Mention It All - Is The Valley Better Than Pump Rules?

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

It’s been a minute since we had a solo catchup, and Dylan wastes no time getting into the latest news in the saga of Larsa and Marcus. And while we’re on the subject, why on earth is Miami filming delayed?? After spiraling for a few minutes, Dylan heads west to LA, where Jo’s presence on Vanderpump Rules is a continued source of confusion. Later, it’s time to talk about The Valley, which is working for one key reason that Dylan breaks down. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ha ha, laugh, funny. Mention It All, a Bravo by Betches podcast. We don't say that, but now we said it. With me, Dylan Hafer. We're going to check me, though. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Mention at All podcast. I'm Dylan Hafer, and it has been a minute since we had a little solo one-on-one catch-up like this.

And boy, do we sorely need it. There is a lot to talk about, and we're going to get into just about all of it today. first of all, if you're not following the podcast, if you're not subscribed, we have got some great stuff coming up. I have had a really just a fun run of guests. Last week, I had Mia Thornton, Katie Maloney, Jordan Emmanuel from Summerhouse, Martha's Vineyard was just on the podcast a couple days ago. That season two is off to a crackling start. I'm excited to kind of check in throughout the season there. I recorded a fun episode a couple of days ago with two of my favorite content creators, fellow podcasters, Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson. They have a podcast called Camp Counselors. That's a lot of fun. But we talked about a lot of different Bravo topics, including the Real Housewives of Potomac casting updates.

Candice, of course, announcing her departure and Robin's departure rumored. So that's going to come out tomorrow. Make sure you're subscribed following whatever the fuck they call it now. So you don't miss that because it was a very fun conversation. We talked about lots of different stuff. But specifically, the Potomac News is going to be gotten. too. It's going to be gotten to there. God, I

am, I'm recording at home today for the first time in a second. I've been a creature of the stew lately. Very la-la, Sheena, James Kennedy, you know, I'm living in the stew. But the one fucking day I'm recording at home, there's a jackhammer outside

my window. A drill of some sort. They're like breaking the sidewalk into pieces. Should I move to the valley? Do they, do they, Do they drill the sidewalks in the valley? I, look, because the lovely Katie Maloney was on the podcast last Wednesday, I have not had a chance to talk about the Valley since it premiered. And oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I am, I'm sort of in a state of shock.

I'm feeling like I'm having a physical reaction, maybe like a psychosomatic type of, reaction. It's been a long time since I took AP psychology in 12th grade, but I don't know if that's the appropriate term. I hope it, I, I can't get into it. But we're two episodes into the valley and I, I kind of don't have notes. Like, I, I've taken notes while I'm watching because I'm a professional, but like, no notes in the sense of like, I don't have notes to give them. I'm I'm pleasantly surprised. I'm nothing, if not entertained. We'll get into a little bit more.

We have Real Housewives of... No, we have Vanderpupup Roles to talk about it. I'm like, Real Housewives, what's that? It barely exists anymore. Potomac, it's reunion time. Beverly Hills is over. Miami's over. Salt Lake City, long gone.

New York, not filming yet. Atlanta, sounds like not filming yet. We've got Jersey and Dubai in the pipeline. Orange County is filming. I hope they I hope they like rush Orange County a little bit because it's going to be a dry summer. But I feel like I have more stuff to talk about than ever.

Because Top Chef started last week. Who was going to tell me that? I knew, but who was going to tell me? Now, I know the last couple seasons of Top Chef I've done weekly recaps. I'm not sure that's in the cards for this season. But I am going to be watching. I am going to be checking in.

So I think as we sort of move into this springtime of less housewives on the air and more kind of other shows happening. There are guests coming in. We've got a lot of different stuff to talk about. The schedule might be a little bit less rigid from week to week. No, I shouldn't say that. The episode schedule won't change. You'll be getting your, mostly, you'll be getting your something to chew on three times a week. Don't worry. But the content schedule within those episodes might be a little bit looser.

