Men At Work Podcast - How to Survive a Hangover at Work

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

Kyle Pagan and Matt Peoples are brutally hungover at Spruce Street Harbor Park in Philadelphia asking people what the best way to beat a hangover at work is. We have a bartender and stylist who tells us all about the elegance of smoking, is the younger generation good tippers, and how she doesn't understand furries. A teacher and her boyfriend who works in loss prevention at Target talk about fights in school, why everything is locked up in stores, and surviving hurricanes in Florida. Finally, we have a woman in fashion marketing and her physical therapist boyfriend who might drop the L word by the end of the show... 00:00 - Describing the Brutality of Hangovers 4:50 - Bartender/Hairstylist Talks the Elegance of Smoking 30:52 - Target Loss Prevention & Teacher Breaking Up Fights 46:42 - Kyle's Comedian Pet Peeve 55:20 - Fashion Marketing & Physical Therapist Fall in Love Check out our sponsor Thrive Flower! Thrive sells real cannabis products outside of the medical system. They have 9 strains of flower, 6 strains of pre rolled joints, 4 strains of vapes, gummies, and lemonades. They are the first and only company offering same day cannabis delivery within Philly. Order your cannabis at https://thriveflower.com/ and it will be delivered in about an hour. Use code menatwork15 for 15% off orders. Simply choose “same day delivery” during checkout. This applies for Philly residents ONLY. About Us: The Men At Work Podcast asks one question: What do you do for work? After that the conversation flows from there. We’ve met substitute teachers, Bangladeshi t-shirt moguls, a real estate broker tight with LeBron James, and more. And we’ll record anywhere. Random sidewalks during an eclipse, a baseball game, a bar crawl, casino, and more. We like to find out what people do for a living. If you want us to come to your event email us at: [e-mail] APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/men-at-work-podcast/id1373108039 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/4XcFWt0I6gFvMotqDp5bsZ?si=2273debc08e5485d If you want more bonus content from every episode check out our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/menatworkpod Follow Us: The Pod: https://www.tiktok.com/@menatpodcast https://www.instagram.com/menatpod/ Follow Matt: https://www.tiktok.com/@mattpeoplescomedy https://www.instagram.com/mattpeoplescomedy/ Follow Kyle: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kylepagancb/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kylepagancb Follow Vito: https://www.instagram.com/vito_visuals/?hl=en

Three, two, one. Welcome back to another episode of Men at Work. I am Kyle Pagan. Come on, get the energy up, Kyle. I'm Kyle Pagan, as always. I'm joined by Matt Peoples. Matt, where are we right now? I don't know, and I'm scared.

No, we're at Spruce Street, Harbor Park. They were nice enough to have us over. They're so nice. They are the sweetest people. They brought us into a bar, which is a little apropos. If only they knew the things that were happening inside of our bodies only a mere 15 hours ago.

This episode's gonna stink. This episode's gonna rock out loud, dude. I'm so hungover. No. I feel pretty horrifically bad, dude. My legs hurt. I'm so hungover, my legs hurt. Wow. That doesn't feel like a thing that could happen. I was out there.

I was tying them on. You know what it is, dude? I start drinking, and then I start hitting good social moments. Are you mixing? Huh? Are you mixing? Are you mixing drugs? Are you mixing alcohol?

No, no drugs. Straight. Just keeping it like... You should get drug tested after you drink. No Addy? No nothing? Nothing. No hitting a pen?

Taking an edible? Just beers and zins, baby. Well, I guess you are mixing technically. Nicotine is a drug. I don't know if it wakes you up or takes you down. Nicotine, we've talked about it in a prior episode. I started doing zins and people ask me what it's like. And I'm like, yeah, you just feel generally uncomfortable.

What's it like? Have you had a cigarette before? Cigarette? Why'd you say cigarette like that? People look at zins like it's this this crazy breakthrough and like in in nicotine technology yeah it's just smoke a fucking cigarette people have you not have you smoked a cig before my god dude the first time i ever i've bought cigs yeah i smoked an entire pack and i never went back yeah you're like me where it's like i can't just do one it's a bag of chips dude i can't simply just have one i've

literally the first time ever i chain smoked in like Wildwood. I felt it. I felt the spirits. The spirits were in your hands. And the funny thing is I was 18 and 19. It's 19 in New Jersey to buy them. And I didn't know that and stuff. So someone actually had to buy them for me.

And then I just smoked an entire pack. And I woke up with the worst, like my mouth was like torn apart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, I'm never doing this again. Did you, like when you finished the pack

where you're like, I could use one more or were you kind of like, oh my God, what have I done? I had the sexiest voice of all time. Really? Yeah.

Give me an impression. Hey, how are you? Hey, how are you doing? Hey, this is Kyle Pig. Hey, sweetheart. Hey, what's up, guys? You want to come on the podcast? I smoked a pack in Wildwood.

Speaking of smoking a pack in Wildwood. My parents are so mad at me for the life choices that I've made. My dad doesn't answer my calls, and my mom only responds biweekly. My mom was a big smoker. Never smoked in the house, though. Shout out to Kel. Never smoked once in the house, but she would rip a cig nonstop. Have to.

And then it was kind of funny. My dad. A lot of culture. Yeah, it's good. It's what you got to do. My mom quit for 15 years and then put out the Jordan press release like I'm back and just started again. It was the craziest thing of all time.

We just like walked outside one day. She was smoking and she's like, yeah, I just kind of do this again now. Which I was like, all right, I'm actually pretty cool with that. I kind of wish people would go back to smoking what do you mean for the culture how so it just has to be like i just feel like it's so much cooler to sit outside a coffee shop having this little conversation with someone as they're ripping a butt yeah it is to be like hey do you mind if i pop open this mint this mint can and put a zin in my... put a pouch in my

lip? Yeah, there's nothing cool about being like... There's nothing like, oh, so you can't start a conversation with a zin. You can start a conversation with a cigarette. I think that's exactly... I think it's a good point. So classy. The oral fixation, because I'm like talking to people last night and I'm like licking around my mouth. So imagine having a conversation. And your lips are

like a little puffed out and stuff. protruded yeah like what are we doing here it's the new cauliflower here it's cauliflower lip from zin it's gonna get swollen and i'm gonna look insane in the next like three months i don't i don't i don't see i don't understand why don't you try one on camera and you can get rid of it no i i because no because i'm fighting a hangover right now and i know if i if i mix the hangover with this Zin, I'm going to literally turn into the Joker. I'm going to turn into the Joker. Where he hands the card where he says, I have a condition. I can't stop laughing.

You just hand somebody a Zin. I'm the Joker, baby. Nah, dude. I thought Zins would be a big hit last night, and I kept offering it, and people were like, no, that's disgusting. And I'm like, for sure, for sure. Literally, I got three people. You got denied from the Zin? would be a big hit last night, and I kept offering it, and people were like, no, I don't. That's disgusting. And I'm like, for sure. For sure. Literally, I got three people. You got denied from the Zin?

Every single offer I made. And they were like, no. If I'm on the Zin executive board right now, and I'm listening to this pod, I'd be like, oh, shit. What's going on? Look, Zin. Dr. Zin, sponsor me. I love your product.

Yeah. Do you want to come on? Do you want to hop on? Let's go. Before we get into this episode, I want Matt to talk about Thrive. Thrive Flower, dude. Delivery service, Medellin, Juana. That's what you need, dude.

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four strains of vapes, gummies, and lemonades. They are the first, as Matt said, and only company offering same-day cannabis delivery within Philadelphia. This will all be in the description, too. So if you don't want to hear my stupid voice anymore, skip on ahead. Order your cannabis at thriveflower.com, and it will be delivered in about in how long? Ten minutes. Hour. Hour.

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They're efficient. They are efficient, and they are timely, and that's why we love Thrive. That's right. Jersey guys, take the train over, order it. No they just order it. Oh, they can go to Jersey Yeah, just stay in your stay in your humble boat. Look that you're learning this with me They paid us for that, okay, we were just talking about cigarettes and I can feel like I smell cigarette on you You smoker isn I am a smoker.

Isn't it so cool? Just take that mic. It's actually not cool. No, it's cool as shit. No, because now, have you seen what the kids are doing now? They're vaping. Well, yeah, but they're also doing Zins. Have you seen Zins?

Oh, yes. Yeah, what do you think about that? I think it's kind of weird. Thank you. Me too. I'm a big Zin guy. He literally just picked up Zens like a month ago. Didn't, never did chew, never did tobacco, never did nothing, right?

No, that's kind of how I start most things in my life is I have no, there's no like real ceremonious buildup to it. It's just one day I'm like, all right, I'll do it now. And then I'll have a lifelong addiction. And that's where we are now. But we're talking about like how like, dude, having a conversation with a cigarette is awesome. It kind of is. Right? Uh-huh.

Yeah. I'm guessing you work at the bar here at Spruce Street Harbor. I do, yeah. Yeah. Would you, having a conversation, what do you smoke? Parliament. Parliament. Nice.

Very classy. Very classy. Is that like a thing where if you're smoking with somebody, I've never smoked a cigarette. I just jumped right to Zin's. Yeah. Never once. Insane. Okay.

But is it like a, can you get people kind of like open up a little bit because you're both sharing that kind of thing? Like when you have a drink with somebody, you kind of both get going? I kind of feel like, yeah. Is that what it is? Yeah. Just like I feel like if you go to the bar, you find the smokers. Right. You know, and then I feel like the non-smokers get involved.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Can you imagine all the propaganda when we were growing up about anti-smoking? Yeah. That was the huge commercial and stuff. We were allowed to smoke in the Kmart. I know.

Really? And we grew up. In the Kmart. I guess we're a little like millennials. You weren't alive when they could smoke on planes, were you? Yeah, I was. Holy shit. You could smoke on planes?

You didn't know that? Smoke on planes. Yeah. What was that like? It was awesome. Was it like, did a lot of people do it? My senior trip, I could smoke on planes? You didn't know that? Smoke on planes. Yeah. What was that like? It was awesome. Was it like, did a lot of people do it? My senior trip, I could smoke cigs on the plane. Are you kidding me?

Dead serious. We could actually go outside. We have to kind of. We could go outside and smoke in between classes. No shit. Dude, we would get demerits. If we were caught smoking. But we didn't smoke in the bathrooms.

We went outside where we were supposed to so we had um so we had um so it kind of avoided the so we're catholic school kids and i don't know if you had this we had a 24-7 policy like looking back on it is like basically in prison if they saw us smoking outside a mall they could then on like a saturday they get charges with demerits on a Monday. That's not fair. It's not fair at all. But you guys are a lot younger than I am. He's 28. I'm 31.

