Mention It All - Michelle Collins Reacts to Bronwyn & Todd’s “Sinister” Marriage on RHOSLC Ft. Michelle Collins

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

On this week’s video episode, Dylan is joined by Comedian and Bravo superstan Michelle Collins and she is ready to dive in deep. We spiral into Todd & Bronwyn’s marriage on RHOSLC and breakdown how Todd may be the most sinister househusband across all of the Bravo universe. She also gives her take on Lisa Barlow’s unhinged behavior this season. Is she like, okay? Michelle also reveals her theory on what is going on with Dr. Wendy Osefo. We thought she was smarter than this! (and she’s told us multiple times too). Plus, Dylan soothes Michelle’s BravoCon nerves and she reveals who she is trying to avoid. Go to the BravoByBetches YouTube page to watch full length episodes every Tuesday: Youtube.com/@BravoByBetches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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See Store Online for details. Hey everyone, welcome back to the Mention It All podcast. I am so excited to be joined today by a new guest to the show. But if you're a Bravo fan, I'm sure you have seen her around. She's a podcaster, a host, a comedian. She does it all. Michelle Collins. Welcome. What a pleasure to join you on your beautiful show and this beautiful studio, my ad. Oh, thank you. I built it with my own two hands. What a strong hands you have. Start off with compliments. Well, welcome, welcome. How's it going in the life of Michelle Collins? I've had a very trying 48 hours or 20. 24, let's call it. Okay. I'll tell it quick, two hours from now. I'll wrap. If that's okay, I don't know how long this show is. I don't have a hard out. So just, just go. My favorite words, that to me, that's like cellar door to me. I'm like no hard out. I'm so happy. So yesterday, I'm staying in Midtown in a hotel that I always stay at. That's like an airport hotel, but I kind of like that. Okay. I like kind of shitty hotels. I don't need like a fancy bar.

I'm just like, give me a good bed, good shower, happy. It's across from the Italy Cafe in Midtown. there's like a littler Eagley. Yeah, they just, I think that's new. Like Rockefeller Center kind of here. It's a mob scene. You walk in there. It's like pizza Coachella.

Like everyone is just like, you can't move. Everyone's on top of each other. So I'm waiting patiently in line. And there was a woman that I noticed, little lady long witch hair, gray like crazy hair, who is very close to me. And I'm like very sensitive to lines and order and justice. Yeah.

I need space. I will passive aggressively move away from you. I will look at you. I'm like, why are you my backpack? It's like Chewbacca. Yes. With the little thing. You know what I'm talking about?

C3PO. Anyway, so I saw her and she kept, it was kind of genius because she kept going around people to like see what was in the cases, like, oh, the facchas and everything. But literally right up on people. And I'm like, something's going on here. Anyway, I pay. I go. I wait for coffee.

And I'm so anal when it comes to theft. Like when I go to London and I spend. a lot of time in London. I'm Rambo in London. I have a crossbody. Everything is hooked to that strap. My wallet, my phone. You are not, you're going to drag me down Oxford Street if you're getting anything. I was just in London last week. Yes. Okay. You get it. Because like huge on phone theft there. Like you can just say, boom, it's gone. Right. I'm like, that is not how my trip is getting derailed. No. And the phone is worse. I admit. Getting your phone stole is, especially overseas, bottom of the barrel. Yes. Anyway, I come home. My wallet's gone. To quote, you know, Seinfeld. So Mr. Seinfeld, the point is,

is that I had a show last night at Joe's Pub and went very well, but I had to go to the DMV. I'm leaving town in like three hours. I went to the DMV today, and here's the sick thing about me. I like kind of love going to the DMV. I'm like a really sick. I like jury duty.

I like being amongst the people. I like saying, what are they up to? It's good people watching. I'm not even joking. The guy next to me was very upset, and he wanted his license. He was applying for work. He had just come out of the criminal system.

And he was like, but even that was interesting. interesting to hear. You're like, so I'm hearing a story. Yeah. And then also the other thing, and then I'm done, I love making people laugh who have the worst jobs on earth. Yeah. And there's no better place to do with DMV, jury duty, passport office, Italy, funny enough. If you're funny with the Italy people, they're like free facacia, take it. It makes them feel good. You can laugh and then you feel like a good person. You know, I, one time I was going through TSA and I was I was behind in the TSA line, Frederick Eklund.

Oh, hilarious. You can't miss him. And he goes, so literally, I'm like the next person in line behind him. And so he goes up to the podium where they look at your boarding pass and whatever. And the woman recognizes him. And he's with like a couple of gays. You know, there's like a little bit of a posse. And so they're like, they're like cutting up.

And then I see that she's asking for a photo. And I'm like, I'm like, I am. my gut instinct is to be annoyed that I'm like I'm next in line move it along but I'm like you know what that's sweet this woman I don't know how long her day has been I don't know what she's had to deal with but she's getting a photo with Frederick and I can wait 30 extra seconds I love that there is a TSA agent who was like is that Frederick Eklund like what on what planet where were you leaving Aspen like where were you? It's like JFK Terminal 4 she was she's clocked in you know when you think of how stressful the jobs are. I had to drive. I drove in from Newark the other day.

Again, everything is a long story. It's got a storage, whatever. And I was driving in the city, and it is one of the most stressful things in the world to drive in New York City. I don't. I don't enjoy. Awful. And then you have to do those things to realize, like, when your Uber driver is kind of in a bad mood or your taxi driver or whatever, of course they are. What do you expect? They're under the most stressful conditions. Everyone is mad at them, because they're all in a rush. Everyone's paying a lot of money. It's just like, you can't win. Yeah. Sometimes it's like, oh, I'm annoyed that my Uber is going to. to take 45 minutes. Think of how annoying it is that this guy has to sit there driving me. Yeah. And then he's

not even at the destination. Guess what? He has another one after. It never ends. Don't you see? I don't understand how they do it. Anyway. Well, that's my day. So what have you been? So you're in town right now. I know you were, you were on Watch What Happens Live recently with Captain Kerry. I was. How was that? Really great. Yeah. I love Below Deck. Yes. I know that you are a below deck watcher. I have honestly fallen off the train in the last couple of years. I still, I dabble a bit. Like Aisha was just here a few weeks ago. She's lovely.

