Mention It All - The Housewives Learning Curve Ft. Erin Lichy

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

On today’s episode, Dylan is joined by Erin Lichy, who’s currently in her second season holding an apple on RHONY. They debrief on the roller coaster since Erin’s last time on the show, and how her second season compares to the first. She unpacks her feelings about some of the other ladies, and why communication seems to be an issue within the group. Later, she talks about the stresses of hosting the group at her home, and how the new women are gelling with the cast so far. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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But now we said it With me, Dylan Hafer We're going to check me both Hey everyone Welcome back to the Mention at All podcast I have really been enjoying this season of Real Housewives of New York so far And so it was only a matter of time

Before we got one of these ladies In here to talk about it And I am very glad to be joined today By Aaron Leachie Hi, hello How are you? I am good The last time you were here

was before your first season even premiered. It was you and Jessel and Brin. And I had seen a couple of episodes, but nobody else had seen anything. Wow. What has it been like the last year and change now that we're in the new season? It's crazy.

It feels like a lifetime ago. Yeah. Talking about that time. It's different now. It's just like you kind of know the ropes, you know, going into season. too, it felt way more natural. I think also we've seemed like more of a natural, cohesive group, I think.

Yeah. It's just, I don't know, it's like a different thing once you go through it. Yeah, I do feel like this season, I mean, obviously you guys have spent more time together. That's not, like, it makes sense. But it does feel like everybody has like settled a little bit into a rhythm of friendships, of creating this show. you know, there is kind of that learning curve, I think, that you have to sort of figure out how to navigate everything. No, it's so true. And I think like what people don't realize, a lot of the critics would be like, they're not real friends, you know, things like that. But it wasn't that. It was just like

our first time. Because we're season, we were season 14. People had it in the back of their minds that this was already like a show that existed, but we were all new. Yeah, we've never, I mean, other than new shows starting in season one, we've never had that situation where, it's six people for the first time of the show together. Usually it's like one new person who kind of has to fit in. And then that's like an interesting thing. But we were all figuring it out. We were all like learning the ropes.

So that took us a set. Was there, okay, so coming back for season 15, was that like a no-brainer for you after the first season experience? I think so. I mean, this season was fun. I think our first season, it was fun. And it wasn't, it didn't feel. so challenging. The biggest challenge I had was like figuring out time management. Like how do I

run my like career and also like on a TV show? So once you learn how to like be looser about your days and like fit things in the cracks, it then becomes easy. Yeah. But yeah, I mean like it wasn't like so off putting to me that I was like, I don't know if I could ever do this. We had a great time. Yeah. I feel like that's with season 14. It was like there was there was like fun and there was drama, but it wasn't, nobody's life got ruined. Right. Nobody was, you know, nobody's life was falling apart. Like, it felt like everybody could kind of come back and feel good about it.

I agree with that. Was there anyone that you were a little bit surprised or didn't, we're questioning whether they would be back? I mean, obviously everyone was questioning Jenna. Yeah. But I knew she was going to come back. I will say, I always thought she was going to come back. I mean, like one season on a show like this isn't like really impactful. I agree.

I think that's something that people don't necessarily think about that whatever intention you come on the show with, it's really hard to actually make something stick in 12, 14 episodes. Yeah. I mean, it's an ensemble cast. It's not like you're the only person who's getting the screen time. Like, whether it's a business that you want or whether it's getting people to know you in a different way, like I think staying for two or three seasons is kind of the minimum you can do and really feel like you kind of. accomplished that. I agree. I agree.

Because there's so many layers to like your personal life. Right. I mean, I feel like my personal life wasn't really on the first season at all. Yeah.