But man. What are you, 32? I wish. My son's your age. Is he a smoker? He is not a smoker. Neither child is a smoker. Do you think it's because you smoked?

Yes. Because my mother was a smoker. His mother was too. I feel like yes. Did you smoke in the house? Uh-huh. Yeah. Fuck right. That's good. It's your goddamn house. It's was too. My mom was too, yeah. I feel like yes. Did you smoke in the house? Uh-huh. Yeah. Fuck right.

That's good. That's your goddamn house. That's your house. I paid for these bricks. I smoked in the car too. Dude, my mom smoked in the house. I smoked when I was pregnant. They came out okay, right?

So bad. My daughter had a stroke in utero, but... Okay. All right. Well, get it out of the way. Over, under, she's fine. That could be anything. That could be the GMOs that she ate, know growing up it could be anything it wasn't because

it wasn't because you rule you rule sorry that you wanted to party a little bit not to harp on it but a pregnant smoke you gotta do that subtly are you out there just like fuck it um no back then it was it wasn't as bad it wasn't bad i did it like when i did everybody like you were a scumbag if i put my mom under true serum and i asked her if she smoked while she was pregnant, I would not be shocked. Love you, mom, but I would not be shocked if she smoked. Mom is 60. Your mom probably smoked.

I'm 56. I'm 56. So I'm going to say. It was different back then. Love you, mom, but you definitely smoked when you were pregnant. 100%. I'll probably get a text after this episode comes out like, I did one time. And also, my sister just had a baby.

Pregnancy seems like a nightmare. Let them have a cig. For the love of God, pregnancy seems so brutal. Everything she went through, it can't be that big of a deal. Enjoy a cig. Maybe not a cocktail. Maybe a cocktail. Who knows? They do say

a couple of wines are okay. They do. I actually used to drink beer in a little glass like this back in the day. And even then, I ate seafood. Like, it wasn't really a thing. You can't do anything. Dude, it's insane. This goddamn country used to be awesome.

Yeah. It did. It's awesome. So, have you been in the lifelong industry? Bartender? No, actually, I'm a hairstylist. And have you been in the lifelong industry, bartender? No, actually I'm a hairstylist and I started this about eight years ago. Nice. So you've always been in the hair game?

I've been in the hair game and then I started across the river at Freedom Mortgage Pavilion about eight years ago. Okay. And then I ended up here. Nice. What do you prefer? Do you perform more low-key bars or do you perform more concert bars? I love it all. Yeah.

Okay. I love it all. What do you think about people our perform more low-key bars or do you perform more concert bars? I love it all. Yeah. Okay. I love it all. What do you think about people our age? Are we good tippers? Like from 22 to like 35? I think you guys have a little room to grow. Really? But that's okay. Yeah.

I feel like a lot of people that don't work in the tipping industry don't necessarily talk to their kids about tips. Yeah. So I don't blame it on them but i do think it should be a conversation so i was i was a bartender in college i did i did probably about an eight year stint so i did i think i did enough to to to talk about it yeah to talk about it um i loved always talking to the older bartenders because they just had such a different perspective on just life in general but also like there was a pre-2008 tipping and a post-2008 tipping.

Would you agree with that? Like the tipping before? That's before my time because I started in 2017. But even being a hairstylist. But I will tell you this. I will make more money making a drink all day than I will a haircut. Got it. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah. That's crazy to me because to me, my hair is more important than that drink is. 100%. Well, to some people. Yeah. That's just me though. Yeah. Man.

I've always been curious about like, my girlfriend's a bartender. So I try to ask her and she never really spills the beans. Do people tip better the drunker they get or worse? Absolutely. Absolutely. Because I've heard mixed reviews. They will empty their pockets. Yeah.

If they like you. True. Another thing is, too, if you're kind to them from the gate, they will come back to you every single time. True. Yeah. And they will literally stand in line for you. They will. Yeah.

Like somebody could be free and they're like, no, I'm going to get her. Oh, nice. Which is nice. Yeah, 100%. Because you know that you gave them good customer service. Yeah, that makes sense. So we don't know much much about hair do you know much about hairstyling i'm kind of a three on the sides and a little bit up top and stuff but like kind of easy how's the hair i'm balding i don't know if that can i get your your hairdresser you tell me he's got neanderthal

heads so just don't don't be shocked when you yeah i think he's good he's just fine just fine you just have fine hair fine okay yeah but I don't think you're going bald. I needed to hear that. Oh, that's huge for me. He's got a lot of hair. This guy's got a lot of hair. Yeah, too much, some would say. Maybe too much.

I don't think there's too much. You don't put a cover on a Maserati, right? Right. Yeah, you also don't put gray on it either. Distinguished. They call it wisdom. That's right. That's right.

There's nothing wrong with a little gray, my friend. She's all those. Oh, come on, guys. I thought we had something. Come on, I got something too. She smoked in the house. My mom smoked in the house Gray, my friend. She's all those. Come on, guys. I thought we had something. Come on. I got something, too. She smoked in the house. My mom smoked in the house. We were on different little planes. Yeah, he's a little bit older than you. True. You're right. I got some stuff to learn. That's fair.

I think we all have something to learn, my friend. I think so. Well, what we're trying to learn today, we're asking people, because we came in, him and I were out drinking last night, came to the pod early morning, you know, 11.30, 12 p.m. Early. That's early. Is that early morning you know 11 30 12 p.m uh early that's early across that early for you guys across across hairstyling and and being a bartender any job you had before hung over at work have you been there oh how was it absolutely horrible how do you deal with it like give us you have any like tricks of the trade of like how you get through it lots of ibuprofen yeah yeah do you think people can tell

we always worry about like people can kind of tell you'd smell it on me you can see in my eyes a little bit like i wear it we wear it well i think if you're in this kind of business you're okay because you're just going to be smelling each other true yeah you know now me i remember doing the all-nighters you know i'm a jersey girl so we would go to francine's all night gotcha and then uh you know dance clubs because they don't really have that in Jersey anymore. Not too much. Not so much. But we'd be up all night and we'd literally come home at five and get our shower and go to work.

Just stay up, push through. Yeah. And work 11 hour days. Like it was crazy. We'd work nine to nine. No stimulants or just a lot of coffee? Lots of coffee. Lots of coffee is what it is.

Lots of coffee, yeah. I think that's what it is. You got to do it with a group where you're going in together the next day. I didn't smoke pot back then, but I would say that might be a benefit. When did you start haircutting? 1986. So you were kind of out of the cocaine era a little bit. No, I was still there.

Still there a little bit? Yeah, I was never. You were never really into it? No, no, no, no. Yeah. No, I don't even do an energy drink. Really? Yeah, I got a problem. Guy fills his freaking veins with monsters.

It's insane. I help those things. Yeah, they're great. The younger generation do love them. Yeah. The Celsius's and stuff and the monsters, it's crazy. It's sickening. We were talking about it too. Before you go into work the next day when you're out drinking,

you do hit a point of drinking where you're like, tomorrow I'll be fine. Who cares? We're back. It's not a big deal. And then like when you go into work the next day, I guess if you pull an all-nighter, you probably go into work feeling incredible.

For the first two hours, you're like, I'm just kind of pushing through. We'll be all right. And then 10 a.m. hits. And you're like, oh, my God. What did I do? Once this day over. Headache.

Yeah. Getting hung over while you're awake do you think you cut better sober or cut better drunk because because there's a there's a like right now like i'm kind of getting the the old shampoo right now effect where like we had a couple beers already so like i'm kind of back to being just you know fun you know partying car remember my mom my mom did hair as well yeah right she was drunk she was really good she was really good because you don't you don't care as much about what you don't think. Yeah.

You don't overthink it. Yeah, 100%. I think there's a lot of... My barber, every time I go in there, if he asks me to golf, I know he's high and I know I'm going to get the best haircut. Got it. So some days I'll go in there and he's like, hey, what's going on? I'm like, oh, this one's going to suck.

But then I go in and he's like, dude, you got to hit the links with me. We'll have a i go in he's like dude you gotta hit the links with me we'll have a great day and i'm like this is gonna i know he's stoned i know it's gonna be the best haircut so you should just tell him every time make sure you smoke before i should bring a blunt yeah true yeah yeah i really just smoke before he you know you don't even have to bring him anything he just knows it's cool personal request i'm not i'm not coming in until you smoked a hefty i need to see that happen to him real time yeah how is um has hairstyling changed since you started it in any way? Like how so? Colors.

She's just on a local. Yeah. Colors. So many colors, so many different colors. Like black or, uh, balayages and different ways to highlight.

Ombre's. Yes. Ombre's still big. Um, not so much. They kind of, they kind of broke up with the, the balayages and all that now.

Yeah. Wow. So haircuts always come back. Sure. You know, the mullet always comes back. The balayages and all that now. Yeah. Wow. But haircuts always come back. Sure. You know, the mullet always comes back. Yeah, the mullet's big right now. It always comes back. Is the big teased hair coming back for the women?

The old ladies always. Always, every time? Yeah, I work at a nursing home, too. Sure. They love their little teasy curly curls, you know, sets. What do you see more with the youth now, women or men? Like, what's the haircut um or are you doing who's more your clientele typically i mean i have a mixed variety

yeah so i mean i feel guys you know normally the clipper sides like you're saying you know some of them do the hard part you know the hard line that's big uh old school you know flipping up in the front a little bit are you surprised by any cuts that you get asked for like sometimes which ones like sometimes sometimes you get these crazy haircuts you know it'll just be totally disconnected yeah you know it makes no sense and you're like okay as long as you know that this makes no sense it's gonna be real fun to style the whole haircut are you telling them like this is gonna be fucked up or you're like yeah whatever you want yeah um it's not gonna be necessarily fucked up it's gonna be real fun to style the whole haircut are you telling them like this is gonna be fucked up or you're like yeah whatever you want yeah um it's not gonna be necessarily fucked up it's just disconnected right you know but as long as they're okay with it yeah what's your favorite cut

clipper cut nice and easy anyone any any like chicks ever come in and be like just shave it i've never had that really thank god yeah because i feel like if they were going to do that they were probably going to be sick or something yeah oh fuck and that would make me sad lots of love still around i don't think so but they were for a hot yeah because i worked for a haircuttery so yeah we were really big in it and we don't do that anymore so i feel like every time i went into the haircuttery when i was growing up there would always be a girl in there doing like locks of love and they were just cutting off like 12 inches. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

What's what's a cut you hate? Like not even like hate like doing just like I just don't understand why people do it. The wolf cut. What's that? It's like. They come in with these pictures, but they're all they still do that. Yeah, they're all basically the same haircut. Right. Re invented. Yeah. Yeah. You know, just like the mullet. still do that yeah they're they're all basically the same haircut right re-invented yeah yeah you

know just like the mullet i i hate the tiktok cut i hate it yeah i don't know if i know that one that's the you've seen it's the it's the mullet and then they like have like stringy hair and they just pull it to the front and everything oh yeah well the wolf cut is just like i don't know have you guys ever heard of furries well we are big in the furry community we don't do it not even lying okay you don't do it we went to a convention

the video blew up and like half our subscriber base is all furries so actually you're talking to our people right now okay so I was a little taken back by the whole furry thing did the person show up in the furry costume? They did not have the costume. But did they talk to you about, like, I'm a furry and this is why I'm doing this haircut?

