Mention It All - A Firing On The High Seas Ft. Fraser Olender

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Dylan is joined by Fraser Olender, who has his hands full as chief stew on this season of Below Deck. Fraser shares the story of how the show came into his life, and how his promotion this season has changed the experience. He also gets real about the difficulties of working with Captain Sandy, and of course, gets into the details of Camille and Alissa’s drama this season. Later, he muses on his future with the franchise, and shares why being a famous yachtie actually makes it harder to get work. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Betches Media presents. Ha ha, laugh, funny. Mention It All, a Bravo by Betches podcast. We don't say that, but now we said it. With me, Dylan Hafer. We're going to check me, though. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Mention at All podcast.

I am Dylan Hafer, and today I am excited to be joined by one of the stars of below deck this season. He is the Chief Stu aboard Motor Yacht St. David. Police welcome Fraser O'Lender. Hi, Fraser. Hello, hello, hello. How are we? Doing well, very into this season of Below Deck. I was saying before we came on the air,

I was running a little behind on this season, and then I finally caught up last week, and, oh boy, it has been a journey. I mean, it's going to be a great binge watcher. I've got lots of my friends and family now who are waiting for it all to come out just to give it one good go, because it's crazy.

Like, it was a very, very insane, overwhelming season. How would you compare? obviously you're the chief stew this season, so your role is a little different, and we can talk about that. But just in terms of the overall vibe of the season, how different is this year versus last year? I mean, it's a whole different world. I think I definitely was having a lot more fun last season because I was able to be a little bit more relaxed. I put a lot of pressure on myself this season round in my new job, in my priorities. and I wasn't experienced enough in my mind to really take on the mammoth of season 10, but I had to do it one way or another.

And so I just really had to focus on the work as much as I possibly could, which means for me, you know, drinking less or having a bit less fun. But I made the right decision to focus, for sure. Yeah. So going back to last season, can you walk me through a little bit how below deck came into your life for the first time? and was it an easy decision to do the show to begin with? Yeah, so I was contacted from some,

I was a yachtie first and foremost, and I was working on a wonderful vessel in the Mediterranean, and I was contacted by the team, and they asked if I'd be interested, and I didn't give it much thought. You know, I thought, I thought these opportunities don't come around very often. And I didn't see my life in yachting.

Well, I didn't see the rest of my life in yachting. So I thought there had to be, you know, something that broke up what I was doing. So I thought, why not? And I don't have any regrets whatsoever. I've loved it. Did you realize, I know you're not from the US originally. I don't know how much Bravo knowledge you have. Did you know kind of how big of a deal below deck is and how much people care?

Absolutely not. So to this day, I'm like, what is going on? And I, before I started yachting, I had heard about this show and I was like, oh, I'm going to, I'm going to just watch as much as I can to just to get some of the terminology and just, you know, just to see what it's like. So I had watched the show beforehand, but only because, you know, I knew nothing of what I was getting myself into. And I loved it. So I was already sort of channeling my inner Kate and Hannah from the get-go. But no, I had no idea it was on this massive and mammoth scale. But it's great. It's great being.

I'm in the US right now. My dad's actually American. But I haven't spent too much time here. So when we don't have readily access Bravo at home. So I didn't realize it was going to be this big. But I think it's such a fun journey to be a part of. All of a sudden, you're at BravoCon in New York. You're like, what is happening around me?

What is going on? How does people know who I am? It's so weird. I love it. What has it been like kind of getting to know some people from other below deck shows and other seasons and stuff? Is there anyone you wish you could work with? I mean, absolutely. I've been very fortunate to hang out with quite a few of them.

And I don't have a bad word to say about anyone. I think they've all been wonderful. I, of course, would love to work with some of my closer friends now, Daisy and Courtney. And of course, Kate and Hannah, if they were able to get back into it, Josiah as well. I mean, I could go on for hours, but yeah, I don't think these worlds are going to collide sadly. So we'll maintain our friendships outside the show. Yeah, once you're in the Chief Stew tier, it's pretty hard to get on the same boat with them. Yes, you're absolutely right.

