Men At Work Podcast - We Found the Most Fired Man in America

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

Kyle and Matt are at the Commonwealth Cup, an Ultimate Frisbee competition that pits Philadelphia vs. Pittsburgh, to compete in a halftime tomato pie eating contest Kyle won last year. It's a podcast divided. They talk to a former Air Force cook turned student who talks about going to college in your 30s, working with civilians in the military, and replacing cadets for drills. After the competition one of the competitors comes on to talk about his truly remarkable resume that includes two companies he runs, bartending, being chased by parents as a youth sports ref, a substitute teacher, PO officer, and the countless other jobs he's been fired from. This guy has stories for DAYS! If you want to watch the Tomato Pie Eating Contest the link is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNrCEFjOGrA Check out our sponsor Thrive Flower! Thrive sells real cannabis products outside of the medical system. They have 9 strains of flower, 6 strains of pre rolled joints, 4 strains of vapes, gummies, and lemonades. They are the first and only company offering same day cannabis delivery within Philly. Order your cannabis at https://thriveflower.com/ and it will be delivered in about an hour. Use code menatwork15 for 15% off orders. Simply choose “same day delivery” during checkout. This applies for Philly residents ONLY. About Us: The Men At Work Podcast asks one question: What do you do for work? After that the conversation flows from there. We’ve met substitute teachers, Bangladeshi t-shirt moguls, a real estate broker tight with LeBron James, and more. And we’ll record anywhere. Random sidewalks during an eclipse, a baseball game, a bar crawl, casino, and more. We like to find out what people do for a living. If you want us to come to your event email us at: [e-mail] APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/4XcFWt0... If you want more bonus content from every episode check out our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/menatworkpod

Right now, I'm actually the CEO of two companies. I'm the only CEO in the country that lives with his mother. And sometimes the waffles aren't done right, and I've got to tell her, listen, I'm a CEO. So you run them from the rents house? Yes. And my mother is the, actually, she's the manager of the warehouse. You also are a bartender?

Bartending versus being a CEO. Which one's more lucrative? Bartending. Three, two, one. Welcome back to another episode of Men at Work podcast we are here at the philadelphia phoenix versus the pittsburgh thunderbirds ultimate frisbee game today the commonwealth cup is on the line i know you probably think it's absolutely crazy i'm kyle pagan as always i'm joined by matt peoples and this is your first time watching the pod welcome we just ask people what they do

for a living and kind of let the conversation go from there. It's a very easy concept. They know, dude. We got our returning listeners. If we have new listeners, just sit down and watch, dude. Take an edible, have a beer, and just check us out. We're good dudes. We are the point of the podcast in looser terms.

We sit at different places and we bother people to come talk to us. And a lot of times it's pretty fun. I'm actually pretty excited to be here, dude. I was an ultimate Frisbee head back in college uh that's what you did when you started to slowly assume and realize that your athleticism was leaving your body not to say these guys aren't great athletes what's your role with in college what kind of like crowd honestly it was uh it was kind of like a full house but if it was about diversity in the united states it was me an autistic dude a puerto rican guy and a turkish dude and it was the best experience of all time.

Because of my voice. It really was, dude. The United Nations. And it was sick, dude. That's why you go to college. I went to Catholic school my entire life. You got to diversify a little bit. Okay, how many do you still hang out with?

Well, they're busy. I think you got to diversify, like a portfolio. You got to diversify, you know. Well, I didn't do it intentionally. I saw them and I picked them out because they hate when you do that. As a white guy, you can't really pick out certain races these days. But that's only going to last another three months. No, I'm kidding.

No, dude. There's my boy. I love those guys. I don't get to see them as much, but, you know, they live in North Jersey. I'm in South Jersey. That's 45 minutes. That's what it is, yep. Too far.

Yep. I hear you. I hear you. You drove an hour to get here. But, hey, we're just, I'm just looking at semantics now. Yeah, dude. Well, what about you? Who'd you run with, dude?

I ran with the, when I played college ball, obviously I ran with all the athletes. Sure. So explain that real quick to the pod. You played a year D3 and then transferred? To Temple to just go live my life and enjoy college. Okay. Yeah. So I played a year of D3 ball, ran with the athletes.

I was a school of like 3,000 people and like, I think 45% of of the people were athletes and stuff so it was like easy to run in those circles and then at temple i just ran with people basically from high school yeah because it was 45 minutes from where i grew up at temple and it's just like all my buddies from public school from cal school guys have been playing with for since i was like nine years old like t-ball yeah uh you don't play t-ball at nine but uh nine nine years old baseball and stuff um the crusher dreams they the crusher dreams. They all just went to Temple, and it was fun. People just transferred in like I did. Oh, nice. All right, that makes sense.

You always come back. We're like flies to shit. Yes. Yeah, I can totally see it. I mean, that's a tough way to describe. Hopefully the donors aren't listening, the Temple University donors. I'll tell you this, dude. My girlfriend yesterday, we were talking about you.

Her and I were commiserating about you and your face. Commiserating doesn't sound good. And you and I, I feel like we're pretty good friends now. You know? Before we started the pod, Kyle and I were buddies. Is that what you guys were commiserating about, that we're good friends? No, we were just, she was like, where's Kyle from? I'm like, I don't know, actually. Where are you from? Lansdale,

Pennsylvania. I knew it was somewhere in the middle of PA. Alright, I was close. Are you just trying to finagle an invite to the wedding? Oh, I'm going to the wedding. No. Yeah, don't worry about that. Yeah. Are you just trying to finagle an invite to the wedding? Oh, I'm going to the wedding. No. Yeah, don't worry about that. I'll be there.

No, you're not going to the wedding. Me and Vito are going, dude. Vito's my plus one. I'm already overextended on the wedding. I'm hoping for a lot of no's. Well, then I'll take a couple of yeses. Don't worry about me, dude. If you guys are at the wedding,

it's because we got a severe case of a lot of no's. You think I'm worried about that, dude? I'm just saying. I was born to be a sub. You're not coming to the wedding. I'm a sixth man. All right. Tell me I'm worried about that, dude? I'm just saying. I was born to be a sub. You're not coming to the wedding. I'm a sixth man. All right. Tell me I'm the sixth man

at the wedding. I would say you're the 11th, 12th guy on the bench signing a veteran minimum. Might be on a 10-day contract, but maybe we get him into a two-way contract.

You're Trevary Smith right now. I can live with that. Yeah. I can absolutely live with that. I think that's me. Yeah, that's pretty fair. And, you know, our listeners, if you disagree with Kyle's logic, please let us know in the comments. You can play yourself into KJ Martin, though.

Dude, if we get like 40 comments like, invite Matt to the wedding, and then you have to invite my dumb ass, that'd be so funny. That's actually true. My other work, Crossing Broad, they're shocked that they're not getting invited to the wedding. I'm very picky picky about you should be i think like i wanted to go i don't even like destination weddings but i wanted to go to a wedding that wasn't in pennsylvania so that we could invite like 60 people yeah and i didn't have to worry about it not that i'm you know the 200 plus that are coming aren't you know i don't love 200 plus never mind i'm sorry i don't want to 160 yeah but how is wedding planning going to easy i did i did a hack where you do two years to plan it and everyone else just rushes.