Kind of. And it was a wolf cut, you said? It was called a wolf cut. So I think that's very popular in the furry community. And what's it look like? I feel like we should look this up. You could look it up. It sounds like they're doubling down.

They're already dressed as an animal. Because you do see it. You do see it. There are a lot of wolves in the furry community. And they all have that little mohawky. Remember the other guys we interviewed? Where wolves are kind of doggy. See, I'm a little confused about this whole.

Are you guys confused? About the furries? Maybe because I'm old. I don't know. If I'm picturing the right thing, I think it's just basically the jacked gay guy haircut. I think most of the gay dudes I know that are jacked have this exact hair. Just search wolf haircut. Yeah, that would probably.

Kind of like this or kind of like. Hers was shorter. Just tell me when to stop. It was kind of more like this. Okay. Kind of like that. It's kind of hot. She was uh 11 oh okay not okay she's hot though um yeah she is so what so what was your uh

you're 56 56 you being introduced to the furries i would love to bring you the next time we do a furry podcast because you would just be like what the the fuck is going on? Yeah, I would be. I actually had an outburst. My daughter is an English teacher and said, Mom, you can't talk to people that way. Shut up. I smoked with you when you were pregnant. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Exactly. You also furry, too.

I was like, wait, what? I was like, I don't know. I just I don't understand the whole concept that you want to be non-binary. Like, I'm not quite sure what that word means. That whole thing. Yeah. And what I find it means is the men are going to be in the bathroom. And I don't necessarily.

Well, you can't get weaponized by Fox News. The Fox News, the, what was it? The cat. What's the thing the cat's pissing? Like a litter box. They were saying they were putting litter boxes in the bathroom? Yeah. I don't know if that was real.

That felt like someone just got on a Facebook group and said it and then everyone just ran with it. I think so. I'm not sure. I'm not sure either. But I have heard that. I'd like to believe it's not real. I would like to believe it's not real either. Yes. But the bathroom situation is very real. But I have heard that. I'd like to believe it's not real. I would like to believe it's not real either. Yes.

But the bathroom situation is very real. Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah. I worked at the Met. Yeah. Here when it first opened, the only surrogated bathrooms are downstairs. Really? Got it.

Or, yes, the only separate bathrooms are downstairs. So when you go into the regular bathrooms in the Met, there is no distinction? Men or women. Yeah. I think we should just all make bathrooms that are like everybody can go in, but there's like, you know how it goes from like floor to ceiling? Yeah, but then we're going to get some crazy stuff going on if we do floor to ceiling, you know, friend.

You know what the 80s, well, see, you guys weren't around. Yeah. Yeah. The glory hole days. Do you know a lot about those? Lots of coke, glory hole, and sex in the bathroom. Do you think the 80s will ever come back? Like that kind of perspective, that kind of era?

I do. What was awesome about the 80s? It was just very freeing, I think. Because we're 90s kids. Well, you're kind of a 90s kid. 96. I think the phones have really messed us up. Yeah.

Bad. Yeah, there's one thing that I could tell you. But I feel like you're right in between. I think so. I'm right in between. My son was your age. Right. Were you born in?

96. My son as well. Yeah. And you guys didn't have the access that they have today. No. But we also saw the largest technology jump in a 20-year period of all time. You saw, I mean, obviously you saw it too. Agreed, agreed, yes.

Remember we were doing like, you couldn't go on the phone because we wanted to go on AOL, and now it's like Wi-Fi? No, that was me. That was me. My husband was upstairs on the phone, or I was on the phone, and he was trying to get on fantasy football. And I heard, do, do, do, do, do, do. It's like, Jim, get off the goddamn phone. It was John.

John. But you were close. That's a real Jersey girl, yeah. It's just like, I always look back and it's just like, if I could do one thing, I would take away the internet.

It was so cool just to know 25 to 50 people. Not even taking away the internet. Somebody brought up the point that like, people our age, we had such a nice distinction. Not even taking away the internet. Somebody brought up the point that people our age, we had such a nice distinction between the real life and the internet, where you went to the computer to go on the internet for an hour or two.

Hoping your crush went on AOL. Agreed. You go on instant message and hope that door opened. It was great. Here comes XXO, Christina XXO. Oh, God. When that away message would pop up, what an embarrassing time. Dude, when she would take the initials of her boyfriend out of her profile. That was huge. Oh, God. When that away message would pop up, what an embarrassing time. Dude, when she would take the initials of her boyfriend

out of her profile, that was huge. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, we were on AIM, Instant Message, the girls in your class that you would never speak to in person. You could finally talk to them on the internet. And you could say whatever you wanted. Just about. You could just be like, you looked really pretty today. I would never say that in person. And then she's like, wow, you looked handsome. Your hair looks

fine. Stuff like that. Yeah. It made it easier. Yeah. So being, I'm kind of curious that your son being my age, like, and going back to the internet, you know, kind of popping up while he was a kid, you know, were you nervous about that? Navigating that as a mom? Like, I'm worried about the search history here.

I'm worried about what's going on when I'm not near the desktop. Oh, we did go through that. true. We did go through that. Yeah. We did go through that, and then I put some parental controls. Nice. And he had the balls. He had the balls to approach me about it. Did he really?

He absolutely did. He absolutely did. He stepped to you about the parental controls? Yeah, he did. What was that conversation like? Yeah. Mom. You caught my porn. Yeah. You caught my porn.

Yeah, you caught my porn. That was basically the conversation. How old was he, do you remember? 14, 15. 14, yeah, that's when you're- And I was like, that was kind of really shitty. Because you guys were just, well, I don't know about you, but the guys in your generation, they were just taking two wires and trying to put them together so that they could see like the Cinemax and like see a boob.

Yeah. You just get like a sketch of some fine porn in the woods. So we were kind of jealous. Like what's going on here? These kids are too smart. Yeah. But yeah, it was pretty funny. Definitely.

Did he ever get into your husband's Noonie Mags? No, I never had him. Your husband was a Noonie Mag guy? No. No. I feel like that's crazy for a guy. He got into the Vodka though. Yeah, that'll do it. Yeah, he never had him. Your husband wasn't into that guy? Nah. Nah. I feel like that's crazy for a guy. He got into the vodka, though. Yeah, that'll do it.

Yeah, he was about 14. He got into that. Were you replaced with vodka with water? Nah. You wouldn't have the decency to do that? Nah, but that was okay. That was okay. It was okay, because he had the Russian pop-off, and he had a massive headache the next day.

I can promise you that. The lesson is learned. Yeah, that's all straight around. The lesson was learned. If you got into the goose, you would have been like, I would have been really mad, but there was no goose at my house. I like that. Just left over from a party.

I think that's a good trade-off. You can't watch porn. You can have a cocktail. It's like, all right, I can live with that. Well, we weren't planning on him. He took it from the house. Okay. Never replaced it either.

Never replaced it. That motherfucker. Stingy, is he? What was dating like in the 80s? Took it from the house. Okay. Yeah. Never replaced it either. Never replaced it. That motherfucker. No. Stingy, is he? God. What was dating like in the 80s? Like, how was that, you know, navigating that playing field? So I was kind of boring.

I dated my high school sweetheart and got married to my high school sweetheart. Oh, that's awesome. So I only dated, like, not very many people. Did it work out? You guys still together? We are not still together. But 19 years I was. Amicable? Not really.

Not so much. He liked my best friend more than me. I hate to say it. Yeah, I don't like that. She's not your best friend anymore, right? She's not here to talk about it. Good. Fuck her.

They might have shared a cigarette. Who knows? What's dating like right now? But I can't imagine it's easy. It's not easy. Yeah. Imagine a cigarette. Yeah. Who knows? What's dating like right now? But I can't imagine it's easy. It's not easy. Yeah. Imagine your age. Okay.

20 years fast forward because men are really gross. Yeah. Sorry. That's fine. You're right. I agree with you. And they don't change. They get worse as they get older.

Really? Is that what it is? What do they get like when they're older? I want to know what. Creepy old men. No way. So the way like our dads talk when they say like a couple of do they get like when they're older? I want to know what. Creepy old men. No way. So the way like our dads talk when they say like a couple of creepy one liners, they're just doing that on dates.

Uh huh. Dear God. I'm going to be a little crass here, but I feel like it's because our dicks don't work when we get older. True. So we're angry. I did date a guy and that was not the case. Oh, wow.

Shout out to the cocksmith. Could use his help. So, yeah, that that was not the case. Oh, wow. Shout out to the cocksmith. Could use his help. So, yeah, that was definitely not the case. That would be a good blue chew ad. Hey, blue chew, you out there? You want to sponsor the podcast? All right. Shout out to that dude.

Oh, yeah. He was an asshole, but. Yeah, that's usually how it goes. Because there has to be a thing where it's like. But I think if you have a big dick, that's just automatic. I think so. That's why him and I are nice guys on podcasts. You can tell what's going on down there.

Exactly. So, okay, alright. But there has to be a reason why every old dude is creepy. There has to be. The filter's gone. Yeah, they don't care. They just don't give a fuck. They're like, you know what? What's she gonna say now?

See, I think our generation will be different with that, I think our generation will be different with that. I think our generation will be different with that. Think they'll be more kinder? I think not necessarily kinder, but I think we do. We don't like to admit it, but I think we do care because we've seen every angle of like life. Yeah. Like we kind of get life just shoved in our faces because we grew up with like so many. So much information.

So much information. Yeah. So like when you when you look at something like this might just be me, but I look at something and I'm always questioning things because it's like you see you've talked about it. Like you see how much like fake news and stuff is everything. Agreed. So it's like when I get hit with something, I'm like, is it like that? Or if you just do 10 minutes of research, you're like, OK, I see both sides a little bit. Or you see more one side than the other.

