Men At Work Podcast - We Interview Philly's Most Famous Tour Guide and Kyle Gets Humiliated

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

Kyle and Matt talk to a TikTok tour guide who knows fun facts all around Philadelphia, a world traveler who claims Philly has the best food in the country, and two students who are raising money to fight pediatric cancer. Kyle also embarrassed himself in a pop-a-shot competition. Donate to Nova Dance to help fight against pediatric cancer: https://www.novadance.org/About Us: The Men At Work Podcast asks one question: What do you do for a living? After that the conversation flows from there. We've talked to substitute teachers, Bangladeshi t-shirt moguls, a real estate broker tight with LeBron James, and the Governor of Literal Pennsylvania. And we'll record anywhere. Random sidewalks during an eclipse, a furry convention, and more! Whether we like it or not, our jobs are most of our lives - might as well yap about it. If you want us to come to your event email us at: [e-mail] APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/men-at-work-podcast/id1373108039 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/4XcFWt0I6gFvMotqDp5bsZ?si=2273debc08e5485d If you want more bonus content check out Office Hours a weekly workplace advice show on Patreon that subscribers submit their questions to and we answer them: https://www.patreon.com/menatworkpod *If you subscribe to the Patreon consider subscribing on a desktop or website or an android device, NOT THROUGH iOS (Apple) APP. Apple takes 30% of every month you're subscribed (yea they suck). Follow Us: The Pod: https://www.tiktok.com/@menatpodcast https://www.instagram.com/menatpod/ Follow Matt: https://www.tiktok.com/@mattpeoplescomedy https://www.instagram.com/mattpeoplescomedy/ Follow Kyle: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kylepagancb/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kylepagancb Follow Vito: https://www.instagram.com/vito_visuals/?hl=en

Welcome back to another episode of Men at Work. I'm Kyle Pagan. As always, joined by Maddie Peoples. If you're a first time listener, welcome to men at work. We ask you what they do for a living. That's all right in a living. We've got people walking all over the place. Sir, what do you do for a living? What do you do for a living? What do you do for a living? What do you do for a work, dude? He's in the peace corps. He's in the peace corps. Thank you for you, too. Peace in you with you, brother. We appreciate that. And also with your spirit. Yeah. God, do you ever get hit by that one in the church? Remember when they changed it up and they just came out of nowhere? That pissed me the hell. Not even the Latin. Well, they changed it up from the Latin. Well, they changed it up from Latin, like 400 years ago.

It's funny to be still reeling off that one. They reversed back to Latin. Are they back in Latin? I think some masses do Latin because they want to show off a little bit. They all do Latin. Dude, imagine bringing your grandparents in there and they're like, Puerto Rican Mass. Yeah, that's not even close.

We're talking about Nana. Well, yeah, because the Mass is like, Catholic Mass is so boring. It is, but when you start to sit and look around, it actually becomes terrifying. So it might not be the most, you can't make it, like, fun and exciting, but you can make it at least intriguing because you are scared. Like, when you look at, like, Gothic buildings, they're not supposed to be nice ornate thing because they're supposed to be like

representative of hell we went through a black plague to get this thing up that's right we went through a very black plague yeah and uh actually the um I won't say that I won't say that my middle school is now a Japanese church so I guess they're going through a bit of a yellow plague themselves right now just kidding just horsing

good to have that in the first two minutes that's a joke who cares but no yeah I remember when they're Japanese church yeah Japanese church I want to go Because I imagine it's going to be like Like all like if you Basically if you took like a like a superhero movie

Yeah And you made an anime That's what I feel like Yeah Like a little yeah Like their mouths are moving differently And then it's like you know Like Bruce Lee Enter the Dragon

That's exactly right Everything they say is followed by an Americanized words Like three seconds later Yes yeah Okay I can fuck with that church It's kind of how I speak Spanish I mean black mass

Is the greatest mass of all time Are there black Catholics No But Christian is the sects right? Sure, but Christian... Clearly just falls under everything, right? Yes, which I've been meaning to talk about this.

I learned a lot about the non-caths lately. Like your Presbyterians? Like a Protestant, for the most part? Which we rule. We've always agreed that they rule. No, I've changed my tune, actually. Oh, fuck. Martin Luther.

Martin, Martin Luther is Lutheranism, which I think is a different thing. Oh, Protestant was protesting. Okay. So I think you probably have seen it. So I read about this because some lady is doing a social experiment. I don't know if we talked about it. There's a lady who's running like a social experiment all over like TikTok and Instagram reels and all the good stuff where apparently she's calling different churches of different denominations. All I think is she's in the Texas area.

I think it's mostly in Texas. And every call that she calls to like some like Pentecostal Protestant, some like just know a baseline Christian, they always answer with like some corporate lady who's like, hi, this is Dana. I'm representative of corporate goodness and benevolence. How can I help you? At least it's not a, at least not an AI robot. Yeah. At least they didn't offshore it. Tax on that, dude.

Give him a little bit of tax. Well, you know the Joe Alstein stuff. Yes, I do. And this is like, so this is kind of representative of like she's calling churches like that. She'll have a crying baby audio playing in the background, which I got over-stimulated because I was listening to a live streamer reacting to it. So it's a live streamer talking while she's talking while there's a baby crying in the background while she's on a phone call with somebody else talking.

And I almost swear my car in oncoming traffic. Yeah, it's too many. It's too many modes of audio. Far too many. But I said, sign me up, you know? And so anyway, so she calls these churches and she gets so many of these people going, sorry, we do not have any baby formula. And she goes, okay, that's no problem. Could I just, is there any way I could come there and like you could buy it for me? I just, I don't have any money.

And like, I really need this. The baby hasn't eaten since last night. And they go, that's just not something we do. And then the one person she called, the guy goes, we do do things like that, but it's only for our members. And she goes, is there any way I could just get one can of baby formula? Just to hold me over. I get paid the end of this week. And the guy goes, I'm really sorry. If you were a member, I could help you otherwise. There's nothing I could do for you. Does she believe the church names? No. good and uh so the two the two sex that she calls she calls a catholic church and it is it's a lady that literally is like hey this is diana what can i do for you she's like hey she explains the whole thing to

her and the girl diane's like i mean we don't have like baby formula in the pantry and she's like i could go get it for you if you want to come here and just like how long it's it's gonna take you to get here in the late is like 10 minutes she's like all right i'll run out and i'll buy it and just can we be here in like 20 minutes let's fucking go to the catholic church yeah catholic church now jesus christ jesus christ and the other people that did it was the the islams were fucking unstoppable. They called and she was like, hey, do you guys have a baby formula? And the guy's like, no. And she goes, okay, I need it for my baby. He's like, I'll leave right now and get it. Can you meet here in 20 minutes? Like, no questions asked. I'm shocked with the amount of kids

they're popping out that they don't have it just stocked up like it's fucking a nuclear winter is going to about to happen. And they're just like, yeah, just go down to the shelter. We've got a bunch of fucking formula down there. The guy who answered was probably worried it was like one of his wives anyway. So I can't say no in case it's her. She's tricking me. And he goes, no, it's worse than a trick. It's a social experiment. But the, so the, the, the, uh, like Protestant, Christian-y, the big, big corporate mega-churches, their beliefs, apparently, are that they are good with God so long as they believe in Jesus. Gotcha.

So all they have to do is be like, don't have to go to church, just have to believe in them? Church is like, yeah, if you want to go hang here, a couple shitty songs, go for it. You don't have to do stuff for people. You don't have to be like an outgoingly good person. Now, I'm sure I'm, you know, simplifying it. But their whole thing is just, if you believe in the J-Man, you're good. Catholicism, we're all like acts of service and self-hatred are the first. fundamental pillars of being a Catholic.

So much Catholic guilt. So much Catholic guilt. Wight guilt mixed with Catholic guilt might be the all-time guilt train. True. Yeah, it's a good point. I never had Catholic guilt. Never? No.

That can't be true. No. I mean, maybe when I was younger when I thought that, like, my parents weren't going to go to heaven because my dad cursed at my mom. Sure. Like, I was like, oh, dad, dude. Swear jar, plus you're going to hell. So you felt guilt for those around you.

For those around me. Yeah. Like, I thought I was, like, more worried about the people around me. That's how self was I had. That's how much of a good. God-fearing Catholic I am. That's one thing, yeah, true. That's pretty funny.

At some point, it's just like, you just got to grow up. Nah, it's... It would be like, wherever I go after this is all over, I go. Sure. Well, that's crazy, dude. You're not. I might be St. Peter. I might be picking up greens of sand for the rest of my life.