Everyone else does a year and stuff to rush. Then you get like, you know, you're calling your flowers, you're getting your you're getting your guests in order, you're getting the venue in order, you're doing all this bullshit and stuff. Two years, what it used to be before the pandemic, because everyone was like because you had to get in with the pandemic and stuff kind of fucked up everything because it was canceling weddings. So people were getting pushed back and then people were also getting

engaged during the pandemic so that so there was like no venue venue options and stuff so we were kind of just like we're not really in a rush let's just let's just do two years i know like when it probably hits like the six month mark it's gonna suck because i'm not really a dot your eyes cross your t's kind of guy sure, but she's a she's an event planner She's a marketing planner. Oh, so she's she's got it all under control Yeah, she seems like she's kind of the brains of the operation with all Dude no respect you need to give me no never 100% you don't have to give me any respect I'll put my hand on your thigh and call you a whore then how about that?

Yeah, we just did engagement photos. I know I was funny funny you bring it the photos but they were very beautiful and lovely you have to say that uh no i don't yes you do i didn't even see them gab told me about them i don't have to say that uh but uh i do pity the person that's gonna be like uh you know filming and taking photos of your wedding because you'll be like over go here and then get us from here what are you talking about get up the tree dude dude. No, dude. That's not me, dude. No, dude. You're a peaceful tyrant. You're like a big Kim Jong-un.

Nah, dude. I'm not Kim. I'm not Kimmy. I'm trying to think. Who's a peaceful... Fuck. Who's a peaceful tyrant? I don't know. The dude from Russia in the 90s? What was his name? Oh, the guy who... Gor was his name? Oh, dude. Oh, the guy, Gorbachev?

Gorbachev. Bring that wall down. Yeah. You bring the wall down, dude. Wow. It's going to be my wedding because my fiance is not a, she's not a, she doesn't like the bright lights. Oh, really? Yeah.

She quells when the bright, I don't even know if I use that word right. That's a good idea. That's a nice kind of ebb and flow? Yeah. She quells when the bright light... I don't even know if I used that word right. That's a good idea. That's a nice kind of ebb and flow. She doesn't want it, and you and I, unfortunately, need it. I'm actually going to be the one walking down the aisle. Just you? Yeah. With her father.

He's my daddy, too. He's my daddy, too. And one thing we also want to talk about is our boys at Thrive. If you don't know about Thrive, Thrive Flower sells real cannabis products outside of the medical system. They have nine strains of flour, six strains of pre-rolled joints, four strains of vapes, gummies, and lemonades. They are the first and only company offering same-day cannabis delivery within Philly. Order your cannabis at ThriveFlower.com, and it will be delivered in about an hour. Use code MENATWORK15 for 15% off orders.

Simply choose same-day delivery during checkout. This applies for Philly residents only. Were you affected by the whole Microsoft IT outage yesterday? No, the Microsoft thing. God, I wasn't working that day, but they shut down all the major stuff and none of the stuff I need, dude. Shut down Microsoft Teams.

Dude, I love it, dude. The government's like, I gotta fucking work today, dude. What is going on? You're full of bologna and cheese, dude. Look, I had worked my long week. Within four days, they said, we're good with you. Don't worry about coming in.

And then Friday, Microsoft shuts down. Planes are down. Yeah. But not Microsoft Teams. Is this good or bad? So obviously, United, Delta, and American, the three big guys, they were all shut down because of the outage. Southwest was flying because their technology is so out of date.

I don't know if I like that or don't like that. How out of date can Microsoft's been around forever? They're on like Microsoft 3.1. And I think this was like another, I think there's like three updates ahead. That's what I read. I read the only reason why Southwest wasn't down is their their technology was so behind date that they didn't update anything i think i hate to say i think it makes me feel better i think technology we've reached the apex years ago and now we're on like a steady decline oh that's the more things become

user-friendly it's got to become system worse that's how i look at it what about like ai and stuff you can't say we're on the apex when we got like robots that are going to be like in love with, we're going to be in love with robots in like 10 years. But everybody's so worried

about AI. I'll kick any AI's ass at any point, dude. I'll embarrass them. Right now? Yeah, because they can't do jokes. They can't do roasts. They can't do ball busting.

Don't remember that. Yeah. I know. AI, if you're listening, dude, I'm not scared of you anymore. Yeah. I've moved on. How you doing?

What's up, dude? Dude, he recruited you, huh? Yeah. Yeah? Why not? What interested you? you doing? What's up, dude? He recruited you, huh? Yeah. Yeah? Why not? What interested you? A couple of handsome guys with a couple of mics? Nah.

Definitely not that, no. No, no, no. You guys are... Definitely saw you on TikTok. Oh. So you're trying to get famous. After one of the Sixers games, it was brutal. Yeah, it was probably game six.

It was terrible. Yeah. It was definitely game six. Yeah, that sucked. Are you a Sixers fan, I'm guessing? I'm an everything Philly fan. Yeah, so you're the ultimate Frisbee cup. I guess you're like Philly Six for Six, right? Yep.

You got the Birds, you got the Phils, you got the Sixers, you got the Union. Of course. You got the Flyers, and now you got the Hotbirds. Yep. So you're not really a Philly guy if you're not Philly Six for Six. I like that. Yeah. I like that. What's your name? Jarrell.

Jarrell. And what do you do for a living? I'm a student right now. Student? Where are you studying? Studying management. Where at? Nova.

Oh, no. Yeah. Zancy, man. You two got to battle it out here. Oh, no. I'm a temple guy. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

How's Nova nowadays? I don't know. I'm like in a weird niche. I'm like a student vet. So I'm not really like in touch with the uh the younger crowd or in my like little corner just doing what i gotta do to survive well thank you for your service first of all thanks what brand thank you uh air force air force okay yeah it was a good time so how old are you 33 oh fuck, I'm an OG. Yeah. What year are you in college? I'm a sophomore.

22. Damn. Yeah. So, like, you don't live on campus, right? No, fuck. Yeah. Hello, fellow kids. Do you like being the old guy in the school?

It's got, like, some perks to it. Like, I don't know. It is weird. Like, I try not to be, like like the old man that yells at the crowd you come with like your preconceived notions uh talking about sports we got like a lot of delegates from like uh northeast and shit so like we got some celtics fans some shit like that and always like bust their balls yeah for the most part you know it is what it is it's like hey you know you gotta take it with a grain of salt you learn something they learn from you it's all good because you can't

really talk to them like hey remember 9-11 it's like absolutely not because i wasn't there it's also a weird way to start any conversation like i'm gonna stop you real quick you remember 9-11 anybody you love dying there do you miss them well i'll tell you this dude speaking of nova can you tell your friends to stop playing for the next dude i dude? I'm sick of this shit. It's getting out of hand. It is just a very hard conflict of interest. I'll never root for the Knicks. Sure. I'll never root for the Knicks. It's just no matter how successful they are

and they're taking team deals and they're buddy-buddy and all that shit. It's sickening. Despicable. It's just not for me. It's Philly or everything, especially in my generation. You grew up watching AI and you watch AI struggle. nah it's just not for me it's it's philly or everything especially in my generation you grew

up watching ai and like you watch ai struggle like i remember the like the first sixers game i went to it was sixers versus houston rockets yeah okay and they had yaoming and t-mac and even though ai puts up a good fight no one in the post is there to stop Yao Ming. So Yao Ming would go off. And you're like, this guy needs help. And it was like that. It was like, he needs help for my entire life. Yeah, Todd McCullough's not going to do it for you.

Yao versus Todd McCullough isn't the easiest battle there. A young Sammy Dallenberg trying his best. Yeah, dude. Yeah, we tried really hard. So you're business administration, am I right? Business management? Business management. Yeah, okay. What do you want really hard. So you're business administration, am I right? Business management? Business management. Yeah, okay.

