Mention It All - The Velocity Of Lies (RHOP)

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

Bari and Dylan are back after a weekend of Italian food and binging old episodes of Dance Moms. They dive deep on this week’s episode of Potomac, giving a rundown of each woman’s response to the altercation. Robyn and Wendy came with facts, Gizelle pulled some stunts, and Karen and Ashley are sitting comfortably on the fence. Meanwhile, neither Candiace nor Monique is interested in taking the blame. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice. Off campus, L, every year after, the love hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more. Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen.

Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. Betcha's Media presents. Ha ha, laugh, funny. Mention It All, a Bravo by Betch's podcast. We don't say that, but now we said it. With Dylan Hafer. Who don't check me, boo?

And Barry Rosenfeld. I need to start drinking alcohol. Now go to sleep, we. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Mentioned All podcast. I'm Dylan Hafer. And I'm Barry Rosenfeld. Happy Monday, Barry.

Happy Monday. It's going. Like, I was just telling our producer, Mike, that like you have to wake up with a good attitude. I know that's hard for most of us, but just got to like, I woke up, I showered.

I was like, you know what? Let me just like start doing everything I need to do. Like greet everyone with a happy message because they can't see me. And so I feel like if everyone does that every day, like your week can be like grand. I need some of whatever you're having.

I, you know, But I'm like this all the time. Even in the, I'm always like, woo, woo, woo, even though it's so funny because I'm such like a bitch sometimes. So it's like...

You are a morning person though. Like more than... I was never like... More than some other people. Yes. I, I woke up this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. So I watched an episode before work of my new rediscovered obsession,

dance moms, which I don't know what came over me, but I woke up yesterday, Sunday morning. I woke up early. and just all my brain could think about was I need to watch dance moms. I have not watched dance moms like eight years. I think I saw a TikTok or something that made me thinking about it.

Right, something triggered it. Yeah, and so I realized the first couple seasons are on Hulu, so I put it on. I've watched like 12 episodes in a day. It's, I don't know. Okay, so Barry, you told me you've never watched dance moms, right? Right. Dylan was like so happy, texting me like a picture because if you guys remember last week, I was talking about Adrian's glittery. hair extensions and he like sent me a picture of this girl on dance moms and I was like Dylan I've

I've never watched the show in my entire life he's like do it you'll get hooked and I can tell you were like in the mindset like it knee deep in dance mom it's so dance moms first it's from it started in 2011 and I was in high school and I I remember watching it and being like obsessed with it the first like couple seasons when it came out and then because I was like I did theater and like all my friends and I were just like obsessed with this crazy show and I would like tweet at the moms and stuff and like one of them followed me. It was really exciting. And so I haven't watched it in such a long time. And it is, it's really good. It holds up. I mean, it's like kind of terrible, but in a good way. Okay. So I don't know if this is on the same level at all because I haven't

watched dance moms. But for me, I'm more of a toddlers and tiaras type of girl. Yeah, I knew you were going to say that. And that you did. And so I randomly watched an episode a few weeks ago or something. and then I turned it off because I was like, this is, this is not okay. This is bad. So I'm just continuing my Real House of New Jersey journey, and I, I didn't, I never forgot, but I kind of forgot how insane their drama actually, like, was and how fast it escalated within the friendships. And again, I can't say it enough, which is why I just love Jersey so much because of, like,

the fact that they are related and they are all friends. and for me it's a little more genuine. The fights are more real. And like, Teresa's books. Oh my God, it's just so good, you guys. Like, oh, God. And it makes you, like, want pasta all the time, which I did eat all weekends.

So I am currently reading Teresa Judice's book, turning the tables. And you can follow along on my book club journey on at Bravo by Betches on Instagram. There's a story highlight. But that's beside the point. I was reading Chapter 1, growing up Gorga and there are like two full pages where Teresa is describing all the different

food that her parents would make and I'm just she's like red sauce and fried calamari and and and prosciutto and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah like on and on and I'm just reading it and I'm like oh I'm madonna mia salivating salivating but um I know I'm like drooling right now I'm like um but any oh and last week I made spaghetti at like 9 a.m it's fine. Um, okay, so,

a theme. Today, we are actually talking about Real House with Potomac, and I had this thought that I actually think this episode is more important and more crazy to talk about than the actual altercation. I agree. My God episode.

