Mention It All - From True Life To Real Housewife Ft. Danielle Cabral

Episode Date: February 9, 2023

Fresh off her RHONJ debut, Danielle Cabral joins Dylan in the studio to mention it all. They discuss her years-long preparation for this moment, starting with an episode of True Life way back in 2006. Then, Danielle breaks down the complicated dynamics of RHONJ, and why it’s important to be strategic as a newbie. She also discusses her icy relationship with Jackie, and how she’s preparing for the social media rollercoaster of being on Bravo. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Betches Media presents. Ha ha, laugh, funny. Mention It All. A Bravo by Betches podcast. We don't say that, but now we said it. With me, Dylan Hafer. We're on check, me, boo. Hey, everyone.

Welcome back to the Mentioned All podcast. It is New Jersey Premier Week. We are keeping things rolling. And today, I'm very excited to have a brand new housewife, a real housewife of New Jersey, Danielle Cabral, in the studio. Hi. I'm actually more excited, I think. I love bitches.

Like this is a big day for me. Well, we love to hear it. I love it. And we love to have you here. I'm glad you could come in the studio. You know, we got a little tri-state area, magic happening. Yeah. You're here.

We are recording this the day of the premiere. So in just a few hours, people are going to get to meet you on the show. How are you feeling? I am excited. I am so ready. It's been a long time coming where, like, I could showcase what we've been doing this whole summer. You know, you can't talk. about it for such a long time. And then, you know, it's here. It's like in August, I was like,

I'd have time to breathe. But it's like here. And I'm, I'm ready. I'm so ready. Yeah, you guys had kind of a long time in between filming and when the season is premiering. And if you're already on the show, it's a little different because it's like, you know, somebody like Margaret or Teresa doesn't have to hide the fact that they're doing whatever, but you're kind of like, okay, I don't know, what am I posting? Nothing. And then when I go out like in public, I would go out with Teresa and Jen and they'd be like, hi, excuse me. Can you take a picture with me and Jen and Teresa? I'm like, yeah, I'm sure.

You know, you're like the weirdo on the sideline. You can't even say anything. But now I'm screaming it. Right. It's like in six months you're going to wish you. You had found somebody else to take the picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they were very good at being like, well, she's the new one.

Yeah. They were cool. Yeah, I actually, I met Jen Fessler and Rachel like a month ago and it was very like, I'm like, yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to keep you quiet. So you are not new to reality TV in a sense. I don't know if everybody listening knows this, but all the way back in 2006, I believe you were on a little program called True Life.

I'm a Staten Island girl. Yep. Yes, that was a lifetime ago. And you look very young to know about True Life, but it's surprising to me how many people actually remember that show. Well, that's what's crazy is because I think back then there was kind of less going on overall. Right. No Jersey Shore. No housewives. We were like the first time people saw Staten Island and they were like, oh my God, where is this place in the world? And these people exist. And it just stuck. The episode stuck in people's minds. So going back in time, obviously that was a lifetime ago for you. You were what, like 20? I wasn't even 21. I had a drink out of a red cup when we went out to the clubs. I was 20. So how just give me like a Cliff Notes version. How do you?

get from there to hear. What's your story? Oh my God. Cliff notes. Jesus. It's a journey. Let's just say that. You go from one place to another from you just keep going. I just kept going and evolving. And then I ended up here. But I say I ended up here like, I ended up here. But there's so much that has happened in my journey from meeting my husband to like giving everything up to be to move back home because his father was sick. And then just things happened. We filmed a show remodeling our house on the DIY network, eight episodes. Like we were always in it, but nothing on this scale, nothing of this magnitude. Right. And coming in to, you know, it's a reality TV dynasty, the Real Housewives, and there's a lot of history there.

Right. We find out in the premiere, Teresa says, I'm reading my notes because I want to get this correct. Your stepmom was married to Caroline Manzo's brother. Correct. And we get a great throwback quality photo of you, Caroline, Teresa, and Jacqueline. and Lareda. Yep. Are you still in contact with that side of the family, the Laredas at all?