What do you want to do with it? No fucking idea. That's awesome, man. It doesn't matter what age you go to college. You never know what you want to do in college. It makes you feel a lot better, dude. No idea. Yeah, dude.

Just going with the flow, hoping somebody sees me and go, oh, that guy's good for business. What are you good at? I'm like an odd job kind of guy. Like even in the military you just get told to do stuff and you just do it so what are you so good at what odd jobs i don't know i'm kind of personable i probably wind up in hr no i can see myself like doing all this stuff and working all hard and then like just wind up in h. You just love piss tests? Oh, God, no.

You just love rules? No. And regulation? No. Brother, I think you got to find another job than HR. It just turns out that. It just turns into that. It just turns in.

No matter where you go, there's going to be rules and regulations. I'm not a huge HR person. I'm not saying you got to like them. They suck. They're kind of dorks. It's like legal. Legal's the worst, but I actually respect legal because they keep you out of being sued and stuff. HR is there just to tell you why you can't do something because it's in this handbook that nobody's ever read. Yeah, but HR does get together to organize parties where you can drink after work.

That is pretty sick. They do do happy hours. When I'm getting severely underpaid, but they brought out pizza and Coca-Cola today on Fridays because it's Pizza Fridays. Dude, if they bring out pizza and Coca-Cola, unfortunately, I'm going to be the first in line. I hate to break it to you, dude. Yeah. That's the worst thing about HR. It's like, all right, well, mood is declining.

Yeah. Performance is declining. True. We could pay them or we could get Papa John's and not even have enough for the whole floor. You're a better man than me. I'd be like, hell yeah, that fixes everything. My morale is boosted tenfold. Thank you guys. Yeah. But in reality, like HR doesn't even really pay for the pizza, nor do they control your wages. So it's like you, they're just the

face that you hate. They're not even the real, they're not even the real problem. That's a nice way to put it. It's just the face you hate. You're looking at them and they're the mask over top. And you're like, oh man, these guys suck. And they're looking at you like, I got to tell him all the shit from the top that I don't even want to tell him. So, like, you're both coming to it like really shitty. So they're like, they put their smile on it. Like, oh, yeah, here's pizza. We love you guys. And they know that, like, somebody in leadership was like, this dude's a bitch.

It's kind of funny you say all this. If we chopped that out without context and just said you were talking about the election it would be the same thing these dudes a bitch they put a nice face on nobody knows what the hell's going on there yeah yeah so what'd you do in the military uh ironically i came in as a cook shit yeah came in as a cook because i uh coming out of philly didn't have a driver's license. So, like, every job that I could have did, they're like, yeah, you can't do that shit. You don't got no driver's license. Fuck it.

So, I just joined, became a cook. Did you have to go through boot camp to be a cook? Yeah, you have to go through boot camp to do everything. What's that look like? Yeah, dude, what, you're just, like, chopping up parsley and shit? Super camp. Sorry. Not really. Like, your tech school for cooks is weird because in the Air Force, they give you a couple of odd jobs.

So they'll give you, like, cook stuff, fitness stuff, mortuary stuff. And it used to be, like, lodging stuff when I got in. So, like, you would basically be a supplement to, like, any industry that had civilians. So, like, if your civilians were, like, out out or something happened they'd be like well that guy can just do a little booster training and then just take his spot and you would be like a fill-in oh so you would you would do boot you would fill in boot camp no like boot camp is just plain for everybody okay okay then you're training after you would do like training in like fitness or so if like one of the guys were like

injured or something they couldn't come to like the training they were just like yeah get one of the cooks out of the kitchen and he'll fill in sometimes yeah sometimes why can't they just go with like lower numbers you're already going with lower numbers if you look at the trends of them yeah but i'm saying like like why like say they needed like 15 people to like run a drill why can't they just have 14 people run the drills? Is it because, like, they're carrying logs and shit? Or, like, what's the training like? So if there is a situation in the military, from my experience, where there is, let's say you have an arbitrary training, right?

So let's say you have an arbitrary training. This training says, yo, you need 15 people it doesn't tell you like oh you know you could get by with 12 and even when it does say you can get by with 12 it makes it like specifically no like emergency situation somebody's in shot we're in a hostile situation we got to hurry up and get it done cook yeah but most of the time it's like no like you need 15 people like so it's like oh you know you're a cook but now you're a cop for a day because we don't have enough cops to do this or we got our good cops on this real problem and you're like in the like you know

officer doofy reporting like do they ever bring guys out of the training to go cook be like yo listen the scallops aren't being seared as good right now. We need another guy for mess. Legit. Seared scallops. Legit. I've only seen that like two or three times. And it was basically people in trouble or like out the door.

Okay. And then even then, like, we had to stop doing it because it was like it's a psychological uh conundrum where you go yo your job your day-to-day job is a punishment for someone else shit how the fuck and that's your day-to-day yeah yeah i guess you got really because i'm wondering this like so you're going from cooking to going to villanova to going into h. Are you worried that you might be a lady? Are you? OK, I'm sorry. I was I was sitting on that one for a while. I wonder we lost. Oh, my God. First off, it's around. It's 2024. You're a double a man than me. Yeah. And until Trump takes office, I can be a lady if I fucking want to. Yeah. Their gender norms are not as what they used to be. OK, dude. Yeah. I'm voting for the bastard, but it is what it is. I'm wearing

Birkenstocks without socks right now. I got no leg to stand on. Yeah, I'm not voting for the bastard, but it is what it is. I'm wearing Birkenstocks without socks right now. I got no leg to stand on. Yeah, I just, that was sitting in my head the entire time. I'm sorry. Thank you for your service again. Of course.

Did you, did you choose cooking or did they choose it for you? They chose it for me. I went in open. Damn. Like open contract. Don't mean to be,

don't mean to be making fun of you, but like, were you a shitty performer in bootcamp? I don't mean to be piling on. Yeah, kind of. Okay, so they were like, that guy should be in the mess hall. Yeah, kind of.

All right. Didn't help. Yeah. Didn't help. Didn't help at all, man. I love that. Well, I mean, hey, do you cook anymore? Did you learn anything?

Or is it kind of just throwing bologna sandwiches together? No, so I was only really, I feel like like i was only really cooking so i was in for like 10 years yeah only really cooking for like four or five got it but i learned a lot like it does teach you like the basics of running a business some logistical stuff too because like it's the one of the few career fields where you work with a lot of civilians like you're like oh man why isn't this shipment on time or oh man we got to repair this like equipment or blah blah you work with so many contractors and different people outside of the military just to come back to the military and them to shit on you until you don't do anything

jeez do you watch the bear a little bit what do you think how's that compared to the mess hall um yes chef no chef it's it's really good actually the bear the bear is really good a little a little creepy i haven't watched all of it i do remember him doing like a side deal to get some meat out of like a cooler or some shit i was like yo that's gross like no no but nothing does it does it uh have any parallels to uh to the mess hall yeah yeah there's some gallo no sir yes sir instead of yes chef no chef nah nobody's that uptight unless you're like working at the white house or something and even then those motherfuckers probably have some stories that are not yeah yeah yeah i think um i think everybody just likes the idea of like oh i got two hours to cook for

like 300 people and we got to get it done and there's always going to be like something that doesn't work someone who doesn't want to work someone who wants the credit for everything and someone who can't cook at all yeah okay and then you have to like justify or split your schedule and stuff and then we had like civilian cooks who could cook so then it was like the struggle of like how much do you lean on them so it's like yo like this guy could cook your whole thing in 20 minutes he's been cooking his whole life but this kid that's like new to the branch has to learn so you gotta make him do something or he never learns dishes we had that contracted at least for the air

force jerro yep yeah i'm usually not good with the names hey man um thanks for coming on brother i appreciate it this was great man thank you so much that's fine i really appreciate that thanks no problem how about that dude yeah how about that good for us getting on the we love it on our service men and women on the on the podcast just to hear like so i have no frame of context of what it looks like when you do serve and like the kind of like nitty gritty and the background stuff. So we get the fellas on. But I heard you have to, you're only allowed to, maybe this is just bootcamp or this military

in general, you're only allowed to chew 26 times before you get to swallow or something like that. I thought that was like to lose weight. Is that a real thing? I think that was in the military for like, you know, they're like all about efficiency and stuff. This could be just like Navy people. This could be Army people.

