Mention It All - Pump Rules Rewind Ep. 3: You Don’t Know Jax

Episode Date: June 2, 2023

Dylan and Sami return for another VPR rewind episode, and it’s chaos: Stassi has left Jax for Frank, Kristen melts down about Tom’s former fling, and Jax makes a valiant (?) effort to win Stassi back. To finish things off, they weigh whether Frank was any kind of upgrade from Jax. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever rearranged your furniture and discovered the carpet underneath looks brand new, while the rest of it looks, well, not so new? It's time for a carpet upgrade. At the Home Depot, we have stylish choices at simple prices from all the top brands. Best of all, we can install it for you, starting at only 49 cents per square foot. So all you have to do is pick your perfect floor. Start your carpet project today at the Home Depot. How doers get more done. Exclusions apply for licenses see Home Depot.com slash license numbers. Hey everyone, welcome back to the Mention It All podcast. I'm Dylan Hafer and you know what time it is. It is VPR or rewind time. Sammy back once again. How's it going? I am having so much fun rewatching these in between the time that we're waiting for the reunions to start airing for season 10. I know these are meant to be evergreen, but we, you know, we got to give you the context. It's a, you know, a really ripe time to be talking about Vanderpump Rules. Today, we are,

are talking about season one, episode three, you don't know jacks. You don't know jacks. These episode titles are really funny. Like next week's is Vegas with a vengeance. I'm like, they really were just like balls to the wall. We're coming up with some really out there names. They are. Sometimes they do quotes and sometimes they'll do like an alliteration I've been noticing. You know, they're good. I thought that it was an interesting choice to do hashtag scandibal for the finale. Like, yeah. Do you do a house? Do you do a hashtag. I know. I love like analyzing episode titles

is fun. Like one of my favorites was Desperate Housewives. Like every episode title is a Stephen Sondheim lyric which is just like the most random like TV Easter egg. But we were just talking before we started recording about how one of the most fun parts of rewatching these old episodes that we've

seen before but not for a while is like there are just so many little perfect moments that aren't like the big iconic scenes that we talk about, but are so funny to relive. Like, in this episode, when Natalie is freaking out about the sur-schedule being a mess, because everyone has audition, barbecue, et cetera, you know, busy, busy, busy.

And Lisa's like, oh, you know, don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff. It's like, what are you talking about? What is that? Right. You know, I was, that's funny. You mentioned that because I was thinking about that scene and whether we should even, like, mention that on this. Because it's funny, but it's also interesting because they're so.

like in the weeds of running the restaurant and like who's on the schedule and they make a plot out of Sheena asking to pick up new shifts. Sammy, Sheena needs five shifts a week or else it's hard for her to pay the bills. It probably was, honestly. Like they're in WeHo in 2012,

shit costs money and they are in the trenches slinging slinging crispy chickens. There are no influencer deals. There's no skinny tea. There's nothing they can be promoting at this point on Instagram. And they didn't even have like, you know, the typical mactor of WeHo.

It is funny to think about when they were filming this season, there was no attraction of coming to Sir except for the fact that Lisa from Housewives owned it. Like, obviously she was there sometimes probably more when they were filming than on an average day. But like there wasn't, it wasn't this like character breakfast. at Disney World type of thing, where it's like, wow, like, if I come to Sir, maybe, like, Charlie will be the one taking my drink order, which now is, again, not really a thing. Like, I went to Sir a year ago. Peter was working, like, poor, sad Peter. But, like...

He was working when I went there, too. He's always working at Sir. Yeah, he actually works there. He, yeah, he's the only... I think, like, Raquel and Charlie went through, like, a working at Sir phase. They all kind of have to go through that initiation. Right. That's the initial.

And then, you know, we're not really pretending anymore. I mean, back in the day, it was, it was real. It was so real. And I also noticed that Peter was in more interviews. Yeah. They kind of tried to make Peter more of a thing. I mean, he kind of always has been a thing. But he was, he seemed to, they seemed to be trying to make him more of one of the main guys.

Yeah. Like next, like the next week's episode that we're talking about is the Vegas trip. And like that is like probably Peter's like biggest role. he's ever had on Vanderpump rules. Until now. Until now, until his like fake flirtationhip with Raquel, but, you know, whatever. He gets what he can get. I do just have to say that at this time, I would have gone to a restaurant for Lisa Vanderpump.

