Mention It All - ‘Friend Of’ Means Whatever You Want It To Ft. Jackie Goldschneider

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

In the middle of a historically dramatic season of RHONJ, Jackie Goldschneider stops by the Betches studio to break it all down. She and Dylan chat about her shifting experience on the show, and how taking a step back this year allowed her to accomplish something else: writing a memoir. They also discuss the mounting negativity surrounding the show, and how she approaches such heavy conflicts. Later, Jackie shares her casting idea for a future season of RHUGT. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever rearranged your furniture and discovered the carpet underneath looks brand new, while the rest of it looks, well, not so new? It's time for a carpet upgrade. At the Home Depot, we have stylish choices at simple prices from all the top brands. Best of all, we can install it for you, starting at only 49 cents per square foot. So all you have to do is pick your perfect floor. Start your carpet project today at the Home Depot. How doers get more done.

Exclusions apply for licenses, see Home Depot.com slash license numbers. Betches Media presents Ha ha laugh funny Mention It All A Bravo by Betches podcast We don't say that But now we said it With me, Dylan Hafer

We're going to check me both Hey everyone Welcome back to the mention at all podcast I'm Dylan Hayfer And today I'm so excited to be joined in the studio for the first time by Jackie Goldschneider Hey Jackie

Hi everyone, hi Dylan Thanks for having me So excited to have you here You've been on the podcast before But it was like COVID times Zoom situation. And so I'm very excited to have you in the studio. We've got a new season to talk about.

You've got a book to talk about. Oh, yeah. How's it going? Everything is great. I feel really good about where I am right now professionally. And I'm just really happy. I've got the show. I've got the book.

I've got some other projects going on. And, you know, the kids are living their best life. So everything's good. No complaints. Your kids are so cute. I feel like we were not seeing them on the show. so much this season, but you know, you're on social media with them sometimes. They're always, you got good kids. Yeah, they're really cute. And my, um, my older ones are starting high school in

the fall. So they'll be playing basketball. So I'll be like that mom at the games on Friday nights and the stands at the high school. I'm so excited. That's so crazy that you're going to have kids in high school. Does that, do you think this season, obviously you're in a little bit of a different role on the show? We're not seeing quite as much of your family. And, kind of you on your own. With your kids getting older and stuff, did that seem like a smart choice in that sense? Yeah, I mean,

I just kind of like went with it. Like I like to say if you don't bend, you break, you know, like I kind of went with it. My kids don't really care one way or the other. They're happy to do it. They're happy for the season off.

They don't really mind. I think it was a good season for them to not have the cameras because they were busy. They were going through teen angst, you know, So it was actually a good season for it. You know, when they're little or, it's easy to be like, come here now. You know, let's do this now.

But, you know, they're 12 and 15. So it's like, it's hard to wrangle everybody. Yeah, we've got some little ones on Jersey again this year. Yeah, yeah, a lot of cute kids. Oh, my God. That Julianna's voice, it just kills me. She's so cute. It is, it's funny how much the energy changes on a housewives show

when they're like little kids in the mix versus when everybody's kind of got their own stuff going on. Yeah, yeah. Although I haven't spent that much time with the kids, but they're all very cute. Yeah. Do you feel like this season your place in the group felt any different, knowing that your role on the show was different? Or were your relationships kind of unaffected by that?

Yeah. No, my actual relationships that, like, continue on when the cameras go down, those didn't feel different at all. I mean, Margaret's one of my best friends, whether I'm full-time. or part time or not on the show or like anything. Melissa is one of my closest friends. So no, those relationships didn't feel any different. It only felt different at the very beginning.

Like the first few episodes, I wasn't like super comfortable because I didn't know what I should be doing, what I shouldn't. And then like, I was like, well, I'm just going to show up and do the same thing that I've always done. Like, I just don't have a personal storyline. So the only thing that felt different, was like not. I wasn't like fully,

like there were times when people would be having conversations and I didn't need to be a part of it. Do you know what I'm saying? Because I don't know. It's a little bit different. But it really, like it ended up being the same. I'm in every episode. Yeah.

