Mention It All - Born For Reality TV… And Not Ashamed Of It Ft. Grace Lilly & Mikel Simmons (Southern Hospitality)

Episode Date: December 22, 2022

Dylan is joined by two of Southern Hospitality’s breakout stars, Grace and Mikel, for a debrief on their Bravo journey so far. They discuss their work history with Leva, and why this show was a no-brainer opportunity for both of them. They also unpack their dual beefs with TJ, and Grace shares where she stands with her BFF-turned-rival Maddi. Later, they talk about their respective journeys with body image and sexuality, and why tackling those issues on camera was important. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ha ha, laugh, funny. Mention It All, a Bravo by Betches podcast. We don't say that, but now we said it. With me, Dylan Hafer. We're going to check me, boo. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Mention at All podcast. I am Dylan Hafer, and today I am excited to be joined by two of the, definitely the most exciting people on one of the most exciting new shows on Bravo.

Please welcome Grace Lily and Mekyll from Southern Hospitality. Hey, all you guys. How are you guys doing? you're a few weeks into this new wild ride of a time on Bravo. How's life? It's a shitstorm is what it is. It's literally a amazing roller coaster that I'm terrified of every other day if I enjoy the rush of it. That makes sense.

I'm having so much fun, honestly. I love every bit of it. I feel like both of you guys are pretty much made for TV. So it's been fun to sort of get to see your personalities a little bit in these first few episodes. And I know you guys have been friends for a long time. So can you kind of walk us through your background with each other and kind of how you got here? Yeah. So I met Grace.

You guys put two different middle schools with the same high school though. And so we had like this was a friend group in Charleston. So it was like she had friends that went to Carrie out, friends with the military, but all had the same exact friend groups. So the guys became friends through like social media. through like going to parties, when like IOP dance, which are like middle school dances and stuff for like our age. And then you were working in Republic before I did.

Yes. And then during the time in high school, he was singing in the church. And, you know, I was hanging out with the bad boys, being a bad girl. So we were in two different places in our life, you know. But we came together throughout this experience and working at Republic. And it's been so much fun.

It's been such a ride, but a good ride. I love the idea of, like, Macaul, you in the church choir and grace with the bad boys in high school, that fits perfectly with my mental image. It's an interesting image. I was not a good girl. But I feel like that's why I grew up so fast, you know? Okay.

It was good for me. Like, I needed to go through being a rebel and making bad choices to kind of come out, you know, a better person because I was definitely crazy back in the name. You were good. Wait, I want to clarify, is Grace Lilly like a double first name or is Lily your last name? Lily is my last name. And so when I first moved here in fifth grade, I had four graces in my class. So everyone just called me Grace Lily.

And like, I don't mind it. You know, my name is Grace. My last name's Lily. So it's Grace Elizabeth Lilly. But you can call me Grace. Grace, you can call me Grace Lily, you can call me Jew Lily, whatever you want. Okay, I'm good to get that, I'm glad to get that cleared up because I was wondering. So you both have worked at Republic for a while. How did you kind of get involved with specifically

the show coming to film? Because I, we had Leva on the show a few weeks ago when the show was premiering and she was kind of talking about the whole timeline and stuff. So how did you kind of become aware that this was happening and get, you know, make sure you got on. So yeah, so I remember, so I was working prior to knowing anything about the show. So, like, this was like two years ago around like January. I was like working here. And this process of show was happening stuff. And then Levin was kind of like, hey, like, it's a great opportunity.

