Mention It All - Viva La Group Text Ft. Fat Carrie Bradshaw (RHONY, MDLLA)

Episode Date: August 21, 2020

Bari and Dylan are joined by Betches’ own Fat Carrie Bradshaw for a very special episode. They reminisce on BravoCon memories, and share their first impressions of Countess Luann’s new song. Then they talk RHONY, and why Ramona felt the need to send that shady text. Back in New York, the women gather to celebrate Sonja’s success, and Ramona continues to be the worst. Finally, they share some quick thoughts about this week’s Million Dollar Listing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Girl, winter is so last season. And now Springs got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope.

It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Betches Media presents. Ha ha, laugh, funny. Mention It All, a Bravo by Betches podcast. We don't say that, but now we said it. With Dylan Hafer.

Who don't check me, boo? And Barry Rosenfeld. I need to start drinking alcohol. Now go to sleep, we. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Mention at All podcast. I'm Dylan Hafer. And I'm Barry Rosenfeld.

And we are here with a very, very, very special talent. gorgeous guest. Fat Carrie Bradshaw himself. Wow. AKA Chris Burns, but. Wow, that was such a nice introduction, Barry. Is there any other word you would use to describe yourself that I missed?

Wealthy. I would say rich. Yeah, very rich. Guys, fun story. So you may know Chris, aka Fat Carrey from the Bachelor podcast, the feeling is virtual. all things, Betches video.

Obviously, we know and love you. Chris, we have some experiences together because we did BravoCon together. We did. Okay, so we... Did BravoCon together. It was a time. So we hosted the Summer House panels

or parties or whatever they wanted to call it. And we had an experience together with one Craig that I feel like we need to share with the people. Did you guys get a pillow? We were offered pillows, but they never arrived. Are you serious? Well, I don't know that. Craig was not sober, I would say, when he offered the pillows, so he probably forgot.

But Carl, so Carl from Summerhouse was calling me Fat Carrie. And Craig thought Craig all of a sudden starts yelling at Carl saying don't call people that and then Carl said what and then Craig looked

at me and was like you're just Gary to me man and that's when I realized that Craig thought that my name was Gary and Carl was just calling me that Gary. You know what the funniest part of this story is is that you're at Bravocom which is kind of like

their ter like their ter. like their territory and they were having a conversation just about you. No, they were talking to me like Carl was talking to me and then. It was a hilarious moment because it was like me and a couple of the other like summer house people were all sitting, we were in the green room before this party and Craig was just hanging out and we all knew, we like knew what was happening and so we're just sitting there like, oh my God. I was like, he thinks my name is Gary and I was just being called Fat Gary as like an insult.

Oh my God. Then we also did the, we saw Luann's cabaret closing show. We went to Luann's cabaret together. She was very late. I would say she was tardy for the party. She was tardy for the party and the audience was not having it. Well. That was an amazing experience, but we also, speaking of cabaret,

Luan's brand new song dropped today. It could not be better timing. Is that what we want to call it? a song maybe like a monologue with music yeah it sounds like a spoken word piece yeah well you know what if that's how you can remember your words

and lyrics and like get the point across I'm all for it so it's Desmond Child featuring Countess Luann but she's the old he's like the producer so she it's her song she's singing on the song and like Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse the exact same.

Amy Winehouse just rolled in her grave. So it's Viva La Diva, and she's been teasing it for a long time. I think the release got delayed because of COVID, but it starts with her just speaking in her countessie tone as she does. This song is like peak Luann feeling her fantasy as a cabaret star. Yes. I told you guys earlier. if you close your eyes, I can picture myself in like a smoky bar, wearing like a boa and smoking a

cigarette and just having Luan on a small stage, like performing this in front of me. But like, you know what? I'm proud of her. She just has so much fun. And like she takes this very seriously. And we see a lot of people not taking their side hustle seriously. And Luan really goes for it. Her side hustle is making songs called Viva La Diva. Oh, wait. So, guys, I always ask this because I'm thinking you guys can help me. When she sings the Viva La Diva, what song is it? It's a song, Dylan, you know, what song is it?

Like, it was on the tip of my tongue, and I was like, this is another song that I'm hearing, like, an oldie song, but I can't put my finger on it. I've only listened to it once. How many times have you listened to it? It came out this morning. I mean, same, Chris. I listened to it one time. I listened to it maybe thrice. I would say it's a very like Diana Ross kind of vibe.

I'm not comparing Luan to Diana Ross, but I think that's kind of the vibe she was going for, or Desmond was. But the part in the middle, every song of hers has like a little breakdown where she just starts like calling out things. And in this song, she goes, These jewels, they're mine. These shoes, Jimmy Chu.

This faux fur, it's cruelty-free. Just like me. That's my friend, my friend that's a comedian, his name's Jay Malski. He just did a song, and it's like, or not a song, but he posted it. It was like all the Housewives songs. And ironically, literally, that's, he's literally just like, things, things, I'm listing things. Shoes, I like shoes. And then the chorus is literally like, Jimmy Chews.

And it's literally the exact same thing. Really? Yeah. That's very funny. It reminds me. It's like in Sheikse de la V when she's like, Jill, your jewelry. Kelly, you're jelly beans. Just name some shit.