Yeah. But I would have gone to Villa Blanca. That's really. Right. Because you would be like, I want like a good, a nice lunch knowing that it's the establishment of Lisa, not like I want to get drunk and like spot somebody. Exactly. And that year, I went to her book signing of her cookbook. So that was the kind of thing I was interested in doing going to Villablanca for a nice glass of wine. Oh, yeah, the divine addiction. Yes, divine addiction. I can't find it. I'm like, I really, I know it's somewhere. I don't think I got rid of it, but I really, really want to find it. I did later, probably like two years later, go to Sir and take a picture in Sir Alley. So it quickly, you know, became a thing.

The alley has now been gentrified. It's like painted white. It's not the same. It's really disappointing. It was full purple. Yeah. No propane tanks. No propane tanks.

When we start this episode, we are post-Stosie and Jack's breakup. I was surprised to see how quickly Kristen and Katie are like invested in salvaging the Stossi and Jack's relationship. Because, you know, she's at the house. She put in her 30 days notice. for the apartment. She has to move. She's like either months from now, hopefully I'll either be so over it or he's, he'll be like, I just lost one of the best things in the world. And as Katie, Katie doesn't believe, she says, I'll believe it when I see it about them breaking up. Kristen asks if it's just a break. And then they're like, oh, but you'd have the cutest babies.

We thought you would get married. It's like, you did? Right. Like, he's a 33 year old. He's 10 years older than her and she's paying his bills. I didn't really understand that at all, but then you look at their relationships and who they're dating. And you're like, oh, I see why they're just kind of invested in it. Later on, she says that they're invested in like the group dynamic. And maybe she was maybe they were worried about like the show and how it would, because it was so early. Yeah. They were like, we don't want Frank to be on the show. We want Jacks to be on the show. And we need you guys to be okay together. But yeah, maybe that's what they were kind of saying.

Yeah. On the show, I wonder. We do get a more troubling glance at Kristen's, you know, status in her relationship. When she and Stasi are at this photo shoot, which first of all, I forgot that Stossie and Kristen were like allegedly models when this show started. Like I didn't, I don't really see that for them, but. By the way, I know, remember what we said that we weren't, we didn't realize. that Katie was so into music. Yeah.

Her Instagram handle is music kills Kate. So like where, that must have come from something. Yeah. Music. I mean, it didn't really happen. We don't talk enough about how funny it is that her Instagram handle is still

in 2023, music kills Kate. She's like bad gal Riemerie of Vanderpump. Right. At this point, that's her brand and she's sticking to it and I respect it. But we meet back up at the silk fashion shoot that is silk with a why if you're keeping track.

The photo shoot vibe feels very like we're trying to be the hills, but like six years too late. Yeah. But then after, when they have a break from the photo shoot, I guess, it seems like they have a lot of downtime at this work gig. One of the girls at the photo shoot, they were talking about sir, and she goes, oh, I used to live with Tom Sandoval. And Kristen is immediately spiraling because she realizes that Tom used to live with this pair

of her words, porn star-looking twins, and she knows that he hooked up with one of them. And if this is the one that he hooked up with, God forbid, it's going to be an issue. But also Stasi, like, pushed her into being upset. Stasi was like, I don't know how you're okay right now. Because Kristen wasn't initially spiraling, and she wasn't initially, I think Stossie, like, queued her to be really jealous, which Tom Sandoval calls out later in the episode. I hate to give him credit for that. But I mean, Kristen clearly has some attachment issues.

So let's call it that. Stasi pushed her into spiraling. Yeah. But on the other hand, it was still a ridiculous spiral. It was like years ago. None of the people in this group have like a healthy view of how relationships should work. Like the fact that's the fact that in the last couple episodes, all this all these interactions with Sheena and Jacks, it's like, well, this home wrecking horror piece of shame. is going to come in and, you know, encroach on my man.

Meanwhile, Sheena is in full, like, cartoon character. He's like, Happy birthday, Shea. Like, I love you so much. Right. She's heavily invested in that happening. Right. Whereas, so now Stasi's like, well, I mean, if this, like, trashy little tramp was hooking up with Tom years in the past, how are you literally going to sit there and watch her

and not just, like, take a bite out of this girl? Jeline, how did you? Dale her voice. She actually has a, had a distinct voice. And that day, I don't know if she still sounds like that even. I don't know. It's all in the ours. You know, you got to get your, I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. You're very good at impressions. Thank you. That night at Sir, first of all, there was one cinematography choice that I just had to call out. In these like interstitial shots, they have a camera positioned on the drink tray as it's being carried by the waiters like two different times.

