Mean Boys - EP 63 - Undefined Carl (feat. Jeremiah Watkins & Pat Barker)

Episode Date: June 4, 2017

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, "The Mannes Film Festival", "Tweets About The Wave", “The Bone Zone Irrelevancy Con” and a game of “Which of the Following” with Snoop Dogg side projects by Pat Barker. Come see The Mean Boys Podcast live at Harvelle's in Long Beach June 6th at 8:30pm, use promo code "MEAN" at checkout: longbeach.harvelles.com/event.cfm?cart&id=262287 You can now leave us a voicemail at [phone] Watch the new “Now Is Not The Time” Video Clip: youtu.be/nQZ4DN08eQg We are proudly sponsored by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla California (eataburrito.com) Listen to Tom’s podcast: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/who-t…d1197690915?mt=2 Listen to Connor’s new podcast with Adam Tod Brown: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1235651909 Send us an email at [e-mail] Follow our guest Jeremiah Watkins on Twitter: twitter.com/jeremiahstandup Follow our guest Pat Barker on Twitter: twitter.com/patbarkercomedy Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Follow Tom on Twitter: twitter.com/gossgoss6 Visit us on the web: www.meanboyspodcast.com Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Soundcloud: @meanboyspodcast Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-mon…tore/id515449028) Buy Keith’s album (itunes.apple.com/us/album/forever-nap/id1105182043) Podcast logo by Luis Galvez: twitter.com/luiagal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey everybody, it's Connor and Keith from the Mean Boys Podcast. What it do, baby boos? We have a very important announcement. Tonight, the day this comes out, the Mean Boys live show is at Harvell's in Long Beach at 8.30 p.m. It's gonna be ridiculous. It's gonna turn your nuts into super nuts. Indeed it will.

Here's a few things we have coming to the show. People from television, least importantly, followed by pseudo-classy titties in the form of burlesque dancing, and a dominatrix who's going to beat the shit out of us every time one of the Mexican Jokoffs bomb. Yeah, we have big plans with a very violent woman for this opening segment. You guys, if you like this show, you do not want to miss this. We also can announce, because we haven't put it on the event page yet, we're going to have a live Now Is Not The Time about the London terror attack.

And if you thought the panty incident from a couple weeks ago was good, Ramsey says he stopped it. Yeah, and Lord help me, the day is coming where someone commits an act of terrorism just because they want Ramsey to come do that beautiful segment. But it's not here yet, and we have bought a projector screen that we are going to return specifically for this evening. Yeah, so please come, check it out.

You can get free tickets On the Harvell's Long Beach website By using the promo code Mean The link to that Will be in our show notes So please

If you have a friend in the area If you are in the area If you're within two I would say It's worth driving Two to three hours for this Yeah I would definitely Agree with that

Yeah don't get a plane ticket But you know If you're in the greater Southern California area Get the fuck down there Yeah it's gonna be a ton of fun Nothing you were gonna do On a Tuesday but, you know, if you're in the greater Southern California area, get the fuck down there. Yeah, it's going to be a ton of fun. Nothing you were going to do on a Tuesday is going to be better. And if you're in L.A. and you're a bitch, don't go to that.

Go to Roast Battle, because me and Connor will be judging. Indeed, making our judging debut. Very exciting. Also, you can leave the show a review on iTunes. It really helps out a lot. It only takes a second. This is a review we just got from Rando227. Gave me dreams of a Lovecraftian hellscape, so I got a tattoo of them.

God bless you, man. We got that fuck everything, God is dead tattoo. Still the coolest thing that's ever happened to me in show business. Fuckin' A. Skate fast, eat ass. Indeed. If you have any wish the following submissions or any other games or questions, or you just want to drop a line and say hi and tell us you like the show, or you hate the show, or I'm gay or Keith's fat,

do it all at memeboyspodcast.gmail.com. We love hearing from you, both there and on the Twitter page at memeboyspodcast. Those of you who bought a Fuck Everything, God is Dead t-shirt, those are on their way. Indeed they are. Thank you for buying those. The PayPal money is not, unfortunately. Get your shit together, Teespring. Just kidding.

You're a great platform. We'll continue to use you in the future. Also brought to you by Don Carlo's Taco Shop. Hey, Don Carlo's Taco Shop. Scenic La Jolla, California. La Jolla, California. Located conveniently near the La Jolla Comedy Store. Go to eataburrito.com for menu offerings and prices.

Wow, you got all that shit off professionally. Yeah, I sure did. It's almost like we've developed a knack for broadcasting. I like that I mocked professionalism and accidentally just was really good at my job for eight seconds. Abort ad layer of shitty irony or cum pun. Shit, fuck, cum the devil or whatever. These burritos will make you fart rainbow these burritos will fuck your dad and eat your mom i don't know why i said that because that made me sound like someone

on reddit trying to be funny from their cubicle well we've we've salted the earth on this positivity uh our guest this week uh jeremiah watkins uh from all kinds of stuff the goddamn comedy jam on comedy central also a proud member of the all Negro Wave, Rose Battle. Yeah, America's favorite comedian. He's just a barrel of sunshine. It was fun having to bring that nice energy to the podcast. Also, Pat Barker, old friend of the show, returning once more. Also, he's going to do a sports podcast called Out of Their League on iTunes now. And if you like Pat and you like sports, you've got to check that out

because I'm sure it's going to be fantastic. I've not listened to it because I have very little interest in one of those things. Love sports. It's Pat. I think that's about all the housekeeping business out of the way. This was a really fun episode. Enjoy. Hey, everybody. Hey everybody, welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast.

The water's getting warm, so you might as well drown. I'm Connor McSpadden. I'm Keith Carey. I'm Pat Barker. I'm a rollerblading falcon. Oh man, that doesn't make a lot of sense, but it makes perfect sense. He just looks like a cool 90s bird. He does, yeah. Yeah. Like make a lot of sense, but it makes perfect sense. He just looks like a cool 90s bird. He does, yeah. Like a Larry Bird, you might say.

Oh, that wasn't even the 90s. I'm not good at sports. No, yeah. Late 80s, close enough. He's probably alive then, right? Yeah. Still alive. He was born in 1990.

He played as a two-year-old. Oh, yeah. Good for him, man. Larry Bird retired in 88 and was brutally murdered in 89. Everybody remembers that, of course. Boston was in mourning. He played for the Celtics, right? Yes, very good.

They're from Boston. Anyway, Jeremiah Watkins is here. Hey, Jeremiah. Hey, guys, thanks for the intro. Feels great to be here. I think Jeremiah's the only guest that's had his shit together enough in life to have a printer and print out his jokes. I did print out my jokes. I can't say that the quality of the jokes are great, but I did print them out.

But boy, is that text crisp. You just got his tone replaced. That's Comedy Central money, folks. Oh, man. It's funny having Jeremiah in here because you're such a positive dude, and usually this is just such a cesspool of negativity. You know, I've got some ideas for the podcast today. I think that we're going to do something. I think it's going to be a little bit nicer than usual.

I want everyone to know that dead air was while we waited a while for Jeremiah to push a button on his phone. Well, it wasn't seamless. I did appreciate it. Well done, skinny Tom. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, we have no Tom, so we have a new sound guy.

We have a new soundboard guy, Jeremiah Watkins. Nice boys. Love everything. Love everything. God is alive. First of all, this is the most effort anyone, including us, have ever put into this show. By the way, full disclosure,

I spent way more time on that than the joke. Maybe you should have saved it for after we were done. You could have pulled the ripcord, and we would have still respected you as a human being. Pat Barker is also breathing heavily, so you got dueling banjos of sleep apnea. Correctamundo! We're all fired up, gang. What do you say we get into the Mexican joke

off? Ay, so topical. Alright, let's start off something real dumb. You know, make our guests feel comfortable. The U.S. Army reportedly lost track of $2 billion worth of arms. There's no word yet on the location of Jax from Mortal Kombat at this time. He's got $2 billion worth of arms. Yeah, nobody didn't get it.

