Men At Work Podcast - Police CENSOR Magician, Kyle's Wedding Recap, & Matt's Getting FIRED?!

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

Kyle Pagan and Matt Peoples are in the park recapping Kyle's wedding, Matt's days being numbered due to the Government shutdown, a former tap-dancer tells us about her jazz club, and the police try to censor a Magician in the park and we get involved! <br><br>About Us: The Men At Work Podcast asks one question: What do you do for a living? After that the conversation flows from there. We've talked to substitute teachers, Bangladeshi t-shirt moguls, a real estate broker tight with LeBron James, and the Governor of Literal Pennsylvania. And we'll record anywhere. Random sidewalks during an eclipse, a furry convention, and more! Whether we like it or not, our jobs are most of our lives - might as well yap about it. If you want us to come to your event email us at: [e-mail] <br><br>If you want more bonus content check out Office Hours a weekly workplace advice show on Patreon that subscribers submit their questions to and we answer them: https://www.patreon.com/menatworkpod <br><br>*If you subscribe to the Patreon consider subscribing on a desktop or website or an android device, NOT THROUGH iOS (Apple) APP. Apple takes 30% of every month you're subscribed (yea they suck). <br><br>Follow Us: <br><br>The Pod: <br><br>https://www.tiktok.com/@menatpodcast <br><br>https://www.instagram.com/menatpod/ <br><br>Follow Matt: <br><br>https://www.tiktok.com/@mattpeoplescomedy <br><br>https://www.instagram.com/mattpeoplescomedy/ <br><br>Follow Kyle: <br><br>Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kylepagancb/ <br><br>TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kylepagancb <br><br>Follow Vito: <br><br>https://www.instagram.com/vito_visuals/?hl=en <br><br>

Let him play. Let him perform. Don't draw attention to me. She's coming to get us next, dude. I can't believe you made as part of this. We'll have to. I can't believe in this. Let's go.

Oh, you're going to try to shut that down? Now he's in here. You're in my head. You're in my fucking head. Oh, wow. It's actually pretty good. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

It's actually really good. It is awesome. How do you not love this? that how are you not going to like that guy's stay welcome back to another episode of men at work i am kyle pagan as always joined by matt people's get it together together kid we're back yep it's a show where we talk to people about what they do for a living that's right if you enjoy the show hit subscribe leave a comment on the youtube or review on iTunes and spotify because it helps a ton lets us get more incredible guests mattie dude and we also have a very

special Patreon. Please, guys, join the Patreon. It's $1 for the lowest tier you can get on. You get grandfathered in. We're getting close to that 50 people mark, and then we're to bump the money. But for now, join the Patreon. We do a, it's called office hours once a week on Wednesdays at 8 p.m. Basically a live stream, come hang out with us. Tell us that we're ugly. Tell us we're beautiful. Whatever you have to say. Give us your work problems. Talk about your life. Get in the chat. We just like to hang out with the doggy dogs. Like I said, $1 a month. Get on the Patreon for the love of God. My kids are starving and I have to feed them. Yes. Busy week this week.

Listen, ladies, all our single lady listeners, you have to find some other moderately successful influencer in this world to fall in love with because I am a taken man. Oh, another one bites the dust, dude. Married Pagan. You hate to see it. Yeah, kind of love to see it. I'm not going to lie to you when I saw the ring when you first sat down. It kind of made me happy. I think it's my first feeling of a choring is seeing you with a nice ring all that. I was like, that's nice to say.

It's kind of beautiful. It's a nice, it's really the darkest thing on my entire body. that's right other than my dick what the hell sorry dude don't talk like that sorry sorry i had we had a nice wedding you're supposed to be a matured cool regular guy my mom watches this you look fool you look fool you look fool gym teacher by the way that was like we'll get to the wedding stuff how dare me dude that's a dirty dirty dog i might i might i might censor that no you can't censor that you may not tungston tungsten tungsten that's a word for sure boys out there get the freaking tungsten okay gold i found out sure all time high not all time high but a very high

that is right yeah i'm seeing that quite a lot of like the people who like buy and sell coins. They're like, bring us in our gold. We'll melt it in front of you. We'll call your mom fat, whatever you need. It's, it's big in the air, dude. The gold era. But you got, what's that? What's that? I thought you were saying the brand, dude. You could never be my wife, dude, because you don't listen to me. I literally just said tungsten. I would be such a beautiful wife to you. I swear to God, I watched your entire wedding being like I could be cast right now. She has no idea how lucky she is. But I'm seeing the tungsten. I'm learning the tungsten. I thought that was the brand name. So that's a, what, a fake metal? I think it's the hardest metal this world's ever seen. I'm not even lying. I think. I think

I think it is the most unmalleable metal you've ever seen. Yeah, whatever, dude, of course. Tungsten is the hardest metal? This was forged from the ground of giants. Dude, you might be... This was forged from the Earth's core. You might be Gullum, dude. That is your precious.

And guess what? It only cost me $300 and fellas, that's why you do it, because you don't spend $1,200 on your own ring, or your girl, I guess. You have to spend $1,500 on your girl's ring after you just bought her the... $1,500? You do not spend $500. No, but I'm saying, like, you have to spend $1,000. upwards of that. You have to.

On your girl's ring? No, your girl's ring and then you get the band. Oh, what? Yeah, you didn't know that. I didn't know that either. You did have a live band at the wedding. It's a good point. Yeah, it's true. I forgot about that. Yeah, you spend money on the ring and then you spend money on the band. Okay. And it's just like, where do we come out

smelling good in this? Because I was like, babe, what was the cheapest piece of metal we can get from my arm, my hand, so that when I go on Amazon, I can buy a $10 rubber band and never have to wear this ever out again. Don't be that guy. Enjoy the beauty and the splendor of it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

You really should have a nice, every guy should have a nice tongue. Even if you're not married, go out, buy a tungsten, talk differently to people. Kyle's dressed like a good gym teacher today with something about the wedding band. It gives you a gym teacher allure, dude. Mr. Pagan. I do look like, yeah, I do look like it should be some round some young kids up and playing some dodgeball right now. What the hell has gotten into you? Don't talk about young kids.

Don't talk about your different colored penis. Focus on the task at hand. And the task at hand is, boy, did we go to Kyle. Pagan's wedding this past weekend. Me and Vito behind the camera. What a splendid night. A beautiful... We'll bring him on a little bit.

I would love to hear Vito's account. I think he has to get on a little bit, because I've heard some stories that made me laugh at the wedding. Vito had some all-time lines that he hit towards me at the wedding that I had a hard time reconciling with. Come on. So I knew where to put you guys. I put you right at the same table. Yeah.

I think the funniest part of all that was... So my dad passed away back in 2019, but we were like, hey, listen, Let's do something nice for him. Hold a seat open for him. We got this little thing off of Etsy saying, you know, a memory of Bob Pagan, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Put it at his sister's table with my uncle. A couple of his friends were there and stuff.

His nieces were there. His nephews were there. It'll be a nice little gesture and everything. Where does it end up? It ends up at your guy's fucking table next to me. It was so the fringe in by table. For over two hours, I'm like, this is so honorable of Kyle, do this for me. I didn't know why you do it, but, you know,

you weren't being that honorable. Yeah, this is not the long here at all. I wanted the thing. I'm like, the funny thing about Vito is like, the fact that Kyle let me sit next to his father. Yes. For two hours. It's the most honorable thing. It's the best present I could receive at this wedding. Really?

Because that wasn't the tone that happened. It was more of Vito being like there's a chair in the way. Dude, the whole thing, watching Vito deal with that was in all time. They did the toast. There was several toasts, and Vito was unprepared for the fact that like when there's a speech, there's toast and there's a speech then there's a toast and there's a speech and there's a toast Vito went hog wild did the whole shan the whole one in one in one swig you shot well

luckily there was a luckily there was a backup glass sitting there and it was your late father's which honestly we I don't even I guess I guess cast left one open for you guys I guess I guess maybe someone didn't show up I think it was the organizers didn't know how to handle it so instead of like not giving a glass in front of that chair they're like just to be on the safe side true put one there fair it worked out for me because I got in the champagne huh Your dad got a plate and everything. No, he didn't. He barely ate.