Don't be Mr. I'm cool with hell, guy, dude. I'm cool with hell. No, you're not. I'm cool with... Give me the little Nicki representation of hell. I just want to watch Hitler get a pineapple shut up his ass every single day. Yeah, but then you're going to have a pineapple lined up. for you. No. Yeah, 100%. I'll be hanging out. I'll be hanging out with

Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney. Yeah, true RIP to the goat, the big dog. Me, Henry Kissinger, and Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney's going to get down to hell and Hitler's going to be like, no way. You got them to do that? He's like, yeah. He's like, you didn't have to do a big, like, horrific genocide? No. You don't think that the devil's been like, I've been waiting for you, Dick. Pause. Devil has certainly been waiting for Dickie Chains. Did they do the Jews? Did she do the Jews yet? I don't want to speak out of turn. I do believe they did do the Jays,

and I don't think that they hooked them up. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. From my understanding, I mean, I don't want to speak out of turn again about our good friends, but I do not believe they hooked them up. I think it was like the best one of all was, for real, like, the Muslim church was just like, before you even finish your sentence, I swear to God I'll get baby formula right now. I'm going to go milk my wife, and I'm going to get it for you, whatever you need. Choccal milk.

And if she runs out, I got another one. It's true. She's going, no, I'm placing the war. Wow, I know nothing about religion. And I don't think I have any interest in studying it. I mean, I did 12 years of it. I know my religion. Yeah, that's...

And I kind of just power-ranked religion off of like how cool I think your church is during mass. Sure. Because, like, I put in a lot of time back in the day. You know, it was all about... It was all about going to mass, but thinking about the reward on the end after it. So it was like, the reward growing up was like, hey, if I'm going Sunday morning mass, it was like, We're going to Yum Yum Donuts after this. Yeah.

I'm getting a couple glazed. Yep. All right. That's my reward for having to listen to a bunch of old people, just shout about the gospel. Yeah, just sing weird. Sing weird, because you don't appreciate the songs until you get older. And they slap, dude. They do.

They do. Eagles wings will always be an all-timer. How great thou art. Oh, how great thou is a good one. Ave Maria. But you get a bad singer, though, and it just ruins the entire mass, which a lot of, like, these, like, you got to understand. Like, you got to understand, like, singers are a dime. But, like, not all of them are going to be Catholic.

So you're going to get the old lady, you're going to get the old lady, you're going to be like, well, when she dies, what happens? Who takes over? Does she have someone waiting in the wings? Does she have a daughter? Yeah, true. Like a lineage to follow her suit. Oh, that's a good point.

It is kind of like, like, what's a job that you can't, like, like, what's a, what's something that somebody has right now that we're like, oh, fuck, once they die. It's kind of like the neighborhood watch lady, I guess, in a way. Because don't want to do the neighborhood watch, not in today's society. Yeah. And it's like, once the neighborhood watch lady who's in everybody's business dies. Yeah, you kind of hope that her equally lesbian daughter is ready to like take the reins and surveilled the neighborhood with a short hair cut. Yeah, crack some skulls, dude.

Keep these kids in line. No more doorbell ditch. I respect that, dude. Although the Catholic church might have to make like the turn towards like a Gen Z audience. Like throwing some mumble rap, some house music, like Catholic music, dude, that'd be so sick. That's true. Why do we have to... Skro?

Why do the songs have to take a certain song structure, you think? Like, we've been doing this for centuries. Why can't, why has there been no advancement in Catholic song? I think you assume it's God's favorite music. And it would be kind of like, you know when your buddy really likes like an artist or music and you kind of shit on it, they get really upset? Like if you go to God and you're like, it's not really like my kind of sound. I'm more into like a quicker beat kind of thing.

Then he tries to be nice because he's God. He's not going to be like, fuck you. He's going to be like, oh, yeah, whatever you put on whatever you want. I don't care. Like, I'll just listen, like, background music anyway. I don't give a shit. And you change it up on the G, man. He's not going to be pumped.

So, Gen Z Church, huh? Gen Z Church, dude. They got to start getting, like, some mumble wrap. I get some, like, a little scrylla, dude. A little, like, he rose from the dead six, seven days later. I know on the sixth and seventh day he rested. Hmm. Which, isn't that crazy that Sunday defeated God?

She was tired. Like, making an extra day because you're so tired. I don't say punches pilot defeated God, but okay. It's more of us as humans Which is a crazy I mean Chris O'Connor kind of talked about it Punch's pilot defeated Jesus So I apologize

Punch his pilot got And he was bummed about it after It's like dude Was he? Yeah he does a whole thing He's like I should have done that And it's like okay bro Yeah sure

What made you think it was wrong The resurrection? Is that what freaked you out? Yeah 100% If you're if your op comes back He comes back from the day Actually now that I think about it's like Okay bro

A little too late now homie slice That's true Now that he has the power of God and anime on his side You're done bro true if you put six shots in your op and he comes and he gets saved like obviously you're like man i probably shouldn't have done that dude the the meeting the morning over there like punch us you're going to want to sit down for this that's how they used to tell like when they said

like in harry potter when they said Voldemort was back they were all like what he's back he who shall not be named damn punch us dude how do you eat breakfast here in that news oh there's no chance punch his pilot ate until dinner time had to have he just he grazed too i'm just not hungry I'm just not hungry fucking Jesus is back Everything you feel you're like Oh my God He's in control of what I feel and think

Yeah Damn that's gotta be tough dude That's why I never killed anybody What do you think it was like When Pontius went up to St. Peter Just an automatic no Because remember St. Peter denied him three times

True Pete does not have a big land Like they all had to be like Yeah we fucked up too dude It must have been like the saddest group of dudes It's probably there's like a bunch of guys Like the night after drinking Where they're having the time of their life

Being friends with Jesus And then they all fuck him over And he dies And then the next day is the hangover where they're like, oh my God, I said I didn't know who he was. I fucking lied and said I didn't know who he was. I can't believe we gave our friend of the cops. Oh my God, we killed Jesus last night.

Oh my God, we fucking killed Jesus. Jesus took the rap for the DUI. Yes, he did. He 100% did the rap for the DUI for your sins. I will die for your sins. We should have all gone to the clink for Jesus. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, they were all getting pulled over by, you know,

the path. I won't say it, but, you know, They were predominantly Jewish people. Yeah, of course. Right. Better. Yes. That's real qualities to attribute the death of Jesus to Palestinians.

And Jews. Yes, and Jews. Yeah, of course. They got in there. And that's all good, dude. We all make mistakes. Yeah. But, like, he was the guy in the passenger seat.

We're like, right where the cop gets out of the car, he's like, switch seats, switch seats. And then he jumps in your seat. He comes over and he's like, I'm really sorry. Sorry, I shouldn't have got behind the wheel. These guys didn't even want to get in the car and I made them get in with me. I mean, you know, Judas already had two DUIs. number one he was number one more DUI he was going to weekends a hundred percent he's like I can't see my kids if I get one more DUI did you got to hook me up he's gonna do weekends account he's I only

get him on weekends I can't be available and Jesus like all right fine get out he would have to get the the Dewey breathalyzer now would be tough though if you do get a DUI and they're like sorry we have to crucify you like a good modern punishment is like instead of like walking a line they lie you up on a line of like a fucking thing and prop you up that is true like if if like I know the chair doesn't really go down like it used to. I think it's only in like four or five states anymore. And then, like, lethal injections, like, it's legal in a lot of states, but nobody ever does it. Right.

So, like, if we brought back crucifixions, you can't tell me that murder wouldn't go down. A hundred percent. A public crucifixion? Yeah. Like, out front of the Arby's. Like, you had to literally walk down the Ben Franklin Parkway. Yeah. Like, nobody wants to walk a mile with, like, a heavy, I don't know, do we give them a cross?

100% across. You give them a cross? Maybe. What about like a Joe Rogan, like, you know how those runners, they just put like those weighted vests on? Yeah. How much is like an overly weighted vest? Yeah, but then that's just CrossFit. Okay, true.

It's just CrossFit at that point, dude. Who, by the way, they look like Jesus, for Christ sake. They're all jacked. They all have, like, ponytails. That's true. Crossfitters might be the next coming of our Lord and Save. If we did bring back crucifixions, though. Yeah, I think that's definitely.

I think that's how you solve a lot of the crime. Yeah, but like that's got to be tough, dude. Just fucking crucifying dudes at the art museum? True, that's a lot. The Eagles and the Surruble. Things are getting very rocky at that point. He was like, man, we crucified five guys here last week. Jason Kelsey dressed up as a mummer again, like annotating your crucifixion.

It's the whole damn team. Wow. I'm not opposed to that. I'm not opposed to crucifixions. Crucifixions, bring it back on the table. Get a shame lady? A shame lady. Like Green of Thrones?

Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame on you. I don't think they could ever bring back Gen Z church, though, because I don't think, like, the real bugaboo with the church

is the equality stuff. Sure. Gen Z doesn't fuck with that. What? Like, oh, that, uh... You're talking about Gen Z church. Like, like, our gay friends

can't get married and stuff? Catholic numbers are down, yeah. True. Yeah, but they totally, like, heel turned on that. They're like, what are you talking about? We fucking love gay people getting married. What are you saying?

Have we, have we seen... Have we heard anything from the New Chicago guy? I feel like he's kind of rude, like, the fact that he's an American and he's a big Bears and White Sox fan that, like, he really hasn't had to talk about anything nuts. He isn't a given opinion on anything. I think I might have disagreed with it there, Capeggs. He is outwardly like, yo, Ices, for real, one of the worst things that happen in human existence. Yeah, he's like him.

