Mention It All - Accountability Doesn’t Happen Overnight Ft. Katie Maloney

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

For this week’s Vanderpump Wednesday, Dylan is joined by none other than VPR OG Katie Maloney. They start by looking back on the past year, and how filming season 11 felt different after the Scandoval whirlwind. Katie then shares her views on some of the biggest issues of the season, including Scheana’s tendency to forgive and Sandoval’s faulty apologies. Later, she teases what to expect from the upcoming reunion, and whether she’ll be watching The Valley. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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See Store Online for details. Betches Media presents. Ha ha, laugh, funny. Mention It All, a Bravo by Betches podcast. We don't say that, but now we said it. With me, Dylan Hafer. Welcome back to the Mention at All podcast. I'm Dylan Hafer, and today, Vanderpump Rules Wednesday, as always, I am so happy to have

in the studio of Vanderpump Rules, OG, herself, Katie Maloney. Hello. Hello. How are you doing? I'm good. We're like a little over halfway through season 11. You just filmed a reunion. Yeah.

What's the vibe? The vibe is, you know, just surviving. Yes. Clinging to life. Yeah, just surviving. It's good. It's good. Can you take me back in time a little bit to like this time last year, a little after, this time last year, when a lot was happening.

A lot of attention was being paid to every little move and post. And like, what was it like to live through that time after being on this show for 10 years? Like, you were not new to the spotlight as a reality TV personality, but this was something completely different. Oh, totally. I was just thinking, like, what month are we March? It's March right now. Yeah, no. I mean, we were just like mere weeks into that hell.

And I just remember, like, it was unbelievable. I mean, everyone, it was unbelievable to everybody. But to us especially, especially considering that it was just day after day, yeah, week after week, just like more things kept revealing itself. And I just, I was like, can this please end? Like, I was just, it was a lot. Yeah. It was, it was inundated with information and attention.

And we were, I think at this point, maybe still filming again, again. So it was intense and it was just trying to process what was happening and a lot of heightened emotions obviously. So, yikes. Also, doing the show for so many years, you must get in a rhythm of like, we film for these amount of weeks and months. And then at a certain point, the show premieres and there's an episode every week and, you know, people talk about it. But, like, the story kind of isn't, isn't, like, developing in real time like that always while the show is airing. Yeah, I was just talking about it this morning with Megan, actually. It is like this sort of sense of like cyclical arrested development in ways where it's like

you film like this chunk of your life. And then, you know, it's the turnaround is like whatever. But like you kind of sit in it because you're like and you're like talking about it like in interviews, you know, and then it comes out and you sort of relive it. And then you're talking about it. Yes. Like here. You film the reunion.

And then you're like, okay, we're done. But you're like, not really done. And then you start filming again. And then it's like kind of filming that chunk of life. So it's like it's sort of like these seasons. Yeah. We will call it of your life that you kind of just heavily focus on. And then you're sort of living your other life outside of it that's not being filmed and not being talked about.

It's it's very compartmentalizing your life in ways that like is so not normal or natural that it's hard to really explain. Do you try to do right now? I'm like, do you know what I think though like in the challenge of explain? you're showing how strange it can be. And then when you come back to film season 11, not that long after everything has kind of unfolded in the spring, do you feel like the approach to the season changed at all because there had been so much attention and information and all of that?

Yeah, I think it had to. Yeah. I don't think there was a choice. I think for a long time our show was, you know, we didn't break the fourth wall at all. but I think because of the attention that the show got, we kind of, we had to address it. There was no way around that.

It would have been, you know, we'd have been lying to everyone and including ourselves to not mention any of that. I feel like that also kind of happened a few seasons ago when it was like everybody stopped working at Sir. That it was like, yeah, we're like, this is our life. It's not like, we're not just like showing up at a certain time. Yeah, because, I mean, this show became like very popular over time. And there was a lot of people that, you know, where, what shows are out there that, you know, it takes place where there's a backdrop of an actual location that people go to and show up at like this where, you know, it came, it got to a point where we almost couldn't work there anymore. Like, we really couldn't. Like, we had to keep modifying our shifts and our roles there to the point where it's like we had to just.

