Mention It All - The Valley Is Just Getting Started Ft. Jesse Lally

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

On today’s episode, Dylan sits down with Jesse Lally, one of the stars of Bravo’s breakout hit The Valley. They have lots to discuss, starting with how Jesse got involved in the world of reality TV in the first place. He chats about his experience filming the season and then gets real about navigating the last stages of his marriage in front of the cameras. He shares updates on where he and Michelle are at these days and what their dynamic might look like in season 2. He also weighs in on Kristen’s behavior during the season and how the rest of the cast stepped up their game once the cameras were up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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See Home Depot.com slash price match for details. Betches Media presents. Ha ha, laugh, funny. Mention It All, a Bravo by Betches podcast. We don't say that, but now we said it. With me, Dylan Hafer. We're going to check me, though. Hey, everyone.

Welcome back to the Mention at All podcast. I'm Dylan Hafer. I am very excited to be here today with the first person I've gotten to talk to from, I think, the hottest new show on Bravo, The Valley. Please welcome Jesse Lally. How's it going? It's going amazing. Hi, everybody.

Jesse Lally here. Do you know that this is my first. ever podcast. Wow. Congratulations. That's why what am I supposed to do with the mic? You're doing great. You just talk. You know, it'll be easy. Can I get up and dance around with it and sing or no? You don't want to hear me sing anyway. The people listening will be very confused about what's happening with the audio. I think if you start dancing. Yeah, they'd be like, why are there dying cats in the room and that's my voice? Well, it's your first podcast. It's also your first season on a Bravo show. We're saying.

seven episodes in now. How are we feeling about the Valley? You know, it's it's a fun experience. I'm just super grateful. You know, this came up to me. Jackson, Ryan, his manager, who's also produced around the show, reached out to me, God, maybe two and a half years ago now and asked if I wanted to be involved. So I give them a lot of credit for, you know, putting this all together and seeing it come to fruition and now seeing the reaction. And, you know, it's been. it's been a lot of fun. So you filmed the show last summer, right? Correct.

Yeah. So being on a first season of a show, you haven't been in the public eye before. You film it. Nobody's like, nobody's checking for you on social media. You know, nobody's like paying attention to what's happening in your life. You go away for, I don't know, six, seven, eight months. And then all of a sudden you're on TV. People are watching.

People have opinions. What has that experience been like for you for this first season? Well, I mean, let's be honest, the only one that gets recognized is Isabella, which is kind of fun. You know, it's like this little four-year-old girl is getting recognized at the Grove in L.A. It's amazing. For me, you know, I made a decision early on that that Thursday premiere for like family friends and press. The last day I was going to read comments was Wednesday. So I read all, you know, I read all the articles and stuff like that that come out. But I made a very clear decision that, you know, just watched the show. say what you want to say. And I just wanted to be in the moment with the whole thing, the whole experience. That's so interesting because I feel like depending on the person, some people read absolutely everything. Yeah. They're like scrolling. They're searching for them.

You know, and some people obviously like you, it sounds like have taken a little bit more of a step back. Well, I mean, it didn't start off so well because I didn't realize that when I posted, I had the notification set up for, like on Instagram for like a notification that I had a new message. So I think it's a text message. And I'm look and I'm like, die. I'm like, oh, well, that's not very nice. Yeah, that's tough. But, you know, I read every single message that's sent to me, every single DM.

Okay. And I love to respond to the people who ask who are going through similar marriage situations that Michelle and I are going through and have gone through. and it's amazing that people from all over the country, women and men are reaching out. Like, what do you have advice? Here's the situation I'm in. And then other people reach out a lot about real estate questions. I'm getting my license.

How do you become successful? And I just like, I love giving, you know, advice. So that stuff is amazing. The dichotomy of answering questions about marriage issues and then answering questions about real estate licenses. I don't necessarily always answer the questions like, Will you pour hot wax on my back if you don't pour it on Michelle's anymore? Those ones I kind of let sort of drift away.