That's a softball. That's like, that's Adam Silver throwing Donald Sterling out of the league. It's like, of course, dude. What else are you going to do? Wow, that's a great fucking, comp. He gets too much. credit for that, Adam Silver. 100%.

No shit, dude. You threw the most racist guy out of the league. Congrats, of course. It was the easiest move of all time. And, like, LeBron's tweeting that he's the greatest commissioner. He's been there for two months. Fools. David Stern isn't even cold yet.

No, not even cold. Adam Silver is being told he's the next coming just because he did the most clear and obvious. That's all he ever does is he makes just the obvious choice. Although he won't get any pushback for all the gambling stuff going on. No, the fact that Sam Presti was allowed to just tank for as long as he wants to and Sam Hinkie's not allowed to. And now Sam Presti might own five picks in the first round. I saw your tweet last night.

couldn't agree more. It's insane. Imagine what happens if you let a team just actualize a business plan as they are to be run. Yeah. And he just got, I think they just got up in arms because they were like, shit, they figured out we had a loophole. Yeah. Be bad, you get a top pick. The top pick's usually pretty good. You get them on the most discounted contract I'll ever have. Yeah. Okay, I'll do that. But the only difference between Oklahoma City and Philadelphia is people actually give a shit about Philadelphia and it's actually a financial hub. Yeah, what even is Oklahoma City? What are they doing out there? Bommel. Oh, yeah, true. Wind? Wind. Tornitos. I got all that stuff over here. Yeah. I had wind literally yesterday.

I walked around a wind all day. Did you eat it? No, I headbutted it. That's what you got to do. You got a headbutt the wind. Don't let it win. There's a bee that was just, yeah, there it is. Dude, it's unfucking real.

It never stops. The bee stuff never stopped. They're supposed to be dead and gone by now. It's fucking 40 degrees out right now. We've got a bee climbing on our fucking recorder. It's unreal. It's got to be a sign of new life. I hate bees.

I think the bee agenda has gone way too far. It's crazy. That people are like, well, they help pollinate the earth. They, what else do they do? They make, we had a bee guy. on one time. They make honey. Honey, they do honey. Everybody always says they pollinate and it's like, okay, I don't need plants that bad. No. We've also exited a society where we're reliant on

agriculture and they're like, no, but we need bees though. It's like, bro, I'm sitting in a stone park. Yeah. The only park that's in the city is largely concrete. We're good on bees. You want to get concrete bees? That's seen sick. I like that stuff. Okay. Concrete bees, like the killer wasps from a couple years ago, that's a concrete bee. Yeah. Bees now kind of outdated if you ask me. Concrete B, that's capital B. Is that right? I don't know.

Sounds like it. I think you might be on to something here, K-Pigs. All right, I think someone wants to come on. Who's that? This lady behind us, been talking to Vito, chatting them up a little bit. No, thanks. We've got to get rid of this B. I'm talking to my friend.

Can you hear us? Yes. Can you hear us? Yeah, now you've got a crowd, too. You guys know them? You guys know these people? Oh, shit. Oh, all right, cool.

So one of them is one of my fans over there. You have a fan? You a fan? You a fan? All right. Sweet. Wait, I'm a fan, too, so it works. So this has been at work.

Can you get some video? This is fun. Awesome. There you go. This has been at work. We ask people what they do for a living. So your first name? My name's Larry.

Larry. Lena. Lina. Larry and Lena. Kyle. It works. Very nice. Very nice.

L. MMK. So what do you do for a living, Lena? I was with federal government, and then Elon Musk came along with something called Doge. Oh, yeah. I decided it was time to leave. But I was at the U.S. EPA. I miss it. Yeah, the EPA, Environmental Protection.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then you're, Maddie's in the, in the, I am, I'm a DOD guy. Oh. Yeah, they came for me, too. But unfortunately, the military industrial complex says, we need them, boys, keep them there. DoD for you? DOD for me. Larry, what do you do? Are you really?

Oh, very nice. What don't you do? What, uh, oops, I'm sorry. I have, like, I work with kids mostly. Okay. And I'll always say, I can't believe you did that too. I've owned businesses. I've been a teacher.

Yeah. I have two nonprofits now. Jesus. I'm just like a local, like, try to help people, guys. Do you ever lay the hell down, Larry? What? Do you ever lay the hell down? No.

You ever rest? No, because I have a cat that wakes me up in the middle of the night. Not even on the seventh day? No, today is it your cat? Tomorrow's the seventh day? That's right. Not for my people. Oh, you're Jewish?

In fact, I got to go. I have an event to go to a 1230. I was going to say, today's your big day. What's a good question? I'm actually teaching someone about that now. They're giving them a hard time. I'm scared. I just wait.

I've seen a lot of my students and their families walking by too. Yeah. Oh, so hold on. We got into it earlier. So how did you guys? You guys don't know each other, but you were talking beforehand? I was asking this guy who's with you, like, who are these guys? Sure.

And do they interview, like, older ladies who are in the Gen X area? And then this guy comes up and says, I know you. And then we realized Larry, Lena, and I said we should both do it. Why do you know her? So one of my many, many students forced me out to TikTok once. And the next thing you know, I'm scrolling like an hour of a day. Brain rock, baby. And I remember.

on the night. And Lena, I remember running into her a while back and I commented on something about a veterinarian. Running into her? Just randomly. On TikTok? Yeah, but I never said hi. Oh, okay. Okay. I just started TikTok.

And then I said, the next time I see her, I'm definitely going to say hi because her content is, seriously, it's amazing. I'm a lifelong... Wow. I know. Wait about this. It's like a commercial. I'm a lifelong Philly guy. She's teaching me about the city. Really? So what's your content?

Yeah. I, when I left, this goes back to Elon Musk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Elon said things are going to go in whatever way they went. I left. And then for a few weeks, I walked around Philly thinking, God, I love this city, and I never had time to think about all the stuff that I know about it because I've been here since 89.

And my kids say that I yap a lot about random facts that they're sick of hearing about. You're good for a dinner party. Yeah, exactly. I'm really good at a dinner party. Sure. And a millennial friend said, I'll teach you TikTok. I was going to say, I've got to say, it's a lot easier not to be a kid. I can just scroll right past them.

Yeah, yes. Yes. Yeah. So a millennial friend taught me how to use TikTok. Yeah. And she said, Lena, if you just have one person as an audience like Larry while you yap, you don't care. Just yap on TikTok. Wow.

And a few months later, I have a bunch of people follow. How many got? How many got? Give it to us. Frag a little bit. 14,000 is not a lot. That's awesome. That's 14,000 more than me.

Exactly. I've noticed they're really concentrated. They're like all these people. Yeah. Story of our lives. Yeah. I'm walking around and people are recognizing me because my audience is really very Philly focus.

Like, look, they're so happy. Yeah, what's your favorite Philly fact? Talk about the Gargoyles. He really is. He's a bossy audience. Can I say one? Can I say one and then you tell the one that you like? Yeah, then you'll tell one and then you repeat one of our TikToks back to it.

Yes. If I can. I'm Lena and I, something. So one thing that I love and we're sitting right next to it, See that duck girl, that mildly boring looking girl. There's a statue right here. A duck, yeah.

And everyone in Philly, do you both know the duck girl? We just watched children paint chalk on it all day. Yeah, yes. So that duck girl is sort of like a calm, boring statue, but like a landmark in the middle of our city. The sculptor who created that statue created another statue that is much more famous, that he didn't like as much as the duck girl. I'm blanking on his name.

Can you help me out, Larry? Oh, Manship. Paul Manship. About five years after he did this, New York City came a call in, and he did Prometheus, who's like sideways in Rockefeller Center. Yes. No way. That big gold Prometheus.

So the same sculptor. And he didn't like that one. He liked this one better? Yes. Yes, I love that. That's a lot about Philly. That's a lot about Philly. I think that's right.

Yeah, I think that's right. Like there's like a Philly strain in that story that I love. Here's the other part of the Philly strain is. I've walked through here thousands of times. Yeah. Literally like a week or two ago, I'm walking through with some kid that I know. And I was like, is that statue always been there? Yeah?

I had no clue. Oh, my God. That's sad, Larry. 100%. But that's why Lean is important. She taught me about the gargoyles. 100%. Now, what are the gargles?

I've never seen these gargoyles. Tell them. Tell them. I had no idea. Who's looking up? You got to look down and make sure you don't step in anything. You are looking up, yes. So at 20th and walnut, it's top of the building.