Yeah. I was thinking about that as I was like, as I was thinking about talking to you today, I felt like last season we, we got to know you like personality-wise, I feel like, but it wasn't necessarily like we were,

it wasn't like there was story line so much with what your personal. And everyone else had personal life in there. I was actually. annoyed. I was like, you filmed a lot with my family. What is going on? Yeah. But so this season, I mean, there are some major things going on. I mean, your mom we're seeing on the show going through treatment. It was really nice to see you with her watch what happens live for breast cancer month. That was really cool. Obviously, you and Abe are kind of navigating some stuff. What was it like kind of going into this season, having, you know, if you look at your life and it's like, okay,

So the cameras are coming. This is what's going on. We were coming out. Abe and I were coming out of that, like, relationship, you know, a little pitfall. But I will give him the credit because he actually said, you know, if you want to share this. So what happened was we had that first scene at where we're serendipity. And later that night, he was like, well, clearly you just went off on me for nothing. Like, you weren't actually mad about it.

And I was like, I know, but whatever. Like, this is what happened. and I'm in like I'm being natural. And he's like, well, if you want to open up about it, I'm okay with it. So he kind of gave me that, you know, leverage to feel free to like explain why that happened. Yeah. Which I actually thought was really big of him and kind of was like, okay, this is your penance. You know?

Like I'm going to talk about this on TV. But we also, we talked about it obviously in length, like privately. And it's normal. Like relationships aren't perfect. Like I don't want to live a fake life on TV with my husband and like, oh, everything's perfect and our kids and our, like, no, we have real things that come up like any other marriage. And I feel like especially being in, it's a unique situation that you're doing a show like this while you're navigating, you know, your other stuff. Like setting kind of those boundaries of like, okay, yeah, like if this comes up where we should talk about it. And that way it's like you're kind of like making sure that things don't kind of spiral in a way that you weren't expecting.

Right. Like just like reactions come out of, right. And they come out of nowhere and you're like, why are you acting like that? And then it's a fight or whatever it is. Yeah. I think Abe and I also are very comfortable with our relationship. So like it's okay for us to not be perfect that we don't have to continue an air of perfection because we know that we're good. So like.

Yeah. And also I feel like we have a responsibility to not be perfect. in a relationship and not pretend to be a certain way if we're not. You know what I mean? Like, if these are real issues that we're going through and I'm on a show about my real life, like the only fair thing to do is to kind of express that. Yeah. And I feel like on, I mean, in Housewives history, it's like some of the couples that

come across like the sunshiniest are not necessarily the ones that are going to make it forever. And I don't think anybody on your cast really is like, it doesn't feel like we're getting any like relationship facades, I don't think, on your cast. So that's... Yeah, I don't think so. People are just the way they are. Like, you know.

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you mentioned Jenna, like you felt like she was going to come back, but we are not seeing cast this season. What was it like kind of filming the season, knowing that maybe different people are approaching it different ways and sharing different things in their life? So it's less frustrating in regard to the cast members as it is like just overall the show and like what I feel like personally is I'm responsible to do is to open up that part of my life but like not everybody does that. So it's like kind of like everybody gets to pick and choose I guess. Yeah. That's not, you know what I mean? The way I looked at it. But I think ultimately it's not even Jenna's decision, right? It's Cass is. So if Cass decides that she doesn't want to be on, you know,

which I respect. It's just a different thing for her. And same with Oliver. You know, he doesn't have to be on the show. He doesn't sign up for it. We all did. So Abe happened to just feel really open about it and okay with it. But I do wish, like, you could see all the different parts of everyone's life.

Well, speaking of you kind of, like, putting it out there, you have hosted this cast, this group of women, both seasons at your house in the Hampton. I sure have. They're not an easy group. No. Were you like immediately on board to have them back this season? Because I do feel like that's a big, you're like allowing, you know, the whole crew and everybody's coming. Yeah. You're opening up your space in a way that is pretty vulnerable, actually, I think.