And this could also be a lie. Yeah. And be just like reading something on like social media that I saw. Is that what left, right, left is about? Like left chew, right chew, left lick, right? Oh, maybe. I don't know. But I was told that you could only chew 26 times.

And I grew up with a kid who was like really, really into like the military stuff. Wanted to go to like the Navy or the Army. I forget what it was. He was like, hey, by the way, you know, you're only allowed to chew like 26 times. What? Yeah. Who's keeping track of that? I think you're like drill sergeants or the people who are in charge of you and stuff.

Wow. Good for them. If I'm watching. They have something for everything. Maybe you and I should instill that for the podcast. Just chew 26 times or only say 26 words. We're going to shut the fuck up. That might be, honestly, for me, it might be a good move to get me to quit my yapperonies,

dude. But that's awesome, dude. Shut up. You're not a yapper, dude. What are you talking about? So what are you up to, dude? It's been two and a half days since I've seen you. Unfortunately, I see you more than I see my own goddamn mother.

What do you mean, unfortunately? We crush. I know. I love you, dude. I know, dude. You fucking love me and I love you, alright? That's why this works. That's what we do, dude. We record it on... It works. We record it on Wednesday. We're back here on a Saturday. We want to get episodes out for the dogs, dude. Yeah, dude. They are the best. Are you... So... We love you.

We love you more than... I love you more than a lot of my family members, honestly. You guys keep... I don't have many family members, so I'm not going to say I love you more than all of them. Okay. A lot of them. A little bit. Some percentage, not bad. You can't love every family member. Are you ready for us? Cool. Yeah, we can...

Alright. Listen, we're going to the tomato pie contest. I don't feel like you're taking this seriously are you out of your mind i feel like you're not taking this seriously right now look you're in jeans you're in a shirt you're dressed like a lesbian gym teacher you think you're more prepared than i am dude because i take this very seriously like i didn't have a lot of wins growing up athletically um physically uh the pagans aren't known for like you know like winning like you know we're not successful a lot of times okay so like but we're really good

at marrying people richer than us Kyle you and I are doing a podcast outside neither of us are used to winning dude no I understand but this is I'm talking about me right now so it's like when I know that I am ready for something when I know I'm ready when I know I can win something,

I go full bore. And that's why I'm in my favorite Paisan Big Dom from the Eagle Security. The boy, shout out, of course. Yeah, dude. That's why I'm wearing his shirt and I'm wearing shorts. You look like you could go out to dinner.

I'm wearing a Wawa t-shirt, dude. Yeah, but the jeans look like you could go out to dinner right now. Is this what you people in PA think a dinner outfit is? She's like, it's business casual. Like, I'll wear Wawa. That's a business.

I'm just saying. You could be getting some tomato sauce on your pants. And I don't think, I think that would actually ruin you if you got some tomato sauce on those pants. On my Dickies carpenter pants, dude? That I thrifted? That are constantly in your closet, in your fashion. Dude, I've been in the closet for years.

You think I'm going to be worried about these pants? We got to go do the tomato pie contest. And I got to go win. Well, I'm going to blow them out of the water. For real? Check back in when we come back. Through the power of editing, you're going to see a champion and you're going to see a 6'5". Lose it.

Hey, everybody. If you want to see the tomato pie contest, head over to our YouTube channel, Men at Work Podcast, where we put the full video there. All right, we're back. And if you think you just look to see who's wearing what, you know who won. I am your king. I dominated you. You all saw it. I don't even know if we need to recap, do we?

Of course we do. Okay. I have tons of thoughts. Also, Farnasus is here as well. This is my buddy Farnasus. He's from the Northeast. Soaring Highs, Crushing Lows podcast. Check it out.

Just crossed a thousand listens I heard last episode. Yeah, we're doing pretty well. Yeah, dude. Self-deprecation sells. What's your tagline? It only gets worse. Yeah, so if you're one of those people out there that you think it only gets worse, this is your guy right here. Yeah, there's a lot of optimism out there. No, no, no, no.

You just found your next podcast. What do you think? I got my thoughts. For NASA's please, I'd love to hear what you think, dude. So I can settle down for a little bit. Kyle was like dipping his pizza in water And there's some stipulations Whether or not that's legal or not

What stipulations? I don't know the rules Yeah no one knows the rules There aren't any rules But then he did drink the water Which is one of the grossest things I've ever seen in my life And the crowd hated him

The crowd did not like me I turned a little bit of the crowd By the end of it There was one kid rooting for you And he came over and got a picture Well one guy was rooting for you and what happened? One guy gave you actual encouragement and what happened? Encouragement doesn't work for me

You floundered I'm sorry to Gators by the way I was representing them I had the shirt on and everything I'm from the neighborhood that Gators is in And it's really sad Sorry Gators I'll tell you this much dude The one kid that was rooting for you I did overhear him standing off the side.

And he was like, I hate capitalism. I hate the American bald eagle. He was saying stuff like that. So that's your supporter. Enjoy that. I actually did hear that, too. I'll take that. He was talking about, yeah, something about how he wishes we were British.

I don't know. But that's your guy. So have fun with that. Look, the dipping in the water is not illegal. It's not illegal. But a lot of times, socially, it's not what's illegal that gives you a bad look. It's what's frowned upon. And good God above, dude,

I don't know how you sleep. Are you going to sleep tonight? I won't stay up all night. You think Barry Bonds still sleeps at night? What he did was actually illegal. Dude, you're Strawberry Bonds, dude. You're a sweet little guy. That's complete garbage.

I think, look, you won. It was pretty impressive. To be very honest, I saw him start to dip initially, and I was a slice in, and I thought he was a slice in with a dip. And I looked over and saw he was doing two at a once. Do the sandwich. Unfortunately, that's pretty impressive.

I got to give a little bit of credit on that one. The sandwich is what Gatiss told him to do, and he, again, someone gave him words of encouragement, and he floundered. Well, it was nice to get some of the most lukewarm pizza that they could find. Right. It's true. It was good. Again, also, I don't know what the rules are on the show, but I take Adderall. It's prescribed by a doctor, and I did take a few.

Good. You took Adderall before a food eating competition. That's smart. But yeah, so it's better than Ozambic. Wrong drug. Right. It's actually our generation's Quaalude. It's going to be disbanded pretty soon, so you better get them while you can.

And it is the best drug. I will say, I was intrigued by them while you can. And it is the best drugs. I will say, I was intrigued by your process of how you did it. You went with taking one bite and then giving up. What led you to that decision? Basically, I was going to say a life of failure. Because when the going got tough. Right.

