Men At Work Podcast - Black Friday Employees on Fights, Stealing, and if the Holiday is Dead!

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

Kyle and Matt are at the King of Prussia Mall to talk to employees at the third largest mall in the country and find out if Black Friday the holiday as we know it is donezo. 00:00 - Best Black Friday Presents and Kyle Going Commie 16:10 - How to Steal... 27:34 - Woman Whoops Up on the Olds 46:54 - Crashing Out in a Dunkin' 1:00:25 - Security Kicks Us Out! #blackfriday #blackfridaysale #podcast Check out our sponsor Thrive Flower! Thrive sells real cannabis products outside of the medical system. They have 9 strains of flower, 6 strains of pre rolled joints, 4 strains of vapes, gummies, and lemonades. They are the first and only company offering same day cannabis delivery within Philly. Order your cannabis at https://thriveflower.com/ and it will be delivered in about an hour. Use code menatwork15 for 15% off orders. Simply choose “same day delivery” during checkout. This applies for Philly residents ONLY. About Us: The Men At Work Podcast asks one question: What do you do for work? After that the conversation flows from there. We’ve met substitute teachers, Bangladeshi t-shirt moguls, a real estate broker tight with LeBron James, and more. And we’ll record anywhere. Random sidewalks during an eclipse, a baseball game, a bar crawl, casino, and more. We like to find out what people do for a living. If you want us to come to your event email us at: [e-mail] Listen to the podcast on YouTube: https://youtu.be/70n4RJl7AIA If you want more bonus content check out our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/menatworkpod Follow Us: The Pod: https://www.tiktok.com/@menatpodcast https://www.instagram.com/menatpod/ Follow Matt: https://www.tiktok.com/@mattpeoplescomedy https://www.instagram.com/mattpeoplescomedy/ Follow Kyle: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kylepagancb/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kylepagancb Follow Vito: https://www.instagram.com/vito_visuals/?hl=en

Come on. Welcome back to another episode of Men at Work podcast. How are you guys doing over there? Good, good, good, good, good. We're at the third largest. We'd love to have you if they want to come back. We'll catch you on the way out. Yeah, we'll catch you on the way out.

Well, if you didn't know, we're here at Black Friday. I'm Kyle Pagan. This is Matt Peeples as always. Matt, usually I hit you with the intro. Where the hell are we? But you know what? I already ruined that. Talking to those three people. I apologize for

stealing your thunder. But we're at the third largest mall in the country. That's right. King of Prussia. They're saying Black Friday's dead. We're going to figure it out if it is or not. Yeah, well, parking said, no, it's not. Everybody and their mother is here, and it's driving me out of my mind. I'm parking in lots. There's so many parking lots now that they've ran out of names that just started going with colors.

I parked in the yellow lot. Okay. We're in the orange lot, so that's not around here. Okay. Well, there's an orange lot right next to the yellow lot, and I had to park there and traverse. That's where we're at right now. That's D7. That's the division that I play basketball in.

Hello, folks. No, but it's good to be here. I haven't been on a Black Friday spree. Like Kyle said, we're out on a Black Friday. It's a big day, big American holiday. And I haven't been out on a Black Friday since my young youth years. And you would just go as a kid. You'd go to just kind of like Mac on the

Bitties. Would you eat in line for anything? Never anything at all. I don't think I've ever bought anything. I never had any money. I didn't have money until like literally like a year and a half ago. So I'm kind of trying to be more accustomed to that. Yeah. As a kid, I would go to the mall and I would be like, I hope somebody gives me $8. As a kid, I for real thought just like somebody will give me money because I want it.

What did you want to buy with $8? Two monsters. Yeah. Yeah. I'm proud to say. And hoping you had enough for an Auntie Anne's pretzel. Oh, my sister worked at Auntie Anne's in the mall. That was huge.

My sister would work at Auntie Anne's in the mall. She'd leave Thanksgiving dinner, get to the mall at 11 p.m. Yeah. And then start shift midnight. And she'd be there from midnight to like nine o'clock in the morning. And now the big companies are giving people off and they're not even starting until like midnight now. They're not even starting until like six in the morning now with all the Black Friday deals. And that's where people are putting death now on Black Friday. Do you know where Black Friday started? Tell me right now. Philadelphia.

Did it really? Yeah, dude, we have a lot, man. We do a lot. We kind of are the boys. You know why it started in Philadelphia? Tell me now. Because the Army-Navy game used to be played on a Saturday after Thanksgiving. So all the big corporations are like, hey, everyone's coming in here to go watch Army and Navy. Yeah. Big deal. Let's just start doing a bunch of sales and shit. And then the cops, it used to get out of hand back in the 30s and 40s, too.

So the cops started calling it Black Friday. Really? Yeah. And then later on, like the 70s and 80s, when Black Friday became kind of a thing, it was to get companies that were in the red into the black. Into the black. For the holiday season. Well, Kyle, that was the only fun fact I brought to the table.

And you just absolutely ruined it for me. I knew we did research. Look, dude, it's a comedy podcast, not a fun fact podcast. Sorry, you're right. You're right. I do miss Black Friday, though. I do miss what it used to be. Last night, I was watching a lot of Black Friday fight compilations on YouTube.

Oh, nothing better. They're the best. I mean, I do miss the days of people fighting each other for discount TVs, people tasing each other for 20% off a toaster, trampling minimum wage workers and killing them. It was the ultimate consumerism event in the United States of America. And I kind of felt like it defined us as a nation. I feel like we're looking to get that identity back. And I don't like that the identity is becoming just sit in your house and do Cyber Monday deals. I agree with that.

And I think because, look, as a country, we're a capitalistic country. That's our big thing. America, we buy, we sell. If you have the better price, you're on top. Nothing was more American than willing to go to jail for 25 off exactly storming into a target by the way when's the last time we stormed back in the 1700s you'd have cavalry versus each other this is the closest we can get nowadays is storming into a target for back in the day like a plasma tv remember plasma tv hello you look great how are you uh but storming like that that

is us. That's in us. And it was the few times of the year we got to unleash it. And I think the fact that Cyber Monday is happening, that's the closest we're getting to Wale, dude. Wow. Yeah. I just missed a cop pulling a gun on a family of four. You can see that pretty often if you go to North Philly.

You go right into the, you know, just watching these people just take toaster ovens after toaster ovens yeah and the smiles on their faces and the excitement like they just discovered gold there's truly nothing something i really do miss and now you can just get that same toaster oven on amazon and the fact that we used to have 75 to 90 off deals yeah and now they're all just the same. They're not even deals anymore. They're not. They're awful. The same toaster that you're paying $49.99 for, you could have got $49.99 in November 1st.

Yes. Now they're starting to do deals earlier. Yeah, that pissed me off. I hate it. It's the worst thing. Everything has to get scaled back. But I will say, you keep the magic alive of Black Friday where even if you do do Cyber Monday, someone might steal it off your front porch.

So you kind of have that allure of, hey, maybe I'll never get it. That is cool. Life is about living with anxiety. Sure. And if it's whether you're going to fight for a toaster, you're going to fight for a Plaza TV or a porch pirate is going to get your toaster or your Plaza TV on your porch. It's actually kind of beautiful about America. Do you remember the Tickle Me Elmo craze?

And before we get into our episode today, we want to talk to you about our boys at Thrive Vito. Check out our sponsor, Thrive Flower. Thrive sells real cannabis products outside of the medical system. Give us some excitement. Let me hear it. Yeah, dude. Come on, dude. First ad read. Jazz it up. They have nine shades of flower, six strains of pre-rolled joints, three strains of vapes, gummies, and lemonades. Louder. They are the first and only company offering the same day cannabis delivery within Philly. Quieter. Order your cannabis at... Quieter. Quieter. Quieter. Quieter. Quieter. A little quieter.

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By the phone, dude. Popcorn reading with Vito. What do you think? Did you ever get popcorn. Boom, dude. Popcorn reading with Vito. What do you think? Did you ever get popcorn? Oh, dude, I was never a good reader. No, what? We're a public speaker. I just say public speaker.

I can read. Yeah, we can read. We can read. Sweet. Thanks, dude. Cool. Anything you want to give public testimony or anything? Nah, man.

Just keep fucking subbing to this fucking podcast. What about Buy Thrive? And keep smoking that fucking Thrive, baby. And drinks. And drinks. Don't forget the lemonades and edibles and all the... And sprays. And the sprays. My personal favorite are the gummies. I had one last night.

Dude, I'm telling you, they are the best. They are the best. They put me in such a good headspace i had the time of my life it's the only thing that made the mike tyson jake paul fight watchable yeah that probably makes sense but i enjoyed the fight because i was pretty high off of thrive yeah i think that's right when i hit my rock bottom with drinking i'll be right into thrive non-stop thank you boom oh my. That was the last great push of Black Friday. Nah.

I feel like a die-denture. Nintendo 64 was a big one. Well, I'm saying Tickle Me Elmo. That was like what? In the 2000s? 1996. But I remember it happened again.

It came back on the 10th year anniversary. Right, right, right, right, right. Okay, that's the last one I remember. What was the 1996 like? Dude, women used to be on Good Morning America having crawling competitions.

The first one to get across the line wins a Tickle Me Elmo. I mean, that is America, dude. I was watching a video in Indiana. These guys had to—everybody who participated in it, women and fathers and men. Women, fathers, men. You had to ride a tricycle down, eat a cookie and then ride a tricycle back and the first one to do that got a tickle me omo i mean the tickle me omos in the wanted ads people were selling for a thousand dollars yeah they're only priced at 39.99 there's a story that john

goddy uh reserved an entire like toys r us and him and the boys went in and they just cleaned them out of tickle me omos and there was an uproar around the country. Why were they that popular? I don't get it. We were. Is it just like, it's like a bourgeoisie versus the have-nots of just, nobody really wants it. They just see people that they want to be like have it and they're like, well, I've never felt good about myself. Surely a Tickle Me Elmo will make me feel that.

