Mean Boys - EP 79 - Unspeakable Juices (feat. Leah Kayajanian)

Episode Date: September 20, 2017

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, "Violence", “Is This Domain Name Taken?”, "Pictures of Spiderman", and a game of "Which of the Following" with Magic: The Gathering Cards by @IRollTwnties. Visit our new sponsor http://mybookie.ag for all your gambling needs! Use promo code "MEAN" when you add funds for an up to 100% price match. Buy the Comfort Ninja Inflatable Lounge Chair here: www.amazon.com/dp/B073Y4V36F Contribute to the Mean Boys wiki: mean-boys.wikia.com/wiki/Mean_Boys_Wiki Send us an email at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at [phone] We are proudly sponsored by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla California (www.eataburrito.com) Follow our guest Leah Kayajanian on Twitter: twitter.com/leahkayjay Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Follow Tom on Twitter: twitter.com/gossgoss6 Visit us on the web: www.meanboyspodcast.com Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Soundcloud: @meanboyspodcast Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-mon…tore/id515449028) Buy Keith’s album (itunes.apple.com/us/album/forever-nap/id1105182043) Podcast logo by Luis Galvez: twitter.com/luiagal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Hey, everybody. It's Connor and Keith from the Mean Boys Podcast. Yeah. How are you guys doing? Thanks for tuning in this week.

We've got a great show for you today with Leah Kay Ejanian. Joining us in the studio, a quick note to get out of the way, a couple of little technical difficulties where the recording stopped for a few minutes. So there will be a couple

of weird time skips. We'll address it in the show, but it's still a great episode. It still ended up, honestly, some of the way. A couple of little technical difficulties with the recording stopped for a few minutes. There will be a couple of weird time skips. We'll address it in the show, but it's still a great episode. Honestly, some of the time skips ended up being funnier than what we did before. We redid our first five jokes in the beginning, and we just had to react like we'd never heard them before. Bear with us on that. Leah was great. Follow her on all

the social medias and go see her. She's performing in a town near you. All that good stuff. Holy shit, you guys fucking flooded us with iTunes reviews as a 9-11 present last week. That was amazing. We got like 15 in one week. And I found out that we can see the reviews from other countries. So we got some pretty

good ones from Australia here. This one is from Evil Jedi Hamster. Shut up! I know, yeah. The Cards Against Humanity Fucking iTunes Yeah, exactly This one's from Ninja Monkey Pirate Yeah, this one is from

I was online in 2005 too There's a faint smell of boiled cabbage Every time I queue this up in my podcast app And my cat refuses to come down from the attic Whenever it's playing Only returning hours later And covered in unspeakable juices I don't know what you're doing

Or how it's this good But keep it up How is unspeakable juices Not one of our't know what you're doing or how it's this good, but keep it up. How is Unspeakable Juices not one of our episodes already? I think it is now, just because I'd probably be too lazy to go find an actual quote from the show to use. That is a new benchmark for our slot. So enjoy Episode 79, Unspeakable Juices. Also enjoy Don Carlos Taco Shop in La Jolla, California. The finest Mexican food that money can buy.

Visit eataborito.com for more information. Catering, vegetarian options, fucking black market gun deals, as we've discussed in past shows. It's on the secret menu down there. Yeah. Don Carlos hooks it up. We are also sponsored by the Comfort Ninja Inflatable Lounger. Super cool inflatable furniture. No external pump required.

You just scoop air in there with your goddamn hands like a savage. Yeah. It comes in a bunch of different fun colors. You inflate it the same way Keith eats peanut butter. It's just with his hands in the middle of the night. Yeah, just fist it into your hole at two in the morning. Yeah, exactly. You got it. Heck of a promo.

It comes in all kinds of colors. Yeah, all kinds of colors. You can take it out anywhere. Purple maybe. Inside, outside. Motherfucker goes in the water. Doubles as a pool toy. You can click the link in our show notes to pick it up. Use the promo code NINJA to get 20% off. And lounge like a ninja. Sure.

Why not? That could be a thing. Absolutely. Guys, thank you all for subscribing on Patreon. It's so cool to see the numbers keep going up and up. And you're going to be getting an extra episode this month. I know the show's going out a day late, but to be fair, we had to stay up late and talk about glenn danzig so yeah priorities you guys all understand so there's gonna be actually six episodes this month including

that bonus episode with uh you know the goods from the woods and this is rad so uh once we get to a thousand we're gonna be doing two extra ones every month and we want to do the show twice a week someday but right as of right now we just don't have the time yeah we frankly don't have the time to do it as much as we do but we love you more than we love being healthy in any way, shape, or form. Yeah, we don't have anything. Yeah, we are truly dying. But yeah, so do we have anything else? I think that's it.

Just if you like the show, tell your two friends if you haven't told them already. Stay woke, Australia. I don't know. Thanks. Love you guys. Here's the show. Hello, and welcome to the Mean Boys podcast. Health is just the delusion that death is avoidable.

I'm Tom Goss. I'm Connor McSpadden. I'm Keith Carey. And I'm a spam bot on parakeetsmeat.com. Oh, you done got catfished by one of them fake birds. He got birdfished. Have you guys seen Blunkfish? Dude, I watched a nature documentary last night.

Those things are fucking crazy. Stop learning new animal facts. You have way too many as it is. My favorite thing about this episode so far is just watching Tom physically with all his might try not to fuck up introducing the show for the first time. Welcome to the... Hey, everybody.

This is how I always talk. The Mean Boys Podcast. Hi, Leah. Hey. You having fun Hi, Leah. Hi. You having fun? Great time. Welcome. Thanks for joining us.

Leah, hot off the softball field. Yep. She's really good. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Tom. She's kind of the, I'm trying to think of a good, you know, like, she's kind of the Suge Knight of the LA comedy softball community, you know?

She just keeps, I mean, she might not be, you know, the most moral, but she keeps it all together. Keeps the records flying off the shelves. Why do you think I'm not moral? I don't know. I was struggling to find a better analogy. I can see you doing some evil Tanya Harding softball shit. Oh, shit. That's crazy. I can just see you going over, pulling out a switchblade, deflating a soccer ball so you can get the field.

Wait, we're talking about softball? Kids are in your way. Maybe they're playing kickball, and it's a kickball. No, it's a softball. No, there's a lot of options. No, it's a softball. I mean, you are for sure the only person who's ever been in this house who has ever done an athletic activity. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's very true.

Well, I'm saying in my alternate universe where you're trying to get kids to get out of your fucking softball field, you just psst. And you're like, hey, here's a kid catch and then flop. The biggest problem they had was dumb people walking their dogs. You still get those idiots with their fucking... Yeah. And then the arms like... Like families walking through. Yeah.

Fucking dipshits. Oh, I got a little story that I think will provide for some good Connor McSpadden making fun of fodder before we get going. Oh, I'm excited for this story. All right. I know. This is a good story and I'm still going to make it boring. Let's see which nowhere this goes to.

Which field in Pennsylvania does this crash into? Before you get a little warmed up, before we bomb with our jokes, a lot of people know the con man owes some money to the wrong people. Chase Bank, the federal government, my mom. I've been driving

the Postmates in my spare time and I was headlining that club in Arizona last week, which is why I missed the live show at Meltdown. I'm out like 3 in the morning, and I'm just like, okay, I'll just go back to my Airbnb at 5 o'clock. I got nothing to do. Get a call, go up to a hotel, and it's Chris D'Elia ordered the pizzas. A guy who I was on television with nine months ago. And he's like, what the fuck? Is that comedy? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, what the fuck? Who is that?

And I was like, yeah. And he's like, what are you doing here? I was like, well, I'm headlining a comedy club. It's a shittier one than you're doing downtown. Everything's going great. And he's like, do you live out here? And I was like, no. And he's like, you're just on the road doing Postmates?

And I was like, yeah. I was like, all right, well, enjoy your two pizzas at 3 a.m. You're like, can I leave now? Yeah, yeah. He left a very nice tip, though. So, I don't know. I thought that'd be funny just because it's about my terrible career. I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it. At least you headlined. You weren't the opener. Yeah, but I also gave people Chinese food. Yeah, you also gave a real comedian a pizza after your show. I know. It was so funny. They immediately were on TV with this man.

I opened for him for a whole weekend. And he I know, it was so funny. They immediately were on TV with this man. You know, I opened for him before, you know, for a whole weekend. And he's just like, oh, hey. You forgot the red pepper. When me and Connor were on the road up in Oregon, there was a comic who showed up who was just randomly in his van, and he did a guest spot.

And then we were driving out to the Midwest. He once again just popped up in New Mexico. And now he lives in his van in Orange County. I see him at my... He's just following us. He's just following us see him at Mike he's just not about you I fucking I plan on it being like he's following Tom yeah that guy is terrifying I like him he shows up at advantage is like hey remember me and I'm like alright everybody the mean boys are back after a rare round of technical difficulties we realized we cut right after that van story that kind of went nowhere.

We missed a lot of good stuff. And unfortunately, all our jokes were pretty good, which was kind of infuriating. Thank you, Connor. Let's all just run through them and act like we heard them for the first time. That could either be funny or go terribly. Well, at least the audience will get to hear them. They won't get to hear all the fun joy they brought us the first time.

I can bring it back to joy. No, you can't. Stop, Tom. Our stenographer actually took the day off. We're going to just read the script and go back and recreate it perfectly. All right. I'll take us away very organically. Nutmeg, the world's oldest cat, died at age 32.

