Mention It All - Gorgeous Gorgeous Girls Love Top Chef (Top Chef Premiere)

Episode Date: March 4, 2022

Dylan hops on the mic for a solo mini-episode, where he dives into the season premiere of Top Chef. He analyzes what makes Top Chef such an outstanding show, and what this season has in store. Plus, he has some strong words for a contestant who needs to stop complaining. And earlier in the episode, he unpacks the wild sponsored content Denise Richards posted on Ash Wednesday. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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With Dylan Hafer. We'll go check me, though. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Mention at All podcast. I'm Dylan Hafer, and today I am joined by me, myself, and I. We're trying out something a little different. We're going to do some solo mini episodes on Fridays. The main reason being, you guys, I want to do something.

to talk about Top Chef and not everybody else does, but, you know, I know some of you do and that's okay. So we're going to do quick little solo mini episodes on Fridays, talking about this week's episode of Top Chef and any other random happenings in the world of Bravo that we maybe just didn't get to on the other three episodes we do in the week. There's always so much going on. And today, before we get to Top Chef, which the premiere was great. If you haven't watched it, honestly, go check it out. Top Chef is such an underrated show in the Bravo stable. I don't know why I'm speaking in hoarse terms, but Top Chef just, it just makes me happy. It's so well done every season. I'll get to it. But first, you know what's not well done? I want to talk about Denise Richards' is Ash Wednesday

sponsored content. I posted a video of it on my Instagram at Dylan Hafer, so you can go check it out if you missed this wild Instagram story that Denise posted on Wednesday. She's showing for something called the Hallow app, which is apparently a meditation app used by two million Catholics and Christians around the world. And, you know, Denise's faith journey, happy for her, I hope it's going well. But the production quality in this sponsored content, Denise, I don't mean this in a negative way about her appearance as a person, but at least in this video, it's giving reheated corpse. It's giving hasn't seen the sun in a year. You know, she has kind of that Britney Spears eyeliner situation.

where it looks like maybe she hasn't had a makeup wipe access in a few years. And she's talking about how for it's Ash Wednesday, which she explains is the beginning of the Christian 40-day observance leading up to Easter, which is very exciting. I think most of us probably know that. And they're doing this pray 40 challenge on the app where you're supposed to pray for all 40 days. It's great because meditating is hard. But basically this video just has blown my mind.

Please go watch it. I was relieved when I posted it that people kind of seem to have a similar reaction to me because my number one fear is that people are going to be like, why are you calling her out for her beliefs? And it's not about her beliefs. It is about this fucking wild video. But now that I've ranted about Denise Richards for like two minutes, let's get into the main event we're here to talk about Top Chef. We are in Houston this season. I am so excited.

It feels like they do such a good job of choosing location. that have like a rich cultural background and lots of diversity going on. And they always do such a good job with diversity, not just in casting the show. We have, you know, lots of people of color, men, women. You know, they always do a great job with that. But also choosing, planning the challenges, planning the guest judges, planning their trips that they're taking and their different excursions. It always feels like there is so much thought that goes into planning Top Chef.

And that's one of the reasons that I think it kind of rises above the level of your average competition reality show. And let me tell you, when we open this season, I feel like I'm right back at home. I have Padma in my ear telling me who the $250,000 cash prize is furnished by, San Pellegrino, by the way. We have our fleet of matching BMWs driving the contestants to Whole Foods. Love to see it. You know, we have Padma, Tom, Gail, all carrying the flag doing a great.

great job. And one thing that I loved about last season, and I'm so glad they're continuing it, even though we're in less quarantini times, is bringing back Top Chef All-Stars as guest judges. I thought that was brilliant last season during the pandemic. They couldn't really be, you know, flying people in and out. And this season, they're doing kind of a scaled back version. So on this first episode, the first time the contestants walk in the kitchen, we have Padma standing there with Don Borell, who was one of my faves last year. And then later in the episode, we get Kristen Kish, who I also love. I just feel like they really understand the assignment at Top Chef, and they are good at sort of incorporating all the

