Mention It All - Cracking The Kathryn Code Ft. Venita Aspen
Episode Date: July 13, 2022Dylan sits down with Southern Charm star Venita Aspen, and they get into all the drama on the new season. Venita discusses what it was like to join the show amid the chaos of 2020, and who was (surpri...singly) the most welcoming. They talk about the enigma that is Kathryn Dennis, and why the breakup with Chleb made Venita sad. They also discuss Venita’s love of Bravo, and whether doing reality TV has made it harder to watch her favorite shows. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Mention It All.
A Bravo by Betcha's podcast.
We don't say that, but now we said it.
With Dylan Hafer.
We'll go check me, Bill.
Hey, everyone.
Welcome back to the Mention at All podcast.
I'm Dylan Hafer, and today I am very excited to be joined by one of my favorite new cast members on Southern Charm.
Please welcome Vanita Aspen.
Hey, Vanita.
Hello.
How you doing?
I am doing great.
I'm very happy to have you on the show today.
I am loving what you're bringing to the show last season, this season.
Glad we're seeing more of you and glad to get to talk.
Thank you.
I'm excited.
I want to hear what it's been like this year coming back to the show after we got to
meet you a little bit last season.
What's it feel like to be back in full-time on the show this year?
It's definitely rewarding to come back this year as a full-time cast member.
I feel like last year everyone got to see me, but they didn't really get to experience me.
really excited to be able to allow people to experience me and who I am this season.
Yeah, I imagine when you came on the show, you were filming in 2020.
It was a really tumultuous time in the world, in the Southern Charm cast.
There was a lot going on.
What was that experience like of coming on the show when you did?
It was kind of like not like thrown into the mix, but it was just kind of like I had to
adjust very quickly to everything that was going on.
And like, I had to like kind of catch myself up to speed and be aware of all of the things
that were happening around me like super quick.
Whereas this year, I feel like I can kind of walk through things.
I can make my own decisions.
I can set the standard where I had to like walk into what the standard was last year.
Yeah.
I imagine it's tough on a show like Southern Charm where, you know, there's these storylines
and relationships that go back.
you know, seven, eight years now.
And so some of the people you know before the show,
but if you're coming on and being like,
okay, so what's going on between them two?
And it's like six years of background.
I felt like in some moments,
I was like in the background last season,
like trying to put the pieces together.
Like I would see people arguing.
And I'm like, okay, so they are arguing
because this is going on and that's going on.
And like, okay, got it.
Like, lots of learning.
Yeah.
I know that you're a Bravo fan in general,
but how much Southern Charm had you watched before coming on the show?
So I pretty much watched every season.
I actually used to work with Landon.
So, like, I was pretty in tune to what was going on.
I think I stopped watching it at season five.
Okay.
So you had taken, like, a little bit of a breather.
Hiatus, yeah.
Do you still keep in touch with Landon?
I do.
Landon actually helped me plan the watch party that I threw a couple weeks ago for the show launch.
She's great.
Do you think she would ever come back to the show or has that ship sailed for her?
I think she's done.
I think she likes the idea of maybe coming back, but I don't think she'd actually do it.
I feel like when you've been on a show like that for years in the past, it's like you've been through the ringer.
Yeah.
You've put in your time.
Yeah.
Like she's done it, you know?
Like she's done it.
And I think she...
gets a lot of joy with, you know, us being such close friends and kind of like still kind of
getting best of both worlds, you know, but like not being directly involved.
Totally. I loved seeing last season when you came on, it felt like you and Leva were really able
to kind of lean on each other and you, like, you were a good sort of support system for each other.
What was, what was her friendship like when you came on to the show?
For this season, it was kind of pretty much the same. Like, she was very supportive, very welcoming.
Like, she'd helped me walk through things.
Um, you know, it's just, our relationship has kind of always been like pretty steady.
And, you know, she just kind of kept up with that.
Yeah.
And then obviously last season, when you first came on the show, Naomi wasn't around, but this
year she's back.
And it seems like you guys, tell me about how long have you known each other.
What's the background there?
Naomi and I actually used to go to high school together.