But yeah, all the other ones are nice to hear. Yeah. And I love the stuff about Isabella when they, you know, say how great and how cute she is. It's nice to hear that. Well, I feel like that's the, that's one of the kind of like silver linings of, you know, putting your life out there is like you might get some negativity. You might get some, you know, some trolls or whatever. But then you also get people who are just like happy to be on the ride with you.

look, you don't even have to put yourself out there. That's just how the world is. You're going to get people that don't like you, people that, you know, don't know you, don't understand you, and they don't like you because they haven't gotten to that point yet. So it's just, you know, everything we did was about as real and as authentic as we could be, especially Michelle and I, you know, we were, we're a smaller little microcosm because we only knew what we shot and we knew what we shot with other people, but we didn't know what other people were going through. And me and Michelle were just like, we didn't know we could say no to anything.

We didn't want to say no to anything. So we were just as real, I mean, it was our real, authentic life. I don't think anybody watching the show would accuse you of not, of not sharing. What, so what was the experience like of, of being there with the cameras? Obviously, when the season picks up, you guys are in somewhat of a tough spot in your marriage. And then that kind of develops over the course of the season and we'll see, you know, where things end up. But like, what was that like, kind of on a day-to-day basis being like, whatever's happening? These cameras are going to show up and we're just going to rock with it. You know, I've done some real estate YouTube stuff and I have, I'm completely comfortable with cameras around me. I was so proud at how Michelle came out of her

shell. You know, it was a very quick adjustment period for her. And, you know, it was a very quick adjustment period for her. And, you know, we just, we had a box that we wanted to stay in originally when we were discussing it and, you know, luxury real estate and travel and stuff like that. And then that box just got completely blown up within, you know, two days. But, I mean, I give her a lot of credit because it's not a world that she's been around. And, you know, she sort of blossomed a little bit. I've talked to a lot of people about when this show was first announced, when we first got you know, a little bit of a teaser. A lot of people were like, is this, is this something we need? Like, who are all these people? Like, you know, obviously we know Kristen and Jackson,

Brittany from Vanderpump Rules for so many years, but like bringing on a new, a new set of people, a new, you know, relationship dynamics that we're not aware of. Like, it's not a sure thing. And I think people week to week have really been loving the show and just like, you know, it's a very exciting watch, I think, episode to episode. And like, I, you know, I knew. I knew. because people would ask me what the show's about friends, family, you know, anybody who really knew that it was coming out. And I said the best way to describe it was, you know, you have Vanderpump and that's a very clear, you know, type of like world, you know, young, young friends living together, working together and the dynamic. And then you have, you know, real housewives. And it's, you know,

super successful, maybe retired, maybe not retired, family, older kids and stuff like that. But the world of reality TV was sort of missing that in-between stage where it was like, you know, not, you're still fighting for your business. Do you're still fighting for your relationships? You're still learning. I mean, I think before Isabella, I had held maybe like one baby and I was like, what do I do with this thing? You know what I mean? So all those sort of struggles and challenges and fun and excitement, you know, it's all stuff that everyone is going through. Yeah. I think there is maybe a misconception that it's like when people on a show like Vanderpumpurals or whatever, like grow up quote, I'm using big air quotes.

It's like you get married, you have kids and then suddenly you're like stop being interesting. Right. And that it's like, no, like there are so many different dynamics happening. Even like you were saying the holding a baby thing on this week's episode, like when. Oh, no, that's, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like, I don't know what to do. Right.

I felt the exact same way when I had Isabella. And, you know, I remember Michelle's like, once the baby comes, you can't be drinking. And I'm like, okay, fine. and then the baby came and all it does is sleep and it fits in my arm like a football. I'm like, this is just so, so easy. It's like the easiest thing ever until it's not easy. Until you're like, where's the baby? Oh, she learned to walk and she went upstairs and I think she's putting makeup on and you're like, oh.

So. And then you have like 18, 18 years to. Yeah. And I'll tell you what. It's God's way of getting me back because Isabella is so gorgeous. I have a long road ahead of me. So, you know, I just have to be the best representation of a man for her, which we still have five episodes left. So, you know, hopefully you'll see, you know, a evolution.

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It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Has it been watching the show back with everything that happened with you personally, are there moments where you are kind of like, oh, I wish I had handled that differently, or I would have said something else? Or do you have that kind of like, you know, mirror reaction? or are you kind of just like it is what it is? You know, as I step back and sort of see,

see it, you know, play out in front of me and see other people's reactions, I was going through an incredible amount of pain. I had an incredible amount of anger. I was like, you know, I don't regret anything, but there were times where I let that pain overwhelm my logic. And I find myself to be a fairly logical person. And I'm certainly emotional.

