Men At Work Podcast - Can You Believe These Office Disasters? | MAW 63

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

The Men At Work crew shares some funny stories and gives some solid career advice. They discuss some work drama and weird workplace scenarios submitted by listeners. Listen in to find out how to navigate a toxic workplace! This is a Patreon Episode and if you like it subscribe to the Patreon at www.patreon.com/c/menatworkpod About Us: The Men At Work Podcast asks one question: What do you do for a living? After that the conversation flows from there. We've talked to substitute teachers, Bangladeshi t-shirt moguls, a real estate broker tight with LeBron James, and the Governor of Literal Pennsylvania. And we'll record anywhere. Random sidewalks during an eclipse, a furry convention, and more! Whether we like it or not, our jobs are most of our lives - might as well yap about it. If you want us to come to your event email us at: [e-mail] If you want more bonus content check out Office Hours a weekly workplace advice show on Patreon that subscribers submit their questions to and we answer them: https://www.patreon.com/menatworkpod*If you subscribe to the Patreon consider subscribing on a desktop or website or an android device, NOT THROUGH iOS (Apple) APP. Apple takes 30% of every month you're subscribed (yea they suck). Follow Us:The Pod: https://www.tiktok.com/@menatpodcasthttps://www.instagram.com/menatpod/Follow Matt: https://www.tiktok.com/@mattpeoplescomedy https://www.instagram.com/mattpeoplescomedy/Follow Kyle:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kylepagancb/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kylepagancbFollow Vito: https://www.instagram.com/vito_visuals/?hl=en

Oh hello, good evening, it's the morning. This is called Office Hours. It's a little thing we're trying out of the Patreon. We're having you submit your work stories, drama, the goopy crazy stuff that's happening and then we give you advice or make fun of it. But we're posting this for a regular little episode because Kyle's on vacation, Kyle's not much of a workhorse. What's up everybody? Enjoy this patreon episode. This is called office hours Typically, this is what we do for the patreon, but this week I was on vacation Working hard and now you get this patreon episode and if you like more of that

You can subscribe to this patreon dollar tier still going on men at work subscribe it's a dollar help me feed my kids that I don't have and So we can do more cool stuff and see if you guys like it anyway enjoy it is so hot out I want three blocks today and I'll tell you what I went Rob Roberto Duran no moss no moss no moss right now yeah how do you think my car nap how do you think my car nap went today? Yeah, dude you this must be a terrible week for car naps I'm not proud of this one But there's a very back part of my parking lot where not a lot of people go and I drove back there And I took my shirt off and I took a nap in my car

My shirt off He wasn't even that bad. I just knew I would sweat through my fucking jay crew Oxford So I had to go sleep shirtless in the parking lot do Maddie. You're half a homeless man It's getting unbelievable. I actually I gotta make an appointment. I need to get free on in this car I just put up the good fight long enough and it's it's like I didn't even get embarrassed It has nothing to do with the barracks, but yeah, it's still just like I need to be convenient Do you feel like though that like you don't know what to do when you're like, oh shit shout out We just got a new patreon member. So shout out to the channel to the boys coming into the patreon. I appreciate you

Oh, yeah, we love you. Thank you. Yeah office hours If you ever want to get in on this and you want to listen to it, it's patreon subscribers only baby We still got a bunch of dollar tears, dude We got tea from the two or three who just came in here as a dollar That's my boy Trevor Harris. Shout out to my boy. Trevor Harris, baby one dollar a month tears What's better than that? I don't know like you're watching your kids be successful, but one dollar month here is still pretty good having freon in your car but what I was getting back to though before we

For talking about that is I feel like I will never understand what it's like to live a wealthy life. Like I'm doing pretty good. I think 22 year old Kyle would be like, you know what, great job. You know, I didn't think when you're making 40K coming out of college that you're ever going to get to like, you know, be able to afford a nice little place in Fishtown and stuff. Yeah. I just feel like I still, I'll still opt for, for the walking 15 blocks over an Uber.

Yeah, that's, but that's more so, I think that's less like the money sense of you and more of you being like, I'm not doing that. I don't think you even think about finances in that scenario. I think it's more of like, I'm not going to let another grown man come pick me up. I can walk 15 blocks. I think it's more of that. I think it's more of a dad thing than a money thing. I'm not a dad. I've never read it. I'm not a dad. You talk about me like I'm a mailman, like I'm a USPS mailman where it's like I walked uphill both ways. You talk to me like I'm a mailman, like I'm a USPS mailman where it's like I walked uphill both ways.

You talk to me like you're my high school football coach. Being like, let another man drive me, let another man drive a car and drive me around in it as a passenger, absolutely not. I just don't think I know how to live a life of luxury. I enjoy being invited places that I do enjoy lives of luxury But I don't know exactly Don't I don't think I would ever understand how to live that how to own that how to be that guy

Go I think what I yeah I read on and what I'm saying I think like how you are as a person as a as a PA guy as a motco guy like I think a lot of people have like a devil and an angel on their shoulders. And you have an extra, that football coach from Matco in your like left ear, who's yelling at you not to get in that Uber or you're gay.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. That's my read on it. So you think it's my gay devil on the, my gay high school football coach devil on my left shoulder I think it's a guy that's trying to get you to the pearly gates and step one is do not be gay about getting in the uber he's just trying to help you out his methods might be questionable

however he has your best intent in mind maybe that's true because this 96 degree heat is killing me right now and you know, but what I hate more is, I'm a summer guy, I'm a spring and summer guy all day. You give me the warm beaches, the warm pool sitting outside, drinking beers, seeing all the honeys and everything, really just enjoy, really just enjoying, really enjoying the lifestyle of like being hot

and being like, like enjoying things. People are already, they're already calling for fall. I can't have people calling for fall in the middle of July. That's a fat boy, that's a fat boy season. I'm sorry, as a skinny fat guy, I can say that. Dude, ding ding ding ding ding, you found a little fat bitch you were looking for. I cannot wait until October 25th.

Why? Give me the fall. We don't even get fall anymore. Bro, there's nothing to look forward to anymore. Summer, we're at the point of summer where it's like this, this is basically like the February 3rd of winter, like where it's like there's no real holidays. There's nothing good going on. There's frost on your car. It snows incrementally randomly. That's where we're at right now. But you still get to drink outdoors with the boys. You still get to go to the the boys you still get to go to the pool you still get to go to the beach and

enjoy that I don't want to be holed up in the in the house because I got seasonal depression and four layers on me dude I have the inverse of seasonal depression that's why I can't relate to this people get sad when it's too dark outside I get sad when it's too fucking bright outside and I'm getting sunburn at the Dover Raceway that burns into my fucking enormous forehead with my backwards hat on I can't do it anymore, dude I'm feeling all the part, but you don't like I've been seeing people being like, you know, people are eating apple pies They're already talking about pumpkin spice and everything. That's crazy to me apple pie and ninety-six degree Weather is insane. That can't be it can't be a thing we can't

be doing as a society we have to put those people in alligator alcatraz do not bring in alcliffe alligator dude those are the people that should be in alligator alcatraz and not the people who've been sitting here since they were three years old just not bringing the law at all so like you're saying if an illegal immigrant came up to you and was like god i wish it was fall right now then you'd have like a lot to think about. I would have to be sure. I would have to Google the ICE number. But only that case.