Yeah. I mean, it's a lot. I made sure to have so much food that there was, no, like the, I wish they would pan to the fridge because it was packed with like snacks at every kind of water and juice. I need to have a full menu at her. disposal. I made sure we had everything. So that was ticked off the list, which was nice. You know, I just felt like we were, we had talked about maybe splitting up and some people going to another house because it was more people, obviously. But I don't know. Like, I love hosting my girlfriends. I've done it my whole life. And it's kind of fun to have everybody

under the same roof, like waking up together. So I don't know. I didn't mind. It felt like people, at least from the beginning of the trip that we've seen so far, it felt like people were a little more like down to to go with it this year. Like, you know, people sharing rooms and Jenna wasn't leaving in the middle of the night. People were more down.

Everyone's more comfortable. Yeah, I guess you guys are just closer and have more kind of shared bonds that it's like, okay, yeah, we're like sleeping at Aaron's house. Yeah, 100%. And I think now I know what they all like and dislike.

So, like, I made sure the rooms were hot. Like, there was heat up there, like plastic. You know, there was a lot of food. You know, there was, enough alcohol that everybody likes. So it's just like, I knew going into it what to do. Yeah. So Raquel and Rebecca are new to the group this season.

It's been interesting kind of getting our first little glimpses of what they're bringing to the table. I'm curious for you being in the group, we talked about everyone from last season kind of solidifying dynamics. Having new cast members, new women in the circle, what was that like? sort of opened up. It felt very normal. You know, they kind of just fit right in, to be honest.

Yeah. You know? Raquel is, she seems like a very interesting person. And I mean that in a good way. Yeah, no, we got very close. Really unique. Yeah. She's just like, I don't know, for me at least, like I just feel comfortable around her.

Like I can tell her things and bounce ideas off of her and confide in her and I know it's not going anywhere. Okay. Which is rare. You don't always get that with someone. It's rare in life, and I think it's even rare in this. It's really rare in this world. Yeah. And it helps that Abe and Mel immediately became very close, which you'll see this season.

Yeah. Like bonded, like talk a lot without us, hang out without us. Like they're actually legit close. So it's nice to have like a new couple front. You don't get that that often at this age, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So it's good.

And I feel like especially when you're meeting someone for the first time, like sometimes you can get to know somebody really well. and their partner is like, oh, yeah, I feel like I hear about her sometimes, but like, I don't know. Yeah, I know. It can take a long time to really like. It can take a while for the other side to click. Yeah, like become a unit kind of. Yeah. It's tricky.

It was easy with us for, so that's nice. What about Becky? Becky's great. She's just nice. I'm trying to wrap my mind around Becky Minkoff. Like that is tricky for me. That's what I call her now. It's so funny.

She's great. She's just a nice, sweet girl. You know, she doesn't really get in. to the crosshairs often. So that's good. I thought it was really interesting the layers to how everyone got out to the Hamptons because we had a few people in a helicopter. I was like, what is going on here?

There was supposed to be one car. Multiple. There were like three cars. So, okay. So Raquel, I feel like her first little like dust up a little bit was I feel like she kind of got tripped up with. Hoover just apologized to me for that. She did.

She did. So Raquel. She saw the episode and she was like, oh, you actually were telling the truth. I was like, stop thinking I'm a pigeon. I think this was a situation where I think Raquel was not realizing how closely her words were going to be scrutinized in this. Probably. In this sphere that it was like, oh, yeah, I just wanted to drive. Yeah.

But then it's like. But when I read the text, I was confused too. Yes. I was like, it seems like you were just going to take your own car. Like I got what I was saying. Right. Right. You know what you mean?

Right. Right. Like, Sai was like, I didn't even know. was supposed to offer something. Like, why am I going to, she was like, I just got this car. Yeah. Study and play. Come together on a Windows 11 PC.

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like sort of webs of maybe miscommunications, game of telephone a little bit. There's this thing with you and Jenna with the Uber and somebody not having money and whatever. There's like sigh maybe saying that she hates Jenna and then how that's kind of getting spun. and there's this car thing. Like, how do you think this group specifically, like,

maybe has issues with communicating and things kind of getting twisted a little bit? I think that there are times where people in this group will misconstrue things to their benefit. And that sometimes takes people a while to uncover. That's exactly what happened with the Uber thing. I told the story to 15 people. I thought it was a funny story.