Ever since I came out of the womb, it's been careening downhill. Yeah. But I have one question for you guys, though And I Just want to bring it up Like Did I hear you correctly That you went to the Dollar General Where the nut and run happened? We went to the Dollar Tree

Where the nut and run happened Right So I have a kind of take on that The only person That worked out well for Was a guy named The Swiss Cheese Pervert

And this man used to go around Mayfair Ronhurst Northeast And he would put his penis Through Swiss Cheese And he would crank off. And he'd pull up next to people.

Right. But he never hurt anybody. Technically. He looks like Mr. Rogers compared to the Dollar General guy. Yeah. So there was only one person that was like,

you know what, this works out good for me. Everyone else is disturbed. So more information about this guy who would get Swiss cheese and touch his own body to completion?

Is that what you're talking about? What happened was, you can Google it, he would go around and he would put his junk through the Swiss cheese and it was kind of a rush for him. But he was in his own car.

Some people get off on tomato pie, some people get off on Swiss cheese. Some people can't do anything. Netflix has great documentaries. We need one on the nut and rung guy. And listen, the woman that happens to be a victim, I feel horrible. We will raise as much money as we can. We need the documentary. Well, I don't know if we'll raise enough.

There's a lot of questions behind it. And again, we're not undermining what happened to that poor woman. Right, right, right. But there are some logistical questions. Huge hog. First of all. He had to have a huge hog. Fat piece. Secondarily. Huge hog. First of all. He had to have a huge hog. Fat piece.

Secondarily. Huge hog. How far. Steph Curry pulling up from deep. Yeah. Perry Wood painting the black. Yeah. The trajectory.

I was like, whoa. It's got to be. He must have surprised himself. That day he was like, no way. No way. You think about the fact that maybe he was unintentional. He could have been at the refrigerated section, pulls out a Snapple, sees a Snapple fact,

doesn't like it, tries to get it on that. Things go awry. You can't really be certain about these things. And luckily, I've handled it so delicately, I'm not going to worry about this being on the internet. I want to tell someone about it. Someone pointed out to me when I was a kid, the FedEx truck, in between the E and the X,

there's an arrow. And once you notice that, you will never see a fedex truck without seeing the arrow again true i can't look at the dollar general the same way dollar tree dollar tree was that what it was okay how much you stopped money and smutting up the uh i would like to apologize the dollar general yeah i mean it's uh what are you gonna do with your throne kyle and now you won the championship? Is there a parade on Broad Street? God, we need a parade on Broad Street, but there might be a parade out of Newman University is really all I can think about. I think I'm throwing this in the trash as soon as I get off this podcast.

I'll take it off your hands. Okay. I need them. Meet my girlfriend, Roleplay. Oh. I pretend to be somebody who just won a piece of eating content. And she's a spectator in the audience. You guys might call me Sir Kyle for the rest of the podcast.

He pretends to be King Charles. She's Camilla. I'm Diana with all the red on my face. No, I mean, I thought it was fun. I had a good time. I honestly impressed myself. And at no point was I competing with any of you guys. I was just doing it for my own kind of to see where I'm at pizza-wise.

You know? And Kyle has lacked to do this. I'm going to give it. Oh, what a catch. I'm going to give a shout out here to, you know, listen, guys, you're in the area of Philadelphia, Phoenix. Listen, bring the kids. Okay.

They have archery over there. They have a slip and slide and they have alcohol. It's pretty good. I mean, the kids can have fun. You can get drunk. What's better? Not a bad combo. Nothing better.

Well, it's very dog friendly, too. So this podcast, we usually ask people what they do for a living. I know you have a very interesting resume, very interesting job history. Right now, I'm actually the CEO of two companies. Oh, go ahead. Right. One's Frank's Miscellaneous Services. Okay.

What do you do? And that's if you have a job that nobody wants to do, I'll come do it. For instance, cleaning out an attic, cleaning out the basement. The other one's Frank's Mobile Detailing. I'm the only CEO in the country that lives with his mother. And sometimes the waffles aren't done right. And I got to tell her, listen, I'm a CEO. It's true.

There's a lot of Americans out there that are living at home, by the way. Yeah. I mean, listen, I know you guys have made it out, but I'll tell you what, though. It's getting tough because my parents are getting up there and it's like they don't understand my playboy lifestyle. Is the mortgage paid off? I think so. They seem to be pretty good. Yeah.

You'll be fine then. Yeah, it's great. Swearing high is a question of course. It only gets worse. Yeah. Just move the be pretty good. Yeah, you'll be fine then. Yeah, it's great. Swearing high is a question of course. It only gets worse. Yeah. Just move the deed over to your name. You'll be fine. I got to wait it out though.

Oh, okay. So you're the CEO of two companies you're saying? Correct. So you run them from the rents house? Is that? Yes. And my mother is the actually, she's the manager of the warehouse. She takes care of the laundry for the detailing.

Okay. Right. So he is like multiple jobs. I assign them jobs. I assign them jobs. Okay. You also are a bartender? Yes. And Kyle came to the bar

that I work at last night. What were your thoughts? It's a dive bar. It's a bar. But it was... It's like Cheers. If Cheers was... A little pilled out, I guess.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how to explain it either. Like a prescription running through? Yeah. You'll hear things that go on there. You're just like, what the hell? Yeah. And I have a rule last night.

I discovered this. If you went to like a Catholic high school or public league, and it's 10 years after you graduate, you can no longer talk about your high school days. Yeah. It's over. I hate guys that are 17 years out of high school. Back in 2003, I was a second team.

Nobody gives a fuck. Nobody gives a fuck. Look at us. We're in a bar drinking together. It's over. I mean, I could be out here playing Frisbee, but I'm talking to you guys. So bartending versus being a CEO,

which one's more lucrative? Where should our listeners follow the path? What pays better? Bartending. And then you've also been a referee. Yeah, so I'll tell this referee story real quick. And there's three referees out here, and they're doing a fantastic

job. Tight game. One time I was reffing a game, let's just call them the red and blue team, but my mom was the coach of the blue team. That sounds like a conflict of interest. I find it was Fox Chase versus Ron Hurst. Shout out Fox Chase. Why would the league set that up, knowing that you're her son? Refing. I guess that's a good point, but it was 10-year-old girls basketball,

and it was the championship game, and it was 8-7. Jesus Christ. At the end of 48 minutes, which is a long time. 48 minutes for a 10-year-old girls game? Whatever it is, 40 minutes. It's at least 40. 10-minute quarters? Yeah. For 10-year-olds? Right, but it a long time. 48 minutes for a 10-year-old girl's game? Whatever it is, 40 minutes. It's at least 40. 10-minute quarters? For 10-year-olds?

That's overly long. But then Fox Chase gets the ball. There's only five seconds left. The girl turns her back. Fox Chase is down right now. They're down by one. She heaves it. Overhead? Yes, at half-court. Sails through the air like a fucking slow motion

thing. Hits the rim. Boom. Hits the wire. Drops in. They start celebrating. Okay. Here's me on the baseline. It's the trail guy's call. He didn't call it. The wire is going to... I go, no basket. Yeah. So now everyone's going crazy. We got something

going on out here. Let's see what happens here. They're just reacting to your story. So it hits a wire, which is basketball protocol. So I call it out, but it's the trail guy's call. Now here's what happens. Now it's pandemonium. All the parents are chasing me. It's chaos.

They're trying to kill me. 10-year-old girls champion. Yes. And then my mom got involved because she was the coach of the team that won. Yeah. Not a conflict of interest, by the way. Shut up. I'm not Tim Donahue.

