Mention It All - Rumors & Nastiness At The Trixie Motel Ft. Meredith Marks

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

On the heels of an epic RHOSLC episode, Meredith Marks stops by the studio to break it all down with Dylan. She shares some much-needed context for the Palm Springs dinner from hell, and doesn’t mince words when it comes to her feelings about Angie K. She also talks about how she hit refresh for this season, and her philosophy for dealing with rumors and nastiness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Betches Media presents. Ha ha, laugh, funny. Mention It All, a Bravo by Betches podcast. We don't say that, but now we said it. With me, Dylan Hafer. We're going to check me, boo. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Mention at All podcast.

I'm Dylan Hafer. And today, I am very excited to be joined in the studio for the first time by Meredith Marks. I am so happy to be here for the first time. Thank you for having me. I am so glad you're finally here. This season of Salt Lake City is. really heating up. I'm really enjoying it. I think everyone is really enjoying it. How does it feel to be

in season four? It's a new year. You know, I feel like each year I get a little more comfortable with the whole process. You know, it's always like a surprise when things start to air. And now I've just learned to expect the unexpected, which I guess is very fitting since I'll be seeing Julie Chen and watch what happens live tonight. I think going back, few seasons, obviously one of your iconic, you know, sayings was, I'm disengaging. And I think people were not sure kind of how long you were going to stick around because, you know, on Housewives, it's like if you, if you want to disengage, maybe you're not going to keep choosing to come back. And I think it feels like you've kind of, you've like weathered that phase.

And now it feels like you really are kind of fully comfortable in the space. Would you say that's kind of inaccurate. Yeah, and I think also, like, what's important to understand is when I talk about disengaging, it doesn't mean that I'm, like, ignoring the situation or just completely walking away from it. It means that at the moment, I feel that things are too heated, and it's not the time to be productive and addressing whatever the problem at hand is, and it can be revisited later, or potentially never. I mean, that is always a possibility, but that's not the point when I walk out of a situation, the intent is to revisit it.

Yeah. And I think also it's like it's a long season. It might be more than one season. And so if you, you know, sometimes taking, you know, a few days, a few weeks, whatever, to let something breathe and develop on its own leads to a better outcome down the road. Absolutely. I mean, it's what I learned in marriage counseling. And we're working on that still.

So coming into this season, you seemed to be really intent on turning over a new leaf with Lisa. And I'm curious kind of, like we were saying, with that thought process of things take time, obviously it's been a rocky couple of years in that friendship. What was your feeling coming into this year? Yeah. I mean, the thing is, like, I know that the women like to say whatever they like to say about me to spin this narrative about me, like that I'm this horrible grudge holder or whatever they want to put out there, which go for it. I don't really care. I know my truth. The reality of the matter is, you know, when we started filming season three, it was about a week after reunion. And I hadn't had a moment to digest or process anything. And, you know, it was just,

it was too much. And I needed some time and some space. And no one wanted to give me that. They wanted to just keep pouring the gas on the fire and try to just incite me and irritate me. But if you notice, after Arizona, when Lisa actually did apologize to me, I never talked about her tantrum again unless somebody else brought it up. You know, obviously I would respond, but I never brought it up again. It wasn't something I was consumed with. I was moving on. I didn't know what our friendship meant or in what capacity.

I was just moving on. Yeah, I imagine that when you're in a sort of contained environment like this where, you know, obviously you're expected to kind of move things along, it can feel like if it's, if you're not personally ready for it, it's like give me my space and then we can come back at a later date. Exactly. It wasn't for me. I just needed time and space. That's how I deal with things. And it wasn't about we're friends, we're not friends, were anything. It's just give me a little room. Stop, you know, berating me with this stuff. And I'll move on and do my thing. And eventually

