Mention It All - Pump Rules Rewind Ep. 2: This Is a Break-Up

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

On this week’s Pump Rules Rewind, it’s a landmark occasion: SUR Pride. Dylan and Sami re-litigate Scheana rubbing sunscreen on a shirtless Jax, and unpack the downward spiral of the Stassi/Jax relationship. More importantly, they stop to salute the statement necklaces and relatable (terrible) style that marked the early days of VPR. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hey everyone, welcome back to the Mentioned-all podcast. I'm Dylan Hafer, and I am joined again by Sammy Sage today for episode two of our Vanterpump Rules Rewind. Hey, Sammy, how's it going? Hey, Dylan. I am very excited to get into episode two. I'm excited to, and like you said, we're getting into episode two, and we are getting straight into our first ever Vanterpump Rules Pride. Episode two, right out of the gate, this is a breakup. That's the name of the episode.

you know, foreshadowing, I guess. Lisa decides to do a pride float. A big pink fur pride float. Guillermo is not into it. He's like, bitch, this is going to cost money. She's like, oh, we have to. And it's like, yeah, you're shooting a TV show. You need something to happen.

Right. You also, like, need a float if you want to be part of the parade and not just exist on the side. They were obviously doing it. Yeah. It is kind of funny, I guess. Watching this in 2023, I feel like it. it's even more stark, how they're celebrating pride with like a fuzzy pink float and like shirtless men and she know rubbing sunscreen on Jackson's back. And there is just absolutely no queer

representation happening in this episode like of any kind. It was like a Chippendale show. But like full, the whole thing was just extremely heterosexual and Lisa Vanderpump based. Like they were, she's sitting on a throne. It is, it is kind of like going back in time. Obviously like Vanderpump Rules has had representation struggles, you know, well documented. We've, whatever. But it's like, they couldn't have even just like cast a gay best friend when this show started. Like, even though that trope is like problematic in and of itself, it's like, nobody thought like, oh, it would be fun to have like a bitchy gay guy on the side. I have a feeling that like they weren't thinking in terms of casting like for diversity whatsoever.

But what I'm more surprised about is that that person didn't sort of pre-exist naturally in the group. Yeah. I guess that's a little surprising. You make a good point, though, that in terms of casting, this show kind of cast itself. The only person who wasn't already in the Sir friend group was Sheena. And Sheena was a pivotal piece of why this show, you know, started, exists, whatever, because of the issue that she had had with Brandy. So there was the tie-in with Beverly Hills, which we talked about last week.

But it's pretty remarkable when you think about it, that it's like there's no extra pieces in the cast on season one of this show. And when we get to a point in later seasons where there's like, you know, 12, 15 people in the cast, it's like this season, there's six of them. And that's it. Right. Because they were all dating each other and cheating with each other. We didn't know that yet, though. It's like friends. Right.

The fact that we get a little more Schwartz in this episode. He's not full time, but he's definitely in the mix. And so it's really just three couples plus Gina. Like that is the whole cast. Like there's no, it is kind of like, she not only did these people mostly hate her, but also she's like the only one that doesn't, I mean, she's with Shay, but he's not really like participating as much. Like she was up against it.

Right. Well, I think that that's the dynamic that Lisa intentionally created when she's. was pitching the show because she knew that okay when the Sir group is really tight when new people come in Stasi bullies them out and everyone follows her

and they're all like fucking each other and she knows okay Brandy we have this tie-in she works at Villablanca why don't we move her to Sir and put her in there as like the threat

to this Queen Stossi And basically it was so obvious that that was what made sense to do to try to use Jax's to make her, make her jealous, like turn the sunscreen application on the float into like some sort of grand message. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, the sunscreen is only questionable because Jax is not trustworthy in general already. Right. Stasi has laid the groundwork of Sheena being, you know, homewrecking, Hunts. been stealing piece of shit. But really, I mean, we all know we have eyes. We have ears and, you know, intuition. Jacks is the one here who cannot be trusted as far as he can be thrown. But this episode really hinges on Stasi and Jacks' dysfunctional relationship, starting with the first scene at

Sir when Stossie is pissed at Jax because they both had 5 p.m. shifts at Sir. And rather than waking her up from her nap, I guess, or maybe she just... sleeps that late. And driving her to sir with him, he just left. And so she, she says she woke up 10 minutes before her 5 p.m. shift, which is just funny in and of itself that it's like, okay, it's, it's 4.50 p.m. in the afternoon. And you're like, why didn't it you wake me up? It's like, it's the middle of the day. But she had to get a ride with someone else. And she says that she'll just, like, she'll figure out her own way home because she's like done with him. These two just are like so chaotic in a way that is almost hard to watch for me.