Look, dude, whatever you got to say. Right. Okay. Is that what your bookie told you to say? Yeah. You're on the take. My mom was like, Franny, stop. Franny, stop.

I said, Mom, stay out of it. The coach goes, Mom, that's his mom? Oh, it was chaos. Any fisticuffs? Any physical violence or anything? No no but i did get tackled one time and beat up and then last year i tried to fight a high school senior it was a cyo basketball first of all if you're playing cyo basketball and you're in 12th grade yeah you you've made a wrong turn are you still refereeing i don't know after this incident okay well the kick came up to me he's like you're the worst referee ever i said well let me ask you something if i'm reffing this game at a church league on the kid came up to me. He's like, you're the worst referee ever. I said, well, let me ask you something.

If I'm reffing this game at a church league on a Sunday at 4 p.m. and you're playing in this league, don't we both kind of suck? True. It's a fair point. It is like you are kind of impervious where like if they try to get your name, they're like, that was awful. What's your name? I'm going to somebody.

You're like, Frenasus. And they're like, what the fuck did you just call me, dude? Yeah. When I went to the DMV and they were like, I got my license, I was 17. They're like, hey, your birth certificate, your name's spelled wrong. I was like, it is?

So you never knew that? Nobody knew. And then we went home and checked the social security and that's wrong too. So you have to, you have to legally go by for NASA if you're putting

your thing on documents. Yeah, I'm the only one in the world. That's pretty sick. Yeah, it's pretty nice. It's better than being like the 10th child. It goes well when I'm talking to women, I'll be like,

you know, I'm the only person in the world with this name. They're like, oh, that's so hot. Yeah, they're like, can you go referee the game? We're here watching our kids. So what happened with the CYO thing? You got in a fight with a senior or what is this? Yeah, I was referencing, I can't even say names, but it was a Sunday night. I had been drinking the night before and I just wasn't, I wasn't in the mood for it.

And he kept telling me, I stink, I stink, I stink. I said, well, you kind of stink too. True, that's a fair point. You know, I was like, you know I stink. I said, well, you kind of stink, too. True. That's a fair point. You know, I was like, you know, we're both sitting here at a church, like, on a Sunday night. Yeah. We both made a wrong turn at some point. But I could have been Tim Donahue reffing in the NBA.

Was that the initial goal? You thought you could mine it? Sorry. Well, have you ever bet on these games? I have never bet on a youth basketball game. That's, no. How about a high school CYO game? You were, like, with a buddy, like, hey, I'll give you four and a half or something like that.

No. Okay. That's believable. Well, sometimes when we're at a restaurant, we'll make it bet $10. Like the over-under is going to be 13 and a half. So I feel like over-under would be better. Right. Well, no, because then it's like I got got the over 13 and a half and it's uh

six six girl goes to the lane no one touches her and one and then the other refs going what the fuck i'm like you made the bet not the worst move did i used to i used to referee at a ymca i did it for like two years it's the worst job of all time i don't know how you've done it this long i uh well when you when you it this long. Well, when you got to fund your company and you have no money coming in, but a lot of money going out, you do whatever you can to make more of that money. I think that's totally reasonable.

You should have been serving drinks at halftime as a bartender, too. Yeah, I usually bring a few beers in the car. Okay, well, you didn't have to admit that, but I hear you. I will say this, though. The woman that's the biggest problem, the parents, is usually a woman that's obese okay and she has a 24 ounce dunkin donuts cup yeah and she's got her sweatpants on and she's got it you know her vest on and she thinks she knows everything she's going three seconds three seconds i'm like listen stop it's eight

year old basketball that rule was invented for Will Chamberlain The big dipper Yeah Your daughter is three foot two She's a bit of a big dipper herself I imagine She can stay in the lane All she wants I like when parents go Still in there

Three Still in there Four I go Five Six Like you're not gonna call She'll get back to him

Yeah Oh fuck And I walked through Once I was really getting it Last year I walked over I said guys Just want you to know

My life is like really in shambles I live with my parents Like things are going horrible or wrong. Whatever you say to me, it's not going to hurt me. Like, I'm like, you can say you're the worst ref ever. I'm like, did I get bigger problems than that? That's actually the nicest thing I've ever heard. And that has to like reset them.

They're like, all right, fine. Cool. No, it's fine. Are they usually cool about it? I mean, they're just like, you okay? I'm like, oh, not really. I don't need you. I got some twisted teeth in the car. Let's go cool about it? I mean, they're just like, are you okay? I'm like, not really. I don't need you. I got some twisted teeth in the car.

Let's go talk about it. Tactical foul. She made me tear up. Somebody has to pay my pass. But I might start reffing this game, Frisbee. Yeah, they probably played pretty well, you got to think. Yeah. I reffed a lacrosse game one time with no recollection of the rules.

No one told me the rules. They needed referees. So in lacrosse, when the ball goes out of bounds, it's not who threw it out of bounds. It's whoever gets closest to it. Yes. So it's a race for it. And I had no idea that was a rule. And the coach was like, dude, do you even know anything?

I was like. I answered an ad. I answered an ad on Craigslist. Yeah. Throw him out. But if you're a referee out there, listen, lacrosse is where the money's at. What? 95 a game.

Come on. What's your worst job? The worst job I had was a Philadelphia school district substitute teacher. Oh, fuck. I got tortured. Like inner city? Yeah. I walked in with my khakis and my sweater.

They're like, hey, it was Mr. Rogers. And then when I wrote my name on the blackboard, Mr. Hennessy, that caused quite a frenzy. Sure, sure. You can't write Hennessy on a blackboard i don't i mean can i even tell the story like what if it sucks we can just cut it yeah well what happened was i was pumping gas one day and these kids tortured me all day and i was pumping gas and these four eighth graders showed up like hey yo hennessy you bum ass motherfucker look at that you're driving a droop it which was funny on their part they called it a droop ass car because

i had a droop roof droop roof starting around because I had a droop roof. Droop roofs aren't around anymore. What's a droop roof? I'm not familiar with that. A droop roof is like when you had an old Honda in the 90s and the ceiling would hang down. Oh. Yeah, a droop roof. On purpose? Oh, like the lining of the thing would become disconnected from the car and it would hang. Right.

It was mostly out of poverty. I had that, yeah. I had an accord like that. I had an accord like that, yes. The kids are like, then they start kicking my car like, this is what you drive? I was like, all right. I'm a substitute teacher that. The kids are like, then they start kicking my car. Like, this is what you drive. I was like, all right, I'm a substitute teacher. What do you think I have,

a coupe de ville? And then I pulled around. That was a non-cardable out of your ass. I pulled around. I said, uh. A coupe de ville? What are you,

a 1950s drug dealer? What do you think, I got a coupe de ville? All right, let me tell you why. What do you think, I got a Honda Pilot? I pulled around. I said, uh.

What do you, what do you, a coupe de ville is crazy? I pulled around, I said, What do you think, Coop DeVille's crazy, dude? That sounds like one of the kids you taught, dude. What do you think, I got a Model T? This is Coop DeVille. Coop DeVille is special. That's awesome, dude. Yeah, so this is what got me fired.

I pulled around, I said, Wait, as you were driving away? Well, I came around the gas thing. I'll see you on the news. To the kids? Yeah. Oh my God, dude. It's the next day that I had to resign.

How old were they? 14. They had tattoos. Yeah, I got to agree with that. They kicked my car. Yeah. And called me a homophobic slur. Sure.