Like, you know, I know about you. And like, I feel like a story we restored to share. So I was kind of like, hey, like, why not throwing myself into this lines then, you know? So it was an interesting. process, but it was not something that I was planning on doing, even though I knew it's going on, but when the opportunity came, it kind of took it by the horns. So for me, I knew about it pre-COVID. And then, you know, when COVID hit, that's when everything was on pause. And that's when Maddie and I were living in Tulum. And then I lived out there for like eight months. So I left Tulum

and came back and started working again and then did the cast interview. And obviously, I nailed it, so now I'm here. And I feel like I've been manifesting this my whole life. I've always wanted to be on TV. I feel like that's the thing. People act like it's a bad thing if you admit that you really wanted to be like on the show or you really wanted, you know, to get X, Y, Z thing. But it's like, no, like, that's, those are the people that are going to show up and really, like,

give it 100%. Yeah. I mean, I think there's nothing. I feel like, you know, reading comments and tweets. people who say, like, oh, a good paid actor, stuff like that. And, like, you know, it's not a real thing. I think the hardest part is that I think what makes our group unique is that a lot of us don't really care about the show.

As in, like, when the cameras are on, it's more of, like, that's our personal life. Like, it's like, there's drama happening after the cameras. There's drama happening today, tomorrow. So, like, it was weird. Even when we were in the process of this happening, it was like things changed between six months to a year, from two months to three months. So I think the part for it, I guess I stand at where I'm, I'm like, I really love the opportunity, but it's not, it's like, it's like, I'm great.

I'm happy I'm doing it, but I'm like, this is a lot. Like the highs are high, but the lows are very, very long. That's definitely how I felt filming. You know, you would go in really happy and sometimes leave really sad. But I think it's a very rewarding experience and being able to watch it back, you know, I've done a lot of self-reflecting and, you know, being able to see myself in a different lens than I normally can't see. So I think it's a good experience for all of us, but it's something we're all getting used to for sure.

That's different for each of us too. I think it's another thing as well. Yeah, and obviously at the beginning of the show, you both are not necessarily in the best, you know, not in Leva's good graces in terms of your employment status. So like obviously there is kind of this journey of figuring out where you're going to be. Are you going to be at Republic? Are you getting to host and stuff like that?

So it really is very up and down, it seems like. Yes. And I think going forward, maybe, maybe not. Maybe you will see, you know, me actually work. You never know. So, you know, things could get worse, so they can get better. You never know. That's why you're going to tune in.

Yeah. I mean, if you're going to work on your birthday, that's dedication. I know, because I wanted to get lit, like I said. So, you know, but I had so much fun of my birthday. I mean, that was such a special moment. And I'm so thankful that everyone got to be there. And even T.J. And, you know, even McKell, I know things didn't work out in the best, best ways.

But, you know, I was lit, like I said. You were your own world. I was just like, oh, my God. But it's crazy. I'll be able to watch that back for the rest of my life. Show my kids. I will not show you to that. Yeah.

I will not show you to that. No, no babies. Time soon, I promise. Yeah, like, it is kind of interesting to think about that all of a sudden, now that you're on this show, you're having these moments and stuff, like you said, it's your real life, your personal life. But there's the cameras there and, you know, tons of people at home are going to watch it too and be on social media and have thoughts about it. Like, I'm sure you kind of have to take that day by day the idea that suddenly your own life is like, presented like that. That's the hardest part because I've been on a platform already in the more of a Christian oral industry of things.

So I was working for a very big church. I was in a worship. So I'm like from thousands of people every Sunday. And it's like your life is from a microscope where people are like watching everything you say and do. But then now it's more of a bigger scale where it's more of like everyone, Christian, non-Christian, gay, non-gay. It's like watching your every move.

And it's hard because sometimes you want to say and do things. But it's either do I say it and then get. judge the attack for you, even though I feel like I'm right or that shut my mouth and I'm like, yes, you know, I am a bitch. I'm so sorry about that, you know. Well, you can't please everyone and I've always known that. So, you know, you can't expect everyone to love you. And I think our personalities aren't for everyone. I think it's also an awareness thing. It's just like, how this has benefited me right now. It's me, we acting or saying this going to benefit situation without or if I can just be mature and be like, all right, cool. You're right. Or ignore it.

Don't talk about it. It's what it is. I'm like. I like to interact with the positive comments. Mm-hmm. This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime Originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book-to-screen favorites you've already read twice.