One side than the other. Yeah. And that's why I think a lot of people just like I know a lot with like the younger generation is like you see something on TikTok and you just take it for what it is. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's fair because it's just easier to watch a five minute video and just make an opinion than it is. But I do think there's a lot of truth in TikTok. TikTok is very good. Informative. And very informative. It's kind of

scary. Chinese Gov. I think the Chinese Gov is... I think it's scarier because you're wondering what the other social media platforms are censoring from us. Why do I get so much more information from videos on TikTok because they're not obviously

controlled by a U.S. entity. Correct. That I can, that I can learn something so much more on a platform that I can't learn on like an Instagram

or like a TikTok or like a Twitter or like a Facebook. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah, so you're like wondering like what, what are they keeping from us?

Yeah. I think there's a lot of stuff they're keeping from us. I wondering like what what are they keeping from us yeah i think there's a lot of stuff they're keeping from us i think so what are they keeping from us they're keeping secrets about i can't believe old dudes are still getting hard that's bothered i can't stop now i'm mad at that guy for having the old dudes getting big old slang and wieners what the hell what that guy doing like that what am i doing they're just slinging i gotta track like the fucking course of the moon to make sure I'm good to go. He's in his 40s. Yeah. Yeah, that's not that old.

That's not that old. We dated 40s to probably early 50s. Yeah. Oh, and he was still slinging? Yeah. Good for him. He probably still is now. God knows with who.

Did he deserve? You think, did he deserve to have it? No. You wish ill on him? No. No, I don't wish ill on anyone. You wish ill on his dick? Yeah. I hope it falls off. Let's go.

No, it's not going to fall off, but I hope it stops working. Okay, that's fair. I like that. That's probably how we should finish. I think so. I'm about to finish. You were the best. You're an all-timer. Have a great time, guys.

Thank you so much. I love the bar industry. They are the best people in the world. They have to be. They literally are paid to be likable. They're insane. Yeah. And it just makes for the best people who, like, the conversations are just all-timers.

It melds with us. Like, us doing this. They're basically just like a more lucrative way of doing what we're doing. I might after this episode. You can't leave because we're going to get fucked up with that woman.

I really want to pretty bad. I know she's going to be feet. I want you to be crawling out of here by the end of this episode. I'll be crawling after regardless. I'm coming back here.

I want you to be on Columbus Boulevard being like, oh, my God, that guy just switched three lanes out of here by the end of this episode. I'll be crawling after her regardless. I'm coming back here. I want you to be on Columbus Boulevard being like, oh my god, that guy just switched three lanes out of nowhere. He's got to get to the Spruce Bar, dude. His lady beckons. She beckons. Do you guys want to come on? Yeah, awesome.

We'd love to have you on. Please, that'd be great. We've got one right here, and then we've got one right over here. We don't have a lot of slack, so we need you to... Yeah, as tight as you can get as tight as you can get yeah um first name uh eduardo you could call me eddie i love it i'm kaylee kaylee kaylee and eduardo or eddie um what do you do for a living so i do loss prevention for target um the acid protection oh boy god in philly no miami i was gonna say you'd be oh oh probably equally as busy what's worse i mean i've seen i've gone to all like i went to cvs i went to a target here everything's locked everything's locked up

is it like that in miami in the downtown stores yes yeah not in the suburbs not in the suburbs not in the suburbs yeah yeah it is it is frightening when you go to the suburbs. Not in the suburbs. So you were more in the suburbs? Yeah. Yeah, it is frightening when you go out to the suburbs and you just go to Walgreens like, oh, I can just get shampoo and not have to call anyone. That's why I got to go to Jersey. Yeah. Yeah. What do you do for a living? I'm a teacher.

You're a teacher? Teacher. Okay. Well, I mean, I guess you're kind of in loss prevention too. Honestly, yeah. Yeah, you prevent, you know, you go on a field trip, you make sure they, you know. I can't prevent the fights that happen in my class, though. Are you more downtown or are you more suburbs?

No, more suburbs. There's a good amount of fights? Yeah. Really? Yeah, I had my first one. This is my first year teaching. I had one the second week of school. Oh, my God.

What was the beef over? Literally nothing. It was like this one guy, he was just a mouth. He would just talk stupid things all the time. And one guy was fed up and just. Were you kind of happy the guy kind of hit him? It was the second week. So, like, I didn't even know them that well. Yeah.

But now that you know him. Everyone knew him by name. Like, everyone in the entire school knew him by name because he was a bad student. So, as you're, like, kind of, you know, teaching more and stuff, you're kind of like, yeah, I'm glad that guy got his fuck. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Yeah.

Like that. Does that happen a lot? Like, do you see fights pretty often now? I mean, have you heard stories about them? Apparently, in my school, we've only had seven this year, and I've had two of them. I mean, it's October 20th. That's a lot of fights. You've been in school for, what, a month?

Yeah, and there's been seven the entire school. And didn't they tell you that it wasn't even that many that you guys had? Yeah, apparently, he said that. That's not a lot. It's a down year. I know you can't talk about it. What, are you running a fight club over there? Damn, dude, that's good podcast. That's not a lot. It's a down year. I know you can't talk about it. What are you, running a fight club over there? Damn, dude, that's a good podcast.

That's the first rule. Dude, so loss prevention, she's getting, you know, she's watching kids just running to fisticuffs. You should just hire those guys to just beat the shit out of anyone who tries to steal from your store. Well, they're probably trying to blow off steam. We're like, they get in a fight at school and they try to steal from his store. And he's like, I can't get away with these fucking people yeah

that's the thing a lot of goddamn shit is locked up again yeah oh my god so so like uh what are your thoughts of like philadelphia so far nice first time i'm here second time she's been here before um but so far super super nice we've been doing all a lot of like the northeastern state um cities so we did chicago we did boston nice so we've been enjoying it so far oh so you're visiting you're here okay nice how long you here for we're just here until tomorrow okay did you say that initially yeah sorry my bad i just kept thinking about p i was in a lot of uh fights in high school too and i never won a single one so i was like trying to go through my track record real quick not a good one i lost every single time and i cry at the end. Why would you...

You being... Sorry, we'll address this after you guys leave. Sure. You being a fighter is insane. Yeah. You tell me. You have no fighter energy. No, I know.

I'm telling you, Kyle. I might be like 0-4. And it was a bad 0-4. It was like I would lose in front of my biggest crush. She'd be like, you kept crying, and you were sweaty the whole time. I think this is done. I'm like, okay, that makes sense. The thing is, the fights aren't even like good

Like I teach 9th grade Sure do you have to like go in and separate or do they tell you guys like just stay away let them do it and Then we'll take care of it stay away But the first one like my inexperience I was the one who broke the fight Yeah, did you get a little did you get hit? No, I didn't get hit. I waited for the right moment. You ever see that viral video where that kid, it's from back in the day, but the kid, they're fighting and the kid hits the teacher in the face and this kid goes, yo, you hit the fucking

teacher. Oh, I've seen that. And he beats the shit out of the kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen that. I have not seen that, but I do think about that. I think about that all the time. Yeah.

Yeah. Because it was like an old lady, too. It was like an older teacher. It's like, you hit the fucking teacher. And that dude just goes fucking packy. I want this dude. Yeah, it's insane. Hitting the teacher seems like the most, you're done.

You're out. You're out. Done. So a kid gets in a fight in school. You separate it. The fight's over. Is that like suspension? Yeah.

In school or out of school? Out of school. Ah, dude, you got to make them come in school. In school suspensions are so much worse than out yeah about that that he says that they should have like a punishment where everyone sees them like cleaning the school like being custodian or something yeah because like the thing is like i see from the point of view of you you're spending me for five days cool i'm gonna have a five-day vacation that's what i like i'm not i'm just gonna go play fortnite and call of duty exactly and surf the internet for literally my entire day.

I think the idea is like, oh, if you're suspended and you're at home, your parents are going to take care of you. It's like if you're fighting in school, your parents are not a big part of your life. Really, to begin with. Damn. So I got an in-school suspension one time and I never got suspended ever again because it was terrible they put me in a they put me in a room and i just had to like i mean this is before like computers and stuff were so normal and everything it was just like i couldn't go to recess i had to sit in a room and i just had my thoughts sucked yeah i was just given assignments to do that's what it is you have to sit and kind of confront your own self it's like that's the worst punishment of all time

yeah sit yourself in a room. Like if you go, if you try to, I'm getting, trying to get big on meditation. I don't know if you guys are doing that. Yeah, you try, if sitting alone

without your phone, it's like, oh my God, I hate myself. This is awful. What are we doing here? You really start getting in your mind.

Yeah, dude, you sit there the entire time. Just go on a walk. Can't, I get tired. I can't meditate. Yeah, I try. I can't either. I try to.

Yeah, I know. I can't. Ever try? I've tried it and I can't do it. Same exactly. You get in your head and you hate it. Yeah, you're just trying to figure out how to stop these people from stealing. There's no stopping. This problem is bigger than me. There's no stopping. So are like, are you like the golden boy at Target now? Because it's like,

you guys are the dudes. You are the bros. You guys are the, you're the, you're the, you are the 85 pairs right like they need you to be completely honest with you bro it's a little bit of both man you have a lot of people who respect what you do but then you got a lot of people who look at you like you're the freaking cops or something yeah so they don't like you right they look at you and they're just kind of like oh yeah because the thing is i like so basically what i do is essentially i have one person that's supposed to go ahead and get all the shoplifters that are in the store. So all the customers that are coming in and shoplifting, I'm looking at the employees.

So I'm looking at the cashiers. I'm looking at the people that are in cosmetics and stuff like that. So are you having, does Target have a bad employee stealing problem? It depends on the store, man. It depends on the store. My personal store, like I said, it was in the suburbs. So it's honestly not that bad, like in a year, a're getting the data dude there's like is there is uh employee stealing bad what do you mean like around the country yeah yeah yeah there's some there's some locations bro

where it's like you have people just straight up taking cash out of the register and i'm not talking about like 20s i'm talking about like 100s third whole industry well that's why a lot of that's why a lot of companies like like down at the stadiums and everything, they are all card now because they had a problem with petty cash being stolen. Because people would just rip out a 20 here, a 5 here, and everything. So now it's all. You know, with retail stores, too, you could just go ahead, load up a gift card for $1,000.

That's a good idea. I didn't think about that. I'll try that one. Yeah. Damn, dude. You'd be surprised, man. Dude, when I was doing cash register at Staples,

I left so much money on the table. Yeah. You really missed out. Have you noticed, has it gotten way worse with like self-checkout getting big?

Oh yeah. Is it non-stop? I mean, you're seeing it now. I don't know if you guys have seen it here, but at least in Miami. I'm a thief. Oh my God.

Come on. No, but the if you guys have seen it here, but at least in Miami. I'm a thief. Oh, my God. Come on. No, but the best part is me and my girl, we went to the Acme the other day. The Brussels sprouts aren't scanning. So the person even comes by and she goes, do you remember how much these were? And we're like, no, we don't remember how much they were. She goes, well, you got them for $4. Here you go. Nice.