Yeah, I mean, I've seen, I've seen Peter on like a Thursday night at the same. Or like even he can't, you can't like whatever. Yeah, I mean, it was like I would have a section of tables that I would just, I would go to like, you know, put an order in. And then I would just be like taking pictures for like 20 minutes. And it wasn't fair to the rest of the people that work there. It wasn't fair to the tables. The people are coming in there is terrible service. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like we have other priorities besides serving tables at this point. It just, well, it just became that. It became like two very different things that were happening at once. Yeah. Is it, I feel like in the last year, there must be kind of an interesting thing that happened where like before it was like you were taking pictures with people at Sir because that was like the place that people knew you from. And then after it's like, is that just everywhere now? Like it depends. Honestly, like some, I don't know. I could go a whole day out in about in the world and no one says anything. Or I don't know. Maybe they just, I don't pay a tip. I don't know. I don't notice things. Or I'm, you know, I'm, you know, at the grocery store and everywhere and all day long.

I don't know. It truly just depends on the day. Yeah. I don't know. So going into this season, what do you feel like was kind of your, like, ideal outcome of the season? Because obviously, you're not on amazing terms with everybody that is on the show. I'm not? You're not.

Perhaps. What was your, like, what was Katie's personal, like, goal for the season? Much like dating, I try not to be committed to any kind of outcome. I keep the expectations super low. I don't know. I had no idea. Listen, I knew how I felt. You know, I kind of like have to just lead with my own integrity and just kind of let that be like my compass, my guiding light.

I didn't know because, again, like, not a lot of life have been lived. So it was too hard to know how other people were processing those emotions and like what was going on. And the dynamic was so messed up and weird. So I didn't know how things were going to evolve. I mean, I kind of when I was asked, you know, who do you think would cave first when it came to Tom? I kind of joke. But I was like, oh, Sheena. And I didn't know.

I didn't know because she was pretty adamant and, you know, and how she felt about things. but it was really hard to predict. Yeah. So I didn't, I didn't want to. I just was like, I can only control myself and how I feel. And so. I think it's hard because when you're filming a show, obviously it is, you know, there's like an inclination to have these kind of like story beats, I guess,

of like things progressing at a certain rate. But like you're saying, it's like this is a really complicated situation. Not a lot of time had passed. Like having these sort of like, weekly breakthroughs of people's relationships and stuff doesn't necessarily feel authentic to you, it seems like. I can't just fake the funk, really. I understand it's a show and I understand what would be so great to happen.

But also, like, I have to do what feels authentic to myself. I have to be able to back up my actions and things that I say regardless of what we're doing. You know, that's important to me. Yeah, I think it's interesting watching the season because I feel like there's sort of this idea that you and Ariana are like moving the goalposts of who has to do what to whatever. And I actually think that you and her have been super consistent from day one of like, these are my boundaries, take it or leave it, kind of. I just, it's not about like, you can't do this or you should do this. It's just, I'm just asking like, hey, like, I'm just, I just want to know, like, if this is how you're feeling based on, like, you had, you were, you held very strong opinions

that seemed to, that seemed to be rooted in your own integrity from your own, like, experiences. So, like, if that's changed, has your whole entire opinion about this particular concept or this theme changed. Because to me, like, if I were. to change that much about opinion. Like that would, that would be like a life shift. Yeah. That would be, that would be like a big one of those things, which can happen over time.

Like, over time. Right. Not over. Overnight. That's what I mean. Like, it was, it was rapidly changing. And so I, like, if I'm, if I'm not coming at anyone, those things or trying to, like, control them, but I'm just kind of calling out, like, or just calling into question, like,

behaviors, you know, but no one's trying to, like, move the goalposts. Ariana was, I know people want to question whether it's an ultimatum, but she just was kind of basically like, be friends with whoever. Like you want to be friends with him? You want to forgive him? Go right ahead. But like if that relationship ultimately makes me feel uncomfortable, I'm going to probably

remove myself or just probably not be investing as much in it as I would. But she's never said, I'm going to not be a friend. I was maybe just condensing or like. saying like, okay, so basically what you're saying is maybe that friendship will change. Yeah. And maybe it will not look like a friendship anymore. But I was just trying because it was. If you were to put a label on it, perhaps it would be a different label.

Yeah, but I don't think anyway. I think we were just kind of like, oh, this is how I feel. And it's not really, I'm not changing, at least not right now. I don't know what's going to happen in 10 years. But unless I mean, again, and if there's, I would say, what do they say, strong opinions held loosely. And upon new information, then you can change it. But I wasn't getting new information. I wasn't seeing anything new happening.

Well, I think that's kind of like the crux of the conversation that you have with Tom Sandoval in this week's episode at Ariana and also Tom's house. Like, he's saying certain things that seem like the right things to say in theory. But you're basically just saying like, okay, then do it. Then show me. Then. Yeah. It's like words, words, words, words.