And so it feels like you're like on a GoPro walking around, sir. It's like, okay, first of all, I'm dizzy. Second of all, Jackson Frank commiserating about how, you know, his breakup with Stasi and she wants to take the family dog. But Jacks is good because he's a guy. All he needs is a couch, a microwave and a bed. Right. That's the problem.

That's why she doesn't want to be with him. Right. That's why she, you know, made, she. forced the Dylan's candy bar breakup is that she wanted to she's like I'm done with you she's like I'm 23 years old I can't be with the guy who's satisfied with a microwave in a bed 23 years old she's like I am I am practically a middle aged I can't be running around with a dude who just wants a microwave but speaking of she is also she also does have Kristen and katie in her ear who are like we thought you guys were going to get married you're like Barbie and

Ken. Remember when he picked you up and you were wearing a sports bra and a ponytail? And it's like, you drove off to Malibu. It's like, why are you, why are, they were literally like, sabotaging her from breaking up with this deadbeat. Yeah, it's weird because Katie is saying all of that good stuff, but then at the same time she acknowledges that Jacks and Stasi break up and get back together all the time. And it's like, so this is your perfect fairy tale example of a couple that you want to last forever, yeah, they can't make it through two weeks of shifts without having a fight. Like, the math isn't nothing. He didn't wake her up from her nap, Dylan.

I know. He didn't wake her up. Oh, my God. She's 23 and they would have beautiful babies, as Katie said. So good, so good, so good. Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom Rack stores now and up to 60% off. Stock up and save on the brands you love like Vince, Sam Edelman, frame and free people.

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Work your magic. Sandoval shows up not to work just to hang out with Jax and Peter. And then Kristen, who is working, charges up to tell Sandoval that she ran into Cassandra at the photo shoot. Casey. And she's like, she's like, well, she's like, and she's saying, I lived with Sandoval. And I'm like, I know he's only lived with one set of hooker twins. And then Tom, okay, this is one of the scenes where like, did Tom handle this the best way he could have?

No. He knows Kristen. He knows this is going to be a trigger for her. But at the same time, Kristen, oh my God. She's going to throw up, really? It's also, it's just so ridiculous because it's like, this was a long time ago. And I just, I just don't, I can't understand it. Like, if she didn't have this photo shoot with this girl, why would this, this wouldn't matter.

It's just because, like, you had a photo shoot with her, but that's not his fault. Right. And she already knew that he had hooked up with one of these twins in the past. So, like, the information wasn't new. It's just like, oh, now I have eyes on this girl and now I cannot cope with the information. Right. I mean, I think, again, this might be them playing it up for the show because even Stasi was the one who, like, pushed her to ask. She was like, yo, Casey, did you have sex with Tom Sandoval or wasn't your sister?

She's like, we were kids. Right. It's like, this was years ago. They probably haven't spoken in a long time. I think they just want drama. Yeah, that's fair. I'm watching this like it's like cinema. Verite and like everything that's happening is like the gospel truth. And then you're like,

maybe they're playing it up for the cameras. And I'm like, oh, I guess I could be. It's not true. No, I know what you mean. But I'm watching the present day stuff as cinema verite because that's like unfolding in front of our eyes. Yeah. That's true. But this, I mean, it's still real, even if they're playing it up. Yeah. They weren't seasoned. Yeah. They weren't seasoned. And you can tell because some of the scenes that they're having are just so random. Like they're not, it doesn't feel like they are kind of having

that producer mindset at all. Like, the way this whole, like, Jack's Stasi Frank situation is handled is just so, like, haphazardly thrown together. The next day, Stasi and Kristen are at Dry Bar, which, like, could it be more 2012? It's perfect. You know, Stasi is,

with Frank and she says that it's like a mature dating relationship. They've been together for like three days. Two hours. But then, you know, Jack's cleaned the apartment once. So now she is quote 100% torn between Jacks and Frank. It's like, girl, your immaturity is showing. This seems like she's emulating what you'd see in like on the hills or the OC. Or sex in the city even.

Yes, exactly. It seems like she's emulating because, okay, I don't. think there's, let's say like the extreme end of self-producing is what they do on Beverly Hills where they will like say, we will not talk about this or they will plan a certain conversation or no, let's say the extreme end of self-producing is Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandeval saying they're going to have a conversation about how Ariana has. Yeah, the batteries. Yep. Yeah, exactly. So what they're doing here is like, I just think they're being more dramatic than they would necessarily be. But they're, they don't have any like side conversation than it's

like I was just being dramatic for the cameras. Right. I think this is really what's happening. Right. Like Stossi's Big versus Aden is two sur bartenders who are going to treat her like shit. Right. I mean, I forgot that Frank even existed for a while. Frank burned really hot and really fast.