Dude, I mean... I mean, like, what am I gonna do? Fight them? You kinda... How old were you? You kinda just have to pray. You have to pray that all of them... Yeah.

You're a double their age. And then I got another job. I was teaching at another school, and they were like, don't let them touch the computers. Like, that's a really hard task. So they kinda bombarded me, and my foot got caught up.

And I fell. And like 30 laptops fell on me. Like, dude, I was hurt. I was like, ah! And all the kids were like, ah, dickhead! Filling me. Dickhead! So I got up and I said, this is it.

I'm done. I walked out. I went to Harrington's Pub. Shout out to Harrington's. Give me a Blackberry and 30 Miller Lights. Let's pretend this didn't happen. And it's evil school day. give me a blackberry and 30 million alerts let's pretend this didn't happen do you think you could substitute be a substitute teacher in philadelphia chicago new york that's why i went into marketing but the thing is they respect the teachers that are full-time teachers like i had like a five foot two woman come in she was like this puts her hand up yeah all the kids

but she's built completely silent and i'm sitting there like all right this is ridiculous yeah but she's probably cracked some skulls you get made fun of and you just cower into a corner probably i'm just assuming there's a teacher that got fired recently i don't know where it was but she was drinking on the job and i was completely understand that if you're the principal you would never fire i mean one bottle of pinot noir doesn't really seem that crazy to me i do think that's the one thing if we can't pay teachers more let them drink a goddamn bottle of Pinot Grigio on the job why not the stuff I hear about

like what you're saying and like my friends who are teachers for God's sake lunchtime it should be a mandatory let them have a glass of wine yeah

it makes no sense for anybody to be a teacher you have to really love what you do and that's insane to me that you would put yourself through that to be

to mold young minds who don't even give a fuck about you yeah no they don't that was pretty dark alright king of

tomato pie eating yeah dude now it's getting to his head man any other places you've worked you got good stories from let's see I've been fired from a lot of jobs I got fired from the Navy Depot

in Northeast Philly yeah well I won't I won't okay go ahead apparently I was stealing company time what I noticed was are we kind of all they gave you they gave you an option to come in at 6.30, leave at 2.30, 7.30, 3.30, 8.30, 4.30, 9.30, 5.30.

So I said I'll come in at 9.30. Now, everyone else in the office was leaving at 2.30. So I live two blocks away. I decided, hey, I'll just leave at 2.30 and go fucking hang out, lift weights, you know, masturbate and come back. What order was that usually in? You would jerk and come back to work? Right, yeah. You can't jerk and come back.

If you're jerking, you got to stay home. Wherever you jerk, you got to be there for at least two hours. No, but I would come back and I would jog back. This is like I was like 25. So you're jerking and jogging? No, I would jog back. So the one day I show up and I get to the Navy Depot. Hold on a second.

Can we go back a little bit? Wait for the underage kids to leave. I live two blocks away from the place. Oh, okay. So that makes more sense. I thought you were like finding like a wah-wah, jerking off in there and then jogging. No, I was going home. I was going to take a nap.

This place, is there just off chance, is there a shop right across the street? Yes. Oh, okay. Just, okay. I have no idea how I know that. Right. So then I came back to one day. And I did this for six months.

I would come back and I would log into my computer and send an email. Hey, I'm leaving for the day. I've been gone for three hours. I come back to one day. There's my boss sitting at my desk. I was like, oh, shit. And they got me. And like, you know, we could press charges on you.

I said, listen, I'll just walk away. What do they have to press charges? Oh, stealing company time. It's not a real thing. I think it is actually. Was this a government job? Yeah. Okay, so maybe you'd be like court-martialed.

That'd be hilarious. Yeah, you're like... What were you doing when you weren't here? I was jerking off and jogging. That's your fitness hour, dude. Do you want to get into this? Because we can go on a deep, dark path. It's a great job.

What do you think would be the best job for you? Because you seem like a pretty terrible employee. I don't know. Comedy? You're a comedian. Yeah. Yeah. I've laughed.

I thought these are funny. Yeah, it's just get up there and sell self-deprecating jokes. And we did do a comedy show at the Ron Pub. I recall it was months. It's going pretty well. Ryan Foster, Rob Cruz, just there last week. Rob Cruz is hilarious. Rob Cruz is the man.

He told me that he is so funny. He told me that he was trying to find a way to break the room. And Rob Cruz, shout out, do ragging the deer tag. Those are a lot of buddies of ours. But he told me that he opened a joke on a guy in the audience, and he was like, I guess you're drinking a White Claw because they haven't carbonated cum yet. Dude, he is so funny like he's too good he is the man how they react to that everyone was dying that's awesome the whole room was like awesome in flames how to foster do not well

hopefully yeah you think great he's like he's false as people man it is his people i love ryan yeah the one guy got up there is I forget his name he's like long hair and beard he's like look at this fucking dump talking about the bar he's like

I came all the way from Bridesburg for this Bridesburg's like not any nicer yeah it's like northeast dude Rob Cruz

is funny though he said some like those guys have pushed the limit of common they've said words that I thought were like

you can't say but they say it yeah what like college dude I'm happy to hear that shout out Ron Pub absolutely that I thought were like, you can't say, but they say it. Yeah. What, like college? Dude, no. I'm happy to hear that, too. Shout out Ron Pub.

Absolutely. Yeah, we got to get you, you got to come to the next one, right? October, blow it up. I lived right around Ron Pub for quite a while. It's not great. It's a place for sure.

Is that across from Varee Pizza? Varee Diner. There's a diner? No, Varee Pizza's up a little further. It's probably like... Oh, I'm thinking about it. It's right off of that big highway

that you guys do in PA. What was that called? Roosevelt Boulevard. Roosevelt Boulevard. Oh, God. Shout out. That's unbelievable. What are the two CEO jobs? I'm not an actualist.

It's his own company. You have to be the CEO. I guess you're the president. I was also a juvenile probation officer for seven years. What's up with kids, dude? You got to get away from kids. I was the greatest PO ever because the kid would come to my caseload and I'd be like, hey, I just did the drug test.

It was positive for the highest level of marijuana. There's levels of marijuana? I would go like this. Didn't say it. Come back in a month. I was cool they loved me but I'm not trying to jam a kid up for smoking marijuana I smoke marijuana

I'll tell you what this is a funny story I'm never gonna get this job back I applied again they said no way I was telling this kid I was like you don't think that

I smoke marijuana I was like you need to get a job you need to figure life out and then when you get home from that job smoke as much weed as you want do whatever you want

so now the kid gets locked up and he's in court and the judge is like sentencing them to like glenn mills or a facility and the kid goes uh yeah can i say something uh my po said he smokes weed every day i said come on do i look like I smoke pot every day? This is kind of no snitches get stitches. Well, that's what I felt. I didn't. I felt like going back to the neighborhood. I'm like, yo, don't trust this motherfucker.

This motherfucker's a rat. Because when you're a PL, you got to get in with the neighborhood. Yeah. They knew me in Kensington. Oh, you were in Kensington? Were you the bad guy? I was 19134. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And they recognized my car. They'd be like, oh, yo, it's Hennessy. It's Hennessy. I'm like, oh. And I would ask the guys at the corner, how are sales doing today? What are you going to do? What are we going to do? Stop.

It's true. If you go to the Kenzinger, what are you going to do? You're going to stop that? Yeah. It's, you know, it is what it is. We're trying. Yeah, it would be an insane thing to just walk up and be like, enough. So what did the judge say after the kid said that?