This, this episode, I texted Dylan last night and I said my heart is beating, like really fast. I agree. Okay. So the thing with the altercation is like, obviously it was really intense and,

crazy and we were leading up to it a lot. But the actual, like, that moment was only a few minutes long. And then so much else happened in the episode. We had Ashley and Michael. We had Karen and Ray. We had, you know, Giselle and Jamal in Atlanta. This episode, that scene at Karen's house where Monique sits down with all of the women except Candace took up, it was spread across the entire episode.

And it's so rare that we see kind of one scene, taking a, up the vast majority of an episode like that, but it felt, I'm so glad that they chose to edit it this way because so much happened in that conversation. I felt like a lot of ground was covered. Everyone's position sort of became really clear. And I thought it was super important because obviously we'll get into some specific moments, but throughout, it is so apparent that Monique is just not taking this the way that it. seems like would be wise for her. Right.

Well, you know, going off of what you just said where it was all one scene, remember when the beginning of Beverly Hills premiered and for a few weeks in a row, I remember, I remember saying this. I was like, why every episode, they're all just in like one place? Like every episode. Yeah. Yeah, was one episode, was one thing. And so it's really interesting to compare the two because of how good of a season, Potomac is.

that this one episode of them at one place like at Karen's house was so impactful because it was there was a reason for it. Right. On Beverly Hills sometimes it's like you feel like they're showing that because that's all they have. Whereas on Potomac,

they gave it this time because it needed it and it deserved it. And from the very beginning, I liked that we saw kind of the setup and how Monique called Karen and then Karen called Candice and Candice chose not to go which I thought was probably wise because the thing is there's we got time we got time to work through all of this if Candice had showed up to this thing it would not have been any kind of productive conversation I don't think

because clearly Monique was not in the headspace to like move past things I don't know um but we see Robin shows up first, which is like Robin being on time is already historic. Well, before you continue, I just have to say, I was figuring out how I wanted to discuss this. Like, did I want to talk about each individual, like, woman and how they handled it? Like, it's really a lot. And also I just want to say, I felt Karen handled this entire thing beautifully. Yes, I will say, I don't know that I agree with. her stance on the...

She was very strong. Her stance was very strong. But I appreciate the energy that she brought to it. And I thought she did a great job of hosting this. And I appreciated that she didn't want it to get heated. She wanted... Because I think that's... Obviously, it's fine to feel strongly about this.

It's a big situation. But this situation, Karen felt really strongly that she didn't want it to turn into like a knockdown drag out. like we had last week. So, Giselle shows up with her security guard, which... That was the best...

If the episode didn't even continue after that, I would have been happy. That was the best thing I've seen. And I loved that throughout the episode while they're having this deep, impactful conversation, we just get little glimpses of KP, just sitting back there. Like, he either...

He was like, come on. You sort of can't tell whether he has no... He, like, goes between having no clue what's going on and like sort of being interested. He's like, what the thing is happening? It was really funny. Really funny. And then Ashley shows up with Dean, which I was like,

they were on two different pages, you guys. Like, why is happening? Mom's got to do what they got to do, but I feel like this might be one occasion to not bring the baby. She always is like, I couldn't get a babysitter. I'm like, like, what is her mom that busy with? Anybody at that way.

Or Michael. Yeah. Anyway. But yeah. And then Wendy is there. Wendy looking great, as always, just always on point. And then Monique shows up last. And it's...

Okay. Okay. Take a breath and go, okay. Before Monique even gets there, they talk about how after the altercation, she tweeted, ask and you shall receive, which is just like the exact wrong. energy to set this off with, you know, because it's like you wouldn't tweet that if you were feeling any kind of remorseful. Yeah.

Okay. Here's the thing. When Monique gives her speech slash apology, I thought it was really nice at first. Like, I really did. I was like, wow, she's saying all the right things. She really seems like really that this is a fact. her and she doesn't want it to affect other women. So it was that up until

the part where she said she blacked out, which was just so that does happen. I'm not saying it doesn't. But in her case, it wasn't good that there were cameras in the car of her reciting the entire altercation from start to finish in detail.

And then we saw the next morning she was talking about it with Chris she, the thing is, okay, I think she sort of I don't know if she really, I don't think blacking out was really the term she wanted to use. I think in her mind, she

meant kind of that it was like the adrenaline was pumping. She was amped up and maybe she didn't remember everything exactly as it happened. But when you say blacked out, that means I didn't know what I was doing. Like I saw red, I didn't know.