I think you nailed it on the head. Really? Imagine not having the internet. True, true, true, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't get that dopamine effect. How do you get that dopamine effect? All these likes, all these shares, all these comments and stuff. You get it through getting your kid a Tickle Me Elmo. Wow. You see that smile on their face during Christmas. Yeah. And then two months later, they just discard it and never play with it ever again, or it lights on fire. Dude, if your Tickle Me Elmo lights on fire, then it was worth doing it that reminds me ever see jingle all the way yeah dude that is black friday yes

certain bad and arnold schwarzenegger one of the greatest movies of all time yeah the funniest part of the movie and it's never acknowledged is like everyone else is just an american person and then arnold somehow is just a random austrian guy who's jacked and handsome who would definitely get a turbo man because he's hot he's austrian yeah and he would have a connect he the guy is the guy first of all um he works so hard that he doesn't see his family ever yes he is a bad father he misses jamie's karate match what's he's got the that's true he's got the uh the the neighbor you know snooping on his wife yeah everything this guy would have would have moved well i guess he did move hell and earth got the neighbor, you know, snooping on his wife and everything. This guy would have moved, well, I guess he did move hell on earth to get a Turbo Man,

but this guy would have had no problem getting a Turbo Man in real life. That is the funniest thing. That was Paul Hollywood. That's a great, that is the biggest plot hole. Sinbad, on the other hand? Yes. Never getting a Turbo Man. Mailman? Are you serious?

He's the new porch pirate. He'll just steal it out of the back of the truck. Yeah, exactly. Mailman, he would have stolen it. He would have stolen it. Yeah. That is really funny. That really is the biggest plot hole is that imagine a hot person couldn't get something done.

I'm not saying that because Sinbad's black. He would have stolen it. I'm not saying that. Oh, well, then I will. I'll say that. I'm kidding. Did your mom or dad ever wait in line for anything? I have one quick tidbit about Sinbad now that I thought about it.

Okay. Have you ever heard about the Mandela effect? Yes. Everybody thinks that Sinbad was that I thought about it. Okay. Have you ever heard about the Mandela Effect? Yes. Everybody thinks that Sinbad was in a movie called Shazam. That was Shaq. That was Shaq, but then there was another movie that, like, there's a picture online of Sinbad in, like, a wizard kind of costume. It was either called Shazam or Kazam, whichever one that Shaq wasn't in.

Okay. Oh, Shaq was in Kazam, sorry. So I think Sinbad apparently was in Shazam. Come to find out, that movie has never existed. But everybody remembers so I think Sinbad apparently was in Shazam come to find out that movie has never existed but everybody remembers that movie of Sinbad being a wizard yeah no not even a photoshop it feels like and I remember seeing pictures of it too that's how I knew Sinbad as I was like oh he was in like that kind of like Shaq movie and then I looked it up and apparently that's another Mandela effect where it never existed wow maybe it was like a tester or

something like that maybe but either way I mean mean, I believed it my entire life. So shout out Sinbad. Did your parents ever wait in line for anything? My mom and my aunt would go out at like 5 in the morning. And they went through hell and high water. Well, I probably shouldn't have said that. Well, my aunt shit herself out in front of a Target waiting in line. That was my big story I came with.

People. Do you remember? This was the glory of Black Friday. You would shit yourself for a Furby. Yeah. And there was do you remember this was the glory of black friday that you would shit yourself for furby yeah and there's nothing you could do yeah she shit herself in line and then you you're in a line waiting to get in so you can't go into the target and be like hey can you let me in they're like yeah tough shit lady it was a literal caste system we had the working class people shitting themselves to pay the elites pockets while even the untouchables are working on black friday that's

right yeah yeah that's exactly right you could describe america to somebody 200 years from now because i don't think black friday will be around sure by just talking about black friday in 19 in the 1990s and early 2000s yeah that was like our first our first like real post 9-11 thing that mattered is how crazy black friday got between like 2003 and 2009 yeah 2009 i felt like i remembered like every year growing up it just got pushed back where it starts at 5 a.m now it starts at 2 a.m now it starts at 12 a.m now it's actually thursday at 10 p.m and i felt like we kind of hit a fever pitch where it's like we cannot be watching relatives leave thanksgiving dinner to go buy stuff or go work but i think covet also stopped that too because right in 2019 was when more online shoppers were uh buying more things than

but than uh black friday shoppers and that's kind of where of course corrected then covet happens everybody obviously has to buy things online and everything so that yeah i mean it all had a thing but i i don't think black friday will be dead i think it will come back around i think everything in life is cyclical yeah fashion is cyclical. Music is cyclical. I do think people are going to be kind of like, well, let's get off our phones. Let's go off the internet and let's go touch things. Let's go read a newspaper. Yeah, I think that's probably right. I kind of hope that happens because I'm really – the one old guy thing that I have harbored since my youth, I don't know how to buy stuff online.

How so? I get freaked out. Why so? Just putting in my bank information, my credit card information. I'm like a robot. I'd rather just be face-to-face with a guy who's probably high before his shift

and then swipe my card in front of him, watch him say not approved, and then try it again and then switch to another card. But I like being in the physical. I like being in the store. I like touching the product. I like making sure that like

I'm getting what I'm getting. I've bought a lot of shirts. My fiance's bought me a lot of shirts that don't fit, jeans that don't fit. I hear you. That are like come in. They come in. They look like one way on Amazon. They're a totally different color when they come in.

Yeah. I feel you on that. I feel you. We still have to figure out the internet and online shopping and e-commerce and stuff. So I do think that Black Friday will come back. And I think a bunch of people that have walked through already kind of prove that even though this is a mall and it's probably the only fucking mall around the area. So people, that's why they're packing it right now. That Black Friday, though, is not dead.

It still lives on. And the lasting notion I'll get from this is that as a kid, I always wanted every place I liked to be a store. Like if I went to a cool spot or I went to like a museum or like a whatever, I wanted it to be a store because I wanted to buy something from there. And over the past 20 years, I've noticed that every single location is somehow kind of a store. What do you mean? Like if you go to, now you go to a park. While you're in the park, oh, there's beers on tap there. Wow, look at that. There's a store in the park. Got it. You go to now you go to a park while you're in the park oh there's beers on tap there wow look at

that there's a store in the park got it you go to a museum it's a philadelphia museum it's pay what you want whatever you get in there there's a whole gift shop everything that we go to not just a universal you're totally right you have a freaking ride you go back out they put you right into a gift shop yeah it's all a store so now you're just spending you're spending a hundred dollars on a ticket to go take your ungrateful family of four to universal it's hot you're waiting in line for 30 minutes for this for the new mario kart ride that's not even that good and then you get dumped out into a gift shop yeah that's like 5 000 square feet and here comes another 100 200 300 and you like to think you like to think that you're above it as soon as i get in that gift shop,

I'm like, wow, cool. I buy it every time. I'm starting to become commie. Commie? Tell me. I think I'm all for the redistribution of wealth, dude. The amount of money, I get so commied whenever

I go on TikTok now. Dude, it's hard to make money. Yeah, of course. Yeah. And then it's like, I'm watching, like, I'm watching a fucking C-SPAN video. Oh, my God. The MasterCard and Visa CEO. I got to check in on you more, dude.

I got to check in on you more. Yeah, what is that? Dude, the MasterCard and CEO, CEO and the Visa CEO, they're just getting grilled by this senator from, like, Milwaukee. Yeah. It's not even a state, Wisconsin. About every time you swipe your card, they get 3%. Yeah.

That's crazy. It's unbelievable. Do you remember the amount of money that people are spending today that they're just getting 3% on for doing absolutely nothing? Yeah. Why do they get 3%? That's my money. Yeah, I don't get that at all.

And I like the senator kind of being like, what's the most you could charge? Oh, so you've seen it? Yeah, I watched the video. I had some homework to do. I watched the video and they were like, what's the most you could charge on like an overdue balance? And they were like, 28%. I was like, dude, what the fuck? What is my...

Wait, so like you get 3% per swipe on top of the interest you already charged me? That's like, like you said, 28, 30%. That's insane. Yeah. And they never... They... Apparently, like there's a percentage fee that like like you said 28 30 that's insane yeah and they never they they apparently like there's a percentage fee that like when you go to an actual merchant that the merchant will incur the fee so they tell you you actually that's the consumer have to pay the fee

that i would have to pay for using your credit card so the credit card just passes it off yeah any actual fees that they should incur they just pass it off it doesn't matter if you're walmart or you're like small books boy yeah like you're you're you're billy's books you're billy's books in philadelphia yeah you're getting charged at three and you're getting charged at one percent and the funniest thing is walmart will negotiate their rates down because they spend so much people spend so much more money at walmart and then billy's books gets fucked on the back they get i'm gonna make you fool commie i'm going to blue sky kyle i'm gonna go to blue sky i'm the cop we can't go to blue ski dude we cannot go to blue i'm gonna go i'll going to blue sky. We can't go to blue sky, dude. We cannot go to blue sky.

I'm going to go. I'll go to rumble. If the regeneration of wealth becomes better, I'll go to redistribution. I'll go to rumble. I'll become a rumble boy again. Right now, I'm going full blue sky. And I might make a profile by the end of this podcast. But I had another point.

I missed it. Well, going back to the Discover MasterCard thing. And look, I'm not admitting to being in credit card debt here but i'm also not denying it in front of you dude you'd be part of the part of the brotherhood if you're in credit card debt everybody's in credit card debt yeah what does it matter eggs are five what if i don't have any kids and me and my girlfriend plan it out like a nice like yo let's go dude get over here we'll continue with the conversation later i'm going full commie, though. Put a pin in it.

What's up, dude? How are you, man? Good job, Vito. Yeah. Yeah. What's up? Oh, thank you, bro. I appreciate it.

Here, pick the mic up. Let's have some fun. What's going on, fellas? So, I think we... What do you do for a living? So, I actually manage one of the luxury stores up here. Oh, shit. How was it today?

I'll be honest, a little docile inside compared to the parking lot. Parking lot's madness. Is Black Friday dead? I don't want to say it's dead, but has it lost its luster since a lot of these brands are starting their sales a week early? Sure. Oh, what's that about? I don't know what's going on, bro.

I thought we were doing it a day before, two days before. You could have gotten our deals last Friday. Really? Yeah. Plus your employee discount, too. Oh, bro, they take good were doing it a day before, two days before. You could have gotten our deals last Friday. Really? Yeah. Plus your employee discount, too. Oh, bro, they take good care of us. They do? Good.

That's good. Keeps coming back. I'm going on six holidays here. Oh, wow. Yeah. Is this seasonal work or is this what you do all the time? No, I manage the store up here. Oh, sweet.

