Mention It All - Divorce, Drama, & Doing It All On RHOBH Ft. Dorit Kemsley

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

On this Tuesday episode, Dylan sits down with Dorit Kemsley from RHOBH to discuss her new memoir, "Unburdened", and the personal journey behind being a newly single mom. Dorit opens up about navigating life after her split from PK, why RHOBH forced her to rediscover her voice, and the lessons she's learned from nearly a decade on the show. She also reflects on motherhood, friendship, finding support in unexpected places, and why she's embracing this next chapter with a renewed sense of freedom. Plus, Dorit shares why New York will always feel like home, how writing the book became a cathartic experience, and why she almost left the show after her first season. Go to the BravoByBetches YouTube page to watch full length episodes every Tuesday & Friday: Youtube.com/@BravoByBetches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome back to the Mention It All podcast. I am so excited to be here today with someone you know from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She is a woman of the world. and now she is an author, Doreet Kemsley. Your new book is out now on Burden. Thank you. And welcome to the show. How are you?

Thank you. You know, you're the first one, and you're probably my fifth interview today, but the first one that has introduced me as an author. I'm a published author. Well, it's a fact. It's a fact. I know. The book's right here.

I read it. I know. It's just, you know, you're hearing it for the first time. Yeah. It's just really, really incredible. I'm curious for you, what is it like? It's been a long process of knowing that you are going to, going to do the book. Obviously, we've seen on the show a little bit of the process and, you know,

doing the cover shoot and all of that. What is it like now that it's a real book? It's out there in the world. People are getting their pre-orders. People can buy it at stores. What does it feel like to know that the thing that you worked on is like in the world now? It's the most incredible feeling. It's really, it's surreal and so exciting. It's only. It's only, it's almost. It's almost. It's a almost hard to put into words because I feel like, just much like you said, you know, there was the anticipation, the process. First, you know, it was signing with the publishers and then the undertaking. And then it's figuring out, how exactly do I want to start? What do I want to put in there? Then you get into the chapters. Then you're going deep and you're going deeper.

And there's reflection. And you're living with all of these memories. But in in such a different way than you've ever thought of them before. Much more detailed. And then you feel like you put your heart and soul into these pages. And then, of course, you're worried. Wait a minute. Well, now that I've done that, how is it going to be received? But to finally arrive to the pub date, because that's the lingo.

I love it. To my pub date, it feels so exhilarating. It's so exciting. It's so emotional. But at the same time, I just feel so proud. And I also feel like it's the beginning of a much more beautiful chapter. I'm curious for you how many people in your life have read the book or have been shown parts of the book prior to this? Or are you like everybody could just read it when it's out?

How did you kind of navigate that? Well, you know, listen, everything is under embargo. So I really can't share it with people. So nobody has actually read it unless I was doing an interview and the publisher sent them. So really, as of today, people, everybody can read it. And I mean, everybody. And there were some doubters. There were, you know, not everybody was 100% supportive of this project.

So now you get to say, here, it's at Barnes & Noble. Oh, yeah. Well, it's more than Barnes & Noble. It's available anywhere. you buy books. There's an audio book, which I narrated it. That was a really fun experience. Yeah. Really fun. Yeah, e-book, Kindle, you name it. It's out there. It's global. I wonder, so it's been about a month since your season of Housewives finished airing with the reunion and everything. Yes. And so normally I would imagine during this time, you know,

you haven't picked up filming yet. Maybe you have some time to kind of decompress, you know, recover, let the chatter die down. How different has it been this year, knowing that you have this big personal milestone with the book coming out versus a normal kind of off season for you? Well, definitely different in the sense that there was a lot of preparation

and a lot leading up to the publishing date. So I was busy, luckily. It was a really challenging season and challenging reunion. I was happy to see back of season 15. So I'm enjoying the time post-season. Don't forget, you know, we live through it twice. Right. Because we actually live it and then you live through it again when it airs and, you know, the judgment and opinions of everybody. And I personally had a difficult season,

you know, both in my personal life and then also on the show, you know, with some of the ladies. So it was nice to have this really rewarding. experience to step into after such a difficult season. So I'm very grateful for that as well. Yeah, that makes sense because I think, you know, and you write about this in the book for certain, you know, after your first season, after some particularly challenging, you know, situations and things that like it's challenging to navigate the two sides of this thing happening on camera that's very heightened and everybody in the world can have an opinion about. I mean, we just talked about people from Australia coming to your...