But like what is that like, what do you get out of below deck in this sort of like late stage? It's funny you say that because actually this last season with Captain Kerry, who I adore and he is like the most charming, handsome Australian captain in the world. But I didn't love the cast. And then that becomes really hard. It's kind of like with housewives on the reboot and you're like,

wait, I don't connect with any of these people. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older and the younger people are getting sluggier. It's possible. I don't know. I haven't checked in with like Gen Z. But the level of just, and I'm not, I'm, trust me, I'm no prude. It's not even about that. But it's just boring almost. It's like, okay, they're going to hook up with this one and this one. And then they're annoying. And they're not

hot enough to behave that way. That's my real problem. They need to start putting hotter people on below deck. Because if there was like a hot guy on that show, everyone is like, wait, you know, and then you see how he behaves. It's better. But I, I don't know, even this season with Captain Sandy. I'm a couple behind this season two. Yeah, I do feel like with below deck it's like even more than housewives, it's like every season is going to have eight charters that are two nights long and there's always going to be a problem. You know, like it's, okay, the laundry is going to be a thing and there's not going to be quick enough.

The toys aren't going to be out on time. Like I think for me, it's like the arc of the specific season has to like elevate to a certain point to be interesting enough to make it worth watching the laundry again. You're not wrong. I actually like laundry drama because sometimes you see someone where you're like, do they wipe properly? Like they're that bad at it. Then I'm like, are they wiping fully? I think also like the more you watch below deck and maybe as you get older too, you're like, okay, before I was like, oh, like the boss is so mean.

Like she just wants to have fun and it's like, no, she made a poor decision and she's hung over at work and she's not getting her work done. And it's like when you start to like lock into the like boss mindset, it's like these people got to get it together. Listen, there's no show without sluts. There's no show without drunks. It's like with the housework I don't even villain and people get mad. There's no show without a villain. You need someone to mess up. I personally like Blow Deck. First of all, I love to see where they go. I like seeing the beach lunches. Funny enough, my family went on a Norwegian cruise because of Captain Kerry. We went to Norway. Okay. Below Deck Adventure. Short lived. Yes. Too bad. Norway was incredible. Unbelievable. And I really have that show to think because when the hell would I ever think like, let's go to the few words, I mean, ever. Yeah. But listen, I still love it.

Yeah. And it still delivers on it. I love Captain Sandy also. She's amazing. I've interviewed her before, but yeah, I'm a fan. I love that for you. Thanks. I like it.

I'm really excited to see the Salt Lake ladies go on a blowdeck cruise. I mean, are we going to just go right into Salt Lake because I'm fully caught up. Fully caught up. The soup man. The soup man. The soup man. Todd eating Broadwins, Marschino, Cherry. Can we talk about that scene, please?

That made, okay, because I understand, like, I get that Todd and Bronwyn have different emotional languages. His, he's emotionally not, he doesn't speak. But, like, that specific thing, it's like, you're on camera. Just listen. Pay attention. Something very sinister is afoot when it comes to Todd. There's some, there's a, I posted on Instagram asking people, is he the most sinister house husband? I don't mean abusive because I think that would be like Denise's ex-husband or Taylor Armstrong or you know there are other sign-in.

There are more like Red Alert get out of their situations. Allegedly. I don't need anyone coming for me. But yeah, but there is something about him that is horror movie below the surface. And I do think that he has like a social situation where he's maybe not as socially lubricated as, for example, us. just because we're here. But nevertheless, the way he speaks to her, it's like a mean father, not even like daddy, like a mean dad who she wants to please so badly and she never can. And think about it. He's, I know he's wealthy. She's gorgeous. She's very smart. She's funny. Great style.

I'm a huge fan. I love Bronwyn. I don't know about you. I know it's hit or miss of people, but I cannot stand Todd. It's weird also because clearly he has decided. that he is willing to participate in this show with her. And we have seen husbands who basically don't film or who, you know, like Robert Sr. is not on the show since Mary came back. Like, we don't see him at all. Yeah, that's true. And like Todd is clearly going along with sitting down for these scenes with Bronwyn.

There are two of them in this week's episode. Because at the end, he's like urging her not to go on this trip to the point where it almost sounds like he's like, is this a warning or a threat? Like, I don't know what's going on. But it's like, it's strange to me that somebody is willing to participate, but so seemingly unaware of how they're coming across. And now in her second season that it's like there's been no kind of seeing what happened last season, taking the notes and like, okay, maybe I, maybe I just like pretend to be

a bit softer. Or maybe I listen to her just a little bit more when the kids. cameras are there. Like to me, in my mind, I'm like, if I knew that it was going to be on TV, I would want to make the decision that at least is not going to make me seem like the villain. Well, I think this is the thing with him, though, is that there's no masking necessarily, because I'm not an armchair psychiatrist, I don't know how to diagnose this person. Yeah. I don't think he cares that we don't like him. I think if anything, he doesn't want us to like him. And the fact that he disciplines her the way he does as a husband is really,

really off-putting to say the least. And also he's just, I know he's rich. He's also just like not hot enough to have. I know he's an old rich guy. No, listen, I, an old rich, don't get me, I just met Michael Bloomberg fully turned on. I hope he hears this, by the way. I hope he hears this. You think I'm joking. He's half my height. Yeah. He was so nice to me. I was like, wait, mayor, like something's tingling. You're being crazy right now. I know. And I was like, he's hot. Because he had like a nice personality. He asked me a question. Charming. Charming. This, I hope he hears us. Wouldn't that be great? $109 billion. Can you imagine no more Nordstrom rack for this girl? You might have to push back your flight again if he hears it. I'll push it all the way back,

I'll never leave. But yeah, I just feel like he has no charm. He doesn't have the looks. He doesn't have this, doesn't have that. I don't see chemistry between them. Can you imagine them in bed together? Not to go there, but. Yeah, no. And I think like, I also enjoy Bronwyn on the show. I think that she is clearly a complex person and we've seen different layers of her and I'm sure there's even more that we haven't seen yet. But like, yeah, it does seem like other than obviously the financial piece of it and the sort of security element, like, how is that relationship like filling her cup? I know. And I hope it is. I don't, because I don't want anybody to be in a relationship that's not. I don't want anybody's love tank to be empty. That's so beautiful.