Yeah, I've been here five years. Nice. Six holidays, yeah. People are grouchy today. I'm not seeing too much of an attitude, thank God. Maybe it's just our brand. They're taking good treatment of us,

but yeah, I can imagine it's mad out here. You keep the bad boys out. I feel like the luxury brand, you keep the bad boys out. I would try my best. Can you allude lightly

to what the luxury store is? You don't have to say the exact name. Are we French? Are we Italian? What are we working with? I can just tell you, I don't mind.

I work for Coach. Coach, yeah. Oh, wow. Especially with the brand having a really great resurgence right now. Oh, really? We're just seeing incredible profits.

So the business is booming. But I don't know. I don't know if people bought too much of our product this holiday already, but we're seeing a little bit of a slower start, at least for the day. Okay. I'm curious about a luxury brand. If you combine Black Friday, and I've seen a lot of luxury brands, you guys offer a glass of champagne sometimes when you walk in.

I don't know if you guys get that nasty with it. I'll be honest. Some places do. do i think bottega you can go upstairs get like a little shot of whiskey if you're if you're spending enough i'm sure um there's some of these brands that do offer i think it's store by store whether i don't know if liquor licenses play a part or what i can't imagine we don't we used to apparently years ago we don't anymore what do you see most flying off the shelves right now well coach is a lot of handbags so yeah as a as a straight man that loves football, selling handbags for a living is quite interesting.

Yeah, I learn a lot here. You're constantly making women happy. That's the straightest thing you can do. Listen, it's a good living. It's cool. We're rich women too. Yes, yes, yes. A lot of main liners out here. Who probably need a sugar baby. Oh, listen, if you're out there. Well, look, dude,

I don't know that it's necessary. We were just talking about credit card debt. I can imagine. How often do you get a pair of like cookie monster pajama pants that walk in there, bro? Some of those people spend a lot of money. I can imagine. So yeah, credit limit. Listen, if you're in this business, you got to know, you do not judge the book by its cover. That's good stuff. I end up on the news. Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah, no, I'm not walking into HR next week. Good shit, man. That's awesome man that's awesome yeah how are you guys doing out here it's colder than we thought yeah it's about as cold as i expected it's supposed to be sunny uh that like they lied to us um but it's been okay you know we're trying to we're trying to get in the black friday mood um i haven't been out the black friday in probably at least five years first time in a while yeah bro i used to do like the

limerick outlets at midnight i don't know if you ever did that growing up. Like that was always cool. I also, yeah, I don't know if the weather is putting a little damper on the shopping today too. You can't get a spot in the parking lot. Yeah, it's packed. We're seeing a lot of people just browsing too. Yeah. Just trying stuff on and heading out.

No buying. Aren't you here to buy? Right. Do you have to be like salesman-y? Like when the people walk in, I know there's like some people work on commission. Is there any of that in like the luxury stores or it's kind of like. Oh, there definitely is. With my brand, we don't work on a commission. So when you come in our store, you are just getting my genuine self.

I just genuinely want to provide you a good service and make sure you find what you need. So I think our store in particular does have a really great environment to it for that reason. It's not very cutthroat. We're not out here trying to steal each other's sales. It's not really part of it. We're a great team. And we do hear that a lot. Sometimes you get like the, you know, I guess a little stuffiness upstairs. We don't really provide that. So our customers are good to us. We're good to them. What are you looking to buy this holiday season? Bro, I'll tell you what, I used to love the holiday season. I still do. I don't want to say working in retail puts a damper on it, but like it and goes and like i hate to say it waking up every day and like hoping your day goes

by pretty quickly yeah your days eventually do go by quickly and i'll be looking i'll be staring december 20th in the face like i haven't even started so uh yeah i'm typical typical man in that fashion i'm a little late yeah um i don't really. I haven't even started my list. I don't know what I want. I ain't asking for shit. You could. Oh, yeah. Of course, yeah. I should have asked. I'm a grown man.

I don't really ask for anything. Give me some cash, put it in my gas tank, and maybe a new pair of socks. It is always weird when other grown men are like, can I curse? Yeah, of course. I don't know who we're talking to out there. You got rights. Even if you can't, what am I going to say to you? Yo, listen. I think that's one thing about Christians that's changed.

I don't know about you guys. You get to our age, and I'm like, damn, bro, those movies were really true, and I wish those movies were still the case. I could really go for a toothbrush and a pair of tube socks. I'm not really asking for much. That's actually – When your mom got you tube socks, you just want to throw them back at her and stuff, and now you're like, fuck, I did need a nice little 8-pack.

Yeah, it really is. I mean, you want all the stuff that you didn't realize you wanted as a kid. It's a tube sock, a toothbrush. You want your mom to leave so you can jerk off. Are we still happy holidays or is it Merry Christmas again? I'm still happy holidays from a story level. It's fair. Again, just trying to protect your brain.

Yeah. Trying to protect your job. We don't do Christmas sale. We do a holiday sale. Like it. Gotcha. I am a Christmas guy, though. I'm okay with happy holidays.

I used to be like, keep the Christ in Christmas. Yeah. I used to be full on that. Well, you were a Catholic schoolboy, right? I was a Catholic schoolboy, yeah. So, you know, it was always keep the Christ in Christmas. I agree. Yeah. My mom had a bumper sticker of that on the car. 100%. Or Beelzebub was going to come to the store. Yeah. He was going to demonize all these prices. Krampus.

But you know what? I'm a happy holidays guy because you know what? Not everyone celebrates Christmas. 99% of the world celebrates Christmas, or the country celebrates Christmas, but you know, not everybody. Yeah happy holidays guy because you know what? Not everyone celebrates Christmas. 99% of the world celebrates Christmas or country celebrates Christmas. But, you know, not everybody. Yeah. You get your one Kwanzaa guy. Yeah. I never really understood all the guff about it.

Like one of the holidays included in there is Christmas. You could just say it still fits. It's only we take it away. Not at all. Yeah. I mean, I and I think 2024, I mean, especially just speaking for myself, we see such a like tourist attraction kind of demographic here. Sure.

Third biggest mall in the country. Yeah, which is crazy. We see every creed, color, and nationality. Sure. For me, it's nice and easy. I wonder, so working in a coach, it's predominantly, I would guess, a female clientele. Yeah. How often do you have dudes coming in on December 23rd at 8 p.m. being like, I fucked up.

I didn't get anything yet. Is that the norm? All the time. All the time. And I'm going to take all the money that's in 8 p.m. being like, I fucked up. I didn't get anything yet. Is that like the norm? All the time. And I'm going to take all the money that's in your wallet. Yeah, we feast on the men. I'm one of them. Pause.

We rob the men because you don't know what you're getting. I'm going to sell you exactly what you need, whether it's on sale or not. Sorry. But I'm going to make your woman happy.

Do they come in like with just loosely like, hey, I think she likes this kind of purse or it's a lot of time it's like i have no idea what to get i need your help you'd be on you'd be amazed people come in you know we've been married 22 years what'd she carry i don't know yeah bro you've been with her 22 years you can't tell me if it hangs by her hip or if it sits on her shoulder right right right i did see my my fiancee last night carried a dior bag so i knock off knock off whoa you don't have to say that we're doing a podcast outside of did you think my girl's carrying real dior yo bro i don't know her lineage dude i'm like seven

years away from even stepping inside your store i come in your store they tase me no me. Nah, bro, you come in my store, I take good care of you. Thank you, brother. That's how it works. I'm putting shit on and I'm just walking right out without a nervous. And I can't stop you. Oh, so I meant I would put it back. But... Oh, no, if you put something on and walked out, I can't stop you.

I shouldn't broadcast that. Even in the suburbs? That's probably not a good idea. I thought that was a Philly thing, but in the suburbs, that's too... As an employee, I can't put myself in harm's way. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. But I'm just saying, if you wanted to put something on and walk out, I can't stop you.

But the cops will at least get involved, right? The security, the mall security? You think Paul Blart's moving very quickly? I was worried about him kicking us out. We're right inside those doors. It's not a very far run to the parking lot. Because when I was working at a state, that's the only time I ever worked at retail.

You want crazy stories. Hold on. I only got a couple minutes because I'm about to leave. You want crazy stories. It's the fucking wild, wild west out here. I don't know if this was on the news or not. Swear to God. 2023, late 2022, 2023,

theft was very bad up here. I'm talking every store. There was a shootout in one of the garages. Bro, there's been shootouts here so many times over the years. I would have said no to this location. So theft was at an all-time high. I'm talking every store There was a shootout in one of the garages Bro there's been shootouts here so many times over the years So anyway So theft was at an all time high Seemed like every other store was getting hit every week

We had to start a fucking security group chat In the mall for all the managers Like bro taking pictures off your recording Like yo look out for this dude It was bad Anyway one day I'm leaving And our typical UPS guy he picks up Drops off every day,

known by name, not going to shout him out. But I see him out back and he's talking to like three cops and what looked like a mall manager. And I'm like, yo, Kev, I saw you talking to the, talking to the Poe yesterday. I was like, yo, what's going on? You, you, you wearing a wire? He goes, nah, bro. One of the, one of the trucks got jacked.

I was like what oh my he goes two guys wearing black on black just like dickies he was like looked like package helpers for a very well-known carrier sure and uh said he walked on the walked on the dock and they were like yo where's my delivery driver he's like bro i don't know we unlocked he unloaded the truck he's upstairs he don't know him different company they don't work together just see two guys they flip the truck open walk out with a whole bunch of shit okay didn't even see the truck just walked out with a whole bunch of shit my driver runs into said driver on his route late in the day they're at one of big one of these big stores apple they're like yo where's the rest of the

delivery and the driver's like what do you mean my my driver's like yo were you on dock four he was like yeah he goes yo buddy i think i know where the other half of your delivery's at and it's gone so of course this dude's probably shitting his pants they had to file a police report that's why my driver's out there he's like i had to give my whole side of the story i don't work for said brand he was like what they catch you guys i don't. That I didn't follow up on. GTA K.O.P. It's all on Facebook. But it gets better. Oh, no, it's a two-part story. Sure.

And I'll get to it. He goes, yeah, so guy's probably fearing for his job. He left his truck unlocked. I guess protocol. It's got to be locked on the dock. You're not at it. Two weeks later, Kev comes back to my store and he goes, yo, you're never going to guess what happened. I said, what?