That means you would be in the car and you would be like, what the fuck just happened for the last 30 minutes? How did I get here? And in this situation, it's like, Monique, you need to be a little more exact with the way you're talking about this because it is a deep situation. And these women aren't just going to let her get away. And especially when they were talking about how the leaks that had gotten out to the blogs

were very one-sided in Monique's favor, which is, I mean, I'm not, I don't feel like it makes, it's not my, like, I'm not going to be like, oh, Monique leaked it herself because I don't actually know. But it definitely seems like somebody that Monique was talking to then talked to the blogs. Yeah. Maybe it was Tchalla. Maybe Tchalla's blocked. Yeah.

How long have you been waiting to say that? You know. Here's a thing. If she had this entire thing to say to these women, just continue and be on it. it was going really smoothly. So what, just take full, no one was mad on, this happens in any situation. In real life for shows,

no one gets mad until you lie. So, so that moment is when people start to be like, okay, which brings us to Ms. Robin. She's, and she's making these big statements about, I'm never a person who would go into someone's face and assault them for no reason. I, you know, I'm not a person

that would just go attack someone. buddy. And it's like, Giselle says, but you did. But most importantly, we have Robin, who I would say this was maybe one of Robin's best episodes

ever when Monique is telling this whole story about how she blacked out and, you know, the wine glass and all of that. And Robin just says, you almost had me. Yeah, it was like, whoa. She says, you almost had me,

but that is an absolute lie. and I, oh my God, she's talking about the velocity with which the table was hit and the wine. The wine that Candace was holding was white and the wine on her face was red. Red and. Oh, my God. I was like, Robin was like an actual referee during this. I was like, how did you see all this, all of this? But I guess she was at a, it, she had a lot of detail.

Yeah, like, here's the thing. Go ahead. I thought the way Monique took all the things each and all the every woman was saying to her was great. I thought she was like receptive to it. Like I thought. But then it was, it came to a point where I was like, is she just yesing them along or is she like taking this in? I don't, I don't know. I really, she had me too.

Well, I think we did. I mean, it's obvious. I think Monique is, she's very good at being put together and, you know, like, you know, she's not going to be like, fuck you, fuck this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But the way, the things she's actually saying when she says that she's justifying again her actions, including the tweet that she sent saying, ask, and you shall receive, and saying, you know, when you get up in my face and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, every person that has watched this and that was there is saying that you were the one who took it to that place.

So regardless, and certainly we see this episode, Candice is also having trouble accepting her role in this thing. Yeah. But Monique is the fact that she is saying that she feels embarrassed about what happened and what she did, but she doesn't actually feel remorse. And I feel like that's a really important distinction. And I think Wendy was the one who was kind of pointing this out. And I thought Wendy was great this episode too. That saying you're embarrassed because you did something embarrassing is much different than saying that you are truly sorry for what happened. And recognizing that it was not just embarrassing, but it was wrong.

The way Wendy explained it was like a good point in her like saying that if you're remorseful, you feel bad. about what you did if you're not what's to say like you won't do it again or something along those lines i don't remember what she said the thing is we got to get to giselle because i feel a bunch of different ways about this is good we are really working the room here and going around and we'll get to messy ass Ashley in a minute okay jazelle taking notes i I thought was a I didn't I didn't agree with that I mean I was like just sit there and listen

like all the other like all the other women are doing like I know what you're saying and what you're doing and Giselle really did I did see a difference out of her she like really wasn't into this she like felt very uncomfortable around Monique after this but like the fact the bodyguard the note like it was a lot but here's the thing where I got a little like confused she pulled out her phone and was taking notes

but then when the tables turned a little bit and Monique and Candice, Giselle started talking to Monique and Monique was like, yep, yep, they all flipped out that she was being condescending. But Giselle was kind of doing that to her too. Like I kind of felt that on both ends that the way they were both treating each other was condescending. They're both like, yep, yep, answering each other. Like, I didn't think it was just Monique doing that to Giselle.

I thought it was both ways. And to be honest, the fact, well, I'll jump ahead a little bit, the fact that Giselle got up and left, I didn't agree with that. Everyone else sat there, even whether they agreed with her or not, and sat and heard her out. I didn't think that was right that she got up and left. That's just how I feel about that. I think the thing with Giselle, I didn't disagree with anything that Chazel was saying. I think I basically am on the same page with Giselle and Robin and Wendy about this whole thing, more than anyone else. And the thing is, I think Robin and Wendy seemed like they were very clear-headed and they wanted to have a discussion.