What a beautiful heart you have. Oh my God. But like, but like what, yeah, like what is the. What's the payoff? What's the payoff other than like I get to buy my Dolce and Gabana ridiculous looking outfits? I like her style just because it's at least something, you know? Yeah.

But the other thing I was just thinking as you were speaking is whatever happened to her dogs that shit all over the house. Speaking of not signing up being on camera. Disappeared. Yeah. We've not. Remember when they went into her house and there was dog shit everywhere? That was one of the most telling things in that relationship.

relationship to me. I'm going, okay, you've got all this money, all this big house, and you're telling me there is hot dog shit on your ground that no, forget you or even a person working there, which we know exists, like isn't going to come clean up when Bravo cameras are coming in? Right. Can you imagine a reality where this is you? I mean, never. It's like when you watch those like architectural digest like celebrity house tours and they'll they'll point to it. And it's like, oh, like this is my bookshelf with like all these pretty books. And this is look at the Isn't the kitchen when Dakota Johnson's like, I love limes? She's allergic to them. She didn't buy those. She's hilarious. It's like I almost am surprised that somebody like Bronwyn isn't having the like AD house dresser coming in before the cameras. It is shocking to me.

Oh, actually, you know who I saw the other day walking up 6th Avenue yesterday? Seth Marks because Meredith was here to do watch what happens. I mean, Meredith's here a lot. That's totally. She's not in Salt Lake City. No, she's really not. And he looked very hurried. He was really walking fast.

And I was like, oh, Seth, anyway, it was exciting. Seth is, I mean, Seth is hot enough to act like that. Seth is hot. I was waiting. I was like, where is this going? On the scale of Todd to Michael Bloomberg. Okay, no, Bloomberg still is king. My baby is king, okay?

No, I've, yeah, I've met Seth. And he's a very, he is, he's very charming. He's engaging, I can see that. He's nice when you meet. I mean, the whole Mark's family is, it's very like, it's kind of a mesmerizing vibe, honestly. I've never met any of. them like officially. I've never seen Meredith in person. I find her stunningly beautiful, obviously, but I'm excited at BravoConn. I hope to cross paths with some of these people.

Yeah. Because it is the only thing I fear, and this has happened to me, is that you befriend someone or you meet one of the housewives. Yes. I hope you know what I'm going to say. And then you feel guilty talking shit about them afterwards. That happens to me because once you know them, and they're smart. If I were a housewife, I would follow every blogger, every podcaster to minimize the negativity, because I think that people, I at least get self-conscious. So, yeah, I like to do, I like to be cordial to the point where it's like, oh, hi, have you been? Like, whatever. But like, they don't, like, friends is like a strong word. Not friends, but just, you know, like kindness or whatever, if they're cool to you. Yes. I'm not going to name names. I had a housewife recently, like, be not that cool. And then I, like,

talked about it on my show and regretted it. I was just like, why? And because now I'm going to BravoCon and I'm like, what if I run into this person? Right. She found out. And you know, Bravo people love to kiss and tell. And that's my, I did it too. I was the original kiss. I find also, I think sometimes with with housewives or with people on reality TV, sometimes the people who are plugged in and keeping track aren't the people who you would expect necessarily. Like, there are people who it's like, oh, like, I bet she like has no idea who I am. And then it's like, oh, I'm blocked. There's a grudge that I didn't even know about.

We're spilling in the world. I'm finding out you're blocked. Gasp. I can't take it. We did just recently have Mary Cosby here. Tell me. So the Bravo by Betches' Instagram account has been blocked by Mary Cosby since before Salt Lake City premiered season one. No.

I love her. Still blocked. My queen. Still blocked. No. I like posted about the episode and I could not tag her in it. My face? Wait, can I ask a question?

because I can't spoil anything, but I think I will be meeting Mary at BravoCon. And I'm so excited because I actually love her. Well, everyone loves her. I think that she's really had one of the greatest comebacks in, like, house life's history. But what does she like? Can you be funny with her?

Yeah, she was, she, a really, like, lovely conversation we had. She definitely is somebody where, like, it takes her a second to kind of, like, warm up. to you, I think, when you first meet her, she's wearing the tallest heels you've ever seen. Really? Wow. She is wearing her little business look, the sunglasses. She's tiny.

Meredith's very petite as well. Is she? Yes. I'm shocked by that. Yeah, like Polly Pocket. Really? Yeah. Who's taller?

Lisa or Meredith? Probably Lisa. Probably Lisa. I'm shocked. Have you met Lisa? Meredith's little, yeah. Yeah, we got it. But no, Mary was, honestly, I was like a little, not nervous necessarily, but, oh, yeah,

That's, wow. She looks adorable. I love this look. Hair is up. Yeah, very cute. But yeah, no, she was somebody where I was like, I just don't know what the energy is going to be like. And it was great. I'm so excited to hear that actually. Yeah, she was, I found her very engaging. The facial expressions were free flowing. Oh, my goodness. You're killing it right now. You know, my problem is I'm so tall. So I'm six foot one in flats. And then like, I'm in a little, look how little that is. It's like maybe two inches on this heel. Do you know that when I'm walking around New York today, it's like full cloverfield. People are fleeing. I'm. I'm. I'm. walking down. People are so afraid of me because of how tall I'm and I walk super fast to. So it's like a whole thing. And sometimes when I meet very petite, women especially and housewives especially, I almost, I can't explain it. Like I tiptoe over to them. I make myself so petite like tinkerbell because I don't want them to scream. And I'm worried that my height. Kyle Richards is like running away. No, and she's tiny. She's tiny. She's tiny. A lot of them are smaller than you would guess on TV. Oh my gosh. But like I'm really nervous about Mary for some reason because I know that like she comes

after Heather a lot for her parents and everything. And I'm like, if Mary reads me at all, it's lights out. I just want, you know, and I'm getting it on record. Right. You don't want like tall girl. Or worse. Okay. Inbred I'll take.