He goes, the guy left his truck unlocked again oh my god this man got hit a second time he said this time he caught the getaway car in the parking lot and they ran him over oh what they ran him over in the parking lot trying to stop the guys who robbed this truck for the second time. Big dog, it ain't worth it. Yo, but Guy wasn't going to have a job. This just happened two weeks ago. It's still not worth it. It's still not. Dude, UPS, FedEx, DHL, they don't care about you, dude.

Bro, apparently Buddy got in front of the car, took a hit, and was like, apparently told the cops I'm going back to work, and they were like, you're going to get your ribs X-rayed, dude. Damn, how do you fire that guy at that point? I don't know, man. You should get a raise. I think it's honorable discharge. Employee of the month.

Honorable discharge. Yo, I'll leave you with that. I gave you my wildest story. I call that the wild, wild west at KOP. Yo, thank you so much for having me. Pleasure chatting with you guys. Yo, go birds. Go birds.

Go to coach, see our guy. Thank you, brother. Yo, thanks. Have a good day. You too, man. Hey, if anyone takes anything from this podcast, don't fucking ever do anything for your corporation. You are just a cog in the wheel. If someone steals something, you let it go, dude.

I don't care. It'll get better. Unemployment is paying out the ass right now. They'll replace you and call you gay within a week. Never, never give in. And they will continue to laugh behind your back and tell stories for years. Well, you remember that guy left his truck online.

They did it again. That is pretty. I love that moment that like that is his. You ever seen Braveheart? I've never seen Braveheart. There's a moment at the end when they're about to execute him.

That was that guy's moment of just yelling freedom. Spoiler. Whacked. Spoiler. Yeah, it was about from 1997. Dude, you got to give me

time to see it. What are you going to spoil Wicked next? Yeah, well, spoiler alert. Yeah, it was about from 1997. Dude, you got to give me time to see it. What are you going to spoil Wicked next? Yeah, well, spoiler alert. Dorothy dies of asbestos poisoning. Oh, shit. Dude, Oz. Isn't that crazy? Damn, the castle's got asbestos?

Yeah. Clean your shit up there, Oz. I mean, both Ariana Grande and the other girl look like they have asbestos poisoning right now. Dude, have you been watching the Junket? That's how we should do our podcast now. You are. You're holding my space. I just think you're a good witch.

Oh, my God. I'm going to space. Oh, my God. I'm spacing. They're like sitting on each other's lap just being like, where are you from? It's the most theater kid actually. Oh, my God. I love Topeka, Kansas.

Oh, my God. I love Topanga from Boy Meets World. It's like that even close. It's like, oh closer I think she is And they're like yeah this 8 year old who can't even wipe his ass He wrote into us and said he thinks actually Adfeba or whatever the fuck her name is What's the bad witch's name in Wicked?

Alphaba? Thank you mister Thank you appreciate it I think she's a good witch at heart And like the girl just started The one who plays Alphaba just started crying And I think the interviewer was like What the fuck is going on heart yeah like the girl just started the one who plays alpha but you started crying and i think i think the interviewer was like what the is going on they should hit them with things because they keep doing it put on a bad spot be like in 1942 32 planes dropped bombs over pearl harbor in hawaii and they go oh it's the first time i'm hearing about this. We're hearing about this. Donald Trump is the president-elect.

Can we do this? Can we do this now? We're ready for the junket. Maybe he asked about Wicked that we got paid $10 million a piece for. Let me ask you this. Who's who in that dynamic between you and I? Dude, I'm Alphaba.

I'm Glinda. I feel like a grande girl. You're Glinda the Good Witch. I can love with that. Yeah, I am the Good Witch. Yeah, you are a bit green. You're literally wearing green. With envy. Men at work, we. Yeah, you are a bit green. You're literally wearing green.

Men at work, we ask you what they do for a living. This is what you guys do for a living? Yeah, then we want to know what you do for a living. Well, off and on. Would you like to sit down with us for a little bit? You what? You curse out old people for a living? Please, give me five minutes. Who are you, Jake Paul? What do you beat them up to?

Who am I? Check 1212. I like that. Who are we here with? Coco. Jake Paul? What do you beat him up to? Who? Mike Check 1212. Mike Check 1212. Good. Okay. Who are we here with? Um, Coco. Coco. I'm G. G. I like that. Not using the government names. I like that. I like that a lot. I like that. Someone's got warrants. That's okay. Um, what do you do for a living?

Um, I curse out old people for a living. Nursing aid? No. Front desk assistant. At a nursing home? No. I can't tell you. What if they're listening to this? You don't have to name it.

Just give us a general area. Yeah, give us a very broad understanding. For a doctor's office. Oh, okay. Got it, got it, got it. Guys with osteoporosis come in and they're the meanest. Who are the meanest? I would think people come in with arthritis are the meanest.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I'd be pretty mean if I couldn't move either. I'm not going to lie to you. I kind of sympathize a little bit. But you can't fix it. What do you do for a living? I tell people what to do for a living. Oh, what's your wrong industry?

I'm an office manager. Office manager. Oh, yeah, dude. Got it. Yes. Do you have a Stanley Cup? I do. Yeah, your office manager does.

Oh, man. Your office manager does. Every time you yell, take a sip from it. It's very authoritative. I like that. Do you wiggle your keys a little bit while you're talking to people too? Yes, I do. I know. You're talking to hands. I've been a part of a lot

of places with front desk assistants and a lot of places with office managers. Yeah. Man, but you keep shit in line. Yes, you do. You got to. Someone has to be a bad person. Get out of line. Yep. Someone has to be a bad person. And fortunately yep someone has to be a bad person and unfortunately no or fortunately you've taken on that role yes i did and you know what if you ever left it would crumble like a deck of cards i think that's right yeah well as an office manager i feel like you can kind of come from like a you're in charge

position being at the front desk like how much are you supposed to take until you're like get the fuck out of my face yeah um she don't take much two seconds you just let them take until you're like, get the fuck out of my face? She don't take much. About two seconds of it. Two seconds at all? Yeah. They just chop them. You just let them know that you're willing to beat them up. You're willing to clock out and go fight.

That's good. I mean, you're getting people in poor health. You really are like Jake Paul. You're just getting people in poor health. You're just beating the shit out of them. I don't think they pay enough anywhere in this world to take crap from anybody. She's beating up on a guy named Tyson. I think you're exactly.

I totally agree with that. But you are. You're the dragon in front of the castle. You're the move. Yeah. You're the only line of protection. Yeah. So you beat them up first so they can go back there and get fixed up.

True. I like that. You give them the arthritis. Yeah. Why not? When you put them in a leg lock. Why not? Who is the meanest group of people that you deal with?

Old people. Old people. They're so mean. They're so fucking mean. Were you out trying to park today? No. Don't forget the doctors. What?

They're mean. Oh, the doctors. No, they're whores. Whores. Really now? They mess around a little bit? I feel like when you're that rich and you're that successful and you're that, like, well-educated, at some point. They're dorks.

Oh, you said dorks or whores? No, they're dorks, but they're also whores. But they're also whores. Yeah, I feel like just, you know, missionaries not going to cut it at one point. You know, you're so successful. Yeah. Sometimes you got to switch it up. Well, yeah, I can't imagine.

I will say I've always wanted to be a sugar baby, so maybe I'll just go to the doctor direction. I tried, but then switch it up. Well, yeah, I can't imagine I will say I've always wanted to be a sugar baby So maybe I'll just go to the doctor direction. What a nice I tried but then I got married. Yeah, it makes it tougher Yeah, well, there's a goal it is me can't score How's that how's office manager life is shit? Yeah. Yeah, what kind of company like fine like what electric company? Oh, man I like doing like some blue collar But they're fun though because they can give in you and you can give it back and they can take it, right? Yes, they can. Okay, so that's fun. Yeah.

Yeah. You don't have to do this PC bullshit. And they don't call the cops on you. That's the good part. Yeah. Not yet. Have you ever had it? All the time.

All the time? Damn. Yeah. People are entitled. They are. Yeah. That's okay. What do you think makes them so entitled? You really want to go there? Yeah, people are entitled. They are, yeah. But that's okay. What do you think makes them so entitled?

They're still free. You really want to go there? Yeah, go, yeah. As long as you want to. We always say that more people should be punched in the face. Yes. I think older people are more entitled because they think everybody has to respect them and respect everything they say and go on from there.

Right. But not for me. Got it. I agree. Yeah. I'm kind of sick of old people. I think once you pass the age of like 58, you have to stay home from there. Right. But not for me. Got it. I agree. Yeah. I'm kind of sick of old people. I think once you pass the age of like 58,

you have to stay home. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes. They'll bring you food. Wait, stay home or stay a hoe? Well, you can do both. That's how you were living back before 58.

Honestly, if you're, all right, if you're a hoe, you can go to 62. You can go at a little bit longer. That's a good hoe age. That's a good hoe age. I'm telling you. You're a sugar baby. So you're like, oh, hoes. You can't get pregnant. Whoever's paying for something. That's a good old age. I'm telling you. You can't get pregnant. Whoever's paying for something.

Dude, I know my grandmother just went into assisted living, and I know she is giving them guff right now. All she did, we went over there a couple weeks ago, and all she wanted to talk about was they wouldn't let her drive. They won't let her drive. Grandma, you ended up on a front yard one time. You shouldn't be driving, okay? I'm sorry. We'll come back every couple shouldn't be driving, okay? I'm sorry.

We'll come back every couple weeks and get you some groceries. I'm sorry. I hope they deny you out there, Mama. Oh, don't say that. She probably, listen, just give her a little fun time in the nursing home. Get her, put her in the wheelchair and go running down the hallway. You're driving! Let her go.

It's a pretty hilly complex. Yeah. You know what? You stop. If it's a hilly complex. Yeah. You know what? You stop. If it's a hilly complex, you push her down the hill and tell her, see, this is what happens when you drive. You crash, that's it for you. 100%. Just have her go into some grass and she'll be like, oh, my God, that was like two years ago.