Oh yeah. They're fighting about like not waking her up, but then she'll say in an interview, like, we talked about marriage a thousand times. But then she's like worried about the money because he's a model and she would have to, she would have to like take care of him. I mean, he's been living rent free at her apartment. That I forgot about that dynamic of their relationship that basically they had been together for two years, we're told, when this show is starting.

But it didn't really make sense because in the first episode, she says, we moved in together like three days after we started, three weeks after we started dating. Yeah. I don't know the exact timeline, but they've been together for a while. And he is just seemingly like a total mooch, low life who she just happened to get him a job at Sir Bartending because the modeling was like to hit or miss, I guess, with the money. We see him in a photo shoot with Schwartz later in the episode.

And it's like, yeah, I don't, I think he was ever going to have like a huge modeling career just saying. But it really is alarming, especially when you consider the fact that she is 23 and he is 33. Right. I totally like for that even seems so much more wild to me now being on the upper end of that range when the first time I saw it was on the lower end of the range. Right.

there's this, I feel like when you're younger, there's this idea that it's like kind of cool and hot to have like a young, an older guy. And like, she, I mean, Stasi drops the 23 age like four different times of this episode. She's like, I'm 23. I deserve a real man. I'm 23. I'm a fucking amazing catch. I'm an amazing catch. I deserve better than this. I am 23 years old. I'm not putting up with this shit. And now watching it, I mean, I am, I'm in the middle of their ages in this episode. I'm like, you're 23. Move on with your life. Go be free. Do whatever you want. Don't be waged down by the ankle chain that is Jack's Taylor. I think they had filmed a reality show together prior to

Vanderpump Rules. Yeah. Is what is like maybe part of the glue of their relationship. I don't get why she would be considering marriage when she's 23. Right. And she's, I mean, she's from a background. Like she is from New Orleans, went to an all-girls Catholic high school. Like I mean, she says her parents cut her off when she was when she graduated from college. But, you know, she's she comes from a privileged background. I don't know why she would be like rushing to settle for this shitty dude. Like it's very strange. Well, I think in those years, like the years that this was being filmed, there was no like, wait till you're 25 to even think about about finding a husband.

There was no, it really, it was very, the vibe was very much like, the second you get out of college, you should be looking for a husband. And like, that's what you should be dating for immediately. Right. Now there's like more of a buffer. I feel like it's a very different mindset that like the idea that your first like real good relationship, quote unquote, is supposed to be the one. The one. That's like, Stasi seems like she kind of just bought into that. That it's like, well, he's like, my boyfriend.

I love him. And 70% of the time he's great. The other 30%, we just won't. talk about. He's cheating on me. I caught something that I thought was very alarming when Schwartz and Jax are at the photo shoot together. Schwartz is, you know, kind of like juicing him up.

Schwartz's role in these first couple episodes seems very like, yeah, you're the man. Like, whatever. I'm a actor. And he, he is basically saying like, oh, Jacks, aren't you going to miss kissing girls and it being okay? And I'm like, wait, Stasi and Jaxe have allegedly been together for two years at this point. This is not a new thing that it's not okay for him to make out with random chicks. Like, what is happening with the timeline there?

I mean, the way he describes Jax's bedroom when they live together, they lived together before he lived with Stasi. He described it as a frat house and had a bed sheet for a wall. Even with that situation, he was pulling more girls. And he says it was like a rotating door that she. sheet. Oh, God. Which is just so gross to picture because, you know, he would probably, like, sneak one person in one side and one another girl at the other side. Like, that is something he would do.

Like, there was once a girl hiding under a bed from another girl. Like, you could know that. I want to see a picture of that setup. Just so I can, like, really see. Because it's probably even worse than I can imagine. But I just- Needs some money, I'm sure. So I just know it smelled crazy in there.