No word yet on who will eat Leah's corpse when she dies alone. You sad old lady. Hey, speaking of cats. What? An African restaurant has been closed for serving cat meat to customers, disproving the age-old stereotype that black guys won't eat pussy. Oh, they do in that case. I'll tell you that right now.

Cha-cha, et cetera. In Baton Rouge, Louisiana, blood started seeping out of a funeral home and onto the roadway. A spokesman for the home said the incident was due to a blockage in a storage tank line and also all the murders. Girl, you're crazy for that one. Tom is having a seizure.

Here's the best part. We all know for a fact Tom's joke is dog shit. Retarded. And he has to read it again. Two things that are very hard for him, reading and joke writing. This is so fucking stupid. That's what I wanted to do.

I was like, look, this is going to be way better than if we're like, all right, sorry, we'll take it from the top. Let's get this momentum going again. Okay, Tom, knock him dead. Don't you dare do a different joke. Yeah, Tommy. The hurricane Harvey is the problem. No, no. Hurricane Harvey.

No. No. An 88-year-old man was convicted of beating his wife with a hammer, proving once again that senior citizens shouldn't be nailing each other. It's fucking boom. Much worse the second time. Because the first time, you know... God.

This is the dumbest first... I don't know. I lost it. We have two more repeats, and then we're actually back on track. Yeah, actually, what were some of these great in-the-moment riffs?

I said that Tom writes jokes like the back of a Reader's Digest. about that jonas brothers actor oh yeah yeah tom thought he referred to uh zach braff as that jonas brothers actor uh and then he was like oh but you know who i'm talking about and i was like literally nobody does and then we eventually reverse engineered zach afron i knew yeah yeah yeah Leah's very smart yeah you have the whatever the shining is for dim people yeah

like alright I guess I gotta do mine again yeah this sucks this is one of my favorite ones I've had in a long time an Indian doctor

was stabbed to death in Kansas his last words were in my country I was a super doctor don't act like you weren't excited to get to do the voice again

I can't I'm not good at Indian accent. That's not one of the ones I can do. Actor Zach Braff's face was illegally used to sell Ukrainian boner pills. The medication is called Harden State. Yeah. There we go. I'm starting to think we should do a run through of the jokes every week.

We're getting it so efficient this time. Yeah. There's no fat on this show. Right. There's a lot of fat on this show. Me and Dom are still here. Hey, that's my line. I'm faster than you.

All right. Jeffrey Sandusky, son of Jerry Sandusky, has pled guilty to 14 counts of child sexual abuse. When asked for comment, the elder Sandusky said, he was always a disappointment. Only 14? That's a good time over there. An 88-year-old man was convicted of beating his...

I'm sorry. I was debating just doing the same joke five more times. Okay. I'd sure like if you didn't. Billions of dollars of damage have been done by the hurricanes this year. President Trump will now be building a new wall from Florida to Texas to keep away illegal immigrants from Atlantis. Okay, Tom doing Bill Maher.

Let me tell you about these Republicans. The elephant guys. Mr. Stelio, Capital Gains or whatever. Anyway, they don't like the sea. The Dumbo leaders. Yeah, I got a lot of good mermaid friends. I met them on the inside. Yeah, they don't like the sea. The Dumbo leaders. Yeah, I got a lot of good mermaid friends.

I met them on the inside. Yeah, they don't like hydro-Mexicans or whatever. Hydro-Mexicans. New chic hydro-Mexican. All right, guys, the CIA is requesting... I don't know what that was. The CIA is requesting... Let me tell you something about the CIA, all right?

The globalists are trying. Liars! Pigs! The CIA is requesting the authority to independently conduct ground strikes in Afghanistan. And Defense Secretary Mattis said yes, but only if they keep their room clean for a whole month. Who's Bill Maher now? I know, yeah. That's between that one and a pretty shitty one about drag shows. So I decided to prioritize.

Well, I planned this. I was riding the wave after my Indian super doctor joke. You know? We just all were going to coast to fucking a safe parachute landing. Your wave crashed with the audio. That was a wave filed, too. Yeah, no, I'm all wavy. A London sewer is being clogged by 130 tons of congealed oil, sewage, and condoms that is being referred to as a fatberg. In related news, something, something, blah, blah, me, please stop tweeting me this joke.

I bet like five people would be like, you're the fatberg. Literally my next joke. I know. Nobody could CC me on this. My Google Alerts were... How did you miss the fatberg? I don't know. I guess I didn't have UPN for the three months it was on the air. The fat Alerts. How did you miss the Fatberg? I don't know. I guess I didn't have UPN for the three months it was on

the air. The Fatbergs. Isn't there a restaurant called that? Hubba Hubba Chubba. No, Fatberg. You're Fatburger, you dumb idiot. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot a syllable. I know you guys were syllable.

A berg is a large hunk of ice, and a burger is a large hunk of what your heart isn't very good at eating. I don't eat meat. Well, you did at one point, clearly. Yeah, for like two years. Consistently. Yeah, I'm sorry. All your arteries look like a slimy 405 freeway.

My cholesterol is terrific. Everything else is fucked. Okay. Leah, call Keith Fett. Well, I can't now. Yes, you can. Change it to Tom. A study by the Mayo Clinic found that adult

pet owners who sleep with their dogs in the bed may experience a slight decrease in sleep quality and a slight increase in the odds that they will accidentally fuck their dog. Like it's just going to slip. Well, that's what you say. Yeah, it's like, oh, no.

Here, boy. Oh, no, I was sleep fingering this dog. My cat, I have a scar on my dick from my cat. Have I told that on the podcast? Oh, my God. I don't think so. Yeah, when I was like five years old, the first night we brought Hobbs home,

male name, female cat. I was reading Bill Watterson comics. And she just jumps into bed and then just like claws outstretched like full mass of a three pound cat just like you know so i just have like a three little like you know like on it like i like like like the way a general's face would be you know like in an 80s action try grab yeah i'll tell a really embarrassing story that i've never told in the pockets when i was like like 14, I had a dog and I was right at peak bonerdom and I read something online

about the peanut butter thing and I was like, alright, well, I'm going to do this. I remember putting peanut butter on my dick and then just looking at my dog and my dog just looking at me and just kind of going, I see your game. And just walking away. So then I just had peanut butter on my dick and then I was like,

ah, now I gotta go wash peanut butter off my dick. I think a lot of people have done that. Did you wash it off or did you lick it off? I mean, if I had that kind of flexibility, I wouldn't have needed a dog. You know what I mean? Did he have a portal gun to get his head down there? Yeah, good lord. The amount of science.

Yeah. So I got friend-zoned by a dog. Have you ever told your other dog sex story on the show? Which one is that? Am I the only one who has not had sexual relations with an animal? I don't know if I've ever told that one. No, I haven't.

I don't think I have told that one on the show. Do you want to? Yeah, sure. I was dating a girl. It was a long time ago. So I fucked a gerbil. Sorry, go ahead.

And just to clarify because I've had people on Dated Sense be concerned. Doesn't Tom look like a really big gerbil? You do kind of look like a stern hamster. This is nobody involved

with the comedy scene. Nobody knows this person. But I was dating this girl and we were together for like a year and then she was like oh i have this like weird thing i'm into like you know it's like a sex thing like can we try and i'm like yeah sure like i'll you know i'll do anything once and she's like okay it's like a weird kind of porn i like and i'm like okay no problem so we start fucking and she like turns it on and i look and it's just like this lady in like a warehouse that just builds russian sadness there's this lonely concrete room just like bent over,

just track pants around the ankle. I'm like, nothing good is going to happen. And then the German shepherd walks into the frame and I'm like, wait, what are we doing? And then the dog starts fucking this lady. Guy gets over, puts a little peanut butter on the pussy. This dog did not need any peanut butter motivation.

This dog was ready to party. And the worst part of the whole thing is like, number one, I can't, I'm like fucking her from behind. Sorry, this is so gross. I'm fucking her from behind so I can't like look number one, I can't, I'm like, fucking her from behind. Sorry, this is so gross. I'm fucking her from behind so I can't like,

look away. I'm just like, oh, well, there it is. And then she's like, wants me to like, keep rhythm with the dog

and this dog is profoundly out fucking me. Like, this dog has skills. And I only did that like nine more times than I said never again.

Did you really do it nine times? We did it quite a few times. Oh, Keith. It was either that or just not have sex. And I really like having sex. It's one of these things where you get a burger and you're like, well, I am allergic to mayonnaise. True story.

I got into a compromise by just turning the audio off. Because I was like, if I don't have to hear it, that's fine. What did it sound like? You can get her a little. It sounded like a lady. It sounded pretty rough. Pretty rough? It sounded like a lady getting fucked by a dog.

All right, Tom, a pun. Oh, yeah. An 88-year-old dog. In a discussion over whether or not President Trump was a white supremacist, white supremacist, holy shit, news anchor Travis Hill defended the president by saying he believed in the First Amendment and boobs. The opposition had nothing to say, but they believe that all men are created equal and that their anacondas won't want don't want none unless you got bun son.