That's great. Yeah, pray that there's grass. I love that idea, dude. Make them drink and then pull them over, give them DUI in the wheelchair and be like never again that sounds like some redneck shit but I know I know I am destined

for a home and I'm gonna get hammered oh yeah I'm gonna drink every single night me too because I'm gonna have to I already started

so yeah why not why quit while you're already at it that's right you're already good at it yeah you'll quit or you ain't meant for this That's right. No one likes a quitter. You're already good at it, yeah. You're a quitter.

You ain't meant for this world. How long you been doing front desk stuff? Nine years. So you've seen it all. So I'm entitled to curse them the fuck out. I agree. That's tenure. How long do you give the person until you're like, all right, you're on my nerves.

Let's go. Two seconds. Two seconds. Really? If they come in and they're just looking like they already want to fight? Yes. Yes. You judge a book by its cover.

I'm about that life. No. You come correct. You need help. I don't need help. You need help. You're coming in here for a reason. Do you have regulars?

Yes. They're nice. The regulars are nice. Because you beat them down in submission. Yeah. They know that you are. Because they're simply nice. They know. Because they. Well, because you beat them down in submission. Yeah. They know that you are. Because they're simply nice. They know.

Because they're going to get a right hand to the chops if they start acting up. Right. You'll clock out. And if you clock out and you're not on the clock and you beat up a man with osteoporosis, you can't be sued. I just had to bail her out the other day. Jesus. We would love to hear this tale if you don't watch it.

Listen, I'm always in trouble. Guys, no, I'm always in trouble. I can walk out of my house. The minute I close my door, I'm in trouble. Sure. You seem like such an easygoing woman right now. Yeah, you guys seem great. That's why I'm always in trouble.

This is me 24-7. She's on. It never goes down. Can we ask what you got bailed out for? Huh? No. Okay, fair. Totally fair. I work in the corners. Yeah.

You work in the corners? Spending that Black Friday money. All right, let's go. Why do you think we had them all today? I love it. Dude, you're looking for your next victim. Yes. Someone gets in between you and a 20% off toaster,

they're getting one. They sure are. Yeah, I like that. I'm calling the cops. I will turn into Karen in a heartbeat. You brought the right one today. Now, does she ever get after her or is she kind of more? She keeps me in line.

Yeah. But when she's out of line, she's out of line. That's what it is. There's no wheeling her back. Yeah. It's always the quiet ones when they pop off. It's a whole different ballgame. It's true.

Fire. That's true. How's it working with electricians? They're all right. Yeah. It's always the quiet ones when they pop off. It's a whole different ballgame. It's true. Fire. How's it working with electricians? They're alright. Yeah. Lazy. Lazy. Union guys? No. We're not union. Wow. We're a small company. Yeah, private. Yeah, dude. Nothing ever gets done quickly. No.

You get a contractor out there. Yes. Something that can be done in two months. Yep. Six, seven, eight. Charging more than you ever wanted to be charged. Oh, yeah. You paid anyway because the job's already halfway done.

Yeah, really. And you already put your name on the dotted line. What the fuck are we doing out there? They go out to the car and act like they're doing something. They're not doing nothing. Yeah.

We have no calluses on these hands. That's us. That's our dad's fault. We got soft hands. We're keyboard guys. So, what got you into this? We just want to talk to people like you, honestly. Yeah, we want to meet you guys, really.

We want to exploit you on TikTok. You would be shocked at how many fucking boring people we need to do this podcast. Really? Oh, my God. Where do we find you guys at? He's got all the socials for you and everything. All right. He'll give them to you and everything.

Is there anything you want to say? Black out my face. I'm wanted. By ICE. She has a warrant. You're wanted to say? Black out my face. I'm wanted. By ICE. She has a warrant. You're wanted by ICE? Another one. Yeah, I'm illegal.

I'm in this country illegal. Where'd you come from? Honduras. Yeah, but once you're here, you're here. You're here. No, they will peck your ass back up. I thought the migrants were good. Black out my face, please.

I will black out your ass. I will, I promise. Look at, he's like, oh God. I thought the migrants, I don't know, I thought when you crossed him, he's like, oh God. I thought when you crossed over, you win. No. I think you should. I mean, you should, right?

Yeah. No, they still catch you. How long have you been in the country? I'm not even going to say. I was like, your English is so good. He knew it. No, but I am from Honduras. You are from Honduras. Yeah. But if I caught her out and she was like, no, I'm actually illegal, then I'm the asshole'm from, I am from Honduras. You are from Honduras.

Yeah. But if I called her out and she was like, no, I'm actually illegal, then I'm the asshole. Yeah, I was going to say, it didn't check out. People were like, hey, we got one over here. Dude, I can see why people, I can see why you even bailed out. I was going to say, if I'm an old person at the doctor's and the front last date is give me shit, I'm calling ICE right away. I think we got one. And she's being mean to me.

What's the ICE line? That one would be really good. Yeah, it would. And listen, I would put up a fight though. Good. That's what you should. I will have all types of aliens names. I like that.

They would not know. Yeah. I think that's the move. Who says you don't know already? Which one of them? Who says we're not talking? He are talking to one. We know he didn't go government.

But listen, that's my stage name. Are you sure? Yeah. You think this body made it on its own? I can't tell. Now you got me. Now you got my mind. The girl who cried wolf.

We don't know what to believe at this point. Where's your Dallas? Anything you say. We do a wolf. We don't know what to believe at this point. Where's your Dallas? Anything you say. We do a podcast. We have no Dallas. I tried pole dancing. That shit hurts. I give credit to those women.

Yeah. That shit hurts. Yeah. I don't know how they do it. I really don't. I don't either. Underratedly strong as hell. Yes.

Yeah. They are. And they're tiny. Yes. But I have seen some big girls up on the pole. I still don't know how they do it. True. I really don't.

Even more power to them. Yeah. But I would like to do it. It's the power of the dollar, I think. I think it's the power of the dollar. It just makes you stronger. It's like seeing your kid fall underneath a Nissan Odyssey and you pick it up. There's no way.

The baby is gone. The kid is gone. No, no. You ever seen the mom pick up a Chevy Cruze because the kid got trapped underneath it because she has mom strength? No. Yeah. That's the power of the dollar. I don't believe that.

I don't believe that. What's up, man? All right, y'all. It's been real go get some deals yeah please we gotta go get the new toaster

new air fryer yeah crock pot if you see me running down this hallway and the cops behind me just we didn't see anything

trip them just trip them she went that way she went that way we got you y'all didn't answer the question what made y'all

get into this? I think we have a deep need for attention that was never met as children. And now we need a camera to be on us to feel good. That's not bad. Kind of like you have to throw hands with every old person you see. Yeah, that's not bad. I always wanted to start a podcast. You should.

You guys should. I actually don't want you to because you probably put us out of business. Yeah, true. You got that much energy. To be honest with you, they might just boycott my ass because I say some crazy shit. You guys should. I actually don't want you to because you probably put us out of business. Yeah, true. You got that much energy and that much. To be honest with you, they might just boycott my ass because I say some crazy shit. That's what we need. Crazy's in right now.

That's what we need. It is. True. Crazy's in. It's the internet, too. You say anything outlandish, you won't. They're going to be like, nope, she got to go. I don't know.

You say anything outlandish. We're going to be at the next location. We're going to look across and you both have a table doing the same thing we were doing. We're going to have a team meeting tonight. I'm bailing out the nursing home and I'm sending them right over to your table. Put some shots on this table. We've done that many times.

It's hard enough to make sure Paul Blart doesn't ban us from this place. We get kicked out of so many places. What made y'all come outside and do this? We try to go to locations to find a lot of foot traffic. on this place. I know. We get kicked out of so many places. What made y'all come outside and do this? That's what we do. We go outside. We try to go to locations to find a lot of foot traffic,

just people who do different shit and ask them what they do for work. A lot of times in the wintertime, we have planned boards for the inside. Yeah. But yeah, Black Friday, you know,

we knew we couldn't do it inside, so we had to do it out here. Damn. It's a grind, baby. That sucks. That's what it is. Because it's cold. It's cold.

On Black Friday, I don't want to talk about work. No. That's probably pretty fair. We're mixing it in a little cold. On Black Friday, I don't want to talk about work. No. That's probably fair. We're mixing it in a little bit. Like, what's on your list right now? Like, what's your main thing when you go in there? Oh, what I'm looking for?

Just a sale. Just any sale. Just any sale. I know how you can get around that mall cop thing. Yeah. With the alcohol. You know how they have the cider? The apple cider?

Yeah. Spike that bitch. You know what you want some? Yeah. It cider? Spike that bitch. You want some? Yeah. It's apple juice. Guys on a Segway just flying all loosey-goosey. I'm trying to figure out how we can get loosey-goosey. Guy gets a DUI on the way home because he tried to kick our podcast off.

Ruined his life forever. Now he's working a front desk job and he's fighting old people. But that's okay. I'll be there to help you. I like that. Ain't nothing wrong with that. I like that. What are you looking forward to get today?

I already got what I wanted to get. What'd you get? Zara. Zara. That's big in the streets right now. My fiance buys Zara all the time. There's a new package every single time. I know. I need to stop. I'm soon going to be really selling my ass if I don't stop.

You can't take it with you, right? No. You can't take the money with you. True. No. You can't take it with you, right? No. You can't take the money with you. True. No. You can't take the Zara shit either. So you might as well. Apparently you can take it.

If you walk out, they can't stop you. In the casket. Yes. I'll put you in Zara. Yeah, put her in Zara. Put me in Zara. Wearing a sweater that shrinks after the first wash. Yeah, it is.

Or it falls apart, but it's just something about it. I'm with you. Listen, it's cold as it falls apart, but it's just something about it. But listen, it's cold as hell. Y'all need some gloves. Absolutely. When I stop by, I got some stuff in the car. You want a shot?

No. Dude, I haven't, I've drank for the last seven days. That is like a heater without a sweater. That's true. Absolutely. It would be beautiful. It is. No, I've done one or two at a tailgate before.. That's true. Absolutely. It would be beautiful.

I know. I've done one or two at a tailgate before. She was in there when this was our bag. Our girl. We were fighting in there. I know how much you guys love this because you've been saying bye three times. There's a thing about us. We say bye when we go meet up with all our friends. We say bye

like 45 minutes later we we still saying bye. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know. But anyway, this one is for real. Yes. This is a real bye. My husband is at home waiting for me.