Like, I like to tell stories and that was like the hook. It was like, and then, of course, I get stuck with her $200 Uber or whatever. And it was just like funny. I didn't care about the Uber. It was just ironic that I brought her to this lunch. Her car broke down. And then I'm stuck like getting her home. You know, it was just funny.

But that turned into something so negative and like salacious and like dark, really that I'm saying she's got money. I mean, Jenna has money problems. She can't pay for Uber. Like, please. So sometimes that will happen in our group. And I think that's kind of how Saia was feeling about, I hate you, because it may have been like, I don't, we all knew that Si didn't like Jenna. Yeah.

It was clear. I had to laugh a little bit at the clarification of it. It's like, well, everybody knows I don't like her, but like, I didn't say I hated her. Right, right. It's like, I think it was less about the wording, but more about, we were going to her house to like have a fun night and like the Uber story got dropped and I hate Jenna right before we arrived. So it was just like why? Like why did you do that? Like what were you trying to accomplish by telling her like these horrible things that we had

I didn't do? But like that that side didn't really say. I don't even know what was said what wasn't. It was more about the intention, I think. Yeah. I feel like watching the show and you know these last couple episodes. It seems like Brin sometimes has a little bit of an issue with like starting a mess and then not wanting to deal with the... You didn't say it. I mean, I didn't say it. And listen, Bryn's great. She really is. But sometimes I think she hears things differently. And that's why I said in one of the episodes, I don't know when, but I said, like, why don't we just all accept the fact that she just changed stories around and that's just what she does and like, we'll move on from it. Like, If we can all just understand that, then we can just make it a joke and be, it'll be fine.

Yeah. You know? And I think there are certain times where it's like there are things that are worth really getting upset about and really getting to the bottom of. Right. And there are sometimes where it's like, this is dumb. I didn't say that. 100%.

100. And the reason why the Uber story was something I wanted to get to the bottom to was because Jenna was upset. Mm-hmm. You know, if she, which I thought she would have just not believed it, but she did. Yeah. And I was like, really? Like, oh, now I'm pissed.

You know, if you really believe this, then we need to get to the bottom of it. I also feel like you were kind of proven right with the Jeff Lewis footage because I'm like, you never really said anything. Like, I'm on live radio for the first time ever, literally. And there's like this weird dynamic where you don't want to be rude, you know. I didn't want to be rude to Jeff. Like, you know, he was bringing up. I ultimately said no. I don't think so.

But I still went there, like not on camera. And I was there for her because I never wanted. to hurt someone. I never want my friend to be upset. And I get it. Like, the implication is to her who has worked so hard to be what she is. Like, I get that. And I would never want to, like, encourage that. Which she just wish I would have, like, stopped it earlier. Fine. Now I know. You know what I mean? Like, all good. But it just went on for so long. Sometimes there's the idea of, like, oh, well, if you were in the room when a conversation was happening, you're, like, guilty by association. It's like, that's tough. That was me. That was.

It's tough. I mean, it's like it's reality TV. People want to have fun with it. People want to be shady. I mean, Jeff Lewis is like a, he's shady. Like he's fine. I love him though. I really do. I haven't gone back on because I've been so afraid since that. I think Jeff Lewis is currently causing drama on like three different housewives. I just keep hearing his name. It's so funny. He just needs to be a housewife. Good for him. I heard he got a show though on on Bravo. Oh yeah. He's always doing something. I love that. He's he honestly, I think ultimately he really is such a good guy. Yeah. Okay. Before we wrap up, we are just a few episodes into this season. We have a long way to go. How are you feeling maybe compared to this point last season about like what's ahead watching it, everybody else watching it? I think I'm way more apprehensive this season just because I know what a roller coaster it was. This season is very intense. Like there are moments where it's, It's hysterical and so much fun.