book events. Like, it really is every, all over the world, people are thinking and talking and dissecting. Yes. Versus then when the cameras leave and it's you and your kids and your family and kind of balancing those two, I imagine, can be like a little bit of just like a mental chaos. I'll tell you. I learned, I would say, really my third or fourth year is when I started to settle into going from a private person to a public person. Because prior to that, I did find it difficult to navigate. However, for me, it's always me and the kids. So whatever happens, whatever's being talked about online, whatever,

I don't invest too much of my time, my energy. I really don't. And that's how you can navigate this world and stay healthy and stay grounded. And for me in particular, and I tell all the ladies this, especially if there's a lot of negativity, don't read it. Don't read it. It's something that can suck you in, I get it, but it's also, it's a very fickle world, you know, and you can be loved one second and hated the next and, you know, that process. But what's real and what's constant are my children and my friends. and, you know, life.

And life is beautiful. So. Yeah, something, in terms of that kind of audience response, something that you wrote about, which I thought was interesting, was the word polarizing and how maybe the gut reaction is that that's a negative thing. Yes. But it actually, when you think about it, it's like people are having a strong response, maybe both positive and some negative. And that means that I'm making an impact versus if you're making no impression and you're

not polarizing. Right. Maybe that's not the best. Not for this show? Absolutely not. Yes, you're absolutely right. But when I had heard it the first time, I remember thinking, like, it was like I got shot in the heart with a dart.

I mean, I just remember I was such a, like a tadpole, you know, in this big ocean of sharks. So it was also new to me. Yeah. And I didn't really realize that that was a good thing. Yeah, because I think particularly on. compared to some other Housewives franchises, on Beverly Hills, there's a lot of people who have had some level of public career persona, whatever, before joining the show when you think about when you join Lisa Rinnah, Kyle Richards, Erica,

people like that. Whereas for you, I mean, you weren't even watching Housewives. You weren't even, you didn't make an audition tape. You were on Boy, George's Sizzle reel for a show that maybe he was going to do. Like, it's a completely different kind of entry into that world, which I thought was kind of interesting to put into perspective. Yes. I mean, you would be surprised how many come in without a public profile. And I think because I didn't have, you know, I didn't have any aspirations. I never envisioned being, you know, famous or a celebrity or a public person.

And I didn't even like the thought of it, to be honest with you. I always thought I would be behind the camera. I think that aspect of it especially, you know, there's an aspect that you kind of need to want it. I think one of the reasons why I was intriguing to them is because I didn't want it as much as a lot of other people do. All I know is it's almost a decade later and I'm still here. You're like every damn season they pick up. the phone. I mean, listen, I keep coming back. I know. I thought it was like to read about some of the, you know, after your first season when there was a little bit of that shell shock and then,

you know, subsequent years when it's like, that was a tough one. I don't know. Like, I do think there is something to that like perseverance that you talk about, but also learning where your boundaries are and, you know, how to navigate certain situations that it's like, okay, I can do this in a way that works for me and works for my family. And, and works for my family. and isn't going to look the same as the way that maybe somebody else would do it. That's right. Absolutely. And, I mean, I remember the first few seasons, you know, quietly saying to myself, please don't ask me back, please don't ask me back, please don't ask me back.