I told him I'd give him some ass. Let's go. It's somebody's Black Friday. Yup. I gotta get my money back. All's somebody's Black Friday. Yup. I gotta get my money back. Let's go. All right, y'all. Ladies, thank you so very much.

That was awesome. You guys are great. Do you really just want us to blow your face out? Oh, okay. All right. I love those women. They are my favorite women of all time, dude. Anybody who can just want a punch.

And actually, I want to know what you got bailed out for, honestly. I really do. For real, that was all of my mom's friends growing up that's how i grew up yeah i would just sit around the kitchen listen my mom and her friends just bullshit and that was the same thing yeah it was great yeah funny as hell it's i don't know if i want to say this mom groups i'm gonna say it are typically not the funny ones like dad groups are always the funniest yeah good funny mom group yeah that are like kind of all in the same wavelength they understand that like you know life's a little tough you do need a wine on a wednesday sure you need six more after that and stuff and we're gonna talk shit on the neighbors we're gonna talk shit on girls from high school

we're gonna talk shit at girls at work and the kids downstairs we'll talk shit on them too yeah and that's when i can appreciate people that are like that's like my favorite mom groups my mom my mom can talk some shit oh my mom dude i'm telling you she would talk shit about me and then she'd be like i know you can hear me down there yeah i'm like i can hear you all right leave me alone it really is i know i know i pissed my pants when i was nine jesus christ dude i'm pissing them right now sorry to clean up my my my stand at the foot of your parents bed like i threw up yeah i threw up again i uh no i had that my mom was uh the cool fun friend group and my dad was like i don't have any friends yeah i don't need friends i'm done with that so my my dad was that my dad was your mom and my mom was your dad and

then my dad died and my mom became cool as fuck really yeah dude she went on like a trip like six months later to like the netherlands good for her outside the country never been outside the country once maybe like the cancun or something yeah white trash place like that. The Netherlands, that's not... No, she went to Europe. She went to Europe. She did like a nine-day cruise all around Europe. And I was like, who the fuck are you? Good for her.

More power to her, dude. The closest you ever went to water was like Ocean City, New Jersey. Now you're just going down the River Rhine? What the fuck is going on? You're crossing the Atlantic, mom? What the hell's going on here, dude? You cannot cross the Atlantic. Just by yourself nine days. I was like, dude, dude you hate people that's another beautiful hallmark movie we keep getting hallmark movie stories but there's two ladies well yeah

that is beating beating the brakes off old people at christmas i don't know why that makes me feel something dude when i hear a woman talking about beating the shit out of a guy i'm like tell me more dude old people need to shit beat out maybe jay paul is actually doing something good they're absolutely insufferable every old person i because they are you know what it is we frame old people when we were kids but you don't realize i mean you do realize as you get older old people are now a new group like a new now they're boomers now they're this and that and this section of old people are what millennials think gen z is got it you know got it does that make sense it does okay they are losing and this is this is bad for the olds yeah it's gonna actually be bad for our

parents age they're losing the i was in a war uh credit credibility that's exactly that's a badge of honor for a lot of people that gets a lot of people out of like like if i saw a vietnam vet and he was giving someone some guff i'd be like you know what might have ptsd yeah might have gone to some shit he's gonna do more shit than i even understand yeah if all you did was work at insurance for 40 years you don't get that same kind of guff you're getting a right hand right across the chops i think that's exactly yeah dude the next generation is losing out on that medal of honor yeah badge of honor that they had i fought in a war yeah they're they think they're cold war vets dude yeah dude i'm sorry but working at gmc for 40 years selling cars is not a war no matter what you think about it or not and that's what they watched their parents who did fight in world

war ii and they were entitled but their parents were like yeah i saved the planet i can be a little noisy at mcdonald's all right shut up yeah uh vito said he saw a guy crash out today on a on a dunkin donuts employee because uh yeah couldn't get their order right and stuff well what happened with that don't get on the mic so what are we talking about dunkin donuts yeah your old guy was crashing out yeah what happened so pro tip is i mean if you're gonna order dunkin donuts just do it on the damn app i don't know it's 2024 don't don't be wasting time trying to cycle change but the thing is uh so you know a lot of these Dunkin Donuts there is a

language barrier with a lot of the employees so I've seen older gentlemen usually lose their patience and just start going off on the employees so I walk in I did my order right in the parking lot so I just ordered it I walked in I went for my to-go order and I haven't said a word you know that's my experience I don't say a word in these places this guy's like oh you got my order on oh it was you've already charged me for nine it should be six and then he's like shaking his head like looking around like you know like for acceptance of his like this approval and he's did you accept his approval I'm just watching I'm over there you shake your head yes just watching this whole thing go down and join it like this is hilarious okay and uh he's he's just getting agitated and he's waiting for his

food it's not ready I haven't said a word. My food just comes up right in front of him. I walk right in front of him, just grab my food. So I said I walked out. I'm like, that's how it's done, brother. Dude, I think you should have pulled a knife on Vito. No one eats until I eat. Literally, it's how it's done, brother.

I know he's older. It sounds dumb, brother. Well, I walked into that goddamn Dunkin' Donuts, and I said, order on the app. He went Hulkamania on the four words. That sounds dumb, brother. Listen, brother, I went Dunkamania. That's why I went. Dunkamania.

Very nice. Very nice. You should be a year. I should be behind the camera. They got to do that one some month. Vito, I love you, buddy, but the idea of ordering in my car on the phone and then walking in immediately after, that seems insane.

Yeah, nothing's wrong with just walking in and just ordering something. I do it every day. That's predominantly what I do. Let's go to Starbucks, because Starbucks takes forever. Vito's a points whore. That's what he wants.

He's racking up the points on the app. That is actually what it is. I try to use my... He did drop me off, and he went to the McDonald's right behind me. He goes, free cheeseburger today. He knew. His head woke up. His head pulled off the pillow. goes, free cheeseburger today. He knew. His head woke up.

His head pulled off the pillow. Free cheeseburger today. Dude, I've had this Mark's for a week. Every day is Black Friday for me. I can use it anytime I want. I thought to myself, I need a cheap burger to hold me over. I forget what I was doing, but I was going somewhere. I could just use a free burger

on the way. Kyle was like, hey, guess what? You're driving me. I'm like, hey, well, guess what? We're stopping at McDonald's. Mr. Hotshot over here can't wait two minutes for me to stop at McDonald's. I'm like, well, how much a free burger on the way. Kyle's like, hey, guess what? You're driving me. I'm like, hey, well, guess what? We're stopping at McDonald's. Mr. Hotshot over here can't wait two minutes for me to stop at McDonald's. I'm like, well, how much faster do you want me to be? I did think that was insane. I sat out that conversation, but I watched you guys. I was like, wow, this is too dueling. Guy was literally driving me home, and I gave him the directions.

I said, no, you drive me home first. You drive me home, and you're not stopping for food. Oh, yeah, that's what it was. No, but I took you all the way to Edison, New Jersey. You guys were like, we're not stopping for food. Oh, yeah, that's what it was. We drove all the way to Edison, New Jersey. You guys were like, we're not stopping for food. I never said that. I said we can absolutely stop. Remember, this is good cop, bad cop.

Remember who you're talking to. Kyle's like, we're not stopping for food. And then the pod's over. It's been like three hours, mind you. I'm like, can we get something before we go back on the road? And he's like, I want to get out of here. So mind you, I've already skipped one of your toys. No, no, no, no, no.

No, Friendsgiving over here. Had to go to Friendsgiving. True, true. He had a Friendsgiving that was very important. I budgeted two hours. I was there for three and a half hours. Had to go to Friendsgiving., Friendsgiving over here. Had to go to Friendsgiving. He had a Friendsgiving that was very important. I budgeted two hours. I was there for three and a half hours. Had to go to Friendsgiving. I'm a team player.

Had to go to Friendsgiving. No, no, this is what I, no, I'm going to tell my side of the story. I told Vito that you drop me off and then you go down to the McDonald's on Girard Ave and it's an easy access to 95 where he has to go home back to Delco. So I logistically was making it better for him. So you're saying you had his best interest in mind? I had his best interest in mind. That's complete bullshit. You went to the McDonald's on Gerard Ave.

I didn't go to that one. You suggested hey, you can just go to the one on Gerard Ave. Yeah, dude. I'm not going to that fucking... Why? You think you're better than Gerard Ave? Yes, for sure. I'm better than Gerard Ave. It's Fishtown. Dude, I've gotten there.

I've done a show in Fishtown before and gone to that. Knock it off. Knock it off. Knock it off. There's Fenton, the quarter pounder. Stop. It's not E. coli. You both knock it off. I did not go to that McDonald's.

Dude, you guys got to stop watching so much Fox News, all right? Why? Because they show us what's happening. Nah, dude. Nah, dude. We are cut off in the neighborhood. All right, dude. Whatever you say.

But basically, I was told to skip three different meals, so I was starving by the time I dropped Kyle off. Yeah, dude, we're trying off from the neighborhood. All right, dude. Whatever you say. But basically, I was told to skip three different meals, so I was starving by the time I dropped Kyle off. Yeah, we're trying to build you into a machine. I think I got a cheesesteak at Phillips instead after that. What do you think they do? So you didn't even get your free cheeseburger. What do you think they do in the Marines? They strip you down to build you back better and tougher.

We're making you into a cyborg. Once you decide you're going to do that shit, you have no choice. It's either that or you're just going to be charged, not honorably. Yeah, well, you can quit. This is the Marines. You can quit. You are in the Marines.

You're in boot camp right now. Right now? Yeah, sure. This is boot camp? This is boot camp. That's right. I got nothing for you. I don't know.

I just got to listen to what you got. You're a POW right now. Then that means I have no say here. What's next? I don't know. Have you eaten today? Thank God I did. If it was up to Kyle,

I'd wait another three hours. You have a budget of time for your meals a little bit better. Dude, you just eat. Well, that's why I stopped today at Dunkin' Donuts. You guys were like, oh, I'm going to be late.

I'm like, well, I'll stop at Dunkin' then. Kyle was late. I was running behind. No, I'm just fucking with you guys. I'm always late. That was the first time you were on time

and you still were late, but we were later. That's what we did. It was bouncing out. Yeah. But yeah, long story short, use your apps for Dunkin' Donuts especially.