Yeah. So it's the employees that are like, dude, I don't have time. Yeah, you're in cahoots. Yeah, I don't have time to go check what the Brussels sprouts are going for right now. Right. Right. Right. See, but I'll tell you like stuff like that, bro.

Like I'm going to be real. I don't pay attention to stuff like that. I mean, like I'm not, I'm not worried about that. Like it's more stuff where you're seeing like how I mentioned the gift cards for Apple products, man. Like Apple products. Dude, you're going in. Hey man, this order has one AirPod.

I'm going to take two of them. Fell off the truck. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. So stuff, stuff like that. in hey man this order has one air pod i'm gonna take two of them fell off the truck yeah yeah yeah nice so stuff stuff like that and definitely with self-checkout how you mentioned it's getting a lot worse do you ever go into his target just to steal just to touch them yeah keep on his toes uh we mess around with it a lot that i'm like i'm gonna go to your store and steal and you'll get a new number you caught someone stealing yeah i haven't caught someone in a while i'm just like yeah you don't do the dishes she's like i'm i'm taking a cliff bar. I'm going to go steal right now. He goes back.

He starts a fight at her school. Starts brawling with a 14-year-old. World star. We need world star back. World star needs to come back. We need to re-shame children into fighting. Yes. Like, if you ended up on world star, you were, like, embarrassed.

We should have to have to shame children. The thing is that they find it cool. That's what it seems like. They think, like, I they find it cool. Like, if I'm on World... They think, like, I'm on Worldstar, like, I'm popular. Right. Yeah. Were you there for... No, you just started, right? So you weren't there for, like, the devious lick era? Do you remember the devious lick era? The hell is that?

You don't remember devious lick? I'm not familiar. Dude, it was basically... Yeah, go ahead. It would be like, I'm devious lick, and they would steal, like, I don't know, the napkin dispenser in the bathroom. Yeah. No, but, like, people would one-up everybody's like all right i stole a chair from my school it's like all right i took the fucking urinal off the bathroom and i brought it home dude they were just one-upping each other for like an entire year when that thing was a teacher's car when that was a thing bro i remember i went out one time with my friends down in miami bro and

we went into a freaking bar and the wall had logs in it dude one of these girls they literally just grabbed the log and they just put it in their tail bag i love that i'm gonna hit a lick one of my buddies he's a big um uh he steals glasses from bars loves it yeah my girlfriend does that every time some cutlery yeah they do dude our entire apartment was all just glasses from different bars. I think literally my girlfriend brings a purse so that we can steal at restaurants. Hey, man. We're gathering.

She's doing the same thing. Dude, I'll tell you what. A good margarita glass, that thing's being stolen nine out of ten times. That's awesome. Yeah, dude. I love that. Oh, my God. So Miami, you guys are both living in Florida, it sounds like?

Yep. Okay. No, they're living in Colorado. I don't God. So Miami, you guys are both living in Florida, it sounds like? Yep. Okay. No, they're living in Colorado. I don't know. They travel the world. What are you talking about? I don't know. I'm all over.

They have jobs in Miami. You're like, so big gulps, eh? Wait till you hear the follow-up question. Was the hurricane bad? That was real. I was trying to get at. Life was normal. Really? Nothing?

Are you guys the west coast? No, we're east coast. The east was fine, right? The east was fine. Tampa was the one that got it. His brother lives in Tampa. Yeah, his house got messed up. Oh, wow. That's crazy. That sucks. It takes you two years to get that money. Yeah.

Why do you guys live there? I mean, born and raised. Yeah, born and raised. You can't move out yet. Are you sick of the hurricanes? Honestly, no. Do that. When you get used to them, they're just part of your life.

Yeah. Because the thing is, I don't think it has to be that way. At the same time, those are like battered children. They don't realize that things can be better. Dad hit mom again. It's just part of your life. I mean, everywhere you live, there's something. Call that a Thursday.

Like, if you live in California, there's earthquakes. If you live in, like, the Dust Bowl, there's tornadoes. But at the same time, like, also, like, you know, in Miami, like, the last bad hurricane was probably, what, Andrew? That was, like, in the 1990s? Irma was pretty bad. Irma was a big one, yeah. Yeah.

I don't know, dude. Andrew was, like, what, 97? Yeah, it was, like, something like that. Dude, there were some bad boys. This Milton one fucked people up. Especially because it was, like, what, 97? Yeah, it was like something like that. Dude, there were some bad boys. This Milton one fucked people up. Yeah. Especially because it was like right after one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, you know, that hit mom again. Yeah, no. The stereotype is 100% true, bro. It's also like they're running out of cool names. So like getting your shit smashed up by like. Frickin' Milton. Come on, dude. Why do I want to got a on dude Why are we naming it after

Like a guy who eats a Werther's original We should go back into like the Greek names Like we should have a hurricane like chaos Oh that'd be so cool Dionysus is coming for your fucking throat I thought people would evacuate Zeus is gonna be there Nobody leaves cause they're like I'm not worried about Milton

Hurricane Batman is coming It's like yeah I'm not worried about Milton. Milton? Yeah. Hurricane Batman is coming. It's like, yeah, I'm leaving, dude. I'm headed out. I'm the Joker, baby. That's crazy. Yeah, we have nothing like that. I live in Jersey, and the worst thing was Jersey Shore got canceled. That was our hurricane.

The worst thing is you guys can't turn left. It's like, damn it. All right, I'll stay here. You guys got the cold weather. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like, And now with global warming and everything. That's true. We're good until like mid-November.

True, global warming. We're like copying your guys' style. It's getting hot up here. It's kind of sick if you think about it. Until like mid-November, and then when does it start getting warm again? Probably around March, April. Late March, early April. End of April for the most part.

But even like April, you'll have maybe like a 65-degree day, 70-degree day. But at nighttime, it'll, like back to 40s. Have you guys? Oh, sorry. Good. We went to Boston in like May and it was pretty cold. Yeah. Even in the summertime, like Maine and Boston, Maine more than Boston.

But I was up there in July and it would be like 50 degrees at nighttime. Like this sucks. Yeah. Have you guys seen snow in person? I saw it. I went to Denver. I think it was 2019. Okay. I enjoyed it. i thought it was the first time i've ever seen it what'd you do when you saw it bro i i made a tiny snowman i was i was there and i was by myself because i went with my brother

but then he was going ahead and he he had to do something for work so i was literally exploring the city by myself right and i just went ahead i started making snow angels on the floor it's beautiful it was like the first time i was there huh so it's kind of sick yeah yeah yeah especially dude you're coming from miami like you've never even seen anything close to that so it was pretty cool the way we celebrate snow up here is we just go to a bar and just drink inside it warms you up bro we love snow dude i've heard hurricanes you guys are like big drinkers during the hurricane oh yeah hurricane parties yeah imminent we're like oh let's go to public get some pub subs a cake they had the hurricane cake well i mean for this last one we thought we were gonna get at least something like some rain and wind because they thought it was like gonna yeah we thought it was gonna exactly so i remember i yeah they

scanned this cake they canceled school for her and then i had a couple days off so i remember we just said yo let's get pub subs where the kids fight when the school was uh the move i guess they just fought each other yeah shout out to you guys this is awesome yeah good luck good luck with everything good luck with the loss prevention yeah good luck with the school yeah don't lose any of them right all right i'm trying yeah are you thinking about like maybe learning how to fight no No. Come on. I'm thinking about looking for another job. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you.

Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. This was awesome. Yeah, I really appreciate it. You guys were really fun. He's got all the socials and everything for you if you want to know where this is going. And if you don't want to know where it's going, you never have to know. That's it.

Sounds good. Works either way. Nice, guys. Very nice. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Thank you so much. Appreciate it.

I adore that couple. I also like when people visit Philly, I get real to be like oh i know this i know that i was like a second away from being like hey come to a show sometime come to a show yeah come to helium dude your boys just said guy guy host one show come to my show please unbelievable host five over the course of a year i should have had him come to Helium, dude. You saw me at Helium. You saw me doing my freaking thing out there, dude. I was doing my god damn thing. The Habibis? The dude ruled.

He's a Muslim guy? He is from Iraq. Was it a big Muslim crowd? No, it was a light room. But no, he was great. Paul Elias, the man, dude. Great guy, great bro. Everybody else on the show.

Did he book you or did Helium book you? The club books me. Shout out to Paul, but shout out to Helium. out the helium yeah of course yeah helium i love you guys please keep booking me i need this more than you know it's the only reason i'm valuable to this podcast so uh help your boy out will you yeah god damn it matt can you just grow your socials and post more like i do i posted a tiktok yeah dude that was how drunk six out of ten. I thought it was a banger. When that came on my For You page, I was like, oh!

I got spooked. I got spooked. I was like, yo, Matt's posting? That's how I do, dude. Because I yell at you all the time to post. It's the element of surprise. And I'm starting to post more. I hate when you don't post.

I'm posting more. I am, dude. You've got to post more. I really should start doing mail on the street. Like, with that totally as a separate thing of just me going around to places you've already been. Now're now you're making fun of me no i'm not you know what you make fun of me i'm gonna make fun of you okay i can't stand you comedians why you guys have such bachelorette party energy it's insane you guys are like showering the most beautiful bride and it's like you guys post stories all the fucking time yeah that it's like you know exactly where i'm going with this yeah unfortunately

stories all the time like so and so jimmy is the funniest guy i've ever met i hate you guys because it's like not every comedian can be the funniest yes it's science yes of course it's it's the cringiest shit it bothers all of you do is it is it a philly thing or is it like i think it's a crossword for a frame of reference something you do as a comedian is like somebody will take a picture of you on stage in a good room in a packed room in a packed room and they'll be like matt's cooking up there and then i see somebody say that and then I feel guilty and then I'll post a picture of them. They're probably bombing.

And then I'll be like this. This guy might be the next one. It's not. Look, I unfortunately, I don't like being on your side that much. I am pretty deeply on your side about this one. Is there something in the in the Magna Carta

that you guys are like, hey, if I'm on stage, you have to like suck my dick? Unfortunately, there's this unspoken understanding that we are all so desperate for attention that if you can get a picture of us that looks like we're in a packed room and everybody's looking at us, it's like, okay, do that. Take that, post something about it, tag me in it, put some kind of boring nomenclature about it, and then we'll move forward.

Dude, when I say it, it's like Matt Peebles might be the funniest guy in the world. It's like, well, I did like 29 podcasts with him. He gets some good bits. Okay, you're being hyperbolic. Could you imagine me posting the Philly sports guy or posting another content creator and be like, this dude is the funniest fucking guy in the world. Yeah, okay, dude. Look, I'm not going to lay you off the hook this easily.