If they're walking up to me and they've got a spoonful of apple pie ready to go down their gullet, they left me no choice. I apologize, but they left me no choice. Well, dude, I need it to be colder out. Call me Donald Trump because I need ICE ICE, baby. I can't do it anymore. I'm sick of it. It's ruining my life and my relationship What is it about it? Like you're sleeping in your car. You don't have to do that What do you mean? I don't have to do that, dude. You don't have to do that I have to sleep in my fucking car move on to the next segment. Why do you sleep in your car?

Why do you see in your car? Why do you have to sleep in your car? No air conditioning cuz daddy gets hired dude, you know, dude I come on don't do this right now good. This is open up this can of worms, dude This is this is what we provide people you provide people free therapy cuz your company won't pay for it I think and by the way, I'm noticing that the sleeping in the car method is being widely adopted by Gen Zers like myself car method is being widely adopted by Gen Zers like myself. Yeah. Okay. They're sleeping in a, they're sleeping in a, a, a holdout closet that nobody knows where they are. They're not, they don't, they're not sleeping like it's fricking Baghdad in the middle of July in their, in their Honda CRV.

Dude, it does. I'm telling you what I slept when I slept in the car today, I woke up and I wore jeans to work today. Lee jeans, Lee Wrangler jeans, by Kev for Drenched in Sweat. And speaking of the Middle East, I should start wearing those kind of Saudi kind of scarves. I think they cool you down somehow. I don't really know. That's a little Middle Eastern accent. I did actually, someone was walking around with one of those things the other day and I was like, shout out to that lady man She's got no heat stroke in her game Like they've been doing it for so long like he just teaches the the

Teaches the methods if we're if we're going to become a hotter country I'm gonna need to know how we stay cool how you how you cool off That's a great point with global warming really catching up to us We might need to turn to the Middle East to find out how they handle that that arid climate 100% You got ice packs underneath there. That's fine. I won't snitch. Tell me your secrets I don't think they like packs underneath there, dude. I don't think that's how it goes. Oh Remember the under armor technology that came out the moisture ricking wicking one when we were way back in the day? And they were like, dude, this is cold gear,

this is hot gear, you can wear this in 110 degree heat or you can wear this in 32 degree chill, and you'll be fine. They lied, but at least it gave you that thought process in your head being like, I can do this, I can defeat the elements. Because Under Armour told me, click clack, I think you hear us coming

Bang-bang. I'm right around the quarter. Yeah, how sick did you feel in that under armored gear when you're like a pale skinny fat kid growing up? Yeah, throw that on cuz you know, you're insecure about your arms underneath your basketball jersey Yeah, a long sleeve under armor. You're like, I'm basically out of arms and he wears arm sleeves Yeah, that shit was sick. Yeah the turtleneck that showed you every single time terrible You put you told me you put the underarm before you guys have sex Hmm. I have to Ross. I can't finish I say you better cross me over Put the cold gear on me right now

The cold you're all you turn the temperature up and down throughout the entire session And that's what I call making love with my girlfriend. I call it session. I'm tired. I'm tired I'm tired of the heat, but I could take the heat more, but I would miss the seasons. I know I'd miss the seasons Yeah, that's why you can never be like a West Coast guy. It's too nice in the West Coast You need to be miserable Yeah You need to be miserable for like four months a year. My buddy moved out to the West Coast, lost 30 pounds like an asshole. Yeah, he's probably insufferable now.

A great guy. I think I actually know what you're talking about. He's a phenomenal guy. Sweet, sweet guy. He has his wife. I mean, you're losing your edge, brother. You moved to the West Coast. It's all coddled and all sugar and rainbows Yeah, it's crazy

It's crazy cuz you get you get you get hot out there because everyone else is so hot that you look at everybody else You think I can't be a swamp animal. That's East Coast stuff I can't be you know I can hide that shit once again fat boy season allowed to say that cuz I'm a skinny fat guy But falls a fat boy season winters a fat boy season There's a reason why the people who are calling for the fall already are calling for the fall I'm sorry to just just just say it out loud, but it's time you looked yourself in the face. It's because you're fat.

It's because you're fat boys. You're fat boys. What is this new tune from you? I'm not fat. No, no, I'm right. Don't mean don't boo me. Why are you booing me? I'm right.

You stepped on the scale for the first time in a couple weeks this morning And it's sitting in your brain. I could see no no I actually stepped on it the other day I went in on it, and I was like 230 and I thought I was a lot worse Yeah, 230s not bad 230s not bad 230s manageable You're strong. You're an athletic 230 when I see you moving around there. We're doing the pot shit That's a fucking quick twitch muscle fiber to 30. I wear it. I wear it in the in the old stomach That's why I can get away with the fat because I like fall too because you know put on the layers a little bit You know loose clothes and stuff give me a loose fitting like t-shirt right now

But then but on you know, I go on a walk and I'm pretty fast I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I have long legs walk like a gazelle and Sometimes sometimes the wind you know it knocks against my my fat Rotund stomach and I look at myself in a in a nice Mazda Miata to the side I look in the look in the window the tinted out window And I see that they see that my freaking chub is just rolling all over looking like a bag of milk Dude, I when you feel when you feel, when you feel that naval rub against that fucking whatever Abercrombie and Fitch uses, which by the way, dude,

Abercrombie and Fitch, I've thought about this and I thought about it deeply. It is a government Israeli Sia. Listen to me, dude. Okay. Everything Abercrombie makes is cropped and oversized. All right. And I think the government wants our men, I think the government wants our men in this country to be more effeminate. So they decided to make what looks cool be like,

it looks like every guy's wearing their bigger boyfriend's clothing. Okay. I like where you're at. Baggy jeans, baggy crop t-shirt, baggy cropped button down. They want us to look like we have boyfriends and we're wearing their clothes. I walk around the neighborhood, a lot of people we have boyfriends and we're guarding their clothes. I walk around the neighborhood,

lot of people wearing their girlfriends clothes that are actually in the men's department, but I have a counterpoint, what if we go to war? That's what I'm saying, dude. They want bad bitches going to war. Oh shit! So they want us to be hot and and trained killers Dude, I think in their mind they're like we already control them so much

What if we we'll make a lot of bad bitches go to war this time? It's gonna be world war three. It's gonna be like world war three song. It's gonna be the hottest thing on this fucking planet It's not that's what they want. They got us by the biz alls So you think like like does like the camo has become is it has always been like kind of a fashion statement So there's actually kind of you think we're gonna be doing like camo crop tops And we're doing like camo like like skinny. Are we still in the skinny jeans? I know you're the fashion guy I'm not I wear a short in a t-shirt Yeah, yeah, I think skinny jeans are out. I think you got to do like a wider leg these days