But there are some intense, dramatic moments. And I'm a little, like, nervous for what that's going to be like for the group watching it back. Because now, obviously, I know from first season that watching it back is part of, it's like you're going through it all over again. Yeah. There's like three cycles of this thing. And I'm nervous for what's going to happen to the dynamic and just to everybody personally just going back to that place. So like between where you are right now and when you go to film reunion in like a couple months probably, you feel like there could be some changes. I do.

Yeah. I do. It's like exciting but scary. It's exciting but scary. It's exactly what it is. I mean, like I like to focus on the exciting fun things. Like this next episode that comes out, I play a prank and I can't wait for people to see it. I played another prank.

Like I won't give that up. But I'm like that I'm excited for. Right. Yeah, I mean, I think that's like the best seasons have kind of that mixture of a little bit of every ingredient. The ebbs and flows. So going back to last time you were here before the show had even premiered, what is like one thing that you wish you knew before that? I wish I knew to stay out of the comments. Even though I heard that, I still didn't do it.

I think everyone has to be real about this. Like anyone who's going on to reality TV, TV, you will read the comments. Like that's a bullshit that people are like, oh, I never get it. Like, you will. But you learn how to stop. And now, like, I just don't care. I don't even look anywhere. So it's just like I'll hear things.

And you just know kind of like when there's a shift or when there's a change or when there's, you know, like the same way you're following the storyline. It's just like natural. Yeah. You don't have to get into like the mean, nitty, gritty, terrible comments that like ruin your life for the. Right. There's a difference between like having, you know, a finger on the pulse a little bit. and reading every single thing that everybody is going to say about you on Twitter. Yeah.

And, like, some of those things are just so toxic. Yeah. And I think there's, like, there's, like, a sliding scale a little bit where it's like, okay, like, maybe sometimes I'm going to read zero comments and maybe sometimes I'm going to, like, give myself a little scroll. Exactly. You have to kind of, you have to, like, really check in with yourself. You have to check in with yourself.

Yeah. And it's, you're right. Like, sometimes you will give it a scroll and that's okay. But it's, like, getting into that. And also just taking it to heart. I think it starts to feel different. You know, like this time I'm not as like, oh, my God, everyone hates me. Or like, oh, people love me.

Like, it's not those highs and lows. It's just like more baseline. Like, I know who I am and I'll be okay. Right. And it's like things about you, like your self as a person, things about your relationship, things about, you know, some of your choices. Like, if you're secure enough in those things, then like somebody being like, her husband seems like he doesn't like her.

It's like, okay, well. Yeah. Oh my God. Abe's like, Abe is going through it. I think more. You know what I mean? He's like, I can't believe I said that. The headlines are so crazy. Like, I can't believe I opened this up about myself. I'm like, don't, you're going to pay attention to that now. Yeah. And then he gets over it. But sometimes it can be hard, you know, to just. Yeah. Okay. And then what's one thing that has surprised you the most in the last like year plus of doing this? That I have a good intuition, I think. Like I knew I did. But I, but I, but.

seeing how everything has played out over the past couple of years and what I initially came in feeling and seeing the development. I'm like, wow, I actually, like, my gut was telling me the right things and, like, I should follow my intuition. And that was kind of a pleasant surprise. It's better than the opposite. If you were like, I was wrong about everything. Like, I was like, okay, this is good.

Like, I'll just follow what I really feel. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Well, I'm excited to see the rest of the season. It's good. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Good to see you. Good to see you too. Thanks everyone for listening.

Don't forget to rate, review, and follow the show wherever you listen. And until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mention It All Podcast is produced by Dylan Hafer and Bell Roman. Editing by Bell Roman, social media by Dylan Hafer and Candice Maniga, guest booking by Ali Friedlander. VP of Podcast is Chris Allen. And be sure to follow Bravo by Betches. with San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars. Catch the Jonas Brothers return to the Yamava Theater stage on April 30th. The powerful vocals of Demi Lovato on May 17th and the signature Southern Country Rock of Eric Church on July 19th.

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