So speaking of that, what was the process like getting asked back for a second season and then getting to be the chief stew this season? because you said you didn't really feel like you had necessarily the level of experience. No, well, I say this. Basically, when I first went to do season nine, we discussed being a chief, and I said, no, thank you. But no, I don't want to go on TV and make a fallout of myself, not knowing what I'm doing. So I finished season nine, and I went back to the med, and I was promoted to chief stew. So I did have three or four months of a season to get to know, you know, the reins of the job. but I was working on a boat that I'd worked on for two and a half years.

I knew all the crew, I knew the boat inside and out. So really, I was just copying what my previous Chiefs' Jew did, and she was phenomenal. So it wasn't too difficult to do that. Now joining this vessel, St. David, which is one of the biggest boats I've ever worked on with a team I didn't know, not least a boat that I didn't know. I didn't know where the cut, we didn't know where the cut,

the glasses or the plates were, the morning of charter. I mean, it's just insane. just insane. It's a huge, very proud to have done it, but my lord, it's not a walk in the park. It's always wild to me on these seasons, how you all show up and then you're picking up charter the next day and you're like, I don't know where anything is. I don't know, I don't know how the laundry works. I don't know where the appliances are. Like, I just, I would need a week and a half. It's not fun. I think out of, I hate to say this, but the hardest part about doing this franchise is doing it.

It's filming it and it's awful. And at the time, you're like, no, this needs to stop now. Please get me away. But I think once you've done it and you've completed it, hopefully with a smile on your face, you think, what an utter achievement. And I don't know many people who could put up with some of the things that we all get to see. But I'm very proud of our work.

Yeah, I've talked to other people who have been on below deck shows. And it does seem like one of the toughest parts of it is balancing the idea that you're doing your regular everyday job, you have guests on board, it's your number one job to keep them happy, but then at the same time, you have another job of being on this TV show and that you have to balance the two. And I mean, especially coming on as chief, that seems like an extra thing. I think the biggest mistake anyone can make doing this show is thinking that it's a show. I think that we are very blessed to have one of the only, I guess, Bravo shows, but one of the only

reality shows where we actually put in 100% of our work and our sort of skill into something that's filmed. We're not rocking up to have, you know, planned conversations here and there. It's not how it is. And so what I always did, and I don't know

how I did it, but it's actually quite easy to forget, once you're in the job where you've got so much going on, you forget that anyone's there. You truly do. Now you're going to be slightly, you know, when you're getting ready and you're in the nude and someone comes up with a camera, you're going to realize that that's probably not the best time to get and change. But aside from that, you forget that they're there because you've got a job.

And if you don't do the job well, then that's millions of people looking at you doing a bad job and that's your career on the line. So this is very important to me that I make sure that I do the best work I possibly can inside of this show and out. Mm-hmm. So good, so good, so good. Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom rack stores now and up to 60% off. Stock up and save on the brands you love like Vince, Sam Edelman, Frame, and Free People. Join the Norty Club to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more.

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Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. You said you had watched some below deck before you were on the show. I'm sure you were at least aware of who Captain Sandy was.

Yes. What was kind of your preconceived notion? of her and then what was it like having to adjust to a new captain in the middle of the season? Well, going with the latter, it was a really difficult time to be dealing with the issues we had on with the girls as well as having this huge shift in management from, you know, from losing Captain Lee and taking on Captain Sandy. Not only are they very different in how they run a boat, but I've also worked with one for a good amount of time who trusts me and you can let me do my thing and one who doesn't know a thing about me and who kind of wants to oversee everything I do.