I mean, I write about this in the book. And, you know, I really just eventually got to the point where things are meant to be. Listen, I would have never, if you asked me 10, 15 years ago, or you told me that I was going to be on a reality show. the real house. I mean, I would have laughed. I would have said, oh my God, not me. However, for whatever reason, this is my destiny. This was my journey.

And, you know, I'm acceptive of it. I'm grateful for it. And I think that I've grown in ways that I probably wouldn't have had it not been for the show. Yeah, definitely holds a mirror up to, you know, all the different things that you're going through and ways that you handle things. For sure. I mean, normal people. don't get that of hearing all this feedback and seeing all this footage. It's a, it's a strange

thing to have to kind of mentally, you know. Oh, yeah, it is. I think anytime you are living your life and being judged, you know, and there's millions of people that have an opinion on what you say, what you do, your life, you have to compartmentalize. And if you can't learn to compartmentalize, it'll really take a toll on you. And I think in a really negative way. I'm curious for you, when you think about these, you know, many years now that you've been on the show, you talk about learning to set those boundaries and learning to kind of navigate things.

Were there any situations when you were working on the book? I know you talk about like the trip to Hong Kong was really challenging, the situation with Lisa Vanderpump and the dog, like that kind of whole. situation, what was it like kind of having to re-dig through those experiences that in the moment were really unpleasant for you? Obviously, with some time and space, revisiting those moments were a little less daunting. But I was able to go back to just the emotional state of mind I was in. And I was really, after Hong Kong, I remember being in Hong Kong. It was the first time I was away from my babies.

Right. And my babies and my husband, you know, my two grounding places. And then on top of it, you know, the boat and the, were people doing coke in your bathroom and plus the jet lag. I swear when I returned, I felt like I had been run over by a truck. Yeah. I really, it was like an out-of-body experience and I just remember thinking, this is, this is not fun. I don't want to do this. You know, life is good. I'm happy.

I don't think people talk enough about how on these Housewives trips, you guys are flying around the world and you're only there for like four days. That's barely enough time to unjet lag. Oh, forget it. No. And you don't have a day or two to adjust. No, you don't have an hour or two. No, you're go, go, go. I mean, that's part of it. In fact, that's why these trips are so exciting because everyone is just so raw, you know, tired.

and anything will come out of their mouths. Well, and for better or for worse, you don't, in that trip setting, you don't have the option to just kind of, you know, take space from people and say, okay, you know, we'll go to lunch next week and sort this out. You really have to kind of like keep at it for the whole time you're there. I mean, the trip to Italy this past season was just.

Oh, my gosh. I thought you went through the ringer a little bit on that one. And then some. and then some. Yeah, you know, and it's also really something when you're going through something in your personal life already that's very challenging. And you're living day to day with this really heavy burden on your shoulders. And then on top of it, to show up every day with a group of women, most of which are supposed to be your friends and to feel the weight of that as well, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy if I'm being honest.

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Hey, y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what-if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. The relationship with PK really is like central to the book.

I mean, they're so, it has, you know, worked its way through these last 15 years of your life in, in every capacity. And I'm wondering for you when you kind of were starting to work on the book, and obviously, you know, there have been developments in the time that you've, been working on the book. That's right. How did you kind of wrap your mind around like, okay, how do I speak about kind of the good, the bad, all the phases of this relationship throughout? I made a commitment to be completely and totally honest, open, vulnerable, and transparent. I made that commitment to myself. And that was on my mind through the entire process. And in doing so, I couldn't just talk about things in particular with P.K., even though we were going through a very acrimonious time period and through a divorce, I wasn't about to tell the story in a different tone. I really wanted it to be a reflection of what was the truth.

And that was difficult to do because when you're navigating something with someone who's so different to the man that you married, yet to speak about him in the way you've. felt the way you looked at him, what life was like. But it was important. It wasn't easy at times, but it was important. And luckily for me, and I do feel blessed that I can say this, P.K. and I had really incredible years together. And we were like one. It's hard to imagine where we are now, and it's sad, and I definitely went through those emotions, which was a rollercoaster of emotions in writing this book. But when I was done, it really felt very therapeutic, very cathartic. And also, there's something about having all of these emotions and feelings inside of you and then putting them down on paper. It's almost like a release.