Whereas I think just went into it a little bit like Karen Huger's press conference, like she wanted to do a show and like she had the bodyguard and the notebook. And it's like I appreciate the reality show, you know, theatrics. but I think in terms of like on a human level and this was a really important discussion, I think that Wendy and Robin's energy was kind of what was needed. I do agree with what Giselle said though with what you said earlier when when she called out last year, the year after that, the year after that and that, I thought Giselle in that respect, yes, like everything she said was true. Also, I thought it was really important when she pointed out.

all the times that Monique has either threatened or been close to getting physical with someone. And then she specifically notes the fact that you said what you were going to do and then you did it in front of six cameras. Yeah. And that that's not something where you just kind of like, you know, thought you were going to get away with it or whatever. It's like, no, that was truly your reaction to that situation. And you had no problem with the fact that it was on camera. That was what you were doing. And yeah, I mean, there's no, there's no, like, arguing with that.

I think you can, you can definitely fault Giselle for kind of the attitude that she was bringing to the situation. But, like, she didn't lie. And I think that's what, that's what was kind of frustrating to me about Ashley's whole energy is that she's putting her own situation with Candace into this other situation with Monique. And it's like, trust me, Candice can do bad all by herself. Like, Candace doesn't need you, like, you can do this situation separately and then get mad at Candice later for your own shit. Because trust me, Candice is far from perfect. She is messy all the time, whatever. But in this situation, it's like, don't take Monique's side in this just because you don't like Candice for some other drama.

Like, it's just lame. And, like, to me, it makes Ashley look kind of like a little foolish in this situation because it's like you look like you're just. mad about something. And so you're like not actually willing to see the situation. Ashley was being a little too um easy with Monique. Like I liked, I did appreciate all the things Ashley was saying,

but she was kind of, you're right, like she was kind of like to team Monique. You know what I mean? And she was like, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. And we're like, that's not the point here though. I really liked what, Wendy said before Monique got there when she said, I want this to be a safe space,

but I also want it to be a brave space, which means we're going to be honest. We're not going to, we're not going to, like, not talk about things or cover things up just in the name of making it a safe space because that doesn't actually accomplish anything. And I think that's, I think that's, like, a really important kind of thing to think about just in life that it's like being supportive of somebody doesn't just mean being a cheerleader for them all the time and that you can be critical or want someone to do better

and still be supportive of them. It'll be interesting to see kind of where the season goes from here because we got the midseason trailer this week and obviously there's a lot left to come. It's not going to be a smooth sailing but I'm curious like is Monique going to be on the show very much? Like we don't see a lot of her in that trailer.

Even Ashley's response, she was like when Monique said maybe I shouldn't do this, Ashley was like, well, for a little, maybe like for a little. Like, you can tell like when you could, Monique was like potentially threatening to leave the show. Ashley got like a little nervous. But I thought it was interesting when Monique was like saying she's going to go to her pastor. And I forgot which one of the women, I'm sorry, said like something about prayer doesn't heal, heal everything, whatever.

And you hear Karen and background goes, prayer heals everything. Like, don't get me started. And I was like just thought instantly about your prayer candle with Karen Huger's face on it. I'm looking at it right now. I and I, but also then Wendy was like prayer like not everything can be solved just by prayer. You know like it's a it's a nice sentiment. But at the same time it's like, no, you have actual work to do on yourself. Yeah.

Let's talk just a little bit about watch what happens live because Monique was on last night. And yes. So we're almost a year removed from this fight now, from this altercation. And I feel that Monique has not done a lot of the growing that would have behooved her in this time. She's still, she's still talking about the wine glass and, you know. Here's the thing. No matter what situation, especially this one, there are three sides to the story. And we are, that is, Monique's, Candace, and the truth, and we were not there, and we are hearing a lot of different sides in this particular incident because of all the women. And we're, so our heads are like, what the hell is going on? So I do feel for both the women in this sense, because you see

in Candice's therapy session, like, Twitter is like on her, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. Because of course, your fans are going to take your side. That's why from day one, Dylan and I were both like, we're not honest. Like, I don't know. Right. I don't watch these shows to root for one person. other. I watch to be entertained. Like, yeah, and I'm not rooting for, you know. So it's funny when you see the side by side, though, and that Candace really also is like, I did not do anything to deserve this.