You know, I feel like I had an important part in moving story along and like, you know, dropping a few bombs here and there. So I think I did a good job. Getting in a few little shay and. Any comments here and there? Yeah, for sure. I think you kind of, you hit on something important that you have real relationships

within the group with some of these women and that those relationships are certainly a part of the show, but they're not defined by the show. Oh, yeah. And so it's not like, you know, there are some people or maybe some other shows where it's like if somebody was not having a personal storyline or not, you know, being filmed as much that it would kind of be like, okay, well, what? are they doing around? Right.

No, everybody will tell you, well, my friends will tell you that it felt no different. That every, like, once in a while people will be like, I keep forgetting that you're a friend this season. I mean, I honestly, it really doesn't matter. Yeah. Like, it really, I think maybe friend has evolved, you know, like, lots of women living their best life as a friend right now. Yeah.

I agree. I mean, Kathy Hilton, which is the friend of, you know. Right? for girls on Miami. You know, I'm good. And I'll be honest with you. I don't know that I would have written my book if I wasn't part-time this season. And writing my book was the greatest thing I've ever done.

Yeah, I wanted to ask about that. Because obviously it's, you know, a huge project to do something like that. And you've, you've been open about the fact that you wrote this book completely yourself. Myself. No, no shade to anybody who, you know, does a different arrangement. But that's what you chose to do. Yeah. Well, I was a journalist for many years before I was on the show, and I love writing.

But I was nervous. But, oh, man, it turned out so good. It's so good. I'm so excited to read it. And I think there are, obviously, people write lots of different books and Housewives and other people on reality shows have written so many different books with different, you know, kind of ways in. But you have a story that so many people have connected with and have found kind of strength within. Yeah, and I'll say that viewers probably know like 2% of the story. I mean, it is, it is some journey.

And I'm really excited to put something out there that other people who feel very alone or people who love someone with an eating disorder can read and like understand a little bit of how it happens. You know, it's so hard. I get comments on my social media, right? Like when I was, you know, before I like was open about it and people would be like, just eat a sandwich, you know? Oh my God, eat a burger. And a lot of people just don't understand what an eating disorder is.

You know, it's not as simple as, you know, eating a sandwich and then just being done. And so I'm happy to really tell a more complete story. Right. And I think, I mean, I certainly think that the show has done a great job of kind of giving you that space the last couple seasons to have those conversations, but then to have, you know, 200 plus pages of a book where you can really just get into the nitty gritty. Yeah, I'm really, I'm really grateful that I had the time to do it. And I'm grateful to my, I ended up like exactly where I was supposed to be with my publisher. I'm at gallery. I have a great agent.

It's just, I'm really excited about it. Yeah, we love gallery. Gallery has done a lot of the Bravo books. Yes, they have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you don't need to be on like email chains with book publicists, you might not know that. But it's, yeah, it's a good, they know how to do it. Oh, they do.

For sure. Well, I'm excited to read it. So good, so good, so good. Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom rack stores now and up to 60% off. Stock up and save on the brands you love like Vince, Sam Edelman, Frame, and Free People. Join the Nordi Club to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices.

That's why you rack. Girl, winter is so last season. And now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch.

Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Getting back to this season a little bit, we have some new women in the group. It's the first time in really since you and Jennifer joined the show that there's kind of like a new class on Jersey. What was that like kind of just being around a bunch of new people? Yeah.

I mean, well, Jen Fasler became one of my best friends. And Rachel is adorable. You know, Danielle and I didn't click, but I think she does a great job as a housewife. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Danielle was on this podcast like at the beginning of the season and to hear her tell it basically just from day one, you two just kind of were oil and water a little bit.

I see it totally differently. Honestly, at the roller skating event, we were really like I was happy to meet her. I was very warm to her. And then next thing I know I wasn't invited to her party. And that I felt like was very childish and silly. She didn't see me look her up and down. I looked at her outfit. I was behind her.

