Mean Boys - EP 89 - Now Is Not The Time: Thanks God For Dance (feat. Ramsey Badawi, Paige Weldon & Opey)

Episode Date: November 14, 2017

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week Ramsey Badawi takes over the show to bring us an edition of Now Is Not The Time. Get tickets for Now Is Not The Time Live at Harvelle's In Long Beach 1/2 at 8:30pm: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/now-is-not-the-time-live-w-ramsey-badawi-at-harvelles-in-long-beach-tickets-39863786659 Get the new Misfits t-shirt and all our past designs on our new Tee Public page: www.teepublic.com/user/meanboyspodcast Shop Sudio headphones and use promo code "MEANBOYS15" for 15% off all purchases: goo.gl/JWBAJK Contribute to the Mean Boys wiki: mean-boys.wikia.com/wiki/Mean_Boys_Wiki Send us an email at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at [phone] We are proudly sponsored by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla California (www.eataburrito.com) Follow our guest Ramsey Badawi on Twitter: http://twitter.com/ramsbad Follow our guest Paige Weldon on Twitter: http://twitter.com/paigeweldon Follow our guest Ope on Twitter: http://twitter.com/swankyope Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Follow Tom on Twitter: twitter.com/gossgoss6 Visit us on the web: www.meanboyspodcast.com Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Soundcloud: @meanboyspodcast Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-mon…tore/id515449028) Buy Keith’s album (itunes.apple.com/us/album/forever-nap/id1105182043) Podcast logo by Luis Galvez: twitter.com/luiagal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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From football to basketball and hockey to baseball, whatever the moment, it's never ordinary at Bet365. Must be 19 or older, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Hey, everybody. It's Connor, Keith, Ramsey, Paige, and Opie from the Mean Boys Podcast. Yo!

Hi. What's up, everyone? We've got an extra special edition for you today. Ramsey, tell us what we're doing a little bit here. We're doing another segment of your guys' favorite segment. Motherfucker, both times you had to set up this show, you failed. I'm a good broadcaster. I do radio good

We're doing another Another Now is Not the Time for you guys And this turned into Such a long thing It's its own fucking episode Yeah we thought this was going to be a segment In this week's episode It fucking exploded

And it's insane Every single time I do the show This is what happens Oh for sure Yeah well at Harveld's It ended up being a 20 minute epic With dick pictures And everything

And dick picture warnings. Dick pictures. Oh, yeah, dick pictures. Dick pictures is his dad's detective name. That makes sense. Yeah, that's a call forward. So please enjoy this very much. The Meat Boyz Podcast is brought to you by Don Carlos Taco Shop in La Jolla, California.

That's right, folks. The finest Mexican food. Mexican? Yeah, fucking burritos and shit. I'm supposed to be caught in Ramsey-itis. Yeah, I did, yeah. But the finest in La Jolla, California. Fuck, now I did, yeah. But the finest in La Jolla, California. Fuck, now I'm doing it.

The finest tacos in La Jolla, California. Go to eataburritos.com. Folks. Folks. That's how you know he's good. They got catering options available, dude. I'm going to San Diego tomorrow. Can I stop by there?

You absolutely can. Yeah. And when you tell them that you're from the Mean Boys, the guy that works there that doesn't know what this is will be like, what? Okay. Pay for your food be like, what? Okay. Pay for your food. Also, by Studio Headphones.

Studio Headphones, the finest in Sweden. Mexican food that you can buy in Sweden for your ears. It's so good, it's like Mexican food for your ears, ladies and gentlemen. We're wearing the Regents. Those are the premium on-ear model. They got Bluetooth capability. How long is that motherfucking battery life, Keith? It's insane.

It lasts forever. It goes for a week. It hasn't died yet. Also, and if you're a Luddite like me and you don't like Bluetooth capability. How long is that motherfucking battery life, Keith? It's insane. It lasts forever. It goes into it for a week. It hasn't died yet. Also, and if you're a Luddite like me and you don't like Bluetooth, they got this cord that goes with them that doesn't fucking tangle.

You don't lose audio quality. It doesn't get the little sounds. It's a fucking great cord. I love it. They're comfortable. They're stylish. How good, Paige?

Even I look kind of cool in these headphones. Am I wrong? They do look good. Yeah. All right. On screen, Ramsey just translated Mean Boys to Chicos Malos. I'll go in like, hey, it's Chicos Malos.

Yeah, the podcast. That's the gang that killed his brother? By the headphones. The Taco Monster by the headphones. Get Taco Monster out of here right now. Okay, goodbye. Paige is bleeding, actually. I don't know if you guys can

see that super long time but yeah but if like if i put them on you they'd look cool because you're like a cool person but me it's just get it fucking get them mean boys 15 is the promo code yeah get yourself a discount give us a little bit of kickback uh and listen like a ninja uh yeah fuck yeah uh we actually just got a brand new itunes review i'm gonna pull up right now uh if you'd like to fucking leave us a review on itunes you should do that uh while i get that one up because it is a good one keep telling me about the patreon yeah go to meanboys.com or no patreon.com slash mean boys uh donate uh get yourself access to some all new audio bonus content every week uh also you can get yourself some mean boys swag this month we got the sticker pack going out uh just the

keychains last month we got the saint chad yeah. Yeah, we got the St. Chad sticker, the Space Godzilla. He got Zillas in space and also the Misfits logo. Yeah. And yeah, you can win a bunch of cool stuff. You can even get a chance to be on the show. I translated Patreon to Spanish. It's Patreon. Patreon.