He's in the Army now. He's our fucking secret weapon. How are you going to beat ISIS? You're going to punch him. I feel like that is maybe Trump's one defense plan. He's like, build more Jaxes. Yeah, I mean, Ra're going to punch him. I feel like that is maybe Trump's one defense plan. It's just like, build more Jacksons. Yeah, I mean, Raiden's not doing anything.

The home of NBA star LeBron James was vandalized with a racial slur. Weirdly, it was gook. The old bait and switch. Well done, Gary. It's an odd pull. Do you think the guy went back to the KKK headquarters and was like, alright, look, we love the enthusiasm. Alright, you found his house. It's tough to do. Do you think the guy went back to the KKK headquarters and was like, all right, look, we love the enthusiasm. All right, you found his house. It's tough to do.

I mean, you got past security. You drugged the guard. But, I mean, Kyle, it's the N-word. What are you doing? I just want to mix it up. LeBron's not the Taiwanese one? Now you're thinking of LeBron. Go ahead.

Unfold your paper, Jeremiah. All right. Reading from an ancient scroll. Going off the race one, let's do this one. Last week, a white supremacist killed two people on a train in Portland, Oregon, further proving that black guys are still the best at running trains. Damn. Damn. Damn.

That is a mean boy's ass joke. That was fantastic. Yeah, man. Man, I'm assimilating. Well done. I don't like you appropriating negative culture, Jeremiah. All right? Every time I see Jeremiah, we're just like, oh, well, if it isn't one of my favorite mean

boys. A little trademark symbol just appears yeah tm that just proves that jeremiah can do this he just chooses to be nice which bothers me even more if you weren't capable of being mean that would be one thing but all right here we go uh a recently terminated factory employee in orlando returned to his workplace and killed five of his former co- coworkers before turning the gun on himself. In a tweet, president Trump condemned the killings,

but praise the killer for creating six new jobs in America. Jesus Christ. More than him. Am I right? Everybody. Political. We live in California. I'm still think I'm dangerous.

By the way, Connor is definitely still in his masturbation pants. He's wearing his, like, sleepy, like, kind of flannel-y, like, kind of, like, sleep pants. They're called pajama bottoms, Jeremiah. They're not quite pajamas. You, like, wake up in pajamas. You change into those, and then those are jerkin' pants. Yeah, those are jizz bottoms.

Can't fight that. All right, tying into Pat's joke, the Pope gave Donald Trump a 192-page letter on climate change, and in a related story, the bathrooms at Mar-a-Lago have finally been restocked with fresh toilet paper. He doesn't care about the earth, guys. I'm saving all my good ones for the live show next week

because we're going to have a dominatrix beating the shit out of us Every time we bomb You guys are getting some B-sides today That dominatrix literally just texted me Fun quick sidebar about the dominatrix I saw her tweet the mean boys I was with my mom visiting my parents

I was like oh let's look at this dominatrix Scrolled maybe three flicks of the index finger Before there was a dude shitting in a bathtub With his dick out crying While she painted fuck on his chest and lipstick and i was like oh hey ma yeah it's uh we may have jumped in over the uh over the limit here she's a legit all right this is not hardcore disney dominatrix like oh i put on like leggings and sit on your face like no she will break your dreams put them back together and then fart on them was she the one Didn't you tell me a story one time about a woman?

She was cutting people up and eating them? No, no, no. Well, yeah. You haven't met Keith Smart? That's a different dominatrix situation. Oh, okay. You know two more dominatrixes than I do. I know a lot of them.

Well, that was straight-up sadism. Have you told that story on the podcast, Fat Mike's birthday party? I don't know if I have, but I'll tell you guys if I haven't. This is pretty outstanding. Yeah, You fat Mike's birthday party? I don't know if I have, but I'll tell you guys if I haven't. This is pretty outstanding. Yeah, so I did a birthday party. I did comedy. It was at a BDSM dungeon or whatever.

And all these weird acts went on or whatever and they were all pretty crazy but normal. Then this lady went up and got burned with a blowtorch and the whole room smelled like burning flesh

and me and my friend who I was there with, we freaked out. That's the most insane thing. A little context for the person being burned and the person burning I think might be good.

Oh, yeah. It was like, she was like this black lady in a nun's outfit and then he was in this weird, scary Spanish Inquisition uniform. It looked like a car battery he was torching her with.

Sister Act 3 sounds terrible. By the way, it's important to note at this point that Jeremiah looks horrified in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt. He's like, man, this isn't tubular at all.

We go outside and we're talking to one of the people. Talk about a shredder. We're talking to one of the people and we're like, in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt. Man, this isn't tubular at all. We go outside and we're talking to one of the people. Talk about a shredder. We're talking to one of the people and we're like, dude, this is the gnarliest shit we've ever seen. And he's like, no, look what we did last night. He shows this video and it's all consensual. It's a lady. She's laying on a table and this guy comes over with a scalpel

and he cuts like a chunk of her thigh out basically. Like about the diameter of like a deck of cards, but like a little bit thinner. And then he's got this chafing dish, and he puts it in there and he starts cooking it up. He's got spices and everything. He's got a whole emerald situation on stage. And then he just starts feeding this bitch's leg to this lady.

Feeding it back to her. I'm concerned. What circles are you running in? He's not running anywhere. God damn it! That is the best... That is, like, the best Hey up top That is like The best paid gig I did this year

Wow That is insane Yeah it was The funniest thing is All this stuff is happening Bear in mind Sam Tripoli was hosting Yeah

Of course Hey guys I love that It was like watching Like a junior high Football coach Try to wrangle The end of Requiem

For a dream It was the funniest Fucking shit I've ever try to wrangle the end of Requiem for a dream. It was the funniest fucking shit I've ever seen. That party had no effects and no cops. All right, so is it my turn? Yeah. All right, let's get away from this fun riff and do it to bad joke. A man murdered his wife and children in a home previously owned by John Lennon. The suspect was seen fleeing the scene in a yellow submarine and has since been apprehended after a tense standoff in an octopus's garden. I like that.

It's fun. Yeah, it's fun. It did start with a family being murdered, but yeah. They don't have to all be cannibalism anecdotes. Game of Thrones returns soon to HBO for its final season, but you can catch the current season of Game of Thrones. What will Trump tweet next from the toilet? God damn it. catch the current season of Game of Thrones, what will Trump tweet next from the toilet? God

damn it! If you do that joke three times in the mirror, Jay Leno gets a TV show. You really could fee for that one. Hey. A bunch of people quit at a protest, so I got a job writing for Bill Moore. I'm very excited.

I need the money. Just writing the N-word, though, weirdly. It's like the Simpsons opening scene in the chocolate. Never mind. If ever there was a job you were qualified for, though. He's too old to skateboard out of the building, so I don't know if we can do that. Tiger Woods was arrested for DUI in Florida, but in a statement stressed that alcohol was not a factor Officials confirmed that Woods blew a.00 on the breathalyzer

Coming in at.08 under par That's probably a good joke I like that It's a good golf joke Golf is still too close to sports for me to understand Yeah, I mean, it was technically a joke Thank you Alright, moving on I appreciate it, Pat Thanks, buddy was technically a joke. Thank you. All right, moving on.

I appreciate it, Pat. Thanks, buddy. Don't try to team up. I like the new positive mean boys. Yeah. Yeah. Correctamundo. Oh, you got to send us that because that's amazing. We're going to put that on the soundboard.