What I'm saying dude, like it's gonna be just we're all gonna like going to look like bad bitches going to war. It's going to be like, Oh great. Sarge is serving cunt against today. Like they're coming for us. They know we don't have masculine men anymore. But that is the perfect way to market it though. It'd be like, do you want to be a bad bitch going off the war? Do you want to shoot a bazooka? You want to be a bad bitch shooting a bazooka? That's what I'm saying, dude. And what does a bazooka look like? Offly phallic. Wow. Yeah.'m saying, dude. And what does a bazooka look like? Awfully phallic Wow

Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. I watched the a24 movie warfare two nights ago. It's in my head. Is it about this exact thing? No, it's about the Iraqi war It's just a bunch of hot jack dudes and I watched it with my girlfriend and I didn't like how much attention We've never watched a movie that she pays attention to and then we watch a movie where every dude's hot and Jack And manly and she's locked in I was like you don't look at your phone I don't know she was like no I like the movie. Oh nice cool. Yeah, that was centers the other day Michael Michael B. Jordan is hot you give me two Michael B. Jordans. That's just you're just you're just fighting with performance enhancers Yeah, I don't even know you can put up that fight your Michael Michael B. Jordan is a vampire spoiler Yeah, I don't even know how you can put up that fight. You're Michael Michael B Jordan is a vampire spoiler

Yeah, like are you serious? That's hot. It's that's the hottest enemy It was the hottest monster drag Dracula is easily the hottest monster That's they made hot jacked black twilight. We're so we're cooked dude. There's no coming back from that. We gotta go off the war What's the next war? We have to. Sign me up right now. I'll get in the, who do I want to be? Do I want to be Ukraine, Russia? Do I want to be the IDF? What's the best I've got to, I don't want to be Hezbollah, I'll tell you that. What's the best one I got to survive? I think we stay with the US, but we have to do like a warmup war. Like we need like a layup line war where we fight some like obscure Eastern European country just to get like

What about the Alamo? What if we go back to the Alamo? Yeah, we lost though. Yeah, I know what if we what if we do Alamo to the revenge of the Alamo? Yeah, perhaps that's not a bad idea I think we did do revenge of the Alamo though I think that's why the Alamo is such a such a known thing. I think What country would be killer Jones? No, what country would we need? What country would we need? What country like like a Yugoslavic country? I feel like like the Estonias out there the the Czech part of the old Yugoslavia regime I know that I was I was saw something the other day were like 2 million people in the Baltics or the Yugoslavian countries they banded together through three different states which they are now and they held hands being like we don't want to be under Yugoslavian Soviet regime anymore

and then he turned into three countries. So one of those three like Turkmenistan, could we take Turkmenistan? I think we take Turkmenistan. I think that's our layup line but I think that's to be that's to kind of get ready to fight our bigger adversary. I think Australia's been getting away with a lot of horseshit lately. Why? I think they're a little too cutesy. Apparently there's this like popular trend that Australians hate American people. What? Have you heard about this?

They're us. They love drinking beer. They love grilling meats. They love saying off-color jokes They are us and they don't know why they're not this sick. That's their issue They're like we're doing all the same shit and we're not this sick. We talk nuts We have all the same amenities. We we stole land from indigenous people We're doing the American playbook to a tee and we're still not that sick. They're Delco guys Wow, they're Delco guys You might be onto something there a hundred percent. All right, fuck it We'll take Australia because you know Australia like half of it's like I think 75% of Australia's not even inhabited

It's got more like like the most badass thing in Australia is not the people. It's the freaking animals down there the crazy snakes That's such a bitch cop out dude I heard that argument too where it's like only like the coastal region of Australia is inhabited but like the inland of Australia it's like dude you don't want to go somewhere because there's mean bugs. Okay dude. Yeah that's why I think you're rolling us on that. I think you're I think I think we do the Mike and Drew on Turk menistan. We do some rap lines play uh dilated peoples a little bit you know get ready. We do some yes lines play dilated peoples a little bit, you know get ready

Three man weave on them three man weave on them a little bit get ready touch the backboard because we are white We're about to lose by 42 new McGready, but we do have a sick frickin playlist to start 100% and then we go and we take our talents to Australia after we take over Turkmenistan And Australia's gonna they're not gonna know what happened I'm telling you dude I keep going back to the fact that they won't take over more of their country because they're scary bucks. Can you imagine if Lewis and Clark were like, did we love to expand Westport? But there are really scary scorpions. Yeah.

They're like, man, we'd love to go. We'd love to go east. But the green heads in Brigantine, New Jersey, we just can't fight. You forgot bit by one. The horse, the horse flies down to Savannah, Georgia. They got vampires down there. Hot black vampires. We can't go down there. Dude, Sacajawea?

My God. Dude, Sacajawea pussies. I'm telling you, as a guy who's a survivor, I was... As a guy who's a survivor recently of a beast thing, by the way, I'm recovering fine. Yeah. I didn't check in on you. I apologize. I did not yeah I didn't check in on you I apologize I did not I did not check in on you I apologize I had to nurse myself back to health it was unbelievable I put a tourniquet on my calf to try to stop the blood flow to the bee sting it was a long Sunday and

where was and where was the bee sting located it was on the bottom of my ankle and my left pinky Just a man for Christ's sake some hot guy coming through written house in his camo gear and a bazooka He just shoot your shoot your leg off the care. Oh my god queen. Did you just get stung by a bee? You could sting me bitch, okay We got a lot of submissions today Let's go shout out to everybody Alright if you if you if you want to submit ever once again This is the patreon show office hours basically the gist of the show is that you submit a workplace situation

Do you hate your boss? Do you need a promotion? Do you hate a co-worker? You'll kind of get the run-of-the-mill what we really do here and stuff here and You'll kind of get the run-of-the-mill what we really do here and stuff here and Sorry Mike unplugged middle of that I was rolling to Your cooking you just got to subscribe to the patreon to watch this first of all and then if you do subscribe to the patreon We will read your your situation. You're guaranteed to get your situation read on the program. So I'll give you a layup early. I like that I asked if you wanted to see these and you're like, no, I want to blind react

to them. I like that. Yeah, I want to feel it. All right. This one's an easy one. Quick here. My coworker walks around the bullpen barefoot. My coworker walks around the bullpen barefoot. You know what a bullpen is? No,

what is a bullpen? Like an office like a baseball. Yeah, I know. But we at Comcast, we used to call it the bullpen. We used to call it was basically like where everybody kind of sat and you always had those like fake walls that you couldn't see over. So it kind of separated you from barefoot. Ew, dude. Yeah. Barefoot. I mean, what are you doing? Well, you have a couple of options. He's walking around missing like a necessary garment. You could retaliate by walking around with a missing necessary garment on your part. And it doesn't have to be like your shirt or your pants. If you just go into the office one day without wearing underwear, he'll feel it.

He'll know you're going commando. So I think that could be like a small sure to your pants if you just go into the office one day without wearing underwear He'll feel it. He'll know you're going commando So I think that could be like a small like kind of a like a silent protest. Yeah Otherwise, I thought like you just start bringing up his toes and like start making it awkward for him I would just throw tax on the ground like some of them yeah, just like Kobe and like and then like because you don't want to like you know, this isn't a hell in the cell match. Mankind's not playing. You don't want to just dump a bunch of tax on the ground stuff for him to, you know, step on.