And I didn't, I didn't really know how to best gauge that. I did the best I could, but it was, it was a lot. And, you know, dealing with the girls, there's so much going on. It was definitely, it was a shift and it was a shift that hit. Mm-hmm. I feel like Sandy, I, everyone seems. to agree that she's a great captain, she's great at her job, but she does like to know everything that's going on on the boat. And if she wants to get involved in a situation, she's going to. And as

Chief, obviously, we've seen a little bit of that friction where it's tough to kind of manage, but then also handle that dynamic. I totally agree with you. I think in this circumstance, we needed someone to make a decision, a decision that I couldn't make. And in these circumstances, we needed Camille to be made, exterior or interior. we got her brilliant, but at least that put me in a position of finally being able to make an executive decision. I couldn't do that beforehand.

Everyone online's being like, phrase, why didn't you sort this out weeks ago? Because that wasn't, I wasn't able to. That wasn't my job role. That wasn't anything I had to say over until she gave me the permission to be fully in charge of her

and ultimately get rid of her. Yeah, the decks do think. it's nice in theory, but it's tough on the boat when, you know, somebody has to be managing you. It's not a thing. It's on a thing on very small boats where everyone does everything. That's a Dextew. On a super yacht, there's never been space for it or place for it. I've never seen him, you know, outside of this and for good reason.

Do you, so obviously when you're on the show like this, a big difference between your other charter work that you've done is that then you get to watch it back on TV or maybe you have to watch it back on TV. What has it been like this season watching things unfold with Camille and Alyssa? Because I'm sure you have a lot of feelings watching it again. I mean, it's shocking and it's really, it's kind of hard to watch because people forget that I only see what you guys see what you guys see it. And if I'm not there in the moment, I have no idea. And you can hear whispers of other people saying this on the other. But if I didn't witness something myself, I'm not going to take it to heart.

And I think Camille acted like an angel when she was around me and she was working because she knew I'd pull her up if she wasn't. But I couldn't be around. I wasn't a babysitter. I had to trust my crew to do the jobs that I'd allocated them to do. And there was no time for me to be following her around.

So sure, the exchange between those two was bad a lot of the time, but I wasn't around to see it. I always would have obviously nipped it in the bud. Yeah, it seems like pretty quickly it got to the point where Camille didn't like Alyssa, Alyssa didn't like Camille, there was not going to be any kind of respect between them. And I think people need to realize that in a job where so much is asked of you, in a job where you know, your hours fly by like seconds, there's so much that needs to be done,

I personally didn't see it of interest or to any of us to encourage the, this little cat fight for no reason for just, you know, disliking each other. We had a job to do. And the job needed to be done. And so wasting time, giving them a microphone to talk about how they're both feeling towards each other when it just wasn't, it was just a case of them not liking each other wasn't a priority. This whole season I felt for Haley, because I feel like she's just in the background, getting her work done. She just wants to have a good time. Yeah, she was brilliant. I mean, Haley is a phenomenal human being and she kept us smiling and laughing the whole way through

and I don't know where our season would be without her, honestly. Do you feel like now that we've seen that Camille is not going to be making it to the end of the season, do you have any regrets in the way that things were handled or do you feel pretty good about how everything happened? I did what I had to do when I was able to do it. I was not her boss until this last.

episode so I couldn't do anything. I couldn't make any executive decisions until now. So I, this is the only thing I could do. We were experiencing issues before Captain Lee even left, but it wasn't enough to fire. And again, she was shared between deck and an interior. And I also think we all need to understand how big this vessel is and how many hands we need. It's very easy for everyone at home to say, get rid of her. But those hands, which may not be always, you know, so helpful are at times we need them. And so, yeah, we need as much support as we could get. But it got to a point where we opted to work harder with her away from us than in her. You were on Watch What Happens Live earlier this week and you were asked if you could say

three things that Camille did well at her job. You could only come up with one. You said she looked great. Have you heard from Camille at all this week or since then? I've not spoken to her this week. We do speak. I love her. I really do. I think we have a phenomenal relationship. And you, sadly, you guys didn't see some

really funny, wonderful moments we had daily. We got along like a house and fire. She just wasn't the stew for us. I have no bad feelings towards her whatsoever. She was a terrible stew for me. She had a really bad attitude. I say that to her face. I don't.

you know, it's very difficult to say otherwise. But no, I support her and everything she does, and I want her to learn from this, if anything. Mm-hmm. Coming off of that episode, you also kind of got reprimanded by Sandy a little bit for trying to intervene. Did that catch you off guard?