I fucked up like nine times. There's a lot wrong with that. Not the least of which is that you tend to not buns son, which is also gay. If you wrote that out on Facebook, there would be a read more button at the end of it. It was so much joke. Well, I thought it would be okay since we all just told 10-minute stories

about fucking dogs before. Oh, you got something more interesting than that, Tom? Yeah. No. Okay. What'd you ever watch a lady fuck? My mental health over? My concept of self,

is that funny? Alright. I got a little bomb karma built up here, so enjoy your just desserts, Tom. A new round of testing shows that the water in Flint, Michigan now meets federal standards. There's still no timetable on when it will pass federal standards for white people.

Yeah, you forget Flint's a thing still. All the news stories from when I started comedy, no one said, what happened to those Malaysian airplanes? What's going on with Ebola? What I'm getting at is you guys are just really indifferent to institutionalized aqua racism. We already discussed the hydro-Mexicans. The hydro-Mexicans. All right.

Leah is just like, oh, man, it's warming up in here, and I don't know if I have more dog fun. No, Mike, there's going to be ass prints on this seat, just so you guys know. The seat is made out of ass prints at this point. The $100 Patreon reward. Yeah, I was going to say, if any of you B-Boys fans want to buy the chair. Jesus. Don't tell me if they do, but give me a cut. All right, here we go.

A miniature pot-bellied pig was stolen from an Ohio couple. Authorities say they will not rest until the pig is returned, wee, wee, wee, all the way home. They don't all have to be fucking dogs. Oh, that was delightful. I enjoyed it. Sometimes they're cute. I enjoyed it.

All right, a recent study found that no matter how much you work out, sitting for long periods of time can result in early death, especially if you're sitting on knives. So stupid. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. It's really good. These are like Norm MacDonald anti-jokes.

Yeah. Killing it. Oh, this one's really bad. I think we're just used to each other's formulas. We've got to switch it up and do a little dog fucking version of joke writing. You know, a little weird, you know. Dozens of nurses were suspended and tried for lining up

to stare at a man's genitals who was under anesthesia. The man left the hospital and is recovering quickly after he had the only possible crime committed on him that could boost his self-esteem.

Wait, wait, hang on though. So these nurses were just lined up to see this? And they were just taking photos and videos of his dick.

Was it impressive? Was it like a hog? They wouldn't say, so I got to assume. Well, that's what I'm wondering. Was it just like a beast, or was it like gross and weird? Did it have like fucking flowers growing out of it? Like, oh, there's not supposed to be right angles taking place. It looks like that screensaver you used to have with the pipes that just go everywhere.

Like, honestly, if I... A hedgehog maze? How'd that get here? If I heard the dick described, I'd probably be like, you know what? No harm, no foul. Maybe they had medical students in there that's like, yeah, we don't get a lot of these in here. So this is what happens. No, it was people who worked at the hospital and they're like, hey, check this cock out.

And they all just lined up. But they couldn't get the information of whether it was huge or what. The one thing everybody wants to know. It was either really big or really little. Yeah. And the fact that they won't public. It was either really big or really little. Yeah. And the fact that they won't publicize it makes me believe

it's really little. Because I think if it was really big the guy would be like, Either way, they're not allowed to publish it. Yeah, I feel like

this is a lot of attention I probably wouldn't want. You know, like this guy's got a girlfriend and he's like, don't blow up my spot, alright? I'm trying to be...

Nah, if somebody made a news story that was like, breaking news, dude has huge dick, I would be all about that news story. Why do I imagine this as the photo for the article

that's going on my gravestone me in the sailor hat naked this is great for radio hey they have imagination a bunch of them also bought it it's our merch but we haven't shipped it yet sorry that's coming soon alright and finally

motel 6 will no longer share its guest list with ICE agents but we haven't shipped it yet. Sorry. Oh, oops. That's coming soon. Ships. All right, and finally, Motel 6 will no longer share its guest list with ICE agents, a point driven home by the end of its new company policy statement, I'm Tom Mo Dad, and we didn't see nothing. I said Mo Dad or something. Mo Dad, Mo Problems. Yeah, yeah. I thought you said ICEs at first.

I was like, wait, Motel 6 was doing that? Oh, yeah. I mean, you know. Mot. I was like, wait, Motel 6 was doing that? Oh, yeah. I mean, you know. Motel 6 does look kind of ISIS-y adjacent, you know? No. No, it don't. Go on. Yeah, show your work. Yeah, Tom.

I don't know. It's very, like, downtrodden. Like, I feel like ISIS could take over that area very easily. Like a one Motel 6? I would hope so. Are you talking about a particular one or just in general? Just most of the ones. Actually, they re-upped.

They've upped their gauge. Yeah, no, like the old one, that's like before ISIS, after ISIS. Yeah, Motel 6 now is like being at a crack house in the future. It's all very clean and wood. I think a roadway inn is what you're thinking. Oh, fuck. Tom did a gig that I did months later, and he's like, wait till you see this hotel. It's the nicest hotel I've ever stayed in.

It was a Motel 6, one of the worst lodging experiences I've ever felt. I was talking about the one in Arcata. Oh, the old one? Yeah. That shit was awesome. And that Motel 6 was the shit. Hang on. I flooded the bathroom of that hotel about eight minutes into being there. Well, Historic Hotel is just code

for shitty hotel. No, no, no. It looks like it's from The Shining and everything's real small. So even the bathtub. Yeah, the internet sucks, and I felt like Godzilla. It rules. Yeah, really what you want from a hotel after a long day of driving. Creepy hallways, a bed you don't fit in, a shower that's just made of fucking brass and hate.

Yeah, I enjoyed it. Yeah, no, at that Motel 6, they didn't have champagne. Also, how nice are the homeless people In that area They were pretty cool Yeah no I chilled with them a bunch They were real chill Alright

I should probably do a joke now A dog ate a bag of cracked cocaine And killed his owner While being filmed for the BBC The video of the event Is currently the only funny comedy That has ever aired on British television Oh come on

What about Fawlty Towers? Yeah, what about Monty Python's fucking squibbity-babbity parrot hour or whatever? Yeah, we've all pretended to like that one. Alright, a mysterious sea creature with fangs and no face washed up on Galveston Beach. Eel expert Kenneth Tai said it is most likely

a fang-toothed snake eel, which, he added, is a distant cousin to the one-eyed snake eel in his pants. That was awful and so loud. Penis swimmers. We have penis swimmers. Can I take a pass ever? No, no, Leah.

Oh, I would pass four out of five times if I could do that. You could have just not done the show. I'm going to just bring, find jokes and bring the hate out of them. I've got to turn Tom's mic down because it's legitimately giving me a headache. I can't hear anything. That's why I'm speaking. I had no idea. I would give Leo

a four out of five on the joke graph, which is higher than I think anyone has ever scored. Yeah. Or tied up in the rafters. But hang on, everybody, because Tom's about to

close his shop. I just like that she heard Eels and she's like, I don't know. This is happening in ten minutes. I'm on the freeway. Yeah. What if a dick?

Yeah. Portland is voting on passing an ordinance banning drag shows in the downtown area. The rights to the struggle has already been picked up by Hollywood for Footloose 2 The Untucking starring Thong Cruise, Nick Nauti, Denzel Watch These Buns, and Kevin's Not Spacey Enough Between the Legs to Dance. Tom, you want to watch me lose all faith in myself? I have the exact same... No, you haven't!

Yes, I do. A small town in Kentucky is trying to ban drag shows. The rights to the story have already been asked by a major motion picture company tentatively titled Size 12 Foot Loose. I like my better. Dead So Watch these puns! Yeah, Dead So Watch. I like my better I like you closer than Kevin Spacey The worst one that we've released in that sense You can't dance with thick thighs Have you seen yourself truffle shuffle

No it's for a drag show It's because he has a penis Stupid Oh my god You can tuck it The Mean Boys podcast I'll be right back. And we'll be replaying a game that gets lost. Loose foot, loose.

Pick up your Sunday shoes. All right, you bozos, listen up. The numbers are in and we're getting creamed by the post. One of you better have an idea to get our sales out of the toilet or you're all going to be shining shoes for a nickel by lunchtime. Boss, Brock says he's got a great story about a pizza place down in Brooklyn, making the world's biggest calzone. Eddie Brock couldn't dig up a decent scoop

if he gave him a shovel and a goddamn treasure map. The people don't want puffed pieces, they want pictures of Spider-Man. That wall-crawling vigilante is terrorizing the city. What do you have against Spider-Man, boss? He's a hero. Yeah, well, heroes don't sell papers. Boss, I think I've got what you're looking for Parker, I forgot you were even here

Let's have a look Got him stopping a bank robbery in the Bronx yesterday Webbed all 12 of the crooks up by the ankles And hung them up from a light post for the NYPD These are terrible, just awful Are you crazy? I've got a picture in here of me I mean, Spider-Man in the middle of a backflip This is great.

It's pretty impressive, Jonah. I think the kid's got something here. Every paper from here to Kalamazoo's got pictures of this animal swinging around the city like Tarzan. We need a real scoop. I want him robbing a liquor store. Or cheating on his girlfriend. Or slowly rubbing his crotch against the window of a pet store. That's not what the readers want from Spider-Man

Wait, what was that thing about the pet store? Parker! I've been in the news game since you were a twinkle in your daddy's gay eyes Now there's two rules of journalism Always check your sources And publish a full color spread of pictures of Spider-Man Drinking from a garden hose like a sloppy little boy And make sure his lips are so close to the nozzle you can taste it

But still far enough that you get the dribble of the water down his chin now that's how you sell a fucking newspaper jonah he's got a picture of spider-man fist fighting the green goblin on top of the empire state building whoop-de-doo robbie call me when he's got a picture of that no good webhead shirtless eating a sloppy joe and just letting the sauce go wherever chief i i'm just i'm just gonna say this feels like just like you have like maybe a weird sexual thing with the spider-man do i look like one of those stonewall nancy's do you parker i mean the mustache is a little gay that's enough out of you roberts i didn't bring you two in here to give me lip, unless it's Spider-Man's lip.