Yeah, and I imagine there's something about it being your space to tell what you've feel like telling what you feel like you need to share. That's right. And it's not, I mean, obviously, now that it's out, people can read it and have whatever reactions they want. Yeah. But that when you're, you know, it's not a conversation when you're creating the text. That's right.

That's right. It was entirely my choice. And I wanted to be fair. I wanted to be balanced. And, you know, also to the audience that's been on this journey with me for almost a decade, You know, they have watched my kids grow up. And they knew me from when I, you know, joined the show in season seven. And I wanted to also talk about my background, my family, you know, pre-housewives, pre-PK, and touch upon that.

But it's a long full life. It's like, what do you choose? What do you, what do you? And for me, there were the moments in the show, for instance, you know, you. you know, the ones that were big headlines, you know, to be able to speak on it, to be able to speak on it with my own voice and tell the full story and really just take different areas of my life, you know, just family and the kids and my marriage and the breakdown of the marriage and, you know, housewives, friendships. Yeah, I think it was, it was interesting something that I mean, I'm sure I knew this on some level, but you met PK when you were 35, 35? I think. And at that time, you were living in New York.

Yep. And you didn't move to California until after you had Jagger, after you were married. That's right. No. No, before you were married. Yes. Okay. So I think people maybe don't realize, like, you weren't living in L.A. for your whole

life and then just happened to be on house. It was like, you had kind of almost just showed up. Just literally, yes. So for you, obviously, your kids have grown up in L.A. You've spent the last, you know, decade of your life there. Does it, does L.A. feel like home to you in that, like, deeper way now? Or does it still feel like this is where I am for this chapter? And then we'll see.

I think it's a ways in between. California, L.A. is never felt like home quite like New York has. And New York will always feel like home. Yeah. I mean, I, New York is like in my blood, my bones, my soul. California, it's where I live. I don't know if I'll live there for the rest of my life. It's definitely where my children have grown up.

It's where I am now, and I don't know for how long that will be. However, all of my family are on the East Coast. Right. So, you know, when I have family, family and friends in Europe and on the East Coast, like I said. So you kind of think about the rest of your life and you think about being closer to the people you are closest to. So I can't say that I envision California for the rest of my life unless some of my family end up moving out west. Yeah.

You know? God, I would love to have like a time machine and be able to see like Doreet in New York in her early 30s. That would be so good. Oh, it was so good. Where were you living in the city, like, before you met P.K.? Like, what was your... My stomping ground? I was on 57th and Lex.

Okay. I was on 51st and 3rd. So I was, you know, Upper East. Upper East, like, Sutton Place, yeah. Yes. But I, listen, I was engaged. Right. This is in the book.

I was engaged twice before PK. One of them I was engaged in the city. and when I broke off that engagement, I was single in the city, and it was a very glorious, glorious, 13 months. Pre-children. You were tearing up the town. Oh, yes. Tearing it up, having just an absolute blast.

Great group of friends. Yeah, just really living my best life. Yeah. It's like so, it's, because it feels like such a long time ago. And especially from like the derit we met on TV. That's right. But at the same time, it's like, it's not that long ago. No.

You could run it back. Oh, honey. I mean, listen, given where I am right now, there's more of a chance that that deret will emerge than the one that people have seen the last nine years. Totally. It feels like you're at a, maybe at like a bit of a crossroads where it's like the future could look like anything. Oh, I mean, I'm single again. Right. It's crazy. It's crazy to even say those words, but it's true.