Patreon. It's Patreon, amigos. Yeah, and we're 75% of the way to our next goal. And when we hit that, motherfucker, we're going to be doing two extra shows a month We want to do the show twice a week at some point But we're dying financially and physically So please, anything you can give helps And also, the iTunes review comes to us

It says, Classy Degenerates from CallMeSergio He writes, if 4chan was a podcast But they did everything they could to keep the alt-right stuff to a minimum I like that that implies that they did everything they could. It's still not entirely working. Also, come to the live. Now is not the time. January 2nd at Harvell's.

I made an event, right? If you want to get on the free guest list, I'll have a link to that in the show notes. Fucking come see this whole fucking crazy show live. God knows what'll have happened at that point. And Ramsey will have so much more time to create fake identities and troll foreigners on Craigslist.

So if you don't want to see that, frankly, stop listening to my podcast. Thank God for Dance translates to Gracias. Adios por Belar. Gracias a Dios por Belar. Well, thanks, God, for this episode. I think we're ready to kick this thing off, right? Yeah, fuck yeah. Ramsey, thank you for putting this

together. This was beautiful. Thanks to Ramsey and Paige for joining us. I know. Yeah, fuck, I've seen footage. This is the intro music. I think we're doing a bunch of tags for a podcast people have not heard yet. They're gonna go and say, enjoy this week's episode. Thanks, God, for dance. This is, uh,

now is not the time for that. I can't. Uh, and the Mean Boys are back, uh, with a special edition of Now Is Not The Time from Ramsey Badawi. We'll have more with JP in a moment. Ramsey, how about you tell us a little bit about what you've got. First of all, we should also probably let people know we've got Paige Weldon and Opie sitting in with us for this one as well. Hey.

Yo, yo, yo. Yo, what's up, guys? How's it going? Good to see you. Good to talk to you. Good to talk to the Mean Boys again. Can you do me a favor and say good to talk three more times?

You know what I thought, Rams? I thought Rams is trying to stall for time while he thinks of a slam, but you're just being bad at broadcasting. I'm a great broadcaster, and you know it. I do, but not in that instance you weren't. A really hurtful thing to say to Rams. Thank you. I knew it was hurtful because Rams loves nothing if not broadcasting. Broadcasting is

what I live for. Pop punk and AM radio. For a man who broadcasts once every seven months. I live for this. We should say there's a special promotional edition of Now's the Time for Ramsey's live show coming to Harv Ells and Long Beach, our old haunt for the live meme boys. January 2nd. January 2nd. Come.

You should come out. Keith and I think we'll be there. Ramsey's got some shit planned that is absolutely out of this world for as much as we like to talk crap about him. January 2nd. January 2nd. Come. You should come out. Keith and I think we'll be there. He's got some shit planned that is absolutely out of this world for as much as we like to talk crap about him. So it's going to be a tremendous night. Mean Boys, save the date. It'll be fun. Please come.

We'll do more of this. Yeah. And do you want to, Freddie, because we've got some newer listeners, do you want to kind of explain what Now Is Not The Time is? Now Is Not The Time, folks, is a segment that I came up with where I highlight the best of the absolute worst that is posted online in the wake of a tragedy. You know, sometimes it's malicious. Sometimes it's just bad timing. Yeah. And what's funny is when we started doing this segment,

every time a tragedy would happen, every month or two, they'd be like, oh, you've got to do it now. It's not the time. Now it's just like people don't, you can't keep up. Yeah.

Now I can do a full show every week. You could. That's the plan. You could do this daily, my friend. I really can. We had a fun week this week. There was an earthquake in Iran. Here's the first post that I found that I thought was fun.

This was posted by ZSA Mortgages. It says, our hearts and thoughts and prayers are with all of those who are effected, that's the wrong one, by the devastation of the earthquake. Here's why I think this is funny

because, I don't know, there's something funny to me about a mortgage company posting immediately after everybody lost their homes. Like it would be

the equivalent of Chase Bank posting after like a fight, like an economy collapses, you know equivalent of Chase Bank posting after an economy collapses. Like Chase Bank posting the following. Sorry about the collapse of the Belarusian RuPaul. Our hearts are with all of the people who don't have money anymore. 2.48 p.m. May 6, 2015. Shout out to the Belarusian people.

The Belarusian Ruble is the funniest of all currencies available. Yeah. Home Depot wishes a speedy recovery to Puerto Rico. Exactly. Have you guys seen any of the posts for the earthquake?

No. I haven't seen much about the earthquake. It kind of got buried in other stuff. In the rubble of the earthquake. What's up? In the rubble of the earthquake? I haven't seen much about the earthquake. It kind of got buried in other stuff. In the rubble of the earthquake. In the rubble of the earthquake, yeah. I was going to say rape week, but I was like, that sounds harsh. More of a rape month. Rape.