Or is that a very, like, past connection? No. So that's my step sister. That was at my step sister's wedding. Okay. So, I mean, that's my family. And I did reach out to them. I was like, hey, there's a possibility that I might be doing this show.

I just wanted you to hear it from May 1st. Because there was no, I wasn't coming on bashing anyone. Like, everybody's going to think I'm coming on as Teresa's friends. Oh, she must be bashing so and so. that was never the case. It was never even really brought up. It just happened to be. I know them. But they gave me great advice. And they were like, it's going to be the best of times. It's buckle up. That's all I'm going to say is buckle up. So, yes, no bad blood anywhere. I feel like buckle up is kind of the only thing you can say to somebody who's signing up for this because it really is a roller coaster. Oh, you have no idea. So easy for you to say that sitting there watching. But to live it, it's a roller coaster for. for sure. So we see your family in the first episode, your beautiful children. Thank you. Dominic and Valentina. They seem so comfortable in those first couple scenes that you have at home. How did you kind of prepare your family to do this whole experience together?

They've been, they're used to that since they're born. I'm always filming. I have my phone out. I'm doing videos with them. We've done, because I was doing the social media thing before I was wives. So we would always do a video for a brand or for whatever. They're always used to the camera on. And it's just our world. So like when I guess 20 something people show up to do the show, to them it's a party. These are their friends. And they just nailed it. It was like, I mean, it was like we did it every day, really. They just went right into it so naturally. That's so funny because I feel like there are, you hear different people kind of have different experiences with it. And some, it's like the kids don't want anything to do with it. It's like pulling tea.

No, but there were some days where we would film, like, some serious conversations. And they were like, Mom, we're hungry. I'm like, just going downstairs. Mom, we want chicken nuggets. So, you know, they were troublesome. But they were never like, we don't want to do this. It looks safe to say you have your hands full sometimes. Oh, yeah, with my daughter, especially, with that one.

Yep, she is just, she is something. She really is. So how did this process of you coming? into the housewives last season? Like how did that kind of materialize? So I had said, okay, if we're going to do this, I want to go in open-minded. I honestly watched the first few seasons. And then I took a break because I was a mom, a wife, all that stuff.

And then I picked it up season 12. I didn't know much history. I know there was a lot of crazy things that went down. But I didn't get to invest in it because it would ruin the new relationships that I was about to build with these women, who I did not know, really. So I went into it like, hey, I'm Danielle. What's your name? And I learned who that person was based on how they treated me,

not based on what they did three seasons ago. Because you can't go in like that. And it was seamless. Like me and Rachel, I think we really fit in. What transpires transpires, you'll see. But you'll see like in the first episode, we walked into like complete, it's a shit show, you know? And sometimes you have to be like, right, let me just step back

and let them hash out the hair thing, because this is not my fight. And that's what we did. We kind of knew our place. Yeah, I think, I mean, in any show that's been running for a long time, but Jersey in particular has some really, some deep baggage, some tough personal issues to work through. And I think we've seen a couple people on the show sort of try to come in

and maybe get in the mix a little too fast or just kind of tackle the wrong problem. And then it's like, When you think of the show, right, you think of housewives, you're like, oh my God, I got to go in and fight with this one, this one, to give me that housewife moment. And what I did was take myself out of the fact that this is housewives. This is just, okay, I know that sounds weird, but like, I'm going to hang out with some girlfriends tonight. And let's see what happens. And in these moments where it didn't feel authentic to argue, who the hell am I to come in and start jumping on people's past history? Yeah.

Like, take a step back. This ain't your fight, chick, you know? Right. That's what I did. Right. That it's like you can you can take a couple minutes to be in the back kind of making your mental note. Yeah. Well, I ate a lot.