I know. And when you're single, I mean, I'm a mother, and I'll always be a mother first. And luckily, I'm a very, very, very good mother. But, you know, life is meant to be lived. The last few years for me, I haven't followed that mantra of mine. And I really, really, really, that's one thing in this next chapter of my life. I fully intend to follow. Yeah.

And I think also, like, when you joined the show, your kids were so little. So, they were babies. And seeing, I mean, even seeing them now, like, they're, like, real people. I know. With, like, personalities and they can ask questions and be funny and all of that. Like, I think that's exciting to see. And also just, like, thinking about the future, it's like, your kids are going to be doing, you know, whatever.

They're, like, there's, yeah, there's, it does feel like an exciting time. then, you know, there's certain things to still work out and figure out. Yeah. My hope and my wish is that P.K. and I can find a place where we can go back to the place that we both value and appreciate one another. We are in each other's lives, whether we like it or not, at least for the foreseeable future, because our children are 10 and 12. Yeah.

I don't need to hate P.K. I don't want to hate him. and I really think if him and I both made a concerted effort to be friends first and foremost, I think it would benefit everybody, certainly the kids. But if only one of us has gotten there and the other is not willing to, then, you know, my wish will continue to be a wish. Well, I wish for the same thing. Thank you. Thank you.

I want to know when you were when you were working on the book, was there anything that you were sort of second guessing including or not including that that made it into the final version or maybe something that didn't make it into the final version that was like really kind of like on the cusp for you of like do I want to put this in there? You know, the only thing really that was always a big question mark for me, because I was writing the book during the divorce. Yeah. And because I didn't have a button, I couldn't tell you how it ended. And I was, you know, this is a long process. It's many months. Right. I was really, really hoping in that time that P.K. and I could sort of come together and

unite. And I tried so hard. I really, really tried with P.K. I tried very, very hard in the last two years for us to unite and to put, all of the anger, resentments, bitterness, everything to the side. But for whatever reason, for him, I guess it was just easier to not communicate and to make things more difficult and more challenging. And it hurt us, you know, tremendously. So when I was writing the book, I had wished and I'd hoped that I could write, this is the way it ends. To me, it would have been like a full circle moment. Yeah.

Even though we may not be married, even though we don't live together, that friendship, that bond, what brought PKK and I together, what kept us together, that doesn't have to go away. But I don't think, you know, not everybody is capable of that. Yeah. I mean, I do hope that at some point there'll be something, maybe some influences in his life, some new influences that can encourage him, you know, to, you know, to, walk into this next chapter shedding the resentments and the negative feelings and just think about things as what would be best for the children. Yeah. You know. You talk about your friendships

and specifically finding friendships that feel aligned with sort of what you need in your life and your values and who you want to influence your kids and things like that. And you have some really words for people like Bose and Rachel Zoe and even Lisa Rina and some of your friends, obviously, that we don't, you know, that aren't on the show. What was the, I mean, I, I liked that you were able to kind of find space to celebrate even some of those newer people that have come into your life. And really, it seems like those relationships that you're focused on now are really, like, helping you through, you know, harder times.

You know, my friendship with Bose, it began. very, very organic. And it was immediate. It's pretty wild that we actually have that on camera. You know, the world actually saw Bose and I meet and those first 20 minutes, they were, what you see is exactly that. And our friendship only continued to get stronger and deeper. She's a newer friend.

We've only known each other for two years. But she is, I feel like she's family, truly. She's not only been incredible, a great sense of support in these last couple of years, but even more than that, we have a very similar ideals. And I think that's what really connects us. You know, we view friendship the same way. We view family the same way. And I think when you are aligned in those things that,

For me, it's very important in this next stage. You don't feel like you need to put as many boundaries down. Right. You know, and the boundaries that are there, they're so automatically respected. Bose has been a very influential person in my life, even though it's only been two years. It's someone that she's at the forefront of my mind all the time. I see her as much off-camera as I did on camera. Rachel, you know, even less I've known her.