Oh, my God. I just, it must have reeked. in that three-person flex apartment. Oh my gosh. It really like, and the grossest people. Schwartz, who didn't even shower on his wedding day. Oh, my God. These people have given us so much.

I know. Thank you. But Stasi and Jax have another conversation when they go out to eat. And it's revealed that he slept in his car the night before rather than going home to Stasi, which again, she's questioning her future. Do I want to marry this man? It's like, no! Get out.

But also, he was so manipulative in this conversation because she starts with, she starts it with, where did you sleep last night? He goes, where do you think? And then Stasi immediately assumes that he's trying to imply she means like Sandoval's. She goes, Kristen says that you didn't sleep there. So he's like, I parked in my car in front of the apartment. Like, no. You didn't.

Yeah. Did it? Maybe at like 5 a.m. you rolled up in front of your apartment, but like I do not believe that he slept that that was the only place he slept that. Right. Maybe he spent a couple hours in his car so it was like an acceptable time to come home. Yes, what I'm saying. I don't know if he really was like parked outside the apartment. Oh yeah. The whole night. Just pining away for her. If only we had had like ring doorbell cameras at that time because I would love to see Stasi's ring footage of at what time Jacks actually pulled up outside the apartment. Or just like a snap map would have been helpful.

Oh, yeah. Find my friends. The location sharing really changed the game. Jacks would not have fared well. Oh, none of them would have turned that shit on, as we know. Probably for the best. So good, so good, so good. Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom rack stores now and up to 60% off.

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I want to take a quick moment aside from the plot to just talk about the statement necklaces that we're seeing on this show. I feel like I've recalled Stasi's statement necklaces being really prominent. But all of the women in the confessional. especially have just these massive, massive rocks around their neck. Sheena is wearing one at one point that looks like she has five brown avocados draped around her neck. That's really funny. I don't remember.

It's funny because I wasn't even thinking about this so much for the jewelry, but I was thinking for the clothing that unlike most of what we see on TV, they were wearing. things that like we would have worn in that time. Like they were clearly shopping at like Brandy Melville and like, you know, H&M and Forever 21. And it really felt, like I can't explain it. Like this was one of the few shows where I look at what they were wearing minus the jewelry or maybe even including the jewelry, but not the avocado necklaces, that I would maybe have worn. I could have seen myself wearing like their tank tops. Yeah.

I think that's something about going back because obviously now this show is in a different place in terms of production value and the resources that these people have and the glam and the outfits and even just reality TV in general has kind of leveled up. You know, even Housewives reunion outfits used to be like, you know, business casual essentially compared to what they are now. It's the Erica Jane effect. But watching watching these people who like really don't have very much money, it seems. like tried to put together kind of like the wardrobe necessary to do a show like this. They're just wearing like going out tops essentially. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what I think I liked about it. I was like, okay, I can shop in this budget range. Right. It's very much like and that contributed to the realness of it. You didn't feel like someone was outfitting them. You didn't feel like they were getting sent shit. They were clearly driving their cars. And I do want to remark on one car scene in this episode that.

really has stuck with me. I thought about it several times since I watched this. And that is that, okay, Kristen and Tom were dating at this time. Yes. She at one point shares that he lost his license because he doesn't check his mail. So he missed like his parking tickets and his like court violations. And so his license is suspended. So Kristen has to drive Tom Sandoval around everywhere he wants to go. And then he has the audacity later in the season to act like she doesn't do anything for him. It's actually kind of wild to see that he thinks he's like a, that he was never a functioning adult, really. Well, it's kind of, it's interesting knowing, having seen season 10 now, some of the same types of things he sort of planted the seeds about Ariana that it's like, oh, she doesn't, you know, buy the pens and the battery.

in the toilet paper and how dare she and she doesn't do a damn thing for me. It's like, okay, if that's a specific issue in your relationship, maybe it's worth having a conversation about. But to note the pattern of him kind of just complaining about people not like doing enough for him, that's something where it's like, no, that's a you problem. If your partner is coming up short in some specific arena, that's a conversation to be had. that's a conversation to be had. But just like griping about them not like doing shit for you is not like a productive

relationship conversation. Yeah, I also just don't really believe that the person whose license got suspended because he didn't open his mail is now suddenly the backbone of the Sandval Maddox household 10 years later. I just don't believe that. Well, that evolved. Now I'm sure he opens his mail so he can see the handwritten. letters that Raquel is sending him from her treatment facility.