There's much worse things you can say. Polygamy cousins. Yeah. Polygamy cousins. Yeah. Fabulous. So yeah. So I hope that I hope that she's nice.

Have you been to. Bravo con before? Never. Okay. You've been? Yes. I was supposed to go last year and I was living in Amsterdam. Yeah. And it was so hard. Vegas is so far from Amsterdam. Like it's like a connection. It was like a 24 hours of travel both ways. Tough. And it just didn't make any sense. So I am, I cannot explain to you how excited I am to go this year. This episode is brought to you by Redfin. You're listening to a podcast, which means you're probably multitasking, maybe even scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving homes without expecting to get them. But Redfin isn't just built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and own a home. With agents who close twice as many

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Every year after, the love hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more. Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. They haven't done the proper BravoCon in two years, so I feel like everybody's kind of like chomping at the bit a little bit. What's the vibe like? I mean, it's funny because it's like everybody's there, which is like exciting,

but also it's overwhelming. I mean, it is just like, oh, everybody's here to the point where like in the, I feel like a couple years ago, there's like the press room where they each have their like time slots that they're on the carpet doing interviews and stuff. And then there's all the panels and, you know, the shops and activations and things like that. But it's like I felt like I saw so many people. And then I also realized that I didn't see 50 other people. And it's like, what just happened for three days? And it's thousands and thousands of people in like a convention center base.

Is it a hotel or a convention center? It's a convention center. Oh, it is. Okay. God, I'm nervous. I really am. I'm like figuring out what am I going to wear. Obviously, I want to look professional.

It is fun though because it's like the housewives are each living their own fantasy. Oh, wow. Like I remember seeing Danielle Cabral from New Jersey like in a, she looked like Britney Spears. I'm on the floor. I can't. Full, full, full glam. Wow. But then the people attending.

it's like the full gamut. Like there's people who are like, oh, I got like a sparkly blazer just for this. But then there's also people who are like, I rolled out of bed. You know, like it's very, you may.

I don't want to say any like cookie monster pajama pants. I don't want to sue sweatbeth. People need to come correct to Bravo Kahn. There's a level. It's a lot of like. Talk to me. Did you watch the hunting wives? No,

I haven't. Okay. But I got it. You don't even need to. It's a lot of like, I'm a wealthy lady from Texas. Got it. And me and my girlfriends

told our husbands, this is our Super Bowl. So don't ask any questions about the budget. It sounds fun. Wait, the more you're talking, I'm like, go on. You will see some girlies that are like really living it up in Vegas. Listen, you know, I went on tour with Countess Luann a couple years ago when she had Countess and friends. And those rooms were very full.

I don't know, sold out, but like nearly sold out. And it was just, I think, a reason for people to drink. And I think that's a beautiful thing. It was people went there like bachelor's party vibes. They went. They would just drink their wine, be dumb sluts like we all want to be. It's like mostly women and gay guys, which again, the dream. And it was fun.

So that's what I'm kind of expecting here. I think more it's like the walking around of it all. And I get very overwhelmed. I hate music festivals. Like I hate. Yeah. I don't like to know stage here, stage there. And then everyone's crazy and oh, that stresses me.

So that's the thing that's making me. But it's like you're indoor. Like the air conditioning is good. Keep talking. I like that. Oh, also the convention center in Vegas. I don't know if anybody cares. I do. It's carpeted. So it's not, so when it was at Javitt Center a few years ago, your feet hurt all weekend. When you're in the carpet, it's like, oh, I can stand. Well, this is so fascinating. It's the little things. And I, um, the funny thing is when you're walking around, it's like there, you will just hear like 20 yards away out of nowhere, just a scream. Yeah. And it's like, who?

It's the TSA agent. Who's there? It's Frederick. And it's like, it's like Andrea from Summerhouse is being walked to his next thing. Oh, my God. And somebody just screamed. And then there's like a cluster of people trying to get the selfie because they're not actually going to make it to the photo op. But they still want the photo op.

I love it. It's, it's an interesting. You will have a ball, even just like looking around. Listen, I'll plug because you know I have a show myself called the Michelle Collins Show on Patreon. And one of the big reasons I'm going is to just get people to listen and sign up. So I'm like, I'm trying to think, how can I do that? I'm terrible. I do everything myself.

I produce it. I edit it. I'm my own PR. The cameras go out. Like falls on my head. Anyway. But I'm like that I'm really going there to like stir some business. I'm hoping that, you know, happens.

You know, like the clubs where they have like the sign when it's one's birthday. So smart. Wait. Michelle Collins's show. Wait, that's genius actually. And have like some skinny. Like. Really skinny girl behind me with the sparklers.

You can get the cast of Southern hospitality to light it up. No show I've never watched. You have, okay. And also Southern Charm, never watched. Okay. Well, Southern Charm is tough because people always will ask, like, do I need to watch this? What should I watch first? Like, that's such a common question.

And like, Southern Charm is tough because they're about to start their 11th season. What? I'm shocked. And like, aren't they old? Like, there are guys in their 60s, right? No, by the way, I'm old. So Whitney, who is like one of the OGs, an executive producer of that show, and Andy Cohen were born on the same day. Very young.

Don't buy saying it feeds you. Bri. Well, you're not trapping me today. So newborn. Just to give you an idea. A little salt and pepper. No, but 11 seasons to recommend that to anyone is... It's hard.

I don't take that lightly. Because you had to start at the beginning, kind of. One thing about Vanderpump rules, it's like... If you're recommending that, it's like a 200-something episode. It's hell. Hell. It's a commitment. And so it's like, are there things in it that I, that have merit?

Sure. But like, is it that much? You know, it's a really controversial thing I'm going to say that I know you're going to judge me for and you're right to. I cannot watch the Valley. I watched season one. I don't know if it's because I lived in L.A. And I never connected with it. And I don't know what it is.

But I just, this last season couldn't do it. The last season was like pretty dark. Yes. It's a lot of darkness. Was that the one? Because I saw a couple episodes maybe where Jacks was like seeing the sun a lot. And I saw those episodes. Yeah, Jacks.