I think it's my background, but I'm more logical than anything. And when I watch it back, I'm like, God, I just let the pain sort of overwhelm me in that moment. Yeah. I mean, it's a being on a show like this where these moments are happening and then being rebroadcast, it's like usually you get to kind of like have, you know, a little snapshot memory of how things went. But now it's like, okay, like, yeah, everything I said was is right there.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, and it's, you know, especially some of the situations that may have come across that I handled it poorly. You know, I grew up in Boston and I will take a bullet for my family and for the friends that I love and the friends that love me back. And I just don't like to see people, especially at our age, getting involved in things that they don't necessarily need to and not even truthfully getting involved in some of these things. Yeah. It felt like that definitely sort of came to a head at the Jackson's like hair loss dinner. Yeah, yeah.

Like what we would call it. Yeah. Can you walk me through sort of like how that event unfolded from your perspective being there? Because it was pretty chaotic to watch in a way that was exciting, but also like, wait, sorry, what's happening now? Yeah. You know, I said it in the episode. I started off the day not feeling well, like physically not feeling well. And then I had a coaching session with Scott, and it was the first time that I said that, you know, I was having a realization that my marriage could be over.

And I was just very quiet. And I just didn't want to be the, you know, I don't always have to be the center of attention. And, you know, it was just a bad night for me. And then walking, I mean, hand to God, I was going to the bathroom when I left. And I heard Kristen say what she said. and it was such a trigger after my conversation went Scott. And it just, then all of a sudden the adrenaline started pumping. I mean, I was, I literally left and went downstairs.

I was taking my mic off. And one of the, one of the producers said, I think he heard something in his ear. And he said that I had, I had like run into Brittany on the way down the hallway. I put my mic back on and went straight upstairs into the room and apologized. And that's how I ended up back in the room, was to apologize to Brittany. because there was just so much adrenaline. I didn't remember any of that. Literally called and asked producers like a couple of days later to walk me through how it all went down.

And then seeing it, I'm like, oh boy, I was like, like, really like a linebacker going out of the hallway. Well, yeah, when you're in the hallway, it's like there were a lot of people in a very small amount of space. So it was even like trying to pick out, it's like, okay, like who's, who's like going toward who like it's a lot happens. Yeah, it was, it was definitely. interesting. But I mean, you know, it was just, there was a lot of collateral damage and I apologized for that. Can you talk to me a little bit about how your relationship or lack thereof with Kristen over the course of this season? Because I think, you know, I don't know how much you've watched of Vanderpump rules. But, you know, Kristen has history.

You know, we've seen her for a long time. And some of the way she handles things is not always maybe the most delicate or graceful. I mean, look, at the end of the day, Kristen like Jacks, I mean, they're pros. They know exactly what they're doing. They've been in this world long enough. Contrary to what Kristen might say or whatever, I've known her a very long time. I mean, I used to hang out with Jacks when he first started at Sir. So I've known her a very long time.

And I just, I don't know why. And I said it a couple times during the show. And I think they played it finally when the hallway scene happened, the incident, where I felt she was trying to make her. she was irrelevant and trying to make herself relevant by using my family and that just doesn't it just doesn't work with me like I said before like why attack my family when we've been friends for salon christmas was one of two of the girls that were at our baby shower with brittany so it's like where is this all coming from and yeah i watched all of vanderpump rules i mean i wanted to know

how this guy that was sleeping on my couch in new york in the early 2000s was a celebrity now so I watched every episode. Do you feel like, so you're saying, you know, obviously that they have been around their pros in this game. When you guys were filming as a group, was there any feeling like it was like their show, quote unquote? Because I know that's something that, you know, Jack's in, I think his final episode of Vanderpump Rules maybe said.

And I mean, when you get this like this new show with these existing cast members, I feel like it can be sometimes there's a vibe of like, okay, like they're the, you know, the main characters and we're here, but like watching the show, it doesn't feel like that. Yeah. Yeah, you know, uh, Jackson and Brittany did something very smart, got us all together at the beginning of the summer and sort of a Q&A of like what to expect. And, you know, I know, I know Jacks has a lot involved in this show. Like I said, he came to me two years ago, whatever. But I think even Jacks had the realization when we were, when we were, you know, the cameras were, were down that he, you know, he had more players than he thought he was going to have.