I've been... By the way, the Discovery Channel dropped the ball on that one. I don't know if you're going to cover that at all, but I feel like it bears addressing. It is a big part of nature. Sure. Paige Weldon narrates Planet Earth. Oh, no. Again?

Yikes. I know you've got to make more hippos, but geez, dude. That ape looks so sad. Let's get her wet first. So as you guys can ascertain, I've been spending the last 24 hours searching through Twitter,

and there are a lot of meme things that are being said about Muslim people right now. Here's one from Quinn Dexter who wrote, yay, earthquake in Iran and Iraq. Lots of Muslims gone, I hope. Less migrants and terrorists. Equal sign D. That's not even a proper emoji. It's not even right. People are just posting, our prayers go out to the people of Iraq and Iran, especially the children, but I will

not contribute my offering of a donation to the people of Iran unless they stop the hatred of America. And it's just like, it goes on and on and on, and these people will not... Wow. Wow.

Gravel Monk sounds like it would be like a really shitty 1990s cartoon. No, that's a Wu-Tang song that got cut from Wu-Tang Forever. This is a tweet from AtRamsBad. I wonder who that could be. What does that say again? I thought that was real. I didn't even see who wrote it. It says, hell yeah, go earthquake, get those gravel monks.

Here's how you know Rams is a great employee. He spends most of his time making Facebook status that Opie posts and then texting them to me. Just to cut that in. Yeah, yeah. I spend all my time incriminating people I know. Gravel monk sounds like a low-level D&D class. It does. Oh, yeah.

Dude, that's like your first quest. I got some gravel monks in the background. Working away at a concrete paladin. I'll give you a couple bronze. This is upsetting to me. I like it. Look, you know what's funny? Paige comes over and wants to go to bed.

Come on, do this radio show. We have to talk about D&D right now. The funny thing is I didn't even use a fake Twitter generator. I tweeted this and then deleted it. This was live for a few moments. This screenshot is on many people's phones. Did you see what?

Alex Hanna scrolled through this and I was like, what? He texted it to Noah Finling. He was like, did you see this? Yeah, no, one time I tweeted something and I deleted it after because I decided it wasn't funny. Ramsey screencaps it, DMs me, give me $10,000 or your career gets it. Just the kind of good friend we're dealing with here.

Next tweet. We have Azerbaijan offers assistance to Iran after earthquake. Iranian envoy. I thought that this was unnecessary. To hashtag assistance? It's all the assistance, but mainly, I just don't care what the second

Harry Potter movie has to say. Oh, boy. About the earthquake. I don't care. That was for two people. I've never seen a Harry Potter movie. It's also the third one. I was like, it's actually the third. I've never seen a Harry Potter movie, but me and Paige are talking about this recently

how much we hate when people do Harry Potter bits because everyone's been about there's no new take everyone's bit is always like I agree they're always like oh I was reading Harry Potter you ever notice that the snickerpooks they're black people wait what take are you reading

getting on Harry Potter what are they called? Hubble Puffs? I don't care. Dementors? Who's the black people? Who's the Jews? Oh, the goblins that do the money.

The goblins are the Jews, which not a lot of salvation there. The mudbloods. The mudbloods? Yeah, those are the black people I feel like. The Hubble Puffs is funny. Obi got called that driving to a college game recently. I don't want to get into this, but that's not correct.

It's not? Oh, who hates Harry Potter bits now? Are you punching this one up? I love Harry Potter. I just don't like Harry Potter bits. Or the Mudbloods.

Mudblood is like a derogatory term for someone who is like born of like a magic person and a non-magic person. It's more like it's like a magic. No,

you're thinking of you're actually incorrect. You're thinking of half-blood. Like half-blood prince. Mudblood is the derogatory form. Half-blood is more proper. Just let me mansplain dragons to this bitch, would you?

Sorry. Sorry. Jesus Christ. What the fuck are we doing? I'm sorry, Paige. That's fine. On to more pressing issues. Oh, actually, before we move on,

there are some supportive Facebook posts that I found to be more offensive than the mean ones. Here's something written by Deanne Carroll. I am sad for Iran, this M, comma. Don't let the Gov stance fool you about these people. I have met Iranians, parentheses Persians, and found them to be intelligent beyond measure, creative, and loving people. A lot of periods. I hate the ones impacted, especially the children who have nothing in anything.

Why spend time calling them intelligent? Doesn't that feel weird to be like, they're so smart? Beyond the measure of my forceps that I use. have nothing in anything. Why spend time calling them intelligent? Doesn't that feel weird to be like, they're so smart. Beyond the measure of my forceps that I use. They're intelligent, creative, and loving.

Yeah, it does sound like she's describing a particularly smart dog. Yeah, she talks about Iranians the way I talk about pigs, where I'm like, they're cute.

Let's not eat them. She's spitting this in a spider web over a bunch of dead Iranian children. Some terrific Muslim. Folks, let's get to the more pressing issue. Louis C.K.

Oh, shit. I shudder. If you guys have not heard, Louis C.K. was accused still innocent, I believe, of sexually harassing five women.

I just don't believe him. I don't believe him. It happened and I don't believe him. You can't trust him. He's a rapist. This happened last Wednesday. November 9th. As of 25 minutes ago, ISIS has

claimed responsibility they posted a post on Facebook it says until America leaves the Levant we will keep exposing your American comedy writing women to the red penis of Louis hashtag Hillary for prison the red penis. 801 people like that.