No, he was just, nothing ever happened. Thank God. If I would have peed in that cup, I would have set the thing on fire. And you are more of a kind dude. And then I get a dewey. And I got the job back. After a year, my lawyer beat the case insane.

I have no idea how he beat it. The judge was like, Mr. Hennessey, have your toxicology report here. It's three times the legal limit. Cocaine in your system and marijuana. Is this a typical Saturday night? I said, wasn't that Tuesday? So then I get my job

back and my friends and the work, they're happy to see me. Go, let's go. Let's go to Tiernag. A couple of Jamesons. Great spot. Couple of middle lights. Come back to the office. There's the supervisor. Blow into this. I was like, what? What's going on here? Lit it up.

And I got fired again. I got fired from the same job choice. Imagine having a welcome back party in the morning and a see you later party again. Who has a welcome back party in the morning? I'm an office llama. What a core legend. I'm not disagreeing with that, but like, you think you'd tell at least a little bit of a line.

No, they were like, let's go, France back. So what time are you guys at Tiernanog? Noon. So it was like a liquid lunch. Yeah, three JMOs, four Millers. And did you know that you were going to be I did, but someone else got fired too that day because they're rats, dude.

They're more worried about us having a cold and pops at lunch than like the juveniles are out of control in the city. Well, you've raised a good point. I always wonder this about if you get a DUI and you're over the legal limit, but you do test positive for like cocaine or like Adderall or something, shouldn't you be good to drive? Just be like, look, I'm back. I did a line before I left the bar. I feel completely fine.

Honestly, it should not put you in jail quicker. It should help you out. I feel great. I actually don't. Yeah, you're right. But I drove here today and I'm not driving home. I have a designated driver, which is the responsible thing to do. Sure.

And again, Condor. Shit, I almost said lacrosse. Frisbee game. Frisbee. We have beer we have water slides we got t-shirts yeah

tight ass Kyle's fucking stealing the show dressed like the wizard of oz that's what I do that's what I do you look worse than King Charles no I do not

do you think King Charles has his hairline his jawline true well that's okay but what's this dexterity King Charles has four tomato pies he's dead have you seen his fingers have you seen his fingers This jawline? True. Well, that's okay. What's this dexterity?

King Charles has four tomato pies. He's dead. Have you seen his fingers? You got to be careful talking about any of the royal family talking about pizza. Unlock pizza gate pretty quick. I bring this point up a lot, though. I would love to be a royal. I offered Harry several times. You become a Hennessy.

I become a Windsor. I would be the best royal family member. Count Hennessy. I already have a name for myself. You'd be Hunter Biden of the royal family. First of all, Hunter Biden did nothing wrong. He was living his life. People want to come to him like, Hunter, he was having fun.

You'd be Chet Hanks of the Hanks family. No, I like Hunter Biden because he's like, you can't take my laptop. I can't afford one. I had 30 before him. I actually have a laptop story. I brought my laptop to get fixed. Because that's how I do the podcast. That's what he did. I know. I do the a laptop story. I brought my laptop to get fixed. Because that's how I do the podcast. That's what he did.

I know, I do the podcast on there. But the guy was like, you know, dude, like, you know, it's just, you're watching porn on your computer. Like, just use your phone. Just trying to help you out here. Why is that? Well, because back in the 90s, early 2000s, everyone blamed LimeWire for everyone's family computer crashing.

Well, it wasn't LimeWire. It was the teenage son jerking off to porn. It was LimeWire, too. But, yeah. As a guy who ruined his family computer. Yeah, it was LimeWire. What were you doing, LimeWire? You porn, dude.

I was doing 8th Street Latinas. That is unfathomable. Roundandbrown.com. Mike in Brazil. Mike's apartment. I had them all going. How did you know? How are you like the Encyclopedia Britannica of porn lipsticks?

I'm a sick, sick, twisted puppy. How old were you? I was 12, 13. 12 and you knew you wanted big Latina mommies at that point? That seems like something you kind of grow into. I kind of like grown away from it, but at the time I was like, A Street Latinas is where it was at. And I searched for A Street.

There isn't one. Oh, maybe it's... I mean, I think it's probably around the country. There's not a Latina search. I think that means you have to vote for Biden because he keeps letting the illegals come across and those seem to be your demographic, dude. Well, I actually have a solution for the

border crisis. Please, yeah. I think people listening just probably scooted up in their chairs a little bit. Sure. Yeah. You can have Northeast Philadelphia. Okay. I'll take Cancun. I don't know if that's an even swap. Well, there's a lot of nice

places in South America. They're all coming here to fucking what? This. What's wrong with this? What's wrong with Delco? Oh, is this Delco? Yeah. Okay. Never mind then. Oh, wow. I just like that. It's warmer down there. It's nicer. I just like the, I just like, I mean, it's warmer down there. It's nicer.

You don't think it gets old? Well, I lived in Florida for three years. It does get old. Florida's horrible. People think Florida's great. Get west of 95. Just fuck.

I mean, it's the worst. Sorry, it's the worst place ever. Also, never move away. Never move for a woman. Okay. That's the last advice you can leave us. I have to look around. I like that.

This is the last thing I'll say. Hello, Kyle. Thank you. I appreciate it. Really? Hello, Sophia. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, wow. And what about self-deprecating losers who lose all their money? Yeah. What about a major thing? And you. Oh, wow. And what about self-deprecating losers who lose all their money with their hands? Yeah. What about a major thing? And you were right, sir. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, Sophia. He finished the least pieces. Well, it's pretty deeply hurtful, but I hear you. You got the best pop from Cherry Hill. Thank you.

That was nice Kyle Kyle nice to meet you Thank you Sophia nice to meet you But you were funny And I liked you Thank you I appreciate it

There you go Bye Somebody You know you got a fan Yeah Dude I got a lot of them out there Oh really Oh but

I'm gonna sign out I can't say I was gonna tell my joke about Not moving away for a woman And you can edit this out We'll probably do About half this interview Will be edited out Right a joke about not moving away for a woman. And you can edit this out. We'll probably do about half this interview will be edited out. We're just trying to hit the good parts.

I know. This is actually a good part. And it looks like Philadelphia's going to get the win here. But my grandfather once said to me, he goes, Francis, let me tell you something. A cunt hair can pull a freight train. What? He said a cunt hair can pull a freight train, meaning a woman can pull a freight train. And? He said a conch hair can pull a freight train,

meaning a woman can pull a freight train and you better be careful or else it'll ruin your life. And I moved to Florida for a woman and it ruined my life. Sorry, Pop.

All right, and that's the podcast. Your king is out. His plebe is out. Don't ever say that again. I cannot be. You're a jester. You're trying to say

I'm Matt Plebles? Dance. Yeah, you're Matt Plebles. Yeah, dude. Dance again. I cannot be. You're trying to say I'm Matt Pleebles? Dance. Yeah, you're Matt Pleebles. Yeah, dude. Dance monkey. Okay, careful. I hear you. But yeah, so we're out. Hey, thanks to the Philadelphia Phoenix. Thanks to Gator's Tomato Pie. Thank you to, obviously, our boys at Thrive Flower.

Go get some jet fuel. That is veto approved. And thank you to you, the listener. If you like this and you want some sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet bonus content, we've got a lot for you right now up on the Patreon. So patreon.com slash men at work pod. Feel free to reach out to us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, all that stuff. And email us if you want to come by.

Email us and email us if you want us to come by to your place. Menatpodcast at gmail.com. We will talk to you next episode. Peace. Peace.