As a content guy, you guys are like, what if we tried chips together? Not at all. Not at all. That was a good video. That was a good video. Yeah, sure, sure. That was a good video, dude. I tried chips at 9 in the morning.

Yeah, dude. And I rated them very successfully. Look, bro, I've been around. I don chips at 9 in the morning. Yeah, dude. And I rated them very successfully. Look, bro, I've been around. I don't have a response to that. No, dude. No, because you guys have such wedding shower energy where it's like, we're showering the most beautiful bride today. It's like, not every bride can be the most beautiful bride.

Not every wedding can be the most best wedding, the most beautiful wedding you've ever been to. Not every comic can be that good. I, the most beautiful wedding you've ever been to. Not every comic can be that good. I've watched Funniest. It's not good. It stinks. Helium, book mat please. Helium rules. But we gotta cut down on

the comedians in this city. We have to cut down. Some people need to be told to their face, being like, you should probably do your insurance job. Yeah, it's probably. You should probably stay and work in security. You got to keep selling medical devices. You have to focus on that, which I will say you've kind of brought this up.

Not this thoroughly. Am I in your head? I didn't realize. I told you this. I told you this last week. Am I in your head? You're out of your stone. You know, you haven't posted that much since I told you this.

You posted yesterday and I DM'd you right away. I'd be like, I'm so in your head. I knew it. I knew how much I was in your head. Well, I hate to blow up your spot, but I got a DM I'd be like, I'm so in your head. I knew it. I knew how much I was in your head. Well, I hate to blow up your spot, but I got a DM from the Crossing Broad account saying I'm in your head. I deleted it. I deleted it. Fool, I win.

I've won. But you know what it is? I thought about it when you brought it up. Comedians, we have like hot girls in a fake friend group energy. Yes, yes. But we're the same way too. We're the same exact way. And you have to.

You kind of have to do that. The same reason that hot girls, I guess, feel like they have to do it. They have to be like, oh, my God, I love Rebecca. She is so cute. It's the funniest thing in the world. When you post the story and then behind the scenes, you're just like shitting on it. I was like, man, that wasn't that good of a five minutes as I think he thought it was. Wow.

He went with that closer. Like, oh. Yeah. Like, that's like just the fakeness of it. It is. It is. It is showering the best bride of all time. Putting our Venmo handle be like, buy the comedian a drink for her. It fucking drives me up.

I think it's fair. I get where you're coming from. I'm largely on your side. But unfortunately, this is my line of work. So I think you're a wrong idiot. Yeah, it stinks. it's the worst thing the longer you do it though I have noticed

and I'm starting to kind of fall into this not because of you that people will like newer comedians will post a picture of you not say it's like a clout thing

but they'll post a picture of you and if you had a bad set like reposting it being like I bombed so bad it was so funny that I think is a little more humanizing you're trying to be uncool cool guy oh my god these rules that i set up you're trying to be uncool cool guy i think you're

like i bombed so hard but look at me how cool i am for telling people that didn't even come to my show how fucking cool i am i know i agree i agree but unfortunately when we get on stage you're in the fire, dude. We can't stand behind a camera that Vito's holding with his erect penis and go like, we're here at... Hold on. We're here at... Today, we're here at...

What's up, guys? Today, we're here... That's all you fuckers, dude. I watch you guys. I watch the content guys and I love them. Everybody that I've met Through you are incredible dudes But it's so funny watching like You're doing it You're doing it again

You're literally doing You're doing Bridal Shower Energy Right now You're right, you're right I've met everyone And they're so fucking cool No, they can't all be cool Some of them suck

Alright I'll just I will group myself in that No There are people who don't like me Very valid Nah, they're idiots No, very valid

Nah, they're idiots I run around And shove a microphone In Very valid. Nah, they're idiots. No, very valid. Nah, they're idiots. I run around and shove a microphone in people's face. Nah, they're fools. Monkeys could do what I do. For real, if I heard somebody come up to me and be like, that Kyle guy, I might fight. You hated me before you even knew me. I didn't hate you. I just didn't know you.

You didn't think I was that good? I didn't say that either. Oh. Yeah. It was another man. It was Vito. Dude, this is a podcast of congratulations and happiness. Dick sucking.

But I will say, it is in my fucking head. Please stop. I posted the picture last night because somebody took a picture of me. It's a packed helium comedy club. Which, by the way, that's cool. That's cool. And I was like, what can I say? Because you have to brag.

The ego is oversized and insane. We unfortunately have very large egos. And I'm like, what can I say? Because you have to brag. The ego is oversized and insane. We unfortunately have very large egos. And I'm like, what can I say? And I kind of went with the uncool cool guy thing of performing stand-up comedy. Yeah. You hated that? It's the best I could do. It's the best I could do.

That's true. But please, comedians, stop doing it. Yeah, we probably... Guys, we might have to stop. Draw a line in the sand. Be the guy. Be the change. I'll be the guy.

Okay. If you post me, I'm not fucking reposting you. I might have to stop. Draw a line in the sand. Be the guy. Be the change. I'll be the guy. Okay. If you post me, I'm not fucking reposting you. I might repost you. Depends how I look. A lot of times I look fat in the pictures and I don't repost them. You reposted a nice one the other day at High Note. I looked handsome. You looked handsome.

I looked beautiful in that one. And you just quit that place too. I did and I bombed really bad. Did you? Looking handsome but you're bombing. You didn't talk about it on the Insta story. You didn't say, oh, i bombed really bad did you looking handsome you're bombing oh you didn't you didn't talk about it on the on the insta story you can say oh i bombed here you know again and i hate to keep going back to it there's no way to prove it somebody posted a thing about like mad people's cooking up there and i just put a big sticker over top of it because i was like kyle's gonna

make fun of me get the fuck over here. Come on. Let's have a blast. He's the worst salesman in the world, but we love him. And I actually have family from Portland, Maine, so. Yeah. I have family from Portland, Maine. We visited a few weeks ago. Oh, hell yeah.

Bars close at 1. Both of you guys. Isn't that gay? No, no. Come on, baby. Come on. Well, come on. You're our last one of the day.

We do. We don't know. We'll get out of your hair. It's nothing. How many beers deep? I don't know. Four or five. That's kind of. Oh, yeah. It's a perfect. You're right there with us the day We'll get out of your hair It's nothing How many beers deep? I don't know Four or five Oh yeah

It's a perfect You're right there with us Did you guys drink Earlier or yesterday? Yeah So you're doing a little Shampoo effect right now? Yeah

He doesn't know about The shampoo effect What's the shampoo effect? I don't think I think you made that up Get the headphones on Get the mic going Come on

We need just This is important Oh yeah We don't have any slack So you gotta get real nice and close to us sorry I have to touch your thigh yeah that's

that's harassment that was actually that was gonna come back and bite us in an email that was five that was five beers deep Kyle do you consent to that I do consent

let's go I consent I don't consent to that I need to stop I'm gonna call the fucking cops sorry is this thing on it is

it is on are we gonna become podcasters after this? I don't think so. If you guys are in a relationship, why are you already not trying to make money off your relationship? True. What are we doing? Shipping. We got to figure this the fuck out.

You should sell each other for views. That's how everything goes. Ooh, I like that. She might get more hits than me, but we can try. That's relationships in 2024. Yeah, true. John and Kate plus? A million. A million? You John and Kate plus? A million.

A million? You guys have a million kids. Okay, sweet. Shout out to Johnny. Shout out to Johnny Boy. He's still spinning records in like a dive bar. Is this Johnny Boy,

Mr. Blockbuster? Nah. Ask him how many times he's been to Blockbuster. How many times he's been to Blockbuster? 21. He knows exactly

how many times. 21 times. Give or take 21 times. Is he even 21 years old yet? I know, right? One forever year of life. Is he old enough to know. Blockbuster 21,000. Give or take 21 times. Is he even 21 years old yet? I know, right? One forever year of life, yeah. Is he old enough to know what Blockbuster is? No, he's...

96? Yeah, it's us. All right. We got him beat by a few years. Can you imagine... What are you guys? Actually, you know what? This guy and this guy are the same age.

Really? Is that insane? Oh my God. Children. You guys are children. We have a youthful glow to us for the most part. It's all right. I don't think so. Am I older or younger? I'm going to say you're younger.

Oh, God. Shit. Did we just get fired? I told you. You got fired, dude. I'm actually 31. You're 31? All right. We're 33.

He's 28. Don't stop looking. I looked over and she was observing like, oh my God. How could that happen to you? She's very judgy. He's got Neanderthal face. I have a strong face. I have bone structure.

I'm. All right. Anyway. He's got Neanderthal face. So anyway. Yeah, we're cutting that part. Come on. Let's be professional here.

Yeah. What do you do for a living? I work in digital marketing and anthropology. Oh, the store? Oh, of course. Oh, my God. I lost a lot of money there. So I manage their affiliate and influencer marketing departments.

Oh, okay. All right. I'm back on board. I'm back on board. I apologize. I want you back. Yep. Digital marketing is so boring to me.

It was like so hot in the streets from like 2010. You guys were the coolest fucking people in the world You like went to bars You guys were like so sexy and stuff I work in digital marketing Yeah and what about now? I can rank you on Google Number one I can

I know SEO I don't even know what that means Yeah it sounds good to me Now How Now it's just influencers and shit right? You just find Like the hottest TikToker And you're just like Can you sell yeah can you sell this vintage boxes tell them about

it baby yeah uh yeah i'm an influencer so are you yeah oh my god do you want i'm probably not your demo is not my demo right yeah i'm sports i want to check the followers first yeah sports and anthropology is not really people. So you work directly with influencers? Urban. Urban Outfitters. And you're sending them? You are me, yeah. We're sending them some good shit.

Oh, fuck yeah, you are. And we send them the influencer boxes. They will post about them and be like, you know what? Anthropology has this awesome stuff. You should get it. It's on sale. Get it for your girlfriend. Yeah.

Yeah. And they crush it. Get it for your girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. And they crush it. Influencers influence. And it really does well. It's insane. It does. Now, how are they as people? Do you deal with them directly?

Like, are they kind of insufferable? Yeah, that's a good question. Yeah. I don't. I kind of, like, oversee them. So, like, one of my, like, coworkers-workers like really like manages them right um i think some of them kind of suck yeah they have to yeah i have to we were we were talking about it like um i don't love uh restaurant or food critics yeah Because not every restaurant can be good. Yeah.