I say you just, you just subtly place tax, you know, might not happen for the first week. It might not happen for the second week, but that third week when you hear that owl and there's a tack going through that guy's foot and he's got to get medical treatment, he will never walk around without shoes on ever again. We should not be walking around. Can we just have some decency, please, people? Why are we walking around without shoes on? That is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. I actually had a story at work recently. A girl that's on our team told us that she was walking around with open toed shoes and she was in a meeting like a big conference room and some dude on another team just kept

staring at her toes the entire time and told her told her she has nice feet no can't do that what are you doing you can't do that that's how you end up in hr no h she took an hr and hr was like confirmed there's a great fucking tootsies Like but that's how you get this guy back dude If he wants to make you uncomfortable you have to reciprocate making him through let him walk around and just like dude Well, the little those things for me. Will you Jesus Christ guys suck on them? Let me suck on one lick come on Do the tootsie pop commercial one? We like to do the Tootsie Pop commercial one or two three. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey

How much looks to take to get to the center? You know what I mean? But then my dick No, you got it because you got to come in confident because you think in your head that'll be the end of it He'll get weirded out. I'll stop. He might come at you and be like dude for sure hundred percent. I just clipped my toenails. You're good to go. I Think you gotta take one of that guys toes. I think you take one for the team at that point Yeah, you have to commit to the bit. Yeah, damn So what we're saying is like this guy's fucking tennis. I guess is landed on like lick this guy's toes There's some thumbtacks on the ground God, I hope his

feet don't smell that would be really rude like I could do it is like your feet are like I don't care about ugly toes I'm not really a germaphobe and that stuff like I walk around you know it's no it's no different than walking around your apartment or your house without any any socks on and stuff but like I don't know if you had smelly feet that would piss me off people people People not being cool in the break room and microwave and shit that shouldn't be microwaved in the microwave Yeah, you microwave some salmon in the in the break room or you or you burn a bagel that piss that used to piss me off Yeah, oh dude. We just had a meeting about this recently and somebody had to get like our bosses had to very subtly massage hey please stop microwaving your

old tuna like somebody this lady that I work with was making like tuna melts the night before and bringing them in and reheating in the microwave and they're like hey you're bringing in like a fish kind of sandwich I just you know trying to do that at home maybe maybe not microwave it. It's subtle, still obviously targeted at one person. That was a meeting? It was like a, it was an email and then they brought it up to passing. This is a shared space.

Just be conscious of the things you're microwaving. Oh man. Oh God. I'll probably say this is, on the life of the show, I'll probably say this a million times, but man, every day I thank myself. I'm not in corporate America that I have to deal with that Dude you have no idea on the boots on the ground. I'm trying to report from the real world. Has it gotten worse since cove it Yeah, yeah, there's no shame

Once you're like the first week everybody was back like kind of done teleworking, there was a lot of shame. There was almost too much shame. People were being like very weird. And then within a week, I feel like if someone coughed, like you'd be like, can you please cover your mouth? Like that would be bullshit. I feel like, yeah, the coffee was nuts the first couple of weeks, but now it's just everybody is walking around. That's why you have guys that are walking around with no shoes because they're like, fuck it. I'm here. I might as well get comfy.

You're going to bring me back to work. You know, I can, I me back to work. You know I get all I could do this job at home We all know I could do this job at home, but if Elon wants me back Elon's gonna get me back He's gonna get me in the private my own home Timmy told me there's porn on in the break room you guys wanna go check that out Alright next one I got bit by a disabled kid that I taught two years ago and still had the teeth marks on my elbow That's crazy The two lines in my defense. I barely bit him No, this was a one of my pals who sent this one over. Yeah, what should he should he be allowed to for reference?

So what I should say is for reference. He's now 23 years old and 250 pounds should this guy be allowed to throw hands you can slap box I think at that age and that size you can slap box he's 23 years old he's too he's a freaking linebacker that's that's that's a first round draft pick in the NFL draft 23 250 pounds Yes, a big boy and that's and we're just talking about stature. Imagine the neck on that guy. Oh He's got a Joe Rogan throw it on him, dude I know he's got a thick bad boy man, but I'm just saying That's why you can't go straight to the physical violence because he'll kick your ass till you die to death So you got it like you got to enter a

sanction game. That's why you got a slapbox What if? Now I don't know what your buddy looks like what's your buddy at your buddy's dimensions on you you know what he's like black What part is his hands or more is more his head half black like what's what's the half black part of them? Probably like his midsection. He's got like a black torso. Okay, so he's got a black dick. Okay, he's got black dick He's got white hands. It's not good. That's not good in this situation, dude He's got pillows. He's got pillows for fists right now. I say well, you know, I was gonna say

You can fight him But you have to put you to tie your strong hand behind your back. That's pretty fair. Okay, what if you do this? This might work. Instead of tying your strong hand behind your back, what if you can use your dominant hand to fight and then the other one you could jingle like something sparkly in front of him look dude this is a live stream for Patreon and then this gets edited out for the regular one

this is a goof session holy shit it's self protection do you think I mean again though like you're thinking about it like we a lot of these situations that we're gonna that we're gonna run into and I feel like we're gonna we're gonna have to talk About this is like we don't know what happened on the back end. We don't know what your buddy did Did he say like always? Yeah, did he say like the rock was better than John Cena? That's a great point. That's a great point. We need to see we need to see the body cam footage to get like a full read on the situation. Yeah Did you know mentally challenged people are mostly left-handed? Oh

I did not know that. That's actually a serious serious stat data Take that I believe you I don't believe I you're not you never been one freaking horse around like that So I know you're being earnest, but I I thought I had heard the opposite I will not the opposite but I've heard that like people that are a little more election intellectually inclined have left hands Or are left-handed. I think that's probably the left-handed people Doing these studies. That's them. That's the marketing of the left-handed Council of left-handers. Oh, that's big left-hand propaganda. You might be right. dude. Yeah that's Luca. That's Luca Doncsic and all those guys out there. Is Luca left-handed? Lebron is. Jimmy Harden, Lebron. Yeah Lebron's left-handed. I don't think

Lebron's left-handed. He plays basketball with his right hand but he does everything else with his left hand. I don't care that doesn't I I I take a slap shot left-handed like that doesn't have you seen have you seen LeBron golf he's right-handed golfing. No I'm well yeah I think he plays sports with his right hand dude that's how dominant my king is. That's crazy but yeah a lot of a lot of uh fundamentally challenged people got left-hands so if you're out there listening to your left-handed, just know The tism is going free. Didn't you want to be left-handed? I always wanted to be left-handed. I thought you were left-handed.