She didn't know that. She just decided that I wasn't meant to be there. And I get it from a housewife standpoint. You got to be a little shady. But when you choose one woman out of nine to exclude from your event, then it was game on. You know? Yeah. I liked the point out.

It was like, does she have eyes in the back of her head with the. Yeah. I mean, I did like I did nothing wrong to her. she just decided that she didn't like me and that I wasn't invited. But listen, like, let her do her thing. You know, if that's how she wants to make her mark as a housewife, like, let her do it. You know? We're just very different.

So it's fine. I'm not, like, missing out on a friendship or anything. It's fine. But, like, when she says that we're from both from the same place, like, we are not funny. Like, we're just not. Like, we're just not similar people. people at all. She's on her path. I'm on my path. I don't really think about her. It's fine. Yeah. I mean, also, like, I think some of the, you know, she calls you judgey waji. You call her a,

you know, dollar store snooky or whatever. It's like, it's fun. I mean, it's. Yeah. It's like a shady. Yeah, for sure. And I think, you know, you mentioned like social media can be intense and stuff. And like because people have such already formed opinions of like you having been on the show longer than her, it's easy to be like, you know, Jackie's being mean to the new girl. And yeah, I know my truth. Listen, people love to invent a narrative. And I'm like whatever they want to say is fine. And more stuff happens this season. So, I mean, just stay tuned.

Danielle and I have a conversation. I don't want to give anything away. Yeah. I actually haven't seen any new episodes, so I don't know how much of that conversation makes it. But yeah, I mean, I don't dislike Danielle. I just don't like feel anything towards her. Yeah. I think Jersey, the last few seasons, is in such a kind of like split down the middle type of place.

It really is. That it's like, you know, for whatever reason, the cards came in and Danielle's kind of on the other side of the fence a little bit. I mean, I wish it wasn't split down the middle. But I got to tell you, I thought I was okay with everybody. and then Jen unfollowed me. She, like, blocked me. What was that? She, like, unfollowed me and, like, maybe, like, three weeks ago.

I don't know. I don't know what happened. I wasn't in a bad place. See, I actually thought the episode at Melissa's party at the shore, I thought you and Jennifer had a little bit of a nice moment where it was you kind of being on the same page that, hey, we've both had these, you know, things kind of brought against us on the show. We know that it has real life consequences. and kind of an understanding there.

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like she didn't give me much back. I was trying to come to her from like a mom to mom standpoint and really try and empathize with her and hear her. And I don't think that she gave me that much back. I could have been all the tequila. It was probably the tequila. Yeah, I mean, Jen, nobody would accuse her of being sober at that Luau party.

No, they both had a good time. Yeah. It's, there seems to be a little bit of a consensus that maybe Jen and Bill needs some, some liquid courage to. Yeah, I don't know what's going on there. I don't know. I don't know. Do you think, I'm curious, because obviously you have had some rough times on the, you know,

going back a few seasons, people coming for your marriage, whatever. But, you know, if things aren't based in reality, then they fizzle away. Yeah. But do you think with Jen and Bill, there's a sense I get sometimes like they're having conversations on camera that maybe they wouldn't ever have if the show wasn't there. Absolutely. Do you think that is helping them?

Yes. Do you think it's kind of delaying the inevitable in a way? No, I don't, I don't see them ever splitting up. I just, I would hope. And listen, I'm not there, so I'm not going to say, you know, but I would hope that she's happy and she's not just staying because she was taught to stay in a marriage once you have kids, you know? I just hope she's happy. Like the problem with having these conversations on air is that if you're not going to continue them when the cameras go down, they're not going to do

anything but open, you know, open your eyes to the problems you have. And then, you know, it's just going to, it's going to compound things, you know? Yeah, that's tough. Because with the, I mean, with everything that came out last season with Jen and Bill, it was kind of the thing of like, well, we haven't talked about this in 10 years. And we weren't ever going to talk about it. But now we have to. But then, you know, you have to follow up on those. Yeah. I mean, you have to stick with therapy. Two sessions is not enough. You know, like when the cameras went down after I started my therapy for recovery, I mean, I'm still with the same therapist every single week and the same dietitian every single week. You got to stick with it. Like it, you

