a good detail that I don't know if Joe could have thought of it. I don't know if this matters to it, but Satanics with an X makes it sound like an evil breakfast cereal. I think I'm going to say D, Satanics. I'm going to agree with Connor. You are both correct.

Damn, Joe. I'm two for two on this shit. The inspiration for Satanics was the band Rednecks with an X, the Swedish band who recorded Cotton-Eyed Joe. Wow. Fun behind-the-scenes trivia here. All right, everyone. Which of the following is not a real black metal musician?

A, Varg Vikernes. B, Jan Axel Hellhammer Blomborg. C, Kjetil Mannheim. or D, Johan Christgrave Olofsdottir. Christgrave! Zoinks! And I would have buried that deity if it weren't for you meddling kids. Oh, man.

I'm going to say... I think every devil-like hairdo is a Christ grave. I'm going to say C, Kajetel Mannheim. That's just something that happens to your body for fun. Oh, yeah. Kajeteling my Mannheim. Kajetel my Mannheim. Oh, shit.

I'm going to... B. The correct answer is D, Johan Christgrave. Damn it all! I kind of knew it, but I didn't want to believe. Yeah, I mean, it's so silly. I'm just disappointed it's not real. Yeah.

We could be Christgrave, you guys. We sure can. I mean mean these can become real which the following is not a real black metal musician a leaf abyss crock stod b morgan evil hackinson c count grishnack d scott malefic connor it's for sure count grishnack yeah

agreed oh that's those the correct answer is a leaf abyss crock stod It's for sure Count Grishnack. Yeah, agreed. Oh, that's those... The correct answer is A, Leaf Abyss Crocstack. Count Grishnack is very real. Count Grishnack? So is Scott Malefic Connor. He's from Tampa. Oh, no. Tampa death metal.

He is a 19-year-old. Fucking gators with an X. Yeah. Where? He records his albums. He's a 19-year-old. Fucking gators with an X. Where? He records his albums. He's a solo artist. He's 19 years old in the suburbs of Tampa, Florida. Oh, my God.

That's outstanding. The true heart of evil. Humidity. The dolphins suck. I looked into him a little more. His top single is called Beauty is Razor Deep. What? That ain't bad. Big ups to Malefic.

Alright, everyone. Can we... Here's the lazy part of this podcast. These people are all very gettable. Why are we not having a post-show phone interview with Scott Malefic Conner? So tell us about your new project. Fucking Cumming Blades.

I gotta go. I got a show in three months. Alright, here we go. All real or all fake? A. Dare Satan's Face B. Gerald Thorscock Crogdinson C. Bjorn Bard Battleborn

or D. Corpse Pernicus. Fuck. Oh my god. Oh fuck. I was not prepared for Corpse Pernicus. Corpse Pernicus. I just like he's got a telescope

pointed at his cemetery soon jerking it these these have to be all fake I can see Joe being pleased with himself writing every one of these

there's no way Corpse Burning is real so they gotta be all fake that is absolutely correct for that that's the problem when making The Witch of the Fall because you're tempted

to go so funny with the all fake. Yeah. What was the fake? I had a round of Breaking Bad fan fictions. Oh, God. And the final round of that, I was literally shitting myself trying to just say them out loud. Talk about something else. I'll pull it up.

No, no. I was going to say save those. We could still do that because it wasn't on a released episode. Well, and you could write a Witch of the Fall and be like, you know what? They're going to get this right away. But I'm not going to not write Corpse Pernicus. I'm not going to deny our fans that something awesome happens. Yeah, look, as with everything, it's just an excuse for us to fucking gallivant around.

Yeah. Fanciful country. Oh, I think we did it. Oh, yeah, dude. I have a new Mean Boys fan art request because I probably won't have time to learn enough Photoshop to do it. It's the Friends logo, but instead of saying Friends in between all the colorful dots, it says Cunts. Can we make that? I like that.

Can that be our shirt when we tell those? I would like that. I'm on it. I would also, I would very much like someone to create some Mean Boys yaoi, just as graphic as possible. Oh, more than anything in the world. That'd be so awesome. If we could get someone on this. I need to be being spit...

Joe and Keith have to have two cocks apiece. Just fucking spit roasting me in this basement. Draws ruining this sweet boy. I am all over this. And then Ramsey's just like got a squirt gun full of lube in the corner. Just texting and not paying attention. He's too dutiful. Yeah, Ramsey's uncomfortably professional it's like really

this is all clitoral mutilation and fucking childhood trauma jokes fucking grown up over here well hey i think that was a pretty fun episode of mean boys that was an outstanding episode mean boys i felt good about it so it'll probably turn out terrible because all the ones that felt terrible out are great uh real quick if you you're listening and you like the show, we've been getting a lot of nice compliments about the show, and it makes our day. We really appreciate it. If you have a second,

I'll only take a second to go to iTunes, leave us a review. That helps us. I just think it would be so great if a podcast about fucking some fat guy's mother, one-liners, was on the new and notable page. We could make this happen. Wouldn't that be great if there was just something?

If you could build an empire off my suffering, that would be great for all of us. Look, here's the thing. There's nowhere... Well, you're big enough to be the foundation. God, I'm getting fucked. Nowhere in the rule book does it say a dog can't play basketball, so leave those iTunes reviews.

That should be a Netflix category. Movies that say, with the line of dialogue, there's no rule that says animal can't play sports. All right, well, we'll see can't play sports. All right. Well we'll see you guys next week. Thank you. Bye.