You're welcome to it. Yeah, I don't have any other uses for it. Yeah, you don't need to have dominion over that radio. Montana GOP Congressman-elect Greg Gianforte was accused of blot... All right, I'm going to take this one from the top. Montana GOP Congressman-elect Greg Gianforte Was accused of body-slamming a journalist last week Thankfully, the Guardian reporter was able to flee

Before he got his bag of thumbtacks and Mr. Sacco I did like the same joke last week Wait, did you? I did the Suplex City one, but it was still a wrestling joke You know what, I wrote this one, it's from a couple weeks ago And I just wrote a bunch of them, and I was just like Oh shit, they're coming over in an hour, I gotta copy and paste some of these Whenever people come over They're like, I don't know if my jokes are good It's like, don't worry they're coming over in an hour. I gotta copy and paste some of these. Whenever people come over and they're like,

I don't know if my jokes are good. It's like, don't worry, we haven't written ours yet and we're plugging in the laptops. Right, right. I spent all the time on the intros and the sound effects and then I was like, ah, I've got 30 minutes left before I gotta go. You made the right call. Those are always more fun. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Terrorists killed seven in London this week.

Onlookers said they grew suspicious when they saw an unmarked van driving on the wrong, wrong side of the road. Not because the van was driving on the wrong side of the road, but they drive weird. Shut the fuck up, fat man! Hey, I never authorized this, and I'm not okay with it. The human Tom soundboard. My goal today. The whitest man in America yelling Samuel L. Jackson lines.

It's going to go bad real fast. Fucking Bloomin' Onion L. Jackson over here. Samuel XXL Jackson. All great. The American Academy of Pediatrics recently did a study that shows that babies sleep better in their own rooms after four months. Celebrating everywhere, deadbeat dads. That one hits close to home right now. It's always nice when one of those studies come out that just justifies dirtbag behavior.

I love it. You're like, no, white wine is good for your heart. I'm like, well, yeah, one glass, not eight. Yeah, don't worry about it. I'm fine. I'm going to be the healthiest woman in America. Yeah, I'm fucking drinking my way

to a six pack. Bill Maher issued an apology for saying the N-word on his show Real Time. In the statement, Maher said, I apologize for using

such inflammatory language. It was absolutely retarded of me. I'm such a dumb faggot. Oh, that's outstanding. That sounds like a Keith Carey Facebook status.

Somebody yelled at me recently. They're like, you're on Mean Boys. You say retarded and faggot. Why don't you say the N-word? And I was like, the answer is because shut up. Because I don't need to. Well, because you're both of those things, so you're allowed to say it. Grumble.

All right. A teenage girl was pulled into a harbor by a sea lion. It contracted an infection transmitted through the animal's mouth. Wildlife authorities are urging local swimmers to be safe and unmatch Keith Carey on Tinder immediately. There it is. We all saw it coming a whole fucking harbor away. It's an animal and a disease. I know.

My genitals cannot be far from it. Keith's dead eyes got even deader like halfway through that joke. He knew. He knew. Yeah, the joy went out for a bag of cigarettes. Oh, you look mad. You got your tusks out, buddy. That's not how tusks work.

Well, they have sea lights. They're always out. Retractable tusks. Yeah, they're like Wolverine. Shink. Snicked. Ivanka Trump saluted fallen veterans on Memorial Day by tweeting a recipe for champagne popsicles.

She then drank a baby seal smoothie while declaring this year's Hunger Games begun! I cannot imagine being that dumb to think that was a good idea. I'm just surprised Wilbur had seal-eyeing jokes back-to-back. Oh yeah, a seal is technically different. Oh wait, I think...

I'm out of it. I'm sorry. Come on, Walrus Jack. Go for the three-peat,... I'm out of it. I'm sorry. Come on, Walrus, Joe. Really? Go for the three feet, Jeremiah. You can do it. Okay, let's see here. Research shows that in Texas for the last three years, about 35,000 teens and young women get pregnant before they turn 20.

In other completely unrelated news, for the last three years, Jeremiah Watkins has gone to Texas for spring break. Spring break. You got a lot of kids in Texas. Well, thankfully, you don't got to be in the same room as them. Am I right, everybody? Hey, call back.

In all seriousness, Jeremiah's fiance is very mad. She's live tweeting right now. How are we live streaming? Is she here? Did the CIA bug our fucking house? She just pops out of a vent No We don't have vents We don't have air conditioning

Oh, I know Look at you We don't have air conditioning Judging how well my golf joke went earlier Let's try baseball The New York Mets issued an apology After their mascot, Mr. Met Was caught on camera

Giving a fan the middle finger. Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, officials responded to complaints that the Philly fanatic hit a Mets fan with a brick by giving him the key to the city. A little mascot on fan violence. I love that one. Those are my favorite videos to watch are just mascots being dicks. Oh, the dude in the costume got fired. The guy who was playing Mr. Met, he flipped off a fan. I didn't think they fired the actual Mr. Met.

They fired the fictional character. The noid has been severed. Severed noid. Severed noid. Might be an episode title. Yeah, it might be a medical condition you're developing. The Minnesota Highway Patrol has been arrested. Fucking shit. You know what? I'm nervous

because Jeremiah's here. Why? He's like the chillest dude there's ever been. I know, but I just want him to like us. He looks like a genie that lives in a bong. That's amazing. A genie that lives in a bong. He just blows, he comes out and he's like, what?

The Minnesota Highway Patrol has arrested a school bus driver for suspicion of being on drugs behind the wheel, reckless endangerment, and plagiarizing from the Simpsons. Whoa! Something Otto does. Yeah. Otto from the Simpsons. Keep going.

He stole it from him. Do you guys get it? I feel like you don't get it. A clown wielding a machete was seen attempting to hitchhike on a California highway. We here at the Mean Boys Podcast wish Tom Goss a fast and safe journey home. He's in Hawaii. I mean, he's like, yeah, if anyone would try to hitchhike from Hawaii, it would be

Tom. He's just got his thumbs up at a bunch of pelicans. Yeah, I'm gonna catch a ride on one of them screen door submarines. You guys work together, you could get me to Catalina. It's like that movie Up, but sad. Why hasn't there been a Netflix sadflix like sad documentary about like the behind the scenes mascots world because i feel like that's some shit they do i

think there is is there really i feel like i saw that on hulu or something i gotta watch that because there's one called darkon about live action role players and this guy's a stay-at-home dad and he's like 36 and like his kingdom's getting taken over and he's just very upset and then at the end of the movie he loses his kingdom he's just like yeah i still gotta do laundry while my wife does her marketing job. The most shocking part of it is that that man has a wife. Indeed. Wow.

That's insane. I mean, speaking of wives, spring break notwithstanding. Yeah, right? I'm busy, Tom. You're for me, man. In health news, a Wisconsin family was able to stay together with the help of Medicaid, informing people that AIDS are still around and bringing people together. That was a reach.

A little bit. Was that really news? A family is fine? Yeah. Is that just about the concept of Medicaid? At this point, that is breaking news. Breaking news. Somebody's okay.

Right? It was one of the title articles on NPR today. Fucking NPR. Yeah. Love it. NPR desperately grasping for a silver lining. Yeah. All right, here we go.

Let's close with a shitty one. Two Papa John's employees have been arrested for selling cocaine to customers who use the secret order of extra olives. They were busted thanks to a Yelp review from Keith Carey stating, I got my extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage, bacon, ham, barbecue chicken, and buffalo chicken, but the olives were replaced by drugs and they weren't even delivered in time for Mother's Day. One star. Wow. God damn it.

That was like Eminem's verse on Rap God. Like, how did you have enough breath? Scintillating, titillating, Keith is above fucking fat. Well, and the best part is i heard as soon as i heard papa john i'm like all right well it's definitely me but are we going to a mom joke or a fat joke and somehow you did trick question both i uh i am impressed and also get the fuck out of my house fair enough i guess you know you might say that those really are some mean boys. Oh, yeah. Mean boys. We'll be right back after this. We'll be right back.