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I'm curious, though, I want to get your thoughts on this situation that both of you have been having with TJ so far on the show. Because to me, just watching it, obviously, I don't know. We don't know all the backstory of everything. But it just feels like he is kind of bothered by you guys in a way that doesn't quite add up. Yeah, I completely agree. Because I didn't know T.J. personally prior to filming, you know, because the bar and the VIP is very different.

So him and I never had a real conversation until the show. So he had this pre-notion of me already from my social media and just judged me off of that and judged me off of what he had heard about me, which I thought was not, not rational in my opinion. You know, you can't like, judging a book by its cover, you know, it's just not a vibe. And that's what he did. Thank you, TJ. I don't know. Even like now where we stand is kind of just a very interesting limbo of things.

I'm like, what, if you watch the show, you hear me going, I'm like, what is your actual problem with me? What is it that I'm doing that's really making you mad? Take away the job, take away, everything else. What is your problem with me? And so there's multiple times in the episode where he's just kind of like attacking my work ethic. But in my head, I'm going, well, how? How can know my work ethic? One, I was working before he, one.

Two, you work behind the bar. I work in the front of the house. So there's no interaction. So you're taking my work ethic off of what you're assuming or also what you're hearing from the people who also don't work in the front. So a lot of his hatred and anger is literally just jealousy and assumption. I said the way, I'm not saying he's jealous from him. I'm jealous to the fact of where I'm 25 years old having the best son in my life.

You're 30 working at the bar still. So I told him there's nothing wrong with that at all. It's getting me wrong. but when it's your entire life, let people do their job. You stay in your lane, I stay in my lane. I'm not going back there saying, well, your rotating was kind of like whack.

Let's make you down. You know, like your work ethic is horrible. It's like, even like when you're, he's making drinks, it's like, where's your smile at? There's no smile there. Like, why do you have this, like, RBIF the entire time? Like, I can, like, start picking at his things.

But that's not my expertise. It's like, I am expert in this. You're expert in that. And so it's weird. And I'm glad you're seeing it's like a very, like, What is it? So imagine having to argue with somebody who literally has a problem with you, but can't even tell you, you're looking at your eye and be like, hey, so I'm saying, oh, it's like, your trash. Just say you to my face. Say it to my eye. I look at me.

Right. Like it's pretty shady. Yeah. And it's not coming from a place of like, there wasn't a disagreement that you had where then you have to go forward with that. It's just purely one-sided. Like, I've decided that I think X, XYZ about you. So you're automatically in the wrong. Like, how are you? how do you even defend that? It's like, it's hard. I think he's rejecting. Sorry.

No, I think it's hard because in my head, that's why you saw me like walking away from the table and going to the bathroom. It's more of life's getting so frustrated because I'm like, I'm trying to understand but you're making no sense to me at all whatsoever. So like, what the hell do you want me to do? And so I think the part when I say that we're threatened, I'm not seeing threatened by my job. I think he's threatened by his like space and what we're doing. right now. So imagine there is this charismatic, full of life, bubbly personality who's

also gay, but then you, but you're also gay. And that's about me. That's about you. But I'm saying, but me and his beef assing the words is like, you have someone's full personality, big bubbly, big, all his energy. And then he's also gay and divers. But then there's me who's, I'm also gay. So I'm like, I feel like you're, like you're threatened by, you're thinking that I'm here to take a spot in your life. I'm here to, like, mess up your tips at the bar. I'm here. It's like, we all have the same type of men. We don't have the same type of friends. Also style, also clothes. So we're very different in many aspects, but I don't think he sees his difference in the uniqueness of his difference. So it's kind of like, I feel bad for him. So I'm like,

you are so perfectly and wonderfully made, the most Christian thing to say. But it's like you are, like you have good attributes that someone loves, not me fully, but someone loves those attributes. So it's kind of like, what the hell? Like, why am I, like, why are you targeting me? Like, it makes no sense to me at all. T.J. is still learning to love himself. And that is where it stems down from. Yeah.

