Mention It All - Get In Loser, We’re Going To Mars (Top Chef)

Episode Date: May 6, 2022

Dylan is back to talk Top Chef, starting with his assessment of how he’d fare on the blind taste test (hint: not well, bitch). Then he gets into this week’s episode, where some clear favorites start to emerge from the top six chefs. In honor of the space-themed challenge, Dylan ponders the future of the space program, and the future of some struggling chefs in the competition. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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See Home Depot.com slash price match for details. Betches Media presents. Ha ha, laugh, funny. Mention It All. A Bravo by Betches podcast. We don't say that, but now we said it. With Dylan Hafer. We'll go check me, boo.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Mentioned It All podcast. I'm Dylan Hafer, and as always on Friday, it's just me today. We're talking Top Chef. It's getting down to the wire. But first, I want to give you a little heads up. We have some exciting new Bravo merch on Shop Bettsch. You can go to betches.com slash bravo merch.

We did this wine glass for the season of New Jersey that's finishing up right now. And it's like, you know, it's one of those glasses where you pour the wine and there's little notches. And it's like as you drink more wine, you're getting a little more activated, as Lindsay Hubbard might say. You guys love that glass. We sold a ton of them. So now we have a Beverly Hills one.

I'm very excited about that. Go check it out. Season starts next week. You got to be prepared. You got to be prepared. There's no, there's no alternative. But we are talking Top Chef today. There's so much going on in the Bravo universe. And it's nice to just hone in on what's happening down in Houston. By the way, did anyone else see Chef Melissa King at the Met Gala on Monday? She was looking cool. She was wearing a, like a Tom Brown little short suit moment. I don't know. I don't know why she was there. I don't know who invited her. I'm here for it. I love to see. I love to see. I'm I love to see Bravo Lebrides succeeding, and particularly not the Bravo Lebrides you would expect to be at the Mekgala. You know, Sutton's been to the Mek Gala, Tinsley's been to the Mek Gala. I'm sure Doreet would love to go.

I'm sure there are Larsa Pippen would kill for an invite to the Mek Gala. But no, it's Chef Melissa, and I love that for her. We get to see Chef Melissa on tonight's episode, so it's always a good time. I want to, honestly, should I get Chef Melissa on the podcast? Let me think about it. up on last week's last chance kitchen. Luke has just been eliminated and he and Sarah are going to face off first in a blind taste test and then they get to make whatever dish they want. I like this twist on the blind taste test. We didn't see it, or at least we haven't so far in the main competition,

but this is a fun little twist because they are tasting or testing, they don't have to taste them, spices and herbs and there's like 23 of them I think and whatever they correctly identify in five minutes those are the only seasonings they get to use while making this dish and this is I love when the last chance kitchen challenges kind of troll the contestants and Tom's like so Luke basically you fucking suck at seasoning your food um so we're gonna just make that a little harder for you because now not only are you going to have to like do the seasoning, but you're only going to be able to use what you can identify. And Besties, Luke does not do great at this. In the five minutes, Luke only gets five correct identifications. Sarah gets 10. That's a big difference.

And both of them, I noticed one of the ones that they both got correct was ground cinnamon, which, you know, there's a time and a place, but like, that's not exactly something you're going to be working into every dish. You know, he gets like oregano. But meanwhile, you know, Sarah's over here. She's getting dill. She's getting parsley. She's getting, you know, like, she just has a lot more to work with.

And to add on top of that, like, if I were doing this taste test, I think I would have gotten like cayenne pepper, maybe basil. I really want to give myself, like, more credit. But honestly, I think I deserve less. So I'll just stick with those two. Oh, cinnamon I would get. yeah, like I would get cinnamon, but I think that's about it. Like, I'm thinking like, okay, I guess, like, if there was a garlic powder, I could do that, but that didn't, I don't think that's really like the vibe they were going for. I could do salt, but I think so. Does salt count as a seasoning? It must. But then I don't think they had to, I don't think they were like tasting salt. Like, I think they were allowed to use salt. Because we know they were allowed to use salt because Luke has his box of salt under his station and they only have 20 minutes to cook. Luke doesn't touch the salt, doesn't even know where it is until 18 minutes into his 20-minute cook. And literally, at the beginning of this challenge, Tom is like, hey, Luke, you better season your food, right, hon?