Let me tell you. When we would film the spreads and nobody ate. At some point I was starting to bring tubbleware because they would just, there was food everywhere. So I sat back, ate and let them. Don't I get into it a lot. I will have that. Trust me. It's coming.

But like in the beginning, nope. I knew my place. So good. So good. Everything you want for summer is at. at Nordstrom rack stores now and up to 60% off. Stock up and save on the brands you love

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It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. So you mentioned Rachel. Also, we have Jen Fessler joining the cast this season. Do you feel like it benefited all of you to kind of have other new people around that it wasn't just like, okay, I'm Danielle, I'm the new girl. Right.

It's just me. Yeah, I think in the beginning, we were champing each other. Like, we would hang out one day and then I would send a text, mostly to Jen Fessler, too, because she was having a little bit of a hard time getting in the group. We kind of helped each other out to navigate this new group that we were joining. What things happened along the way, which you will see, but it was definitely good to have each other because we would maybe sometimes the three of us would like be off to the corner while the other other girls were doing their thing, hashing out whatever they had a leftover from last

season. And we just were kind of like, what's happening? What are they talking about? And it was good to have that. Yeah. That makes sense also because I think sometimes there's the idea of, you know, like fighting for screen time. And it's like if you're on the show, you'll be on the show. It's not, it's not so much like every minute you have to be causing the most commotion or doing the most. It's like, you can kind of wait for your moment and then feel out the situation and actually form relationships. A hundred percent. And it comes off like unauthentic, annoying. People can't stand that. And it's like, just speak when it's something that pertains to you and when it makes sense. Otherwise, it's like, just shut up. Like you're trying. You could tell when someone's trying and it's

annoying. Yeah. You know, so I always knew my place. It was so perfect Jersey to me that 15 minutes into the season, we're at this 80s themed roller skating party. Were you, it seemed like your husband maybe didn't quite know what he was getting himself into. None of us really did. I mean, that was our first time filming together as a group. Right. You know, and I was the first time I met Melissa, Margaret. I met all of them that night.

And there was so much going on. And you want to have your moment, take the show aside. You want to have your moment to meet these people and say, hey, I'm Danielle. Nice to meet you. And there was just so much happening. And there was a leftover drama from the previous season. But it was good. Sometimes we took a step back.

And I'm like, you're right, Nate? You're right, baby. He's like, I'm good. We were drinking. Overall, it was a fun night. And then a few days later, he's pouring water on himself from a watering can. Can we discuss how hot? I mean, like he is, I call him an Adonis.

He is literally a walking Adonis. and his outside matches his inside, which is just, that's what I do the first episode. I got, because he's just so delicious, he is. Are you like nervously laughing back at me right? You're like, I would have done the show just to get the calendar photo shoot. Oh, my God. And they cut a lot out.

Like, I was like screaming on the sidelines. I was sweating. He's just, who, something. So at that event and also at the, roller skating party. There's kind of, you know, different drama going on. And I noticed that it felt like Jen sort of got involved, Jen Fessler sort of got involved with the Margaret and Teresa stuff, kind of telling Teresa that Margaret's coming from a good place. And then Rachel was getting involved a little bit more with the Jen Aiden and Dolores stuff. You mentioned a little bit before, but was it kind of a conscious

decision for you not to get so involved in those events? Yeah, 100%. I don't know. I don't know much. to talk on it. I'm not a writer. At that point, I'm not a writer for Jen. I'm not a writer for, you know, whatever. Margaret, I just was listening to everybody. I was like, oh, wait, what beef do you have with her? Tell me, tell me, tell me. I didn't, who am I to stick up for one person that I don't have history with? Right? These aren't my girls, like Margaret and Jen, I just met. So I had to just listen. I gave my opinion on things, but I just, you learn how to navigate those waters, you know? Yeah, it's tough because I think the last couple seasons, at least from a viewer standpoint, there's a feeling that you could kind of split this cast into two teams. That it's like, you know, you got Teresa and Jen and Dolores and then you got Melissa and Margaret and Jackie.