Because I actually had to rewind the episode a little bit because I was like, wait, what did he even say? Yeah, what did he say, Dylan? I we were mid, I think it was mid meal. There's a lot going on. It was like a six hour dinner, but I think you were in the middle of it. Yeah, and it's like maybe we can wait till the end of the charter when we haven't got guests, especially these guests. So basically my advice was, can me please just get back to work or have your, like, she can finish her food and she get back to work.

And we can, like, not now. And I don't, I don't, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I don't regret saying that. And I wasn't telling Captain what to do. Don't get me wrong. I was just saying, maybe we can do this afterwards. And I don't think that's a problem. And yes, I was taken off guard and I was really scared.

Let me imagine also, you know, you're in close quarters with everyone. When you have guests on board, especially, when there's drama happening, it kind of sucks everyone in. And it makes it hard for everyone to do their jobs effectively. So I feel like, you know, Rachel's in the kitchen trying to get some. some food on a plate. You've got the crew doing whatever they need to do. It's like, let's just put a pin in it until later. Quite.

And I think that's always the rule. The rule is to, you know, prioritize on your, on the guest experience. Obviously, what they were doing, fighting in front of, well, everyone says they're fighting in front of the guests, they weren't. The guests were actually nowhere to be seen. But it's just not, it's just not professional. But it wasn't the time to deal with it then. So it is where it is, and we'll see how it sort of pans out.

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Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. I'm curious to get your opinion on the other side of the crew we haven't talked much about, but on your nights out, we've seen Ross being a little bit sloppy, I would say, you know, he's having trouble kind of focusing his attention in one place. So what has your thought been watching that on the episodes this season? Well, it's interesting because I was so concerned with the amount of work we had to do

and the shift of management and, you know, the problems in interior. I really didn't focus on it. And I'm watching it back. I'm like, what? Like this, how, when did this happen? Like, people had too much time on their hands, clearly, to be doing all this stuff. And I'm constantly, I guess just not, you know,

to me, that wasn't important at the time. But I had no idea that Ben and Camille had a night together. I had no idea of all these things. So watching it back now is a bit crazy. But, yeah, this happened, you know, nearly a year ago. So lots happened since. I've moved on.

I know, it must be strange to kind of go back and be like, wow, I have to, I have to think about this again. Yeah, and you try to, and you're like, well, I don't know how I actually felt. But, you know, you've got to be a response for what we, you know, for all of our actions and behavior, at least on the show. And then you come around to reunion time and it's like, oh, God, now I have to actually go back there. It's going to be exciting now. This season is crazy and it only gets, it only kind of gets. more intense. So it's, yeah, it's going to be a fantastic reunion, albeit very uncomfortable. Yeah. I'm curious to get your thoughts a little bit on Rachel this season, because I think everybody agrees. Rachel's food is great, but it seems like this season, her time management, her plating stuff is starting to kind of bubble up a little bit in some of these charters. Do you feel like that

makes it hard as a chief for your team to effectively manage the guests during the? the charter? For sure. I think you are the voice as a chief for basically the whole boat. So any communication between anything that's happening usually is for you to deliver. And when you've got extended, very long, delayed meal times, etc., you have to be the one to think of excuses or by time, by doing other things. So it does cause a hell of a lot of stress on us to spontaneously have a moment where we decide to do experimental cocktails for everyone because we know that the food's taking its time. I think Rachel had a big,