So she was one grade above me in high school.
So I've known Naomi, but at least for 10 years.
So it was kind of nice to actually be able to film with her and like the show our friendship
on camera because I didn't really get to do that last season because she wasn't on it.
But she's great to have around.
Yeah.
It's been it's been nice seeing her back.
I mean, obviously she really went through it with her relationship and everything that happened in New York.
But Naomi back on the show, like it feels it feels kind of right.
Yeah, like Naomi belongs on the show.
And it was kind of like weird.
It felt like something was missing last season.
and I think what was missing was the fact that Naomi wasn't on the show.
So it was nice to have her back.
Totally.
It's been interesting to see her navigate all of the dynamics with Craig.
Obviously, everyone is talking about that.
What was your, did you know about like this whole Vegas situation going into filming?
Or were you just kind of like whatever happens?
No.
So like, I saw that as the world was seeing it.
So I was just like, oh, so that's what happened.
I was just like, okay.
Like maybe not the best stuff.
idea, but, you know, we all make mistakes with our exes.
Totally.
I imagine that when you're on the show and then you watch kind of like other people's scenes,
there are some moments where you're like, okay, now I get why she was acting like this
because this scene happened and I wasn't there for that.
Like, putting the pieces together.
It all starts to make sense.
You're like, oh, okay.
So like you were acting weird this day because you just filmed that three days ago and I had
no idea, but now I know.
So it makes sense.
Now that you've been on.
a show like this, watching other reality TV, does it make it harder for you to like understand
or are you kind of like, oh, I get what she's going through?
No, now I'm like, I feel like my view now is like completely different.
At first I was like, I didn't really understand like the background and the questions and
the filming side of it.
And now when I'm watching reality TV, I'm like, okay, like I get why she's acting the way
she's acting now or like this is coming across that way.
I definitely like side more with the people.
people than I used to.
Yeah.
I mean, I think the more, the more you watch and the more you understand, it's like, obviously
people are going through all sorts of different experiences and maybe they make different
choices than you would in that scenario.
But, you know, everybody, whether you're on TV or not, has a rationale for doing, you know,
what they do.
What they're doing.
Yeah.
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What are some of your favorite Bravo shows to watch? Are you keeping up with anything right now?
Yes, I love the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Poor charade.
Like, she deserves better.
I'm trying to think.
Atlanta is really good.
Married in Medicine is one of my favorites.
I'm excited for Potomac to come back.
Like, I watched them all.
I love Dubai.
Even though I've missed the last couple of episodes,
but, like, live for Miami.
I mean, I love them all.
Like I think the only ones I don't really watch religiously is what Orange County.
I keep up with Beverly Hills, but I don't watch it as much as I watch the other ones.
And I'm Salt Lake City.
Maybe you'll have to do a collaboration with She by Cheret.
You can do a little.
Like I need Shire to let me model for her collection.
Like, girl call me like I'm here.
I'm available.
I'm ready.
Totally.
I think it's been fun.
these first few episodes of the season to get to see a little bit more of your career side of
things, what you do as an influencer?
Like, what were you excited to show this season, knowing that you were going to have a little
bit more, you know, time to do that on camera?
I was excited to show that, like, being an influencer isn't just taking your iPhone and
taking a photo of a product and being like, oh, look, this is what I'm showcasing today.
Like, there's so much more that goes into the behind-the-scenes work of, like, that little
square image that you see on Instagram.
And I was really excited to be able to show that and bring that perspective because I feel
like you don't really get to see that a lot.
Like, unless you're an influencer, you don't know what it looks like.
Totally.
Do you think that's something where you, you know, you came on the show last season.
Obviously, a lot of people, you know, found out about you for the first time on the show.
But do you feel like there's an audience of people who knew you from your, from your social media
and that kind of stuff that now are learning about the show because of that.
Yeah.
So there's definitely like, I can probably divide my followers like in half and like one half
knew me before I started filming and the other half is they only knew, they only know me from
the show.
So it's pretty interesting to see.
And like, you know, I get DMs every day of people being like, oh my God.