things we want to see. And we have all of these new contestants who Padma tells us right off the bat are all very accomplished. We have James Beard nominees. We have Michelin Star Chef. It is, I just can't. Like, the thing about Top Chef is that every single person in that kitchen is like so good at what they do. And I feel like a lot of reality shows, even if it's people who are like professionals in their field, it's like, okay, this is like a motley crew. Where did you find these people? Like you would have to be a little bit desperate to actually apply for the show. But with Top Chef, there's something about it where it feels like all of these people are like actually legit. And it doesn't feel desperate to go on Top Chef. And I think that's

important. But so right away, we go into a quick fire where they have to draw knives and pair up into teams of three. And the challenge is that they have to, they have 30 minutes to incorporate all three of their cooking styles into a dish. But the catch is that each person only gets to work for 10 minutes and then they have to switch out and they can't talk to each other about what they're doing. So it's really kind of strategic. We see a lot of the people in the first group sort of just trying to like prep something that then the other person can really, you know, just like pick up and start working on. But to mixed results, I mean, we see with one team, we see with the brown team that, you know, like one guy makes the pork and then he like leaves it somewhere for the next

guy to pick up. And then he like can't find it. So there ends up being no pork in the final dish. It's honestly pretty chaotic. If these quickfires always stress me the fuck out because I'm like, it takes me 30 minutes to like make pasta. Like I feel like when they send a meal kit and it's like 30 minutes, I'm like, okay, great. So like this is going to take me an hour. I love the confidence, but it's just not happening for me. One thing that I love right off the bat is that we are getting a little bit of messiness and trickery because this guy Jackson tells us that he had COVID a month ago.

And he lost his sense of smell and taste as many do when they're. have COVID, and that those senses have not fully returned. So he is on a group challenge, basically not being able to smell or taste anything, which let me just remind you, that's kind of important in a show like Top Chef. And he is not telling anyone. This is like, oh my God, this is the drama. This is the mess. I live for this. And I feel like on Top Chef because it's, there's been like drama in the past, of course. It's not like there's never been, you know, conflict or tension, but it tends to be a pretty, like, supportive, encouraging group. You know, you're like, oh, can I borrow your black pepper?

And they're like, sure, just return it to my station when you're done. Like, oh, yes, chef, yes, what can I do for you? We're all helping each other out. Like, let me help you plate. Generally, everybody's kind of like patting each other on the back. And for Jackson to go into this competition, lying through his teeth about being able to taste food, I just, I'm going. I'm kind of here for it.

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And even though the blue team got fully nothing on the plate, it was devastating. And, you know, Luke is the one who said that he worked at the world's best restaurant in Copenhagen, I think, for like eight years. So it's like, sir, what's up? But so obviously the blue team is on the bottom because you kind of need to serve Padma some food. But brown and yellow are the tops. And yellow wins, meaning they get immunity for the elimination challenge. I'm really into the people on the yellow team. It's Buddha, Joe, and Monique, and I'm loving all of them.

And Buddha, he is really on it. And we go to the Elimination Challenge, which is beef-themed. They're staying in their teams of three, and they choose a primal cut. And I'm like, me watching this. I'm like, okay, like, which one's a steak? The thing with cuts of beef is that it's like, I, I could, like, name a bunch of different ones, but the words are, like, so fully meaningless to me. I'm like, okay, I know there, like, filet mignon, I know is, like, good.

And then, obviously, there's, like, ribs. And then all the other ones, I feel like are just words, like, sirloin, top roast, like, pork, I don't, no. Not me thinking pork chop is a type of beef. Okay, so maybe I can't name that many. Strip steak, skirt steak, phalanx steak. There we go. My brain just kicked in. It's early.

But the thing is with this, it's like the cuts don't really mean that much to me, except for I feel like there are some that are definitely like less desirable and are more of like, oh, like, how can I work with this to make it into a dish that Tom Colicchio is not going to, like, spit out on the fucking plate? because there's, you know, later in the challenge, Kristen Kish tells one of the contestants that she had to spit out her bite because it was like sinewy. And that is like, the thing with this show is that I am so bad at cooking and I cook so seldom, let's be honest, that watching these people do like the simplest task on Top Chef

is still mind-blowingly impressive to me. So then when you put in all this effort, they have two and a half hours to make these dishes, they have to be cohesive, blah, blah, blah. When you spend that two and a half hours and you're serving it to these judges, and for them to tell you that they had to spit out your food on the plate, I would need to enter witness protection. I simply couldn't handle that type of feedback. I mean, you all have feedback for me sometimes, and it's like, oh, stop saying you know,

and I'm like, yeah, I know. But nobody's ever telling me that they had to like spit my podcast back out on the plate. Like that cuts to the core. But overall, I did really enjoy this challenge. I just want to shout out my worst of all time for this week, my vote. It has to be Stephanie on the Red team. And Stephanie, bless her heart, is from North Dakota, which sounds lovely, never been there. But she tells us multiple times that she grew up eating beef, eating steak, like three times a week.