If you would ask me like six months ago, who was Jack's mad at when he was in the white sweater? I would have never have been able to come up with that it was Frank. I would have sworn that it was like Sandoval. Yeah. I mean, Frank was, Frank is around for all of two weeks, but you know, it's a mature dating relationship. But, but. He's 23. How old is Frank, I wonder?

Younger than Jacks? He reads as like similar in age to Jacks. Shall I Google it? Older than Stasi for sure. It was Frank on Vanderpump Rules. Okay, I'm getting the sense. We'll put a pin in this. We'll put a pin in this.

I'll come back to it tomorrow. Okay. So this episode sort of comes to a head at this night where Frank and Stasi and some other Sir D. Lister's that aren't really on the show but are, you know, kind of the backup friends are going out at supper club and Jack's, you know, he wants to go get his girl back. So he tells Kristen and Katie that he's going to go to supper club because he is done playing this role of getting drunk and being the guy that's going to hurt her. And he doesn't think that Frank has any class for swooping in and, you know, picking up Stasi,

which, you know, I don't disagree, but it's funny for Jacks to be the one that's calling somebody classless. Yeah. I mean, this was very much like, I'm going to go win her back. It's very, but first he has this conversation with Kristen and Katie, like an intimate conversation with the two of them at a bar. I don't think it was at Sir. but basically they're like convincing him to go after her.

It's very soap operatic. It's very soap operatic for Jacks to be, you know, like usually I would be out banging chicks left and right. But now I'm sad. And it's like, yeah, go get your girl back. Go, go, go, go. And to be honest, Frank kind of sets this up perfectly because he gets trashed at supper club. He's being a mess. Stasi is like turned off.

She's getting the ick from him, which, you know, only a matter of time. Frank is clearly no better than Jack's in this situation. So Jacks arrives and sort of does save the day. And he's like, dude, you're drunk. I'm going to take my girl. And Stasi leaves with him. But like, by the next morning, she's crying again because she found out that maybe Jack's got a girl pregnant in Vegas.

This whole sequence was so dramatic. So, so Jacks comes in. He's like whispering in her ear. and she's like crying in the corner like, I don't know. But she loves it. Like, let's be honest. She is loving this. She loves that there are two men fighting over her.

Then Jacks takes Frank out. Frank basically goes on like kind of a rampage and he reveals to, who did he reveal it to? Was it Jen? Jen. Jen. Yes. Jen.

I think Jen and another server had a baby, like another person from that, that, whatever. From the B team. Just some other history. I can update us. The second string. Yeah. Where are they now? But that was all very dramatic

because it was just like wild. I don't know. Sassy doesn't want to date another overgrown frat boy, so she might as well just go back to Jacks. She might as well just go back to Jacks. You know, he's going to take her out of the club. And this, but then he drops this abortion bomb or, you know, pregnancy, Jacks reportedly got a girl, Vegas,

pregnant in Vegas, just a matter of mom. months ago. So that would have been, of course, cheating on Stasi. We kind of catch up with her the next morning and she's heard this rumor now and she believes it. She's like, I can't believe, I can't believe I ever believed him. I can't believe I took that piece of shit back. And Frank says that he was in the car with Jacks when this woman called to tell him that she was getting an abortion. So that's where his source is coming from, apparently. Because he was covering. He was working. He was working. with Jacks. That's how they know each other, basically. Right. And so Stasi, of course, is having a breakdown over this information. She decides, fuck it. I'm going to miss my surshift. I don't care

if I get suspended. This is one of my favorite quotes. She says, I really couldn't make it to work. There's no fucking way I could have walked around serving crispy chickens to people knowing this information. That was the best. She's really so, she's so dramatic in the best way. Yeah, like she just, she was perfect for this type of show because the way she talks is so hyperbolic and over the top that it's like, yes, you come across like a character. And that is, that's really what you need on these shows. You need people who feel like they're being authentic, but their authentic personalities are so wild. Over the top. Over the top that it is, you know, this wow factor, this entertainment.