Twisted Nerve Productions is the number one name in hardcore events that you shouldn't use the port-a-potties at. Theaters in Austin and New York have offered up women-only screenings of Wonder Woman, leaving the guys out in the cold. We've heard your barrage of mopey tweets loud and clear, fellas, and Twisted Nerve is gonna grab you by your neglected dicks

and drag you kicking and screaming into the cinematic event of the century. Trim your nuts and practice your family guy voices because it's time for the Man's Film Festival! Why should the ladies have all the fun? While they're watching that dyke play with a sword,

you'll be spending 72 hours locked in a movie theater with the manliest men 4chan has to offer. There's going to be so much testosterone, your balls will grow dicks with beards. And this event is strictly by men for men. Do you have a pussy? Drown in it, trollop! We've curated three days of the most fist-clenching,

no-directions-asking, salad-rejecting programming imaginable. Did you love Wolf of Wall Street? Hope so, because we're showing it three times in a row! Don't like it? Tough tits, Sally! Go be gay somewhere else! The real-life Jordan Belfort's gonna be there, teaching you how to sell

bridges to chumps. And then he's gonna bare knuckle box with Tucker Max. Winner becomes FBI director. Loser has to fuck a fat girl. Stallone's coming. Not Sylvester, the other one. No, not Frank, his phone was disconnected. The other, other one. I think

his name is John, who gives a fuck. He's bringing a special edition of Rocky. It's just the regular edition, but they pulled out the part where he cries and replaced it with a picture of a tit. The guy who does the coding for Mr. Skin is gonna be there, showing a retrospective of the hottest sex scenes in history. From Black Swan to Requiem for a Dream,

from Irreversible to The Accused, you're gonna be given a deeper understanding of the complex intersection of cinema and eroticism until you blow a fat load. Are you a fan of musicals? Then cram a LaCroix up your tampon hole, because we're showing three hours of Rush videos. Sure, that's not technically a movie, but if you've got a problem with it, the door's right there, and you can slam your dick tip in it. Our closing night film is Fight Club, because of course it is. Sit in a room with a bunch of your bros, slide a long neck bottle of beer across your delicate lips, and watch two hours of male flesh pounding against more male flesh. And it can't be gay, because it was written by a dude named Chuck.

Our concession stand will only be serving the manliest snacks. And it can't be gay because it was written by a dude named Chuck. Our concession stand will only be serving the manliest snacks. The Diet Coke tap is now a Jaeger dispenser. The M&M's are now Slim Jim. And nothing doesn't have nacho cheese on it. I hope you brought a towel, Nancy, because these snacks are a fucking catastrophe. Tickets are on sale now. All proceeds go towards re-election campaigns

for male Ghostbusters. Man's Film Festival 2017! Hey everybody, welcome back to the Mean Boys Podcast. I prepared a very special game for our guest Jeremiah Watkins and this game is going to seem like it's mean,

but I think that as you play you're going to feel a lot better. And as you know, Jeremiah is a part of the All-Negro Wave. He does not look convinced. The infamous Gorilla Sketch Troop from Comedy Central's Roast Battle television program. And the Wave, not super well received on Twitter. Oh, no. If you're going to read tweets, this is going to be great.

Yeah, we've got some tweets, but here's what we're going to do. I'm giving you the Twitter handle and what they tweeted, and you're going to have to guess what the rest of their timeline is. All right, I want to give you a window into these people's lives to see why they're fucking spending their Saturday evening just calling you a bitch. Just yelling at the personification of Joy. Okay. That's what the wave is.

Yeah, so I'll give you the handle, the tweet, and then I'm going to give you ABCD. What is the rest of this person's tweets about? Okay. Multiple choice. Yeah. We got multiple choice. So this one comes from Bob K. At Bob's a tweeting.

I'll be tagging all of them in this, by the way. Yes. Go fuck yourself. The Internet's public. All right, you assholes. You want to talk shit about my friend. You get it from the fucking mean boys. Yeah.

Bob's a tweeting writes at roast battle. Can you please stop giving the wave work? I'm pretty sure it's just three homeless guys on acid, but not in a funny way. Now, what does this guy tweet about? Does he a shit on Trump B at mentioned movie stars trying to talk them into projects.

See, ask people to make more DVDs or D all of the above. Oh, wow. Wait, Z, ask people to make more DVDs, or D, all of the above? Oh, wow. Wait. Ask people to make more DVDs? Yeah, is he lobbying for more DVD production in America? Oh, God. I'm going to say D, all of the above.

Pat Barker. I feel like B. Yeah, I was actually going to go with B, too. At movie stars. Yeah. All right. The correct answer is D, all of the above. Yeah, I was actually going to go with B, too. At movie stars. Yeah. All right, the correct answer is D, all of the above. Oh, wow. Hey, NBCSNL, please make more best of DVDs.

I know many skits are on your bad site, but I want to buy the discs. Cater, Sudeikis, et cetera. You fucking old man. Shut the fuck up. All right, get BitTorrent or Seeso and get off the goddamn internet, you fool. Can someone write a good Three Stooges movie? Actors were good. Story sucked ass.

Fuck Drizzy Shore. What? Not even related. Hey, yeah, real Donald Trump. If the election was today, you wouldn't come close. You're a failure and everyone could see it now.

Oh, that's really gonna... It's gonna hurt from Bob to Twins. Yeah, you nailed him. Dude, he's gonna hate whenever I announce that The Wave is doing a Three Stooges movie. In all fairness, that would be the best movie of all time.

I would watch that to death. I want to see you three try to move a piano in black and white more than anything in the world. And finally, why hasn't Pat Nuzle ever hosted SNL? That just occurred to me, and now I'm sad and confused. They're not listening to you because no one cares about you, especially not your mom. All right, let's move on. Jeremiah looks uncomfortable being in a new beef.

Jeremiah's not saying shit. It's all me. I'm coming to the wave's defense. This one comes from at Keith Tells Jokes. The wave did 9-11. I don't appreciate that. Oops! That's not a Keith tweet. I think he took it down later. Mike Holmes at MikeHolmes34 writes, I feel like the wave is only there

to make sure people stop laughing after a joke so they can hear the next one. Hey, man, we're a palate cleanser. Like an oyster cracker. Like all those unfunny sketches in between the Mean Boys scripted segments. Now, does Mike Holmes tweet about, A, does he get into heated debates about wrestling? B, share Call of Duty memes that get no favorites. C, tweeted a Gamefly support center about how they haven't updated his shipping address.

Or D, all of the above. He for sure shares memes that nobody likes. The question is, is it all of the above? Or is that the only thing? I'm going to go with all of the above on this one. All right. Pat Parker says all of the above. I'm going to go with all the above on this one. Alright, Pat Parker says all the above. I'm going to go with just those memes.

Just those memes. Just B. I'm going to say just the Gamefly one. Just the Gamefly one. The correct answer is A. Gets into heated wrestling debates. Alright, he writes, that was the worst gimmick match ever. Stares over hitting people and getting under the ring. Alright, you stare purist. What a weird thing

to love wrestling and hate the wave all right uh a stadium full of fans chanting john cena sucks almost as loud as his music he's forcing him down our throats lol i'm seeing some simulators between john cena and the wave not a bad person to be compared to honestly i mean he's doing pretty well yeah uh well obviously can because vince is worried about money and he isn't going to fire the bank sorry hey the fucking vince mcmahon is not taking financial advice from you. His wife's busy running the fucking small business development sector of our country right now. This is the maddest I've ever seen, Connor.

I'm just trying to let Jeremiah know that he's got a man at his corner. Hey, man. It's nice to have a publicist, finally. This is like Jeremiah was a kid who was getting bullied in school, and then Connor was the kid who was like, I'm going to stand up for you you but then you just raped the bully. It's like, look what I did for my friend Jeremiah. You're like, I don't fucking know you. I didn't ask for that.