Do you find that with, like, your guys, like, oh, my God, this little skirt from Anthropologie is the most amazing skirt of all time? Because I see that, and I'm like, swipe. So sometimes, like, we'll send product to our influencers, and they're not required to post. Oh, wow. So, like, sometimes we'll send things,

and, like, they won't post about it. And we're like, why? It's kind of rude. It's incredibly rude. I disagree. The marketing boxes suck. I feel like some people love them.

The PR boxes stink. Ours are really good. I feel like Anzaro's really good. I've seen her put together some. I would agree with you that you're a fashion brand, that you probably have very good PR boxes, and you send the good PR boxes to the people you want to

send them to. I get the shitty ones. Yeah. I get like the ones where you put the shirt. What have you gotten? I don't want to name them, because I'm trying to get some pictures. I'll name them. But you get a shirt, you put it through the wash one time, now it looks like a goddamn crop top on me. So I'm like, and it's like, you know, you got a couple.

Can you pull off the midriff, though? That's the big question. No, I'm skinny fat. That's a good question. Yeah, I share that same problem with you. We're all on the same page. And I look very young, too. We're all on the same page.

I mean, yeah. You still look longer than that. Yeah. God damn. So I'm not a huge PR box fan. It works, though. It does work. I'm not going to show an anthropology because I know you guys are probably very fucking good at what you do.

Yeah. Because she's excellent at what she does. And he's seen them. I've seen it. I've seen her live in action. It's pretty fucking fantastic. Anthropology. Are we allowed to curse on this podcast?

Is that all right? Oh, yeah. What's that? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Just making sure. Yeah, of course. No rules over here. No, let it rip, dude. Let it rip. All yeah. What's that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. Just making sure. Yeah, of course. Don't want to break any rules over here. No, let it rip, dude. Let it rip. All right. What do you do? I am a physical therapist.

All right, back to the anthropology. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stretch people for a living? Stretch. Make them feel better. My hips. Improving lives. Yeah, what are your issues?

What are your physical ailments? Yeah, you're in your 30s. I'm in my early 20s, so. Yeah, yeah. So you're in the prime of your life. I don't look that old, by the way. Okay, I'm sorry. He has no issues.

We know that. Let's talk about it. He doesn't even know what Blockbuster is. That's right. Well, here's a Blockbuster. Coming to theaters now, I look young, okay? I don't look old. We know.

Okay, guys, look. You ruined his day. I did. I'm happy about it. What the hell is going on here? I can't believe he's entertained. Dude, he's stretching you out right now. I feel stretched out, dude.

I don't feel any better. He's going to pull a hammy if I stretch him out, let's be honest. Oh, my God. Dude, I need to know what to do for my hips. My hips are so bad. They're locked. They're insane. They're not lying.

That's for sure. Bang. I kept that one in the chamber. Yeah, I like that. What do I do? Like, what kind of stretches do I do for my hips? I have a terrible lower back, too. Yeah, well, your low back pain is probably secondary to no abs.

I mean, I could have told you that. But, yeah, tight hips will contribute to low back pain. Yeah, they go tandem. Got it. Yeah. What can I do? Lose weight? Losing weight, weight core strengthening stretch your

core stretch your hip flexors that'll help yeah pilates you want to get real humbled come to pilates class dude i did a pilates class one time and i agree with that pilates is sick pilates is tough girls have core strength that men just can't women's workout classes are the most difficult thing on the planet. It's insane. It's unbelievable. Okay, so she's brought me to SoulCycle. I don't know if you guys are familiar with that fucking cult or not, but... Dude, I dated a spin instructor. It was the worst

fucking three years of my life. Yeah, they'll put you through fucking hell. Spin sucks, man. It's not easy. Spin is stupid. It's brutal, dude. It's challenging. It's a cult. You get called out in class. Spin is so stupid. Yeah. You think you're a call. You get called out in class. Spin is so stupid. Yeah. You think you're in shape? You go to a spin class?

You should see my ass, dude. I can fucking spin. He's got a fat ass. I will give him that. But spinning's dumb because it's just like you do it once. You only have to do it once a week. Just do a couple squats. I don't need to go up into position two and start clapping with the class. You don't know about plie?

It's a dance. It's a ballet. It's a ballet. Yeah. Are we going back to Pilates? That's plie, right? I guess, maybe. A little bit.

Position two. Not really. Position two. Position one. Position two or position three, girl? Position three. Yeah, position three is the best. Better for the booty.

Yep. What is that? What is position three? So position three is more like. Your hands are out a little more distant. If you're going up a hill. Yeah, you're going up a hill. You're like over here. Position two is like very.

You're straight. It's like Catholic school girl energy. Yeah. A lot of core strength. Oh, very preppy. Yeah. Okay. You go like one, two out of five.

It's not even working the core. Yeah. It's not. Like big spinner? Big spinner. Oh, she's a big spin. Big spin girl. I've tried a couple times i can't

get the choreography down like i'm just like i try and i'm just like all these bad classes i hate them sorry it is a call we go and i just get screamed at for an hour you're so civil girly oh she is they're still hot in the streets yeah very they crush yeah oh yeah peloton didn't eat their lunch now now peloton is falling off they fell off yeah. Peloton didn't eat their lunch? No, Peloton is falling off. They fell off. Yeah, I thought so too. Peloton had their, I feel like, yeah, COVID. It was Peloton's time to shine in COVID, and Seoul's back on top.

Good for Seoul. Yeah. Good for Seoul. All this stuff. I mean, I went to a core power class. This is actually, I went to a core power class for like- You're about to say this is a good story. No, I was not.

I was about to say I look really young, you just can't tell in this light. God, you're so old. But I went to a core power class as a, whatever dude, how was the Civil War?

You know, stuff like that. Yeah, so can you tell us a little bit more about World War I? Dude, I'm going to start

slapping your thighs. Apparently that's all it takes, dude. You sell out pretty quick. He touched your thigh and you're like, I pledge allegiance to you for the entire podcast. Bologna and cheese, dude.

Okay? It's a pretty good sandwich. Let's be honest. It's so goddamn good. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I love bologna and cheese. Go ahead, though. Yeah, I went to a core power class for a fourth date with a girl.

Wow. Yes. First three were bars. And I was like, oh, we're good. Yeah. And then she was like, well, let's meet up tomorrow morning. I think after the first three dates being bars, would you be an ideal person for a... I don't know. I've done that before oh, we're good. Yeah. And then she was like, well, let's meet up tomorrow morning. Why would she think after the first three dates being bars, would you be an ideal person for a...

I don't know. I've done that before. That's a very good point. I'm like, you know what? After a few dates, can you keep up with me in a workout class? Yeah. And truth be told,

I feel like that's what we did, right? I mean... So go ahead. Sorry. That's a good fourth date. Well, no, I'm kind of curious to hear about like, so you went on the... You go first.

You went on the core power date. You go first. Mine's not as good. I got tired and I left and then we didn't talk anymore. That was it. Oh, yeah. Okay. I would have never...

Hours ended a little differently. No, but I would have never talked to you ever again. If you left the date... I didn't, like, leave during the class, but as soon as we were done, she was like, I'm going to get coffee. And I'm like, I can't stand even fucking looking at you anymore at this point. I have to go home. And then I went to bed for four hours.

All right. Yeah. That's how I keep my youthful glow. But so you guys went to the class and then after the class kept hanging out? What did we do? Actually, after our first class, I think I had a tea time to make. So I was like, I got to run. I got to golf with the boys.

And then, yeah. You must have really liked her if you went to class before tea time. I did. I know, right? Commitment. Where'd you guys go first? What was the first day? First day was actually, you? Commitment. Where'd you guys go first? What was the... First day was actually, you're looking at it, we were here.

Yeah. We were here. What was the class, though, you guys went to? Soul Cycle. Where else? Soul Cycle class? Yeah, where else? We went, and one of her best friends was the instructor, so I was like, fuck, I really

gotta make a good impression here. I'm still learning, like, the moves, because I didn't, like I said, there's, like, dancing involved while you do it. I just thought we were just pedaling. There's more than pedaling involved. How much did you pay attention to the class, and how much did you also pay attention to him to make sure he was keeping up? Oh, I didn't. I was like, if I watch him, I'm going to get the ick, so I'm going to make sure he's behind me.

Sure. Yeah. I was behind her. Dude, you're smart. Oh, wait. You were behind her from the first day. I was behind her smart. Oh wait. He was you were behind her. I was very she's smart No, it isn't well. I see like a straight man. Yes, I'm like But

We did on our second class together. We've now done three soul cycles together on the second class We did right next to each other Three and a half months. Oh, you guys are new who's counting who's counting not me. I think I were married Holy shit, I think we will one day. Oh It's three months. What the fuck? All right, you're what you're 33 Death doorstep you might as well get married. Yeah Yeah, I'm so excited here that so you're three months in your citizens so like 33 in the city is insane i know we're so fucking old you are so old yeah i would agree i know like we we know what we want we know what we don't want yeah what took what took you guys so long to like find each other

that's a stupid question that's like what uh it's a question i mean life you know whatever but like bad luck honestly I was gonna say why are you guys still single at 33 I've had bad freaking luck not gonna lie

you guys know bitches suck like yeah men suck too yeah we met a woman who said

this guy's dick still worked when he was in his 50s which is kind of sick yeah it's pretty sweet it's pretty cool good for him yeah

well it's coming up for you so so my sister-in-law go oh all right so there is some backstory yeah yeah so my set up like you have to be we were set up so truth be told um my so yeah like my sister-in-law was like i have the greatest guy he's like i've known him forever and he just broke up with his girlfriend. Yeah. And then he was busy. So you went with this guy, I guess, or I'm all in bag. I'm back. So it worked out. Yeah, no, that's all right. It's natural for, you know, the younger population, the older population. I get it. I'm trying to hear about it. When I was in my 20s. No, her, her mom actually spotted me out at my best friend's wedding

whose younger sister is her sister-in-law. That's huge, getting the mom sign off immediately. Oh, my mom was like, who is that? We need to hook him up with my daughter. Were you dancing? He's on the dance floor a lot. I think it was a little bit of a dance move. Great moves.

Did you use suspenders? I did, actually, yes. I did. I was wearing suspenders at the wedding. Bow tie, yeah. Actually, no, it I was wearing suspenders at the wedding. Bowtie, yeah. Actually, no. It was a tie. It was a tie.

Okay. It was a tie. It was a tie and suspenders. Do you put suspenders on a white shirt? You're the hottest guy in the world. I'm typically a suspenders and bowtie guy, but for this event, we were... I was a groomsman. It was suspenders and a tie.

No dude has ever looked bad in suspenders. I got a couple of pictures I could show you myself that were not, yeah. They're not the best. It's alright, it happens. How's it going so far? Great. Pretty good, yeah, I think so. He said pretty good, so I don't know. Well, he's backtracking. He's just about to marry you on the podcast, so he's got to kind of like...