So on the most recent season, Jacks went to rehab for several weeks. But he was still able to text and call constantly. That's right. So Brittany was pretty much for the whole season getting rage texts from Jacks while he was. He was also recording video diaries from rehab that they were showing us. And it's like, I don't actually, I don't need that. It was a lot. Yeah.

And then Jacks is not going to be on the next season. Well, finally. Wait, okay. I was looking. So you are a pretty prolific watch what happens live. Yes. Guest. Thank you.

That's nice of you to say. You've been there a bunch. Was Jacks Taylor your first time? He was. Tell me about this. So I was, this was 100 years ago when I was on the view for the seven minutes, I was on that show. They were like, come on, watch what happens. I said, great. I wore, I know this is not what you asked, but I have to say it. I wore the ugliest dress ever created by probably kids.

It was ASOS. Throw it on the habachi. Oh my God. It was, it was a, the word is halucius. I don't know what, I think something happens. I don't know if this happens to your listeners or you, but when the pressure is so great, your brain basically stops working properly and you just make insane decisions. Like it's like the, you don't pick that. So I wore, I looked like a, uh, uh, drag. court jester. I don't even know how to explain. It was awful. And then he came in and, you know, listen, there was a time when he was hot, Jacks, whatever. He looked fine. This was what, like 2016? Yeah, around 2015, 2016, 2016. And I would listen, I was also bigger than my hair was long, but I didn't know what I was doing. It was just awful. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know what I was doing.

Yeah. It was like, would you say? Okay, why is he so nice to me? You just that it's not ugly. I can't really see it from here. That's so sweet. It's truly bad. It's really bad. It doesn't matter. Anyway, But he, I remember at one point, he said something, and I'm going to paraphrasing here, but he said something to Andy or something came up about a disease or a virus or something. And I joke that he had Ebola, which I don't even know what that means. But I think I said Ebola, because it's just a funny word. Like Ebola is a horrible thing, obviously. Right.

It's very evocative. Yes. And I don't think he liked that. And after I was on Watch What Happens, I was hosting this Bachelor in Paradise. after show and I had had other gigs and Jax would come for my throat on Twitter. He was so, but he does that to everybody, especially women, let's be real. Yes. But he really came for me after that.

And I was like, listen, Ebola, I get it. Like if someone said that about me, I'd also hate them. I'd be like what, you know? Yeah. So he was not wrong. I mean, I didn't like that he was doing that, of course. But then I was, here's also something a little juicy, which I think was known. So I don't think I'm going to get in trouble for saying this.

But after Scantival, I was. going to be on with Tom. Okay. And I was excited, but also a bit nervous because he was the most hated. I mean, almost too hated at that point. Yeah, that was aggressive. Honestly, that would have been like intense to be paired with him at that time. Well, that was the thing. It's like, as a comedian, working comedian sometimes, I was like, how can, how am I going to be the one to like lighten the mood? Unless I would have to be mean to him, obviously. He'd be sitting next to me. So that was a tough one. And then he dropped out because I think it was like the day. day after that his Times article came out, which was like, the timing was really tough.

And so he dropped out. And then one of the greatest we have, Paige DeSorbo filled in. And we love Paige, obviously. And she's much easier. She's hilarious. She's so cute. Gabbing with the girls. Yeah. And so we had a great time. But I, I'm grateful that if I had to be with Jacks once, I feel like I paid my dues. Well, it's really tough to know, like, because if you were with Tom, it's like, okay, so he's going to lose all the polls, 99% to one of, like, is he the villain and you're going to have to be like, you're not, the villain. The villain. Do you know Tom's story when I lived in L.A. was, I know people are very happy there. I get it. I was there five years. Yeah. I called them my ugliest years. I looked like a Geico Cave person. It was just like not a good time for me. But I went with my friend to Villablanca. This is during the Vanderpump heyday.

May she rest? I know, for real. And Tom worked there. He was not, this was pre-Vandrapump, but he was the bartender there. Right. So my friend went to buy us a round of like teenies, gave her or gave him her card. And it kept getting declined, decline, declined. And she called her bank. She's like, I don't know what's going on. And they closed her card because they were like attempted fraud. And he was like, ma'am, they're just not taking a card.

So of course, first of all, I paid for drinks, fuming. 40 bucks right there. What the fuck? But she called her bank the next year two days later. And they were like, oh, your expiration date. He was flipping the expiration date year with the month. So like instead of it being October 2012, he was doing December 2010, like 1210. And she had to get a new card.

I mean, it's not that big of a deal, but it is, he's an idiot. It's like, so you do this every shift. Yes, this is what he was doing. And he tried it like 60 times. It's so weird. Everybody's card declines all the time. I know. God.

I mean, he was nice. But like that whole thing, though, it's crazy how that kind of, I'm happy that that's done with. I don't want to hear. I'm sorry. even said that word in your beautiful show. The S word, my mistake. It's okay. I mean, there's there's always some drama going on. One of, one of my favorite tweets of yours that I feel like becomes relevant too often is that some of these housewives take BravoCon a little too seriously. Beyond. Oh my God, Dr. Wendy. Dr. Wendy. That's awful. It's crazy. And I love Potomac.

I identify as a Miami girl. Potomac. It's not the Miami. I don't identify with the Miami Housewives at all. I was curious to get your thoughts. I was curious to get your thoughts. I love. I love those girls. I, I, I know, I identify as a Miami Housewives at all. I was curious to get your thoughts, like, as a Miami native about real houseways of Miami. It's accurate. I mean, there is a group. I watch Miami, obviously, and I think they've had a great season. I've enjoyed it. It's nice to see places that I know, obviously, and whatever else. But I see Todd and Alexia all the time because they live near my parents. So I always, and they're gorgeous in person, by the way. Two of the hottest people, like, eye-poppingly good-looking. But they, yeah, they represent Miami very well because they're,

okay about like, I hate Julia. Oh, I mean, have you ever just like that? Julia, they need to get her off the show. I'm sorry. That's tough. This season especially. Name one redeeming quality. I'm thinking, how can you not have a redeeming quality?