And I just, look, I wanted Sarah to win, so I was kind of happy, especially because Sarah's pesto was not really working out. It seemed like Luke maybe would have had the upper hand, except for the fact that he didn't put salt and this fucking food. I don't understand how I know this is very stressful. I know I would be horrible at it, so I'm like the last person to, the last person to talk. Here I am talking into a microphone. But it's like, you've been told time and time again to season your food and then you just like, don't. I don't know. I like that. The two dishes we get are roasted carrots and roasted cauliflower. I'm like, woo-hoo, this is fun. But Sarah gets the win again. There's only one week left of Last Chance Kitchen. I'm going to get to the finale next week, because to be honest,

it's like 40 minutes long, and I just didn't have the bandwidth. But let's get on to this regular episode. There are only six chefs left in the competition. We have Evelyn. We have Buddha. We have Nick. We have Ashley. We have Jay. We have Demar. That is our top six, of course, not including whatever happens with Last Chance Kitchen, but they're still in Houston. They're going to note a handwritten note to meet Padma at the Houston Farmers Market. And I love this note ends with Love Padma. And I just, I'm having a hard time believing that this lovely handwritten note card was handwritten by Padma Lakshmi.

Like, I don't. hmm. It's really funny to imagine like whatever PA on the Top Chef set having to like, with the best handwriting, writing out this note card that's like, hey, chef testants, grab a map and meet me at the Houston Farmers Market. Love Padma. Like, there's no way she wrote that. But anyway, they get to the Farmers Market. Guest Judge Claudette is there. She's been on apparently Top Chef Colorado and Top Chef Mexico, which is very cool. And for this challenge, they are going to be shopping in the farmer's market, and they have to make their own take on fajitas, which is fun. I haven't had a fajita in forever. But I always loved, like, when I was a kid, my family would go to, like, TGI Fridays or, like, those kind of places sometimes. And it was always so fun when, like, the table next to you was getting, like, the fajita platter. It's like, whew! Like, there's, like, steam happening. It feels very dramatic. Like, it was never really my journey, but I appreciate the, I feel like fajitas are so extra, like they just make their presence known, and that's kind of like a fun thing. But anyway, the protein in this challenge and the 10K prize are furnished by Chipotle, which I love to see. And we find out that Nick has earned a nickname in this competition as the Mississippi Baker, because he has the most bread. He apparently, apparently, I don't keep track of this kind of thing, but he's now apparently won like three different challenges with cash prizes. so he has more dough than anyone in the competition.

And I love this. I love when we get kind of the fun, light competition between the people on this show. Because obviously, we know they all want it. Like, it's not like there's not, they're obviously in competition. But Top Chef is generally not a show where we're getting a lot of, like, drama between the contestants. And I love when they kind of just like poke fun at each other. And it's like, no, like, we want some of that bread. Like, I want a couple slices.

Come on. This is the dynamic that I love. Top Chef just feels like a warm hug. And now we've got to make some warm fajitas. And they only have 45 minutes to shop and cook, which is very stressful to me. Because when you're in a farmer's market like that or like any kind of like food hall or where there's a lot of different like stalls and booths and whatever places to look, it's like, I need 30 minutes just to figure out like where I am.