You just raped that guy. Like a bunch. The mistake we made on this one was thinking that he liked wrestling. Because you said, I can't imagine somebody who would like wrestling would hate the wave. He clearly hates wrestling. Every one of these is like, bitching the wave. He clearly hates wrestling. Yeah. Yeah. Every one of these is like bitching about wrestling. He clearly hates being alive.

Yeah. He hates fun. As well he should. You know, if you want, we can just stop playing the game. We can just do something that you might enjoy, like maybe a coloring book or just make some hot cocoa. Do you guys have coloring books? I do have an adult coloring book that I have.

What? That my girlfriend got it for me for my birthday. Shut up. I've not even opened it. You're a liar. You've colored it. I have not colored it. You're a liar. I swear to God I haven't. I've not even opened it. You're a liar. You've colored it. I've not colored it. You're a liar. I swear to God

I haven't. I haven't looked at it because I'm a bad boyfriend. Is it just like the weird like fractals and shit? No, I don't think it's pictures. I really haven't looked at it because I was just like... Hey, why aren't you and me coloring that adult coloring book together? I don't know because I'm a grown man. That sounds... Think about every other thing

we've ever done in this house. Why aren't we having a coloring book? Okay, well let's move on to Keating Elrod at Zombie Fair at 77. He writes, new rule. Ooh, oddly topical now. First person on roast battle to Spartan kick the wave in the chest when they come on stage wins. I mean, that would be hilarious to this guy's credit. I mean, to kick three people at once is impressive. Well, here's the thing.

If somebody kicks you in the chest, fair enough. They're going to get away with it. It's going to be funny. Somebody tries to kick Jamar in the chest, they're going to die. He's going to catch your foot, steal your Timberlands, and then fucking give you a concussion with him. All right. Now, is he A, live tweeting baseball with no hashtags, B, tweeting about a guy named Carl, C, tweeting about heroin. Or D, all of the above. Oh, no.

I'm going with all of the above for this guy. I'll throw in the kitchen sink of the wave. You're throwing the kitchen sink right back at him. I'm going baseball. Going baseball. I also feel like it's baseball. All right. Let's see.

The answer is D, all of the above. Yeah. That is some diverse interest. He writes, Carl almost made me poop my pants. Holy shit, I was about to take up heroin law. And how did the most annoying people in the ballpark end up behind home plate? Wow. And there's a lot more variations of those.

There's more Carl stuff? There's some more Carl stuff. And he never defines who Carl is? No, Carl is not defined. It's like an unsolved math problem. That's the worst line of code error when you're programming. It's like, oh, I got an undefined Carl in there somewhere. I got to go look at my fucking subscript.

An undefined Carl is like a sex move where you do something on her chest, and then she's like, I don't know. Undefined? It could be whatever. That dominatrix is going to give me an undefined Carl when my fucking Bill Clinton pun eats shit. Jeremiah looks uncomfortable. In Spanish, it's called a Carlos Mysterioso. That's like Anthony Weiner's fucking pseudonym.

Oh, Carlos Danger. Carlos Danger, yeah. How did you not? Lame people, don't try to get away with, like, sketchy guy shit. All right? You're like a... You're a fucking dad, all right? You got shorts that go up too high with too many pockets, and you're like Whitesnake.

You can't go running around as Carlos Danger. You don't know how to tour. That's the browser that you use to buy drugs on the internet. Anyway, Greg... Why do you know that? I don't know. I was unfortunate in my formative years. Fair enough. Greg McCloud, at Greg Mc Anyway, Greg... Why do you know that? I don't know. I was unfortunate in my formative years. Fair enough.

Greg McLeod, at Greg McLeod writes, What the wave must think before every stupid thing they do. That was fucking hilarious. We better kill this laughing pronto. That's unnecessarily mean. Again, these people,

someone that, you know, they thought they'd never reach this man, and I guess I'm kind of making their dreams come true now that I think about it, which makes me feel like kind of a piece of shit. I'm going to read these things directly to the target of your ire. How recent are these?

I'm very curious about that. These are all from when the finals were. It's like the 28th through the February 3rd. Can you imagine if there were people still angry about the wave in June and just tweeting about it randomly now? January 20th, impeach the wave. I don't know what that means. I reposted a wave thing. I did this Judd Apatow meme and some haters started to

pop back up online just from that. I just searched the wave in general. I thought if I just searched Jeremiah specifically, it might get a bit weird. More so than it is already. So is that guy tweeting, what is he doing? Is he A, playing hashtag games on At Midnight and getting zero favorites? B, retweeting anarchist anonymous accounts like the 4chan anonymous guy?

C, at replying to mid-level rappers? Or D, all of the above? Mid-level is so specific. Yeah. You know, these would be like your Quavos, your Young Thugs. I don't know who any of these people are. Your little Uzi Verts. Your undefined Carls.

Connor started naming mid-level rappers while looking at me, which makes me feel like I have the most street cred of any of the three of us. Yeah, that's what people think. You're from Pittsburgh. There's crime there. I know who little Uzi Vert is. Anybody else? Yeah.

Yeah, Jeremiah. I actually don't know. I was just saying the name because I heard it. Fair enough. What's this guy tweeting about what was the first one again playing hashtag games on midnight and getting zero favorites i think it's that one yeah no you know i want to go against keith because i don't have any points yet and i know we're not keeping score but i yeah i'll go with the middle one the the anonymous uh retweets and jeremiah i'll go see i'll go rapper game let's do that He's starting beef He might be interested in some other beef

Unfortunately the answer is A You are wrong Here's some of his greatest hits Beverly kills 90210 Not safe for work 90s songs The San Francisco Gay Bars New NBA team Star Wars taught me that C-3PO's a whiny little bitch.

Keen insight there, Greg McLeod. The Fuckstones, problematic kids shows, and every day I'm recycling Earth Day songs. Oh, man, I'm going to give him points on that one. Nice points. I thought you were going to have the Chris Hardwick drop. I hate Ab Midnight. I mean, Christ tells us to love our enemy.

Am I right, guys? Ab Midnight has emboldened shitty, unfunny people the way Trump emboldened the KKK. They used to be silent and just walk amongst us in shadows. Yeah, you're burning a cross made of puns on my Twitter timeline, all right? Someone who slaves away all day at his shitty Twitter puns. Fuckstones was supposed to be the Flintstones. I don't know if you guys caught that. I actually didn't.

I was like, this is going over my head entirely. He's too pure of heart. He couldn't understand it. Cannot process hate. Jeremiah just picked up Thor's hammer. That's weird. Do we have any more? I would have gone with the Clitstones.

This is the final round. This comes to us from a man named Mark Jerome Whose Twitter handle is Shitty Fat Tits That's his handle? That's his handle Shitty Fat Tits I wonder who got that before me

You can probably Venmo him for it Shitty Fat Tits is also the dominatrix We'll be working with On the live show Hey, they're probably pretty good fat tits Okay He writes Rose Battle, what's the point of the wave? Now, does he A. Retweet porn stars Hey, they're probably pretty good fat tits. Okay. He writes,

Rose Battle, what's the point of the wave? Now, does he A, retweet porn stars, B, write sad professions of unrequited love to an anonymous person, C, share pro-Trump memes, or D, all of the above? 100% all of the above. It's got to be all of the above. I really hope that B is one of them.