We've had a lot of unexpected developments coming up lately. I mean, who would have thought I'd spend so much time talking about buying Beverly Hills, which I still have not watched anything besides the clips that have been posted? Who would have thought? I couldn't have seen that coming. I didn't want to talk about it. Under duress, I felt like I had to. Which, by the way, buying Beverly Hills is out now,

and Kyle's mentioning it all on the show that she'd, doesn't get paid to be on. Well, she probably does, but suffice to say, I'm pissed. But first, before we get into the Vanderpump of it all, see, this is like a free-flowing, we're all friends here, we all, we all know the drill. We have some updates to talk about with Real Housewives of Miami. And first of all, I don't think I've addressed the fact yet that Larsa and Marcus are reportedly looking like they are broken up for real now. Remember, it was just a, maybe six weeks ago that they had their, uh, their Super Bowl Sunday,

sub tweets, break up rumors. Then they were seen together like two days later on Valentine's Day. Bullshit, whatever. But now they are split again and they are talking about it. It seems like it's real. Larsa went on, I'm going to try to say this with a straight face. She went on Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes's podcast.

If you, if you have somehow managed to keep your timelines pure of these two people, Amy and T.J. are the Good Morning America, I think the third hour of Good Morning America anchors that were cheating on their respective spouses together. And then when it became public, they left ABC News. And now they have launched a podcast together. This is their big next chapter. And the podcast, near as I can tell, they talk about it a lot on one of my favorite podcasts, Who Weekly. So if you want the actual details on TJ and Amy, go listen to Who Weekly.

But they have a podcast that's kind of just about whatever. They're not reporting the news. They're not, I don't know. But Larsa was on this podcast and she said that Marcus wasn't her, quote, guy. And Marcus had thoughts about this. He posted on an Instagram story, which a since deleted Instagram story, according to page 6. Quote, I wasn't born last night. Rewriting history for clout is not cute.

Funny how people change. Just to be a part of a conversation that's irrelevant. Why give Shorty a heart when she rather have press? Ooh, that's nerve. Why give Shorty a heart when she rather have press? Marcus Jordan. The word smith that you. you are. Damn! I mean, did he lie? Did he lie? This is, this is so wild to me because Larsa and

Marcus are this couple that they've been, they were together for a total of less than two years. But once they finally, once Larsa finally admitted that they were actually together, it was like soulmates, this is my guy, this is what's meant to be, how dare anyone have questions, right or die. This is my, my man, my friend, my soul made my sister in the words of Vicki Gunvilsson. Not the sister part, but. And then it ends. And so quickly, it's exactly what we always thought it was going to be, which is some reality star mess on podcasts, in tabloids, on Instagram stories. It's so funny that Larsa is like a. 50-year-old woman who clearly this is what she wants. And when I say she's a 50-year-old woman,

I don't mean that she's like old. I mean that she is grown. She's a mother of adult children. And this breakup is becoming the, you know, circus mess that we all kind of always thought it was going to be. But I think Larsa almost had me fooled. Like watching this. season of housewives, I was kind of ready to give it to her when she's like, I know people don't understand, but like, it just works. We're so happy. He's my baby. I'm like, he is your baby. But now he's like, fuck this. If she wants to go on a podcast and say that I like wasn't there for her, I'm going to go on my Instagram story and call her a cloud chaser. Just like, I mean, everybody else has done it. Why not me? And I mean, I mean,

realistically, do I think that Larsa and Marcus could come back from this? Yes. Because they are who they are. And tigers don't really change their stripes. I mean, like, Larsa's a 50-year-old tiger who's been, Cougar, sorry, tiger, sorry, who's been in this game for as long as Marcus has been alive, literally. She knows how to get what she wants.

And if what she wants is a better storyline next season or, you know, some more attention. She's going to figure out how to get it. And I don't think that Marcus is like, I don't really know exactly what his deal is. At first, it seemed like he wasn't going to want to be on the show and then he clearly was down for that this year. I kind of feel like I'm not expecting them to get back together, but also if I am sitting here next week talking about how they're back together, I won't be that surprised. Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom Rack stores now and up to 60% off. Stock up and save on the brands you love like Vince, Sam Edelman, frame, and free people.