You need, like, when you don't, when you just let things like Bill's Affair, when you let it just sit inside you, it doesn't go away. It's just always there and everything, you know, filters through it. And, you know, I would love to see them happy. I mean, they seem happy, but I don't know, with all those issues just sitting inside both of them, I don't know how happy you can be, you know, but I hope she is. Yeah. This season with Margaret, you're very close with Margaret. There's been kind of this long way game of telephone happening that started at Jen's daughter's birthday and Rachel got information and then talked to Danielle and then finally

at the party, Melissa kind of went to Teresa and it feels like there's a lot of conversation happening about is Margaret, does she have this arsenal of information? What's happening? Do you feel like that is kind of calculated or is it based on things that have happened on the show? No. Margaret is one of the kindest, nicest. I'm not just saying this because I'm walking the party line. Like she really is. I have been so close with her for so many years. I've never seen one inkling of anything that would make me think she's a bad person or a manipulative person or has an arsenal of things.

if anyone can't see through what a disgruntled ex-best friend, I mean, what kind of ex-best friend would go start? Like, she's on every podcast, you know, just like spilling stupid shit. I mean, like, if you can't see past that, I think Margaret is a great person. I think that she happened to know about Bill's Affair. And when she revealed it, it was a very convenient narrative to decide that Margaret has shit on people,

and that's why people are her friend. Yeah, and I think there's a difference between disagreeing with the way someone handled a particular situation maybe, like with Margaret in the affair, and saying like, this is who she is as a person. Yeah. And she has these kind of vendettas against people. Like you can you can take issue with someone's choices without being like they're, you know, the devil. Of course. And I think you've got to look at somebody's history too. I mean, like Margaret has friends.

has like the same 10 friends for the past 30 years. She's super close with me, Melissa, Jen Fessler. I mean, there's a lot of people who genuinely love her. And I think that if there was something off about her and something vindictive about her, she wouldn't have that many people

who really genuinely love her. Yeah, I think just as a viewer of the show, it feels like Margaret and Jennifer kind of have their own dynamic. That it's like, it's never quite, they're just not ever going to. be in a place where they are. I know. Every time you think that they are,

it's like, oh man, something happens. It's tough. It's Jersey. All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the strawberry watermelon refresher. And the mango pineapple refresher with popping boba. To crafted

sodas like the Sprite berry blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire? Try them all now at McDonald's. Refreshers contain caffeine. Copyright 2026, the Coca-Cola Company.

Sprite is a registered trademark of the Coca-Cola Company. Ready to soundtrack your summer? With Red Bull Summer All-Day Play, you choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep-end DJ, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track.

Red Bull Summer All-Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit red bull.com slash bright summer ahead to learn more. See you this summer. It seems like you kind of have gotten to a little bit of a place where there's not anybody in the group that you're like so, so in a bad place with. Do you feel like you've kind of come a long way in some of those relationships? Yeah, I mean, I mean, I have, me and Dolores, we argue, but we don't. But we're good.

I don't know where I stand with Teresa because. I was at a wedding. I was happy for her. Yeah. We haven't spoken since. Louis reached out to congratulate me on the book. It was very, very nice of him. But, you know, it's weird because Melissa is one of my best friends.

And, you know, it's, it's an awkward, you know, so obviously I don't talk to Teresa, but I don't feel like I'm in a fight with anybody. And I didn't feel like I was in a fight with Jen, but then she unfollowed me. Yeah, we got to get to the bottom of that. Maybe I'm blocked. I don't know. Jen, why did you have followed me? Yeah, Jennifer, if you're listening,

Not that I care, but I mean, actually, I like, I don't know. What did I do? I'll slide into our GMs. Yeah, slide in there. I do feel, Margaret has talked about going to that wedding and feeling, you know, a little bit conflicted because so much had been happening leading up to it. Were you kind of in that same headspace a little bit? No, not at all. No.