100%. Yeah. I mean, I think it's tough. And I, on the last episode, Grace, you and Emmy were talking about kind of the standards within the nightlife industry and how there is a lot of pressure to look a certain way. And it can lead to, you know, body dysmorphia and unhealthy kind of, habits like that. And I thought that was really interesting to have that conversation because that's true of so many industries that so many people are in. But the way that is in nightlife, I can imagine that it's really tough to feel comfortable. Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, I know I'm not

the only younger woman that struggles with this, you know, and it has been ongoing battle that I'm still battling with. And I think people haven't really seen that struggle, you know, in my storyline, just quite yet is enough. And, you know, I'm not perfect. And there are days where I don't feel beautiful about myself. And that's why, you know, I tell myself those positive affirmations in the mirror. And, you know, I don't want to sound like my ego when I do that. I just, you know, I have to take time to love myself, you know, it's important.

And there are so many unrealistic beauty standards nowadays that, you know, and with Instagram influencers and models, it's hard sometimes to keep up with it, you know, because it's like, oh, I want to get my boobs dumped. I don't want to get my boobs dumped. You know what I mean? Like, it's like an ongoing back. Like is this for me or it's for someone else? But I've gotten to the headspace that I am more comfortable within my body, you know, than I was during COVID.

Because that's when I was like binge eating. And like I was just all over the place. Like I hated my face. Like I cried about it every day. Like I wanted to get all this work done. And, you know, a lot of people don't know that, you know, because I only post the good things on Instagram. So, you know, I'm happy to have the opportunity to talk about it. And hopefully, you know, have people relate to.

it. So, yeah. Yeah, I think that's good to tie back also because you have been received like judgment and stuff for your social media on the show. And like obviously social media is what you choose for it to be of yourself. And that if you're judging somebody just based on what they're posting on Instagram without actually like you said, you didn't really know TJ personally at all, that it's like, yeah, like you don't, you don't know me. Yeah. It's unfortunate. But, you know, I'm going to keep my head up high and, you know, just try to work at Republic and do my job and mind my business. And, you know, I have been reframing from posting so many bikini booty picks. I mean, it's the winter.

So I'm not tan anyways. But, you know, like, I because I don't want people just to think I'm a body. I'm so much more than just a good body or whatever, you know, people want to put me in a category as. Because I have so much more depth to me than I think people. have been able to see. So yeah. Yeah, I want to hear about your, your relationship with Maddie a little more. Because you mentioned during COVID times when you were living in Tulum together.

And then obviously things at some point kind of hit a rocky patch between you two. Where do you kind of stand on the, when you were filming the show? Like what had kind of gone down to get to the point that you were at? Good question. You know, I think that Maddie. and I, you know, had our falling out because of difference of opinions. You know, we were both growing and both learning. I will admit that I was immature during that time, you know, I was struggling with my own issues and stuff. So I was, you know, upset with certain things with her. And we never actually had a one-on-one sit-down conversation about it.

So since I was back from Tulum for about a year, we never had that one-on-one until the camera sat us down. So that really was our first one-on-one. And it was actually really helpful and I'm really glad that we got to sit down and talk about, you know, everything that happened. And I'm kind of glad that we waited because we had time to process things and, you know, really be able to express ourselves in a mature way and be able to find common ground. So I'm happy that things are good between us now. And, you know, there doesn't need to be a team, Maddie, team grace, because we're team republic, you know? But yes, because I don't want beef with Nani. I don't want a problem with her.

You know, she was really a great friend to me. And she was there for me when I needed her. And, you know, I think we both had done wrong to one another. But it was never anything that was detrimental to their friendship. Yeah, I think with like what you were saying, the fact that you were both growing and that you had both kind of done things to each other, it's like you, you start to realize as you get a little bit older, that if there's somebody who is a person who is a person who. really cares about you and is like somebody you want to have around, some of the other stuff starts to matter less. Absolutely.