And like you said, you didn't know all of the women coming in. So I imagine it's stressful to kind of feel like, oh, if I, you know, stick up too much for this one person, then do I just not get to get to know this other person? Right. And that's so annoying. Isn't that annoying? Like in what world do you separate a group of friends in the team A and a team B? It's just like why is that a thing? Why can I go in and just say, oh yeah, Teresa brought me in, but what's the problem you have?

Let me give you my advice. Let me not steer you into hating someone even more. Let me try to make it better. And I just, I hate the fact that we kind of went that way. Things happen and you have to stick off for your, you know, your people. But it's just, it's really annoying because we all in a way wanted to make everything. everything better. You know, throughout, there's a lot of us that try to make everything better.

And there's a workout like that. I don't know. You'll say, what? It's just a lot. Jersey's a lot. For sure. Yeah, it's tough because when you want to go in with an open mind, but then, you know, you also want to, you want friends.

You don't want to kind of be playing the field too much and alienate everyone. Right. Well, exactly. I mean, Teresa has a history with every one of them. So it was very difficult for me too because I had told her, I was like, listen, I want to go in and just be a clean slate. And at the time, I didn't even know or hear all the noise of like,

oh, a Teresa soldier. I didn't know that existed. And that's so not how I even, I went in. And she respected that. She's like, you do you. You figure out how everybody is. I'm going to give you my advice. Just be careful.

But you go and you'd be friends with everybody. I don't care. And I think that made it easier for me to transition. because I didn't come on too strong. Like, oh, I guess what happened in the previous season with her and Margaret, I didn't come on like, eh. Yeah. I know about you. I didn't do that.

I was like, hey. So it just makes it easier to join a group of friends. Yeah. I think social media makes it hard too because, you know, like you said, you finished filming in August or whatever. And nobody's even seen an episode for the last six months. And people are very hardcore. Like, okay. So this is the new girl that's coming on.

And she's like attached at the hip to Teresa and she hates everybody, you know, like that kind of thing. I mean, the only, my own like friends on the show, not friends, one of my cast meets, whatever, you want to call them, call me names. Like a lap dog. That's what I was called, right? And it's like, huh? Like that's the only thing you can say? Is that what you're clinging towards? Because it's so easy.

I guess people have done that before where they come on and it's, you're one-sided. But that couldn't be further from the truth of what actually goes down. So it's like, wow, you know, I can't wait for you to watch this season because you don't even know what is going to air. They really don't. I think I maybe was in the room when the lap dog comes. Yeah, it was a thing. It was a thing. I'm like, huh?

Are they talking about me? Can't be me. I'm nobody's lap dog. So it's just, you know, I can't wait for the whole season to play out. Yeah. I imagine it's tough when you start to kind of feel like you're getting sucked into that game of who said what. And, you know, it's being reported here. it's on social media.

And it's like, oh, I came into this experience just like making friends, hanging out. And it kind of becomes hard to just do it at that surface level. You know what, though? That honestly, I laughed at it. I was like, oh, yeah, yeah. Because I know what I, you know, filmed. I know who I am. And I'm like, well, let's let them watch the season.

The season will explain everything. So I'm vindicated in that way where I don't have to say anything. I don't have to talk because you will all. see it. So I'm confident. I'm like, whatever. That's so easy, right? Is there any, obviously, not too specific because I know you can't spoil everything. Are there any moments from the season that you are a little bit more? Like, I don't know if I handled that the right way. Never. Not one. No? Not one. Not one. Not one. And trust me, I played every day over in my head a million times with my husband. I wrote it down and navigated everything. I'm like, no, that's not bad either.

All right. That's not bad. I'm good. I'm good. I'm not. I'm not. I'm good. I'm not. worried about one thing. Honestly, I'm not. I appreciate the confidence. Yeah, it's the truth. It's the truth. First of all, you have to also know you're on a television show at the same time here. Like, people are going to see you, right?