No. You know what? Nobody skipped a goddamn thing for me. when I skipped the Lake George trip and I was so devastated about all the rumors about Evan and I was crying at home and giving my kids haircuts in the driveway they were all boozing it up they were they were on a boat they were laughing drinking doing shots nobody skipped a goddamn thing for me

so when Teresa was getting married we were invited to the wedding Evan was friends at Louis I went and I I stayed and I ate all the food and drank the liquor. I mean, yeah. I mean, I agree that if you're going to, if you're going to accept the invitation, then you go. You know, I mean, but everybody has to do what's right for them. And I absolutely see why Margaret only went for a little bit. She was trying to do right by everybody, you know, but for me, I didn't feel like it

would have done any good to anybody else for me to, you know, leave early. Yeah. I think that's fair. I mean, obviously, you have real friendships within. in this group, but also, you know, sometimes, like a wedding is just a life thing. And it's like, yeah, like, these people I am, I'm in their lives in some way and they're getting married. So I'm going to the wedding. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I do wonder this season, it feels like there was, you know, always a chance that Teresa and Melissa and Joe were going to kind of like coast through

and maybe just have peace, whatever that means. Did you, ever see the writing on the wall that things were going to kind of take a left turn or was it really surprising to you how things ended up i'm not shocked that they ended up like splitting totally splitting um because i know that there was always tension there i mean it's impossible not to see that there was always tension there but i thought that because joe and teresa are really all they have family-wise, that they'd always find a way to stay somewhat connected, even if they weren't really, like, close to each other. I never thought they would actually make a clean break. I mean, even going to the shore this past episode, you know, Teresa's saying, why didn't

they invite me to stay at their house? Like, you know, clearly at that point, it's like maybe things aren't perfect, but she wouldn't say that if she was like, I hate their guts. You know, it's tough to see how things kind of like are spiraling down the hill. Yeah, I think that things happened that maybe viewers don't know about, which obviously I wouldn't say, but like things that happened prior that factor into Melissa's decisions. And I'll just say that without taking aside, when you watch more get later into the season, you'll understand more about why certain decisions were made. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that, I mean, obviously, I'm curious to see where it goes, but also with the way that social media is and the way that people kind of pick apart these shows, people forget that it's like, okay, there's like many hours worth of footage that we've not seen yet. Yeah. And so it's like on episode one, you can't form the opinion about what we know has happened after the season. Right. Yeah, I wish I could tell people that. I mean, you guys always have a lot going on. Tell me about it.

Tell me about it. You should see my group texts. It's crazy. Do you feel like so now you've been on the show for, I mean, several years, several years, five years. Do you feel like if you could go back to day one and know kind of like where this whole whirlwind was going to go? Do you feel kind of good about how things have played out for you? Yeah. I mean, listen, like I believe in fate.

I believe in the universe. I feel like I might have done things different season three. But other than that, like, yeah, even this season, I had a great time. I really didn't. It's everybody else who has, like, an issue with the friend thing. I really don't. I did at the beginning. Like, it was weird and it was uncomfortable, but it was never like, I never looked at people as like,

ah, you took my job. Like, it's not the way it works. You know, like, if Bravo wanted a million housewives on the cast, like, that's what they would do, you know? Like, right. I don't, I just really kind of like went with it. And I was like, well, if that's my job, then that's the job I'm going to do, you know? And yeah. So, no, I really, I love the way things have gone. I love being a part of the show. I love being part of Bravo. And listen, it's not going to last forever for anyone. You know, no one's going to be here forever. So, I mean, everyone's going to have to like bend a little bit at some point, right? Yeah. So I mean,

Yeah, I wouldn't change anything. And like you said, you probably wouldn't have written the book, at least right now, if you didn't have kind of a little more space. For sure. And the book is so great. It's so good. It's really good. Yeah.