Like I remember when I started following you like seven years ago and it's so crazy to see
how much you've grown and like now you're on TV.
like, you know, having support is like that is really cool.
Yeah.
And I'm sure it makes it takes a little bit of the pressure off when you're filming that it's like you have this other community.
It's not like all of these people.
If you left the show or something are going to be like, oh, I don't care about this girl anymore.
Yeah.
Like I'll still have my core audience if I were to ever like leave or step away because I built that before I even came onto the show.
Totally.
Speaking of coming onto the show, I'm curious.
Obviously we know some of the people that you were close to.
with before, but who did you feel like was kind of the most welcoming or was there anybody that
really stuck out to you as like making you feel like you were a part of the group?
Craig was definitely the most welcoming out of the group, for me at least. Between him and Madison,
which that relationship happened way before cameras were rolling. But like, Craig was just very welcoming,
walked me through things, but answer questions if I had them, like kind of showed me the ropes.
So it was really refreshing to have him on my side.
it's nice to hear because I think sometimes the like the Southern Charm guys get kind of like a bad rep obviously they can you know they have their moments and stuff but like it's nice to know that in a situation like that like maybe like when the cameras aren't rolling or something like you you felt like you kind of had that like shoulder to lean on a little bit yeah yeah yeah it was really refreshing because I don't know who I expected it to come from but I don't think I was expecting it to come from Craig so it's just really refreshing to like see.
that and like those boys, they're, you know, pretty catty. They like to talk a lot of drama. So like,
I just, I had no idea was going to come from him, but it was refreshing. Totally. And I mean,
thinking like how long, how long they've been doing this now. It really is like a, you know,
it's a different experience. It's not just being friends with people. It's this, this back and forth.
I talked to Shep and Craig a few weeks ago and they were talking about how part of what makes Southern
Charm work so well is that they understand, you know, the part of the job that is the film
and the cattyness, but also they care about each other.
And it's, it's deeper than just the camera's rolling.
So it's nice to hear that even as someone new coming into the group,
you were kind of extended that same graciousness.
Yeah.
And I was pretty, I was pretty nervous.
Like, you know, I'm walking into this season as, like,
one of the many newbies that are coming on and, like, everyone that has been filming.
I mean, they've been filming the show since the very beginning.
So I was just, like, you know, how welcoming is everybody going to be?
Like, are they going to, like, push me in my own little cool?
corner, are they not going to want to talk to me, or they're not going to want to film,
but, like, everyone was pretty, like, eager to get to know me and film with me, so it was
great.
That's amazing.
I want to talk about Catherine a little bit, because Catherine, having watched the show for
so long, still seems sort of, like, an enigma.
Like, you can never quite, like, get to the bottom of, like, what's going on with
Catherine, Dennis?
And I'm curious, like, what your experience has been, like, obviously, we've seen you have
some ups and downs with her.
But what is it, like, kind of just being in her?
orbit a little bit. Like how do you handle that?
I really feel like I haven't had the opportunity to be in her orbit because anytime I am
around her, it's like a whole group of people. Like we haven't really had many like one-on-one
moments. And, you know, I think that she's like even on the, I think it was like what, episode
one. Like she was very welcoming, very like refreshing, like didn't have any issues. And I was like,
okay, this is great.
Like, this is going to go well.
But, you know, it's Catherine's way or the highway, honestly.
Mm-hmm.
Well, yeah, I mean, going back to last season, when after she had had the, you know,
the Instagram stuff go down, like Leva was, you know, trying to give her the benefit of
the doubt and she was kind of MIA.
Like, she's just a hard person to really sort of get a hold of it.
It seems like sometimes she puts a distance there, whether it's on purpose.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I also walked in trying to, you know, give her the benefit of the doubt because, you know, the girl's been through a lot.
You know, she's had her entire life on TV since she was, what, 21?
Like, I couldn't imagine being in her shoes and, like, growing up in front of the entire world, you know, so try to give her the benefit and doubts and when moments get hard and when things go bad to remember that, like, the girl has been through a lot, you know?
Yeah.
With the season premiere when it was her 30th birthday, I was like, damn, she's just now 30.
Like, we've seen her go through so much.