That is a thorough profile of a sad man. Yeah. Jeremiah, your guess. I'll hop on the bandwagon. All the above. Alright, it is B. Write sad professions of unrequited love. I'm going to read you some of these and then keep in mind that this is the man that tried to hurt you and he was really

just hurting himself. Hey, so he tweeted this at somebody but we don't know who it is? No, these are just like clearly about someone but they're not named. Okay. You're going to wish I cared the way I used to. Good things won't last forever. I just want you to talk to i cared the way i used to good things won't last forever i just want you to talk to me as much as i want to talk to you hate that i have to associate with people at my work even being around them annoys me why the fuck can't i just

get over you fucking shit i just want to be better already haven't heard from you at all today i'm doing okay if you are wondering. Hashtag doubt it. And finally, I demand that at Taco Bell has all day breakfast or they lose a somewhat satisfied customer. Oh, no. That would be so sad. What if all those tweets were about the wave? He just loves you guys so much. He keeps DMing Willie, but nothing.

It's like his version of Stan. So I'm just going to say, hey, at Shitty Fat Tits, I think you'd probably like the Mean Boys podcast. And you know what? I think we can say we forgive you for your tweet if you want to apologize. You know what? Just own it. It's okay. It's all good.

Jeremiah seems so bummed out. I thought this would be more fun, guys. Yeah, it's ended up being real weird. If it makes you feel any better, I'm not significant enough to get a notable amount of hate mail. At least not enough to compile a game out of. Yeah. I got a lot of hate mail off Rose Battle, too, if that makes you feel any better. Oh, no. I'm very used to it.

I'd rather have people talking than not at all. I think it's good whenever you get tweets like that. everybody else was getting tweets like all right go alex like olivia's the best and mine was like you racist why'd you make that rape joke yeah but that's just because you're doing polarizing jokes yeah no they weren't wrong which are at a point memorable you know what i mean it looks like his body's north polarizing right that doesn't mean anything like a animal that lives up there. Yeah, you were doing stuff that in some way you could understand why people would

hate it. Jeremiah does like the worm and gets death threats. Why are you so sad, Jeremiah? I put on a funny hat and they threw a brick at my window. Let some love into your heart. The Mean Boys podcast will be right back. Whoa! Hey everybody, this is Ken Bone from those Let some love into your heart. The Mean Boys Podcast will be right back. Whoa! Hey, everybody.

This is Ken Bone from those debate memes last year. My agent dropped me after my unsettlingly thorough porn analysis came to light on my Reddit page, so I've been forced to pursue other business ventures, which is why I'm hosting the first annual Bone Zone Irrelevancy Con at the Glendale Hilton this Saturday from noon to six. I'll be signing red sweaters and giving a presentation on why a 60-40 Brazilian-Japanese mix is the most bonerific race combo, plus defending George Zimmerman. But it's not just me.

All your favorite Flash and the Pan Phenoms will be there. The Cash Me Outside Girl will be given a Snapchat workshop and getting drunk and saying the n-word to Antoine Dobson. The Octomom is posing for pictures and letting youngsters use her labia as a slip and slide. We've got a special lecture from Tila Tequila on why the earth is flat, but those titties ain't. Monica Lewinsky has a booth where she'll be selling her handbags and demonstrating the stain-fighting power of OxyClean. The Situation and Kevin Federline will be donning inflatable sumo suits and duking it out on a balance beam over a kiddie pool full of their family's tears. Mean Boys podcast co-host Connor McSpatten will be answering your questions about Keith Carey and finding excuses to remind you that he was also on Comedy Central for two and a half minutes. William Hung from American Idol will be giving us updates every hour on the hour on if the Leave Britney Alone guy is still alive. Yeah. And for our entertainment that evening, Susan Boyle and the Chocolate Rain guy will be dueting autotune remixes of Black Women saying goofy shit on the news.

See you there. We might only have 15 minutes of fame, but we've got six whole hours of fun. My mom stopped speaking to me, and I just want it all to end. Ladies and gentlemen, the Mean Boys podcast returns with a round of our favorite game to close out the show, as we always do. Pat Barker, let's play Witch of the Following. Yay! I prepared a game for you guys, because I feel bad that Connor always reads these and never gets to play. I played a few times. I fucking suck at it.

Well, be prepared to suck again. This is, which of the following is not a real Snoop Dogg other venture from his Wikipedia page? Snoop Dogg. This is a relevant one because you've worked with Snoop. Yeah. I am from Long Beach and Connor is also here.

By the way, in terms of other ventures, you need at least 16 of these to make a Witch of the Following game. So this guy's got a lot of irons in the fire. Snoop, in addition to being, of course, a great rapper, has done a lot of other things. We're going to find out which of these he did and did not do. Number one,

Witch of the Following is not a television show that Snoop Dogg created. A. Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. B. Dogg created? A. Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. B. Dog After Dark. C. Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood. Or D. The Snoop Files. Oh, God. I really want to see

him as a paranormal investigator. Hey, man, these big footprints are looking for shit. Something, something. You know, I'm bad at improv, fam. I'm not even really snooped up. No, she sounds like an old black grandpa. Sounds like playing dominoes on the porch. It kind of sounds like you're Bill Clinton.

Hey, I do more like eating dominoes on the porch, Gary. You don't have a room and you like pizza. Oh, fuck. Fuck, man. I'm going to say The Dog Files. That, fuck. Fuck, man. I'm going to say the Dog Files. That's going to be my guess. Snoop Files? The Snoop Files, yeah.

What was A? A was Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. I'm going to say Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. I don't think that one existed. The correct answer is D, the Snoop Files. Damn it! Oh, jumping into an early lead, bitches. I wanted to believe.

Doggy Fizzle Televizzle was evidently a sketch comedy show that he put together that did not last long. Oh, man. You know, it was like the state. It just wasn't appreciated at its time. My favorite canceled TV show of all time is Flavor Flav sitcom called Under One Roof, and it was basically Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but it starred Flavor Flav.

Oh, no. And it was the fucking... I can't find it anywhere. I watched every one of the 30 episodes that they shot. It was horrifying. It was exactly what you wanted it to be I remember the Flavor Flav era Where there was like five years Where he was on top of the world Yeah it was real weird Yeah

Simpler times It was weird because It was like a weird comeback Because he was dormant For so many years And then all of a sudden People were like Oh yeah I like this guy again

Like a volcano or locust Mount St. Flav Yeah Flavor Flav bite at his times in the cave of irrelevancy behold and then when the clock struck midnight of 2005 which was hanging around his neck he was like world star john travolta like he disappeared for 20 years and then came back Alright here we go Number two

Which of the following is not an award That Snoop Dogg has won A. An AVN award B. A Soul Train music award C. A Grammy Or D. An MTV movie award Oh That's a pretty good one

I wonder Because I know there's some controversy About the Grammy Because I think he was on know there's some controversy about the Grammy, because I think he was on Kendrick's album to pimp a butterfly, and I'm not sure if that won. I don't think he won it, though. No, but I'm going to say it's a Grammy. I'm going to say it's a Grammy as well.

I'll just go with MTV Movie Award, just because it's random. I feel like he got an AVN Award somehow. He definitely got it. He made porn. Oh, he did? He did. He wasn't in it, but there was this weird series of porn. I think it was through Hustler where he just hangs out in the background while people fuck

at his house. Wait, what? Yeah, do you not remember this? He's like the Puffy of Boners. He's just on Big Papa like, yeah, every weekend. Yeah, he's just kind of hanging out. He's just like the DJ Khaled in the room. We the best!

And he's not doing anything. Everyone's having a great time! He's impressed! Damn it! See, I say Grammy. All right, you're going Movie Award? Yeah. Crick enters C, a Grammy.

He actually has the record with 17 nominations and no wins. He won an MTV Movie Award for Best Celebrity Cameo in Training Day, and he has two AVN Awards. You didn't give him enough credit. He actually directed the films under his screen name, Snoop Scorsese. Wow. I did not know he was directing the porn. He had a brief period where he dabbled.