However, I happened to meet somebody that was going through a very similar experience. Yeah. And because Rachel is a type of person, much like me, where she's very open, she's not guarded. And her and I were able to get very close because we bonded over similar situation and the vulnerabilities of that situation. And when you have the ability to speak to somebody so openly, honestly, transparently, and can share something

and you feel like you can trust them. And even though it's only been a year, there's been enough times that, you know, that trust could have been broken and hasn't. Right. Those friendships, especially as I enter in this new chapter,

they're really important to me. And they're also a rep, they're, they lead the way to the friendships that I want to have. they not lead the way, but they are a representation of the type of friendships that I want to have. Yeah, and I think, I mean, you talk about this, but like when you're on a platform, on a show like Housewives, like there is this kind of extra layer of, you know, microscope put on things and, you know, hearing through the Great Bine and people talking and it's a scene and then it's a storyline.

Like when somebody in that environment is still able to kind of meet those like high needs of alignment and stuff like that. Like it speaks more to like a genuine connection because it would be so easy to say like, oh, like, DeRite told me this and now I'm going to, you know, use it for a token for the next scene. That's right. That's right. I think that was one of the things when I joined the show

that I struggled with a lot because I couldn't separate. To me, the show was it was just a part of my life. but however I was off the show, I was the same way on the show. And I trust people. You know, I am one of those that trust people until they give me a reason not to. Right, wrong, or other, it's just the way I am. It's the way my family is. And by doing that, you can easily get hurt.

And I think that's where Bose and I, we've talked about this a lot, were people that we lead with our hearts. And even though I've been hurt, and I'm not even talking about just the ladies on the show, just in life in general, since I became a public person, I don't want to be jaded. I don't want to go into, I don't want to be in life any different than who I am authentically.

I want to be able to, obviously, I'm wiser, obviously I pick and choose. and in the last couple of years, most importantly, I've learned to lay down boundaries where there weren't boundaries before. Or I take that back. What I discovered when I was writing this memoir is that I always had boundaries in place.

But when I joined the show, for whatever reason, the boundaries started to disappear. And I started to almost allow certain behavior that I wouldn't have. have otherwise. And that's not just with my friendships on the show that was also in my marriage. And it led to a lot of, a lot of hurt, a lot of pain, just not feeling very good or nice about life and the relationships that you have. So it was important to me. And I write about this in the book, especially as I was going into season 14, you know, the things, the catalyst, if you will,

that helped me get through PTSD and become, emerge stronger, better, bolder, and as some would describe, you know, finding my voice. But it really was a return to who I was, only wanting to be unburdened. There it is. There it is. Gotta get the title in there. That's right. Totally. Well, I enjoyed reading the book.

I think other people will as well. I feel like it's tricky sometimes to balance how much people want to hear about the show versus what you feel like is your story to tell kind of under the surface. And I think there's a lot of both of those things in there that people will really enjoy. Yeah. That was important to me too. You know, I think that I had a duty and a responsibility, like I was saying before, you know, to those that have been along the ride with me for the last decade. It didn't feel fair not to include enough of the show.

But also, the whole purpose of me for writing this book was to show and give the full story, you know, more of me. That hasn't been showcased on the show. I obviously I would love for this to be very well received and people to love it I hope so It's definitely the most honest I've ever been and most vulnerable and You know I poured my heart into it so I'm very proud of it Well congratulations thank you and it's out in the world it is out in the world People can buy it now you can listen to it you can listen to it yep the audio The Dols of Dorekouns of Dorekouns of that's right that's right my voice Nariari

my story. Well, I love it. Congratulations, to eat and thanks for being here. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks everyone for watching. Don't forget to rate, review, subscribe, and until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Thanks again to Shake Shack for sponsoring this episode. The Dubai chocolate pistachio shake is rich and satisfying and is simply made for savoring. Just don't wait too long because it's only here for a limited time. Order on the app or at your nearest Shake Shack before they're gone. Betches.