I was there first. I will expose you to the red penis. The red penis does sound like a Muslim curse. You will feel the red penis. A box of red penises on your family. The crimson dong to your people. I would love to see if you commented under here first.

I like a world where 800 people like, but no one comments. It's a good ratio. They were like, I have nothing to add. No tags. I can't believe that page hasn't been tied down yet. That's shocking. This is the perfect status. I was on Craigslist.

It has everything. I was racking my brain. I'm like, what am I going to do? I'm so upset about this Louis thing. So I went on to – Yes, Ramsey. You are torn up. You are chewed up, if I may.

Thank you. I went on to Craigslist and I searched Louis C.K. And I found this ad. It said, large number of various – spelled with anU-S DVDs all with booklets in excellent condition and you can see right over here I highlighted that's Louis C.K. There's House of Cards there's a lot of good ones here so I figured

what else was I going to do? I can't imagine why they're trying to get rid of these. This guy also looks like he's selling screener copies which is crazy legal. Yes, absolutely. So I decided I'd give him a call. Let's take a listen to that phone call. Oh, God. Ramsey has phone. House of Cards and Louis C.K. DVD.

Hi, I'm about to... I saw you were selling the House of Cards and Louis C.K. DVD. We do have some DVDs. Stop by. I'll bring out everything you'll check it out. Do you still have... I'm looking for two specific ones. Can you tell me if you still have them?

Yes, I do. You for sure have them? For sure, yes. How's the card? Yeah. Okay, those are... Are they mentioned in your advertising? If they are mentioned in your advertising,

then we do have them. Yeah, they are. Do you know... They're both collectors now. You know that? Oh, boy. You know, Kevin Spacey, Louis C.K., they're going to be gone soon.

Yeah, these guys, I'm telling you, man. Maybe, if I was you, I wouldn't even sell them. They're collector's items, to be honest with you. They don't have much of a career left. Yes. Yes, probably they don't. Did you hear about them? Yes.

Yeah, it's real unfortunate what happened, huh? I don't know what happened to society, man. They got weird. Right? I don't know what happened. They got weird. Right? They sure did. I don't know what happened. You know, back when I was a kid, none of this was, it was all fine. You know, you call the police.

I'm sorry, we're out of business and I have a couple of customers waiting for me. It's like everything is rape now. You know? What happened to men being men? Do you remember those days? I sure do. How old are you? I'm 50. Yeah, so you remember those days.

What accent does this man have? These days, everybody, it seems like everybody, you take out your wiener in front of somebody and all of a sudden they want to arrest you. You know, it's like... It's crazy. What? You still mad?

If you decide to stop by, stop by. I just... We are a business and I have a customer waiting for me if you don't mind. Oh, I'm sorry. This is a business. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. What was the address again?

South Washington again. Coming over. I'm so sorry. What was the address? Go to Bob. South West Seneca. Coming over. So, I just feel like this dude was also trying to jerk off in front of a loaner. One thing I love about this guy is he stayed on the phone with you for so long. How badly does he need your $16? It also took me like a minute and a half to prove that this wasn't just you doing two voices. Did you hear how he would pause? It sure does, buddy.

I love that he was trying to politely get off the phone. He's like, I'm so sorry. I have customers. Yes, men being men, take your wiener out. He knows he's not going to sell anything to you. As soon as I picked up on his weakness, I just went in. I was like, he's not getting off the phone with me. Oh, dude.

I don't know what accent. It changed so much. When he said, he said, 50. He sounded like a fucking uncomfortable vampire. I do feel like that pause was him putting you on speakerphone. I hope so. I hope there was other people in there. Yeah, this guy is telling his friends about this call just like you are.

Oh my god, how beautiful. Before we move on, guys, I'd like to give out the first ever Paula Poundstone Award. This is a new tradition we're going to be doing. We got to have a jingle for this. We'll figure it out. I was explaining to Connor,

I don't know if I've told you about this, the Paula Poundstone Award is something I'm giving out to people who basically, they are having a bad week, and their bad news story is blown out of the water by somebody else's bad news story. It's named after Paula Poundstone

because in 2001, she was charged with child molestation. Oh, boy. And then, 9-11 happened. And luckily, those kids were driving the place. I highlighted the date.

Paula Poundstone, I put up an article here from LA Times. Paula Poundstone's plea deal ends child abuse case on September 13, 2001. The terrorists weren't even legally dead at that point. And she pleaded no contest. Alive people still pulled out of the wreckage. And Paula Poundstone is skipping out of the courthouse. She pleaded no contest Alive people still pulled out of the wreckage And Paula Poundstone is skipping out of the courthouse She pleaded no contest Which means she does not contest to the charges She did it

But she's not pleading guilty That's what she did She got away with it I feel like it's important this week for us to recognize Who's getting the first poly It's going to be Steven Seagal baby Did you guys see Steven Seagal, baby. Oh, hell yeah. Did you guys see Steven Seagal? I read some of this.