Yeah. Great. I can talk all day too But like I think showing Using your actions I think is more important I think like what you were saying Kind of about the length of time

And the kind of amount of effort That's needed to actually change those feelings It clicks with that too Because it's like Okay like great Like you're saying this now and I hear you But like It's still gonna take

It's not gonna be like I'll get back to you in an hour Kind of thing like Yeah also I kept noticing him saying those things and trying to like really show some kind of or not sorry not show but uh trying to talk about an apology or you know being contried but not showing it and if you didn't play into it he would turn around and go okay well f you then and it like if he didn't get his way he would act out and turn around and kind of double down and you know uh retroactive i don't know

I don't know what the word is out, but like, go back on it. Yeah. And you're like, see. I think the idea of, you're not, you're not sorry. I think the idea of accountability is, is always kind of this like looming thing of like, okay, like there's, it's not just like a checkbox. It's like a, it's like a process of showing that you are being accountable. Like it's, I don't talk about it. You'll be about.

Yeah. Are you, do you have, is there any part of you that is like, I wish I went on that Tahoe trip? No. No, it looked awful. I mean, it was really pretty. Tahoe is beautiful. I would love to go to Tahoe, but like, no, I'm good. Yeah.

It felt, I mean, obviously, like, watching these shows, it's always, like, a bummer, I guess, when not everybody goes on the trip together. But at the same time, I'm like, just, I feel like truly, personally, it wouldn't have made sense for you and Ariana to be there. No, I mean, we said, like, if, if it was. If everyone was going to a hotel, if there was a kind of that, where there was true, like, separation and it wasn't, there wasn't the real goal of, like, really trying to, you know, kumbaya with everyone. Yeah. Yeah. Perhaps. Mm-hmm.

We know the business, you know, but I just, it didn't feel right. Yeah. So good. So good. So good. Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom rack stores now. and up to 60% off. Stock up and save on the brands you love

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Your algorithm is feeding you. cutoffs, you're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear open that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Watching the episodes though, like not having been there and then watching the episodes, were there moments that were like surprising or illuminating to you in a a way that you weren't expecting necessarily?

Or do you feel like you had kind of already arrived at whatever conclusions you needed to? I mean, what on God's green earth was that meditation junk? Like that was that was manipulation at its finest. Look at this person in the eyes. Like I would have been like get aft. Get effed. I'm not really, I'm not like a meditator to begin with. Like I feel like having somebody else like guide me through something is always like a little bit like.

Oh, I'll get down with that, like, all day long. You just weren't. It was like a little. I'll meditate all day long. But like, I just felt like there was, that was just such, I felt, I felt bad for Sheena in that moment because, like, she was clearly so deeply uncomfortable with it and having to look him in the eyes and look him in the eyes and this is the last time you're ever going to see them.

I could not believe what I was watching. It was a little, it was dramatic. It was beyond, beyond. I think that's like a good call with Sheena specifically because you mentioned that like, if you had to have predicted who would like, you know, fold first that it would have been, she'd, but also, like, that didn't help. No, I think she was, I think she was trying to, like, really work through problems, but, like, having, kind of having moments like that are really being, like, forced into those

types of situations and positions, like, didn't, like, help her because she just was, like, I'm wrestling with these feelings and thoughts, and maybe she wasn't ready for something like that. I don't, I don't know. Yeah. She was clearly really struggling with that. Yeah. And it just like was. And she was like, I mean, there was like stuff with her and Brock that she was, you know,

working through also, which I think this season has been like very, you know. She's going through some stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously. So. And I think that's one thing where like all of you that have been on this show for all of these years now, it's like even if you're not always seeing eye to eye on a given

situation. Like you've all been through it enough to a point where like. everybody can kind of like get it. Yeah. Oh, fully. Oh my gosh. I've been, there's some things on this show.

Yeah. 11 years is a long time. I know. Like a lifetime. Yeah. Do you ever think about like going back all of those years like if certain things had worked out differently and this show like wasn't what it was or you did it for a season or two and then it went away? Like or is it kind of tough to go in that direction?

I mean, sliding doors. Yeah. There's so many options that could have, but like, how I couldn't, I don't even know what's different options I could arrive at. I don't know. I don't know where I'd be. I don't want to, I wouldn't want to change anything. As wild as it's been and hard at times, I don't, I wouldn't change it. I like how my life has ended up.