Yeah. But here's the thing. This man is, it would be one thing if it was like, oh, yeah, San de Val, like, saved his money at one point. Like, no, he was buying, like, motorcycles and paying people to play music near him. It's like, it's just very much like, this man does not have his life together. Yeah. No, no.

It's tough. The pride float was really just, it took me back. to a time. Yeah. The fact that there's just like a troop of male dancers. There's the fuzzy pink friday. Ken is driving the truck with the float on it. That I was like, is that legal?

Is that safe? Is that? That was shocking. That was shocking. Like we couldn't hire a driver. The budget was in the trenches. I mean, you know what? Kudos to them for saving money because, you know, a pink fur float doesn't buy itself.

That's true. Kevin Lee's services. do not come cheap. We ho, darling. Oh, my gosh. That is honestly like, okay, so they're, they're on the float. And the big drama is that Jax asks Sheena to apply sunscreen to his back. And then all the girls are like heckling him and them from afar. They're like, you need that sunscreen for?

Oh, you're going to get burned. Classless. It's classless. Though the way that these women, specifically Stasi and Kristen and Katie, speak about class and being classy and having class is just so funny, especially considering, you know, in the episode in itself, but knowing the whole breadth of Vanderpump Rules as an overall work, it's like for somebody like Kristen Doty to have an opinion of Sheena's classlessness based on the fact that she, said yes to Jack's asking her to put sunscreen on his back. It's like so beyond the pale. It's like, what are you talking? What reality are you living in that you're like, see, that bitch doesn't have class.

Me on the other hand. It's also really funny because so they go to, they go back to Sir for a after party. Lance Bass is there. And Jackson and Sheena and all of them, they're clearly like doing their job. Like they're taking pictures for Sir. They're doing the Pride event. And Stasi goes up to fight with Jacks. And she's like, you're literally taking shirtless pictures with Sheena, the homewrecking

horror. It's like they're just doing the event for pride because Lisa is demanding that they don't have shirts on. Right. Like, you can't even say like take off your shirt. We have Sir swimsuit photo shoots that happen in these first few seasons. We have Sir Pride events. They're on a TV show together, obviously.

Like, it is, that's what kind of makes Stasi, I think, so great at this, is her commitment to disregarding the actual situation that they're in in real life. It kind of reminds me on the hills back in like season one of the hills, one of like, obviously there are lots of fake moments on the hills, but one of the ones that always sticks with me is when Lauren is working at the teen Vogue party and the other girls on the show are like, like, oh, can you sneak us in? And it's like, these women were already famous from being on reality TV, from being on this hit MTV show Laguna Beach. They were invited to the Teen Vogue party. Like, everybody's just there. But I respect Stasi's commitment to, you know, crafting the storyline that needs to happen

for the show, which is that Sheena, the home wrecking whore, is like lurking in the corners and how dare she want to talk to me at this night out? I'd rather stick hot needles in my eyes. I mean, you need somebody that kind of committed to the bit to make a show like this work. Yeah, they have to be unafraid that people will think we'll call them out like we are here. Yeah. And I think, I mean, to Sheena's credit, I think Sheena also knows that. I don't think she's dying to be friends with Stasi.

I think she knows that it's her job on this show to go have a one-on-one with her, even though it's going to go horribly. Right. So basically Stasi is freaking out this whole after party. And she goes and complains to Lisa about Jackson Sheena being together. And Lisa kind of is like not having it. She's like, you fight with him all the time. Why is this any different?

Why are you doing this? Go do your work. And then Stasi then goes to cry in the alley that Lisa was mean to her. And I'm not trying to be dramatic. Yeah, the crying. There's a lot of crying. Oh, there's a lot of crying. So emotional.

I mean, the night the night out, though, is also just a roller coaster. Sheena is like, doesn't give a sufficient apology. And then... Peter's birthday. Yes, Peter's birthday.

We meet Shea. We meet Shea. Jacks rolls up. He immediately pounds seven shots in a row before even acknowledging that Stasi is there. I forgot about that. That was haunting.

We got our first glimpse of Frank, the other sir bartender who brought Stasi to the party because Jax was otherwise engaged, I don't know. She says he was at work. Right. He said he was on his shift.