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And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. We got reports within the last week that Real Houselers of Miami might not start filming for their next season until the fall. Let me say that again. Until the fall. My friends, it is March right now. I don't know if the people at Bravo have messed up their calendars or have forgotten the order of the months or have don't have a good, a clear picture of what's in the pipeline, what they have ready to go. what on God's green earth are we doing holding Real Housewives of Miami?

One of the most reliable, most entertaining, most captivating franchises of the past few years until the fall? Truly, what are we doing here? If they want to give Potomac some time off after this season, regroup, figure things out, that would make sense. I feel they should probably do the same with Beverly Hills. I think that breathing room can be a good thing. But Miami already ended a month ago.

Nicole is about to pop with that baby any second. She had her shower. She looked lovely. Gertie is cancer-free. She's ready. She's on the war path. She's ready to come back. I just know it.

She's offering her support to Kate Middleton now that she has cancer. That's lovely. I don't understand why they would hold this show until the fall. And that's for filming. If they start filming in the fall, what, we're not going to get a new season of Miami until next summer, it doesn't make sense. This is one of the casts on Bravo that I most want to keep up with.

And I don't, I get that the fans don't always get exactly. exactly what they want and there are complicated reasons for that. But how many I need Andy and a camera memes do we have to post before they get Andy and a camera? It's very strange to me. I don't know if that's fully confirmed that they're waiting to the fall or if it's just, you know, conjecture for now, but I just don't, I don't get it. It doesn't seem like a, it doesn't seem like the smart decision to me. If they want to make some, some minor casting changes, I get it. They've had the same cast for three seasons, which I feel like is generally sort of like the maximum length that you can really go without switching anything up. But do it now. Start filming now. I got to move on because I'm getting too

upset. Van der Pumper Rules and the Valley. Look, I have this supersized episode of Vanderpumper Roles sitting before me and you know what's wild is that I kind of would rather talk about the Valley. And we can have both. You know, we can do hard things. With Vanderpump Rules this season, I actually think I am enjoying it more than some people that I talk to and some people that I'm seeing online who are very, very down on this season. And I do think that this season is average to slightly above average in terms of my interest level. I think that compared to the level of last season. Obviously, it's not quite as rich, but also I think that's, that was an unfair kind of bar to hold it to. But I think that there are specifically some things that I,

that I like can't stop thinking about with Vanderpump Rules this season. And part of that is what the fuck is going on with Sandoval's, you know, cast of characters that he's filming with. Because we have seen Billy Lee damn near every episode. episode. And Billy Lee is clearly somebody that had like an open, you know, production had her on speed dial. She's around pretty constantly. She's trying to set Tom up with her friend T. It just feels like so, I don't even have, or at least prior to the whole Scandival situation, I thought Billy Lee seemed cool. You know, the way she was treated in the past, when she was on the show, I thought was really unfortunate.

And, you know, I'm glad that she has friends and that she seems to be doing well. But the way that she has been deployed on this season of Annapumper Rules, it just, it just doesn't work. And the fact that it's happening over and over again and that we're sort of like moving forward in this territory, that at the end of the episode, when everybody's hanging out at Tom Tom or wherever, that Sandoval shows up after having been on a bowling date with tea. It's like this, I don't want to walk down this road. And then at the same time, we're getting further and further into Schwartz's relationship

with Joe, which, I mean, Joe is a fascinating presence on the show. and I feel like I could watch her from like a, like a sociology perspective and be really interested. But her position in the group or maybe lack thereof is quite strange because I didn't necessarily realize going into this season how much Joe was going to be around. I knew we would meet her and see her on the show. but since she was introduced two or three episodes ago,