No, I never wanted to be left-handed because you know why? Then you bother everybody when you're like writing and stuff like that was always like my thing like I used to sit next to left-handed kids sometimes in school and like at a table and like you'd be like drawn in arts and crafts or you're trying to be learning cursive and shit and They would fucking elbow you and in your arm because they were on the same side as you because they were left-handed I know but like that's like that's our little thing though. That's their corks or bugs you but that's like that's you're always in their head Or they're always in your head. You're always thinking about them. That's nice. Yeah, but the left-handed scissors. They're gay Only thing that's cool about being left-handed quarterbacks is the worst thing to watch on TV. The only thing that's good about being left handed is being a reliever in the MLB. Like my buddy just had his kid and he's like literally considering stretching his left arm out more

so that he can turn him into a lefty and get him a MLB contract. Because he's probably only going to be like 5'10". True. Yeah. I guess, yeah. I mean it's probably only sports that matters if you're left handed. But I just thought it was a sick little thing. Like my ex-girlfriend. be like 510 true yeah I guess yeah I mean it's probably only sports that it matters if you're left-handed but I just thought it was a sick little thing like my ex-girlfriend my ex-girlfriend my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend I'm not jealous of a single thing about this guy but she told me he was left-handed and I was fucking furious I you gotta you gotta show your work on this one if

you're gonna talk about left-handers like that I think left-handing is gay again I want to be put that on the little graphic that like Yahoo News makes up and puts on Instagram. I think left-handed people are gay. Kyle Pagan. You totally disagree. I think it's a dominant thing. And I think if you are left-handed, you are blessed by the gods. And by the way, if you want to get switched to your right hand, you just need one Pfizer vaccine and that'll just totally rewire all the heart. That's a fact, dude can Google that ask RFK. I'd say if he's got it with his right hand it'll go left he's gay.

There's only a couple things I know I would do left-handed but I won't say what they are. I'm sure one of them you can think about. This is a Christian program. The fuck. The next one. So my contract should get renewed on August 27th But my company got a lot of issues and is currently on hiring freeze all the juniors won't get renewed I've been working for them for three years my HR asked for a one-on-one meeting in presence I guess that means in person. We always typically talk remotely. We never meet in person So the fact she's asking for this specific meeting is weird She also lives in another city. I'm pretty sure that I won't get renewed and this is just their way of telling me

What do you guys think is this the only possibility? You're getting laid off big dog, you know bro you're getting laid off big dog and it might not be your performance it might not be anything about it it might just be because you say things like in presence instead of in person they might just be sick of that fucking horse shit that if you're writing if you're writing to us like you're writing in emails, I would be pretty pissed off I'd be pissed off. If you're doing it left-handed, I would fire your ass immediately If you walked in here and was like I'm a lefty and I'm saying in presence out of here get the hell out here

But that might just be how they talk to they talk from a different part of their brain a place You've never been they live in a part of their brain You never been but what I'm saying again coming going back to the major point this guy's getting fucking fired And I'm so sorry for it dude. You probably have better things ahead of you honestly Yeah, bring your shit though make sure you bring your shit like don't leave anything in over then you're gonna see these people again It's not fun We're gonna have to pay for posters or something like that, and they're gonna make you because they're all cheaped out Obviously they're not doing well economically.

Their bottom line doesn't look that good. So like you're going to have to pay for postage. So make sure you bring everything from laptop to mouse to keyboard to maybe a pen that they gave you one time, because, you know, those cheap fucks are going to say, hey, yeah, true. Where's that pen that I gave you back before, you know, COVID that you never returned you dickhead? Yeah, they're coming for the pen. But I mean, and again, I'm totally feel for this guy, but I've always fantasized about

the idea of getting fired and the like, how, how allowed you are to get blacked out that night seems like such a freeing feeling. Oh yeah. 100%. That sounds, that sounds awesome. Honestly. I have I ever, I might have told the story before about my fired experience from Comcast.

I was gonna ask you, you've been fired before. What was the night like? I've never, this is the first job until I get fired. I've never not been fired since college. I've always had a job I got fired at. Oh, that's not good, dude. Not good. I might lay you off on the podcast

if you keep up your horses. I am a consummate professional of getting fired. I know exactly how to get fired. Well, one for the first one was performance. I was in a sales job. I didn't sell one thing in an entire year. The fact that they even kept me for that long is insane. And then the second one for Comcast was COVID. Um, because I was a part of, uh, recruiting, which is under the marketing spectrum of, of, of the company, which is a zero sum business. We don't make any money for the business. We just hire people.

We actually cost them money. Obviously they have to pay our salaries and the people we hire salaries. So it's not, if anyone out there is a recruiter right now, I would just say, get out of there as fast as you can. You don't ever want to be a part of like a zero sum business because when when cuts come, they typically come for the people who are not making any money. I don't care if you're an executive recruiting. I don't care if you're recruiting college kids like I were. You recruit the best person in the world. They could make your company a bunch of fucking money. They don't care. They don't care. But like getting fired from Comcast during COVID like

Comcast does Wi Fi and television which are two of the primary things that people Home security. People have never needed you more. People were cutting the cord. You were cutting the cord because they're trying to save on their bills, dude We're only getting two thousand dollars from daddy Trump They were trying to cut Or and they cut me they cut the cord I'm a zero-sum business. It doesn't matter

You got laid off from Pfizer during COVID. That's I Was recruiting I wasn't making the vaccine though. I was fine doctors. I was finding the doctors trying to save your guys asses Yeah, you were the one telling us Stephen Colbert at dance with a bunch of syringes. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I was like what if we take this and we put it here and we add a bunch of syringes and they just do a little melody What if they just do a little melody? What if they just do a little? Little leg mess or blah whatever the fuck that lesmer miserable sir. What is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called? Les Miserables or what is it called Is a lot of Hamilton whatever though whatever though. I so dude. Let me tell you my story

Let me hear you my man. So we said this guy's name was Pete His name yeah, I'll just say his first name good nice guy, but we used to call him the Grim Reaper Because if you saw him on the floor Someone was getting let go and like there was a lot of turnover on my team again zero-sum business. We doing college recruiting. Also, we also hired a bunch of shitheads. Like it's just it's just it's the best the bottom of the barrel. And so every time you saw them, it would be like, fuck, just go hide because you don't want to have to have that one on one meeting with him and everything. So we probably lose like one here, one here, I'm there for like a year and a half, we lost like three or four people already. One day we

go into his LinkedIn to see what he he did before He worked at fucking Lehman Brothers during the 2008 collapse So he's like He's like the he's the the Barry Bonds of like firing people. Yeah, he knows what he's doing like this is a 2008 collapse Lehman Brothers he fired people and then lost his job himself like he is the he is the the Ayatollah of firing Like yeah, he's a he's a blue-haired woman working at a Planned Parenthood. He's totally cold with an abortion every now 100% he watched people he literally watched the life From people's eyes leave their bodies their 401ks be nuked, their stock options be nuked because we couldn't freaking, we

couldn't keep the banks going and stuff. So like seeing him, like every firing was just another like, here's your package, severance for a couple months, blah, blah, blah, blah. So we go into COVID and I'm probably still around for like seven, eight months. Well, at this time I'm living with technically my boss. So bear with me. This is a conflu... I know, I know. So my boss, Jim, who actually is listening to this, um, my buddy, Jim, from the, you've seen him, you've been down in Wildwood. Uh, yeah. Yeah, so like he's gonna be in my wedding, like his future wife is officiating the wedding and stuff.