Right, right, right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Not everybody can get cut early from there. It shifted, sir. Only most of them. So they are having their big blowout fight. Stasi says, I've done everything to make this work.

You need to realize what it's like to not have me. Because apparently, Jacks is just going to combust if he doesn't have Stasi. I mean, paying his rent is something notable. Yeah, I mean, plus he. was sleeping outside slash wherever the fuck he was sleeping. It's funny how he's like, you're going to go two years and then just turn it off. You just don't like me anymore. And like he chases her around.

But it's also like she likes toying with him. Yeah. So obviously her feelings aren't just gone. Well, and it's funny because like the way that breakups work really is like it's not that you turn off the feelings like a faucet. It's that it's like the issues that are pushing against the feelings are, you know, it's more. then it's worth, essentially. So it's like same thing we've seen with Scandival. It's not like Ariana broke up with Tom because she all of a sudden just, you know,

turned off the feelings faucet and was like, I don't like you anymore. It's like, no, you do that because you, the other person ruined your life, essentially. Right. And what they did makes you stop liking them. Exactly. Like, I'm sure when she saw him come in and pound seven shots, she was, that was kind of her whole thing. It's like, I don't need this 33-year-old man to be.

acting so immature. Like, why do you need, why do you need to go pound seven shots before you say hello to me? Right. Just have a cocktail like an adult. Right. Or a shot followed by one core's light. Oh my God. Yeah, but they have a great fight in the parking lot. She says, I say, prove yourself to me and every day you fail. And I loved that the very, it's so soap opera. The very last shot of this, they're walking down some like retail street. There's just a sign that Dylan's candy bar coming fall 2012. Yes. Oh my God.

I got that too. It was just like perfectly in focus. I'm like that is what could be more perfect than like I love getting like a timestamp in a show of like when this was filmed. Whether it's like a billboard for a movie that's coming out or something and you're like, oh, 2014. And Dylan's candy bar coming fall 2012 just feels like the exact correct vibe. It's so interesting now to see like you said, I think in the first. episode was it was weird to see Stasi and Jacks together. It's just really wild to see how people's lives can evolve. Like she, Sassie has gotten, I think, what she set out for. Yeah. In my view.

So is he kind of. I mean, I think they're both in situations that work for them. I don't know. Does that mean that Jacks has always been faithful to Brittany since the time he wasn't? I don't, I don't know. We're not seeing him on TV, mostly at least, you know, if we weren't. until the Scandivalve rewatch episode. To make sure we see him again. But like Stasi, I mean, she, she's often babyland. She has her husband. She, I think Bo is like good for her, whatever.

She's said that being, and this is really, I mean, this is a bigger question about the whole thing. She's said, like, being on the show promoted bad behavior. Yeah. The show did well when we did bad things. And I mean, that's kind of a catch-22 of it. the show has never been as good as when Sandoval cheated on Ariana for seven months, at least, with her best friend. Right. Like, I don't think Stasi is, Stasi is certainly not the kind of person who would watch this and be like, oh, yeah, that was the high point of my life.

But there's also, the writing is on the wall that this is why the show took off. And this is why these people now have the things they have. So it's like, you know, at the end of the day, you know, it worked out. If you're going to do bad things, at least let us watch for entertainment. At least let us watch, you know, if Sheena's going to put some screen on Jackson's back and the camera better be there. And it was. And we are so grateful for it. I am the devil.

Don't you forget it. Don't you ever forget it. Sammy, thank you so much. Thanks so much everyone for listening. Don't forget to rate review and follow the show wherever you listen. You can follow us on Instagram at Bravo. by Betches and until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mention It All is produced by Dylan Hafer, Sean Kilby, Jorge Morales Pico, and Rebecca

Sous McCat. Editing by Horace Pico, Social Media by Dylan Hafer, guest booking by Dylan Hafer and Allie Friedlander. Be sure to follow at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter. Pay off your home, travel for life, drive a Ferrari. In celebration of the world premiere of the Monopoly Big Board Bucks slot machine by Aristocrat Gaming, Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is giving one person a $1.6 million dream package. The biggest prize in Yamava's history. Club Serrano members can earn daily instant prizes and secure a spot in the finale May 29th.

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