There's all these gargoyles looking down. upon you. Wow. And now I've told other people about that. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. And I've walked by 20th and Walnut and I've noticed people looking up at that gargoyle building and I think I know why, which is so neat. I know. You play the role. You let them know, like to check stuff out. Check stuff out. And I tell them not to look down. I mean, to look down. Yeah. Do you know about the gargoyles? Do you know about the gargoyles? Now you do. Oh, they seem. Yeah, I almost, I almost, I think I looked up too much because I almost, we had to go to CVS to get some batteries. I almost stepped in dog shit and then someone dropped

jelly someone dropped their jelly on the ground yeah so you got to look down a little bit a terrible Saturday are you from Philly both of you I live in Fishtown oh okay yeah he lives in Jersey

Seth Jersey yeah the Philly of the East the ugly cousin yeah so as a Philly people I'm also like a food snob yeah where's your favorite spot oh god you know what

this is all right go ahead I like how acceptable you get Larry I have had more Philly cheese steaks real quick I thought we were getting more on the gargles from you. You just kind of mentioned they're up there. I thought we're like a story or something. I've had my cheese steaks, probably than every single person who comments on cheese steaks combined. How's your favorite cheesecake? Well, Steve's probably, but I love Gino's.

And the fact that people say it's only for tourists, I'm living here my whole life. I love Gino's. I will say this, Lair. I don't understand. We're already best friends. Good friends. Yeah, I like that. I don't understand the cheesecake discourse because who gives a shit at the end of the day, whatever you like, you like, Exactly. It's all doing the same thing. And they all taste really good. They all taste pretty good. That I would not say if that's a bad one.

Really? I agree with that. But I think you could get the best cheese steak in Philadelphia compared to anywhere else at a corner store that you could get at anywhere else. That you could get at anywhere else in America and stuff. Like that's how good the cheese. We have, it's like New York and pizza and Italy and spaghetti. It's like you go to the worst place in Rome, you're still going to get better spaghetti than you probably are going to get anywhere else. Perhaps.

Yeah. Interesting. So, so you started this. This is like a passion project. Your segways are funny. Yeah, they're bad. When we hate our points, we can go right now. Yeah, we realize.

When we're done with the gargars, we've had a pizza and cheese steak. Yes, that's right. We kind of hit the, you know, the dried and true. So this is like a, it's a passion project that seems to be like becoming more and more of a responsibility. Is this something you kind of want to stick with even after the fact? Or what's this look like? God, I love that question. I'm getting so much feedback that says, Lina, you're making me love my city more.

Nice. And as a military brat who never had a home, I sort of felt like a dust. moat sort of floating around homeless until I found Philly, went to Temple, and married a Philly guy, and had a Philly kid or two. You're supposed to know. Is it one or two? I think she was supposed to get dragged.

Could be a third. She's so deep in the TikTok. I respect that, true, yeah. The brain is just rotten. But there is something about how I'm making people love the city that they took for granted. And it takes fresh eyes sometimes to notice

the gargoyles and the duck girl and make these connections that I've noticed Philadelphians don't make. What do you feel like you do, because there are some people that do like tourism in Philly and they point out certain things you don't notice. What do you think you do that kind of makes it pop a little more? I do have a communications background. I was an educator with the EPA. And my degrees, my schooling, all related to what helps people remember information best?

That was my advanced degree. So I think to myself, what is going to help people remember that that bench down the way, that a lot of people sit on, like I did one this morning, is a bench that says in honor of John Trojanowski. And you're, maybe you sat on that bench. You probably never noticed the little plaque on the bench, but that John Trojanowski was an old neighbor of ours who died a few years ago, and he was the one who developed the protocol for helping with Alzheimer's and dementia.

Wow, no way. So little things like that. I'm diverging. I forget what you just asked me, but there's something so. Well, you kind of just answered the question. I asked you what makes your kind of thing pop, and I was engaged the entire time. you just talked to me. So I guess it's, whatever you're doing is working.

Yeah, and the bench is positioned. I know his widow who's still grieving. The bench is positioned over there to face where she lives. Oh, that's cool. Look out of the window and look at him. That's beautiful. That's really, really nice. So if you know somebody with Alzheimer's or dementia or Parkinson's,

he worked with Michael J. Fox on his foundation, that bench is right over there around the northwest corner. I'm going to go sit on it. Yeah. So we can go from like really sweet and nice to, like true philly yeah i travel the world with kids during the summer where do you go uh you name it i mean everywhere but an arctic what do you guys do i just take them on tours let's uh through a company called travel for teens nice that's nice um it's a life hack because they pay me yeah to

travel yeah it's incredible and you know inevitably you know i say something about wooder or whatever and the kids who don't have no clue we're like wait what i'm like wooder wooder wooder and they try to make me pronounce it the other way, which I can't do. Can't do. But then I inevitably after that, I start throwing in a John here or a John there. I make them love feeling in different ways. Here, John, there, John. Everywhere, John, John.

Hey, yeah, yeah. Wow, that's awesome. I do say, I mean, last summer I was in Paris and Florence and Switzerland. I think he's bragging now. He's a little bit. You know, Norway, every summer, of course. But I fight with the kids. Larry, who are you?

I love Larry's the bad, dude. Philly's got the best food in the world, and I'll fight anybody. Holy shit, Larry. It's the only place you can get a soft pretzel like we got. It's the best place for cheesecake we've already established. And name of a kind of pizza you can get in Philly. You want New York pizza, you got it. True.

You want Naples pizza, you got it. You want... Grandma's slices. Drunk at 2 a.m. slices. Those are big ones for me. Two Lorenzo, you know, you got it all. Only thing you can't get is dollar slices. God damn it.

They used to have it at the place where you would donate. Just to have a lot in New York, too. Yeah, Elon Musk caught those out, too. He's taking everything good from us. God. Damn it. Will you guys get anything else you want to say? What's your TikTok?

Oh, oh, oh. Yes. Say it. Come on. Well, it was good, and then I made it bad, and then it will be good again in 30 days. Okay, well, say what it is ever in the present? Okay, all right.

Lay it on us. Here we go. TikTok kick you off with the music name? Oh. So I have this saying. that came out of my mouth because I've always been interested in something called microdosing. Yeah, I read Michael line.

Okay. Nice. Really? Yeah. Let's all do it together. Do you have a reputable guy or girl that we can go to? Yeah, this guy. Jason, who lives outside. He's my guy. Oh, really? Yeah, the guys that hang out right down there, they're very reputable.

Anyways, so I read Michael Pollan's book on microdosing and how it's like a thing. And ever since then, it's sort of stuck in my mind that I'd love to try it. And then when I started yapping on TikTok, I just, I thought, okay, let me just call it microdosing with Lena because little mini pieces of information. So are we currently microdosing? Well, then I changed it from microdosing

because I was getting contacted about drugs. Excuse me, that's Jerry calling. That's her dealer. Jerry, I'm next to the duck girl. I'm next to these two clowns. The dealer saying you with clowns. So I'm not a clown. No, just two clowns.

And I'm holding a microphone. Bye. Wait, wait, so are we, are we we're oh oh so it was microdose with lina and i changed it to philly with lina and then i wasn't getting called about drugs so are we and then i went back to microdose with lena because a one random friend of mine with bad taste said they didn't like philly with lina so now i'm waiting for 30 days you have to wait for 30 days to change your name back so it will be philly with lina how many followers is your friend how they gave you that advice he's not a yeah there's a reason you say you mind your business brother there yeah yeah i'm the one doing big stuff out of here is good feedback it's so true i i had this problem where i want people to like me i'm right

there with you in line yeah you know what do you think we're out here in a park on a saturday yeah it's brutal yeah i think we're just trying to avoid our wives and girlfriends just us doing bids for affectionate you have a girlfriend oh we have a girlfriend wait a hold on a second so you read the book on microdosing larry do you microdose we'll explain it um are you currently microdosing or you still trying to dip your toe in i am really serious when i say if i meet people who have a credible person to help you, like, talk you through the process and give you the microdose, I will go, and you both seem like fine, upstanding individuals. That do drugs?

Yeah. Microdose. Experiences. Yeah. So, yeah, I'd be interested. Is this a segue into allowing that to happen? You've never done microdosing or you have? I have, well, I'm a Gen Xer, so I've done other things in the late 80s at Dirty Franks.

True. Yeah, that was macrodosing. Dirty Franks. I have you. I heard that loud and clear. I lived right next door. So what are we, are we getting into like LSD, shrooms, THC?

What are we thinking? What's the program typically? Well, I want to do what, what's his name who has a lot of, not as many followers as both of you, Tim Ferriss. Yeah. Tim Ferriss. He wrote, um, the four hour work week.

Before our work week. Ah. He is yapping about microdosing all the time. Yeah. It's his thing. And he's working with, um, uh, John's Hopkin. University to formalize a protocol. Why do I

mention him? So Larry, microdosing is basically like say you're like, say you got like 10 grams of like shrooms. He's too quick. If you're taking like three, because you're maybe your dose is only like a three milligram. That's what you're doing and then maybe you take a little bit more after and stuff. So I must say I'm probably the only person you've ever met that's never done a drug. I mean

you work with kids, I can see that. Jerry has never done a drug. Larry. Larry. Oh, Larry! That's all right. Larry Lina Lena. Oh, that's Jerry. That's Jerry. That's Larry. I'm Kyle.