That's the ticket, a full-page shot of his wet, quivering upper lip wrapped around a popsicle. Yeah, eat that popsicle, you little radioactive whore. Uh, boss? Huh? Oh, sorry, sorry. I just... What are you two doing here? Get out of here, and don't come back without pictures! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. Pictures of Spider-Man doing gay shit. Oh, uh, boss? What do you two doing here? Get out of here and don't come back without pictures. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. Pictures of Spider-Man doing gay shit. Oh, boss? What do you want, Parker? Check your top drawer.

Jump in your hose of fat. Spider-Man farting on a cake. Parker, you're a genius. Parker! You're a menace, Spider-Man. I won't rest until you're brought to justice And I get to smell you from the inside Alright, the Mean Boys podcast is back Playing a game we haven't played in a while

One of my favorites, I don't know why it's been so long Guys, how about a little Is This Domain Name Taken? Is This Domain Name Taken? How about yeah? I just dropped in that theme song that somebody said. Fat butt shaking. Oh, yeah. We've been sent like five different ones.

They're all pretty bad. That one's probably my favorite, but I think we're going to put in this new one that someone did where it's like, I think it's like dial up and there's some kind of funky shit going on. I don't know. I'll look at it. Okay. But anyway, the name of the game is Rules of Game. I'm going to give you a domain name.

You've got to tell me if someone has snapped that up as per my thorough GoDaddy.com 20 minutes ago research. So let's get this going. Number one, littleboys.club. Already unhappy. What tone is this? Oh, that's mine. Oh. Littleboys.club?

Yeah. I mean. He's either got a club for little boys or he's clubbing little boys. Is everything spelled correctly? Like a baby seal? Oh, man. I should have done seals.club's always club for little boys. Is everything spelled correctly? Like a baby seal? Oh, man. I should have done seals.club. That would have been funny.

Is everything spelled correctly? Yes. It's not little B-O-I-Z.club. I feel like there's a chance this is something less sinister than it sounds like. It's like a tone-deaf mom. I'm saying it's taken. It's like an Oshkosh Pagosh Etsy situation. It's like, oh, we slide together, and then there's some douche in overalls.

What? What? I like some douche. You're referring to a fat, blonde, eight-year-old. Yeah. Oh, now I think. Yeah, some tiny asshole. In overalls.

You know, thinks he's hot shit because he can do fractions. I'm going to say, yeah, it's taken. All right, Tom Goss. I think it's taken. I agree. I think it's taken it's taken. All right, Tom Goss. I think it's taken. I agree. I think it's taken. Not taken. That's on the market today.

Don't buy that if you're a Mean Boys fan. We don't want to be connected to this. Speak for yourself. You can just redirect it to my website. That's great because they always tell you, well, when you're going on podcast radio, you should have a vanity domain. You can give out that's if you've got a hard-to-spell name,

like Leah's name or my name, and you're supposed to just, like, you know... Who can't spell your name? Well, I get Connor on an ER McFadden a lot. I rolled up to a casino gig with Keith and it was just like, Connor McFadden? I was like, close enough.

Even the picture of him on the flyer looked like, yeah. Well, yeah, and I find this, I'm standing in an elevator next to the poster, and someone's like, is that you? And I was like, eh, kind of. Allegedly. Can't they spell check before the poster?

I never understand that. Well, I look when people misspell it on Facebook as they're looking at your name. Yeah. Your name too pisses me off.

Yeah. It's just phonetically. Oh, I know. Anyway, number two, black dot attorney. Taken. A lot of black attorneys maybe dealing with black laws. Did you say attorneys? Attorneys. Taken. A lot of black attorneys, maybe dealing with black laws.

Did you say attorneys? Attorneys. Attorneys. Attorneys. Attorneys. Yeah, that's like a band. Eternal attorney. Black attorneys.

I don't know, something we're going to do eventually. I ran out of steam on that riff. Guys, let's pick it up here. Maybe do a fun Seinfeld lawyer thing, you know? Oh, yeah, like in the fake Cochran. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Julia Childs. That was good.

Thank you. All right, black attorney. I'm going to say no. I feel like anybody who's making a website about black lawyers specifically is using a different word. It's not a pro them. Okay, it could be like a Forrest Bias legal representation. Black people meet. I'm going to say it's taken.

Yeah. And black people are very proud of being black. And so, yeah, we're black and lawyers and you're black and you need a lawyer. Come to our website for a lawyer.

Internet's all about simplicity. Teach us more, Tom. Tom is aggressively wrong. That is not taken. Simplicity has nothing to do with it. I want that one then. You can't have your website be like, yeah, go to black.attorney.

Black.attorney got taken by the white man. That's amazing. This next one has been in the news a little bit lately. Juggalo.family. Is that snapped up? 100% yes. All right, Tom, your guess. I'm going to say no because I've just been wrong this whole time. All right, well, that's taken.

So Tom is continuing to. Oh, and three. I just want to point out that we are followed on Twitter by an account called The Real Juggalo Family. It has like 10,000 followers, so a hearty whoop whoop to all of you. Yeah, and I wore my Juggalo shirt to the Green Day show yesterday. Show a little solidarity for our boys in the front line. Yeah. I had a joke about that for the Joker.

Oh, yeah. Were they in D.C. on 9-11 or whatever? Yesterday. They were there yesterday. Oh, I thought they were going on 9-11. You know when 9-11 was. You were on this show. No, I know when 9-11 was.

Also on 9-11. Well, yeah, I'm not expecting him to own a calendar. I feel like he just has a series of tally marks on his wall. Yeah, it's four past when I started bleeding. Yeah, what date does Fourth of July fall on this year? He somehow turned a nice bedroom in the suburbs into Shawshank. Yeah, it's Tia's Giving. That's when the girl broke up

and then I got to go to the sad place. I thought they were meeting on 9-11 originally. No, I think that would be bad marketing. They're not good at marketing. I mean, they're great at marketing. We know what they are. No, I learned what they were pretty much when I started this podcast.

Oh, when you started it? When you went up to Van Nuys? No, when I started doing it. I know. I'm kidding. You know how if you're in a group of friends and you can't tell who's the annoying one, that means you're the annoying one? If you can't tell who the juggalo is, you are the juggalo. Okay.

You've made me listen to too many stained deep cuts to not be in juggalo. I made you listen to like two songs've made me listen To too many stained deep cuts To not be able to go up I made you listen To like two songs Yeah that's too many Yeah Alright guys

You went to a Green Day concert Yeah Green Day At least I know stained is shitty Green Day is a perfectly Acceptable band And we will fight about this On the bonus episode later Green Day is bitchy

I only went to tweet Shitty things about it What? I think Green Day is better Than stained Yeah Everything is better than stained They're equally. Everything's better than Stains. Equally shitty early 2000s.

Actual Stains are better than Stains. Yeah, Leah is currently playing both sides of this argument just to hope we forget she has a Foo Fighters tattoo. Oh, yeah, that's right. You're trash. I do like the Foo Fighters. I mean old school Foo Fighters. Yeah, you know, Monkey Ranch.

Yeah, Nirvana. Yeah. No way. All right, gang. Genocide.Solutions. Oh, my wrench. Yeah, Nirvana. No way. All right, gang. Genocide.solutions. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, fuck.

I forgot Leah was on the show today. No, you didn't. I wasn't thinking about it. Yeah, okay. I don't hate on me. And we forgot Steve Ranazese was in here the week before 9-11. We know what we're doing. I mean, it could be the solution to the genocide, which is like stop the genocide.

It's just a splash page that says don't do that. Or just be white. No, it just redirects you to the Amtrak website. I don't know why. Oh, because of the train. Yeah, that's why. Taken. Genocide.solutions.

Yeah. I think it's taken. I'm going to say not. It's taken. Wait, what is on genocide solution? A lot of these, it's just people buy the domain.

They get, they do cocaine and they're like, I'm going to start the best genocide, uh, website ever. And then like nothing happens. So genocide dot solutions is just, it, there's nothing.

There's no landing page. I was hoping it wasn't selling some sort of like weird gas. I don't think you can sell that on the internet. A lot of it wasn't selling some sort of weird gas. I don't think you can sell that on the internet. You can sell anything on the internet. Well, I mean, yeah, but that's good. Remember that part earlier where I watched a lady fuck a dog on the internet? I didn't have to look that hard.

That took me 45 seconds. You've got to get the Tor browser and the proxy server and shit. Yeah, people can't. You can't get that on the clear net. You can't buy demon gas shit on GoDaddy. You guys are talking a lot of violence, a lot of nerd, and I'm not a following either. All right, guys. Nerd.violence. Let's get into this.

In a similar theme, weapons.bargain. Taken. Oh, man. I'm going to say not taken. I'm going to say, if it is, keep Tom off of it. He has enough already. I'm going to say not taken. That is going to say, if it is, keep Tom off of it. He has enough already. I'm going to say not taken. That is not taken.