Look at this dude. Look at this guy. He's anti-Black Friday. Go on the apps. Go on the internet. Go use this. I'm Cyber Monday. Yeah, but he is Black Friday

though. He's getting points to get free stuff. He's constantly getting deals. Every day is Black Friday. I'll be ordering every gift I'm going to be doing for

Christmas on Cyber Monday. Wow. Cyber Monday is the shit. You're going to put the King of Pressure Mall out of business. Last time I came here was probably a year ago. I mean, it's just It's not crazy.

Last question. What do you buy your parents for Christmas? I go hard for my mom and my dad. My dad's always usually, I do a Flyers game, Sixers game, and then I get him some kind of cool dad gift. Do you check the schedule or do you check the standings to see what team's doing worse or you spend less money?

No, no. I go to, well, like last year. No, no, no. I'm trying to tell you. Last year, I gave him a choice. I'm like, do you want to go to a Clippers game because James Harden? Do you want to go to the Miami Heat game because it's Jimmy Butler? We did Miami Heat.

Does he hate both? He hates James Harden. He's so bad, he doesn't even want to watch him play against us, against him. He's like, I want to go see Jimmy Butler. He likes Jimmy Butler. He's the Jimmy over to the guy? Me and him are a big Jimmy guy. As soon as he saw Maxie play, he's like, who's Maxie?

He's like, get Ben out of here. He was always like, I told you guys. What's he think of Jeremy Kane? Because I feel like that's probably a tough one for him. We haven't really watched because it's so bad. Tell your dad about Jeremy Kane. He's going to be the rookie of the year. He likes him.

I sent him his stats and he's like, I like the guy. But he paints his fingernails. Does your dad know that? He doesn't care. paints his fingernails. Does your dad know that? He doesn't care. He does TikTok dances. Does your dad know that? He does know that. But no, TikToks?

Oh, if he saw that, he might be like, eh. That's what I'm saying. You got it. You got it. It's a tough one. Two and what? Can you stop doing that? He'd probably say that.

Yeah. Well, there's three and 14. So much better. You got to ease your dad into Jared McCain. All I did, though, is I showed him the stats of the last five games or whatever, and he was like, all right, well, he's doing good, so I'm in on him.

And you kept out the fact that he paints his nails. He knows he paints his nails. I think I kept that as a TikTok dance, though. I'm three days into college and I'm three days... What is it? Two days into college

and I'm three days behind. Dude, that shit was hilarious. It is. Where are you going to take your dad this year? So I'm not doing a Sixers game.

Sorry, peoples. I already decided it's not going to happen. We're going to go to a Flyers game and I'm just not sure what the big gift is yet. I have to go to Sard Monday

and figure it out. I'll be online. Buy him a gun, dude. Buy him a gun. That'd be sick. Might take me out. I don't want that. Whatever it is.

You want to make him happy or not? Be a better son? But yeah, when I got him last year, I think I said sports games and I really can't remember, but I got my mom like a Roomba, like a vacuum for like $200.

Here you go, mom. Do more chores. I forgot that a Roomba is a vacuum for a second. I know, I know. I just wanted to get your mom to do more chores. I get her home appliances. She loves her home. My mom's hobby is like my home, my home, decorate my home. How many live left love signs? You got me. You got her, I should say. There are countless live left love signs. I'm just kidding. My You got her, I should say. There are countless live, laugh, love in the house.

I'm just kidding. My cursing has gone down a little bit. Significantly, yes, of course. Yeah, but there's a ton of live, laugh, love in the house. And I like to get her stuff in the house. It makes her life easier. I think that's nice. She does some stained driftwood from Etsy.

No, she's not. I mean, like what? Like a decor? Like a nice little wooden decor? Yeah, wooden decor. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I didn't know you meant it first. She's very much that silver, wooden, live, laugh, love.

Sure. Family. Oh, yeah. God. Gotta love something. Yeah. Gotta save for something. Might as well be family.

Yep, for the flag. I'll let the professionals get back at it. All right, buddy. Thank you, dude. Appreciate you. Appreciate you guys. That's kind of fun. Hey, do you want to shout out anything?

You got any dates or anything? Okay. I got anything. Okay. All right, all good. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Turned you off. Go ahead.

Shout out to New Orleans Super Bowl. Whoa, that was bad. Cut that out. You know what? You should have just hit the button. You iced me. You iced me. Yeah, we're all getting iced.

It's fucking freezing out here. Shout out the Eagles Super Bowl run. Let's get it. Nice. Thanks, Vito. I like Vito's dates are like, the Eagles play the Ravens. The Eagles play the Ravens and we really need the number one seed. And fuck the Bears for not winning last night on one of the worst clock management.

Yeah, that was the most ridiculous kick the field goal. If you understand what the hell was going on, it must have been brutal. That's hurtful, but I hear you. You understood how bad the clock manager was? I mean, you did go through Doc and Brett Brown. True. And, oh, God, I'm trying to think of the other one. Doc was the worst.

Doug Collins. Doug Collins, yes. Now, slowly, Nick Nurse. I will say, speaking of... He's morphing into... Maybe some... Do you think the franchise... Do you think the Wells Fargo Center, which is built on ancient burial ground yeah it's got to be an indian burial ground and then they're just the only bit the only

person that could save us is a beautiful young boy named jerry mack with painted fingernails to rescue us from the depths of hell i wish my dad was alive so see that the rookie of the year paints his fingernails and does tiktoks i think that would blow his fucking mind yeah my dad convenient my dad loves tyrese it's kind of funny tyrese maxie was made for dad's love yes james harden was made for dad's hate my dad would go lord is it dri kind of funny. Tyrese Maxey was made for dads to love. Yes. James Harden was made for dads to hate. My dad would go, what is it? Dribble, dribble, dribble. Step back. Throw it at the rim.

I could do that. I could do that. Anytime your dad watches a player and hits you with an I could do that, you know he cannot stand the guy. I could do that. Where's he at on Embiid right now? Got to get rid of him. Yeah.

And then you try to explain the cap to your dad, and he's like, I can't worry about it. What are you talking about talking about yeah you explained to him that he actually can't be traded because he just signed an extension and dads are just like you could do anything as possible anything is possible because my dad will be like what about like a public execution i'm like no i don't think that's gonna do it dad all right fine what about a stoning in the in city halls dad what are we taking this back to fucking ancient mesopotamia yeah then your dad's like you can't stone. He probably loves being stoned.

All those guys smoke weed out there. It's like, all right, I'm going to leave the conversation here. Yeah, you can't fight with your dad when it comes to sports. I just learned that like,

when you just go like, your WIP uncle, that's who I fight with. Yeah. And it's just, it's annoying. My dad is undefeatable because he doesn't argue back.

He looks at you like, okay, you're a pussy. Like, he has no idea what he's talking about, but he gives you a look that you don't. And then because he's my dad, I'm like, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

Yeah. Yeah, because all they argue on is how this generation of athlete is soft. And they're all friends with each other. And it's like, you can't argue that point. They're all friends with each other. They are. And he's softer than, you know, when a safety from the San Francisco 49ers cut his pinky off mid-game

and went back in the game. It's kind of hard to argue that. Yeah, it's pretty tough. It's also, so one of the executives said that the NBA has a trying hard problem, where players aren't trying hard. I'd say it's the most I've related to any job. Yeah, dude. My boss thinks I have a trying hard problem.

You got someone? How are you, miss? Come on. Come hang out with us for a little bit. We're fun, easy going guys. Please get comfortable. Hey, did you just get off? You still have your name tag on. Come hang out with us for a little bit. We're fun, easy going guys. Please get comfortable. Did you just get off? You still have your name tag on. We are still on break.

Oh, you're on break. Oh, we're ruining your break. I'm so sorry. What are y'all doing? Because security at the mall wants to know who's doing a podcast. Now I'm on the podcast. Oh, really? Security's talking about us? Yeah, he's talking about us. Hot on the streets. Tell him we're good folks.

Tell him to come down. Yeah. What's up, dude? He's on the third floor. He'll be down in an hour and a half. I'm going to go find out for you. Yeah, tell him to have some fun. Tell him to...

Tell him he's got beer fish to fry in the mall. There's eight fights in there right now. Don't worry about us. There's 15,000 people in the mall right now. Don't worry about two guys freezing their nuts off at a table. They're at a gridlock. There, that's what he was talking about oh gridlock geez um what's your first name brandy i should have known that from your name tag yeah how about you no name kelly kelly and you guys both were

your capital one i'm guessing yes nice i'm as a card holder thank you yeah of course i do appreciate have you ever heard of the cafe yeah Yeah, we got some in Philly. You do? Yeah. I never went in. Actually, I went to go pee one time. What's the cafe? There you go.

It was the only free bathroom in the city of Philadelphia. So shout out to you guys on that one. I appreciate that. Well, no, I don't like that. I still need the code. I still need the code. You do. You do.

But the Starbucks, even they're getting a little grouchy on the bathrooms nowadays. Yeah, true. So what do you guys do for Capital One? We help people with their banking accounts. So if you have any issues, you can come to us and you can open accounts. We have our ATMs available there. So if you want a high withdrawal, we have it there. And we also just have space for everybody to come and just lounge.

So like you say, like a Starbucks, but it's better than Starbucks because you don't have to bank with us to be in there. And the benefit is you get 50% off your beverage when you use your checking or credit card. That's the only perk you can offer me? Listen. That's a nice perk for me. I'm a gimmick guy. I love a gimmick.

You do a gimmick. I see through the gimmicks. Have you met us? Were you the benefit? You do seem pretty bubbly. No, you guys are great. Yeah, you guys are great. There is no catch.

You don't have to do any banking with us. You can lounge. bubbly. You guys are great. There's no catch. You don't have to do any banking with us. You can lounge. You can work from there. We have our private nooks available. Yes, your cafe is head and shoulders above anything that I've seen in the city. No, it's not about that.

People see the name of the show and they freak out that we're like misogynistic assholes. The name folks at work didn't really stick. So we're like, I guess we'll go with that. They them at work did not really work. A generalized human at work. So this is probably interesting for you guys.

Like everybody's around here buying stuff. Do you have people coming to you like I fucked up? I just spent three thousand dollars that I don't have. Can I open a credit card? Yes. Yes. Already got that today. I got to find a way to put this money somewhere.