He's Matt, I think. Isn't it funny how you, did you ever yell at your daughter for taking drugs? Oh, you never take any drugs? Me neither. We're not cops. You can be out. Other things. It's not entrapment.

Yeah. She says that I was lunging for her neck. I was lunging for the fork in her hand. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. But it is funny that the Gen Xers, your Gen Xers, it is funny how the Gen Xers were like so against. drugs and now as we grew older and we kind of like got into like drugs and like

drugs have been easier to get and they're been more experimental and stuff you guys are like all aboard it like Michael Pollan he's a little I got to say I was I was a big proponent against drugs I had drugs banned from my fraternity house are we finished yet? What are you the dare guy

well you would think I did a whole project on it back then and over the last few years I'm starting to understand like the health benefits of certain now I haven't done it it yet. But one day, I think I Where did you go to school?

Well, actually, what's interesting, we just found out, I went to Temple, undergrad, and penned for my master's. I went to Temple. Go out. Go house. I have a daughter, Temple. You got to be the first guy in the history of fraternities to ban drugs for fraternity. Yeah, I had like two guys helping me with it. Yeah, you must have a ton of swirlies, dude.

The Noggy account had to get out of control. It ended up with a lot of, like, wrestling matches in the party room. Because you had their drugs you guys got to get it from, yeah. Imagine you guys did a tab and then started to wrestle. That would have gotten wild. All right. Well, hey, listen, Lena. Thanks for coming on. We appreciate you coming on. Larry, we appreciate you coming on.

I love this. What an outstanding experience. Thank you. I feel like doing more TikToks. You should. In honor of both of you. Thank you. Do you have any choices, any topics that you'd like me to cover? Yeah, there's these two idiots that do a podcast in the middle of Renthouse Square with a table called Men at Work.

My second choice would have been, there's some gargoyles you might want to check out there around the corridor from there. Actually, I want to know the entire net worth of this building, right? That's right, yeah. We'll probably find out. That'll be Larry. That's my lifelong Philly knowledge. I like that. What a pleasure.

Thank you guys so much. Thank you guys so much. Thank you guys so much. Thank you, very nice meeting. Thank you so much. What's your first name? John. John, in your first name?

I'm Micah. Micah. Welcome to men at work. We asked me what they do for living. Awesome. What do you do for living? We're both students right now. Where are you at?

Uh, guess. Penn. Wow. I am. We're flattered, but no. I was going to say the Patagonia vest kind of gave it away. So if you're not Penn, then I'm going to say Patagonia Drexel. It feels like a Drexel.

I feel like we're getting further away somehow. Wow. No. It's got to be the temple. It's got to be the middle then. It's got to be Temple. Little outside of the city. St. Joe's.

Are you a big five or now? Yeah. There's one more. St. Joe's Temple, Penn, LaSalle. And what's the fifth one? Fuck. Oh, Gonova? Yeah.

Oh, I fucking hate going to know. The Patagonia. What are you guys doing in the city? You guys are scared of the city? We're canning right now, actually. Oh, you're canning? Yeah. What does that mean?

What is it canning? So what we do is we're both part of Novodance on campus. It's an organization where we raise money for pediatric cancer. It's like fun. Yeah, exact same thing. But what we do is we bring our scared butts into Philly with a bunch of cans and ask for money in Ritton House Square. Really? Daddy's got enough on this for you guys to do?

That's unbelievable. Dad and mom. Yeah. Whole family. So we're going to take a little field trip. to Philadelphia. The boys are going from the suburbs to Philadelphia. How's the feeling? Are you going to cost it? Have you been attacked? Have you been

shouted at? No, we just kind of make some money. It's awesome. You're taking the cans. It's not for the pediatric cancer. Five cents down the recycle bin, right? I'm just fucking with your voice. I'm a temple guy, so that's why, yeah. I need a little more info about this. So you're going around, you have cans, like actual like aluminum cans? They're collecting cans.

Collecting cans. We take cash in the You ever seen the Salvation Army people? Heard of them? I've seen Santa. Jingling. out there, wringling? For change? That's basically what we do. Ask for change, Venmos, cash, whatever you got. Ooh, Venmos now.

Oh, yeah. And who's taxed? No. Wow. That seems like there's guys already doing that in the city for the love of the game, and you guys are kind of stepping on their territory, to be honest with you. Be careful. You're on their tariff.

Well, that's kind of a very nice noble thing. So this is for cancer research. So you take the money that you guys make from going around, and then you take it back to the cancer pool of money? Like, what's the operation look like? Take it back to the cancer. Yeah. And they fight it themselves.

Well, we're with the B Positive Foundation. which is like the largest pediatric cancer fundraiser in the world. So I guess Novadance is a chapter of that. So every money that we raise here just goes towards our yearly goal. We're going for $800,000. Sheesh. Oh my God, good for you guys, man. Yeah.

So buddy, you guys go to Villanova. Your dad's going to just write a check. Okay. That's what you would think. It's harder than you think. It's harder than you think. It's hard than you think. It's disappointed, too.

But you bet you want to depend, dad would run a check. Yeah, right? We're a little smarter. We work with 19 children and their families. Actually, some adults now. who have been battling pediatric cancer. A couple of them are in remission. A couple of them aren't.

That's okay. But yeah, it's amazing. Every dollar that we raise goes to help fight pediatric cancer. That's awesome. Is your first year doing it? Second year? This is my second year doing it. My third.

Third. How much do you guys raised last year? What was it? 700. $780,000. Yeah, damn, good for you guys. That's a pretty good goal. You guys are going up 92,000?

We're trying. That's almost like 10%. Yeah, right? Yeah. That's crazy. So trying to keep it up. Nice, man. I saw you guys had a bunch of people out here.

Where do the hell do they go? They're all at the corners. Oh, okay. So you guys are staying out here until how long? We're out here for a hour or two. Yeah. If we went to temple, we'd probably go into the bar. If you were a temple, you'd probably wouldn't be, you'd be fighting with somebody else on a corner and go get money and donations and stuff.

So it's good that you picked Writtenhouse Square. You came to where the money is. You came to the financial institutions. Yeah, I mean, we're here, for God's sakes, you know? Yeah, 100. Big money, two guys sitting alone. I guess now we have the donate. Fuck.

Yeah, I don't have any cans. I just throw out a Sprite bottles, which I guess could have helped out a little, but. Good news is we take Venmo. Damn. It's a good trap. There it is. There it is. I'll get you a Venmo.

Where do you guys go to school for? I want to school for economics. Chemical engineering. Jesus Christ, you too. Economics. What's the supply and demand look like right now? Of what? I don't know.

The country? It's not looking good. No? Are we still in an inflation state or? You know, honestly, I don't really know, which is kind of embarrassing to say. That's nice. I don't think you're learning. Yeah.

I'm going to learn. I don't think economics is technically real. because I don't think anyone understands the stock market. Yeah, nothing is real anymore. There's not, like, economics used to be like the buying and selling of goods, and now we're buying and selling money to buy and sell money to loan money to people that are buying money to loan money to money. And with the terrorists coming down, going up, coming down, going up,

your head must be just jumble all the time. It's actually like, it's easier as a student because it gives us so much to write about when we get projects. You can just look at the news, and there's just like another once-in-a-lifetime economic event. This is pretty easy. You saw the shut. You saw people losing their jobs, and you're like, yes, that's a five-page paper.

Exactly. I was like, I don't have to research anything. He's all snap benefits going, be like, dude, I'm about to collect so much money on that course, a lot quicker, yeah. Very, very nice. I get that, though. I hear you. It's something interesting to talk about.

It kind of lends itself to your field. Chemical engineering, are you going to fix everything that's wrong with everything? What's going on there? Goes to be a doctor afterwards. Really now? What do you do with chemical engineering? Like, what kind of doctorhood? The goal for me is pediatric cancer.

Oh, sweet. Okay, so you're in this for the long haul. I'm trying. I love that. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, we were talking about, you're going to hate this. But we were talking about church earlier today.

How did we get on the topic of church? Oh, there's a social experiment going around right now where a woman is like doing, she's going up churches and stuff. Like all the, all the sex of churches and everything. She's asking for formula and she's kind of taking a poll on like who would let her, you know, come down and get formula for her starving child and who would and everything. That's just a long convoluted answer of saying, is there really a goddess? he's giving cancer to children. You know what? Hey, that's going to be a tough one to answer.

What a question, huh? You know, I didn't know where he was going with that one? Yeah, wow. I think I was going there, did it? That might have been out of left field. Not even remotely? No, that's the stuff they don't teach you at Villanova. Let me tell you.

Yeah, you think so. I do have a follow-up. Answer him. No, that's awesome. Because chemical engineering, you could go one or two ways. You go just build a bunch of nukes or you could go and try to stop pediatric cancer. And you know what? True.

I like the way you're going. I like the way you're having a good. I appreciate that. Have you been affected? Have you been touched by pediatric cancer, like, in the past or stuff? Because is that why you're, like, so, you know, so gung-ho about it? I'll tell you what, I've been blessed enough to not. But I came to campus and learned about this organization.