He was... If Vito takes the second chunk, he takes your dad's class, and goes, I guess I'm Bob now. Some girl sitting at the table goes, hey, that's my uncle. I don't have to say that. And I was like, oh, shit, all right, here we go. When the alcohol starts flowing, I just say anything. No? Yeah.

I don't think it's about having a good time, right? It's all about having a good time. Vito had an all-time line. Vito had stuff that I was like, I've said a lot of insane shit in my life. And I feel like I can keep up with most insane shit that people say. Vito had a couple stumpers for me. We went to the bathroom. I had to shit so bad the entire night.

Get in the bathroom. I'm like, God, I got to take a shit. I think I have diarrhea. Good shitting bathrooms? Great shitting bathrooms. But we get in there, I'm like, I think I have diarrhea. I got to take a shit, dude. Vito goes, is it like a respiratory thing?

And I'm like, I don't even have a reply for that. That's not even the right. That's not even the right. That's not even the right. You're both fucking idiots. It's, like, your, like, sinuses and, like, breathing and, yeah. I would have said, yeah. I still forget what the word I'm trying to look for years, but.

100% digestive that's the word i'm looking for digestive system yeah sure so i said respiratory system he's like what the fuck yeah i just had no clue what to say well the problem is i'm not trying to be funny in that case i was just being a fucking idiot so he was stumped by it no i was it was it was a lot of a lot of good times we uh hit the dance floor vito and i doing the nice little trump shimmy shake the entire time we cannot dance at all yeah you guys were good um run on the outskirts of the dance floor nice enough to come out of the table you didn't spend the entire time of the table but also you guys knew kind of your place even though if you guys danced it would have been just fine but it was very funny to watch you guys kind of on the outskirts of the main group of people

that were dancing yeah well we got the memo we got the memo as soon as we got sat at the fucking the outsized table and we said you know what on the outside looking in we're barely here they said when they announced food they brought the plate and they said pigs the slops here hurry peasants at table nine huh the wedding singer here's the mutants at table nine No, it was a beautiful time And just hanging out with Vito And get to see Vito in all form Seeing Vito catch Kyle's mom's ear

About his relationship status for 30 minutes That was a great time Yeah, I forget how that came up I really don't even know how I started talking about that Oh, I know, I know verbatim actually What I was the sonographer of my entire wedding Anything I need to know about my wedding I can't forget half of the stuff

Like how it happened I know what happened I know what happened Kyle's mom sweet woman comes up to me and Gap says How long you've been together for me and Gap said three years she goes oh you guys are coming up next and vita goes i'm actually in a really complicated relationship myself right now i have a hard time knowing if i should commit or not she's not here i'm gonna invite her a little bit though i mean kyle's not gonna let her in

i did not i did i did not let veto that was great i had someone i invited after the at the party and uh you know i thought about hanging out on them afterwards yeah sure so matt and gab are like yeah like you know what kyle's not going to have a problem like it's an after party like invite her yeah yeah yeah no problem gassing me up to like and tell kowal yeah that sounds a guess Now, you guys said, yeah, like, he'll let her. Yeah, I think it'll be fine. Have you guys really like, you guys, you guys built me the confidence to say it. If the big bully is going to bully for the entire time, then you're right.

I was not a big bully. I wouldn't say they persuaded me. They just more so like, yeah, like that. Basically, I said the thing that's cool. And they were like, yeah, yeah, like, you should ask them. And then I was like, all right, cool, I'm going to ask them. And then you were just like, no. I was like, absolutely not.

That's pretty accurate. And it was like a good smile, too, like, no. I'm like, fuck, well. Like the audacity that he would even ask me. And then I told cast like two days later And she goes, why the fuck did you not let her in? And I was like, I don't know, I thought that was weird. You were in Big Boss Kyle mode.

You had a lot going on, you're kissing babies. You were full politician Pagan that night. I was, I was. Once you got me up on stage, head banging and everything. One thing I got to give you guys on, and I think you're on the chair. Right? We are not Jewish. No.

I don't know why the chair came out. Yeah, that was hilarious. And I did not like it. Me and Matt were fucking moving that thing up. We were on the chair the whole time. And then I stage dived, and I'm pretty sure I staged died into both of your arms. I call you. I had a lot of you in my arms the second half of the night. I was on the chair. I went full, like, nervous fat mom where, like, you were on the chair and I was like, oh, get his back. He's going to fall off.

And I just held your lower side the entire time you're up there. Thank you. The MVP was your buddy, though, who was dancing the whole night. That guy was crazy. Yes, he's an animal. He's been talked about a lot after the entire thing. Sure. You would think it was drugs. No cocaine? No cocaine. That felt like an all natural performance. I mean, a little bit of alcohol, of course. That felt like an all natural. But a very, I mean, he is, for the most part, typically, that's his M.O. He will get the party started and he will keep the party started.

And he will then keep the party started until it's like, all right, buddy, the party's over. You got to go back to that. He never got out of hand or anything, though. He didn't. He did puke. And then I did see him with like a four-finger shot worth of Jameson Ginger. And I was like, oh, dude, I'd dry that? He's like, yeah, man, there you go.

So I took it, sipped it a little bit. He went back to dancing. And I just put it on a random table. You don't need this Still, in my wedding I'm still being big boss man You're a politician pagan, dude I was policing

You were on your buddy I will say I did learn that I'm not gay But if a guy gets close enough to me My instinct is to kiss them Because your buddy came up to me like Two or three times on the dance floor It just like grabbed my tie

And I was like I guess I have to kiss him I guess I realize it would be like A little bit of a show stopper That did happen It was a fun time It was a great time There was only one thing that went wrong Now I wanted to hear about this

Did you hear about the Booty Bandit? The Booty Bandit? What happened? What was that? There was a Booty Bandit. What was that mean? One of my grooms, man, got so fucked up. And he was just tapping ass all night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I just figured this is where this was going.

Yeah. I didn't even know. I didn't even know I was like the thing. Gabb wasn't a part of the Booty Bandit? She wouldn't tell me. There were a lot of people that were part of the Booty Bandit. I had no clue even happened. You weren't a part of the Booty Bandit? I didn't even know what happened.

I'm glad the Booty Bandit to get Vito. Vito's like fucking six sense right now. I was the booty band of the whole time. No, I wish he was doing men. That would have been funnier. Unfortunately, I mean, he got my sister-in-law. Like, people called him? I don't think he got my aunt, but I think he hugged her a little more aggressively than you would help someone's aunt.

So we all know who it was, basically what you're saying. Oh, we were, we had to do a little damage control, what's calling in the morning. Friends, family. The problem about it was that it wasn't to like, I didn't have a lot of, like, girls. friends that were there or like I had some girl cousins and everything but nothing that was crazy like if it was like my buddy doing it to like my girlfriends or girlfriends of mine and stuff that's one thing it's like yeah this is how so-and-so goes and everything blah blah blah but the fact that it was like they don't know him to cash his friends that I don't I know a little bit nice enough to know hey how are you hang out a little bit but not like that's just you're not ass lapping close you're not you can't brush it off that has to be addressed there might have been a couple apologies that were divvied out in the morning while we're dealing with two vicious hangovers. So was it an apology that was asked for by the offended? No.

Or it was just you guys said, hey, I heard what happened? We heard the stories. Well, one was that we're talking, like, in front of husbands, too. Oh. In front of boyfriends, too. Oh. Like blatant. And he was a cereal booty band.