So, but this season is killer. It's great. It is. There's a lot to come. Our trip to Ireland was, I mean, one for the books. Oh, my God. I keep forgetting that we still have a whole trip left to go. I'm very excited.

Yeah. Before we go, I want to ask, we have a new season of House of Ultimate Girls trip that is premiering right now in Thailand. There's another one that happened in Morocco that Caroline Manzo went on. Oh yeah. We got to get you on a girls trip one of these days. From your mouth to Andy's ears. So in the Jackie Goldschneider, you know, magic wish, who would be on your girls trip? Oh my God. I haven't even thought about that. I don't know who's been on. So I think Candace just went on that last one, right? Because she is my favorite housewife right now. Okay. Across the board. You know, maybe they could do like a friends one, like me and Jen Fessler, or maybe they could do

like a Jewish mom's one. Like me, Jen, and, and, um, Heather Debrough, Heather Debrough, Kyle counts. Her daughter had a bar mitzvah, uh, bat mitzvah. Let's see, who would be on my ultimate girl's trip? I don't know. Oh, Meredith Marks is Jewish. Meredith Marks. Yeah, we got a lot of them. Lisa Barlow was born Jewish. That would be, okay, that, honestly, I don't know that. I think that is It's a completely original concept, and now I am 100% fun for. It would be so good. I mean, my kids are getting bar mitzvah this year, so we could do it. We could bring the kids.

I, no, I think that is a great idea. We've had lots of Girls Trip Dreamcasts. You can have Shabbat dinner. I think Jewish moms is really great. Yes. That would be amazing. Yeah, we could overfeed everyone. It would be great.

Yes. Well, you know, maybe we can make it happen. if Peacock is listening. Get that in the works. Oh, Jackie, I'm so glad we got to talk today. Me too. Your book, The Weight of Beautiful, is coming out September 26th, and it's available for pre-order now. Wherever you get your books.

Wherever you get your books. And, you know, New Jersey, it's chugging along. Keep watching. Keep watching. Stay tuned. How are you feeling looking into whenever we're doing reunion? How are you feeling about reunion? I feel great this year because I'm not like in the middle of anyone's shit. I feel fabulous. You're like I might get called judgey wudgy, but that's about the worst.

Right. I mean, listen, you're supposed to. You know, when Danielle first called me a snob, I was like, I said to, I think I said to Tom. I said, is that bad? She called me a snob. He goes, you know, it's good to be a snob on the housewives. You have standards.

You got standards. It's okay. Listen to my little snobby, maybe. It's, fine. But I'm nice. I'm nice and I'm kind and I'm generous. So it's okay to be a little snobby too. I think that's the right attitude.

Yes. Exactly. Well, thank you, Jackie, so much. Thanks, Dylan. And thank you everyone for listening. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow the show wherever you listen. You can follow us on Instagram at Bravo by Betches. And until next time, be cool.

Don't be all like uncool. Mention It All is produced by Dylan Hafer, Sean Kilby, Jorge Morales Pico, and Rebecca Sousma-Kat. Editing by Jorge Morales Pico. Social media by Dylan Hafer. Guest booking by Dylan Hafer and Ali Friedlander. Be sure to follow at Bravo. by batches on Instagram and Twitter. All.

Pay off your home, travel for life, drive a Ferrari. In celebration of the world premiere of the Monopoly big board buck slot machine by aristocrat gaming, Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is giving one person a $1.6 million dream package. The biggest prize in Yamava's history. Club Serrano members can earn daily instant prizes and secure a spot in the finale May 29th.

Don't pass go and own it all. Only at Yamava, celebrating its 40th anniversary. You win? Details at Yamava.com must be 21-20. Please gamble responsibly. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro. Hasbro is not a sponsor of this promotion. Betches