And once you meet some of these families that we work with, it's impossible to not feel like you're affected and to get in on it. Yeah, 100%. And good color, too, yellow, right? Yeah. Yeah, good ribbon. Yeah, great. Good ribbon color.

Great ribbon color. It's bright, easy to see. 100%. Is there any, how much? try to ask this like you're trying to pivot out of this like a delicate way so a lot of times you see like specifically i see videos than me just asking if god's real because they've just watch this one out okay all right i'm ready for Josh Allen is like very well known for uh I think he works a lot with kids who are of different ailments I think cancer is you know obviously a big part

of it but like other ailments do you ever see him and you're kind of like we're the ones collecting fucking cans come to somebody be nice to us about it like he's getting all this like props like oh Josh Allen what a nice guy you guys are out here doing the nitty gritty collecting money, putting money towards the research. Is there any like... Where's our deal? Can you throw the ball 60 yards? I cannot.

I'm working on it. One of these days I'll get back to and say I could. I mean, to kind of answer your question, I kind of think everybody helps in the way that they can. And I think that he is blessed enough to be in a cool position where him just being there helps in a way that, I mean, if me or John were there, I don't really think they would be too, too excited.

But I'm saying they should be. They should be pumped to see you guys. You guys are doing great work. I would just think you guys serve a little... Thank you. We appreciate it. A little bit of your due, you know. Yeah. Yeah. How much, let's get that on the file. Let's get that on, how much is Josh Allen given to pediatric cancer? That's what I'd like to compare it. Probably not as much as Micah and John?

800,000. That's a lot of money. It's just saying. I'm still trapped. $800,000, guys. That's awesome. Can people that are watching this if we put a little link in the bio? Yes, they can. Novadance.org. N-O-V-A-D-A-N-C-E dot org. Okay. The only organization at Nova, I will support it. Definitely won't be the basketball team. I'm right there with you. I love it. Very nice. Anything else you guys want to say?

I think we hit it. No, yeah. Perfect. Thanks for having us, guys. Thank you guys. Good luck on your studies. Thank you, my man. Thank you, brother.

Nice meeting. Go find the cure for cancer. Let me get that Venmo, fellas. Because we're not going to do it. We're not smart enough. Man, don't you just love seeing the youth saving the world? I love seeing it, dude. It makes me happy to see as an adult.

It makes me feel guilty about who I was as a 19-20-year-old. We lost. Our generation lost. We were already lost. We were supposed to be the good generation, dude. Like coming up, I came up. I was in college or in Trump's first presidency. You'd think that'd make you a little bit more of an activist.

I saw Joey Beasley put in office. No president changed who I was as a person. I just kept drinking beer and sitting alone in my apartment. Obama didn't change you? Yeah, I was a big Mitt Romney. I went to Catholic school by entire life. He got elected when I was 14, and I was like, oh, no, they're taking our guns. Nobody in my family owns a gun.

Dude, that was a big concernation. When Obama got elected for the second term, I was big on Mitt Romney. I was like... A bonoful woman? Huh? You had a bonifold woman yourself? It's called your book. My Mormons, my baby girls out there.

But I was just, I mean, I was a 14-year-old Catholic kid that was raised in the Catholic church so I was like, you're going to elect a Muslim, dude? What the hell? 14-old Catholic kid, you're like, you're going to take my fucking guns. Oh, dude, that's what I thought. I was worried about losing my guns that I didn't own.

Nobody in my family owned, I don't know a single family member that owns a gun. I have no family members that are already gone. I was worried about them coming for it. And I was like, Obama care is a sham. I don't even know what health care is. I know all my dad's about all I got. No, 100%.

Yeah, then he'd get older and you realize Obama, Obama, no. So, you want to come on? You want to come on? We do a podcast. We ask people what they do for a living. He can, he or she can come on, too. Fair. I'm good.

That was awesome. All right. No worries. That's fine. Check us out. Met at work. Go Blue Hens. Go Blue Hens.

I mean, you can't just stare at us all big and sexy like that. Yeah, that was crazy. That would be my first question. So what are you big and sexy? Yeah, I think I'm done actually immediately right away. What's your medical thing? Being hot? Okay, dude.

Yeah, having a huge cock. Is that your medical issue? Oh, that was it weighing you down? Yeah, oh, man. Speaking of, another real quick thing we can touch on since you're the sports man. There was a TikTok girl who's famous and she's married to, I believe he's on the Bengals. Her name is Haley Bailey is the TikTok girl, which is how gay I am. The TikToker, I don't know the football player.

He, like, plays. He's like a full-time NFL player. She talked in an interview about they can't even make love. Did you see this? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because his dick was like two coke cans stacked on top of each other. Too big.

Unbelievable. They said they, like, he, now that, now that chemical engineer who's trying to fund pediatric cancer and find a cure for it, find a cure for that guy's dick, too. I feel so bad for that guy. Now that you mention it, the guy's got two Coke cans at his pants, those kids might want to go grab it and silver. That is true.

Every cent counts. Every red cent counts. Wow. Isn't that nuts? I saw that and it's like, you get... They divorced over it. Yeah. Can you imagine your text?

But imagine. So, like, is that a cool thing to say? If, like, if you're the dude, is that a cool thing to say, like, your girl? Like, it was weird because she was on another podcast doing, like, saying it. Yeah. So I thought that was a little weird. It was like a live stream. It was like a live stream.

Yeah. The whole live stream. Which is, like, it's cool for your ex to say that. I mean, it's, like, way better than being, like, now he's got a micro penis, like, Hitler. But then again, I was kind of like, I don't know, would I want that out there? Like, it's awesome having a huge piece, but, like... It's kind of like the Pete Davidson effect. You got to, like, weigh the good with the bed where, like, everyone knows that Pete Davidson has a hog, but at what cost?

But his hog can actually, like, go inside a woman. This guy's hog, like, physically cannot. Yeah, the fact that you have a hog so big that it's detrimental to female anatomy is unbelievable. You got to feel like you're almost like a... like you're a bit of a Frankenstein 100%. I mean that guy can only ever date porn stars or women that have had at least two kids.

I don't know that they've ever been in the same group ever, but I mean, a lot of them become porn stars because they've got to support two kids, and we bless you guys. But there's definitely, like, him hearing that. I just keep trying to put myself in his headspace because I think you'd think he'd get all jazzed up.

But then there's also like the normal trope of like, if you got that big of a dick, you don't care about your, perception. Got to have back problems. True. Maybe a reduction. They tried.

They said they looked at every medical surgery, every medical procedure they could do, and they just could not find one, and that's why they had to end up getting divorced. Well, and if they better not have, if he did get a procedure to make his dick smaller and they got a divorce, imagine him being like, I cut my dick off for you. I literally cut my dick off to save this marriage. Yeah, but then how does that please her? It'll make her feel bad about enacting the divorce. no yo yeah no at some point at some point he's got to call it quits and then you have to hope that

your ex-wife one day goes and tells everybody how much of a massive hog you have because no i mean how many how many how many how many divorces oh that guy just tripped that was funny uh how many divorces i inset that guy is the exact opposite we're talking about that guy literally looked like he just he's like he's gonna he's gonna sue me one that he's 100% dude his wife complains that he had the exact opposite that was so funny did you watch that guy trip That guy just tripped over that. He looked over us to see if we saw it. I was like, I didn't say it, and he just stared me down.

Blood tripping. Blood tripped. He stared right through my soul. Oh, God. That's probably. He probably, like, liquidated a charity like today, so, like, I don't feel bad for that guy. Yeah, he's out there reinvesting the $800,000 they're raising right now. I have a slush fund.

But, like, I found myself feeling bad for the guy. Yeah, I just felt bad because you also assume anybody with a big dick is stupid. So I imagine he's a dumb guy trying to navigate, like, his wife. He's like, he's cheap, we don't know why. me, but to talk about my pee, and he's like, he doesn't know how to feel. He has, like, he has handlers to tell him this is how you should feel about it. And he goes, okay, I'm angry. True. But complimenting.

I get that. I respect that. And his wife, by the way, people got to chill out with the plastic surgery, bro. Oh, yeah? Oh, my God. It's getting insane, dude. Like, everybody used, like, normal people. I see people that work at, like, dick sporting goods that have lip filler.

And it's like, what do we do? Just be you. You're beautiful on the inside and out, and you're freaking me the fuck out. That's true. Yeah, my girl gets, uh, the forehead stuff. I'm just like, what are you doing? Your forehead's fine. Yeah, the forehead stuff is one thing.

But she's like, I have wrinkly forehead. I'm like, I didn't look at you when I was like, that bitch has a wrinkly forehead. Yeah, Gav's looking into that herself. Is it a Botox is called? I think so. Yeah. They might connect over it. Botox is a gateway drug, ladies.

I think it is. I think it'll get you when you don't want. Like, we had a lot of moms. I mean, I grew up in Defert, New Jersey. We had a lot of people walking around when I was at my parents house for Halloween. And I'm looking at them like, who was wearing the mask. You guys look horrifying. And these are just moms and cookie mom.