How drunk was he like? Oh, he was there. He was in the groomsman's sleep sleeping. Oh, okay. Yeah, you just said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After, uh, one of two Grosven that fell asleep in the Grosven Suite.

Good for them, dude. What else were you to do back there? And the Booty Bandit, uh, apparently at one point, tapped ass, husband poured water on top of his head. No, how did we not see any of this? Didn't stop the Booty Bandit at all. Just kept going. He kept going.

And then. Goat him hydrated. I saw one, and this I think was after we either got on the chair or crowd surfed. Yeah. Uh, booty bander struck again. He's like, this is my opportune time. It was distracted. honestly like i don't want to shout the booty bandit out but shout up to the booty bandit like

he waited in the weeds and he got and he struck when he struck yeah i don't know if we should be happy about anything that happened with the booty bandit but i mean the booty bandit was was uh was on one the booty bandit you know so what are the apologies like the next morning is it a very like jokey or is it like hey for real that was i am so yeah it's pretty it's it's not fun yeah you had to be in the forefront of that whole thing like hey my friend did this to your friends and for sorry i thought i was going to have to handle it i'm glad my beautiful wife handled it um but the booty bandit uh still does not know about i was just gonna say what happened yeah oh he was fucked up like that was so fucked up that it was i mean he he texted me best wedding ever love you and you're like of course and i was

very i was very mad at the booty bandit because me and the booty band had been going through some things. There were some things on the bachelor party. The Booty Bandit has to still get my good graces about. Oh, I know this guy. Yeah, the Booty Band. It sounds like he has some demons of his own that he's dealing with. I think he's got some booty demons. He's got some booty demons. He's got some booty demons. And he took him out

on the damn bridesmaids. He's got some dumper demons. Dumpy demons. I know it's not the one guy I know from your party, right? We'll just call him the booty band. And I didn't get back to him, obviously, because I was a little annoyed. I was obviously, we were doing other things. with family and stuff throughout the weekend. Hits me with an emphasize on the text on Monday. And I was like, oh, sorry, dude, you know.

Emphasize. Real tough weekend, blah, blah, blah. He's begging for it. Great wedding. I'll talk to you when I talk to you. Oh, brother, I've been in that position before where you are trying to, like, feel it out without finding out what you did the night before.

So you send a nice, like, hey, dude, great time last night. And then you're waiting for that to be like, not really. You were a little this and that. And when you get no reply, the sweat starts beating at your forehead. You start shaking. The anxiety kicks in. and that emphasis I can kind of relate to.

I can't relate to the booty banditing, but the emphasis I could totally get where he's coming from. Did we all go through that? We would have periods of time in our life where we just couldn't help it black out and, like, had to get together. Yeah, I was never tapping ass though. I was never being a sexual harassment type of person.

I don't think I was. Maybe it's got nothing to do with me. I was just getting drunk and either angry or sad or something or just really drunk and breaking shit. I don't know. I wish the booty band had got some, I don't know, some Prozac or something like that and just went out into the groomsman suite and stuff.

Was your guys craziest, like, you woke up from, like, a hang, or being, like, drunk and like, wow, I did that, or, like, that happened? Like, what's your guys' craziest story? Definitely, like, I was probably seeing a new girl. I think I just broke up with an ex, and I got fucking hammered. And I think, oh, we went to a bar that I went to, and I went to regularly. And getting kicked out of a bar that you go to regularly, it's like another kind of, like, tail between your legs kind of thing. Sure. and I kind of knew the girls' friends that we were with from like previous friends

and I think I was in the bathroom blacked out and I was talking shit to somebody about the friend being like yeah everybody gets a doornaub everybody gets a turn oh shit and I think one of the close boyfriends or maybe a guy that she was seeing was in the bathroom told her she ripped me a fucking new one that night at the bar in front of everybody not many people there I'm trying to impress this girl I just started talking to yeah and I just started talking to and I just I just remember, I remember, like, coming in and out of it and being like, I'm fucking, I'm sorry, like, all that dumb shit. And then I think I, I think the bartender ended up just getting me and be like, dude, you're not going to win this one go. You got to go home.

Good for him. That's a bro move. Which is a great, a great bartender move. But, like, that was like a tail between your legs that, like, still horrifies me. Yeah, those ones will stick with you, especially, like, getting confronted in a public space and then somebody that, like, you're the one being confronted and then somebody else have to tell you that you have to leave. Yes. That's when you know, like, damn not. I was doubly.

and the wrong on this one. It's the worst. I experienced that too many times, like, hey, like, you got to leave or it's the worst. So many times. I say my period lasted for like five years maybe. I had a problem. All I could do is black out. My problem is like, I had this problem. All I could do was black out five years. He's a blackout band. I need a solution. My problem was I was always trying have a good time. So I never do when it stop. Now I have a way better method. I drink a lot of water as I'm drinking. I don't rush myself all that. I just enjoy my time out now.

I love that verbiage. Get drunk before, so. I was a dumpble. For blacking out. I'm 30 years old and how to drink. Sorry. Yeah, you just drink margaritas with sugar on the rim. Hey, but I drink water in between and don't drink too much. Add-a-boy. I used to do straight-up liquor shots. Yeah, welcome to the 20s.

Yeah. I get actual drinks. The bartender at your wedding, after you get to margaritas like, can you like a sugar rim? And they're like, no. I did. I did. Did you? I did. You know what? I did. At least you're authentic with yourself. He can't be, it's, it's, it's, the Vito is the type of guy that I envy as a person where he'll act the same way towards us that he would towards fucking Barack Obama. There'd be no difference. That is so true, actually.

And I envy that so much, too. It's unbelievable. You know at a state dinner? She's like, do you guys have sugar rims? What kind of fucking operation are we running a room? Everywhere I go, I ask a sugar room. It's going to happen. Vito hits his glass with a spoon and he's like, can I make an announcement?

The girl I'm seeing, we're not like, together together, but there's definitely something that I can feel. Vito sees there were giving speeches at the wedding he's like when am I He kept saying He said

One margarita And I would have went Yeah Dude one margarita I'm open my legs Yeah I always seen on the fact That I had a margarita

With Jason Kelsey though So that was cool Yeah Me like margaritas Is that your margarita Prime? Do you have a Mount Rushmore of margaritas?

That is the best Margarita moment Jason Kelsey I guess that's the one I can think of Oscar's Tavern If anyone knew at Oscar's Tavern

That was my most of the lows And I also do know, I recommend not to get a house margarita at a... I did order a house margarita for, so it's because it's cheaper. Do not get one at cheeks and peace because it was trash. Got it. Okay. We're waiting for... Hey, ladies out there, men out there.

Dollins. My bad for cutting you all. No, please. Dolans and Irish bar in Delco makes a great margarita. I'll stand on it. Okay. All right, there's your Mount Rushmore. Matthew's Margarita Market, the corner.

What did you think about the wedding? The wedding was great. I love you guys set up. I like how it was indoor. outdoor, I like how the actual ceremony happened, like outdoors, but not outside. If that makes any sense, it feels like you had like a, like I said, an indoor, outdoor feel. Do you think I'd cry? I bet on it.

I had you not crying. They all thought you were going to cry. I said there's no way Kyle cries, and you didn't. Yeah. Not real money, but I really caught it. Theoretically, I won a lot of money that night. I was going. Yeah.

I was going. And then her headdress got caught in the back. I saw that. You got a little chuckle out of it. I was like, God damn it, this girl. I could see anxiety in that small moment where she was. She was, like, deciding whether or not to keep it on what it's fucked up or, like, take it off, and then somebody just came and grabbed it.

Well, did you... So, her dad's in a wheelchair. Half wheelchair, half now. He's like a sideboard. By the way, the bro. He was sitting in the back, and he was just, like, chirping everybody that walked by. And, like, a nice way. The absolute bro.