You're so good at this. Yeah. I just speak Connor. Yeah, that's the thing. Well, Keith has also played all these games more than anybody. All right, this next one might be a little tricky. Hell.church. Taken.

Tom's going taken. I want this to be real. It sounds real. Taken. Hell.church. Hell.church is a thing. Hell. Taken. Tom's going taken. I want this to be real. It sounds real. Taken. Hell.Church. Hell.Church is a thing. Hell.Church. I'm going to say not taken.

Hell.Church is taken. Damn it. Yeah. I don't know what we're going to do with our fan club marketing strategy now. We've had it all mapped out. Yeah. We've been talking for a while about possibly doing a tour of just satanic temples throughout the great United States.

Oh, my God. And Denny's. And Denny's. We're just looking at your Denny's tour thing. Yeah, we've been talking for a while about possibly doing a tour of just satanic temples throughout the great United States. And Denny's. And Denny's. I was just looking at your Denny's tour thing. Yeah, yeah. A tour. That couldn't be more perfect. Very loosely. But yeah, I mean, I just think it'd be funny to be like, all right, look, there's no Church of Satan in town.

We don't have time to start one. So what's going on with the banquet hall, Denny's? Come on. All right, the next one. Crime.singles. Ooh. Isn't that black people meet? Oh, no. Oh, crime.singles. Ooh. Isn't that black people meet? Oh, no.

Oh, shit. I've never been prouder of a joke. Ah, wow. I'm going to be all woke and say not taken. It's called D-Ray Cupid. What, Tom? Oh, I'm going to be all woke and say not taken. How does that make you woke?

I don't really understand that concept. Yeah, because I fell asleep for a minute. You don't understand woke? As a guy who is saying he probably had a headache because of sleep apnea, I feel like you should understand wokeness. Yeah, my head is banging right now. Good. Okay. That puts us all at ease. Leo, what do you

think about the convicted felon dating site? Okay, Tom. Not taken. Fuck you, Connor. Alright, crime.singles. Not taken. Alright, just a couple more here. Throw.rocks. I don't think it's taken.

I'm saying taken for the hope that it's taken. You know the most mad I've ever been at myself is when I went on and I was like, oh, man, if I could get the website jizz.biz, and it was like a million dollars. I should have thought of that. I should have. It was right fucking there. Jizz.biz. That's beautiful. That would have been the first.biz site that should have. It was right fucking there. Jizz.biz. That's beautiful.

That would have been the first.biz site that got sold. Oh, yeah, maybe. Jizzwiz.biz. Yeah, anything that rhymes with a bad word is going to be the first one to go. I'm going to say Throw Rocks is taken. Okay. Taken. Tom?

Taken. Throw Rocks is taken. Yay! It's a fan website for the Rube from the dollop. No. All right. One more than the final option. The final solution, as Tom would say, blood.recipes.

Isn't it taken or not taken? I bet this is some Twilight bullshit. Ooh, here's how you spice up your, you know, antisocial tween's 15th birthday. Yeah, I feel like maybe it's just like, you know, some dumpy occult housewife from Minnesota who's just like, I put fluids in the lasagna. I'm going to say taken. I think it's, yeah. I think it's like how to make blood for things.

So taken. Oh, yeah. That makes more sense. Oh, yeah. Like stage blood. Tom, you said taken. If everyone's saying taken, I'm going to go not taken. Not taken.

My man, Tom. Fight the power. Nope. Or the authority. Or the force. Fight the force. Nope. Or the authority. Or the force. Fight the force. Yeah, or your neighbor. Or whatever's in front of you.

Yeah, fight a wall. Or diabetes, probably. Or gravity. Or your own knee cartilage. Folks. Or maybe an animal, be it flying or otherwise. Flying fish. Or maybe a cop, but just about whether or not he actually

beat that Sudoku puzzle. Parole officer. You can fight a lot of stuff. Alright, the final one. How much is this domain name worth? It is available. NaziUSA.com. Uh-oh. How much is NaziUSA.com? Yeah, how much is... Who? Okay.

How much is... You heard Okay. How much is... You heard that thing where all the white power organizations are basically funded by this big, like, armored car robbery that happened in, like, the 90s? Yeah. That's fucking crazy. That's probably where Keith got a lot of his diapers, if we're being honest, going back. Where was that? I don't know.

It was, like, NorCal, I think. Or, like, Pacific Northwest somewhere. Yeah. Off-air conversation. Oh, shit. It's not as good as it sounds. Well, there's a couple of those. Oh, can I tell the one about Chuck?

I feel like the answer's no right now. What's up? Can I tell the... Oh, yeah. Connor was excited to find out that my step-grandma was in the Manson family, which I had never told anybody. Pretty stoked about that. Very briefly, she didn't kill anybody that I'm aware of. Again, both with Keith

and Tom, every three months they'll be like, oh yeah, you didn't know that I am the reason that you can't... You gotta go through a middle detector at the Natural History Museum. There's always a new one. One of my relatives found out how to make canned goods not toxic.

It was killing people for a while. Not as good as the Nazi family. No, no, no. Not at all. It's a fancy family. It's not a Nazi. I guess kind of the same thing. I'm going to say NaziUSA.com is worth $45,000. Alright, Leah. I don't know how much things are worth. It's always kind of a blank. I don't either. $100,000.

Humble brag. What are you, Mitt Romney over there? What's a gal in the middle cost? Five, six black people? Tom?. 100,000. Humble brag. What are you, Mitt Romney over there? What's the gal in the middle cost? Five, six black people? Tom? 250,000. It's $11.99. How do you not make it $14.88? That means it's right there.

You're at a flash sale. At that point, you'd be like, well, I guess I got to buy it. How am I going to stick it to the Zog machine if I'm using my blog spot? The Zog machine. That's what it should be. Zog spot. Oh, God. All right.

Well, we got to apologize to each other. We'll be right back after whatever happens here. Swoosh. Hey, everybody. It's Keith and Connor from the Mean Boys Podcast to talk to you about a brand new sponsor we have. That's right, guys. We're very excited to welcome on board MyBookie.ag. And what does that.ag stand for?

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And as you know, we recently passed 100 iTunes reviews, so I became an MMA expert. Yeah, as white people with a podcast, we are bound to get way too into MMA and then just slowly turn into human thumbs. Yeah, no, I'm just micro-dosing, you know, with, like, mushrooms that are, like, mixed with, like, animal skulls. Yeah, railing bone powder with Joe Rogan.

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why don't you? Yeah, this website is better than Wonder Woman is what we're getting at. Absolutely better than Wonder Woman, all right? Way less broads. Now, look, we would only recommend

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Suck it to me? Ladies and gentlemen, the Mean Boys podcast returns with a very exciting round of our favorite game, which of the following? Hey! Pop, pop, pop, pop. Okay. game, which of the following? Pop, pop, pop, pop. Sometimes I make loud noises, and I don't like it either.

Harrison Reed writes, you can follow him on Twitter, at I Roll 20s, but there's no E after the W? Shut up. Anyway, he says, Hi Connor and Keith, just discovered your podcast. It's not my new favorite thing. Have smashed out about 25 episodes in the last week. You can't even say listen. It's got to be a violent way to...

You smashed it out. Oh, yeah. Fucking... Yeah. I butt-fucked the back catalog. Dude, I raped all the fucking classics. El Meno, etc. I had an idea for which of the following...

Magic the Gathering cards. I've attached it here. Keep it up, guys. Cheers, Harrison. All right. He's actually probably not... He just said cheers, you know, so he's probably a polite guy or whatever. All right. So which of the following... Also, this is about Magic the Gathering. Yeah,'ve attached it here. Keep it up, guys. Cheers, Harrison. All right, he's actually probably not. He just said cheers, you know, so he's probably a polite guy or whatever.

All right, so which is the following? Also, this is about Magic the Gatherer. Yeah, you're aware of what? Yeah, it's crushing that. It's like Blackjack for virgins. I know what it is. Enough to play. So these are like, you know, things and, you know, some of them, they make them look like

you could fuck them, so you keep buying them and you jerk off to them and you put them in your folder in school and then, you know, the rest of them just look cool and you try to get all the points so that you feel better them and you jerk off to them and you put them in your folder in school and then the rest of them just look cool and you try to get all the points so that you feel better about, you know. You really slipped in some information about yourself in the middle of that.

I feel like he just wanted it. You know how we all masturbate to Magic the Gathering cards. No. I've never even masturbated to a Yu-Gi-Oh card. No one is more shocked than me. I don't believe you

if I'm being honest. All right. Well, you know what? I'm an open book, okay? I think this is the one lie you're telling me ever. Speaking of books, which of the following is not a real Magic the Gathering card? How does that relate? Doesn an open book. Okay? I think this is the one lie you're telling me, ever. Speaking of books, which of the following

is not a real magic to Gathering Card? How does that relate? Doesn't at all. Okay. Just gotta give you a taste of your own medicine, Tom. Wait, how are those things correlated?

Well, yeah, I guess I gotta go on a 20-minute fucking mental scavenger hunt to figure out what you meant by one of the Jonas Brother actors. Sorry, my brain moves quickly. You know what's funny?

Is he got meaner, so I think he really has jerked off in the Gathering off. Yeah. No. The energy's dying. I've got to bring the show back. All right, look.