there was a lot of asked Rachel this season with how large the vessel was and how dispersed her fridges were from where she needed to be and all the rest. So that may have been an issue, but yeah, we definitely were faced with a few too many delayed meals. And, you know, she's amazing. She's amazing at her craft,

and she wants to push herself, and she likes to challenge herself by having huge extravagant 12 course meals. And I'm all for it, but only if it can be done within a specific time. And there wasn't much of that sort of going to plan at the beginning of the season anyway. Mm-hmm. I'm curious, so you've done two seasons of this show now. Obviously, this season in your role as Chiefs do. Do you feel like you could see yourself doing this into the future?

I think I think I learned a lot this season and I loved it it definitely has shaped me into a better manager I would definitely consider it I love being part of the BD family and I guess if people like watching me then I would definitely consider going again

but I think it really does come down to the fans and they're so supportive and they're so into it. I know a huge part of the success of this show. You know, if we haven't got people tuning in and wanting to watch, then we haven't got much. So as long as I can be on everyone's good side, then I'm happy with that.

Yeah, it's a double-edged sword. You go on Twitter and people are like, you know, questioning everything about your entire life. I've become really good at blocking. I'm like, okay, boop-p-p-p-p-p-so just like, that's what I do. Get rid of the haters, then you don't have to see it. You're like only following Fraser fan pages.

Yeah. No, I can't even look at those because then you've got trolls who like to go in on them and be even nastier. So I just stay out of it. What's done is done. We all need to be responsible for what we did. And we are not the narrative that we can't control it. So it is what it is. You had mentioned that between the two seasons that you filmed, you had gone back and worked in the med.

Is it tough to go back to just kind of, I guess, regular work? after you're kind of in this heightened experience of being on the show? No, I much prefer it. I prefer, I guess because I was sort of brought up in that. That's why I learned all my experience. It's very easy for me to fall back into it with ease. Every boat is different. My only concern now is it's not as easy getting jobs

coming off the back of this franchise because, yeah, I guess people recognize you. Yeah, that's interesting because I guess if you have a lot of, you know, high profile clientele and stuff like that, it's like they want the staff to almost kind of fade into the background versus being like a personality. Yes, and I totally understand that. But what also has been excited, I've got, I've had some really, really, you know, well-known people reach out to say they love me and want me to work for them based on, you know, my personal answer from the show, which is really cool. So yeah, it's a double-edged sword, I think. Yeah, but like you said, you don't want to be in yachting forever necessarily. So good to have other opportunities. Again, I'll do it for as long as the industry and the beast will have me.

Yes. Well, Fraser, this has been so great. And I'm enjoying the season of Below Deck so much. Can you just tell us we still have a ways to go? I think we're only like eight episodes into the season. And what do we have to look forward to? Just give us a little teaser. I can tell you that, when I think back over this season,

the Camille stuff doesn't even register as drama compared to what's happening and what will happen later in this season. So there's a lot to happen. Things in the interior, you know, don't particularly get ironed out. It's a lot. It's a long slog to go, but it's going to, it's very exciting. Lots of very interesting, peculiar, and outrageous things are yet to come. It's funny how that works that when you get rid of the person who seems like the problem, the problem doesn't necessarily go away. No comment, but yeah. I won't push you too far. I know you can't say too much.

No, you're right. Well, thank you so much. This has been so fun, and I hope everybody catches up on this season. Thank you so much for having me, Dylan. It's been amazing. Thanks so much, Fraser. And thank you everyone for listening. Don't forget to rate, review and follow the show wherever you listen. You can follow us on Instagram at Bravo by Betches. You can follow me at Dylan Hafer. And until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mentioned at all is produced by Dylan Hafer, Sean Kilby, Jorge Morales Pico, and Rebecca Sousa McCat. Editing by Horace Pico. Social media by Dylan Hafer, guest booking by Dylan Hafer and Ali Friedlander. Be sure to follow at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter.

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