You know, and it's sort of, we've been friends for so long. We've all had, you know, relationships in the group and we're all older that he just sort of like lit the spark and saw what, you know, what happened. Feels like everybody's getting their hands wet, you know. I mean, like that. Zach's in there. Jasmine's got some, some info. Janet wants the tea.

I saw, I saw Zach at Jack's bar the night of the gala. Uh-huh. the night of the gala episode. And I turned to him and I was like, nightclub in Miami in the 80s doing a line of cocaine. I was like, funniest line I've ever heard. And he was like, I didn't know how you were going to take it. I was like, that's the exact idea I had when I designed the jacket.

That's, yeah. Yeah, everybody has their part, you know, everybody's going through. And so much has happened since cameras were put down that, like, I feel like, you know, the last six or eight months, we could have another 100 episodes, you know, with everything that's been going on. Like the soap opera could just keep, you know. It's like, you know, Michelle and I and Jackson, Brittany and Jason, Janet with the baby. And yeah, it's just, it's been a lot, you know.

And it's nice that we've all been kind of there for each other. Brittany and Michelle spending a lot of time together. And yeah, it's nice to see that we're all still sort of a group. Yeah. Good sleep is everything. That's why Ali's science back support is made with a blend of melatonin and L-thianine for both kiddos and grown-ups.

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for you and Michelle? Because obviously, you know, you end where you end with the filming and then, you know, we know now that you guys have separated, but like what's kind of how has that been navigating that? Obviously, you have your daughter together. You know, it's very difficult. I think it's very difficult for anybody when, you know, especially for myself. So we literally a month after we stopped filming, we had our five-year wedding anniversary. We went to Montecito with Isabella and had an amazing weekend. And then two days later, we had the separation conversation.

and I was continuing to fight and I was continuing to work with Scott and I of course didn't want it to end. And like I said, it's not in my vocabulary. And I was trying to fight to keep the family together. I thought it was important for Isabella to keep, you know, a full family. So it was a long battle, as I think it is with a lot of people. The one thing we agreed on was Isabella. And, you know, immediately when it came to custody, we were like two days on, two days. off. That's the one thing that that was never an issue. And, you know, it, it was difficult because

we had this situation with the show. And, I mean, I didn't tell, I didn't tell Jackson till New Year's Day. So there was all that time. And then Michelle moved out in early February. And once we had that space and that sort of, you know, time and distance, things have gotten a lot better. That's, I think that's great. I mean, obviously, like, for your daughter, I feel like that's kind of number one, you know, for anybody in this situation to figure that out. But then, like, we've seen, I mean, just even on other Bravo shows, some of these, like, really, really acrimonious situations and that it's like you can, you know, it might not all be like sunshine and roses when you're having these conversations, but like to try and navigate it in a way that isn't so destructive maybe. Yeah. And I think, I mean, let's hope season two. You know, it's, there's going to be a, there's going to be a point from our separation to when cameras get back up that we don't need to see everybody destroying everybody when it comes to separation on, on a show. It might be nice to see how people handle co-parenting together. And, you know, a perfect example of that is I had Isabella on her actual birthday last Monday, April 15th. It was my day with her. I was planning a big party and had a bunch of friends over and Jason was the first time I met the baby.

and had a bunch of friends over, and I invited Michelle and her new boyfriend because at the end of the day, you can put your, like I said, put your pain and your anger aside for the health and well-being of Isabella. And she was super excited to take a picture with, you know, her mother and her father, not just one in that, you know what I mean? And it was nice to have that. It was a fun night for her. I think that's really cool. And I mean, you were saying before about following these dynamics of people that are at this point in life. And, you know, one of those dynamics that is relatable to a lot of people is what happens when a relationship ends or, you know, isn't, you know, what it was before. And then you have to figure out kind of what life looks like after that. I mean, you know, it'll, I think it'll be

nice for people. We all know divorce is, is traumatic and destructive. And, you know, it's sad, obviously. And I think it'll be nice for people to see what it could be like, you know, or what it can be like eventually. And I think I think it's an important, again, like I said about the show, it filled a sort of a missing void for, you know, like some 40-year-olds might not want to watch chaos, but they might not want to watch something else. And it's like very relatable. Yeah. Do you get the sense, you know, if we're thinking season two and whatever's happening, with everyone. Like, do you think that Brittany and Jax will be able to navigate that maybe as smoothly?