Yes, he's very... Oh, my God, you should have seen him with my mongrel friends just hanging out in the grooms suite. I mean, guys that don't know how to put on a bow tie, and the bow tie's freaking all, is a snap on. Yeah, I've been there. And he's just, I mean, he's the guy who sent Cass to Cotillion, which is like a very proper thing at like 15 years old. My bad. And him just with those mongrels was hilarious. But so he comes down the aisle, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah.

We practice it. It was like, all right, I now got to help him sit down. He takes Cass's veil with him. Did you see that for? No, I did not see that. I mean, shout out to the girl that we hired. Her name's Kat. amazing. Yeah. She was like our, I don't know she's our madder day. I want to get her title

wrong and everything, but she was just like, she was like our girl for the entire thing, like her planet and everything, all that stuff. She rushes over, gets the veil and takes it off perfect time. But man, like, I was like, at that moment, I've never weighed the situation faster. I was like, dad takes a header. Weddings might be off. Wedding might be canceled. Everybody's talking about it. Caskets are veil pulled off. We can live with that. We can fight another day. Good for you. So you're weighing this. out in real time. So I'm taking dad and I'm just laughing to myself as I got him in my

arm making sure he gets to his seat that's like two inches away. Yeah. And Cass just like, oh, oh, bail, veil, veil, veil, veil. And I'm like, sorry, sweetie. We've got bigger fish to fry. I'm keeping your father alive for Christ's sake. We're in this situation out, like you said, I think he chose the right one. In sickness and in health for the whole family.

It's not about you right now. That venue was great, though, and the people were actually really good. And I thought they maximized that space. Like, that layout was great. The cocktail hour out of both with the venue. It was really perfect, dude. I really did like it. like the past drinks. What the what came out? The past drinks?

We sat up, we set it up with, um, the surf sides on the little tray. I did, yeah, that was cool. It was cool. We said, no champagne. We said, these are drink, these people are drinkers. That felt the boys want to get after it. Yeah, the statesides, get them surf sides, put them on a silver palette, hand them out to people.

The boys were fired up, walking through those double doors and there's just like three people standing there with trays of surf sides. People literally like, it's one of those things. It was white trash wedding. You have to auto. It felt good. It felt right. It was white trash.

People saw it. People saw it and they went, oh, oh, yeah. Oh, my God, yeah. It got everybody hyped for reason. Like, we're actually parking at it. It's like, this guy's making $13 an hour. You're not barking at me. There's more for everybody.

Those people were probably so confused because it's like half people walking in yelling. The other half are just going like this the entire fucking wedding. Yeah, they were the whole time. Horns down. It's like four, it's like eight people in that wedding understood what the hell was going on. Even I was confused. I was like, I sort of joined them. It's addictive.

Yeah, I got it in there. Did you get the grill cheese sliders? I said what I missed. And I was upset about that. I was really upset. I missed that one, but I got everything else. Dude, my nephew was like Dawkins in the secondary with the servers. Yeah.

He was just watching the quarterback's eyes the entire time, waiting for the server to bring back the grilled cheese sliders. I'm not going to lie to your other nephew was hitting the hors d'oeuvres pretty hard. I got every single one except for the gross cheese. It was unbelievable. He was a machine. It was impressed. Is the Herber pretty good?

Was it? Kccadis of Herber pretty good? Kccadis are good. I like the lobster roll. Lobster. We didn't get to eat shit. That's what happens when you're in the wedding, though. Like, you're busy talking to everybody.

We've been, so... The place that we got married is called Finley Catering. If you're from Pennsylvania, you'll probably know who they are. They have a bunch of spaces all over Philadelphia. But them and, like, a couple other ones are, like, cream of the fucking crop when it comes to food. And, like, they're half the reason, like, their food at happy hour is, like, why we picked them. Now, the food's left.

Not going to lie, I wish I had, like, a good five minutes for myself just to eat all the food. Because there was, like, shrimp and, like, all this good stuff, mac and cheese. I wish I had five minutes to just, like, fucking house it. And then, like, but then dinner was downstairs. So that was the server line. I'm like, all right, I don't need this food. I'm hungry, but dinner's coming. Orders roll.

Gabb was killing me. With the hors d'oeuvres, Gabb was killing me. Because she's trying to be skinny queen. She's a thin lady, but she's trying to be skinny queen. Orduves would come out. And she's like, you want to split this with me. I'm like, it's fucking three inches long. I don't want to split it with you.

She let the lobster roll on the table. I wanted to eat it so bad. I didn't say anything. I kept to myself. I was like, I was like, you're going to eat that? You're like a dog slover. I knew he was going to laugh at me. I can't ask him for the lobster roll.

You should have asked her for the lobster roll. If I had one more eating anything, I probably would have when it went for it. Dude, you're the dog slavering while the trainer's trying to train and be like, wait for it, wait for it. I can understand. I'm like, how should you not eat that lobster roll? It's a lobster roll. Speaking of being your authentic self, at the very end of the wedding, we're all sitting outside. It's a very nice setting.

I talked to a black gentleman for a while about the New York Giants. Good bro. Great bro. I started talking shit on my mom. I get so comfortable with people when I'm drunk that I start talking shit on my mom. We started talking about the Giants. I was like, my mom's a fucking fake Giants fan. She doesn't give a fuck about them.

She's from New Jersey. And he's like, that's awesome, man. That's crazy. And I was like, what the fuck's up with my mom, man? As we're sitting there, then Kyle comes over, brings out the Stogies. Now, this was both a compliment and an insult, all wrapped into one. Brings the Stogies out. Did I start passing around?

Yeah, you're going. I want to stay, but I got, that whole thing created like an argument for me. Oh, I'm sure. It was never your fault. It was like, she was my fault. She was being impatient. It was my fault. It wasn't.

It could have helped to leave you at this situation, no, but it wasn't your fault. But go on. You were participating in No Nut October. Yeah, well, that was pretty far. I enjoyed being an observer to that. But I will say, the Stogeys come out. They get passed around. And I felt cigars are the only thing that makes me feel like a real man.

They start getting passed out. I see all the other guys kind of not really knowing what to do with them. And I'm a big cigar guy. Yeah. So, you know, I bite the end off and I start lighting it. And Kyle in front of everybody goes, I can't believe someone like you would know how to smoke a cigar. That's crazy.

I would never think that you could smoke a cigar. People start looking at me. They're like, yeah, that's kind of nuts. You're not a smoke a cigar. I'm like, guys, I'm a big boy. You do not strike me as a guy who knows how to smoke a cigar. Well, I did it, and I did a great job. And I started helping other people.

I said, don't worry about getting a cigar cutter. Just bite the tip of it, which, to be fair, brings me back to the gay side a little bit. I'm not going to lie to you. That did not help my cause. I was like, just bite the tip. Call it father, call it poppy, whatever you have to do. But the cigar corner, that's when I kind of realized how annihilated I was. That put me to bed pretty quick.

Scarcorder was a good time. I can't believe that kid just touched the camera. Yeah, I'm over here in fuming. That actually enraged me. It's not even the kids. It's the fact that the ladies sit there and smiled. Yeah, like, where's the parenting? Like, that's why I'm thinking.

Yeah. I'm going to go to the biographer. I just droves me nuts. All right. We'll take a break right now. We're going to drop kick some children. We'll be right back. All right, we're back.

We're back, dude. Well, we got, look, we got the nice, fun, cheery stuff out of the way. Kyle had a beautiful wedding. Oh, it was very nice. I had a great time. It was so nice seeing my friend with the woman he loved. Me, on the other hand, dude, I might be out of the damn job. When the, we got to get in the breadline.

Dude, that wedding gift, I might need that back. You know what? You need it back? I'll give it back. I'll get it back. Anyone, hey, listen, here's some good financial advice. If you want to, like, get a down payment for a wedding, I mean, get a down payment for a house. Probably not a house nowadays.