Did you notice he laughed like a pig that got stabbed, too? No, he definitely did. He definitely has jerked off. All right, New Boys Fan Art Challenge. Draw a picture of Tom cucking me with Dark Magician Girl. That'll be very funny to a Yu-Gi-Oh fan. Not Tom, Keith, because I guess Tom's weird about people pooping on pictures of him. No, do me and Tom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spit roasting, I don't know, a fucking keyboard out for whatever the fuck Yu-Gi-Oh is. And Lee is filming it. Alright, so A, Slippery Bogle. B, Boggart Ram Gang. C, Skeeking Pie Grubfellows. Or D, Whirling Gurgle.

Which one did Connor jerk off to? Ooh, that's a nice whirling. I go to whirlinggurgles.lawyer. Whirling.gurgles. What was C? C was Skeeking Pie Grubfellows. Go on, C. Grubfellows Go on C Grubfellows Yeah

It's me and Tom's new podcast Yeah Tune into Grubfellows Yeah we just eat half sandwiches Out of the trash I'm the burger I'm the fries Welcome to Grubfellows

Nevermind Grubfellows is cancelled Yeah Grubfellows Welcome to Grubfellow Singular Oh I thought that was gonna go smoothier Movie directed by Martin Score food pun Grubfellow. Welcome to Grubfellow. Singular. Oh, I thought that was going to go smoothier.

Movie directed by Martin, score food pun. I'm furious at you, Tom. I'm going to say A. What a pickle. What was B again? B was Boggart Ram Gang. Boggart. I'm going to say B.

Which sounds like an English guy who hurts people. A lot of Boggarts in magic. D. It's D. A lot of Boggarts and magic. D. It's D. The answer is D. It's the whirling gurgle mesh that I fuck because I'm sad. All right? Is everyone?

Yeah. Are we all ready to go on to round number? Yeah. You're like, when I talk to my angry substitute teacher energy for the show. Yeah. Is everybody satisfied? All right. Round number two.

All right. Round number two. A. Wine of blood and iron. Okay. B. Star that has right. Round number two. A, Wine of Blood and Iron. Okay. B, Star That Has Fallen. Okay. C, Ishy Ishy Goblin Crackshot.

That's that song from Moulin Rouge, right? That sounds like a dance, like, you know, like Wii game where it's like, Ishy, ishy, I'm a troll. Or D, Puss Kami. Oh, Kami means like God in Japanese or whatever. So it's just the God of pus.

This isn't a Japanese game. Yeah, I know. I'm just saying maybe it's got like an oriental iconography in it or whatever. What was A? A was

Wine of Blood and Iron. And B? Tom does this every time. He just makes me reread every single one. No, I'm kidding. I'm going to go A. All right, Leah.

Can you read C again? Ishii, Ishii, Goblin, Crackshot. I think D. I'm going to go B. All right, the fake one. B, The Star That Has Fallen. Hell yeah. Yeah, I guess that's probably...

I think I had an Ishii, Goblin. The Star That Has Fallen was you delivering pizza to Crystalia. I was about to say that. I was painting that. Yeah. Hey, man. Goblin, Goblin, ishki, undateable. I love when you just are mad about something, but you don't really have the energy to put it all together. I'm starting to catch Tom's headache, which I think he transmits contagiously through audio waves.

He's the only person who can get someone sick just through your words. He also just leaned in and looked very powerfully at the microphone when he was about to say something and then just breathed. Tom, you look like you're very deliberately trying not to throw up. Thank you. Let's back through this so Tom doesn't die. All right. No, I'm slowing it down. I'm going on strike here.

A, Demir Drizit. That's a weird name, guys. You want to dissect that one a little bit? What strike here. A. Demir Drizit. That's a weird name, guys. You want to dissect that one a little bit? What does that sound like? Demir Drizit. I like the alliteration. It sounds like a thing that makes Tom sit here for a while. Demir Drizit.

He's going to be drizzling out some... Yeah, probably. I feel like he's going to somehow shit out barf, if that makes sense. Demir Drizit sounds like what you called the feeling you got after you got pegged. Demir Drizzt, he opens for Little Rel sometimes. In Demir Drizzt's home country, he was a super doctor. Hey. All right.

B. All right. I'll speed it up, Tom. You're good. Do you need water or anything? No, I'm okay. We're good. All right. B. So help me God, if you ask me to repeat

Demir Druze, I'm going to stab you with a gun. B. Gruul Nadarog. C. Drooling Grudeon. Or D. Helium Squirter. Drooling Grudeon. That's what I call Christy's show.

I'm going to say D. That was rude. Sorry, Christy. You're going to say D That's what I call Christy's show I'm going to say D That was rude Sorry Christy You're going to say D Who's Christy? The high voice gal From Rust Battle Jimmy Carr

Destroyer Oh the New York chick Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah A Alright guys A

It's A It's the mere drizzit Yeah Yeah And there it was You spent too much time on it You were happy with it. I actually didn't read it.

I didn't make this. This was made by... Oh, yeah. I always forget you don't actually make things. I haven't... Yeah, sometimes we make fun of Connor thinking he wrote, and then someone else does, and I get really mad at you for a very long time. Yeah, it happens a lot.

Once again, Callie, I'm sorry I made fun of your game. Oh, yeah. We should say that. And thank you. We'll do that very much. Okay, well, now we'll just derail the game. Thanks, Callie Velasquez. Thank you, we should say that. And thank you. We'll do that in the plot. Okay, well now we'll just derail the game. Thanks Callie Velasquez. Thank you, Callie. I had my gig in New Mexico. Brought us a gift basket, which was

incredibly sweet. And then said I looked grumpy, so just walked away and didn't talk to me. So she just gave us all this shit and she's like nah, you seem like you needed some alone time. Which is honestly the nicest thing a person can do for Connor is just accept that he does not want human interaction. Just give him trinkets and then leave. I'd love to chat if you, you know, if I, well then leave. I'd love to chat if you can just feed my ego

about knowing trivia about my podcast. But also, Callie's one of our longest fans, goes back forever. So thanks for all the cool shit. We got Tom some fun science projects for kids, which we are going to film him doing at some point. Yeah, we got a lot of puzzles for Jessica. That was very sweet.

So anyway, round number too many. Which of the following? Magic, Virgin Blackjack, callback, try to get momentum back up. A, jilt. B, turnt. C, bamboozle. D, dingus egg. Wait, turnt?

Yeah. Oh, Tom's got to drop a dingus egg. What is A and C? You have one job. You remember four words. Was it A and C? You have one job. Remember four words. And here's the thing. You're earnest every time you ask.

It's not a bit. I can tell that you're like, oh, fuck. I got too distracted by whatever a jilt was to remember that that was actually the one I asked you to repeat. A and C. A is jilt. C is bamboozle. Does anyone else feel like Tom just poops out tinier Toms? Like a Russian nesting doll And they poop out an even smaller Tom

This is the stocking up for the war The war on what? What are you going to Trojan horse? I feel like a bunch of little Toms Could be a really cool episode of the Twilight Zone Would you rather fight One Tom the size of a horse or 40 horses the size of Tom?

It's an old thing. Never mind. All right, I'm going to say turnt. All right, Tom. I'm going to say bamboozled. Okay, Lily. I'm going to say turnt, too. All right, the fake one is turnt.

Hell yeah. I swore that. It's a weird one to pick. All right, this guy did too many rounds, but thank you. Special Arabic racism edition Oh no That was my favorite If you ask me

He did just enough rounds To get in here A. Jihad B. Army of Allah C. Desert Storm Or D. Camel I love that this is Matching together

We have all these Mythological creatures Like goblins And elves and muslims. Oh, God. What was C again? C was bamboozle. No, I'm kidding. C was desert storm.

There's no way. I'm going to say camel. I think it's a trick. Okay. I'm going to say desert storm. I can't remember A and B, so I'm just going to say Camel I think it's a trick Okay I'm going to say Desert Storm I can't remember A and B So I'm just going to say B Alright It is C

Desert Storm Oh Yeah everyone knows That Gary Gygax Or whatever Hated Bush 41 Not even He made D&D

Let's flat We're almost done with this I'm sorry What language was it? All real or all fake. Thanks to the merciful love of the devil below. What was A? Here's the thing.

I genuinely don't know what happened because the show was going really well. And then somehow with this segment, we all just melted. Our brains all stopped working. I think we're all doing that thing where we're like, alright, I'm going to coast for a few minutes, get some steam back, they'll pick it up and everyone went out for a pack of smokes and did not come back. Let's really close it out strong.

Alright guys, we got a lot of energy. Dedipult, Dance of the Dead, Dripping Dead, and Vengeful Dead. Are those all real or all fake? All real. They're all real and I think I had all of those cards. Oh, did you play Magic? All real. They're all real, and I think I had all of those cards. Oh, did you play Magic? All real.

I did. I was in the Grand Prix. Oh, yeah. They're all real. Oh, that's the origin of one of the... There's like over a million. Really? Oh, true.

Because it's been going around since like the 80s. Yeah, this is the best Tom Goss out of context quote maybe ever, which is, Yeah, some of the best sleep of my life I got on the floor of the Anaheim Convention Center. It's not only narrowly by. The first time I saw Girls Gone Wild was in my hockey coach's attic. What's funny is I've heard that thing about you sleeping at the convention center, but I didn't think like, oh, you were at an event there. I just thought you were squatting at the Anaheim Convention Center during off hours.