Like, y'all have watched her,
you all have watched her, including myself when I used to watch it.
Like, we've watched her grow up.
Totally.
When we found out that Caleb was going to be coming onto the show this season,
I think, I assumed, I think other people assumed that they were going to be more of a unit throughout the season.
Obviously, we've already seen that sort of reach a chaotic climax.
What was it like during filming when you found out that they had broken up?
Like, were you shocked by that or did you kind of see it coming?
You know, I was pretty sad, honestly, because like, Caleb really loved Catherine.
So it was sad for me to see that, like, they couldn't come to a common ground, you know?
Like, they just seemed so happy together.
Even like, what was it?
Last season, they weren't together on camera, but they weren't together off camera.
So it was just like, okay, like, this is good.
Like, Catherine's found her person.
and Caleb really makes her happy.
Like, this is going to be something good.
So I was pretty sad to see that they didn't work out.
Yeah.
I think that was the surprising thing as a viewer because we had heard so much about how great
this relationship was.
And then by the time cameras were up for this season, clearly it was.
Like, y'all got the tail end of their relationship.
Right.
I'm like, but he seems so nice.
And she, I don't know what's happening.
Yeah.
He's super nice.
Like, he's so sweet.
He's such a gentleman, like, you know, really, at least from the outside of the
looking in really seemed to put her on this like really high pedestal and like I just think that
he wasn't able to handle the emotions that he had towards her and then also take on what she was
bringing to the table at the same time. Well yeah I mean obviously it's tough she has two kids that
are always going to be the priority there's been all the custody stuff with you know Thomas is just
like a whole other situation yeah. It's a whole other situation yeah I mean being in a relationship
with Catherine Dennis is never going to be the
the most casual thing in the world.
No, but he, you know, he took it on
and he was just like, this is what I'm,
I know what I'm signing up for and I'm just going to
like do what I can and like be the best version of myself
with her, but it just still didn't work out.
That scene, watching the scene of their,
their breakup though was really tough.
I imagine knowing them personally,
it must be a little strange to watch the episode
and be like inside the apartment.
you're like, oh, like, just get out of there.
Like, I don't want to see this.
Yeah, that was hard to watch.
That was really hard to watch because, you know, you're not there when things like that
are being films.
They're seeing it for the first time with everybody else.
And it was just like, wow, this is really sad.
Like, someone needs to leave this room right now before everyone breaks down in tears.
Like, totally.
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Adjacent to Catherine, she wasn't there, but she was a major topic of conversation at Naomi's
welcome back housewarming, whatever it was, party.
Yeah.
Mainly because Olivia kind of took up for her and was.
you know, kind of championing Catherine.
Was that surprising to you?
Did you know that they were friends like that?
Or did you know Olivia much at all?
It was hard for me to kind of figure out what was going on there.
No.
So I hadn't really like experienced Olivia in that moment.
I think the first time I met her was at Catherine's birthday party.
And I didn't know how close of friends they actually were,
which kind of caught me off guard when she was coming to her defense because it just felt
like I know what you're trying to do, but it seemed like she was defiant.
something that she didn't know anything about because she was so new to the situation.
So it was just like, you know, take a step back and like be open to other people's opinions
and like don't shut anyone else down when they're trying to like voice your opinion with you.
Yeah, definitely as a viewer, it felt like that because it's, I think it is hard.
And obviously you've experienced this coming on to this show for the first time.
You want to get in the mix.
You want to be involved in things.
But at the same time, there is an element of like, okay, like,
like, wait your turn.
Like we've, this is kind of had to be careful.
Right.
And it's like this is part of an ongoing conversation.
And so if you don't have all the backstory, it can, you can kind of look like a fool if you go in there and are going too hard.
But. Yeah, I noticed you pretty quickly decided to smooth things over with her.
You didn't want her to feel ganged up on.
What made you do that in the moment at the party?
basically because I was her last season.
So it's like you want to try and get in and like have the conversations that you think you are so fully aware of and that you know about.
And like you really don't know anything about them.
And then like people are saying things to you and they're attacking you on camera, off camera.