I believe he's out of the game now, but he got in, got a couple awards, and got out. Amazing. Amazing. Okay. Number three. Which of the following is not a Snoop Dogg other venture? A. Made a music video with Kate Upton about eating Hot Pockets. B. Filmed a sexual harassment video for newly hired FedEx office employees.

C. Was in a scene that got cut from a Very Muppet Christmas movie. What? What? Shit. I know for a fact one of these is true because I've seen it. I gotta figure the WWE is true. Kate Upton, I don't think you could pull those ingredients out of your ass. I'm gonna guess that's true. It's between FedEx and what's the other one?

It was in a scene that got cut from a very Muppet Christmas movie I'm going to say Fuck I'm going to say B, the FedEx one I'm saying B, the FedEx one as well What was C? C was in a scene that got cut from a very Muppet Christmas movie Yeah, I think Yeah, I'm going to go with C Unfortunately, they're correct a scene that got cut from a very muppet christmas movie yeah i think yeah i'm gonna go see unfortunately

they're correct he did not make a sexual harassment video for newly hired fedex office employees fuck well i'm just glad that that muppet christmas thing exists yeah and watch that hot pocket video if you want to just lose faith in there ever being any goodness in the universe it's how could i do that with jeremiah in the room you see, you've seen it, Keith? The Hot Pocket video? Yeah. The Hot Pocket video is what I call the porn. It's not like the fucking Jerry Lewis or whatever clown Holocaust movie. You could probably find it. Yeah, they were trying to get people to watch it. Oh, that's hilarious.

I've heard nothing about that. Yeah, it was some sort of drop it like it's hot. Yeah, those porns were like thought pockets. Am I right? Thought pockets was good. God damn it. Oh, it didn't even put together drop it like it's hot. That, those porns were like thought pockets. Am I right? Thought pockets. It was good. God damn it. Oh, it didn't even put together drop it like it's hot.

That fucking should have been a dead giveaway. Yeah, you know, I was going to watch it, but it was four minutes long and I was like, no. I'm not investing that kind of time into it.

He just turns his chair. Hey, let's talk about consent, fam. No one should be handling your package unless they want to, dog. Let's be real. If anything, it feels like Snoop

would make a video about how to get away with molesting a co-worker. Or murder or any number of things. All right. Here we go. Number four. Which of the following is not a Snoop Dogg other venture? A. Gave away 3,000 turkeys to homeless people in Inglewood in 2016.

Inglewood. B. Served as a member of the PTA in Long Beach, California. C, worked as an actual pimp from 2003 to 2004. Or D, hosted a basketball fundraiser called Hoops for Water in Flint, Michigan. B is real. Yeah. Yeah.

The fucking... I'm going to say A is not true, because I feel like that's something that you would think that he would maybe do, but I don't think he gave away that many turkeys. I got mine like 2,000, baby. If you have it, if not, cool. Can I ask for some background information on A?

Yeah. All I know is it was around Thanksgiving. And it was Some sort of drive That he coordinated To give away Turkeys to homeless people Okay two questions Were they jive turkeys

And was it a drive by Yes and yes I'm the worst Sorry You're garbage My guess is C My guess is also C Because

03 to 04 Seems like a weird time period For him to be a pimp Like he was already Snoop for a while Yeah Yeah You got doggy style money My guess is also C, because 03 to 04 seems like a weird time period for him to be a pimp. Like, he was already Snoop for a while. Yeah. You got doggy style money. It takes a while to blow through doggy style money. Not to mention the doggy style film series, Mike.

Yeah, I'm saying C. And you said? I said A. A, the correct answer is B, served as a member of the PTA in Long Beach, California. He did not do that. No way. Gave away those turkeys, and he worked as a pimp despite being super famous already. Why was he a pimp?

He was super famous and rich, and he just said, you know, time to try something new. Back to the streets. Well, that's like when Robert Shapiro... You've been sitting on that this whole time? Yeah, fuck you, Darren Carter, the party starter. You had a perfect Snoop Dogg impression in your back pocket. You just fucking kept it there. Well, no, I feel like it's like a Robert Shapiro thing because he'll go on the radio and do commercials for like, this is the legal service. If you're a Snoop Dogg escort, you're fucking commanding a high dollar.

That's true. I feel like he's got the branding. That's the Cadillac of pimps to have. What Trump does with his name to his products, Snoop does for the black community. Oh, yeah, you use the Weedmaps app. Do you use the fucking Snoop Weedmaps app? Do you use Doober? His fucking...

Yeah, that other thing he's actually starting? Doober. For the record, he said it was extremely easy and he was very good at it. Yeah, no, I remember reading that. I bet. Yeah. I can see people being pretty easy. I bet.

I bet. Boy, howdy. So pure of heart. He worked in Texas during spring break. Hey! Did you guys know a fun fact about Jeremiah? Boy howdy So pure of heart He worked in Texas during spring break Hey Did you guys know a fun fact about Jeremiah He can make the sleigh from the movie Elf Fly all on his own

Just with his smile He can look up at it He is literally wearing Christmas colors In the middle of June I am And Keith Carey is barefoot Yes, my house The old fucking Solomon Gruddy over here

Number five All real or all fake? A, got into a verbal altercation with Bill Bellamy at a rock and jock basketball game. B, received an honorary degree from Howard University. C, smoked weed in the Oval Office. And D, had an A&E travel show about smoking weed titled The High Road that lasted only two episodes. They gotta be all real. They're all real. He snuck a vape pen into the... I'm sure of that. I bet he did that and then

he bragged about it later. Yeah, I'm gonna say that as well. See? Or I'll feel real. That. What was B? B was received an honorary degree from Howard University. That one seems so real. I'm going to go with that because it's all real or all fake. Oh, yeah. Are they all real or are they all fake?

Frick. Just pure unadulterated anger coming from Jeremiah with the frick. Let's go all fake. Correct answer is all fake. Fuck. All fake. He smoked weed in the White House, but it was not in the Oval Office. He had is all fake. Fuck. All fake. He smoked weed in the White House, but it was not in the Oval Office. He had to sneak into a bathroom to do it.

Ah, shit. Come on, Snoop Dogg. Yeah. That's not the fucking brazen hero of the counterculture. I fucking... Counterculture? Counterculture. What am I talking about?

Deep pull on the Bill Bellamy reference. Thank you. That was what made me think they were all real. Rock and jock basketball was a big part of my childhood. Well, that's the way to think, Pat. That was a fucking fun one. That was one of my favorite ones we've ever done. Oh, thanks for having me, man.

Do we got some stuff in the mailbag? We do have a few questions for the boys here from our listeners. Let's start with the most important shit. What does Connor look like a disgraced politician and the gay escort he was photographed in a motel with? The answer to this, don't know next uh luigi l who did our new podcast artwork thank you very much for that ask what is your favorite tourist trap you've ever been to oh when we were moving across the country when you drive along i-10 there's billboards every like 50 miles for like a thousand miles until you get to the thing. What is the thing?

And they're like all over the desert where there's just isolation. And then we got to like New Mexico or something. And they're like, the thing, this exit. So we had to go to it. And we paid like $10. And it was just like a really shitty mummy in like a fake sarcophagus. And you just looked at it and you're like, all right, I guess that was the thing. And then the line was around the block.

Like people were just shelling out money to look at this shitty mummy. How about you, Tom? Or Keith, sorry. How dare you? Speaking of shitty mummies, tell us about your childhood. Where did you guys stop on a road trip? Nice try, asshole. That was a perfect segue.

Yeah, whatever. I don't know, man. I love that dinosaur truck stop in Cabazon. Yeah, that's a good one. That's like a famous one for my peewee and stuff. I used to go there a lot when I was a kid. Which, in retrospect, why was I driving in such weird places as a kid so much? It's probably because you didn't have a super great life.