maybe we come full circle and things are great. And eventually maybe we don't. I don't know. I don't foresee the future. So coming into season four, it was another year of not a lot of between reunion and airing and starting filming the new season. Do you kind of feel like you go into a new season with a little bit of a new energy clean slate? Or did you kind of have like a list of things that you felt like you needed to handle going into it? You know, coming into this year, we were very divided, as I think everyone is pretty well aware. And that's not going to bode well. Like, we're not filming two separate shows, you know? So it's like, how do we bridge this gap? How do we make it so that this is a workable situation for us, you know, to maintain some

kind of a relationship here, a friendship of some sort, you know, we just, you don't know where it's going to go. And like I said, the same thing with Lisa. It's not like you have to be full circle back to the same place you are at. It's how do we define our relationships from the point we're at? now. And, you know, it's okay that they change. They, they're not meant to be the same. If you're waking up the same 10 years later, you're doing something really wrong. We're supposed to grow and evolve as people. I think especially with the four, the four of you that have been on the show the whole time now, it does feel like we've seen a lot of evolution in those individual relationships, in the group dynamic. I know right now on the show, you are in a little bit of a

tough spot with Whitney, you know, bringing Angie on the trip to Palm Springs. You were very calm in that moment when you first saw Angie at the pool. What was your kind of internal monologue at that point? Were you focused on kind of not letting your guard down? Or like, what was, what was that moment like? You know, to me, it's not something that I would ever do. I have, you know, I was raised with manners and I don't crash things. I don't bring people who are uninvited. and not talk to the hostess. Like if I felt that somebody was being left out for some reason or, you know, whatever Whitney's reasoning was for doing what she did, I would have called me and talked to me about it.

You know, that's just how I do things. I would never have done that that way. However, it is what was done. And in my view, she was there. Like, I don't know why she had this expectation of being invited. I have hundreds of friends all over the world who I know much better. I barely know Angie at the end of the day. She's someone who had been around half a dozen times socially, you know, whatever.

I'd never gone out with her one-on-one or as couples. I have hundreds of people all over the world who fit that bill. This was a little trip, a small, small trip about building trust. So why would I invite someone who I barely know who has been very unpleasant to me thus far? It doesn't make sense. Right. It is when you put it like that that you, you know, half a dozen times or whatever, she came around, you know, in the later stages of last season.

And then she was at the reunion telling you that you had no people skills. And then it's like, you know, for obviously she got brought on the show this season as a full-time cast member. But that doesn't mean all of a sudden that you are, you know, going to like draw her close. No, I mean, she's had nothing nice to say about me in the press. and podcasts and interviews. And at one point, she did say, I will never be friends with Meredith now that I'm so close to Lisa. And that's fine.

Why would you expect to be invited on a trip? And why would you want to go on a trip with someone you are making such a strong statement about? And not only that statement, a multitude of statements. So I just, I didn't understand it. Yeah. And then it did seem like she was kind of finding every moment from there on, on the trip to be like re-frustrated about not being included like with the clothing swap that you did which I thought was hilarious. But it's like, yeah, like you didn't get assigned a pairing

because I planned this before you were supposed to be here. Right. I mean obviously I, you know, I did the best I could to be kind, but when you have someone unexpected showing up and you have planned activities where people are paired off or gifts that you only brought so many because you didn't expect others to be there. That's just how it's going to unfold. And, you know, it felt to me like she was just looking to start a fight with me the entire trip. And, you know, eventually you get what you ask for. And quite frankly, leaving on that trip, I had gotten that morning some very distressing news. And you keep poking. Eventually, you know, I have other things going on. Like, do I really care what Angie Kay thinks of me? No, I barely know you. I couldn't care less.

You don't know me, so what you think of me is completely irrelevant because it's either things you've made up or heard because you barely have had any interactions with me to make any real opinions. You know, when someone's going to keep poking and prodding and you've got other things going on that are distressing you and upsetting you and you're trying to put them away because you're trying to host this trip and the one person who's not invited is going to keep poking, eventually you get what you ask for. Make every get together chill. This Memorial Day, get up to an extra $1,000 off select top brand appliances like LG. Plus, get free delivery at the Home Depot. Tackle pool towels and camp laundry with a large capacity washer. And host in style with a fridge serving craft ice, mini craft ice, cube dice, and crushed ice. Shop appliance savings now through June 3rd at the Home Depot.