And then it's like the only thing you want after a moment like that is for someone to come up and say, you know what?
I'm sorry for what was said.
Like your opinion does matter.
And like I'm, you know, you shouldn't have felt ganged up on.
So I felt the need to go and apologize to her and make sure that.
that she understood that that was not anyone's intent, at least not my intent.
Yeah.
And I guess, like you said, if the first time you met her was at Catherine's party, then it's
like you have plenty of time to figure out whether or not she's really your cup of tea
in the future.
But like we don't need to have like a grudge going forward from this one moment.
Yeah, no.
I did.
Like I mean not do that.
I did like seeing at that party, Madison seems to really have.
kind of put Austin in the past this season. And it's fun to watch. Thank God. Thank God.
It's fun to watch Madison kind of, it feels like the weight of that relationship has been
lifted off her shoulders. Lifted from everyone's shoulders. Everyone is feeling light and airing.
We're happy and you can walk around and not be sad and worry about it. They're going to start
fighting. It's such a joyous occasion that we can all be in one room and not have to look to
the left and see them bickering. Oh my God. Absolutely. I can only imagine. But being
friends with Madison. I'm sure that it's fun for you to see the side of her that's like,
you know, she's having fun. She's in this new relationship. She's, you know,
just feeling more positive all around. Yeah. It's good to see. And like,
I'm never going to forget what she first told me about Brett. And like in my head, I was like,
okay, this sounds, this sounds pretty good. This sounds pretty good. And then like, I got the
FaceTime call. What was that in like October? And like, I answer it. And she's like this.
And I was like, oh, like, I was just like, oh, my.
God, like, this is really happening.
Like, they're really going to do it.
Like, the way she talks about this man, I knew it was going to happen.
But I just didn't know it's going to happen so quickly.
So you...
But hey, love has no bounds.
So you knew about the engagement before the Amazon Live.
Oh, absolutely.
Did, do you think there was...
How long was the list of people who knew before the Amazon Live were...
I don't think it was that long.
I would say, like, maybe like seven people knew.
knew. Like, she kept it really tight. Like, she really only told people that, like, she cared about
and people that she knew wouldn't run and tell everybody else. So she could keep it a surprise
and, like, announce it when she was ready to announce it. I think that's fun. I feel like,
obviously, Austin, that relationship with Austin kind of put both of them through the ringer for
a few years at least. So it's like, I don't, I'm like, live your best life. I don't care.
Yeah. Like, do what you do. Like, do what you want to do. Like, live your life. Like, take your, like,
Like, just enjoy it.
Like, enjoy this moment, you know.
Totally.
I also love to see how much Patricia loves Madison.
I see her in these Instagram comment sections.
She'll be, like, coming to Madison's defense.
And I'm like, God bless Patricia out here.
They've been, they've been, like, tight for, I don't know, 12 years.
I think Madison started doing Patricia's hair when she was, like, 18 or something like that.
Like, they are just, like, thick as thieves.
Were you, had you spent any time around Patricia before coming on the show?
Just a little bit, like not a lot.
But now I feel like, I want to say I almost see Patricia as much as Madison
Caesar at this point, which is kind of fun.
And she was another person that was just so welcoming.
Like, she was excited to have me on.
She was like, I'm so excited for you.
This is going to be so good.
Like, you're going to bring so much to the show.
So she is, Patricia is something else.
We need work.
She needs to have a little more screen time.
Patricia has always obviously been such a special part of the show.
I feel like coming into it, though, it must feel a little weird at the beginning that it's like, okay, so there's all of us that are in our like 20s and 30s mostly.
And then we've got to go talk about the drama to this like older woman in her mansion.
Yeah, like literally, we literally walk up to this grand mansion and we're like,
hi, we're here to spill the tea.
Are you ready?
She's like, hold on, we need champagne.
You know what?
Like, she doesn't feel like, she doesn't feel older.
Does that make sense?
Like, you just feel like you're talking to one of your girlfriends.
Like, you forget that like she's so established and she's done so many things in her lifetime.
And like, because she's just, she's a character.
Totally.
I was at BravoCon in 2019.
and she was one of the biggest celebrities there.