He's got to play it cool. Trying to play it cool. I'm not the best at it. So we're in long-term relationships, so I kind of forget the love that's in the air this early. It's pretty great. Give us the rundown. Are you guys like excited? You see a text from each other and you get excited kind of thing?

Is that? Do you still smile when he texts you? Do you still smile when he texts you? I do. We're voice note people. We like leave notes. Okay. So I'll be honest.

I didn't even know. What's the matter? You guys can't read the small font? Come on. Truthfully, I didn't even know what the fuck a voice note. Yeah font? Truthfully, I didn't even know what the fuck a voice note Yeah I didn't even know what the fuck a voice note was And then we met and she's like

Hey, I'm voice noting you Don't expect you to send me one back But this is what I do and I'm like, well I can't not fucking send one back And I'm just like, alright, cool I guess I'm a fucking I guess I'm a fucking... Sending so many PR packages, she can't even tell. I guess I'm a voice note guy now. The issue is he lives in Jersey.

That is an issue. That is an issue. However... Will you ever move to the city? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, we... Weirdly enough,

we were talking about this about an hour or two ago. And yeah, I think moving to the city... Has anyone said they... Why are we still living in Jersey? Has anyone said they love each other yet? Not yet. this about an hour or two ago. And yeah, I think moving to the city is not anyone's. Has anyone said they love each other yet? Not yet. No? Not yet? Could be a great time. Do you? I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm hoarsing. I'm hoarsing. I'm goofing. I'm not going to say it on the first time on this podcast. Damn. Pussy. It's probably for the better. Pussy. Pussy. You won't. You won't. No, I'm kidding. She's actually kidding. She doesn't want me to say probably for the better. Pussy. Pussy. You won't. You won't. No, I'm kidding.

Say it. She's actually kidding. She doesn't want me to say it for the first time on this podcast. Do you want to say it? I'll say it. I love you guys both. Yeah, I love you guys. I love you, man.

I love you, too. I actually do love you, man. I love you, too. I love you guys. You guys are great. I love you guys. This has been great. I hope it makes the actual cut.

I hate to say it. Say I love you, Will. Yeah. Big issue with this guy is he's not a Birds the actual cut. I hate to say it. Say I love you, Will. Big issue with this guy is he's not a Birds fan. Oh, I fucking hate the Eagles. Giants? He's a Jersey guy. No, I'm a Jersey guy.

Although, I'm actually a Commanders fan. Oh. Huh. Yeah, we're the best team in the league right now, so I understand why you would say that. I mean, listen, we're going to win the division. Philly's going to fire their head coach at the end of the season. It's okay.

I understand. Jaden Daniels is a flash in the pan. Oh, Jaden Daniels is the future is what you really mean. That's what you meant about RG3 back in the day, too. Yeah, but RG3's coach was a fucking dumbass and drove him into the ground. It's not the case this season. Dan Quinn's been fired before. Yeah, he won't get fired this time. Okay, great. It's all been fired before. Yeah, he won't get fired this time. Okay, great.

It's all right. Your head coach maybe, but... I think Vito's about to go beat up this girl who just threw rocks at us. Yeah. Yeah, I'm about to beat her up. Oh, so what we've been asking people,

I'm glad you guys came on. You guys said you'd been drinking because unfortunately so have we. We're asking people how they power through being hungover at work. It happens every time. You go to a happy hour.

You're like, I'll have two drinks. Next thing you know, you're doing coke in the bathroom at 3 a.m. We should do that later. Are you down? Always down. Always down. The three-month luster lives. But so do you have any tried and true methods of like,

I know I have to go in. I have to be in by 7 a.m. I'm still drunk. Do you prolong the drunk? What do you guys do? Do you have any methods to kind of power through the day? I'm still drunk do you prolong the drunk like what do you guys do you have any like methods to kind of power through the day I mean I have one on the weekend I don't have a tried and true method on the work day so I could share that if you'd like please all right

you can't judge me for this so just I know you are you judge me regardless um but wake up a little spicy food quick hit take a bong rip smoke a joint whatever you know whatever your preference quick jerk off sesh and you're usually pretty good after that yeah spicy wait what was the what was the fourth one all right you got to jerk off that combination i think that's like when you like screenshot on your phone if i had spicy food smoked a blunt and jerked off i think i would like explode you might or you might feel great i think the craziest part about that was the sweat was the spicy food yeah starting with the spicy food seems like what is it what do you have what do you have i don't know a little like eggs a little hot sauce on top maybe

that's all eggs is a hungover food seems eggs eggs a classic hangover on a sandwich is one thing yeah have you got are you guys familiar with egg in the hole? I'm here to eggs a classic egg in the hole take a piece bread take a bite out of the middle throw in the pan crack The egg in the middle on you yeah, well hot sauce in there mm-hmm smoke a joint jerk off after maybe before I better get a fucking PR package after this. I just eat like shit. Yes. And I work from my bed. Yes.

Oh, so you work from home, gal? Oh, yeah. The best. No, I love going to the office, but if I feel like shit, then I'm going to work from my bed and eat like shit. Work from home is not an option. I love it. What are you doing? There it is. Oh, you're a physical therapist. I wish. Work from home is not an option in my... What are you doing? There it is. I'm a physical therapist.

There's no work from home is not an option in my field, unfortunately. You can't stretch people from home. You cannot stretch people from home. No, unfortunately. I wish I could. I don't know. I love you guys. It's just like a lot of fun. I love you guys. I'm feeling this. I'm feeling the connection.

I know we love you guys. Do you guys love... We love you guys. That's not what he was saying. I know what he was saying. But your answer is yes. Oh, he's trying to trap. That's the first time he technically told you... Just say olive juice, dude.

What's up? You can say olive juice. Olive juice. No, no, no. I love juice. I love juice. I mean, I do. I love juice. I do love juice. I love juice. No, no, no, but you I love juice We do do you love juice I do yeah, I love juice I can't wait till you guys get more fucked up tonight and just be like yeah, I do

It may or may not be part of this evening's plan, so we'll see. Wow, you play your cards close to your vest, bro. Where are you proposing tonight? Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I like it. I like it. Hey, here's all my information if you want to send me any PR packages and everything. I got you. I would love to just wear

a vintage skirt. No, no, for me. Are we going to hear this on Spotify like tomorrow? If you tell her you love her, I promise you I'll put this in there. I'm not going to lie. The first time is not going to be in front of you guys right here. That's fair. I'll be honest. Sorry.

I think that's nice. I hate to break it to you. You're always going to be in this. Yeah, you're going to be in it regardless. You're going to be in it regardless. Cool. This comes out Wednesday. All right, Wednesday.

All right, cool. And where are we going to hear this? YouTube, Spotify. Yeah, wherever you get podcasts to be in regardless. It's coming out Wednesday. All right, Wednesday. All right, cool. And where are we going to hear this? YouTube, Spotify. Yeah, wherever you get podcasts. Okay. He's got all the socials for you and everything, so you can follow us. All right, cool.

Wasn't this awesome? Yeah, this was great. You guys were great. Thank you so much. You guys are great. I mean, this old-ass guy over here is a great guy. Yeah, I know, right? Are you all right?

What time is your bedtime? All right, dude. I'll mail you my suicide note. You'll be the first name. Dude, I love this guy. I your bedtime? All right, dude. I'll mail you my suicide note. You'll be the first name. Dude, I love this guy. I love juice. All right, dude. I love juice. I love juice.

Oh, boy. He's not going to say it. I'm going to fucking say it. Let's close this shit up. Yeah, I was having some feelings, too. I can't stop falling in love. This podcast stinks, and I really appreciate everybody who comes back and listens to it. Oh, shut up.

Listen to it weekly. We love... I love every single fucking listener that comes in here and this might be because I'm like five beers in.

Yeah, this guy's loose as a goose right now. I love you guys for coming back and stuff and I hope you enjoyed the hangover episode.

I thought it was cool. I think we proved that the ultimate solution is just start drinking again. If you have a hangover, you gotta work the next day, you gotta go to a soccer game with your kids, you have a hangover, you got to work the next day. Yeah. You got to go to a soccer game with your kids.

You got to go to Mass. Before there, hit a couple shots of fireball. 100%. Chug a White Claw. 100%. You're right, it's rain. 100%.

So this has been a complete science experiment to find out the solution. The solution is develop an addiction. Mm-hmm. Do you have any dates? Yes.

Still plugging it. November 2nd, media theater. Actually, me and Gab were in media yesterday, and we walked into a bar, and there was a big poster of my dumb face, and I was like, okay. That's pretty cool. I'm starting to get that regularly now. It's kind of nice. I walk into places in the area, and I see my ugly face there, and I'm like, I wish I

would pose. Are you using the photo from 10 years ago? It's from like yeah when I we gotta we gotta get an update on you gotta get a headshot but headshots cost money which uh but yeah November 2nd come out to uh media theater November 10th we'll be at a bar in Fishtown I'll be posting oh busy November I have a lot of stuff in November we're gonna be in Fishtown I don't I gotta think of the place, but I'll come by. Do a spot. No. And then also in November, big news. I think I'm going to do this.

Big news. Okay. So I have a headlining show that I'm doing coming up in New Jersey at the Taproom Bar and Grill. Mad Peoples and Friends. I'm going to go there. Okay. You get to go there. Please come out.

It'll be mid-November. If I had to guess, it'll be like November. This is not even set up yet. 19th. November 20th. Okay. November 20th. Come out.

You're going to be home for Thanksgiving. We have a special guest who may be dropping in to perform five minutes. I'm going to do five minutes. He's going to do five minutes? I'm going to do five minutes.

Come see Kyle do stand-up for five minutes, dude. I'll be headlining Who Gives a Hoot. Come watch Kyle. Tap bar and grill we'll pull tickets will be on sale soon look for the event bright it's gonna be a bang dude i'm getting anxious thinking about it yeah can i am i allowed to do like uh open mics before yes okay okay yeah how many open mics do you have to do before you like do five minutes stand-up, you think? Depends. Maybe like a year, maybe like two months.

I want a tight five. I'll write with you. Yeah, dude. Okay. Dude, you think you can write with me? Yeah, I have an idea. What if you eat a ketchup-flavored chip on stage, dude? Mean.

Mean. Forcing. That's a bad guess. Thanks, guys. Please keep commenting and liking and sharing the podcast. Thanks, guys. Please keep commenting and liking and sharing all this. We appreciate it. I love you guys. Thank you so much for doing this.

Thank you so much. Why did I just say thanks so much for doing this? I don't know. We're drunk. All right. Peace.