So let's be conscious about what you say and what you do. Because you could get lost in the moment very quickly. When someone's coming at you, you block out everything in the background. And sometimes you just, you want to like, go in on them. But you're like, you know what? let me take it down a notch and I handled everything with respect and class and as a good friend

and that's what I'm most proud of. I don't have to be worried that I was a shitty friend to anybody. It's probably another plus side of eating at the events is you don't forget you don't get too drunk and forget too much. I was so looking forward to that. From what I heard Jen was like the best drunk and I'm like, we're going to get sloppy. Even in Ireland, I was like,

Teresa's bachelor's party. Let's get sloppy. I mean, Jen gets sloppy. Jen Fesley gets sloppy, but I didn't get sloppy at all this year. Next year. That's for the best. I guess that I'll be like a meme crawling on the floor somewhere. Right.

You say it now. It sounds fun. And then you realize that it's on, you know, streaming on Peacock until the end of time. True. I like doing that at my home and say it with my friends. But like Peacog, I guess I, you're right. Let's refrain. You keep it buttoned up just like one button.

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Is there anything this season that you're really excited to get to watch, to just kind of relive? I got a fun moment? Yeah. Well, there's two. A fun moment, yes. My daughter's fifth birthday and I host a Mutzedal party making party at my house. Okay. And I'm like a hot mess. Usually when I throw parties, everything has to be perfect. Nobody could come in unless like the candle is lit and everything is perfect. And that day there was a windstorm. I mean, it was chaos. And I'm like, nobody come in yet? And it turns out to be a good day in so many ways. but I'm excited for that day and my daughter's birthday and I'm excited to relive things and see things

in the truthful light. Things happen in the season that changed the course of relationships and I'm excited to see how it all goes down behind the scenes and things that I didn't see or the conversations I didn't hear. The confessional interviews, people can get real cute in the confessional chair. Real cute.

I can't wait for that. And like that's jarring. You know, for me, it's my first season. I get to see these people talking about me. Can you imagine? Yeah. That's got to be tough. I think from people I've talked to, I think that's one of the strangest things is that

you can have such a clear memory of what happened in your experience. Right. But then there's scenes that you weren't in that other people were filming. There's the confessional interviews. People can twist things on social media. You know, there's so many different layers to it that it can be. come something totally different. It's like the show The Affair.

You know, do you ever watch that? I know. Not all the way, but yeah. It's the same thing only told from two different perspectives and they're wildly different. And that will be exciting to see my perspective and then their perspective and how different it is. Mine's the right way, obviously. But, you know, it would be nice to see where they were going with it. I'm interested to see, you know, how they're wrong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm curious to see how that went down. Jersey has some of the most passionate fans, I think. Yeah. And that can be maybe a good thing and a little bit of a tough thing. I know you like social media. You're no stranger to social media. Do you feel like you are kind of bracing yourself for just the polarizing nature

of the show and living through that? Yeah. And you know what? It's kind of been good. I put a lot of myself on social media right now, my family, my life, everything. So I give myself on a silver platter for people to see me. So they don't have to make assumptions. They kind of see what kind of person I am.

The feedback has been kind of good. And I'm bracing myself for the negativity. Because I know people are, I'm not going to be everybody's cup of tea. You know, I am, I'm not looking forward to that because I'm not used to it. But it is what it is. It comes with the territory, you know, sometimes you have to, you got to block it the best you can. Have you talked to Teresa or Jen or anyone kind of about what that experience is like? and if they have any advice for you.

Teresa doesn't see anything. Teresa is very good at that. She really doesn't follow the negativity on social media. And, you know, Jen, she finds her way to navigate in and out of certain situations. Mostly I'm on social and I'm like, oh, what Jen say today? What Jen say today? And they, it's the comes up, everybody knows. Everybody's going to talk about you, whether it's good or bad.