But you want to get, you know, make some cash real quickly. Yeah. Get fucking married, dude. Dude, I didn't hear it. People get money like, I was like, wow, thanks, guys. I'm hearing people talk about weddings. Like, it's a fucking business endeavor where they're like, if we could break even at this number, but if here we're in the green. It's like, what do you mean you're in the green?

Dude, the ROI was great. I can't imagine. And I hit you with a Venmo, which I felt like a complete scuzzball about. That's the way to go. That's kind of what I thought, too. Gab fought me a little bit on it, but I was like, I think just sending it directly to his pocket might be the move. Do you many people came up during the wedding were like, I forgot my card in the hotel room? I'll Venmo you tomorrow.

I'm still getting Venmos today from people. Is that right? Oh, yeah. It doesn't matter anymore, dude. We've thrown respect and grace and humility and societal norms. This has been out the window for years. Dude, once the tungsten came off, the morals came off. We're buying tungsten now over gold.

We used to fight wars in this country. Now we just fight with each other until the government says, hey, you guys can go back to work. How's that going? It's not going super terrific, dude. Can you explain to shut down to people? yeah you just basically the government allocates a certain budget and uh they have to have a certain number of people in congress and senators that agree to that budget and if there's a lopsided or like an even uh member of senators and congressmen they can kind of not get the number of votes they need to agree to a budget and then if there's not agreed to a budget they go all right the lights are turning off sorry until we agree to it there's no government but only certain parts of the government like shut down like the fAA still has to run flights and stuff yeah but apparently like stuff like that where uh air traffic control They have to keep working, but they don't get paid. So what they're doing is they're like, fuck you, I'll take sick time, then.

I'll just be out for the next week. So they... They hit them with the Uno Reverse. They absolutely have reversed. Dude, our FAA controllers out there, we feel for you, but please don't hit them with the Uno Reverse. You are a necessary evil. We need you, big dogs.

Not evil. That's very good. We love having you guys. Are people in the sky, our eyes in the skies? There should be some Jaws where it's like no Uno Reverse card. Well, I'll tell you what. So they're fucking, they're shutting us down. my place. I've been told that we have about

seven to ten days left until we just got to stay home, which I hate to say, I'm such a fucking loser that I'm almost looking forward to getting some off time. Just to sit home let Gab take care of the bills. You want to be big dog now? You want to pay the bills. You have fun with that, sweetheart.

Now, I will say, I have learned. That's right, dude. You want to be the man of the house? Time to be the man of the house. Why don't you go fucking start doing stand-up comedy for 11 people and making $12. Bring it home, put it into the piggyback. All right? Why don't you sit on the couch and drink until 1 a.m.

Put on Star Wars highlights, all right? Not as easy as it looks. I have a problem. Dude, it would be sick. Everybody getting government shut down. The amount of weddings about to happen in the next two weeks, dude. A lot of shotgun weddings being like, we need money anyway, we can get it. We're getting married at a fire hole.

True. Put a $100 down payment. Everybody comes out. You make a quick, like, $8,000. Gift $200 minimum. You got to start sending the gift prices. A minimum? Minimum.

That's going to be a minimum. them and there might be a cash bar no actually you know it everybody at the front door it's like it's like a ticket to get into a show yeah you got a hand on the card the the the couple gets to read it validate it they let validate it they see how much you give them cash bar or or uh or a bar yeah it's your it's your pick the cash bar has only sewage water and then the open bar has beer and wine but it's actually i mean i would just i have a girlfriend as a bartender as soon as we're done the wedding i'd be like get fucking behind the bar and get to work we got bills to pay sweetie pot But, yeah, the shutdown is happening.

Does it affect you, like, your day-to-day? Not yet. I mean, it's literally about to, like, make my job not happen. Where they're just going to, they're literally going to say, like, go home and don't touch your laptop. Because if you do try to work in some capacity, then you have, like, a legal standing to be like, well. Ice knocks down your door? Ice, well, ice comes. I might a $50,000 signing bonus.

Yeah, seriously. I would love to join those fat retards out there, dude. Not good. And I don't think it needs to be. Yeah. Gwapo, guapo, guapo, gringo. Penta. That's all I'm not.

Every language, I just know curse words. That's how cultured I am. It's better than me. I mean, that would kind of make you fit in with the dogs, though. But, yeah, so no true end in sight. Everyone's lying. That's the thing that I think is killing me, because I'm in the middle of it.

I can't help but notice how aggressively everybody's lying. And you're just like a small, a small cog in the wheel. I just, let me get my nut, dude. Let me get out there. Let me work my 40 hours. Get my nut. And I'll be out of your way. But I got the...

It's like 300 representatives that are just like fucking hundreds of thousands of other people. And they get paid, by the way. Their salaries are still flowing in. Oh. Oh, yeah. They're having a grand old time. That's nuts. Dude, I can't think of another job where when your business closes down, you still get paid and you're still in charge of when the business opens.

That's crazy. It literally sounds like the way that a little kid would picture what having a job is. It's the crazy. craziest shit of all time. And apparently the pubs are saying we're not, we're not agreeing to giving illegal immigrants health care. And the Democrats are saying, that's literally never even been possible. What are you talking about? And then they just stare at each other. And you watch guys like Mike Johnson, who looks like he would be a villain in Ratatoui. Did you, go ahead. No, please. Do you see how he was like, I don't like that bad money. Yeah. Lee Greenwood should

be the halftime show. It's like, fuck you, dude. What's he going to do? Play one song? What's Lee Greenwood going to do? Play one fucking song? Literally, you're going to have a... It's a four-minute halftime show, and it's really no pirate technique. It's just a guy on a stage does a song, and then he gets out of there.

It's going to be playing, what, acoustic guitar on the stage? With no amps. Just like, I hope you can hear it. Listen in very close. The guy in Section 432, who paid five grand for his ticket. She's like, what's that old geyser playing down there?

Listen, folks, I know Bad Bunny might not be ideal for everybody. I don't understand any of his fucking songs either. But you know he's going to be shaking his ass in February? When Bad Bunny gets on the stage? age, this guy. Oh, you're going.

No. What? I mean, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, oh, I thought you're just going to his concert. That was your way of introducing the year a bad buddy kind of fan to me. Did I, do I, do I understand why he was, like, telling his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, one of, his, he, know, I don't understand his sex with, but you know, he's going to be shaking his ass, because he doesn't understand the words, this guy.

Now we're back, okay, that guy's going to be there talking about his aunt, okay? Talk, bring your aunt. Why not, who knows? Sure. The mood is separated. Yeah, I mean, the booty band had already got her. True. We could swap stories.

Then you could just blame it on him. Yeah. Get a little tap in. That's disgusting. Anyway. Sorry to your aunt. Back to the shutdown. But the, no, well, I actually kind of like the bad bunny thing.

That whole thing, it goes back to the Kimmel thing. We talked about it a couple episodes ago where it's like having to defend people you don't like at all. Yeah. Even is the most confounding stance that to be a part of. Like, I have never liked Bad Bunny, and I can't talk about it for the next. four months. Like, I think Bad Bunny sounds like a deaf Puerto Rican guy when he sings.

Okay, that's going to get cut. True. No, no, it's good. But it's, I mean, I'm not a fan of his, but he's an American citizen. He's one of us. Get him on the stage. Let him babble. Shake his hips. Dress a little bit like a lady. One of the streamed artists in the world. Let him have fun. And look, does the music fucking suck? Yeah, it's awful. It's

Bruder to listen to. And does your girlfriend listen to it? Yeah. And does she think he's hot and you can tell? She never admitted it? 100%. Yeah. But that doesn't mean in America

that we can't have that guy bopping or... I mean, the past three Super Bowls have been totally unintelligible. Oh. Most streamed halftime show of all time last year, Somersine. Well, I hope this one beats it. Yeah, we are getting nuked right now by fucking... What are those things coming from the tree? There's nuts coming from the tree.