So like we're like, we're tight and stuff. And I moved home with my mom, but he was like, hey, why don't we get an apartment together? And I was like, yeah, whatever, blah, blah, blah. It didn't really matter because like when my boss transferred departments, she left the team transfer departments and they kind of asked me like did I want the job and my response to my boss at

the time was like if I'm here for another year I'm gonna blow my fucking brains out which again getting fired is actually Some of the best feelings in the world because you are you do have a weight lifted and in my case anyway I don't I never had a fun job that I really liked so getting fired was kind of always like this sucks, but At least I can do whatever want to do for the next two months But at least I can do whatever I want to do for the next two months. Anyway, so thank God that guy, shout out to that guy. He never got HR involved on that, even though that's probably like the number one case for getting HR involved. Yeah. Telling someone that so, but so they knew, they knew I wasn't a prospect for the job is really what I'm getting at. So they were like, Hey, my buddy's working on the team. How about they pull him? We've already got a pretty good relationship and stuff. Bang,

you become you become the boss, you become the head of campus. Campus recruiting, I think is what we call it. I was like, Drexel co-op to stuff. So I'm living with my boss at the time, where he works upstairs, I work downstairs, cohesive synergies, all that stuff. We were getting along, we were making out like bandits. It was awesome balls bandits bandits Bits

so I get we get a We get a meeting on our calendar. It's it's my buddy Jim, who's my boss and then our boss's boss. And they're like, you know, just a run of the mill, like, hey, just wanted to, like, you know, talk to you guys, see how the campus recruiting's going, see how the program's going, see where our numbers are and everything. And I'm like, yeah, whatever. But I can't believe I have to go on a fucking meeting. I'm already basically stealing money at this point

because I'm working on a hundred other things that I'd rather be doing Yeah, so He takes the meeting upstairs. I'm taking the meeting in the living room all of a sudden he pops on all of a sudden his boss pops on and Then out of nowhere the Grim Reaper pops on Dear God, he rises from the dead and I just had I just started laughing because there's no because it was like it was like everything that we always talked about like don't be the one to get caught by the Grim Reaper is like

what just happened so my boss's boss told my buddy Jim be like you can leave my buddy Jim had no idea that I was getting fired I was gonna say he did he didn't know but I guess you know and trust me I fucking grilled his ass. I was like, did you know about this? That's the only thing I want to know. Did you know about this? Yeah. Yeah, and so it's like, you know good Don't say you're looking for like that Godfather moment where it's like you fucking I love you or something It's like I loved you freedom and so like you know it goes by get fired separate package you're doing this you're doing that I'm just kind of

like sitting on the couch and he just comes out of his room he goes I had no idea like you're fucking liar now before that now I wasn't mad I really called my mom and the first thing I did was call my mom which looking back on it is like the gay thing of all time but I call my mom was like yeah I just got fired she was so she was so she was so scared for me it's like mom I guess it's like I got too much severance baby that's the best part is that too much of severance that fun employment is some of the best times I've ever had I met my I met my fiance literally that weekend that's gonna my question. I've never been a part of a severance package. Like is it in your head? You're like, all right, two weeks.

It's having fun guy time. It's like kind of was in your nuts. But I'm saying, I mean, at some point you have to look for a job, but do you got to budget out like two weeks to be like, I'm fucking goofing off. Yeah, 100%. Like, yeah, I mean, you you have I mean, I live like, I lived a great it was right around Thanksgiving and Christmas. So I think there was a little bit of a you know, like you got to buy Christmas presents stuff for your friends and stuff. And now, senior, but like, now I mean, severance, severance is the way to go. Like I would say it didn't really kick in until like a month and a half. Like when I was Like staring down the barrel of like the last paycheck in a couple weeks

I was like, alright, we should probably get my shit together but I was in another I was in another situation because I was Doing what I do now and I was like, I'm just gonna go bartend. I'll get on government cheese I'll get on health insurance. I'll get on like government health insurance and stuff. I'll bartend and then we'll just we'll just We'll call it. We'll call it. We'll figure it out until someone picks me up That's what I'm saying. You pigged out on the set dude If I if I had two months of severance, I would enjoy a week and then I go full anxiety I'd be like I'm a fly I have to find something quick you waiting to the last two weeks you had left is I don't know

How you do it? I knew I was gonna be bartender. That was my life dude. That was my calling That's the only that's the only job post-college I haven't gotten fired from In the system I'm gaming the system damn you really might be you might be your own government sigh-off All right now listen looking back on it, were there some sleepless nights? Were there some sad days? Yes, there were. Okay, there were some pretty bad, dark days, okay? I got lucky. I got lucky. Yeah. Worked hard to get where I got, but I'm just saying, I don't recommend anybody walk into their bar's office and be like,

give me two cups of severance, bitch. I'm out of here. Okay, listen Listen this heel turn dude Seconds ago you're like severance is the way to go. It's ever since the way to go. I'm telling you know people You just told people get fired and you will meet a fucking fiance. That was your That's crazy, but it's better than half the advice people are given on the internet nowadays like the people on the internet are like, all it is is just like one Jew versus 20 racist people. That's what the internet is now.

It's like 20 midgets versus versus one six five guy. And they just like to just fight. You had your own jubilee. It was one bartender versus 20 junk patrons at 2 p.m. on Tuesday. One unemployed guy versus 20 bills. That was me. Dave and you came out looking at you dude you came out on top. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of corporate America. Still unhappy.

God that's too good. Oh man you probably You probably never been fired. You're good. Oh, you're a good old corporate boy Yeah, follow my My aloofness that I might a protrude. I'm a giant pussy I couldn't imagine if I got even close to getting fired. I would be the best employee of all time because I can just turn it up Yeah, that's a good quality though. To make yourself look like more important than you really might be. Like brown, a little brown nose in a little bit.

Sometimes you got a brown nose. Not even a brown nose. I just, my only skill is I know. I know when I'm going to get fired. The only good skill I have at Court of America is I know when I'm close to getting fired. That might good skill I have at Court of America is I know when I'm close to getting fired. That might be what it is because

I've in every relationship I've been in, I've been broken up with. So I think I've gotten used to feeling when these things are on the ropes and I need to find out an exit plan. See, that's yours. That's your that's your getting

fired because I've never I've always broken up with girls. Yeah, I got my heart got my heart ripped out in high school and I just went nuclear being like never again made a burn a CD Coldplay George straight little fray how to save Jason Mraz little how to save a life oh that's a tough one dude That one got me, bro. Dude, being broken up within high

school is what started my Drake fandom. I got I got dumped and cheated on within like a month of Hotline Blink coming out. He's my guy for life, dude. I knew when I said I'm you're hanging out with friends I never

seen before. Dude, that's so funny because I actually broke up with a girl when Hotline Blink came up and I still my worked brain made it like sound like I was like blaming her during Hotline Bling and I remember that you're hanging out with girls I'd never seen. You're hanging out with girls I've never seen before like every time you hit that note. And the worst part of my hotline never bling she did not call me a single time after I would call her I would get drunk and call her that's a beast move yeah we went on and off for three three times it was it was crazy it's crazy it's crazy that's how it is that's how this one starts with is my

co-worker racist this might be our last one we only got about 12-15 minutes left I'm a 23 male and have been thinking about this weird interaction I had with my coworker so one night I was taking her home because she didn't have a ride anyway I like listening to Mexican music because not only is it my favorite genre of music it also helps me get through the day and keeps me going she asked what I'm listening to and I told her it's Mexican music. And she just replies, why? Yeah. I say, because it's my favorite music.