Yeah. I feel like that's a good, like watching yourself on a show for 200 something episodes, which is just like, it's crazy. But it's like, if you nitpick it too much, then it's like that's all you would ever think about. There's too much to choose room. No, but truthfully, it's, it is very, yeah, it's illuminating to watch yourself. It's, I mean, if you can be self-aware, if you can really like do, be introspective and honest with yourself, it's a really powerful thing to be able to do it. not easy. But I, again, like, I'm grateful for it.

Yeah. I would do it all over again. But, yeah, it's... Do you watch, like, old episodes ever? Like, if it's on TV or something, are you, like, get that away from me? No, sometimes when I see, it's like, it's a random episode from, like, season three. And I'm like, I don't remember. I remember, like, the highlights, the big moments from, like, previous years.

Yeah. But I'll forget about an entire, like, little storyline or something that I'd have. happen and I'm like this is so funny. I forgot about that. Because that I mean there's so so much text to pull from. Yeah. Oh gosh. Yeah. People like random characters that I'm like oh my god I forgot like who who was it randomly Tiffany this girl that jack stated. I was like oh my god when they went to San Diego and she set up this like whole hotel room for them and they brought like girls back. I'm like geez. I forgot about that. Well that's been honestly it's been I feel like we've had a little bit of like deja vu with some of the people that Sandoval has been hanging out with this season a little bit,

like seeing Kyle Chan in the mix. I'm like, oh, he did somebody's engagement ring, I think. Everyone's engaged in me. And then like, Billy Lee is at the pool party. And I'm like, wow, like this is a cast of characters. It's vintage. Yeah. Yeah. And I do feel like, so we've met Joe the last couple weeks on the show. I feel like you have been proven write with the audience about Joe very quickly. Yeah. Listen, my goal with that was not to be rude or mean. It was honest. I mean, I wasn't a different place when I was speaking about that on social media. I wouldn't probably take that approach or use that type of language.

But I was in a different place. But I mean... I think that people had strong. reactions to seeing them together on the show last week and then there's some more. There's a turtle story that just is. I will say, I will say, watching Joe on the show was a journey for me because I went, you know, I was like, I didn't expect to have the reaction I did. Does it feel like, I mean, obviously you and Tom have been, you know, separated apart for a couple years now. It's not so fresh anymore.

Does it feel like kind of ultimately like a good step that it's like, okay, we're like on our separate journeys now? Yeah, of course. And I wanted us to get to this place where, you know, we could move on and date and try to like be on our own past and journey. It's a little weird at times. I'm just like, oh my God, he's like fully like, good for him. You know, I don't know what he's up to. Yeah, I mean, usually you don't have to like be watching them actively. And vice versa, you know, like, I know like, but I was a little disappointed in him, though.

I will say that much. Expand on that. Well, it hasn't happened yet. Okay. You'll see why I'm, I get. Yeah, we've got some episodes left to go. It's coming between him and Joe. It's been.

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It's like, Sheena is, she goes up to Tom and is like, you should, to Tom Sandoval. And it's like, you should apologize to Katie because it was hard that you were doing a restaurant with her ex. Oh, we're at the Belmont. Yes. Of course. Sure. Oh, yeah.

No. You know, I was a little bit because, and it's, I feel like this is where, it's like, Sheena's like kind of fatal flaw where she really does want to do the best thing. And she's, I think she's like trying to help. but she's like over-correcting in ways where it's like, okay, well, the bar wasn't, like you doing the bar with Tom wasn't the thing that gave us a divorce.

Like, or the reason why I asked for the divorce. Like, it's like you're like, you're like, close, but like off by a mile. Right. You know, like you're headed in the right direction, but just like go, like, you're just like off by a mile. So I can see that. And the same thing with like,

like the stuff with like Ariana and, like, Ariana is like, you're like begging him to apologize. to Ariana, but like, Ariana at this point, doesn't want the apology. Yes. She wants him to just kind of, like, leave her alone and, like, make her life not hell. You know what I mean? So it's like, what you're doing is the intentions are good. Right.

Like, I appreciate the, the intention, but, like, I would have rather you not had that conversation. Yeah, but just maybe, like, just leave it alone. You know what I? Yeah. So it's like, I was a little surprised because it's like, girl, I don't, I don't really want that either. You know what I mean?

Like, I simply was just stating like why I feel the way I feel because he has not been good to me. You know, he's, he's been horrible to me over the years for X, Y, and Z. So this is the way I feel. I don't need you to like go tell him about that. And like, like, demand that, you know, he do anything about it. Because he's not going to. Yeah. There's nothing he can do at this point.