Steven Seagal was accused of sexual harassment by Portia de Rossi, who wrote to him. She wrote on Twitter, this was in the morning of November 8th. This is over 140 characters. She wrote this on the night of November 8th, which is Tuesday. The next day, the Louis C.K. news broke

and nobody gave a shit about it. But she wrote, My final audition for Steven Seagal movie took place in his office. He told me how important it was to have chemistry off screen as he sat me down and unzipped his leather pants. Oh, leather pants. I ran out and called my agent.

Unfazed, she replied, Well, I didn't know if he was your type. Here's how I know she's telling the truth. Connor picked up on it. Unzipped his leather pants. There's no way this man did not have leather pants on at all times. Casually. He wears leather pants like under his pajamas.

He swims in leather pants, Steven Seagal, in the Crystal Cove. So congratulations. You got our first poly, Steven Seagal. It's weird that it was a female agent. You know, that's what I think was interesting. I thought you would have wanted toly Steven Seagal. That's weird that it was a female agent. You know, that's what I think was interesting. I thought you would have wanted to fuck Steven Seagal.

Oh, I thought you were just like, they let ladies be agents now? No, just that she'd be like, oh,

I thought you wanted to fuck him for the movie. Come on. I need this money, you dumb bitch. If only I knew a single Steven Seagal

movie, I could have taken that riff over the top, but I racked the Rolodex. Nothing. I don't know one Steven Seagal movie either. Under have taken that riff over the top. But I racked the Rolodex. Nothing. I don't know one Steven Seagal movie either. Under Siege.

Oh, that's, yeah. Under Siege 2. Under Siege 3. Presumably. Yeah. God, I can't think of any more. He's so terrible. He does that show where he's a cop.

Oh, yeah. Where he's legitimately a cop. He's a legitimate cop. Fucking stumble bumbling through New Orleans with his dumb ponytail to beat up meth heads. He's a cop. He's a law enforcement officer. Congratulations, Steven Seagal. Congratulations.

I know a lot of the Mean Boys fans are going to be wondering what I'm doing on Craigslist this time. Here's the thing. It was tough because I don't know if you guys have ever been to the Tehran Craigslist. I thought to myself, look, there's an earthquake in Iran.

Let's go fuck with some people who live in Iran. See who's trying to get their dick sucked out there. I can't imagine there's an active Craigslist sex scene in Tehran. The screen just is my foiled phishing attempts. I feel like Craigslist in Iran is just outside. You just go. Look at it. Here's the Craigslist.

I'm sorry. This is the Iraq Craigslist because it was on the border. Jobs, nothing. Oh, wow. Artist section. Oh, no. This is the free stuff section. Nothing.

Oh, wow. Artist section, nothing. So I went to Tehran's. Could not find any more luck in Tehran's. But I did find, I was looking under their for sale section and they did have something that really caught my eye.

In the for sale section of the Tehran Craigslist, a good kidney. What? What? Shut up. A kidney in the Tehran section of Craigslist. Here is the ad. Good kidney, 44 years old, in excellent condition, AB blood blood type starting bid $50,000 here's the thing

I had to come up with a plan I was like look if I'm gonna message this guy this is my one shot I need to create another Google account

because I can't use big ass Ramdog he's not gonna believe that's an Iranian well that video has nearly 2,000 views everyone knows exactly

it's burnt it's exposed here are the rules you can't do Borat 2 you know here are the rules of my new identity. I need to have an Iranian name. One.

Two, I need to have a need for a new kidney. These are the end of the rules for my new identity. Very fair. Okay. I'm with you. You don't even need a new kidney. You just need a spare kidney. Well, I'll tell you.

The bit that I was going to do with this man, I'll tell you in a second. Okay. I tried to create a new Google account. It wouldn't work with my phone number, so I borrowed Keith Carey's phone number. Could not be less stoked that that happened now. Now this is being used in conjunction with international organ dealers. This is not a Hammond B3, by the way. This filters alcohol.

I took Keith Carey's phone number. I Googled my own name, and I took a picture of a different man who came up, and I created a new identity. His name is Farhad. His name is Farhad Hirbad Ardeshir Jahanshah. Oh, my God. Read his email. The full name. Read his email. Farhad Hirbad Ardashir Jahanshah Oh my god Read his email The full name Read his email

His email is Farhad Hirbad Shahard Dashir Hirshanshah Shah At gmail.com

Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah

Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah

Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah

Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah

Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah

Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah

Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah

Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah Shah to just add a 69 at the end of all of that. I'm surprised that wasn't written out of characters. I tried. Oh, you didn't get the last H. I tried, yeah. I couldn't get the H. I couldn't get the H. So I emailed,

I created him, I wrote him an email. I wrote, greetings. Just look how fucking long that shit is. It's like a 48-letter name. Just imagine going to Valvoline. Like, would you like to sign up for the rewards?

Okay, F-A. You have several more pens. That's more than a Wi-Fi, like, default router password. The subject for the email is R-E, good kidney. I wrote him, greetings, comma, comma, comma. I've noticed foreign people use commas a lot. I'm not sure why. They're luxurious in their country.

I think they just have dirty thumbs and they can't hit the period on the iPhone. It keeps fucking up the screen. I wrote, greetings. I am in contact to you about your advertisement posted to Craigslist regarding your kidney for sale. I would like to purchase it, comma, not for me, but for my father-in-law. I have some questions to ask before move forward.