Well, you know, right now they're doing an amazing job. Okay. Because I'll tell you, at the beginning of my separation, it was very hard for us to be in the same space together. And there, you know, I was at Cruz's birthday party and I was the first one there and they were together in the room, you know, just the two of them. It's nice to see that. I had conversations with Jacks multiple times offering like whatever I can do, like learn from.

As you'll see as the season progresses, there's a lot more conversations where I start to have this realization and I'm like, learn from my mistakes, learn from my mistakes. And I was so, you know, I was almost at that point where Michelle and I were getting amicable and then this happened with him. So I just offered him, you know, whatever I could do and just like, you know, just trust me. You do not want it to be destructive, you know. I think one of the tough things when people are dealing with relationship, you know, obstacles or whatever on a show like this is then the outside forces or people or rumors or

whatever that's kind of like, you know, trying to like inch its way in and in that situation. Do you feel like what transpired with you and Michelle kind of like ran its course? outside of, you know, Kristen or whoever kind of trying to like maybe get involved a little bit? No, I mean, I think all of those outside forces can get in your head a little bit. Like I said, Michelle and I, and especially me as we got towards September and October, we're still trying very hard. And I think you'll see as we come to the end of this season, you can see how hard I was trying. And I don't pay attention to the outside stuff because I can feel the energy in the house.

what I mean. And things were just different. And there's no one to blame but ourselves, really. Yeah. Do you think anybody's going to successfully ice Kristen out of this group? Some people are trying. Well, I'll tell you what. I've done my best. So let's see. Let's see if we can pass it on. I'm like, I don't think Chris is going that easily. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Maybe we'll sick Jason on her and he can throw some legal documents at her. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe she'll move to Colorado. Yeah. God willing. You, you said it.

No, it's, you know, it's, there's still, I mean, we're, we're, what, a day from episode seven, we have five left. Yeah. And, I mean, look, we were originally supposed to do eight episodes and now we have 12. So they definitely had enough to, uh, to keep the fireworks going. Yeah, maybe season two, a hundred more. Yeah, so season two order is 39 episodes. Careful what you wish for. You're going to be like another dinner. I just want to go to Capri this year.

Can we just work around that schedule? We got to get like a cool trip for season two, I think, for you guys. Listen, I tried. I tried last year. But we'll have a big dinner in Capri. I'm sure it'll go fine. Okay. Sounds good.

Well, I think it's safe to say the Valley is, you know, a little bit of a hit. people are into it i'm i'm so excited like the positivity you know like i said isabelle has been recognized but but people have come up to me outside and you know from orange county to la to you know even i took isabelle the morning of her birthday to universal studios and the some of the staff came up to us and everybody's so positive about it yeah and you know the amount of people from my hometown that have reached out to me and and like i love the show like and then now i'm getting all the team jessey stuff and you know it's so fun it's like so exciting to like watch it all like unfold.

It's super exciting. Can you get Team Jesse merch. I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful for everybody for the support and stuff like that's great. That's awesome. Well, congrats on the show. I mean, best of luck with everything, you know. It's a long journey and hopefully we'll see some more of it.

Yeah, maybe next season it can be me versus Jacks instead of me versus Luke. You know what I mean? You never know. But I congrats. First podcast appearance. First podcast, finished. How did I do? Did great.

Do you have any drinks? We can't if you want to. I don't know. What time is it? Well, thanks so much, Jesse. Yeah, thank you. Nice to meet you. Everybody watch. Keep watching the Valley. Tuesday nights on Bravo. Streaming on Peacock.

Streaming on Peacock. Thanks everyone for listening. Until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mentioned It All is produced by Dylan Hafer, Sean Kilby, Jorge Morales Pico, and Rebecca Sous McCatt. Editing by Jorge Morales Pico. Social media by Dylan Hafer.

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