she's like Schwartz's storyline. Like, they're filming multiple scenes together an episode. She's coming to group stuff. She's getting a confessional. She's at the reunion. And the event at Hotel Ziggy, where James and Allie invite her, you know, they want her to feel like she's welcome and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So she comes to this event and she has this perception that everybody fucking hates her and everybody's talking about her, which is not fully untrue. You know, that's, you know, she's not wrong. But she says that these women have bullied her and been horrible to her and that it's, you know, it's made her so miserable. And this is the point that I bump on a little bit because Joe has been on this show for like 2.5 days. And it's like if going into this experience, you are saying that these women have already made your life a living hell, why are you here? Why are you choosing to come into this arena? You could have a relationship with Schwartz or whatever kind of relationship that is, whether it's like a brother or like a like a like a like a like a like a like a like a brother. who, but you're not related so you can have sex.

Whatever that relationship is, and clearly that is a point of some disagreement, you can have that relationship with Schwartz and not be on the show, or only be on the show here and there once in a while with Schwartz. She clearly wants to be in this arena, but if you're, you kind of can't have it both ways. And I think that's the issue. It's like, Arianna lays out very clearly why she doesn't have any sympathy for Joe. She's saying, you knew this affair was happening the whole time.

You knew and you were perfectly content to hang around, to be around me, to be around me and my friends and my partner at the time and the woman that he was cheating on me with. And you had no issue with that and didn't feel compelled to say anything. you were quite literally not a girl's girl. And then six months later, Joe's like, I don't understand why they don't like me. And it's like because you had the opportunity to be the good friend or to sort of like work your way into the group and you chose the opposite route. If you're going to be on great terms with Sandoval and like hang around in your goofy hats,

your big trucker hats at a, a night out in L.A., then sort of, it's just like the, I don't know if that's the transitive property, it's like, if this, then that. Like, if you're friends with Sandoval, then you're not really going to be friends with Ariana. And so, I mean, in, in a way, I feel it's too bad that Joe's feelings are so hurt. Like, I don't, I never love to see anyone. one feel bullied and like leave a what's supposed to be a fun night in tears. But at the same time, it's kind of like, what did you think was going to happen?

Also, Sheena telling you that your hat looks stupid. She's doing you a favor. Sheena might not always be, um, sheena might not always be the best friend. She has 56 people's locations on her phone, but she might not always be the most, um, the person you want in your corner. but look, when she's telling you to take off the TomTom hat and show off those cute little braids that you have, do it. Listen, that's, see, that's a moment where you could be having a little bit of banter, having a little bit of breaking the ice with Sheena and, like, being like, oh, girl, like, you're so silly, but yeah, you're right. Thanks for looking out. Like, you have to walk before you run. You have to crawl before you walk. And it feels like Joe is just like sitting on the floor. expecting people to come to her and be like,

we're so sorry, we weren't like super nice to you when we found out that you knew that my boyfriend was cheating on me and didn't say anything, but like, now we can be besties. Joe needs to get with the program a little bit. She needs to give before she can get. Like, she needs to, she's coming to the potluck, not only with no dish that she brought,

but with like a sack of shit. And it's like, no, no, no. If you're coming to the potluck and you want people, to like like you at the potluck at the very least bring a bottle of wine. I've spent too long talking about this. Clearly I have a lot of feelings about Joe. Good sleep is everything. That's why Ali's science back support is made with a blend of melatonin and L-D-Ean for both kiddos and grown-ups. So when your mind won't switch off, you've got something that can help. You're racing thoughts and restless nights won't stand a chance.

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Own the dream. The most shocking moment in the trailer for the season was the reveal that Schwartz and Sheena made out in Vegas at some point in the past. And this week that comes out on the show, but it's a little bit of a weird, it's a little bit of a weird piece of information that is handled poorly and is passed around poorly. So basically Lala and Schwartz, they meet for juice, which is something one does in L.A., I suppose. They meet for juice. Schwartz says that he's on a sober bender, meaning that he hasn't drank for three days, and he's like drinking juice and meditating. I guess I'm like, you're sitting across from somebody who hasn't had a drink in four years.