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Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. The dinner really felt like sort of a... Obviously, it was clear that you were. were, you know, dealing with some stuff and it felt like an energy that we haven't really seen very much before. And it, I mean, it was a little tough to watch because it did feel like there was kind of this disconnect of Angie's in this place where she's kind of like, you know, rubbing salt in a wound or kind of, you know, like you said, poking. Do you feel like, is there anything

that you feel like you can like clear up from that dinner scene from your point of view? Because It just was, it felt very chaotic to watch, I guess. It was very chaotic. And, well, first of all, one thing I do want to clear up on the outfit swap was that that outfit, I picked two outfits for Lisa. That one was meant as a joke. I did not really think she was going to wear it. I picked this very chic dress that was very much her vibe.

And she was a very good sport, I have to say. But that was really not intended. I swear I did not want her wearing what looks like I don't know what that skirt was, a bathing suit cover up basically. Okay. She looked fine, by the way. Like, Lisa could kind of wear anything. That might have been the beginning of the end of our relationship if that had been

intentional. Okay. So, but no, as far as the dinner goes, you know, I had that morning, I had gotten the news from a friend of mine that her grandchild was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy. And it was something that was, you know, distressed. both from the illness standpoint and also because I had been very busy preparing for the trip and she had been trying to get in touch with me for a few days. And I felt like I had failed as a friend and I was in a very sensitive space. Yeah. I think it's it's tough to, you know, to take a step back

when we watch all of these shows and you guys are obviously, you know, going through these events and trips and things as a friend group. There always is stuff happening in the background. And I think we get some of the best moments when people can sort of have that empathy, even if you don't know exactly all the details of the situation. And it felt like maybe that night there wasn't quite that understanding or that grace being given in your direction. No, there was not. And I mean, the whole day I had been, you know, very clearly, invisibly upset.

I had been, you know, holding tears back. And I didn't want to get into any of it because the whole point was, you know, it's kind of like when we, you know, when we took a trip the year before that was supposed to be trying to support Jen while she was, you know, dealing with getting ready for a trial and the trip became about everything other than that. And I didn't want that to happen here. I wanted the trip to be about these trust building exercises and trying to kind of regroup, rebuild, find where we can go in our relationships from there. And so I was really trying to, you know, not talk about it, not bring it up. But I was visibly upset.

many of the women asked me during the day if I was okay, what was going on. Yeah. So then, I mean, seeing Whitney make the comment after the dinner that it almost felt like convenient that you're bringing that up. It does, you know, it feels kind of like the worst, like the worst moment to say the the worst thing that it's like, obviously there was so much more. It felt very cruel to me that whole night did. To be totally honest, when I watched this episode, I was unbelievably shaking.

up and and I you know said to to my family about I go oh my god this is horrible and they're like what do you mean I go no no no no the audience will have no idea how bad this was but usually I will go back and rewatch I could not go back and rewatch I was very emotionally battered seeing it yeah it was a lot it was a lot yeah well I'm sorry that that was the experience you had obviously I mean, you're at the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs. It's like the happiest place you can imagine. And it's too bad that that wasn't kind of able to persist throughout the trip that energy. Yeah.

And you know, you'll see. There's more to the trip. Don't cut it off yet. And, you know, yeah. Yeah. And I think that, look, and when I said about the episode, it was a very personal, internal thing. Like, I think for everyone else watching, they won't see that at all.

I think everyone else will find the whole thing to be. very enjoyable. Yeah. You know. But I think it's, I think it's as somebody who's watched, you know, so many of these shows, it's sometimes interesting to have the episode itself, but then also a little bit more background on what was really happening. And I think, you know, that's a part of the story, whether or not it's obvious from the

episode to know that there was kind of more happening beneath the surface. I think it's definitely obvious that there's something else going on unless I am just a complete raving lunatic. Because otherwise, that's the only one. alternative. I seem like an insane person. I do. So on social media, I don't know how much you see of this, but people are like particularly obsessed with the way you say things sometimes. And in that dinner, we get perhaps a little bit of a British accent. Are you aware that this is happening? Like what? When it's happening? No. After the fact, yes. Usually that happens on my second class of one.