and where she's from, steak is served with a baked potato. So she's, like, frustrated because the other two women in her group want to do Asian-inspired dishes. And she's like, ah, well, I want to make a pasta, but I don't, ah. And then she's saying when they're at the grocery store, when they're at the whole, sponsored by Whole Foods, clearly, I love it. She's like, all I wanted to do was make Italian food. And then later, she's complaining again about not being able to make a potato.

And it's like, okay, first of all, pick a struggle. Like, do you want to make steak and potatoes or do you want to make like steak Italian whatever? And then second of all, I just have to say, Robert, who won the fucking challenge, made Nyoki. That's a potato. That's Italian. Like, I just think there's a way she, Stephanie, to me, she got saved because the other people on her team were worse. Leo goes home. But it's like if you are gonna, if you're gonna like make a thing of it, then like actually figure out what you can do. Like you could make a noki with some Asian flavoring. I mean, she didn't even end up putting the braised bok choy on the plate. So at the end of the day, it was, it ended up being pointless because there wasn't even anything

Asian about her dish. Like I just think on a show like this, if you are like super uncomfortable with what you're making, we've seen this time and time again. Like obviously you're going to be pushed out of your comfort zone Now and then but if you are like I can't cook this or like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing Wouldn't it be better to put out like of banging steak and potatoes that you are like oh I like added like some soy sauce and then it's like I don't Stephanie was bothering me a little bit but Leah ends up being the bigger mess on the team because she gives them this summer roll that looked honestly kind of nasty like I don't want steak in a summer roll. I want like, honestly, probably just veggies. Like, it's, it's the kind of thing where when the challenge is, like, the steak is supposed, or the beef or whatever is supposed to be,

like, the star of the show, why would you make a dish that I would normally, if I was, like, ordering at a Thai restaurant and I was like, ooh, like a summer roll, if there were, like, six options of proteins or even just veggies, like, beef would probably be the last one I would pick. I would be like, maybe I want, like, shrimp or pork or chicken or chicken or tofu or veggies. Like, literally, I just named five things that I would order before a beef summer roll. And that's for somebody who is, like, not qualified to be a judge on Top Chef, that seems like a problem. I did not realize I would get this heated about Top Chef, you guys. But so anyway, the Brown team ends up being the top team, which is Jackson, Robert, and Sarah.

They all did a great job. Jackson made a Tar-Tar that they loved. Robert, like I said, did that Nyoki, which it looked like it was not going to go well. The thing is he was cooking his beef in a pressure cooker, which when they only have two and a half hours is always dice. But when it works, when it's right, it's right. Like the girls who get it, get it. The girls who don't, don't. And Robert's pressure cooker decided to get it. And good for him. But yeah, this, so Leo goes home. She'll be on top of our last chance kitchen. Overall, this was really an Outstanding Premiere. I think this season is going to be so much fun. And I can't wait to see it unfold. And I can't wait to talk about it with all of you. And if you like Top Chef and you want to

hear more about Top Chef, throw mention it all a five-star rating and review and let me know because I know these episodes are probably going to be a little more niche, but I want to hear from me if it's something you like. If you have other ideas for what you would like to hear in like a bonus episode, if you want more rants about Denise Richards, sponsor content, please let me know. But in the meantime, just rate, review, follow the show, you know, follow on Instagram at Bravo by Betches. If you're still listening to this, you're a real one. But yeah, just be cool. Don't be all like, uncool. Mention It All is produced by Sean Kilby and Jorge Morales Pico. Editing by Sean Kilby. Social media by Dylan Hafer. Guest Booking by Nicole Pellegrino. Be sure to follow at

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