I know. Yes, you didn't do anything to deserve getting hit in, or your hair pulled, but you were very much involved in this, in making someone feel this way about you. There's a big difference between saying, I didn't deserve that treatment and saying, I did nothing to contribute to it getting to that place. Because it's like, I don't think any, I mean, I've seen a couple people on social media being like, somebody had to do it. But in general, most people are not like, oh, Candace deserved that.

But also, if you're watching it, it's clear that both of them were contributing to the overall argument and situation. And neither of them were just like being calm and walking away. So it's like, I, it's almost in this situation, it's like, I want to, I want to be able to root for Candice. And if Candice was like, yeah, I shouldn't have taken it there. And then that was the consequence, it would be so much easier to be like, good for Candice. She's, you know, owning her part of it. But it's like both of them are just like missing the ball.

And it's like, oh, right. And Monique also brought up something. Like, she was kind of like deflecting a lot. And she also brought up, like, we see a fight next episode with the husbands. Like, we see with Chris and Michael, we see, she brought up even, she's like, this happens, like all, like on other franchises too. And I'm just like, oh, my God, but focus on your set. That doesn't make, it's like two rights don't make a wrong.

Too wrong. Okay, I just said that completely. Two wrongs don't make a right. I was like, hold on, what? Two wrongs don't make a right. And like, we're just focusing on yours right now. But what I did find interesting, what she said last night is Andy was asked, Andy was really digging, digging and digging.

And I was like, felt bad for Bowen because I was like, he's not a lot of words in. He's on SNL, by the way. But he asked if she had apologized. And Monique's answer was very interesting where she said she asked the producers. She actually reached out to the producers, see if they can have a sit down. and at that point, Candace's lawyers had gotten involved. So she became legal and she never reached out.

So at that point, we're like, but are you still allowed to, like, I don't know. I don't know what that goes. It's weird because in the episode last night, when they asked if she had apologized, she was still like, apologize for what? And it's like, that obviously is like, just like she was, and she was saying that her adrenaline was, you know, she still didn't know how she was feeling. And it's like, girl, it's been a week.

it's one thing if you're not ready to apologize that night, but it's like she was, I don't know, I just think it's hard because obviously I don't feel I need to pick a side. I don't really care to root for either of them at this point, but it's like Monique, I feel like until a couple weeks ago, my general vibe of Monique was, I really like Monique, she just is wrong about something sometimes.

And now I'm like, you're just, you're like ruining the goodwill that people have toward you by like just missing every chance to take the high road here. And it's always so funny because we always talk about like I for a while was like I love Monique. I love Monique. Like she's so great. She's so great. But it is crazy. We don't know these people personally. Like yeah, we've met. We interviewed Monique and that was even after the fact where I said I liked her. But it is interesting when it's like, well, she didn't do anything to me. Yeah, but I see what she does to other people and the way she's like,

embracing it. And I don't know. We have a lot more of the season to go. It's very, this felt like a big therapy session for us also. I know. Okay, Barry, who is your number one Bravo Lab in the group? It was definitely Karen, because I thought her, her, the way, like I said earlier, the way that she was gracious enough to host this without even hesitating. The fact that she ordered food and got pissed that no one ate it. I love that. It should have been in the room though. Put it on the coffee table. Right. I know. And people with food is in front of them, they'll be in a better mood. So it's a fact. So yeah, I thought Karen did a really great job and I

props to her for that. I am going to give it to Robin and Wendy because I felt they really brought a good productive energy into this discussion. And I appreciated that they were strong in their stance of holding Monique accountable, but not in just not in a messy way like Giselle kind of was slanting toward. And I thought, you know, Monique was not really ready to receive it maybe, but I think they did, they really were trying. And I appreciate that. And I'm very interested to see where the rest of the season goes from here. Yeah, I completely agree with you with those two. I think they handled it really maturely.

and like other people we see, it didn't escalate and start yelling back and forth. Like they were actually just letting her know how they felt. And I thought, I hope it got across to her, but I don't think either of them did. Wow. I need to like take a map after this. Guys, don't forget to check out our Bravo My Betches collection on shopbettches.com. My mention it all hat came in over the weekend. And I am over the moon with how it looks.

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