One, are you drink alcohol? Two, do you play sports? Three, how much kilo do you weigh? Four, are you boy? Five, are you use drugs? drugs six how old are you seven are you travel to iran if i pay eight are you american i look forward to hear back from you thanks and i just signed it f my plan was i wanted to get him to respond to me and i was gonna make him think that i just wanted to purchase his kidney to have it. Like I wanted to give it to my father-in-law as a gift so he could purchase the sperm.

With an American's kidney. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you boy? No response back from him. I heard nothing. Okay. Thank you for Googling this clip art to fill the void of a funny comedy bit. So I was befuddled.

I was like, I have this identity. What am I going to do with it? I was searching through Facebook, and I saw all of these posts where people thought that the earthquake wasn't real. They wrote things like, wonder if it's really a nuclear bomb. Earthquake or bombs under the infrastructure. Very serious allegations are beginning to surface from the Middle East that the massive magnitude earthquake which struck... I didn't want to read the rest. People think it's a bomb. So I thought, what could I do?

Get the fuck out of your house. How could I? I decided I was going to take on a new persona. Here's the best part about this emoji. Whenever the world story hip-hop shares some troubling world news, like North Korea detonates nuclear test.

They put this one afterward. Like, what do you guys think? It's so funny. Yeah. So I decided, I was like, look, I have the name. Why not try to convince people that I'm a civil engineer from Iran who knows something about a bomb that was detonated in Iran. Oh, fuck! So I changed all my...

I created a Facebook page. I created a Twitter profile. Oh, my God. For Farhud, Hibad, Ardeshir, Jahanshah. Did you buy followers? No, this is my old

Twitter account for This Wild Life. Which for the listeners is the pop punk band that Ramsey quit before they made money. Before they became trillionaires. Why don't you use that account? Yep, 13.4. We'll talk about this later. I need you to read that bio right now, Ramsey. His bio says, I am civil engineer.

It says, I am civil engineer for Iran. I host podcast. Thanks for dance. No. Thanks God for dance. Thanks God for dance. Please donate to Earthquake. You should have put the home page of comedian earthquake

here's the thing i got worried that people would fact check the story so i went and created a sound for thanks god for dance with your host for odd do you guys want to hear the sound yes yes i do how dare you of course here is the track that Yes! Yes, I do. How dare you? Of course I do. Here is the track that I have listed as episode four for Thanks God for Dance with your host, Farad. Oh, I hit up my graphic designer at my work and I had him design me this cool Thanks God for Dance. Yeah, which just looks like, okay, I didn't do anything in this presentation for English Clash. I better learn how funky fonts work. Let's listen to episode one.

It's another exclusive only from DJJ. Paige looks so troubled right now. If I ever do start a morning news show in the Middle East, this is going to be the song we all come out to. Oh, for sure. What song is this? I just Googled Iranian dance music.

What is it, just an hour of this song? I can't get enough of his picture. I really can't. No, yeah. It's really nice. It's too good. This is Ramzi Badawi, the oncologist from Sacramento. What a great day for him this is.

Oh, man. I'm sure glad this is going out on my RSS feed where I'm legally accountable for any repercussions. Thanks, God, for liability loss. Who is this muscled Arabic man? How long is this feed? I don't know why I Googled. Well, did you actually record any audio? Just enough to where you click on it, you're like, okay, I guess this is real.

Yeah, okay, I got you. Exactly. Very good. I'm disappointed. I know. I thought you had done a whole hour-long episode of Thanks God for Dance, and I was about to shit my pants. Thanks God for Dance is my favorite. No, Ramsey, this ends with you taking a morning radio gig in Iran, just being like, I'm eight levels too deep in this fucking pit.

No kidneys have appeared. This is troublesome. So I started messaging people that I was just chatting up some nice people. By the way, my Facebook page was blowing the fuck up. I was getting, like, literally 120 ads overnight. So many people were adding me because all my statuses were like, thanks, God, I'm okay from the earthquake. Listen to my podcast.

Thanks, God, for dance. I like that your fake. Listen to my podcast. Thanks God for dance. I like that your fake accounts are even opportunistic self-promoters. It was so funny. In an alternate reality, you're still a dude. People were messaging me, talking to me. I finally got hold of this one guy and I started talking to him

and I was really excited. Things were going great between him and I and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Facebook completely blocked my account. They blocked everything. The only thing I had was a screenshot that I sent to Paige in a conversation. I'll show you guys a little bit of the conversation. It's really funny. This guy, I hit him up and I said, listen, I have some information that you might want to be interested in.

Who is this guy? He's the guy I talked to. I searched Iran bomb earthquake and he was the first one coming up. So he's just some chode posting about in. Who is this guy? He's the guy I talked to. I searched Iran bomb earthquake, and he was the first one coming up. So he's just some chode posting about it. Who's posting about it. Who later informed me in our conversation that he is an avid exposer of corrupt government.

Oh, no. I sent him a message. I said, I have some documentation I can send. He said, please do. I said, to prove the building codes and some photos that show where I believe the bomb went off. He gave me a thumbs up. I said, to prove the building codes and some photos that show where I believe the bomb went off. He gave me a thumbs up. I said, you American?