She replies, you're not Mexican by the way, if you're wondering, I'm black. Okay. So I say, I don't have to be Mexican to listen to Mexican music. That's like me saying, you have to be black to listen to rap music. That's fair, that's a fair rebuttal. I disagree, but go ahead. Okay. Maybe I didn't read that right then.

She says, whatever. So I just turn my music in my car back up for obvious reasons because I'm listening to music I like. Also, she's white and has a fling. Also- I can't imagine. If somebody somebody telling you they don't like your music and you go whatever and you turn it back up and it's like fine if you're gonna be a bitch if you're gonna be a bitch I've got Daddy Yankee queued up for the next 17 songs all right I hope you like I hope you like every gasolina remix ever created

It's like hold on. This is my favorite part. It's just like three Guatemalan dudes in a mariachi band She's like can you just stop me off here? That's fine. I'll walk I Mean that's what you do you you hire a mariachi band to the to work You have to we haven't we haven't asked about he hasn't asked about who what what it hasn't asked a question yet but I think so I might just be it might just be you hire a mariachi band to work to hire to the break room and just ruin this girl's lunch also she's white and has a fling or whatever with a black dude and uses

the n-word loosely that's a tough one. I just keep my distance, but anyway, I want to know what you guys think is my coworker racist. Um, what is she, what does she think about the Sydney Sweeney new ad for the jeans? Where did she fall on that? Yeah, that's a great point. She's exactly what she wears.

Pull up a picture of Colin Kaepernick kneeling and just document what her first reaction to the picture is. Maybe kneel in the break room and see what she does. Yes! Go kneel and you're going to tie her shoe. Play the national anthem on the PA system and then kneel and see what she see what the first thing she says to you there's so many I mean like anything yeah yeah it's like of course you did of course of course he robbed those guys in the hotel room who stole his memorabilia I was like ah dammit we

didn't get her we didn't get her on this one Yeah, she's slippery did I I'm gonna tell you look the city's we anything might be right because you've got to keep track Of what kind of jeans she's wearing it if she's wearing the American Eagle you have your answer But if she's wearing Levi's the spokesperson is me on hey It's a little it gets a little more complicated What if she's wearing like Hollister or aero pastel? Dude what if she walks in with like a white beater and baggy jeans shorts and a durag and then just throw this guy for a loop Then she probably gets to go

She probably gets to enlist right and go to war Well, he almost got his answer because he said that in the car that and go to war? Well, he almost got his answer because he said that in the car that The thing about like if you're black That's like if you're saying like you can't listen to rap music cuz you're white Yeah, she was like I don't listen to rap music cuz I hate those guys So you might have just that you really if she didn't respond to that you might you're gonna have to dig a lot deeper Then you would have anticipated. Yeah

Yeah, you can't be telling people at the work. You can't be telling people at the construction side of the warehouse or The office that you work in that she's a raises until you figure out these I think we gave you Perfect advice right there I think we get like you have so many chambers in the bullion so many bolts in the chamber right there to decide to just you know put a there's like a picture of her and her boyfriend and to just, you know, put a there's like a picture of her and her boyfriend. And you're working like in an office setting and it's like in a picture frame,

replace it with a picture of Colin Kaepernick. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Replace it with a picture of John Thomas and that guy from the 1968 Olympics with their hands up and see if she even noticed their fists up and see if she even notices. There's so many ways. I mean, you already have this lady loosely uses the n-word that should serve a lot of evidence for you brother boy black boyfriend

Like are you allowed to get the n-word pass from the black boyfriend? Hmm, it depends if he's an anime black boyfriend. I don't think he has it available What if he's like a gold state warriors, I love NBA on TNT, black boyfriend. That's still kind of an anime boyfriend, you gotta be careful. What if he's an Atlanta Hawks fan? He can give you the pass for sure, he can absolutely give you the pass.

Lakers? No, that goes back to the Mexican, that's the Mexican guy listening to the music, that's a Lakers fan, that's Mexican. That's the Mexican guy listen to the music. That's Lakers fan. That's it that way before for him The Latino population who loves our Los Angeles Lakers that goes back to them but yeah, I mean this lady is a hundred percent a psychotic racist and she she's like racist in the fact that like her dad definitely is and

She wants to bang a black dude so bad, hence the black boyfriend. But she still holds all that, she can't assign the vitriol in her heart anywhere, so she does it by listening to like, well I can't be directly racist to black guys, so the next best thing is Mexicans. And that's where she landed, that's why she does not like the music.

Got it. That's fair, that's a good philosophical answer. I just want to know where in her life What was the event in her life being like if you're not? Polish you can't listen to polka music Like I just want to know where like where that like what's the what's the intersection of that? Like where do you find yourself and be like hey listen, dude? You're listening when do you think people of Bella like, Hey, listen, dude, you're listening to the favela.

Well, yeah, that part is nuts. And as a black dude listening to strictly Mexican music, that does seem kind of nuts. If you don't speak Spanish, and I mean this in a totally non-Christian way. Yeah, that's fair. You're effectively listening to J.B.R.I.S.H. In the same way, if a Hispanic person was listening to an American song and they didn't speak English, it'd be like, you're just listening to noises out of somebody's mouth. What if it's Bad Bunny though? I know he's Puerto Rican, but like, he's also Spanish speaking. Like, what if she's just like, this is Mexican music, it's actually just Bad Bunny.

True, that probably is what it is. It probably is that. I think he's Puerto Rican. Yeah, but like... Careful. I'm just saying like a lot of people, not me, would throw Daddy Yankee and Bad Bunny in the same stratosphere, I think. I think that's fair, but I I mean, that's what we gotta find out if it's like traditional Mexican music, which I've heard like a lot of the bros bop. And it's got a nice beat, it's got a nice rhythm to it, I can understand. Paiso Plumer? Awesome.

Don't understand jack shit, but awesome. Aw dude, but I mean. There's another woman, there's another woman who's like huge, like Brazil, don't understand a word of it, a lick of it. Like Nada or woman who's like huge. I'm like Brazil Don't understand a word of it a lick of it like nada or something like that I forget where her name is millions of followers on on Instagram hot. Yeah, but don't understand any of it But I totally sympathize I mean, but it would be funny if he was listening to like people who was speaking perfect English true I can turn this Mexican horse it off and he's like, what are you even talking about?