And even Martina went off the rails. And it's like, what happened there? But anyway, they're very close to what Miami wealthy women are like, which is sort of vapid, very selfish, money obsessed, done, yeah. Everything is right angles. There's not a curve. It's all Picasso. Picasso. Chisled. Yeah.

Cubist fantasy. But I is a public school graduate and a middle class Miami girl. I don't come from like those kind of people or that kind of money. I feel like I don't identify with that because it's a little too fake. Yeah. So you didn't grow up with jettiquette in the classroom. Can you even imagine? Do your favor. But Potomac, I do identify with them because they are funny. Yes. You know, and that's all I ask. They are, yeah, no, they, even on, even in seasons where I feel like the, the storylines aren't jelling as much maybe, there are still moments and scenes and episodes that are just like a good time. Yeah.

Like, it's just like fun to hang out with them on the show. And I, I think like, this season, it's like watching now this entire season with the dramatic irony of what's going on with Wendy, it's just like, this is a really interesting lens to view this through. Very, very much. My mom suggested, my mom is a big Bravo person as well. She thinks that Dr. Wendy's downfall, like where, because you're talking about a woman, incredibly educated woman reminded us about it, as we know. But like super smart, a lawyer.

I mean, you know, Wendy had everything going for her hot husband. Yeah. Okay, Eddie, I'm a fan. Yes. Anyway, point is, once she got all that work done on her body, once she got the boobs done and the butt. My mom was like, that's where Wendy, she thinks, turned like, I don't know what the word is, but just kind of went to the dark side a little bit. Well, it was like, I mean, because when she came on the show, her whole thing was like, I'm a professor. Yeah. At Johns Hopkins, which is like a very

legit. One of the best schools in the world. Very legit school. And obviously it makes sense that if you're going to be on this Housewives platform, maybe your career will shift a bit. and maybe you're not going to be, you know, like full time. I mean, I don't know how many shifts a week like Dr. Nicole is doing at the hospital. But like she's still a doctor. Wendy's still a doctor, whatever. But it's like it did seem like when suddenly we were more focused on like the candles and, you know, happy and ness. It's like, okay, taking a step away from academia is one thing.

But it's like it seems like you've kind of pivoted fully. Pivoted. You know how I feel bad for? her mom. And she, I love her mom. I love her mom. And she was, I can tell just a woman who held Wendy up to such a high standard. Yeah.

Which is why she was so successful and, you know, had all these amazing accolades. And then for this to happen, oh my God. I'm just like, the mother must be freaking out. Yeah. I mean, that's so complicated. And then also like the other thing with Potomac is that like, I think maybe part of the reason they're a little bit more relatable is that. They are not a franchise where everybody is carrying a different burkin every day of the week and flying on private planes.

Like there's money there, but it's a little bit more understandable. Accessible maybe. Accessible. I mean, and I saw somebody made the joke that it's like Wendy did insurance fraud to stunt on a woman who was driving a mini cooper. Like just, I mean, Giselle was in that like mini Cooper wagon for years. I love Giselle, by the way. Me too. But it's like, you don't need, like, you don't need to flex on these women with designers.

It just is like. I think it's delusion as my point. I think something shifted where all of a sudden that stuff was so important to her. And also, if you're going to commit fraud, they should write a book. Don't do what she did. Don't do what she did. Remember there was a story years ago. If you're watching this and you're wanting to commit fraud, don't do what she did.

Come on. That's the new podcast. Don't do what she did. It's like, if I did it. It's like, if you do it, don't do what she did. Don't do that. Oh my God. Allegedly.

Allegedly. But also, remember there was a scandal years ago that I always thought, oh, if I ever did commit fraud, like I would be really good at this, which was this woman would go to T.J. Max. She would buy, like, designer Gucci's because, you know, a lot of the TJs have all these big brands now. That one little plastic cabinet that's locked. I love that. I'm like piggy-nosing against the cabinet. I have full flats now. I'm like, what's in here?

I hate when you can't see the price. Me too. I'm on my hands and knees. I don't want to ask them to come unlock the cabinet and then be like 3,000. And by the way, I'll talk about this the rest of the show. I'm just letting you know I'm going down a very dangerous path. The price is in that case, bring Mr. Max out because have they lost it completely? I'll go to the outlets.

It's half the price. Also, I'm not going to spend $3,000 at T.J. Max. Are you insane? That's when the credit card company is going to be like, alert, alert. No, but there was a woman who was doing that. And then she was buying high-end fakes and returning. it in the store and she did that for like millions and millions of dollars and got caught. And I feel like the Wendy thing is similar in a sense because that woman did too much. If she had done it, not to

like earn millions, but just to get a real bag and then eventually whatever would have gone under the radar. The problem is they went for too much. Wendy could have gotten the money for one ring. I don't think it would have been a thing. Right. Well, I mean, because that's the thing. If you're like, if the policy max is exactly what you're submitting, that's what's going to raise the warning sign. It just makes a sense. That's what's going to get. flagged. And then for her to return the stuff already, if you're getting, that's greed. Already if you're going to file an insurance

claim for things that you're suggesting were stolen, don't go back to Home Depot or wherever it was. And return it. If the claim is going to be fake, at least only submit it to one place. That's the other thing. Don't do all three and return the stuff. The returning of the stuff had me dizzy. And no one loves a return more than me. I had merch at one point that was a big tote bag that said returns.

I love it. It's my job. When I'm not podcasting, I'm returning, okay? And I just was like, how could you not realize? So good, so good. Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom Rack stores now and up to 60% off. Stock up and save on the brands you love like Vince, Sam Edelman, frame and free people.

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Find Ollie's sleep solutions for the whole family at ollie.com. That's OLLLY.com. I do worry that watching Salt Lake City this season, Lisa Barlow is like next level right now. The way that she is like hammering home this idea that she lives in such a different world than the rest of these women. And also like literally hammering the stack of $100 bills on the catcher. It's like what are we what are we doing here?