Like I need like first of all on this show, I always think it's like it would take me so long. to come up with like an idea. And then the actually going around to the farmer's market and like getting what you want, they only have 45 minutes and Ashley takes 20 whole minutes shopping for her dish. Like that really, I mean, I knew right then and there that she was going to have trouble because everybody else has started cooking like 10 minutes before her. We have some interesting fajita things happening. Buddha and Jay are both going a little bit of a Korean route. Demar is trying to do a little Caribbean flare. He's using mango. You know, lots of different stuff happening. Evelyn feels very confident. She's really getting to flex a lot in this show. You know, she's from

Houston. A lot of these, like, Hispanic inspired challenges are right up her alley. But yeah, this episode, honestly, it's a little bit of a cluster fuck. Like the last few episodes, it feels like the weak dishes have kind of not actually been that rough. They're just kind of like the least strong. But in this quick fire, two out of six people, Jay and Ashley both don't get all the components on the plates for Claudette and Padma. Jay's Korean crepe doesn't make it. Ashley doesn't get her salsa. Obviously, they're not going to win. They don't love DeMars salsa. It's like too sweet. Nick, the Mississippi baker, ends up winning. He gets 10K more and he's just rolling out the dough. You know, he's swimming in bread. And I love that for him. Nick was one of those people where

in the competition. I feel like I didn't really, he didn't register with me as somebody that I should be like paying attention to. But now I feel like this episode and we'll get into it in the elimination challenge. I think we're starting to see like he's really up there. He's gotten a lot of great feedback. He's won a bunch of things. I think Buddha obviously is in the top. I think he, like his technique and everything is just really impressive. And then I also think Evelyn is in the top. I, Evelyn might be my, Evelyn might be my personal favorite now. And I don't know if I knew that before this week.

I've really enjoyed her, but I feel like thinking about if she won in Houston, like I would sob. I mean, I'll probably cry no matter what. Because I did cry later in this episode when Nick is talking about his gumbo. Top Chef does something to me where I was watching this. And I'm literally like doing something else as I'm watching. I'm paying attention though. I'm taking notes, whatever.

Like, there's a lot going on. And then I realized that Nick is, like, talking about this, like, Mississippi gumbo. And I'm, like, getting choked up. And I'm like, what the hell is wrong with me? What is it? What do they put in this show to make this happen to me? So good. So good.

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They are at NASA headquarters, very cool. It's a Houston thing. Obviously, we knew there had to be a space challenge. They have to make a dish for astronauts that would travel well in space. So it has to, the sauces, have to be thick enough, that they're not liquid flying around to the air. They can't have anything that has a lot of crumbs. We hear they meet with some astronauts. We hear that they don't use a lot of salt in their food because that contributes to bone loss. A lot to think about. And one of those things where it's like, we've all had the like freeze dried ice cream or like freeze dried strawberries, whatever. But it's like, that's not like what they eat for every meal.

Like they have like food. They're not just eating like crackers for two years because they're talking about going on a mission to Mars, which I'm like, Is that happening? Are we doing that? I don't know if that's real. Like, I feel like the whole, like, sending people to Mars thing, I'm sure somebody's working on it

in, like, a lab somewhere, but, like, it's been quiet. We haven't sent somebody to the moon in, like, what, like 40 years? I don't even know. Don't talk to me about time. Like, that's not my job. But I guess we're sending people to Mars

and the winning dish is also gonna get sent to Mars. Like, I'm like, is there a contract there? Because like, I don't know if that's actually happening. Like, we'll see. Are they sending people to Mars? That's wild. I don't think they are. I can't think about this anymore. But so, anyway, after their FaceTime session with the International Space Station, they get into cooking their dishes. We found out that, did we know that Buddha had a wife? Was this news to anyone else but me? This was news to me. Buddha has a wife,

and apparently she's a pastry sous chef. So he's making a Pavlova that's like a tribute to her. It's in the shape of like a golf ball. He's naming it after Apollo 14. Love all the thought going into that. Evelyn notices there's not a lot of Mexican food happening. So she's making this gisoto hos stew with pork and pumpkin seeds. There's a lot of creativity happening. Ashley gets the most creative, I would say. She really gets into like the space, space food of it all. and like, okay, like, when you're floating around in that little space station or like the Mars, Mars rover, I don't know. I don't know how that works. She's like, okay, you're going to have the tuna and the shrimp in a tin. And then you're going to have the slaw in a little Ziploc bag.