We're getting palanteered right now. They're trying to shut us down, dude. We're getting droned. struck They're talking about bad bonnie drop a couple of corns A corns Dude no moss

No maas No maas no maus We negotiated a peace deal With the Rittenhouse Square I'm getting pieced up in this deal What the hell What the hell in the crap Yeah dude so what do you got

You got eight days left I got eight days until they kicked me out And it's I'm telling you like The thing that I keep coming back to It's just people lying And lying bad And And lying bad and watching angry dudes talk like Stephen Miller, somebody's got to tell him, he's got gay voice, he has no clue.

Every time, I watched him hit, watching people try to hit like a fake villainous laugh is the funniest thing, where he got asked a question about, like, is ICE targeting specifically brown people? He goes, what a stupid question. It's like, dude, I'll give you a wedgy so far. It goes over top of your head. Now, that's not hate speech. I think that has to, what pisses people off a lot is that you guys. could beat up politicians. Yeah.

And I just can't beat up politicians because it's a felony. Yes. Like, you just, like, I can't believe, like, it doesn't even just go with politicians. It's like, I've never worked for a CEO that I couldn't beat up. Yes, that's what it is. And it's the kid, when I was in high school, there was a kid in my biology class. And he had a lead pencil, and he would stab you in the arm as hard as he could. Yeah.

So eventually, I just fucking wound up, just caught him here, gave him an honest, hey, cut the crud. Of course, my small, potentially lesbian biology teacher, sees me do this, Matt, get out of here. I swear to God, like a movie, I leave the classroom. I look back at him, he's like this. Unbelievable. That's every politician. Every politician right now is stabbing you with a pencil,

and then you try to fight back, and they're going like this too. Bye-bye. Have fun in alligator, Alcatraz. See ya. It's not good. I hate that. So, in summation, everything's bad. It's not getting any better.

We're all going to die soon. We're positive. But we had a beautiful way. I just got married. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We had a beautiful way. We need a beautiful wedding, folks. Let's get some people on.

Please. Just beautiful lady. How are you, Miss? Hello. Do you want to come on the podcast and talk about what you do for a living? Do you want to come on the podcast and talk about what you do for a living? Like five minutes of your time. Good.

What did you used to do? I'd love to talk to you about dancing. Just sit on this side for me? These are better headphones. Please, yeah. Thank you so much. We appreciate it. It's a nice time.

We joke around. It's very loosey-goosey, so nothing too crazy. Don't fall in love of this, though, okay? Please, yeah. We know we're a couple of Casanova's guys like us, so. And can you hear us? No. How about now?

No, I hear you better without this. Do you really? Yeah. You sure they're on your ears? Yeah. I'm glad. I hear you. Okay.

All right. I like that. I like that. So what's your first name? Marlene. Marlene. I'm Kyle. This is Matt.

Nice to beat you. Okay. You're retired now? Yeah. But you were a dancer? I danced. Yeah. In nightclubs.

In nightclubs? Yeah. Tap dancing. Okay. All right. All right. I'm glad you said that. I was kind of kind of...

And I taught tap and ballet. Yeah. And I did a lot of the... You don't know what jitterbug is. Of course you know what the jitterbug is. Jitterbug. Okay. Yeah.

We're out here every Sunday jitterbogging. Are you? There's a group in the back. Your age. Nah. Yeah. Is the jitterbug coming back? Is that like kind of popular?

Well, they don't call it jitterbog. What do they call it? The dugie? Lindy or whatever. You know, other things. But it's the jitterbug. Got it. I can't believe the jitterbug having a resurgence now.

I would have never thought. Are you the one teaching them how to jitterbug while they're here? No, they know. They're all good. Oh, really? Everybody's good in the back on Sundays, around 1.30. Now, how is the new generation dancing as a whole, though? Do you think it was better back in your time, or are they actually getting a little bit better now?

I think it was better back in my time. Is that right? Okay. What do you think the big difference is? I think rhythm. You think you have more rhythm than we do now? Wow. I don't know.

I've seen the charles. Although I don't know the new music. I'm not big on the new music. Okay. I did own a jazz club. Did you? Really? In the city of Philadelphia?

The biggest jazz club in Philadelphia. What was it called? It was called Peps. It's still online if you look it off. Yeah, yeah. Peps Jazz Club. Where was it located? Broad and South.

And so now, is that the Peps bowling now? No. No, it's not. Broad and South. When I left it, it closed. Okay. Let me ask you about running a jazz club, I hear a lot of, like, when the experimental jazz was coming out.

And I'm assuming you would kind of audition people to see if they could work in your club or if they were kind of fitting the vibe. No, we just had the top entertainment. Is that right? Everybody that was really well-known. Any names? I don't know. I probably wouldn't know.

You're too young. Like Lou Rolls. Yeah, Lou Rawls. We got the internet, miss. We had, yeah. Okay. Did you see them when they were, like, coming up, or they were already pretty established? Okay.

Yeah. No, it was a top. What about that one guy? Marty? Louis Armstrong? Louis Armstrong? Did he come through? I didn't have him.

Didn't have him? Nice. Anybody that you saw coming up that you thought should have really taken off and they just kind of, it didn't work out for one reason or another? Like anybody that was like one of your personal favorites? They were already all well-known when they came, yeah. Okay. How were they to work with? Were they kind of like a little old?

I didn't work with them. I don't work themselves. Okay. I took care of the money. Got it. I like that. Smart. Smart.

Now, are you around the time of Studio 54? Yes. Okay. How did your jazz club compared to? Studio 54. Well, it was totally different. Less drugs? Well, no.

No, I like that. At that time, I was very young. I wasn't into the drugs. Yeah, I like that. But, no, Studio 54 was really a good club, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've been there a couple times?

Yeah, I was there a couple times. It's not still there, right? I don't think so. No, I feel like they've tried to bring it back a couple times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just, you did jazz, and then you got out of the jazz club, and you kind of just chill now? Or you tap dance, or how did you kind of? career go well my dancing career didn't go that far because I got married a very young

okay yeah I married my first husband because he was a good dancer really that didn't work out yeah I hear that I've heard similar stories yeah they lock you in with the hips and they can't commit and I hear you had a couple ladies like that back in my time yeah yeah yeah you see a lady out of dance for just absolutely hitting it and you're like let me see what's up here oh yeah and they cheat on you with your you know cousin but that's always gonna happen I've seen you dance literally at my wedding yeah it's great It's great stuff Oh man

Well that's awesome So tap dancing nightlife How is the nightlife I mean is it like a big drinking environment Or are people kind of go in there because they're No Like when you were like Oh yeah

I drank a lot Yeah yeah yeah What's the drink of choice to get you fueled up for a night of dancing I'm a straight vodka On the rocks or neat On the rocks All right all right At least we have some decency thank you

I thought you just shoot I thought you're our cameraman No, I used to have like six vodka, isn't I? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. How much are we up to now, eat? No, now I'm down to maybe one. All right, all right, yeah.

Can you be honest. I respect that. Even LeBron had to retire at some point. That's right. Yeah. Does the drinking? Because I notice a lot of performers, they're almost like they need a drink to kind of make stuff happen. Do you think the drinking was an essential part to kind of get people loosened up and relax to go dance?

Or you don't think you barely need it. No, I don't think so. Maybe some people. Yeah. I need at least four drinks This is on Sunday That's the jitterbug you're talking about And this is the jitterbug

Yeah, I'm in the back I'm in the blue How are you still holding up? You still doing the jitterbug? Yeah, I'm still out there every Sunday Good for you I'm 86 years old 86? 86, you don't

You don't know as young as hell But dancing might keep you going He's trying to give me some guff He just had his wedding and I was out on the dance floor Doing a great job How many times you've been married? Twice. Got any advice for the first one, how to make it?