The British comes out. I don't know why. It's an odd thing. And if you notice, like, my accent and vocal patterns change all the time because I pick up stuff from whoever I speak to. So if I'm, like, on the phone with a friend in Texas, I might have a little bit of a Southern draw when I hang out. It's very odd.

A woman of mystery. You never know exactly what you're going to get. No, I don't either. Is that something? When you see, like, people on social media talking about that, is that something, like, it seems like you can kind of laugh at it and have a good time. Oh, it's so abnormal. Like, I don't think it's normal at all.

It's just, it's a part of who I am. I don't know why it happens, but it does. I don't know. I think part of it was I so badly didn't want to have a heavy Chicago accent. And so I think I started becoming more aware of, you know, things I would hear from other people. Well, and then you get, right, it's like you have the Utah, like Whitney's healing journey. and there's a lot of there's a lot of like vocal stuff

going on on your show. Girl, winter is so last season. And now Springs got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress.

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at ollie.com. That's O-L-L-L-Y. I want to talk about Monica, who's new this season, and going into the season, I wasn't necessarily expecting you and Monica to have much in common because she was, you know, Angie's friend being brought on to the show. But in Palm Springs, it really seemed like she kind of showed up for you a little bit. She seemed like the person who really was exhibiting the most empathy to what you were maybe going through. What was that like in the moment

or also maybe watching it back and seeing that she really was sticking up for you? So it was somewhat surprising. You know, I was a little bit confused by Monica. First of all, I was unsure whether she had come with Lisa or Angie to Heather's Snowball Fight party, whatever you want to call it. Crunch something. I don't know.

New beginnings, fresh stars. I don't know, snowball fights. Anyway, so I was not quite sure who she came with. And I never really asked because, I don't know. Right. It's like, we're all here. It's not that big of a deal. But I did think that the dynamic going on between Angie and Monica was strange.

I do ultimately ask Monica what that dynamic is because it seemed like, okay, you came here with Angie, but it doesn't seem like you guys are friends. So I, you know, so I guess we'll see how all that unfolds. Yeah, I mean, it is tricky. think that's something we see a lot on these shows where, you know, somebody has an existing relationship coming in and that doesn't necessarily hold up under the environment of the show, whether that's a deliberate decision or happens kind of naturally. But, yeah, I mean, it's a, it's an odd environment, I think, and that can really have, you know, different effects on friendships. Well, it's confusing, you know, because you don't know where someone stands. And

at some level it doesn't really matter all that much. Like my relationship with Monica isn't going to be defined by Angie and vice versa, you know. What does it feel like after so many times people wondering if you were an informant on Jen to have somebody on the show who on her first episode is like, yeah, I was a witness. You know, I found it to be actually completely comical just because it's like, I am accused of everything under the sun. left, right and center. And, you know, it's like sometimes I'm listening to the women and they're like, and you said and I heard that and whatever. And I'm like, okay, I'm sitting there listening.

I'm like, yeah, I know you made that up. Keep trying. Keep trying. It's like they throw stuff at you to see what you'll, what will stick, what you'll be like, oh, yeah, you're right or whatever. I don't know. And I feel like that's what happens with the audience too. You know, they just make wild accusations and you sort of learn to just say, I really don't

care what you think. I know my truth. I know I didn't call the FBI, you know. Well, I think you've, I mean, you've been on this ride for four years now and you sort of, you sort of have to let things roll off your back a little bit. Otherwise, it's like, you have a lot going on. I mean, you have your caviar on the table. You've got your, your jewelry, your podcast, your everything. You don't have time to be like, you know, agonizing over everything that somebody could possibly come up with to say about you. Well, that's the thing. I have, I have like, I've realized after the first couple of years, you can spend all of your time worrying about what they're saying and