You will not be able to get that today, nor can you get the card. Fair enough. All right, then I will not do that. Do you need to check credit score history? Yeah, that makes sense. No, so we are from retail. So we're used to the craziness of a Black Friday working in sales. Now, we're not sales-based.

We don't want to sell you anything. We just want to be there with a space uh like she said come in hang out chill give away free stuff like all day today we're giving away free stuff people are just taking everything oh yeah people love people love a free gift i said one per person that's it nice but it's fun it's a fun vibe that's what they say about the toasters. Got a DJ in there now. Oh, you got a DJ? Nice, nice. Oh my God, that's awesome. Did you, how long have you been with Capital One doing this?

March of 2023. Okay, so you've kind of seen the decline of Black Friday where it wasn't like people like running in and like taking everything. And okay, so it's actually not a terrible time to start, you know. I've been in retail though forever. So I saw like'm pretty old young like her i've been my whole career is in retail so i was at the express where i started hallmark the green card company gap oh hallmark

hallmark that's right hallmark was fun i went to hallmark too first job for her wow and now just selling cards and stuff ladies uh ladies. Gift, yeah, gifts. Gifty stuff? Wow. That's the most ruthless place on earth. But those were the most ruthless ladies I ever met. Really? At the Hallmark store?

At the Hallmark store. Why do you say that? They are savage. When they're in there, you know, they're just privileged. They just want everything and anything, and you have to be at their beck and call. Really? Yeah. Savage.

The older ladies, they will get you. What do they fight over? Ornaments. Yeah. I didn't know you guys had, Do you know what every single Mandalorian there is? Yeah.

Wow. Remember the village people or the, what are those villager ones that people put on their mantel when they're talking about? My mom does nuts for the carolers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Carolers. The snowman. Yeah, snowman. Every single year, a new snowman. Crazy town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Carolers. The snowmen. Yeah, snowmen. Every single year, a new snowman. Crazy town. Yeah, my mom's the same way. My mom is the same way.

She's a Santa person. If you have a Santa that she doesn't have or the 2024 one, she wants it. It's so easy to buy for my mom because that's what she wants.

So she's a Hallmark terrorist. She's a Hallmark terrorist. People go on eBay. How much do you sell your stuff on eBay, your ornaments? Oof, that was, yeah. Ornaments will sell for like hundreds of dollars.

And they'll flip them? Oh, is that what it is? A lot of resale? Yes. Wow. Yeah. We got savvy. We're like, nah, you can't buy 10 of these.

We're not going to sell them. I know you're going to resell them. How do you feel about grandma back there? It's not going to get her ornament because you want to make money off of them. We were talking about old people earlier that they got to fall in line more, but I guess that's kind of right, too. I guess it's, yeah, well, unfortunately, I got to...

You did point to the grandmom, and she was just like, I just like an ornament. It'd be like, she does Ethel. Respectfully so. You give them too much credit. They're mean. The Hallmark terrorists

are not good at her. How funny that is. I'm telling you what, and the grandma's quite lying, too. She doesn't have a grandkid. She's an old lady. She's selling it, or she just wants it for her mantle.

Yeah. True. Yeah. Yeah. Social security ain't going to be there forever. Money's tight. You're not wrong. That's probably the decline of capitalism is when people are starting to flip ornaments. It's like, we've got to make some changes in this country. This is going to be too far going here. Look, check eBay

when you have some spare time. Be like, Hallmark, keepsake ornaments. Thousands of dollars. Well, you'll remember this. We were talking about T tickle me elmo earlier remember that craze people were in the but that was in the classifieds you know the classifieds are no oh my god i'm only 30 only 25 okay so the classifieds are basically amazon before amazon you would put a an ad in the paper about like hey i have this tickle Tickle Me Elmo for like $150. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. It's like before Craigslist, before you buy everything online. I know the Toys R Us story,

horror stories, where everyone's fighting for like Elmo or Cabbage Patch Kids. Cabbage Patch Kids. The moms are beating each other up in the aisles for the ugliest doll on earth. Do you miss it a little bit? No. Not working it, you probably don't. No. But being a part of it on the outside lens, I do miss it.

You do? Yeah, I do. I watched a bunch of, we were preparing for this podcast, I watched a bunch of Black Friday fight compilations last night on YouTube. Oh, those are good. Those are good. It was like nostalgia. It was like going back and watching the Eagles in like the 2004 NFC Championship.

It's like a UFC best knockout compilation. It's really what it is. Yeah. We come from Delaware, so Christiana was my mall when I did things Black Friday shopping. They did the overnight. So we had the DJ. Everyone was out.

That's what I missed. The nostalgia of it. Like just going back out at night. Yeah. If you worked it, I would definitely not miss the nostalgia.

Oh, no. This is my first year not working it. So I'm excited. I just left Gap in August. Wow. Good for you. Had to get out.

You did your tour of duty. You had to go. She said, y'all, I'm not coming back and she got hired by the end of the week with us Really now? Congratulations Worked right here

Where else have you been besides Homework? I worked at Gap and then I was a nursing assistant in a nursing home So you've been surrounded by just ornery older people your whole career I don't know how I did that to myself. Pitch your bill. You need to be the lady we just met.

She's a front desk assistant. She says she's brought with like five old people in the last six months. Yeah. Yeah, we're starting to notice a theme that old people might be the bane of our existence. Yeah.

They tank the house. And you guys didn't say that. We said it. We'll put that on you guys. You know the ones that comment on your podcast name. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you guys didn't say that. We said it. We'll put that on you guys. You know the ones that comment on your podcast name. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Show us who they are right there. Yeah, we wish they'd be more in the YouTube comments and not in the real life comments. Yeah, just put their five-year-olds on to read it and be angry about it. Yeah, Becker's can't be choosers. They don't know how to sign off. So now we have to follow you on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, all that stuff. I swear I might have seen you guys on TikTok.

Because I know the same sounds familiar. We're shadow banned right now. So tell the TikTok people that we're good people. Someone's always shadow banned on TikTok, man. Or Instagram Live. I don't even know what that means. What does that mean? If you guys are listening to this, actually, and you don't follow us on TikTok,

go follow us on TikTok. Because we are literally shadow banned. We've been sitting at 9,200 followers for like two months now. So you don't pop up on the For You page. We don't pop up on the For You page. That's why I stopped seeing you then. That could be the reason why. We're gathering data here.

Crazy. I didn't know that. And I'm all over TikTok. Yeah? Yeah. Well, get all over ours. We need your help. TikTok has...

Are you a mother or are you a... I am a mother. TikTok has a mother. What are you... Well, my son's almost 30. He doesn't count. So you're like my mom's age. Because I'm 30.

Well, how old was your mom when she had you? 64. She was not 64 years old. Not 64. My mom was 118 years old. She was 28. This will also be a weapon. Yeah, she was 28.

She was 28. I was 17. Oh, shit. Yeah. Okay. All right, you're the head start. I'm a little bit younger. So I guess you're a young, cool mom then.

Something like that. Kelly, the cool mom. Yeah, I can tell. I can tell you're a young, cool mom then. Something like that. Kelly, the cool mom. I can tell you're a cool mom. Kids are drinking in the house. I love that. I didn't do that. He didn't drink when he was younger, but now he drinks with me. That's the best.

Drink with your mom. That's undefeated. It's the best thing. We go on trips like Italy just to drink wine together. Oh, that's phenomenal. Perfect. Yeah, I just got back from L.A. with my mom. I've been to Spain with my mom and stuff.

It's the best. Once you turn 18, once you go to college. As I'm saying, I used to do it with my son. Now I'm going to start going with her because my son gets on my nerves. Yeah. My turn. Yeah, that's right. I'll take that role.

The first time you drink with your mom, you find out how annoying your dad is. Your mom gets a couple glasses of wine and she's like, that bastard never took it. I was like, oh, I had no idea. That's a fact. That bastard never waited in line with me at Black Friday. It does not take me two glasses of wine, though. Yeah, I like that. I like that.

Completely sober. I see it all the time. Tell it like it is. I like that. So are you guys going to come visit the cafe today? No, we're going to get the hell out of here and get warm. I know you are because security is coming for you. No, yeah, dude.

I know. That's why I like these girls. We told them to stop. We haven't bothered anyone. Tell them we're good good people we're the coolest guys in the world tell them we're just a couple bros just trying to grind like in that podcast i know he said go figure it out yeah and here we are now we're sitting down oh i got it tell him simon leases this space all right this ain't his sidewalk yeah this ain't their sidewalk i'm not gonna tell him. He's my friend. We've got to stay on their good side. No. But you've got to have people to get along with here.

Unbelievable, dude. She didn't even enjoy that one. I got it. I got it. You didn't enjoy that one. I heard it. You didn't enjoy that one. I heard it. I just kept going past it.

Man. I was like, what? Man. Good try. I know. We're going to go eat our hibachi now. Go ahead. Yes, please enjoy.

You guys are on your break. It's crazy that you stopped here, but we do appreciate it. We really appreciate it. We appreciate it. We're going to get out the craziness for a little bit. Yeah, absolutely. Nice meeting you guys. Yes, nice meeting you too. Thank really appreciate it. We're trying to get out the craziness for a little bit. Yeah, absolutely. Nice meeting you guys. Yes, nice meeting you too.

Thank you so much. Oh, yeah, I know, right? He's the best. He's actually batting 100% right now. Yeah. Usually he has like Andre Drummond from the field numbers. Yeah, you're not lying. The old lady, get her on the show.

Oh, no. All right, we might come in. All right, we'll be there. All right. We'll be there. Maybe not. Warm up over there. I know. You guys do. And you guys do have the best cafe.

And it's free. And it's free. But I already have a Capital One card. I don't care. We don't sell anything. That's true. Good point. It's true.

I like that. Thank you, guys. Ah, there he is. This is the King of Prussia. It's the King of Prussia. Is that it? Oh, come on. We just got checked out by them.

Oh, no, but she said we were cool. Damn. All right. Well, we're going to do an outro right here. Hey, we're getting kicked out by the King of Prussia. So follow us at menatwork.com. Yes. And you got anything to promote?

Not them all. Yeah. So, yeah, come check us out. Follow us. We love you guys. You're the best. And we'll catch you on the flip. All right, bye.

We're going to get this guy's badge number. Peace. Peace. That was perfect timing, dude, because we're done.