Like out of all the housewives and all the, you know, whoever, like, everybody was losing
their minds if they saw Miss Patricia.
Like everyone wants to be Patricia.
Like you want the lifestyle she has.
You want the house.
You want the closet.
The cars.
Like you just want it.
Like the class.
You want it all from her.
Totally.
So you were not at the Southern Charm reunion last season.
in, but I was not.
I imagine that you will be getting an invite this year.
Is that something that feels exciting to you?
Are you nervous about the idea of a reunion?
How do you approach that?
I'm nervous and I'm excited.
Going based off of last year's reunion and, you know,
how you think everyone's so cool with you until you sit down on that couch and
they're like, actually, let me tell you I really feel about you and what happened this season.
So, you know, I'll come fully loaded.
ready to go for sure.
Well, I don't know if it could get more intense than last season's Southern Charm reunion.
There were receipts.
That was a dumpster fire of a reunion in the best way possible.
I mean, there was things coming from here, here, here.
I mean, like, I was, like, sitting on the edge of my seat.
Like, I wasn't, like, involved from a distance with what was going on.
I was just like, is this really happening right now?
Maybe it was for, maybe you're like, I'm glad I wasn't in that many episodes this season.
I was so blessed.
I said, you know what?
I did not need to be here on this couch because I would have been sitting there like,
like, is this real?
Yeah.
The reunion is a blessing and a curse because obviously it's a chance to get out there
and say your peace, but also like, ooh, you better watch out.
And like, as a Bravo fan, like, I have seen some reunions, okay?
And I'm just like, whoo.
I think I might have to take like a couple weeks off before the reunion happens.
Right.
Long vacation before and after.
And after.
Like, log off before and log off after because there is no way.
I've talked to a lot of, you know, Housewives, Bravo, liberties.
And they, people have different feelings about the reunion.
Some people love it.
They're like, oh, yeah, like, I just roll up.
I'm ready.
I'm good.
And some people, like, it's the worst day of their lives every year.
And they're like, I just.
I just can't.
Oh my God.
You can aim for somewhere in the middle.
Yeah, that's the goal.
Like, I kind of want to be somewhere in the middle.
Like, I don't want to love it so much that I'm, like, overly excited to come back.
But, like, I also don't want to hate it to the point that I don't want to come back.
So somewhere in the middle would be great.
Exactly.
Is there anything still coming up this season that you're really excited for people to see or maybe sort of dreading people to see?
Is there a moment in the season that you, like, keep thinking about?
No, but I'm really excited for people to be.
meet my mother. If you were to like make a mini version of my mom, it would obviously be me.
Like my mom is just so fun and like she came with so much knowledge this season and like,
you know, she's really helped mold me to be who I am today. So like I'm just excited for everyone
else to get to experience Ms. Spy. That's amazing. You know, Bravo fans love a mom.
Right. Like, and I'm, I love a mom on Bravo as well. So I'm like, mom, like, you get to be the next
Bravo, Mom, like, are you excited?
You're like, play your cards, right?
You could get a spin-off.
I'm like, don't say anything you shouldn't.
You're like, the people on Twitter will be watching vigilantly.
Literally, I was like, mom, please don't make it to where these people say anything about you on Twitter because I will not be able to handle it.
I, like, might lose my job.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, it's like, you can say what you want about me, but like, don't be snarky to my mom.
Yeah, no, it's not going to fly at all.
Oh, well, Vanita, this has been so fun.
Thank you so much for talking to me.
And everybody go watch Southern Charm on Thursdays on Bravo.
Thursdays at 9.
Please tune in.
Amazing.
Thank you, Vanita.
You're welcome.
Thank you so much for having me, Dylan.
Thank you so much for listening.
Don't forget to rate, review, and follow the show wherever you listen.
You can follow us on Instagram at Bravo by Betches.
And until next time, be cool.
Don't be all like uncool.
Mention It All is produced by Sean Kilby and Jorge Morales Pico.
Editing by Sean Kilby.
Social media by Dylan Hafer.
Guest Booking by Nicole Pellegrino.
Be sure to follow at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter.
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