Yeah. Because, you know, I look back at that time I lived in Tulum and I don't feel like I'm the same person at all. You know, I really have grown in so many different ways and in good ways, you know, and every day I try to better myself and be a better person and just express gratitude for the things that I have and my family and my friends. And, you know, I just stay humble and I don't react like I used to. I used to react to things.

When they upset me, I would, you know, say mean things. And so I haven't done that as much as I used to. I'm more like easy-minded, level-headed now. And I used to not be that way. So, you know, even she said that, even that, he's like, I've definitely seen the change in you. And I'm so happy that she sees that because, you know, I want to be as nice as possible. Totally. And I said, I need to be mean.

It just depends, you know, like little jabs, little jabs, but no jabs to Maddie, no jabs. You got to keep it a little spicy sometimes, but it has to come from a good place. Yes, you have to really mean it. And like what I said with TJ, that conversation, you know, I was annoyed with him. I was like, you're just trying to dull my shine and my sparkle. And you have no factual reason not to like me. So, you know, I think I handled that conversation great. What's the difference between butter and butter made from real California dairy?

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Was it tough for you? Did you feel like you were kind of in the middle when they weren't on such good terms? Not really because I don't, I'm such a, your problem is your, like, I'm not hopping into your issue. I'm not picking sides. I'm picking a beef because honestly, my relationship with Maddie is different relationship with Grace. And so I told her, I was like, do what you got to do. Like, this is not how I love you and somehow I see you. But as long as like no shady crap happening, I think, I'm just kind of like,

me and Maddie have a very different relationship. And it's just like choosing to lose. I was working with Maddie and stuff like that. And so it's kind of like I'm at his house every day. Like we talk every day. We face them every day and stuff like that. So it's just like it was great. So it's like here is history that has like a foundation.

There's also here it's current and intimate like intimate relationship right now. And so there's nothing for me to choose from. They both have the best people to work. world. So I'm like, do what you got to do? I'm fine. Y'all, y'all can hate each other. Y'all be sure if you want. We're more fun altogether. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who's, it's like, I think it's weird when people, if your, if your friend's mad with your, if you're, if you're a friend and you're, you hate someone else, you want your friends to hate that person to you. I think that's the most selfish, shady, hurtful thing you can ever do. So why would you want someone to pick a side?

So it's like, no, we're grown as adults. Like, I'm not, it's a lot. I'm not, it's like work your crap out and if you can't work it out well yeah i respect you for that in keemicoe you're welcome yeah it's it's been a little tough so far in the show watching joe bradley uh with his feelings for mattie uh not going so well what what what are your thoughts about that kind of side of things do you really want to i i i i ask like you go first you yeah good for bravo please don't fire me Okay. But here and here, and if you paint the picture, here's how it goes. Maddie and Trevor, the shit happened.

It happened. You know, so you have all this time to make a move, make it very, very known. But you wait until this guy comes back. You wait until everyone's back on good terms. You wait to do that. I think it's messy. I think it's very, very. very selfish of him.

If you're just saying this is your best friend, why would you put your friend in situation that where she will have to choose when she's telling you how she feels about something already? So I feel like Maddie's giving the statements and saying, like, here's where we stand. You're my friend. You're my business partner. He's choosing not to accept those statements.

He's choosing to ignore those statements. So now you're getting upset and heard off of your own interpretation, your own reality of what you're creating in your head. So I think something, we tend to like have our hopes, our plans, our checkboxes and when it's and work out, we blame the other person. But it's like, no, did they not take accountability? It's like, did she say this? Does she say this to you or not? Is this your imagination or is it her? It's like, you have to see like, okay, maybe it's just me wanting this. And it's okay,

it's okay for you to want something, but be also content with it not happening. So. And also respect someone that you care about. Yeah, it's like, it's like, I, I, I, It pissed me off. I'm just like, if you're her so-called best friend, I would never put my friend's situation where I'm like, by the way, I want you to pick and choose this now. Like, go like that. Like between Maddie and you and Maddie.