And then you're going to have pruning shears. Those are not like scissors. Those are like big ass shears on every plate. And you're going to like cut it and then put the slat and then do the thing. and I'm like, I love the process. It's a little bit like everybody else was like plating their dish. And she's like, well, I put the scissors in the tin and the bag on the plate. Like, I like the thought behind it, but also it's kind of like with Top Chef, it's like, no, but you, the point is that it's supposed to look pretty.

I don't know. I don't know. Nick makes a Mississippi gumbo, which looks fucking delicious. It has beans in it. And I went to, I went to college in Louisiana. So I've had a fair amount of gumbo. But Tom points out that beans are not something that's in a lot of Louisiana gumbo. And I'm like, hell yeah, I want beans in the gumbo. I love beans. That sounds delicious. Jay goes the Korean route.

Again, she's making bulgogi with barley. This is like what her mom cooks for her. Demar's doing like a chicken and rice situation. I got to say, we're seeing, we see a trend start to emerge. And that is that the same, we have the same bottom three as the quick fire. it's the fact that there are only six people, you know, it's three and three. It's very, you can't hide. There's no safe. There's no whatever. And so the fact that we have Evelyn, Buddha, and Nick in the top three again, you're running out of room. You know, you're running out of space. And so that means, of course, that we have Ashley, Jay and Demar in the bottom again. Jay's beef was just like super mushy and the barley was apparently undercooked. She, disagrees. Damar's chicken and rice, the rice was overcooked. They, they didn't like either of these dishes. Ashley's, I think they, the presentation saved her because they were like, you, you were creative. The food wasn't as good as the idea, but like, whatever. Also like poaching tuna in coconut water. That sounds nasty to me. Like, do we do that? Is that a thing?

I don't know. Tell me if that's a thing. in a five-star review. Tell me if that's a thing. I don't know. I don't know. Jay ends up going home. And I felt bad. I think I kind of thought Damar was going to go home just because I felt like Demar out of the three of them in the bottom kind of has had like the weakest track record. But I don't know if that's like technically true. I'm really bad about keeping up with like who has what wins. But in general, I think, you know, it is what it is. There's last chance kitchen. and on the other end of the spectrum, they love Evelyn, Buddha, and Nick's dishes. Like, everybody just, everybody just, like, they understood the assignment.

And Buddha wins the challenge with his Pavlova, that there's, like, a surprise inside. And I feel like he was kind of the opposite end of Ashley, where he did something specific to, like, a space interactive concept. But it was, like, exciting and fun, and it worked, whereas, like, Ashley's was almost, like, a little bit too utilitarian. and like tell me how I'm going to eat it in space, but don't put the plastic bag on my plate. I feel like plastic bags don't go on the plate. I think that can be a rule.

Take it out of the Ziploc bag before it gets to me. Is that too much to ask? I don't know. Before I go, my favorite moment, though, is when the judges walk into the kitchen and there's a rover and Gail goes, can we ride it? Gail wants to ride the rover. I would pay so much money to see Gail riding the rover. That's a lie. I wouldn't pay anything, but I would love to see it.

I would love to see it. Is there a deleted scene of that? Did they let her ride it? Please tell me they let her ride it. Oh my God, you guys, I gotta go. Thank you so much for listening. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow the show wherever you listen. We love those five-star reviews. So if you're in the mood, if you feel so inclined, just do it.

your worst. Also, don't forget to check out our new Bravo merch at betches.com slash bravo merch. Very easy to remember. You can follow us on Instagram at Bravo by Betches. And until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mention It All is produced by Sean Kilby and Jorge Morales Pico. Editing by Sean Kilby. Social media by Dylan Hafer. Guest booking by Nicole Pellegrino. Be sure to follow at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter. Pay off your home, travel for life, drive a Ferrari.

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