He said, no, I'm English and an avid exposure of the corrupt government. I wrote, I have a son in England. He at Imperial College. For the listener, that is a photo of two Arab men making out. I wrote, hear him and his classmates. They're not just making out. They're just gently touching tongues. They do.

Gayer than making out, for sure. This guy's wearing pajamas? I'm not sure. I do have that shirt, I think. I'll put it on after this. So you're also the gay Hamburglar? I was doing this at work, and a guy walked by. You were licking a man's tongue at work? You're also the gay Hamburglar? I was doing this at work and a guy walked by

and was like... You were licking a man's tongue at work? You're the turd burglar? I was Googling gay Arab men kissing. This is on my work. It's not what it looks like.

It's for an international hoax. It's for a crime, probably. But the guy, it was weird. The guy walked by and was like, is that you? No, no, no, it's me. It's for Thanksgiving night for dance. That's a little racist. Is that you?

Those guys don't look like you, really. I just love that you're like, no, it's not me. It's just two other dudes kissing. It's for something somehow stupider. The plan that I was was gonna do with him was I was basically gonna keep sending him information but then also accidentally slip in pictures of my of my podcast

and my son being gay and me not knowing that my son's gay this is him and his classmate is what I was gonna keep saying to him oh I like that yeah I said hear him and his classmate they do prank that Yeah. Yeah, I said, hear him in his classroom. They do prank. That's a pretty good prank.

They look so happy. They do. Yeah, like I've never been that passionate about anything. Yeah. They also look very similar to the point that it's kind of creepy. You guys want to look at the picture

while listening to the song? Yes. It fits perfectly. Okay, I get it. I get it. Oh, man. Love wins. I was unfortunately foiled, but feel free to follow Farhad on Twitter.

He's still up. Give him a follow. Yeah. Oh, my God. We'll link him. So I came up. Give him a follow. Yeah. We'll link him. So I came up with another idea, an alternative solution. I figured here's what we can do. We'll figure out. I didn't finish this slide. We'll figure out

who said it. Nice. My father or a shitty Facebook comment. Do you guys want to play along? You guys are a game for this? Of course. So basically, I went over all the top issues with my father throughout the week and you guys have to figure out who said

it. My dad, or I'm sorry, a Facebook commenter or my father. Is this your father? This is my father. This man in the pork pie hat racking a shotgun? Yeah, my mom made me take the hat. That's the hat my mom made me take. Ramsey, with all the stories you've told me about your father

And just this smiling face It's very confusing I love my father so much He looks like a detective trying to Pin 9-11 on the Jews You sound like you've been cheating Alright guys, just to set it. You can do this the easy way or the G-hard way.

Just to set the game up properly, I figured I'm going to throw you guys a quick easy one. Let's see here. Dubai and Temnity. Who said it? Where the heck is it? Who said it? Where the heck is it? Who said it? Was this a Facebook comment?

Sorry, I'm trying to solve it. Nice vamping, Rams. I know. Facebook comment or my father. Who said it? What is a pup cast? That would be your father. That would definitely be my father.

Let's take a listen. Answer in English. That would be your father. That would definitely be my father. Let's take a listen. Okay, dad. Answer in English. I have questions I would like to ask you for my podcast. Okay. Is that okay? What is the podcast you are talking about? A podcast is an internet radio show.

Okay. Okay. I think Pupcast is the podcast those gay Arab kids are on. How is Pupcast not something that Paige does? All right, let's start with number one. Roy Moore tries to molest someone underage. He should be shot in the street.

Is that a Facebook comment or is that my fault? That's a Facebook comment. Your dad is way down with that shit. By the way, I want to say something. Your dad was like, kill Ray Moore, then kill kid. I had to... What's the word I'm looking for? I fucked with some of the quotes

because my father's accent would give it away. You Arabed him up a bit. I Arabed him up a little bit. I lopped him off. Can I ask a question? Go for it. Are all these from the same phone call with him? Yes, same phone call.

And did you give him background on what you were going to talk about? So anything that we're talking about came up organically. I said, hey, Dad, I have questions for you. So you asked him. Yeah, we did a little intro. So you could have taken it out of the way. So you asked him. OK.

Yeah. I still think this is a YouTube comment. I just wish I could hear your questions. I think this is your father. No, no. I think it's a a YouTube comment. I just wish I could hear your questions. I think this is your father. Yeah, I think it's your father. No, no. I think it's a Facebook comment because your dad is... I think it's her Facebook.

Facebook? Facebook. I'm going Facebook. You guys are correct. I mean, it's Twitter, but you guys are correct. Ray Moore tries to molest someone underage. He should be shot in the street before we get the facts. If he is guilty, screw him.

Kevin Spacey does it, and it's okay, but he was ashamed of his sexuality. What kind of logic is that? Here's what my father had to say about Roy Moore. Oh, no. Did you hear about the senator? His name is Roy Moore? Yes, I heard about him. The one who was sexually tried to use...

He did something bad with some lady working for him or something. She was a young girl, yeah. Yeah. I heard that she was a black lady. You heard a black lady say it?