Like what is this? I rarely say this, but I cannot like stomach her. I think that here's the thing. I do think she adds something obviously. Yes. And the episodes like I loved the tarot card reading episode. Oh my God. For me, I'm thinking this is high art.

This is Beckett. This is not Bravo. This is Beckett. Some podcasters had it took issue with it. They were like, oh, a one location show. And I'm thinking that's what made it beautiful and like poetic. Well, and they don't do it very often. But when they do, it just, I mean, because last season,

Meredith's Bat Mitzvah episode was like that too. And it's like when, when the, the gods give that to us. It's for a reason. Yes, I agree with you. And also, wait, I know that you've probably talked about this, but the thing that killed me that went viral on Twitter was the tarot card reader saying to Brittany,

and you have two kids. And she goes, yes, I have a 23-year-old and a 19-year-old. And he goes, and the 19-year-old is the younger one. Goodbye. That shit killed me. That killed me. And she's like, how could he know? Here's streaming.

Poor Brittany. Brittany, if I saw Brittany at the Humane Society, I would adopt her. like no one else is taking her in. See, I was loving the, when Britney's like, there's just no way that he could know this. Immediate role footage to her saying it on camera last season. No, it's. And then what's his name? Not Jordan.

What's her? Jordy. Who's the boyfriend? Jared. Jared. I'm so sorry. Jordy's a different guy. That's on Miami.

I think so. With the. Jody. Jody. Jody. Yes. Another. Lisa, I'm starting to like.

I used to really. Lisa's, I don't know, she's getting a little funnier. Yeah. She is. I appreciate that. But Jordan. What's his name? I keep looking around.

Jared, what is wrong? Am I okay? Call an ambulance. Jared. I really worry about that, Brittany. I just think, and she's a beautiful woman. She looks incredible. Yeah.

Especially for her age, whatever. She's talented. She's singing. She's performing. Are you going to go to her show here? I don't know. You need to go. I got to see if I can get on the list for that.

Yeah, I would not pay. But I was, you got to get on that list. I'm not hitting the drink minimum. I don't, I don't, you kind of have to go, unfortunately. I might need to hit the drink minimum. So yeah, but okay. You're gonna hit the mac drink maximum. They're gonna say cut you off.

Your ninth Pinole out of her like, babe, it's over. But I watch her the same way I watch like a dodo video about a horse in the lake. You know what I'm talking about where you're like, is it gonna make it out? I'm stressed. I'm so stressed. And I think hearing about some of the stuff with her daughters and stuff in more of an abstract sense was already a little alarming. Yeah. But watching the scene of that.

them together and it's like, I don't believe, like, I don't even think she believes the words when they're coming out of her mouth where she's like, yeah, and I do want to, you know, I do want to, I do want to put you first. It's like, I don't think you believe that. No shame on her for that. That's why I don't feel bad being a little shady toward her. It's like, at this point, just like, don't see your daughters. If that's what it's going to be, because I'm like, there is no way that sweet young woman left that conversation actually feeling good about where they're at. Of course not. But I'm also shocked Brittany would even allow that to be on camera because, again, proving how stupid she is. Because there's no way you leave that conversation looking

good. Right. Your kids, it's like with Julia too. When your kids don't talk to you, to me, that is like, or even with Stephanie Shoma, how what her sisters don't speak to her. To me, I'm always like sort of on the side of the family that's done the cutting off. Right. Because I'm like, you just don't cut family off unless something is so horrible and unforgivable, you know? And it's funny because I feel like in a lot of those situations, we only really ever get one side of the story. Like there was on, um, Rachel on New Jersey was like that too, where it was like she had a falling out with her brother and it's like, we're never going to see the brother, whatever. Yeah. Now we see Brittany's daughter and they, they're telling the exact same story. They're saying

when she split up with my dad, she had been the best mom ever. She got with the new guy and then she abandoned us. And Brittany's like, I did. Your face. I messed up. Amazing impression. Open for her at 54. He killed her just slaying it.

But it's like you're agreeing with her exactly on the timeline of events, but like still, it's like that the knowledge. If you have the knowledge that you messed up like that, it should like haunt you. Eat you up inside. As a mother. I have no children. I pause. You imagine. I want people to be shocked because of how maternal I am instinctually.

But I can, I think one of the reasons why I don't want kids is because of situations like Brittany. I'm like, would I be that? What happens if you fuck your kid up and then they don't speak to you? I'd be like, what do you do?

You're like, but what if I met a really fun guy? Yeah. Oh, I also hate him, though. He's, oh, there's something really tight.

Like, you know when you meet people and you just know their blood pressure is through the roof. Like, I feel like if you like, like, poked him, it'd be like a geyser. He's so stressed feeling. Very like tightly wound. Yeah. I don't like that. No, I don't like it either. I need a relaxed man. Okay. The last, the last thing I want to ask you about the, so you've, you spent a lot of time in Amsterdam. Yeah. Oh my God. The OC ladies are there

right now. Wait, when I, when I saw Emily's look the first day they were there, this like kiss of the spider woman netting situation. What, what? I have a lot to say. I'm so happy that you asked me. What a great question to ask me. First of all, let me open by saying, I love Emily. I think she looks incredible. She's worked very, very hard. I really, I'm a fan. I like, um, me too. Shane. I'm a, I like them together, whatever. What was she thinking? All three of them, including Jen, including Tamara's hot pants. Now, listen, what one of the reasons why I didn't like fully click with Amsterdam? And it's funny because I'm dressed obviously quite casually, but it is the most casual city. Yeah. In Europe for sure. People wear jeans. And

white t-shirt, sneakers, a raincoat, because it rains all day. Yeah. They all ride their bikes. Writing the bikes, yep. I never got a bike, by the way. I'd meet Dutch people that'd go, oh, you don't ride a bike? I'm like, you know, if I rode a bike, you'd be mad because they'd be slow and I'd be bad. So you should be thanking me, but whatever, that's a different podcast where I tear the Dutch

apart. But I know, they're very simple people. The women wear no makeup. So then to go daytime, daylight hours in those outfits, I know. That being the daytime drag is really crazy. It is unfathomable to me that the Dutch are also like they think they're funny but they're really not funny at all. And I really have to think and I had a tweet about this that people picked up on where they for sure thought they were sex workers. And I'm not saying that to be funny at all.