Can you act normal, please? But he's trying to explain how everyone in the group has cheated and everyone in the group has made mistakes and he made out with Sheena in Vegas once. So he can't, he can't, like, quite pinpoint when it was. He says that it was like 12 years ago, which then Lala takes to Katie and says that it was a few years ago. And while I think that, I think that words like few and several or a handful or a bunch, they're not as specific as I'd like them to be, I do feel pretty strongly that,

12 years is not a few years. And so I think that Lala sort of does a little bit of a bad game of telephone there. But Katie obviously is like, wait, what? What is this? What? Katie talks to Sheena. Katie talks to Lisa. Like by the end of the episode, everybody has this piece of information.

Sheena says that it like wasn't a big deal. it was when she was dating Shea but also like it, they didn't really make out. Sheena does her kind of like classic like caught off guard, but also like I'm going to say this in a way that makes it sound like it's not a big deal and then you're not going to be mad at me, right? And Katie's kind of like, no, I still. She's like even if it wasn't like a big deal on paper, like it still is weird that after all of these years and you being my bridesmaid and us being like close forever that it just never came up

because clearly sheena and schwartz both remember it it's not like oh they blacked out in Vegas and none of them know what happened but maybe something did happen but maybe it didn't it's like no this is clearly like something you've talked about or that has come up so i sort of see both sides I mean i don't think that this is like a massive deal but also I get that katie feels like there's a lot of stuff in her relationship with Schwartz that was handled really poorly on his end, and that this is sort of like another thing to add to the pile, and that it sucks that even two years now after their separation, more stuff is still coming out where she's like, damn, like, I already had my list of reasons, and there was still stuff I didn't know.

Like that, I get why it stings. And particularly for Sheena to not say anything, then we do get late. later in the episode. Maybe Katie's not keeping her side of the street super clean either. Case in point, hooking up with Max Boyens. And can we just, what is in the air with Max Boyans the last week? Because Rachel Raquel on her podcast last week said she was naming names and she listed off a bunch of people who she says either knew about her affair with Sandoval or saw things that should have made them suspicious or should have asked questions or. or whatever. Max was one of the people on her list. Max on Instagram was basically like, can you get a life and leave me alone? But this is Max, if you recall, who was on Vanderpump Rules in season nine, I think it was, the cursed season with like 25 people in the cast,

and then he got fired for racist tweets. Why are we going back to this place? If these people want to still see him in their normal lives, look, I don't. I don't have control over that. But why are we, why is it becoming a storyline? And why does Sheena have everyone's location? Actually, no, I'm not confused about that. That makes a lot of sense, but whatever.

I do feel like this, this Brett, or Brett, see, Brett was the other one on that season. Max and Brett were like twins. Not actually, but I feel like this Katie and Max thing, I don't care as much as they want me to. I feel like the Sheena and Schwartz thing, I don't care as much as they want me to. Like, some of these moments are really interesting, and some of them, I think, are being sort of

overplayed because they don't have the kind of bombshells that they did last season. And so, I mean, watching Tom do his, like, breathwork exercise where he's having, like, a screaming orgasm on the floor with, like, a DJ looking over him with headphones on, that I, um, I do find compelling in a disturbing way. But I think that some of the interpersonal drama is like not quite landing. And I think that's sort of just like

that's kind of just how this season is trending. That it's like I don't actually think it's terrible. I don't think it's unwatchable at all. I don't think that it's like the worst season they've had. I think that it's just like a little bit it's like landing with not a thud but also not super

graceful, but just kind of like, it's like not a landing that anyone would applaud for. And I mean, you shouldn't anyway, but whatever. Okay, can we talk about the Valley? The Valley, when they put out that first teaser, I don't know if they knew what they were doing, but they set the expectations for this show in hell. The bar was in the basement. It was a show that I was like, do I even have to watch the first episode of this,

let alone keep up with the season, let alone talk about it on the podcast, let alone maybe have some of them on as guests, TBD, I don't know. Then the Jackson-Britney split news came out. My interest was peaked. Then they put out that second trailer that was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, this might be something. And after watching the first two episodes,