It was, I think, round seven of the Anaheim Grand Prix. I got knocked out, and I was like, fuck it. I'm going to sleep. That's absolutely not what you're supposed to do. Yeah, you get knocked out. You're not a Pokemon. You don't need to wait until someone takes you to Nurse Joy to get you back. Oh, I thought you meant, like, literally knocked out.

No, no, no. No, because also, what do you do at that point? It's like, I'm going to go sleep off this concussion. Yeah, they told me we were playing street rules. The Anaheim Convention Center is real small. And there's a lot of spiders, and also it's a basement. Yeah, they just gave me an Uno deck and then a couple of coupons, and yeah, it didn't go well for me. He had a blue-green deck.

Jesus. All right, well, that's it for Witch of the Fog. We will be right back with the mailbag and plugs and all that good stuff right after this. Hey, everybody. I'm Maurice Hirschbaum of the accounting firm of Hirschbaum, Greenberg, third Jewish name, and Schwartz. I'm the Mean Boys podcast financial advisor, a position I work in pro bono. I mean, I'm supposed to be getting paid, but every check these schmucks writes bounces harder than Keith Carey's fat tits on a trampoline. I've been around

the block a time or two, but I got to tell you, I have never met more financially irresponsible people than the mean boys. I told that McSpadden kid he needs to diversify his portfolio, and he just called me an SJW and mumbled something about a Confederate flag. I asked Tom Goss for his bank statement, so he wrote 48 cents on a brick and threw it through my windshield. And then they got that creep Keith. I don't know what he's doing. The guy doesn't even have a bedroom with four walls, and he's asking me to get him a bank loan so he can replace the bathroom with something called a fat chick hot tub. I don't even know what that means.

Is it like a regular hot tub but just bigger? Is it like full of barbecue sauce? Does it include the fat chicks or is it just designed to entice them? Look, I could ask him, but honestly I don't want to know. The point is I need help helping these boys not die in a puddle of their own bad decisions. Contribute to the Mean Boys Patreon today to receive weekly bonus content,

merch, t-shirts, and even a chance to be on the show yourself. Go to patreon.com slash meanboys today to pledge your support. All right, I just got a text from Tom asking if he can buy all of the stock in birds. I have to try to figure out how to explain to him what any of those words mean. All right, go to patreon.com slash meanboys and help me fix these broken idiots. Sha-na-na-na-na-na mean, mean. Is life getting you down? Does every day feel like a burden?

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Violence. Weakness is a disease. We're the cure. And the Mean Boys podcast returns one more time to close out the show with some of your questions, your voicemails, your comments, and a little bit about what's going on with us. Guys, the first tweet comes to us today from Hendrick Pastanik, a Mean Boys early adopter. He asks, how was the Green Day concert? It was good We went and saw Green Day last night And basically it was just watching Connor Just lose his mind with rage At any element of positivity Billy Joe would start going on these rants And that's why these politicians

Are tearing us apart We don't need it man We just need each other It's about the music And I'd be like I'm just shitting rage And then I'd be like Oh hey Fucking when I come around You know I think the, I'm like just shitting rage and then I'd be like, oh hey,

fucking when I come around, you know? I think the highlight of the night for me is when he goes like, this is about freedom and we're like, we paid $40 to park.

Who wants a revolution brought to you by muscle milk at the Honda Rose Bowl? Yeah, I don't want to go away, that $40, not an exaggeration,

fuck the Rose Bowl. $40? Oh yeah, and we pull in and the guy's like, that'll be $40 and Keith goes, what? It used to in, and the guy's like, that'll be $40. And Keith goes, what? It used to be $20.

And he's like, yeah, bet you weren't expecting that. Just this surly Latino teen who's just like, fuck it, I know, right? And then Keith was just like, yeah, no, that totally sucks. Here you go. Fuck face. Well, because he's laughing at us. I'm like, I'll kill you. I will rip your fucking puberty mustache off your shitty face.

Yeah, but you know, they did Green Day. It was cool. It was fun. Worth it. Good time. My main takeaway was that I like Fat Mike a lot. I was just like, I would way rather be Fat Mike than Billy Joe Armstrong. Nothing wrong with being Billy Joe Armstrong, but I'm like, all right.

You've seen the Foo Fighters, right? Yeah. Because Green Day are like my Foo Fighters. Oh, okay. How many times have you seen them? Several. Like four. I thought you said seven. Oh, okay. How many times have you seen them? Several. Like four?

I thought you said seven. No, no. Although four is not that much different than seven. Last time I went there was a bunch of 15-year-olds, and I was like, okay, we're done here. Yeah, Dave Grohl kind of became a meme. And I feel like when you become a meme, you're just going to get a lot of people like, oh, yeah, Dave Grohl's awesome. He did that show with a cast. Yeah, we love the Foo Fighters.

I don't know any of these songs. Yeah, exactly. Eating pretzels and taking Instagram snapshots or whatever. Tom, we love the Foo Fighters. I don't know any of these songs. Yeah, exactly. Eating pretzels and taking Instagram snapshots or whatever. Tom, any thoughts on Green Day? Green Day's terrible. You like them, but they're terrible. They're not. They are.

I know so many just 12-year-old girls. That was all the... Yes, Tom, you're a lacrosse coach. No. It's different when Keith was in high school and when I was in high school. We were in high school at the same time. No, we weren't. I mean, it's part of it.

When did you graduate? How old are you? I'm 24. I'm 28. When did you graduate? I didn't graduate. When would you have graduated? I was supposed to be in high school when you started high school.

Like 06, I think? 06. Keith was doing Viking into Disneyland while we were in high school. 100% correct. My first year was 07. It was all just the fucking bitchiest fucking people.

The fans ruined it for me. I didn't like their music. A couple of their early songs I'm okay with. For the most part, I hate whiny early songs I'm okay with. Okay. Yeah. For the most part, I hate whiny bullshit. I'm a big fan of it. I know. You have no problem shitting on music that I liked when I was 11.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Why do you do a podcast with me? We are whiny bullshit in the show. You need a better friend, man. I'm not fulfilling your needs. I'd be like, yeah, I just need a big black dick and someone that's very secure in themselves and doesn't take down others. I'm like, well, I don't have either of those.

This next question comes to us from a buddy of the show and a former guest. Ron Swallow, if you guys could have a superpower, what would it be and why? Maybe one weird one and one serious one. That's a good question. I always go telekinesis because then you can fly. You lift yourself up in the air with the telekinesis to fly around. You can also move shit. I could just get fat and no one would fuck with me

i've always got mine first of all you can just get fat it's super easy you don't need a superpower uh second of all i've always got mind control but not in like a weird shitty way just so i can get people who are just mildly inconvenient to leave me alone okay you know i'm like that guy at the parking i would be like you know what this is 20 parking yeah not even free yeah you're not even going free no i just don't want to be ripped off. You aren't the chuds you're taking from. Yeah, I'm not trying to game the system. I'm going to use it to probably rob two banks and just be okay for a while.

And then the rest of the time. At no point does the Kim Jong-un factor into the equation. You're just like, what, I'm going to fly to Korea and deal with that? Yeah. It's a long flight. Well, yeah, and you'd have to pay for that because you have mind control. Yeah, it's true, but it's still a long flight. You could mind control. I guess I could smoke on the it's still a long flight. You can mind control a...

I guess I can smoke on the plane now, because I can get them to let me do that. I'll save the world if I can smoke on the plane. I can't suck down a nicotine lozenge for world peace. No, thank you. I'm going to need to trick... They're expensive, man. ...an entire cabin full of British Airways passengers. I really just have to trick one flight attendant.

I don't need the other passengers to be stoked on it. I think that you do it, but she's just like, yeah, I don't know why, but I'm letting it slide. Only he can smoke. Wait, wait, wait. A regular one? Yeah, sure. Flight.

Always flight. Okay, yeah. I feel like that means I'm noble somehow. You're not getting enough bird jokes is the point. Yeah, I mean, I got to really lean into that, right? Yeah, you don't want to just have everyone's on the news, and she's like, oh, well, Super Leia saved the Earth from an asteroid

with her powers of flight. Wonder how she got that one. Just every night forever. People in high school used to be like, you're like aerodynamic because of your nose. And I'd be like, cool? Yeah, I'm not...

That doesn't even make sense. I know. That's not how birds work. No, I know. Birds don't fly out of their beak. Your guidance counselor just goes like, look, I know you've got

a 4.0 GPA, but if you're considered a human cannonball, it's a career path for yourself. Tom, how about you? What power are you going with? I'll probably be able to speed up

and slow down time. Oh, yeah? I can move normal. power are you going with? I'll probably be able to speed up and slow down time. Oh, yeah? I can move normal. What are you doing with this one? Whatever I want. That's ultimate. Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to be getting in an argument with Tom,

and then he just goes, and then we're moving it like a million nanoseconds per hour or whatever, and then Tom just goes, he learns a bunch of shit, and then comes back, pops back into present time rate, and still gets it wrong. That's how that power works. Yeah, he does all that.

And then he goes back, he's like, wait, what was B again? He goes out, he's like, oh, yeah, I read the entire works of Shakespeare. I've committed them to memory, and I'll have you know, I was like, we were talking about Lord of the Rings. Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh. I think of a fun one. I feel like telekinesis would be pretty fun.