I mean, nobody dresses. No one even wears like women don't even wear dresses. Or if they do, it's like so simple like Elaine Benis. You know, they don't go out like that. Unbelievable to me. And then when they did that, I think it's on, I don't know if you've seen this episode yet, but they do this. like hot tub canal thing where it's like they're in like a plastic little tub. I haven't seen it yet.

Directly in the water. And Emily says she feels like they're like making soup. And it's like we're going to have a housewife for dinner. And so they're, I guess it was summer. I guess it was warm when they were there. But they're like in swimsuits in the middle of Amsterdam. I'm like, I just. Hold on.

But they're on a boat or they're like walking around town like that? So they're like getting into a vessel. I see. But like boat is a strong word because it's literally like. It's like a plastic kitty pool. I've seen this. Just plopped in the canal. Kind of fun.

But hot. I got to tell you that one of the best parts about living there was being able to like, you'd meet someone who's like, oh, we have a boat. We're going to go like, and it would be a dingy. It would be like Captain Phillips dingy. And I was like, is that your dingy? And it would be so fun. You bring wine and like, you know, you don't need a license to operate a boat there.

You can be, truly, you can be anybody. It's scary. You can be blind and be like, I want that boat. And then you rent it and you go and drink. So I would do the hot tub on the canal, I think. That just sound intriguing to me. It's also for camera. You know, they're like playing it up.

Right. I love you. At one point I think Tamara's like, well, I was Googling things to do and I found this thing that looked fun. I'm like, no, you weren't. No, of course you wasn't. Yeah, they found the dildo class. Right.

I was like, I lived there like over two years. I'm like, I never heard of this class. Lenny. I went to Amsterdam last year. That was not on my three-day itinerary. Oh, wait, but I want to ask you something. So I also am not a pot person at all because it sends me into the ER. I just want to get that on record.

Watching Shannon eat that space. cake. Wait. Can we talk about Shannon? Sure. Okay. Remember before when I was like, I don't want to talk smack pre-Bravo con about anybody. She won't know.

Shannon's not listening. It is, I think, in the history of the show, one of the toughest watches to see Shannon behave the way she behaves. And we've seen it before. We know she's got the drinking thing. We know, obviously, with Archie in the car and everything else. But watching her at that restaurant after she ate that cake, I was not laughing. I was so embarrassed for her.

And, you know, she's lovely children. She's always very hard on herself. A real negative Nelly, it seems like to me. And when she's being, I've never said negative Nelly in my life. Cut that out. What is that? What am I? What is this?

1926. I'm sorry I said that. But no, yeah, exactly. But she's so, like, such a downer. And then when she's hyped and hyped up, it's like too much too fake. I can't explain it. There's something very off with her. And it's troubling to watch.

I don't enjoy it. I guess for me, it's like I, when you've been on TV for that long, it's like, wouldn't you think you would kind of know what you should and shouldn't allow yourself to, I don't know. You crashed a car into someone's front lawn slash house. You were on TMZ. You were arrested for drunk driving. Nearly killed your stunning dog. Who doesn't love Archie. And you're going to go on camera and eat a fucking space cake, which people know.

I hope I can curse here, by the way. People know one bite you're done for. Right. She had like a whole Costco size muffin of it. Okay. And it's like space muffin. I don't. Yeah.

I mean, and she kept goshing at it. And I know, and they kept cutting to her. So obviously the camera people knew this is going somewhere. That's the thing with she had it. It's like she, if there's like a,

you know, there's a muffet, she's going to pick at it. And it's like no, you need like, you need your like one little gummy and then like a non. Pizza. A non.

A non. And then a huge fresh non. Yeah. I always. we say that. Yeah. No, it makes me think of back what non-Beverly Hills

when they went to Amsterdam back of the day and they like barely had any but they were like, oh my God, am I, am I high right now? I don't know what I'm, this is crazy. I love that.

I rewatched that after like moving there because I was so excited that and of course knew that was nice about watching it too this past week was like seeing all the locations they went to and where they were and it's a beautiful city. The hotel that they stayed at, funny enough, is usually where I stay

like when my apartment on O-Z. Okay, I stayed like around the corner from there when I was there last year and I was like, good area, good location. That's where my apartment was too.

It was really nice. I'll never have it as good again. Didn't we almost have it all? I have nothing now. Literally, I'm homeless. I call it Sheke homeless because I'm like in Airbnb's it's out. It's okay, but you get to go to Vegas.

I know. Five days of bliss. I can't wait. I'm getting it early too because I want to see the Wizard of Oz in the sphere, which is my least favorite movie in the world, by the way.

I hate, to me, that's my insidious three. Like, Wizard of Oz is so scary to me, but I want to go to the sphere so bad. You want to go to like the fucked up AI. Yeah, I want apples falling on me. That's falling on you. I want wind. I want to go. Well, if you survive that, I will see you at BravoCon.

Oh, I won't. Anyway, nice meeting you. That's it. No, I hope. No, I'm excited that you'll be there. Let's keep in touch. We should. Yeah.

You know, Vegas is a, it's a trip, but it'll be a good time. I love, I do Vegas well. I know the greatest martini bar. We'll go. We'll sit, have a martini. I'm excited. Okay. Well, tell everyone, what do you? You have another show in New York coming up soon, right? It was last night. So don't come to that. It was great, by the way, and it's a shame that everyone's missing it. But I have a new show that I'm taking around New York. So follow me in Instagram at Mish Call. And I have a daily show called the Michelle Collins Show. Patreon.com slash Mish Call. It's fun. It's if you like this, this is what it is. It's me, a co-host. I love that. Funny off the cuff. Please come co-host.

Okay. Seriously. It's easy. No cameras. pajamas, whatever. Perfect. Love. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having it. I had a lot of fun. Me too.

Thanks, everyone for watching, listening. Until next time, be cool. Don't be all like un-cool. Pay off your home. Travel for life. Drive a Ferrari. In celebration of the world premiere of the Monopoly

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Betches.