I'm not going to like blow smoke up anyone's ass. It's not like it's the best show I've ever seen, but it's entertaining. The cast is a little bit, it's a little bit robust. I think they could have, I think they could have cast like two less people maybe, but also I'm still figuring out like everyone's names, everyone's dynamics. In addition to Jackson, Brittany, Michelle and Danny, no, Michelle and Jesse are separated now. And they, um, if you're watching the show, if you've watched even five minutes of the show, you can see why. Michelle, congratulations, girl.

Get out of there. Secure the bag. Secure the baby. Get, get as far away as you can because Jesse seems like bad news. You know who I'm loving is Janet? Janet is like nine months pregnant, signing on to film a reality show in the middle of the summer in, like, the hottest part of Los Angeles. She is, um, she's one of our strongest soldier.

and I really am enjoying her presence. She and Zach, the gay guy, have both pointed out that Jacks and Kristen have slept together in the past and now refer to themselves as like a brother and a sister, which is, again, disturbing. So I love that this cast is like aware of kind of what came before them. Janet in particular seems a little more down to earth, maybe like a little bit less delusional about certain things, which I'm enjoying. And then we have Kristen.

Kristen's relationship situation is so troubling to me. Because this guy, this guy that she's with, Luke, it's not good. And I say that not knowing any more than what we've seen on the show. But the fact that this is a man who openly says on camera, mind you, that his life is still 99% in Colorado, where he currently lives. Meanwhile, Kristen is about to have a baby with him, or wants to have a baby with him,

is speaking about having a baby with him. But, oh my God. Molly, you in danger, girl. It's just not adding up. And then Jack's chaos agent that he is, is like insistent on bringing Kristen's ex around the group. And I think that this is,

this is why I'm enjoying this show more than I thought I might, Because I don't think anybody that is working behind the scenes on this show is concerned with making Jacks and Kristen look good. And I think that when reality stars get a spin-off, the concern is always that they're going to actually have too much control and that it's going to turn into sort of like image propaganda bullshit where they're too concerned with how they look. They don't want it to be unflattering toward them. But I think that with Jacks and Brittany and Kristen, they're not in a Lisa Vanderpump position getting this spinoff. They're in a position where their one true goal in life was to be on TV again.

They did not leave Vanderpump rules on their own terms. They did not have millions of opportunities waiting for them after they left that show. I think that they were willing to do just about anything to get back on TV. And because of that, they have signed a lot of it. up for a show that at its core kind of makes them look bad. It's clear that Jacks is still just as like much of a conniving dog as he always has been. It's clear that Kristen still doesn't quite have her shit together. Brittany, jury is still out like home girls trying to get out of there maybe. I applaud her, I guess. But I think that if this show had come on and

It was just like, look at Jackson, Kristen, and Brittany's perfect little life in the valley, and they're perfect little friends. And it was like, you know, we're just like moving Barbie dolls around the map. I think that would have been, you know, pretty hard to stomach. But watching this, I'm like, no, that's not what this is. And thank God. And I'm excited to keep watching it because it just feels like they're sort of like a, like a little bit of like a ticking time bomb energy to it.

obviously with Brittany and Jacks's situation, it seems like there's going to be some developments there. Kristen and Luke are still together, it looks like, on social media and stuff now. But, you know, if this show gets a second season, if this show gets a reunion, I feel like there is, I feel like there's ground to be covered here. And I don't know how much we're going to cover. I don't know if it's going to stay kind of at this level that it's felt so far. but I am along for the ride reluctantly, but here we are. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for following the show, subscribing, whatever. You can follow us on Instagram at Bravo by Betches.

And in the meantime, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mention It All is produced by Dylan Hafer and Shannon Sassone. Editing by Shannon Sassone. Social media by Dylan Hafer. Guest booking by Allie Friedlander. Be sure to follow. at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter.

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