fighting it and trying to tell your truth and this, that, and the other, or you can spend your time working on your businesses, working on your family, working on the relationships that you really care about and the people you care about and being productive and a good member of society. I choose the latter personally. Right. I mean, I think that's like we, as Housewives viewers, it's like you want people to be, you know, participating and active in the conversation. But also it's like if you get to, if all you're ever thinking about is, you know, what

somebody said about you on a Reddit thread or some Instagram comment, it's like you don't really live in the real world anymore. Correct. And they're not living in the real world. Like, you know, at the end of the day, they don't know me. Or, well, theoretically they don't. I don't really necessarily know who they are. So perhaps they do.

I don't know. Who's behind all those usernames? Angie Harrington, maybe. I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think that one's going to happen again. No. I think that's a one and done.

What did you think about the, obviously, some casting changes this season. we haven't seen Angie or Dana again, but Mary is back. You probably have the best relationship with Mary among the cast. Were you surprised that she was interested in coming back? Like, how was that for you as her friend? So, well, as her friend, it was great to have her back because I feel like she brings just some phenomenal humor and some good insight. And, you know, she gave me some advice at that.

that first lunch that we did not get to see. And who knows, maybe we will in a flashback, so I'm not going to say anything. But she did give me some excellent advice. So she's like, she's just a good force there. You know, she brings a lot of comedy. And I was just happy to have her back. Yes, I was surprised, but in some way I wasn't to, you know?

It was like. Yeah. I think Mary is somebody where watching the show, it's easy to kind of, maybe write her off as just somebody who's, you know, making shady comments or saying funny things. But there's like a nugget of truth there with her where it's like she sees something and she calls it like she sees it in a way that maybe other people would be a little more careful with what they say. 100%. And her advice, I mean, and we'll see what happens with it. We can talk in a few months if it doesn't flashback somewhere. But it honestly, it guided my entire personal journey for the winter. So that's a big deal.

Yeah. Thanks to Mary. I'm curious that we have only seen a few episodes of this season. There's a lot to come, I'm sure. What is your kind of outlook for the season? Do you feel like it's going to be tough to watch week to week? Or are you kind of like, I think we got it. I think it's a good one for me.

I was really surprised by my own emotional reaction to watching this episode. I'll be totally honest. I did not anticipate feeling all that emotion. when I, you know, sat down to watch it. I was like, oh, whatever, this will be entertaining. So I don't really know what to expect, you know. It's interesting because we all have been through a lot, you know, personally and together over these last several years.

And I think there's a lot more emotion behind each and every one of us, you know, behind all of these interactions, all of these things, then we've been kind of like led on to ourselves, you know? So I don't know. I think it will be a little bit more of a roller coaster than I was anticipating, but maybe not. Yeah. You know, the first couple episodes, I was laughing so hard in the first episode. I thought that was so funny.

Well, I've talked to a lot of people the last couple weeks. And I think everybody is just, it feels like a fresh dynamic this season. And like, you know, there was so much intensity the last couple of years. And obviously there still is, you know, stuff going on. It's not like, you know, all laughs all the time. but it feels like you guys found a good groove this season. Yeah, I mean, I think we're, I think we're getting back on track. You know, we were very broken as a group, to say the least.

And I think we've made some very positive steps. But it's not, you know, all steps forward. You've got to take a few steps back, too. So you'll see the roller coaster. We'll see it all. But Meredith, it's been so lovely to chat with you today. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, so much fun.

And everybody, go listen to Meredith and Seth's podcast. Hanging by a thread with Seth and Meredith Martin. I love it. Thank you, Meredith. Thank you, thank you. And thank you, everyone for listening. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow the show wherever you listen. You can follow us on Instagram at Bravo by Betches.

And until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mention It All is produced by Dylan Hafer, Sean Kilby, Jorge Morales Pico, and Rebecca Sous McCat. Editing by Jorge Morales Picoe. Social media by Dylan Hafer. Guest booking by Dylan Hafer and Ali Friedlander. Be sure to follow at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter.

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