Yeah, well, I heard, you know, I heard in the news today, but I... She sounds like black. What? Prove to me that's not Anakin's boss

from Star Wars Your dad is Watto I heard it was Black Lady Yeah, you work as Junkyard She sounds like Black I could not stop laughing when Aaron said that She sounds like Black Okay, next one

I am happy about the earthquake in Iran Your dad That's your pop That is your pop. That is your fucking dad, dude. Okay, let's hear it. Did you hear about the earthquake in Iran today? Yes.

What do you think about it? I'm heavy. You're happy? No context? Yeah, he didn't say why. He did. We know why. There was a little bit in it, but I had to cut it out. Put it this way.

If I have to cut it out, it's bad. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. It's bad. Holy Christ. Can we all hear it after the podcast? Yeah, we can listen to it for sure. Fuck yeah.

Almost raped by Steven Seagal is pretty damn funny. Oh, your dad doesn't know who Steven Seagal is, so I'm going Facebook. His dad is the bad guy in every Steven Seagal movie. Steven Seagal kills 40 of his dad and then saves the president. I'm going to go with your dad. I think that this one... What was the last one? The last one was my dad.

I'm going to go with your dad. I'm going to say your dad. I'm going to go with your dad. I'm going to say your dad. I'm going to go with Facebook. Oh, God. I'm going to go. I think this is a fake out and it's going to be your dad. Okay, let's find out what my dad thinks about Steven Seagal. Do you like Steven Seagal?

He's okay. I don't care about whether he's, you know, give a... I watch his movies once in a while. I watch his movies once... That's shocking to me. No, that was Brother Love or Mr. K. Monroe. Almost raped by Steven Seagal.

That was pretty damn funny in context, though. Good laugh. Good job. Good tweet. Thanks for contributing, Brother though. Good laugh. Good job. Good tweet. Cool. Thanks for contributing, brother love. Good tweet. Good tweet. Dude, that picture of your dad is fucking solid gold, my dude. I love it so much. The darkness, the poor lighting adds a lot to it.

Yeah, he's just like a silhouette. And the fedora. I love it with all my heart. The earthquake in Iran is punishment from God. Is both an option? I'll accept both. There's no way someone didn't write this on Facebook. Let's say that. I'm going to say Facebook.

That's your pops. Everybody's got their answer? You guys all win because it's everybody. Why do you think there was an earthquake in Iran? Because God wants them, wants to, I think he wants to just go punish them. The Iranians? Yes. The Iranians and the Syrians, the government of Syria and Hezbollah, these are bad things.

Really? Yes. What do you think? He just started speaking Arabic halfway through it. Really? Yes. What are you... He just started speaking Arabic halfway through it. I love that, like, this is... Your dad is going to be like your Kathy Griffin's mom. You're toting her out for public. Your dad has his own line of, like, fucking Korans that he...

This is the final one, and it's a good one. Fuck Khomeini and his boy dick sucking ass fucking. If that's not your dad, I'm kicking you off your own show. That is too good to not be your dad. This is too hard. That's my dad. That's your dad.

Who's Khomeini? He's the Ayatollah of Iran. He used to host the Meltdown, right? Not this week. What? Shut up. then, right? Not this week, Keith. Come on. What? Shut up. Khomeini is the Ayatollah of Iran.

You guys, all of you have been faked out. It was on... Our page was the correct one. Oh, no, I don't have it. The correct one, it was a Facebook one, but I do have my dad's message on Khomeini. I would like to play it for you guys. I'm really excited that I won that last one. You did win that last one.

You had a bold move. What do you think about the Ayatollah Khomeini? He's a Jew. That's so much worse. We're bringing the soundboard back just so we can play that. He's a Jew. It's too good. Play that one more time.

Play that one more time. What do you think about the Ayatollah Khomeini? He's too good. It's too good. I want you to like play that one more time. Play that one more time. Yeah. What do you think about the Ayatollah Khomeini? He's a Jew. I want you to mix that into the theme song from Thank God for Dance. Oh, no. Like he's a jerk. He's a Jew. He's a Jew.

Guys, and of course, I'd like to. That's it for us for this segment. I do want to play a farewell message. I do want to play a farewell message from my father and myself on the Mean Boys podcast. Here it is. Thank you. This did not work as well as I wanted. Thank you, guys. That's good enough.

Okay, Dad, thanks. I'm not listening. Take care. Let's see you sometime. Thanks for listening to the Mean Boys podcast. That's enough. Thank you guys. That's good enough.

Okay, Dad, thanks. He refused to give us the name drop. Just say it. We're trying to get him to do K-Rock bumps. Hey, guys, this is Henry Rollins. He felt like you were tricking him. Hello, I'm Ramsey's dad. This is Rodney on the

Rock. Rodney on the Dome of the Rock. It should be Rodney on the Steak. He's homosexual. Alright, guys, thanks for listening to the Mimbo's Podcast You guys have been so great today Stick around, we got things going Ramsey, tell us about the, when's the live show? Live show, January 2nd

Come out guys, come on You wanna see a fucking whole show of this? I know you do Come see it Stick around for Thanks God for Rock, right after this Fuck everything fucking whole show with this? I know you do. Come see it. Stick around for Thanks God for Rock right after this. Fuck everything. Thanks God for dance. Holy shit, dude.

This song is 42 minutes long. It's probably just a mix.