How do you view Lala's approach to sort of. the issues in the group this season compared to Sheena's. Because it feels like they're sort of trying to do the same thing a little bit, but maybe going about it in different ways. Yeah. I know that Lala really, you know, her goal is to be empathetic and understanding. And that's great. And Lala is the type of person that she is that person.

You know, like, I know she has such a soft heart. And she is, you know, she feels so much love for people. So, I don't know why she feels she needed to sort of like overextend in such ways to like Tom or anything like that, like she could just be that on her own. But the only problem was I feel like she wasn't really extending that as much to Ariana. I feel like she was being a little. critical in ways towards her. Like, with the house stuff and not really...

I know she didn't understand it, but I feel like... Yeah. Like sort of that, that, like, sympathy kind of, like, ran out at a certain day, and then it was like... Exactly. So I'm like, okay, well, you got all the patience and empathy and softness for Tom Sandable, but with Ariana, you're like, well, you live with him, so you lost me. It just seemed a little, the imbalance there didn't. Yeah.

Didn't really, I know. I get that. Isn't that sense? Yeah. Okay. You just had the reunion. Obviously, we're not, it's going to be a little bit before we get to see it. How are we generally feeling coming out of this season's reunion, maybe compared to last seasons?

Not well, bitch. Honestly, it was exhausting. It always is exhausting, but like it was a really long day, of course. Um, much different than last year, thankfully. Less, um, less coming and going of, of people who had to be kept apart. Yeah. I was like, I was like, James, you've, you've not got up once. Wow.

That's growth. He didn't go, he didn't go leave to go take bathroom breaks. Uh, but no, it was still like very emotionally charged. Yeah. There's last years. And, um, yeah, but I think, I can't give anything away. It's okay. It was, but, I mean.

I did not like it at times. I'm very upset. I feel like... I don't know if you... I feel like you're somebody who's like... Some people like live for the reunion. They're like, this is my chance to go in there and like set fire to the rain. I don't know, whatever.

And some people it's just like, okay, like I guess we have to do this because it's the end of the season. Is that kind of your vibe? No, I am not a Carpe Diem at the reunion. I'm just like, I guess I don't know what kind of fresh hell people are going to bring so but like we got to do this you know what i i just i am like just clenching my way through it i truly don't yeah are you curious are you going to watch the valley um you know i'm i'm sure i'm going to catch some of it you know i mean like i'm friends with some of the folks on there so

yeah yeah have you been have you talked to brittany and jacks at all lately no okay i don't know about like what's going on. Yeah. No, I have not. Okay. You'll catch some of it, just like the rest of us.

Yeah, yeah. I'm curious, so we talked about looking back, kind of like, you know, over the course of this 11, 12 year run,

it's been a lot. How do you feel like doing the show and kind of the whole experience of this world has changed you personally? Oh my gosh. Well,

I, it's like I've been doing it for so long that I'm like, I know, I know. Even thinking back to season one, I'm like, okay, like, who was Katie? I mean, I'm a different, I think anyone who, between the time they're 26 and now 30, like, they're just a different person in general. So just comparing me to that person, I've grown a lot. I think I'm, I don't know. It's hard to say because I just, I've changed just as a person. I think you're good at, like, standing your ground emotionally and, like, asking for what you need.

What else? Tell me more about how it's changed. Your hair is different. Yeah, the haircuts. I mean, I think, like I said, like, watching yourself on TV, it's, if you can, yeah, have that kind of self-awareness. It can be a really amazing healing tool. It can really force you to grow up. and force you to change some things or not.

Some people, they're like, nah, I'm great. 12 years looks different on different people. No, it truly, it truly does. But I think, you know, it's definitely made me tough in a good way, but also maybe too tough in some ways. But, you know, it's not for the faint of heart. It's not easy to do this. You know, you put a lot of your self out there,

a lot of very intimate moments and parts of your life out there. And people get to just rip it apart. So to come back year after year for more, it's, you know. Yeah. I don't know what that says about me, but. Yeah, well, maybe we stay off, we stay off Reddit sometimes. I'm a masochist. That's what it says.

That's what I've learned. Hey, you're making it through. Yeah. Thank you so much, Katie, for being here. This is so fun. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. And thanks everyone for listening.

Watch Vanderpump Rules Tuesday nights on Bravo. and until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mention It All is produced by Dylan Hafer and Shannon Sassone. Editing by Shannon Sassone. Social media by Dylan Hafer. Guest booking by Ali Friedlander. Be sure to follow at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter.

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