No, just make sure that you have the same interest and you're easy to get along with it. Yeah, but you and the guy had dancing as an interest. But you and the guy had dancing as an interest. He just wasn't easy to get along with the other part that was important. It's got to be tough getting in a fight with somebody who's equally as good at dancing. The entire time, you're just kind of like, you're an asshole, you drink too much. It's like, you fucking drink too. much six vodkas a night what are we talking about

oh well that's fair that's fair I love that I love that hey shout out to you so much we appreciate thanks for because we like to figure out what people do for a living and we like to meet people like you yeah and then we like to you do with you he'll never know

we put on YouTube Spotify it's a podcast and some people to listen to yeah it's like a little radio show basically yeah Do you have fun? Good. Good. Yeah, I know, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, now we're on the internet. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming on. It was very nice meeting. Thank you very much. I'm going to go drink then. Bad a lady, I like that.

Make it two to tonight. I love it. That's great. It's so nice beat. I like you so much for hanging out on this. We really appreciate it. Cheers. I can live and dancing scared her away.

I do. Dancing and they're going, okay. See, like, I love that. I love it. I want to say this the right way Oh God You could never make it as a tap dancer nowadays To have a functional income

And it looks like that lady's going to like a beautiful hotel To go have a nice vodka on the rocks You do The American Dream I just want to get back to that I just want to get back to being like You don't have to perform In stadiums worldwide

To be able to be able to be able to afford a house nowadays. There is something to the effect of you hear what people that are a little bit older used to do as a living where you'd be like, what'd you do for work? And they're like, I used to clean a corner of a pool and I bought a seven-figure house. It's like, what are we talking about? My fucking grandfather was a janitor at Merck. Shout out the Grams.

He watches this. He was a janitor at Merck and he worked doubles and he worked his ass off. Yeah. But he also had great stock options within Merck. And his wife obviously worked there too, so they double dipped a little bit. But he's one of the richest guys I fucking know. It's unbelievable. And the guy swabbed decks in.

the Navy and then he swabbed decks at Merck and stuff and it's just like he was I was like damn how'd you work that many doubles he goes that you know so in the second shift I would have guys watch out for me while I go and have a nap in the in the custodian closet or something like that I'm like that's the fucking American dream they'll tell you they're like so it wasn't always buying avocado toast that was actually out there putting some work it did everybody over the age of 70 was an alcoholic while making seven figures a year that's how little they had to do it it was they would literally go to work for four hours, have sex with their secretary, come home to their wife, and they would be

a multi-millionaire. Back of the day, dude, it's a different time, it's a different time. But shout out to Marlene. Charlotte Marlene. She was a club owner, so maybe that's where she made all our money and shit and stuff. Maybe I don't know, man. She was no fan of mine. I'm going to start tap dancing.

It's an Irish thing. It's an Irish thing. It absolutely is. Gigging is an Irish thing. If you're watching this at home, please confirm in the comments, absolutely. Tap dancing is an Irish chick. I promise you tap dancing is an Irish thing. You know, can you look that up?

Yeah, if it's an Irish thing or not. There's a place at Disney Springs at an Irish bar where they do a live tap dancing performance. It's got to be Italian the way those people yap and talk with their hands. Now, I agree with you there. Unfortunately, they talk with their feet. Now, you might be right. I did learn something about the Italian anatomy. Go ahead.

You have an answer to the Irish jigging or tap dancing? No, tap dancing is not Irish. Rather, it is an American dance form that developed from a fusion of Irish step dancing and English clog dances combined with West. African rhythms and styles West African You're gonna have it Wow

God damn black people own dancing They're good at they did at all We should have known it came from some Swahili shit When they tell you that we stole everything from them They kind of mean it Rock and roll Jazz

If you go back Like fucking tap dancing We sold tab dancing We sold tab dancing It's unbelievable comedy Now they do all the stealing All right Damn it

Yeah it's kind of unbelievable dude But I was telling you I learned something about the Italian anatomy. Italian people, you know that they're like kind of like louder and more outspoken? I've heard. Do you know why that is? No.

No one can fucking hear them from down there. You know what I'm talking about guys? Italian people are short. Grow a little bit. Fuck you guys, dumbasses. We can't even talk shit because all the inches that should be on their body or on their dicks. My barber's an Italian guy. We just talked about a hugest penis was for the afternoon.

Oh yeah. Are they known to be packing? Sure. Wow. You didn't know this? No. The Italians, they're known to have the hoggeronies. just thought us white guys some god decided he picked a couple and god decided the other ones

were just not getting it yeah i think like the actual because it's weird that i don't want to i don't know how to talk about this but italians and irish people the fact that they're both white feels kind of not weird you know it kind of proves you how much of the endomology it doesn't feel right yeah yeah it kind of proves you how much of a made-up thing being white we like potatoes which are a very bland food and they make some of the greatest food

of all time. Truly the greatest cuisine and then I think Irish people make like mud on top of a flaky crust. Oh. Let him

go. They're kicking the magician out. Oh, no, dude. She's going to tase him. This is awesome. These kids are being, now he's telling right now that we have a guy

that's a street perform over there. Mm-hmm. who's actually was putting on a pretty good show. He's doing pretty good. She's coming off next to you. Yeah, I know.

How the fuck are we good? I promise you at some point in the next couple seconds he's going to point over and be like, so they could do this? Yeah. You don't need a permit for First Amendment rights. That's right. So his argument,

he's holding three bowling pins and yelling about his First Amendment rights. If you would like a microcosm of what America is now, it would be this exact setting right now. Yeah. Watching a street before, Vito, if we can get Vito. Let's get your camera on him.

Just a little inconspicuously. See, I... Let the street performer just fucking... Like, all respect to this woman here. You know, obviously, she's probably a hard-working lady. She's probably had a tough time and everything. But, like, you're not... You know, you're just...

You don't want to... I'm trying to figure out how to say... Because I'm just waiting for this guy to pull out a gun and jump. shooter because this is American 2025. You just like it's Friday

everybody's enjoying the park just let the fucking whack job do the whack job thing for an hour and then let the whack job go along his way. It's like

he's angrily prefer he's he's pissed he's chuckling he's he's it's so funny

Two straight performances while you're furious. For my next fucking trick, I'm going to fucking do the pins again, all right? If that's okay, if that's all right. Holy hell. Let him play. Let him perform. Don't draw attention to me. She's coming to get us next, dude.

This is unbelievable. Fuck this, dude. What gives a shit? She's traumatizing us. There's a guy doing fucking art over there. There's a dude taking pictures over here. A guy's selling. his stupid fucking paintings over there.

They've got two gay guys in a podcast right here. 100%. We're not any better than this guy is. I mean, he does the rolling trick again. I'm probably going to need him to go

because it sucks. Yeah. But like, let's do some juggling. It's one of those things. You got to stick up for him because you don't think what he's doing is great, but you believe in him as an American.

But also, like, he might have a knife in that bag. Is this woman really bound to get stabbed over this? Yeah, I think sometimes you get to a certain position in life and you go, just fucking do it.

I mean, I'm jumping over there if anything happens. I'm diving right behind you. I'm glad we have an exit strategy. You're my body shield, dude. You're my Hamas. Human shield, honestly, yeah. I can't believe people are still watching. Like, there's people that are, like, kind of still watching as if they're like,

I will let them get back to it, and then we'll kind of figure this out. We've got three vests coming in now. There's literally, dudes. I mean, it's believable. It's unbelievable. We are watching a master. At work, folks. So I'm fucking spinning the frisbee on a fucking thing, all right?

I'm doing the fucking frisbee. You want to see how it works? You want to see how it works? I got a weight at the bottom of the fucking bowl. That's how I get the frisbee on air. What if he splits her in half? That's kind of hot. Come on.

You got wedding on the brain, dude. If he gets kicked off, he's the next guest. I don't care what anyone says. Yeah, that'll be great. And, of course, you'll make him set on my side, too. Better head fence. Yeah, whatever. Better head fence.