If you can't have fun with telekinesis, you have a shitty imagination. Yeah, well, yeah, telekinesis is just, I can move everything. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I could just like, I could look at someone on TV, like, you know, an evil type or whatever, and I can just go, and I'd disconnect their spinal column and then they'd just go, ooh.

You could have a lot of fun, like, taking a man's skeleton apart. Well, yeah, maybe if he's a bad man. You did the bare minimum to explain it's a bad guy. It's just a guy you don't like. I'm not going to do this to, like, you know, a fucking insert person. I don't really dislike a lot of people, Keith. That's the least true thing you've said since

not jerking off to the Yu-Gi-Oh card. Maybe be able to control bananas. Get the fuck out of here. You have complete dominion over bananas. You're bigger than them, all right? You could afford probably three to five of them. Your species knows how to peel them. They basically invented that shit.

They're an inanimate object. You're doing a funny one. I could be the Magneto of bananas. How fucking cool is that? Bananas! You could get a lot of people to slip. That way I get all the monkeys on my side. You can get other people to slip?

Yeah, tons of slipping. Okay, Derpy Kong. Alright, we got a couple here. Alright, some voicemails. Alright, let's see what this one is. Hi there, mean boys. This is Death to the Pills from Indiana. I was just calling.

I had been listening to your subscriber content and had a couple things to share. First, you guys were talking about the name Bumpus that you had heard on the road, I guess, while in Kentucky. Well, that's not the worst one. In the town I currently live, there is a clan, that's really the only way to describe it, of people with the last name of Phenis. P-H-E-N-I-S. Phenis.

The vast majority of whom live in trailers and are addicted to either methamphetamines or Oxycontin. But, of course, you know, if your last name is Phenis, I guess it's kind of what you've got to do in life, you know? The other thing, you guys were talking about school stories,

and I wanted to share real quick how I got expelled from high school my senior year. So I brought a gun. I was a senior, graduating early. I was graduating at 17, dating a freshman who was a little late on a freshman. She was 16. And unbeknownst to me, she was a little bit of an exhibitionist.

So one day while we were at school, she offered to give me a head at school. By the way, I like how he sounds like a stern dad. The student's like, well, then you need to look both ways when you're crossing the street. He's the most articulate person who's ever called in.

Yeah, I love this guy. It's shocking. I'm waiting for him to be like, show me your butthole. I've had a lot of, yeah, this dude's my favorite. While we were waiting for the bus, the school was under construction. There was an unused stairwell, like, hidden off to the side. Nobody really went down anymore. I said to her you know

like hey uh we could get caught she said to me yeah that's what makes it so much fun and of course we did get caught and i was blamed because you know i was a big bad one year older person and i got expelled a little bit of that dove, even though it was her idea. So that's how I got expelled from high school. Did he marry her? So aside from that one really cool story, I was pretty much a Dungeons & Dragons playing loser throughout all of high school. But anyway, just was listening to your bonus content stuff and was reminded of those things and thought I'd share.

Keep up the good work, guys. Take care. Yeah, I also love this guy. What a normal guy to call in. This guy jumped in. No, hold up. This guy jumped in on my Facebook status. He's like, yeah, my wife lets me fuck dudes all the time.

I don't get what the big deal is. Oh, man, congratulations to the happiest man in the world. No, he more or less mansplained throat fucking to people on my thread. No, I was just like, this guy rules. That was the only thing you were like. Oh, wait, no, he did that on one of my threads, too. Oh, he did? Okay, I was just like, this guy rules. That was the only thing you were like. Oh, wait, no, he did that on one of my threads, too.

Oh, he did? Okay, maybe that was what I was thinking of. Yeah. The same thing? Throat fucking? Yeah, it was on that thing about me making Dan Nolan

suck my dick. Oh, okay, okay. Which, by the way, yeah, I posted a status that said if I got 100 likes, Dan Nolan. Hey, the Mean Boys here. We just had another audio skip.

God damn it. This is all going to be figured out by the show. What sucks about it is this is like one of the best episodes we've done in a while. And then it's also cursed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm a witch. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you got it. Yeah, we keep losing this amazing shit, you know. So, all right, we're going to jump back

to this voicemail for Leah. We've already listened to most of it. Having a positive. An 88-year-old man was convicted. Hurricane Harvey. All right.

Hey, mean boys. Calling in for Leah Kajanian. And I wanted to ask a question for your mailbag. Here we go. Leah, you compared to a guy a lot in roast battles. People say you're very manly. You had a pretty good comeback against Connor. How stark do you think you get to listen to this again?

So I guess my question is, if you were a dude and you had a dick, who would be the B-list celebrity female that you would have sex with? And male, if you want to answer that, too, if you decided you were a gay male. All right. Thanks, bye. Or I could just be a woman that fucks a woman also.

Yeah, or she could get a strap on. Who would I fuck is your question? You guys really just like, I'm just thinking about you having a dick. Like, whatever you say is irrelevant. Exactly. It's all dependent on me having a dick. Well, no, I really think this guy was just like, oh, baby, this will be funny. I'm just thinking about you having a dick. Whatever you say is irrelevant. It's all dependent on me having a dick. I really think this guy was just like,

oh, baby, this will be funny. Okay, so if you had a dick, if you had a wiener boner, who would you put it at? Why B-List? I don't know why this audience never grows because as soon as people feel connected enough to the show to leave a voicemail, we just trash it the entire time.

I know, B-List is such a weird specification. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what that is. That's really an insult to Jeff Ross. Thank you. All right. And I think he'd be lucky to be fucked by a trans cast member of his, you know, probably at least a high-profile project in years.

What? I'm going to go with Venus and Serena Williams. Okay. Or like athletes. Same time or like separately and then pit them against each other? Oh, okay. Cool. And then pit them against each other Oh okay cool And then pit them

Against each other Oh nice Family reunion Yeah yeah Dude I wonder I feel like they get Competitive while they're Guess my ex isn't

The only one Of fucking dogs I feel like a Venus And Serena Were like trying to Get each other off Like in a lesbian fashion I feel like they

Get competitive Like I'm not coming You're coming Alright mom loves me more Fuck you You know Fucking we have 40. You're coming. Mom loves me more. Fuck you. We have 40 love. You're fucking twat.

Fuck this computer. The funniest thing is you were so committed to your under the table finger bang act out. I thought it was going to bring something out of us. I'm watching Connor's Mohawk learn how to frown. We keep losing the best shit. We had a great email from Gainesville, Florida. We're still doing good. This is still fun. We don't have to talk about how bad it is. We keep losing the best shit. We had a great email from Gainesville, Florida. Hey, we're still doing good.

This is still fun. We don't have to talk about how bad it is. We can finish it out. Now this is like when you're over at your friend's house for a sleepover and then mom and dad start fighting. And it's like, alright, well maybe we can just get more Teddy Grahams from the store tomorrow because Parker didn't know. And it's like, well maybe something's got to go in his fucking

lunch tomorrow or he's going to get low blood sugar and then hit another kid and then we're going to have to fucking pay for private school even though that's what he wanted to do to begin with. I'm not even Catholic, Aaron. Well, maybe you could have taken the pill and then Parker wouldn't be a problem anymore. We're here. We're dealing with it. Maybe you could have gotten your shift cover at the 24-hour photo place. Why does it need to be open that late?

And then could you have driven me to the fucking Rite Aid, Sharon? What the fuck are you guys talking about? Well, we don't do improv because when we do, that happens, but I don't know. That's the show. Was that really it? Yeah, that was all the voices. Leah, thank you for coming. Sorry the computer's cursed.

Where can they find you online? You can find me on Twitter, at Leah KJ. Also on Instagram. She's also a karaoke DJ. You were so excited about that terrible joke. Oh, whatever. And myname.com is my website. Nice.

Wait, is that... Did you really get like a... Did you get the funny domain? Where it's just myname.com? Oh, no. It's literally leahkajanian.com. If you say it backwards, she has to return to her home dimension.

So that's pretty cool. Please don't say it three times. We did, and now she's on the show. Or then she's going to have a dick. And have to fuck B-Listle Juice. You could fuck someone in the top. I know. What does that mean?

With a 1,000 plus star ranker on IMDb. You could fuck somebody who was famous like four years ago. Thank you. That's the nicest thing anybody has ever said. Like a Jason Sudeikis. I think you can get a drunk Johnny Galecki. I'll go even higher. He's just like stroking your ears like,

yeah, no, I really liked dinosaurs when I was a kid. Oh my God. If you want to see me doing stand-ups this week, Keith and myself will be at the live Unpopular Opinion show at the Alex Theater in Glendale on Tuesday, the night this comes out. Wait, no, we won't. We'll be doing the live Mean Boys. We'll be doing that the day after.

I will just be at the live Mean Boys. I will be there. David Strauss, Tuesday, December 19th, live for Mean Boys at Harvell's in Long Beach. Wednesday, the Unpops live show in Glendale. Me and Connor will be on that. Friday, I'll be at Unnecessary Evil at the Westside Comedy Theater. Friday, my Chase Bank

payment is due. It's $144. There we go. I'm at some place called Katsuya on Thursday. That's a restaurant. Yeah, figure that one out. Alright, guys. Let's do it. Fuck everything. We closed the show i said what everything god is dead

yeah yeah so i'll do a fuck everything god is dead we're keeping this yeah all right fuck everything god is dead also i'll be at the harp.