And, you know, when she says they're going to drink the crystal. and fuck jacks and you know all this stuff they put the cigarette butts in the crystal bottle they text him to come get his shit like it it it is like soap opera that's what you were saying right and it also so it's funny because earlier in the episodes sheena was talking about how she wants to take on extra shifts and then stasi conveniently can't come to her shift so she a lot basically they replaced Stasi with Sheena for the week as a penalty for Stasi because she's not showing up because she can't serve crispy chicken to people in this state. So she, so basically now you have like the Stasi Sheena set up that also is at work as well. Right. Because eventually it's going to be Stasi's time

to return to Sir and she, Sheena's going to have usurped her. But the shot of, the shot of Natalie on the schedule crossing out Stasi and writing S.S. H-E, like misspelling Sheena's name. And LVP's thought, and I put Sheena wrong. That'll shake it up a bit. It's like, yes, this is perfect. This is A-plus. A-plus story editing, truly.

Yeah, like, this is the kind of thing that makes me think, like, no, these shows aren't scripted, but, like, somebody had a really great idea and executed it flawlessly. Yeah, it really was great. And they were game for it. That's the other thing. Like they were all in on it. Right. Even Frank was like when they're all, it's so interesting that like they all gathered in Stasi and Jack's apartment that next morning, like this whole group of people sitting on the couch that we've never really seen since.

And Frank is going really wild and kind of revealing his anger issues. And then at the time, like Kristen and Katie are still sort of doubtful that this is true and thinks that Frank is making it out. Yeah, the way that Stasi texts Kristen and Katie, like, I'm really upset. You need to come over. And so they just assume that she's like sitting at home alone spiraling. And then they walk in and there's like all these randos on the couch. And they're like, we're the ones that are like on the cast of the TV show. These people are like, we don't really know them.

Maybe you're friends. But like they're not supposed to be like the ones that you're doing the scene with. Right. Exactly. When Kristen's like, Frank is being a total ape. Like, shut up Frank. Like, he was. He's like, I'm going to fucking put him.

What did he say? He's, I'm going to put him in the fucking hospital. Hospital. But it's like Stasi wants him to come here. Yeah, it's very clear. Like, this is the first episode that Frank really is like a main character in. And it is immediately clear that he's just as unstable as Jacks. It's true.

She has a type. He's not an upgrade in. any way he's just like a different dude. Right. Well, I now have an answer on his age. Okay. He was 32 and 2020. So now he must be 35.

So at the time, he must have been 30, 23. He must have been her age. Oh, wow. For close to her age. Oh, God. He was around her age. I know. I thought he looks older.

Maybe it's, this is in life and style. Okay. Well, we like life and style. Maybe. I know. So, I mean, I'm just telling you, you know, I think. Damn. Stasi also said on one of her podcast episodes that he tried to sell a sex tape that they made together.

Oh my God. So I honestly think maybe he was a downgrade. Yeah. I mean, we don't ever, we don't get to watch his story play out the way that we watched Jax's unfold over the next eight or so years. So it's hard to really say. But, you know, I wish him well. He's living a normal life in Santa Monica. I wish everyone well.

He's living a normal life in Santa Monica. Frank is probably a downgrade. But in the meantime, it's time for Jackson Sandoval to go clean his stuff out of the apartment. Like I said, the cigarette butts and the crystal bottles. $600 worth of crystal. Jacks is wearing an inside out sweater with the sleeve ripped all the way down the middle. He says he's never cheated on Stasi. And, you know, Sandbal is there to be Sandoval.

Yeah, Sandoval lets him stay at his house. He says what I thought was just such a ridiculous quote. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger? like radiation. And, um... Okay, I wonder if he stands by that now. What a clown. Oh, he also says he can always tell when Jacks is lying.

So he's definitely telling the truth about this Vegas situation. So that'll be... We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. There was one more funny thing that Stasi left him a check. Oh, yeah. And she wrote cheating in the memo.

And he goes, like, she is really funny. She is. She is. She is very funny. We can't deny it. And next week, what a treat. We have Stasi's first ever birthday episode in Vegas. Can't wait to talk about it.

Thank you, Sammy, for coming back with me again. We will be back next week with episode four. We will be back in Vegas. In the meantime, don't forget to rate review and follow the show so you never miss an episode. You can follow us on Instagram at Bravo by Betches. And until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mention It All is produced by Dylan Hafer, Sean Killed.

Wilby, Jorge Morales Pico, and Rebecca Sousmacat. Editing by Jorge Morales Pico, social media by Dylan Hafer, guest booking by Dylan Hafer and Ali Friedlander. Be sure to follow at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter. All. Pay off your home, travel for life, drive a Ferrari. In celebration of the world premiere of the Monopoly

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