Unbelievable. I've seen this guy in the park, too. Before. I've never seen him. I've seen it before. Now, you know the issue, we don't have Spider-Man here to, like, defend him. That is true. We do need the web-slinging.

Oh, dude, just having an Australian Spider-Man coming over to mediate this. All right, which guy are going on? You can't let him spin his frisbee, right? Come on, let him go. Oh, my God. Park Ranger. This is crazy. It's unbelievable, dude.

This is nuts. I don't love his argument I don't even know that she's doing anything She hasn't stopped him I think she called him backup Oh backup is taking their sweet line He's losing his audience Do the pins

Do the bowling pins We want the pins We want the pins Oh he's very close to her Okay What do you think he's going to do with that footage later on Wack off? Yeah, this is definitely, he's going to put, he's going to take one of his socks and tie it around his neck

and then do him some things to himself. How long have we been going? This is fucking, holy shit, we've been an hour. Yeah. This isn't how we might finish the episode. Yeah, I'll find out of that. Just narrating this guy. I kind of like the idea of just a one interview.

We talked about the wedding. Now, I'm just actually saying in real time. what the world needs now is bowling pins to be fair what did he say there's no sign isn't for money I think that's what that's what I mean because we've had these people come up to us before and be like hey you guys can't sound anything here we're just doing a podcast yeah okay we'll leave you alone yeah I kind of understand why he's getting talk I mean I'm not going to lie to you I did we have much larger of an operation

happening and nobody has settled we have cameras we have a full table we have a thing equipment we're holding microphones and headphones then they're like you're all good man now if now if we start doing our microphone should we start performing for the kids then they're going to come for it let's go let's go let's go nuts getting back to it let's go let's go oh you're going to try to shut that down now he's in it she's you're in my head you're in my fucking had a kid. Oh, wow, it's actually pretty good. Woo! Hell yeah.

Hell yeah. It's actually really good. That is awesome. How do you not love that? How are you not going to like that guy stay? All right. Okay. To let me leave or stay because we live in the United States of America. The First Amendment rights to the Constitution.

I agree, my brother. Allow me to do my act. Now, if you see what she's doing, it's clear harassment. I, well, yeah, it's pushing it. She keeps talking to me. She hasn't identified who she even is. So if she's... Her back says Park Ranger.

I don't think it's Stolen Valor. Miss, are you... I don't think it's stolen valor. Is that... Miss Park Ranger. Are you a park ranger? She doesn't want to talk to you. She said yes.

I'm going to say we've identified that she's a stolen... Yes. That's on her back. Yes, she just showed us. I've been doing this for over 10 years. Can we see the pins? She's a psycho. Can we do the pins?

I do. my whole show, and if people want to tip me, I can't stop. But, which means I don't soliciting. Yes. Soliciting is asking. I don't ask. We have to look at the rules of soliciting before we get out of here. People want, if you wanted to give me, if I'm walking down the street here and you say, Hey, buddy, come here. There's $100. They can't stop. I, brother, you're...

He's looking close. Look, look, she's still. Yeah, get away from my stuff. I already told you. I think she's got a motor roller razor. Don't worry. She's taking a picture with motor roller. razor. Those are coming out in 360P. Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts. Hey, Big Dog, can we, can we see the pins before they let

kick you out? I don't want to hang out with this guy for Christ. This guy's awesome. No, he's not. Yes, he is. He's a loose cannon. Yeah, but he's not going to stab us. He's going to stab her. I don't want to anybody. I want to get hugged, and that's it. I don't want anybody getting frigged. I want the fucking pins. Is that too much to ask? I'm a married man.

I haven't had a pin in Bwigs. I can't believe you made as part of them. We'll have to. I can't believe it. I think what you just turn the microphone and go okay thank you sir I go away yeah see she's not doing it I think what you should do is yeah don't you want to perform let him perform let him perform

sir I think your own seat that's what she's trying to do I like this girl this girl right yes um this is you gotta make your own Sir, I think you have to make, like, 1700 France, and you have to defy the king, and you have to perform. That's what they did. Yeah, I know, and there's some bad stuff that happened. Yeah, I mean, we agreed with democracy.

Democratic control. The city hall here, the mayor, especially the DA Krasner, is complete a total match-off. Yeah, I think it goes above that, but I think, like, just perform. Yeah, I am, but she's seeing what she's doing. But she's sitting there right there. She's not going to knock things out. Yeah, work around her. Yeah, imagine it's like...

But you're an entertainer. Yeah. You're an entertainer. But the thing I don't like is she scared the kids. But the kids need to learn about sticking up for their First Amendment rights. The kids do need to know about their First Amendment rights at age of four. Like people here, this piece of... I'm not going to go into any other explanation.

But these people go and put... They're waiting around, and they don't have the authority to do that. I think you should go perform. Only the Philadelphia police have the right. And even the cops won't pass me. I've been doing this for over 10 years. I've been doing this for over 10 years. Well, I think you have to go protest by performing.

She needs to leave me alone. Go perform. There's our boy, too. I think, all right, I was not on board initially, but I think we made something beautiful happen in this country right there. This is exactly what art is all about. I don't think that's what art is about. performing

Yeah, okay I mean, to be fair The guy is Nice as hell at it He's great at Look at that He's kind of a dog Look at that

He's talking shit While he's performing That's Michael Jordan In the flesh He's Kobe Bryant Dude, this is his flu game Oh, I wish He could do magic

I know And give me the bowling Like behind the back The fucking bowling pin Look, it's behind your ear Right? You happy? He's got to go

For a little longer Yeah Now he's starting To make us look like fools No he's not This is awesome Well the fact that he's Not the fact that he's

making us look like fools. That's what I'm saying. We're sticking up for them. Can we do the bowling pins, please? Do the bowling pin, double dutch, fucking juggle the baseball, basketball, all at once. I can't believe this is what's happening in the world right now. Honestly, the world's kind of crazy. This is actually probably the best thing that's happened in the world right now.

Just a park ranger and a magician not seeing eye to eye. Also, nothing's happening. Like, the funniest part is like, she's young, but nothing's... Yeah, and that we're looking jackasses. Come on, dude. We were on your side. All right, we're going to... Park Ranger.

We're with her now. No. But he's stumbled, dude. He's... Yeah, but what happens when he stumble? Get back up. You keep juggling. The other park ranger

literally walks away and goes inside of the place. That's where I'm talking about. And kind of gives up. This might be the greatest episode of all time. Some are saying. Eh, he's not... Yeah, now we're looking like fucking fools. Yeah.

He performs better with an audience. The audience going away. It took the electricity out of his performance. That is fair. She has gotten in his head. I mean, what is that? We got a dog with shoes on. Something's going on, dude.

Something's going on. It's kind of be a full moon tonight. Something's going different, dude. Marlene, I think, put a fucking hex on us. She might have hit us with, like, the witch from weapons right there. Wrap the hair around the stick and broke it. Not a bad way past time I think we do need the pins

The pins are essential But I don't think we do the pins I think we need the pole on the chin With the frisbee going And I need to see those balls flying around She's identified herself I think she's a park ranger Unless she stole valor

She's definitely a park ranger All right well this is the episode What have we learned today? I'm off the market Gone Matt's got eight days left of his job That's right can't do any art here

in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and Rittenhouse Square. Yeah, keep an eye out for me, dude. If things go sideways, I might be out here because I can't do any tricks. I'll just take the other part of his job of arguing with park rangers. I'll bring all the supplies

and then I'll just start yelling at park rangers. They're like, no, do you think? And I'm like, no, you don't fucking want me here, do you? You're a piece of shit. No, sir, you seriously, you're totally fine. We're going to see how this plays out, but we'll talk to you next week. Join the Patreon.

Please come on Patreon. And we'll see you this week. See you guys. Bye. Bye. Thank you.