It's Haddonfield? Oh, no, the Hadinfielder's. Haddonfielders, man. Oof, my own, brother. And when are we going to be like, there's absolutely no chance a Zempec doesn't have lifetime backfires. There's no chance the Ozepic doesn't backfire. There's no chance. That guy just tripped till.

It's the law of action and reaction. You can't just get skinny with no repercussions. You got to give a little bit. What you might give is the back quarter of your life. Yeah. Was it worth it? And you can make that decision. If they tell you, hey, just a heads up, you're not going to live past like 58,

and you go, I'll be skinny until 58 is what you just told me. I'm cool with that. True. Maybe some people say, yeah, I'm cool with that. But I do agree. You're talking to two guys who drink beers on the weekends. And it's like, we're just filling ourselves with poison, too. Yeah, we're no better.

Nobody's any better than anybody. That's really what we're getting at. You know what? I'll get plastic surgery tonight. Who cares, dude? I don't have any leg to stand on. I can use a tummy tuck. No, you look as strong as hell.

I was watching my bet. I was watching the replay of the Preston Steve Popper shop. And there's a part where I, uh, I, um, good. Okay. We'll keep an eye on him. Yep. Yeah, good job. There was a, there was a part where I, uh, just put my, my hand over my head and it looks

like I am 300 pounds. I saw the picture. Now, what I will tell you is you got a little bit, you got stand-up belly. Before you get on stage, you're so nervous and you're so thinking about what you have to do that you don't have the conscious mind to suck your stomach in like you always do. I've been there many a time, dude. You're about to perform, and you're like all nervous and thinking about what's going to happen, who's looking at me, and you're not realizing, oh, my God, the guts out.

True. I do it all the time, brother. I got, I'm sucking in right now. Yeah, you never notice you are to, you aren't. And then sometimes there's a photo of it at the president's deep camp out for hunger, and that's always going to happen. Yeah. Wow. Stand-up, I get that. Before I get on stage, it's popping out. When I get on stages.

Yeah? Oh, yeah. You maximizing the diaphragm a little bit? You suck it in the diaphragm. I'm hitting vacuums, sucking in the rip cage pops out, getting as thin as possible. You must have great vascular strength. Not really. I don't think so. Cardiovascular. Not anymore. My heart's down by the wayside.

It's true. I'm dying one day at a time. We are having a heart pepipal dishes. Just another way to die. Bown, bough, bough, bough. What about you? Anything new with you? No, I just suck it pop a shot. No, I saw it

Look, we talked about On the page a little bit They changed the fucking Basketball net Yes, I did I could lean as much as I could My game is all about leaning We did it

We did it above the Bulleers at one time Me, you and Foster I know, that's why I had pretty high hopes You were pretty impressive Well, this year they had a long They had one that was It had a, oh shit The Magicians back

I know, yeah I was going on the whole time They had the They had like this little Plessy glass barrier in front of it So you had to actually Like it was it was more touch this year They forced you to play the game

The right way It sounds like No 100% You were the guy at the pong table let's got the elbow over each side. 100%. No, yeah. I mean, I, but I just went into it thinking that we were getting the same,

we're getting the same game as last year. And that wasn't the case. You should have complained. You should have, like, throwing a hissy fit in your green room. Just kick over like a mic? Yeah, just like, this is horseshit. I didn't sign off for that. I'm not doing it.

Stone Cold Stunner, Mark Zumoff? No, Stone Cold Summer. Dude, hit him with the people's elbow into the basketball machine, dive over the plexiglass. Just go after someone in the crowd. Why not, dude? They remember me. Now, I saw it.

You went short, and that's all right. It was just, I told you, we talked about it before, but going short and then going short, short, short, long, long, one in. Short, long, long, one in. Here we go. Okay. What do you want? What do you want, Pina Gallery? Yeah, why don't you sit down? Fill an extra eight minutes for us. I just wanted to tell you what my favorite part of that video was. Oh, let's talk about it. I mean, the announcer was doing a great job. I thought he was great. The announcer. Oh, the announcer? Oh, the announcer. Give them legend his due. Yeah. What's his name? What's his name? Uh, that is Mark, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, is um, um, how I see how is his name is name?

Mark Zumov. You got him. Jesus Christ. The guy. It's been so long. It's been four years. It feels like for everyone because he's been so fucking bad. I boycotted everything.

Now, I met him. He's awesome. He's the man. Zoo Planet. That's why I remembered his. His Twitter name. Yeah. Of course I remember his fucking Twitter name.

BrainRot. But yeah. Literally brain rot. I'm on my phone too much. Anyway, what do you want? When he's, when Mark Zimov said, he has not made two in a row. That was unbelievable. That was great because, you know, it's hard to notice that in a pop shot game.

but two in a row he pointed that out and I went back and like this man is right he really did not get two in a row and then he never got two in a row after that either yeah I'd alligator arms

my arms my arms went like I touched you breathtakingly bad he came after your arms too yeah he kind of roasted you I was watching on the screen

I was like don't even fucking talk about my friend like that's how good friends of me and zoo are true you only roast the ones you love yeah I guess so bump so yeah but he did I mean he did talk about my muscles definition. Then I put that picture up on Instagram and I went to the gym literally right

after. I was like, all right, I'm going to go to 30 minutes of abs. I did 15 minutes of abs. That's how it always goes. You always set the goal of like, I'm going to do an hour of abs. Then you get there and you're like, oh, no, it hurts and I farted by accident. I got to leave. I've done that. Dude, my gym has so many hot chicks in it that it's like the ab place is like in the quietest section of the gym. Yeah. And it's like every time I feel like I'm just going to let one loose and you walk in that room like they see you come in that room and you're a tall drink of water they're probably horrified you're coming to the ab room you seem distracted lately what the fuck he's trying to make a joke what he said i don't i want to hear it again i want to hear it

the girl's next to the ball court you know it looks like what it looks like lately you know the girls working out next to the ball court stop moving your fucking you keep taking it away what i want to talk why text um no um i'm saying let's hear it again let's say it dude what i say was that you know he said the girls are next to the ad machines and stuff whatever and i was saying it was next to the ball court because he hasn't been playing basketball well lately, you know? Oh, that's good. I like that.

I'll stick the behind the camera next time. When you have to do the joke three times, that's when people are always like, that's when you nail it. No, it's the rule of three is in comedy. You say the joke three times. That's the true rule of three. You know, I don't mind what you guys do every time.

And when I'm on my microphone, I'm like, it's so much harder to do this when you're actually on camera. Like, behind it's so much easier. But yeah, now what I'm saying is Kyle sucks at basketball. I will take you in the post and I will dominate you.

In real basketball, he will just size me up in that way it all depends i mean but like i don't understand because it's like it's like you go and you shoot on like an indoor court you could go seven for ten easy you go to double rims on an outside court you might go four for ten seven for ten but from where where are you shooting seven for ten on a basketball court that's what i was thinking free throw that sounds about right depends the last time you played you get surprised if you haven't played in a while you get surprised about you got it took me a whole game yesterday to warm up i played a three b three day today it was pretty bad first game i was nice third game i was out of it that is the toughest when you go to a court

and you haven't played in a while, and you take, like, the first shot, it's always a three, and you airball it, and you're like, oh, my God, my identity. I always say first shot, worst shot. First shot, I like that. That's supposed to be that bad. I like that. But, no, KPEGs, I was proudy.

I thought you did a nice job. I thought they were mean-y, and I'd appreciate it, and I'd like to have a word with Mr. Zoom off. Please come back. Zoom, Zoom's the man. I said that we were hanging on the RV before, and it's just, like, such an awesome guy. Such an amazing, good, genuine, down-to-earth person.

I miss him every single day. I truly do. Every time I listen to a Sixers, I watched Sixers last night, and I was like, God, if only Zoom off was talking about Kyle's arms during this broadcast. It said I got Kate Scott doing, like, she does, like, nice mom talk during the games. They do a podcast. It's her and Ola, just doing a podcast. True. You get them during a challenge. Oh, God, is that some of the most unbearable conversation of all time?

I mean, I know there's supposed to be homers, like, because that's just, like, how every local broadcast is and stuff. But they're just, like, cringy, like, homers. Yeah. Like, it would be the most blatant foul of all time, and Ola would be like, no chance. I agree. Touch him. Which I think he did a full heel turn. A couple years ago, he used to bother me because when he first came on, I was like,

this guy's just doing an audition for a national broadcast because he would be too unbiased. And I'm like, he got to fucking talk shit about LeBron, talk shit about Kevin Durant a little bit. And then he goes to the complete opposite way. Now, my only thing that I think I would change for the Sixers, how about this? You guys tell me what we think about this, speaking of a podcast. Instead of when you miss two free throws in the second half, you get Chick-fil-A nuggets. What if you get Blu-choo? Oh.

Everyone in the audience gets a thing of Bluetooth. Just get it rock hard? Just get rock hard. What about chicks? What about the ladies? You get a blood pumping, I don't know what does of them. It gets a blood pumping, I mean. Get some blood pumping.