You signed up for it. So you've got to deal with it. I hope it's good. I mean good But you know It comes with the territory I think you just have to You know

There will be good There will be bad And at the end of the day As long as you're You know Maybe not positive Whatever Listen talk about my face

My hair My dress my skin Whatever As much as you want Don't talk about My family And my husband And my kids

You know Like that's what I'm not Looking forward to Tell me that you think I look trashy I don't care Whatever That's stupid When you get down to talking bad about families, uh-uh.

It's not nice. Yeah, on the show and off, I feel like that's something that has always been, you know, like the kids shouldn't be in the conversation. And then sometimes people, you know. Yeah, I think that's like a golden rule on the show. No one should really talk about kids because if that ever did happen, it would really set me off. I think it would set a lot of them off too. You know, don't do that. Yeah.

But everybody's been pretty good, I think, with that. No one really, oh God, I can't say that. No one really goes into family. Was I really even going to say that out of my mouth? Sorry about that. You're like, I just realized that's completely made up. Actually, let me rewind that. We're not going to talk about kids.

I'll give it there. But family is a very big part of our show, unfortunately. Yeah. Was Nate kind of down for the amount that the husbands are involved in Jersey? Because it is different than some other shows. Yeah, Nate, he's down. He's down for whatever. He gets along great with Louis and Pauley.

They talk almost every day. He really built a great friendship with them. And they helped him navigate into this world. And the guys are so easygoing and so great. I mean, we'll be going at it in the other room and they're doing shots together. You know, they're just got it. They're a piece of cake. They show up.

They drink, laugh, walk red carpets. Everybody loves them. They don't have to fight with anybody. And like, we do all the work. The women, the wives do all the heavy, heavy lifting here and they just coast on through. It's like you took your sexy photos outside while everybody else is in here screaming. Yes, exactly.

Yes, exactly. Well, you know, hopefully there's some fun along the way for you too. Yeah, lots. Yes, there's definitely a lot of fun for sure. One last thing I'm curious. In the season trailer, we do get a little sneak peek at you and Jackie having some words, maybe some hands, you know, some gesturing. Yeah.

What kind of do you have any thoughts on that really? relationship at this point? Listen, I really, like I said, went into wanting to be friends with everybody. I think she was the one that really was the least nicest to me and show me just really who she was. I had nothing against her. She was like my Staten Island girl. We were going to go into this. Everything was cool.

But yeah, I never got a good vibe from her. And sometimes I'd be having conversations with some of the other women and then we'd kind of stop for the day and they'd be like, you good, you good, you know. Her, no. She just was not nice to me. She just was not nice, period. That's it. Yeah. You know, everybody's a lot to have their, you know, I don't want to talk bad about anybody, but if you were nicer, maybe I wouldn't talk bad. Fair enough. Yeah. That's it. Love and light. Yeah. Love and light. Yeah. So, okay, before we go, if you could set kind of like one, I don't know, an intention or a word or a mantra that you're keeping for this season.

What might it be? Oh, the truth shall set you free. The truth will set everybody free. There we go. Danielle Cabral. Cabral. Cabral. I love that you said it.

Nice. Good. Okay. Well, thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited to see more of you this season. And I think everybody is going to, you know, the truth will set us free. Yeah, the truth will set you free. Amazing.

Well, thank you so much. Thank you. And thank you, everyone for listening. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow the show. Wherever you listen, you can follow us on Instagram at Bravo by Betches. Danielle, what's your Instagram? Danielle Cabral Official. Danielle Cabral Official.

And until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mention It All is produced by Dylan Hafer, Sean Kilby, Jorge Morales Pico, and Rebecca Sousa McCat. Editing by Horace Pico. Social media by Dylan Hafer. Guest booking by Dylan Hafer and Ali Friedlander. Be sure to follow at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter. Twitter. Pay off your home, travel for life, drive a Ferrari. In celebration of the world premiere of

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