What is mr. 305? What does that translate to? Niska, Niska 305. Damn. Yeah, dude, I mean, that's, she is, I think this is a pretty overtly angry, racist woman. And I would steer clear. I, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not ready to put my thumb down on on this on this woman. I well again

We don't know the other side. I think you have to use a hypothesis you have to do exactly what we told you and just see your reaction to Colin Kaepernick kneeling a picture of that Take taking taking those two guys racing their fists from the 1968 Olympics and putting it in where her boyfriend used to be No, I agree and she might tell you like the 1941 Olympics and be like, that Hitler guy was not... 100%. Yeah. And then you cast a spell back to her and you show her a picture of Jesse Owens running the 100 yard dash. Is that not beautiful American stuff? That's a beautiful American right

there, an African American gentleman. I mean, we are just, we are dueling wizards right now. You gotta, dude, ask which college football team your dad follows and that'll tell you everything you need to know. True, if it's Vanderbilt, racist. UCLA, racist. If it's USC. But then you might get into the weeds.

If it's USC. USC, like a Scott Carolina. USC, she is just a good old a good old Christian girl It's all miss if it's home if it's all miss. Oh my god She's an old miss. She's an old racist miss. I don't I think this we're giving her too much credit, dude She is if it's all miss you you've got a you've got an issue. You've got an HR issue on your hand We got time for one more. Yeah, still.

A co-worker in the same apartment complex wants a ride. My co-worker just moved into the same apartment complex where I live in. That's awful. My fiance's good friend almost moved into the same building we are, and I just blatantly was like, thank God. Thank God she did. It's crazy. I would never want to live anywhere that my buddies are in the same complex. Um, she lives quite a ways away, but still in walking distance from me. Last week, Thursday, I was helping this fucking complex last week, Thursday, I

was walking to my vehicle and I hear my name being screamed many times through the air. It was my coworker from her balcony. She was yelling something else that I couldn't quite hear, but I was leaving for work and didn't have time to stop by. She was needing a ride to work. She was just, she was just, she was just, but I was leaving for work and didn't have time to stop by. She was needing a ride to work. Okay, she dodged a bullet there. That Friday she screamed my

name again as she was walking towards me. Now she's just waiting for you to get out. Yes. That's crazy. She's timing. She knows when you come out. She's sitting already like an hour before. Oh, 100% she wakes up early He just watches you from the window watches that door open For apartment a yelling that she needed a ride to work I told her that I could bring her but I couldn't bring her home and I won't be able to bring her this week That's the tone. I like that Honestly, I'm not comfortable at all with her just showing up to my vehicle and expecting a ride nor scream my name from afar

It's not a proper way to act. She was getting a ride from a co-worker, but they got into a tiff shocking Okay, her supervisor has offered to pick her up before I've been thinking today that this is going to happen again tomorrow and I'm sorry to say but even if I'm headed straight to work I won't be giving her a ride. I'm a loner and I like being by myself on, on the ride to work. I do too. I'm a hundred in this guy. This guy is a hundred percent.

Right. I don't think, I don't think anyone out there listening is like, I think that's like a crazy thing to say, but this guy is a hundred percent in the right. There was nothing better. Even when I'm, even when I'm grinding with my fiance, I'm like, damn, I could really crush a podcast right now Or I could really crush like my music right now Yeah, I mean look as a guy who I give my co-worker rides home all the time, dude

a lot of my finish Yeah, my co-worker whole last for a ride home will like finish recording a podcast and then my co-workers always like hey Fuck you, dude, I walked right into that one. That's crazy. I couldn't believe it. Oh, I was excited. Oh, you had me as a hook, line, and sinker. You had me.

And there's nothing wrong, dude. Sometimes those rides are the nicest times of your friendship, dude. Sometimes you got to give your coworker a ride. Yeah, because half the time, I'm filling you in on shit. I'm like, oh we gotta do this We gotta do that. We gotta do that. What do you think about this? Do you think we're doing this right? But that's just me talking the entire time. It's Matt just being like, yeah Yeah, and then I'm the I'm but it's not fair because I'm the worst person to ride with and we talked about the podcast before

I'm just Yeah, you drive like a beautiful woman. It goes back to my theory that you live like a hot woman. You also drive like a hot woman. That's unbelievable. No, dude. Hot women. No, dude. Hot women do not obey the law. Hot women are the worst drivers of all time.

You get a hot woman, a white Volkswagen, scariest person or the silver Volkswagen Golfs back in the day. So many hot women drove that. That was the worst. That was the scariest race in the world. I had an ex-girlfriend that drove one of those scariest place scariest person in the world to drive with humble brag on your ex hot but the

minute the minute hot women find out about hydraulics we are fucked as a society the minute the minute that last guy's co-worker starts pulling up well this is full circle this is full circle that you don't want to drive with you get hydraulics and play fucking Mexican music When they get in the car, I guarantee they'll never This is the co-worker this is the POV of the other person the lady getting in the cars That would be all time. Could you imagine like your belly full of like, I don't know eggs and you just and you're getting in the Would you imagine your belly full of eggs and your and your your belly full of eggs and your and your your your co-worker is like yeah I just had to get some improvements to the car over the weekend and all of a sudden he's just going and your and your your stomach is just absolutely in the beast that

would be because you're getting in the car you're getting in the car you just had your belly full of eggs you had a hot cup of coffee you put your first in another day you're about to shit your pants and you just see a bouncing vehicle go You're like I'm not mad enough for this I'm not this guy and the guy doesn't tell you that's gonna bounce in your coffee is actually a little bit open so it Spills all over you like it's like that's just the at that point that guys That's just the sacrifices you got to make to make sure this person never ever ever drives you dude I know it's tough out there for a pimp nowadays and stuff, but people find your own

Transportation this goes back to everything I Not now but back in the day, dude. I would never ask for a ride home. I Bus I'd rather take the subway like I would never I never like putting people out I'm the same way I can't ask for a ride I feel so deeply uncomfortable asking yeah well not anymore I've grown out of that yeah I know you got anything else for report no that was actually I think that's a nice little capper for the yeah we actually a couple we're should a couple more so we'll save them for next week

yeah I like it nice well hey. Thank you for for tuning in We'll save this for the end of the pod. This is actually gonna come out during the week. I'm gonna be down at the beach So we're not gonna be able to record this weekend So I apologize, but I hope you get a little taste of the patreon and I hope you consider subscribing Like I said, we got dollar tier still left for the first 50 people that subscribe. I think we got like 40 some left, five dollar tiers, which are pretty manageable for a lot of people, those with cars. Um, and you know, we'll just be back next week with a couple more.

Keep sending your submissions, men at pod, tick tock, uh, Instagram, all that stuff. Email us men at podcast.com. Text us. There's a phone number. I don't know right now at the top of my head, but there's a phone number in the description of this on the on the YouTube and on our regular episodes and then just turn into tune into the tune into the show and leave a comment for us so we can start interacting with you boys and make the the algorithm per so all right we appreciate you guys for tuning in take it easy anything you want to say Matt I'm sorry now the one dollar tier is the pay veto tier the five dollar tier is now the game tier All right. We appreciate you guys for tuning in Take it easy anything you want to say Matt. I'm sorry

Now the $1 tier is the pay veto tier the $5 tier is now the get free on in my car tier So help have a brother at I'm sleeping shirtless in my car help We'll talk to you you