Yeah, there's no good reason. Oh, the one from the peewee movie with the big-ass dinosaurs? Yeah. That's cool. I would go to that. I remember we went there once, and I was like a kid, and they ordered biscuits and gravy, and they gave me a biscuit and a bowl of gravy. And my thought was like, oh, this is just soup.

And apparently I ate the gravy like soup, and my mom hit me in the middle of a truck stop. And it turns out when you hit a kid at a truck stop, nothing really happens. Everything just stays fine. Somebody starts a slow clap. My next round's on me buddy uh you know there's also uh uh a dinosaur stop that we love to go into uh as kids it was like in colorado or arkansas and it was just like you could walk through like you know these fake dinosaurs and stuff like that and there's like a dino slide like on the back of a tail and stuff like that dinosaurs seem to pop up a lot yeah freeway bullshit yeah yeah i don't know why like

prehistoric stop right yeah okay exit 49a yeah um probably that also i i will take family to venice beach whenever they're here and that's like it's like the easiest best tourist trap to go to in california i feel like yeah it's a lot of shit to do a lot of walking around yeah um i'd probably go with uh either alien jerky on the way to las vegas because they have something where it says they have all the different kinds of jerky one of them is invisible jerky and it's just an empty bag and it's like ten dollars and i know that they sell some of those and i just respect their i just respect they're still moving those oh yeah, yeah? Yeah. Or the statue of

Phil Linnett from Thin Lizzy I went to in Dublin, Ireland. That was pretty sick. God, fuck you, Anthony. It's the only cool thing Irish people have

ever done. I'm not reading Ulysses. I'm not reading Ulysses. It's very long. All right. Do you guys listen to

the porn with the sound on or off? The hard-hitting questions from the Mean Boys listeners. This comes to us from the man who brought a handful of painkillers to our live show last month.

Oh, shit. I love this dude. I share a one-bedroom apartment with my wife, so the answer is on, but at a low volume. On, but headphones. On with headphones. Oh, headphones, really? Yeah, I get the beats by drag.

I got a full surround experience, man. I got noise cancellation. Well, you guys noticed when you walked in, I live behind a curtain, like Jambi the be the genie so fucking i just have one headphone in and then just one out in case somebody comes barging through yeah that would that would be my concern simulator between keith and john with the genie you also can't see keith's neck god damn it's a good time. Answer the question, Watkins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's with the big speakers getting blown away like the boat. Like the Maxwell guy.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I just did an act out on a podcast. Great idea, Con Man. It was a really good act out. It was great. It was totally worth it. Speaking of people that do act outs that don't translate well to podcasts. Sorry.

We haven't been mean to you the whole show, Jim. No, no, no. You guys have been gems. Okay. The whole middle segment wasn't me doing it. It wasn't me doing it. It was other people. I was afraid.

That's like a guns don't kill people, people kill people argument. I would say kind of similar to Pat's situation. Unless my lady is out of town, then it's just like, man, naked in the office chair. Let's do this. I think it's the fastest. I'm fucking sliding into my room with my socks on, like, you know, risky business. And finally, someone asked, what are some ways you guys like to prepare for roast battle?

I'll actually tweet this out. I make a whiteboard with a list of everything about the person. I got Keith's whiteboard up, so you got some fun facts about Keith's dispute across the board. And it's just, like, physical attributes, list of tragedies that have befallen them, you know, just, like, words that they make me think of. Yeah, there's some stuff on that board list of tragedies that have befallen them, you know, just like words that they make me think of. Yeah, there's some stuff on that board that I had

forgotten that I did. Oh, yeah. He was like, you got eight cake off a butt on there? And I was like, yeah, you know. I ate a cake off a butt one time. Every part of the Buffalo gang. Nice, dude. Freaking nice. It was a good cake and a fine butt. Jeremiah, I'm almost more interested in your answer because you guys just, we assemble our Party

City supplies. Yeah, what is the way of prep process? It really depends on... And nothing against the importance of the battles. I don't want to say other battles are more important. But it really depends on... Some of them are. Some of them are.

For the TV show, that's a very specific thing that we we have to like prep big time for that obviously so you had more time bits by him yeah which was different the second season we had to run all our bits by the director which i hated i absolutely hated it but they also shot us way better the second season than the first season. So it's kind of like, but we also got in trouble for some stuff because we still, even though they told us to tell them we didn't like, we did this one thing where I was dressed up as a magician and a top hat. And I pulled a live rabbit out of Jamar's butt. And like the crew rushed over to us, like as soon as we went like to cut for a

commercial break and they're like please tell me that wasn't a real rabbit and we're like of course it was a real rabbit and afterwards uh we ended up getting uh our only warning that we've ever gotten from comedy central sent to our lawyers because uh it's a PETA thing where you have to have an animal handler. And we're like, but we own it. They're like, it doesn't matter. You have to hire a specific animal handler. We own the animal. We're in danger.

I just love that an organization called the All Negro Wave has a legal team. Yeah, the law offices are fucking – don't know you get it i think for season three you should have to run all your bits by at fat sloppy tits on twitter whatever that guy's name was geese mom's not on twitter pat what do you do uh well my writing process is the same as you guys but uh i rehearse them like a hundred times the day of and i'm in a second floor apartment so depending on who i'm battling like the person below me spends a whole day just like being convinced like i every month it changes like oh now he's homophobic now he's transphobic now he's racist you know all right

well yeah that's all the questions that's the show for this week that was fun guys anyone have anything they'd like to plug pat barker's a new sports podcast on itunes yeah i do uh me and my friend aaron herzog have a new sports podcast called out? Yeah, I do. Me and my friend Aaron Herzog have a new sports podcast called Out of Their League where we debate what's more impressive, the on-field accomplishments or off-field. So like the first episode

is Wilt Chamberlain scoring 100 points in a game or Wilt Chamberlain fucking 20,000 women. We argue the finer points of which is better. So Out of Their League. Check it out.

Keith Carey. Follow me everywhere on that. Keith tells jokes. Tonight, this comes out. Come to the live Mean Boys at Harvell's in Long Beach. I will be... Or after that, if you're in LA and you're not in Long Beach because you're an

asshole, come see us judge roast battle at the comedy store. Oh yeah, that's right. Come to that. This weekend I'll be in San Diego. I'll be at the Madhouse Thursday. Twigs on Friday. The Anchor Bay Brewing Company, I think, on Saturday. Yeah, so come to those if you're in the San Diego area.

Follow me on social media at JeremiahStandUp. Hashtag nice boys. Nice boys. Amazing. All right, I have a shitload of dates to plug, so I'm sorry. June 7th, Albuquerque, New Mexico. June 9th and 10th, Springfield, Missouri. June 12th, Tulsa, Oklahoma. June 13th, Oklahoma City. June 14th, Albuquerque, New Mexico June 9th and 10th, Springfield, Missouri June 12th, Tulsa, Oklahoma June 13th, Oklahoma City

June 14th, Memphis, Tennessee June 16th and 17th, back in Springfield, Missouri June 20th, The Shrine in Oklahoma City June 21st, Paducah, Kentucky Apparently a place June 22nd through the 26th, I'll be in Indianapolis And then June 30th, Joplin, Missouri July 1st, Oklahoma City

Go on my website, Conxbatton.com for all the fucking details I would love to see some Mean Boys fans out in God's America I literally got dizzy and tired and bored while you were doing all that

I was just like I realize I haven't read these on the fucking podcast and I'm like why do I even have a podcast if I'm not trying to get people to come see me at Morty's Comedy Joint

Fair point I think that's the show you guys ready to sign off? Let's do it. Love everything. God is alive. Doesn't Connor look like he eats a lot of Bugles? I mean, yes.

He does with his fingers. Like every finger. One hand is the ranch, one's in one hand is the chocolatey caramel one. Yeah, the fucking bugle speedball that's so funny