And I think as, you know, the season moves forward, you guys will see a little bit more. So you definitely have to tune in. Totally. I will be tuning in. Before we finish up, Grace, I want, Can you describe for me what you mean when you say wavy? Okay.

Yes. Okay. So I've had a song out for, gosh, probably two, three years now. It's on SoundCloud. It's on Apple Music. It's on Spotify. It's on all platforms. It's called wavy baby.

W-A-B-Y-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-E-L-E-Ly. Wavey Baby, G-Lily vibes. And it's a song that I made with a guy that I was, you know, hooking up with or whatever. He's more of a rebound. And we were having fun. And I just wrote the lyrics. And it's a house track. So it's, it's fun. It's dance vibes. And it just makes you want to go to the beach and get wabby, baby. And it's like, it's very vibey. So. Okay. Okay. Does, does Leva ever let you play, uh, play your song at Republic? Yes, definitely. We played it a few times with day club on Sundays. And, you know, she's full supportive. And I'm working on new music right now. So.

Amazing. And I'm working on my fashion line too. My website's going to be dropping soon. I love the plugging. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Look, drop whatever you got to drop. I do love seeing Leva's relationship with you guys because you can tell even when things are not necessarily on the best terms that she does care about you guys that work for her and she wants the best. And it's just it's nice to see. Yeah. For sure. For sure. I love it. It's been an interesting journey for sure.

But I think it's great to have somebody that wants the best for you, even if you don't see the best in yourself. I think that's a part of people that you don't see with Lava. Because we had a meeting not so long ago. And I remember Lamar Levin said, come to me, come to me, you know. But like, and it was like, you know, something's going on the workplace. Come to me. He stopped. He says, but I wish you guys to think about it in this way as well.

He said, if you need advice of life, how to get a house, how to buy a car, how to start a business. Do you don't really get that from most bosses? where like, here's my number. If you're going through it today, give me a call. I'm not only here she's just invest in to you, financially, invests into you, like, life, love, growth-wise. So I think that's the part that people aren't seeing. I think even with love is, like, watching Southern Char,

people see her trying to, like, mend things together and calling things out. But the part they also don't see is where she's like, her heart's pure. She's doing everything with good intentions and stuff. And so I love seeing how she challenged me in ways where I'm like, I couldn't see the beauty in, like, the mess. but I was like, oh, like, wow. So here comes to crap, and the answer is really beautiful.

So I'm like, yeah, it's a very interesting. I mean, I love them both of that, honestly. So, yeah. Same. I agree with that. I love that. Before we go, for the rest of the season, is there anything that you're, like, most excited to see again

or, like, for the people to see that you did during the season? Honestly, this is, like, a very shady thing to say. But in the clip, there's me making up this guy, and I want him. in this current relationship, the TV making out with him so that they know that he was not doing good things

in Charleston. Okay, okay, Grace, what about you? When I saw the next episode preview about NASCAR, I actually thought it was the funniest thing when I asked the driver, you want a shot? I was like, you want a shot? You want to drink?

And he's like, I got to drive. And I was like, okay, after, I don't know. So I'm excited to see NASCAR and stuff. So that was really fun. Amazing. Well, I can't wait to watch it. I know everybody else is enjoying it too. And thank you guys so much for chatting with me today.

Thank you. We'll see you. That was so much fun. That's Monday at 9 p.m. Of course. Of course. Thanks, guys. Bye everyone.

And thank you everyone for listening. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow the show wherever you listen. You can follow us on Instagram at Bravo by Betches. And until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mention It All is produced by Dylan Hafer, Sean Kilby, Jorge Moreell. Peechow and Rebecca Sousmaqat. Editing by Jorge Morales Pico.

Social media by Dylan Hafer. Guest booking by Dylan Hafer and Ali Friedlander. Be sure to follow at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter. Betches.