You just have a bunch of hard, angry, red people. What happens to make if they would do it twice? More blue chis. You have to keep beating Blue Chips. It's just three. One, two, three. That's it. Okay.

Every missed free throw. So let's say you're playing, like, I don't know, like, if Ben Simmons ever comes back in the league, it's the Ben Simmons return game. And they go, all right, guys, second half. We know Benny Boy is going to miss a bunch. All right, so send him to the free throw line. you walk into the Wells Fargo parking lot at the end of the game

Xenity Mobile, excuse me, imagine having a bunch of drunk hard guys. That's what Philly fandom is about. They'll get rid of the we throw snowballs at Santa Claus. They'll be like they're the hardest franchise in sports.

100% the hardest play. What do the girls get? OZempichu. Take it a bluechum. It's equal opportunity. Instead of the thunder sticks, they just start using their cots to do.

They're just meat spinning. Dude, the kiss cam gets a little weird at the second half of the Sixers game. I'll tell you that much. Anything else you want to say about my performance? Honestly, sorry, putting a former 76er in the competition, just not fair.

Who played? Mark Jackson. That is wild. Mark Jackson. Mark Jackson was a temple? Yeah. Hand down, man down? No, no, no, other Mark Jackson.

Okay. That's a famous Mark Jackson with a C? Yes. Okay, got it. He's on NBC Sports Philly. Of course. Post game. Yeah, good man.

Him in J-O-B. Two more things I want to say. You did have, like, overall, though, you were a showman. You did a good job, like, at being bad. Thank you. So it was the best you could have did in that moment afterwards. Me, Bryce Harper, both showmen that don't come up in the clutch. Yes.

Do you see him? Yeah, he looks. Everybody's getting him shit, dude. No, I didn't know. He looks bad. I think he's got like a, like, a happen. You see the picture? No, what happened?

Dude, he looks like he bruised his own beer in Fishtown. I was going to say he looks like one of your neighbors in Fishtown. Exactly. He's looking like shit? He's looking like absolutely shit. Like out of shape? No, it looks a little skinny, actually. But like the entire, like, combo of like beard to mustache.

to shave head ratio. Sunk in eyes, too. I don't know what that's about. Yeah, I don't like it. He's going dark. I don't like it. I can let you know, me and Gab drove out of our way

to drive past his house other day. That was it nice. You give anybody that much money over 10 years? I think he's going to change him four or five in. Yeah, but I think he's becoming, he used to be like a notorious asshole

now. He just seems like he's coming. You know, it was crazy? I saw this. I didn't even think it was fucking him. I just kept scrolling. That looks like a guy that you could put a black and white

filter on that picture, and that's like old Harry Doyle. He used to pitch 747 innings back in 1918. I put it out of Delco accent around this guy. There he is. Dude, this is crazy. I didn't even think that was him. There's old three finger, Mordecai Brown.

Three finger brown. He's never seen a pitch he didn't like. He got, remember, he lost his two digits in a bad hacksaw accident on his farm. And he still pitched that day. That's what he looks like. He has that mustache going on everything. I don't know what the hell is going on him. Morty Guy Brown is crazy, dude.

I mean, that's what it feels like right now being a Phillies fan. You know, when you sign Braist Hart for everything is going good, and now it just looks like he's kind of tired and out of it. I mean, it's only, let's be honest, it's only November. The guy's got seven months to put on 20 pounds of weight and stuff. It should be easy. He just looks like shit. I don't even know what I'm tired of, I'm tired of the, the bougie, grocery, raw milk price.

What does that mean? He's doing raw milk. Yeah, I don't get the keifer or whatever it's called. Yeah. Yeah, I don't get that business. What do you mean? What's the wrong with that? Roll milk's like unpasteurized milk.

People say it's like not good for you. It like has like, I mean, it's not sterile. You know, there's a reason why they got a pasteurization. process. And I know there's going to be someone in the YouTube comments. They're going to be like, actually, raw milk has insanely good health benefits. Yeah, I thought Kiefer was good. I used to drink Kiefer. Raw milk is also laden with bacteria

that can literally kill you within 24 hours. I didn't know, though. I'm all against milk, though. I didn't know that Kiefer is wrong. You're against milk? You're against milk? I drink all my milk and all that. Yeah, I do too. Because I just don't think it's good. Like, it's a lot of fat and there's a lot of disgusting shit in dairy. So I just you know, I am, you seem like a glass of milk with dinner type of guy. I don't need pork either.

Wow, al-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-l-a-a-a-a-a-a. I do eat, though. No diddy, no ditty. Yeah. Same page. That's crazy. You don't eat pork? I try not to.

I'll eat bacon on a burger sometimes, but that's about it. I mean, I'll still eat pork if I have to. I'm not, like, if there's food there and there's nothing else to eat, I'll eat it. But I'm not trying to choose it. You're off the 2%? You're off the pig? All the 2%. I will do milk in, like, you know, my coffee or, you know, mac of cheese or, like, ingredients for, like, like, food or something.

but overall I try to avoid to that stuff That's the funniest way to be like I don't eat pork by being like I don't eat pork but like if I'll have it if I want to Yeah No no I have to or if like There's no other option like if I'm fucking starving And like I need to eat and it's there

I mean you can't be 30 years old with a milk belly Just not allowed So I used to drink whole like I discovered whole milk That's crazy I discovered whole milk in college Yeah and my roommate He showed me it He was fat, go figure

But he was like dude you got to try this shit And I tried it and I was like high shit Of course like him in college And I'm like Yo what is this shit I started eating my cereal with it I started drinking whole milk just off the half gallon. Like off this, just drinking whole milk.

You used to love it. I used to be drunk at like two in the morning. I have a video on my phone I can show you it. You can put it in the fucking, you can put it in the podcast if you want. It's just me at 2.30 in the morning. It's like my friends recorded me. I'm just like chugging whole milk. Just ripping whole milk.

Ripping like out to the bar and stuff. This ripping milk, uh, whole milk. And I'm like, that hangover had to be terrible. All my hangovers were terrible. Well, milk belly hangovers. Just cut. Like, why is my inside? Just feel like I'm going to shit in my brain down.

And to wrap that up, I, I, I actually developed a lot of health problems during that time. I used to have, like, a little belly, and I used to actually have a really bad problem with my digestive system. I almost said it again. Your respiratory system. So I had a big problem with my digestive system, and, like, for months, I was actually messed up.

I started doing probiotics, stop drinking milk, and actually I'm, like, 100% fine now. Maybe your selectors intolerant. It could have been that, so. There is a little bit Asian in you that I've always seen that is rejected the milk. I think that's what's happening. Well, I used to love milk. And, like, I started overdoing it.

That's when I had a problem, but... You had an addiction to milk? I had an addiction to milk. I used to drink, I used to only drink, like, fucking milk, dude. It was crazy. It's addicted to the cow. How long have you been clean for since it's been about three years? It's been, uh, been five, six years.

Six years over. I think I quit milk entirely. Nice, man. So, Matthew Vito, 29 years old. I've been clean off milk for about six years now. Hi, Matt. Um, where's the lowest of my low? Uh, I used to come over the bar, drunk as fuck.

Yeah, I still drank. I used to just chug milk when I came in from the bar. It was just so good. One time I got so fucked up that I put like a big thing of milk inside like a glove and I cut holes in the bottom of the glove where the fingers are and I sucked it out like an utter. Anyway, Matt Vito 29, so. That's where I would have been next if I didn't stop.

That was the next step. Yeah, if I didn't stop, that was where I was heading. I used to shoot up, fair life. It just had my lowest under the bridge. Yeah, anything I could get, honestly. I mean, I was doing Heritage's milk for a little bit. I was sitting Royal Farms milk. Well, we'll say, man, this sober life's not the same.

I mean, like, I don't drink a glass of almond milk like I would drink a glass of milk. That's so funny. I like, Joe kids have, like, rings of Coke around their nose. You have, like, the fucking got milk thing around here. Hey, man, I just need a little bit more, man. Just give me through, man, come on. Just can't believe that. All those celebrities pushing milk for all that time.

That's why you don't give homeless people milk because you're like your money. You're like, you're just going to even spend it on milk. That's what it's all about. That's awesome that you used almond milk to break your habit. It started with oat milk, and then I realized I don't like that as much as almond milk. Oak milk gives you tities, but I kind of like oat milk, so I just... It gives you tities. I just... I deal with it.

Yeah, oat milk apparently gives you tities, according to Stephen A. Smith. What is Stephen A. Smith now? Tell them to worry about the hair line. I got to give someone at the ex-girlfriend. Oh. Okay. Great. And hits the fan. That was good, though. That was good, though. That was good. No, no, I'm going to keep that part in. All right. Whatever you're saying on the court of law. That's what you said. All right, you want to wrap it up? Another one in the books, baby.

All right. We'll talk to you guys. Hey, subscribe to the Patreon. Subscribe to the minute at work. Thanks for listening. We love you guys. We'll talk to you. Goodbye.