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the love hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more. Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. So we have an episode of Roney to talk about and that ties in perfectly with Countess Luann

because we are back on the cabaret grind with her. But first, we're wrapping up the Mexico trip and Ramona just cannot help herself and she sends a group text we find out later to everyone but Leah and it's an article that she found because she

was Googling because she loves to Google about what makes people angry and she's sending this to send a message to Derinda and God Ramona what have you done Ramona? She's just like I'm sorry sending a text is one thing

sending a text to someone while you're on the same trip with them where you're going to see them in five minutes is a whole other situation. Like, get some balls and say it to her face. So I'm sorry. Usually I don't like the way Durinda like fires back, but this was absolutely worth it. Like, she came back because all she kept saying throughout the episode,

all you got to do is Google Ramona and, like, articles upon articles just come up. And she sent like five articles back. Yeah. Lifting all of the other housewives that Ramona has kind of gotten into fights with. I love that they couldn't say Housewives on camera so she goes, my friend Margaret Joseph's, Vicki, my friend Giselle.

And it's like, we know who these people are. I also don't understand what Ramona's exact point was. Like, what was she getting? Like, what was she doing to try to get? Like, sometimes she wants to get a rise out of Durinda. Like, she does it on purpose. what did she think what she was going to do?

I think that she, Ramona is starting to, like, this is going to sound awful, but like show her age a little bit. Like she was doing things that reminded me of like, the way that my parents, my mom's friends would deal with things.

Oh, absolutely. And it's, and also Ramona pooping in her robe and just what the fuck was that? I don't understand Ramona's the cognitive dissonance between how upset she gets with Leah talking about anything sexual, anything, honestly, like

basically anything at all. And then she's literally like awesome my robe, can you believe it? And it's like, that's not cute either. Like, she literally didn't like to... I'd rather hear about Leah's... I'd rather hear about Leah's vagina than Ramona pooping in her robe. Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Ramona knows not one thing about wine, but then constantly acts like she knows about wine, and it makes me insane. Like the episode before the last one, she's like, oh, what do we have tonight?

Is there a, do we have a cabernet? And I'm like, okay, so you don't know anything. And then getting mad because the bottle was too old. I love that Sonia was like, okay, I'll take the 1963, you take the 2020. be the 2020- She called her out like very nicely this season because I think she's starting to get sick of her shit

but also going back to the text really quick when Luan came in and the fact that she had to ask Ramona if she did this on purpose if it was an accident means and like that's not cool that you didn't you weren't doing something to get a point across like Luan literally thought you sent that text by accident not like to get Duranba's attention

And Ramona was like, no, I did it. I sent it on purpose. Then she, like, hid in her bed waiting. I also think it's frustrating that Ramona and Sonia are kind of then mad at Luanne for not taking their side in this whole thing. Because it's like, okay, Luan is perfectly capable of calling Durinda on her shit. But that doesn't mean she has to agree with you sending a passive aggressive article in a group text while you're all on a vacation together.

Like, being, having similar views to someone is not the same thing as just blindly agreeing with everything they do. Well, Sonia and Ramona in general, when they're, have you ever seen like America's Funniest Home videos when there's like twins that share a bedroom and they'll show like the security cam of like the two year old twins that are like supposed to be sleeping and they're like having a pillow fight or something? That's what I feel like I'm watching when we leave Sonia and Ramona in a room together. It's just like two children, like, bouncing ideas off of each other that make no sense. Like, I just, Sonia, God bless her. I love her. She's obviously a staple, but she really adds nothing to the mix when it comes to conversation. Yeah, but she, like, sits with her glasses on.

And anytime someone comes in, she always goes, oh, here we go. And that's like my favorite part of every episode now. She's like, stands to the side. She goes, here we go. But when Ramona and Durinda, when Durinda came and like came to her, first of all, those pants looked like they were 30 pounds. So I was like that beating is honey. Oh my God. I liked when they were bickering and going at each other and digging.

And I was like, this is like a middle school fight of two like little girls just like going after each other. However, I don't agree that Durinda twice put her hands on like Ramona's shoulder. I was like, eke. Like I knew she wasn't going to do anything. But I was like, don't touch the part. Like, don't do that. But they were kept, like, they kept mock. Like, Dorinda does this whole new mocking thing.

And she's like, oh, really? Oh, okay. You do. Oh, okay. And I'm just like, ooh, that's like spicy. Also, I don't understand the idea that Ramona would be jealous of Durinda. I don't think that's true. No, I don't get that either.

I also didn't get when she said that, of course, Luanne wants Durinda in her good graces, because she gives her things. She gave her Giovanni. I'm like, what? she gave her, she told her a designer existed, that's why she... Yeah, I don't know, I don't all of a sudden get this idea that everyone knows Durinda has all these perks and everyone wants to be buddy, buddy with Durinda. It's like, has that ever been a thing?

She doesn't even have the dry cleaning hook up anymore. And when she did, I don't think anybody really got their clothes dry cleaned from John. Not that I can recall. Yeah, I don't... Durinda does not strike me as the type to, like, what are you going to get from her? Okay, so he lives in the same neighborhood as Barry, for God's sake. Hey, it's a great place. Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan.

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Okay, so at the dinner, Leah finds out that she was not on this group text. What would you guys, would you guys want to be on the group text, or would you want to steer clear of the drama? I wouldn't want to be in the group chat for the, to be involved in the drama. But that was a very, that move was done on purpose where Ramona didn't include Leah. Like if you're, they should have a group chat for the trip in general. So a new one shouldn't have been made. And that was a dig and that was a typical Ramona disgusting move.

Yeah. I do understand like obviously those three women have known each other for like 12 years or something like that. And they've known Leah for like less than a year. So I do understand. Obviously, they have a different bond and we'll have like a different group chat. But I think Ramona is just like a terrible nightmare shrew and that she was doing that on purpose. Right. It's like they shouldn't have been having that conversation like that anyway.

So then if you're going to put it in the text, just put it in the text with everyone. Also, just text orinda. Why are you making that a group chat? Also, don't do it while you're still on vacation. So many, so many opportunities for this to go a different way, and it just didn't. She also has, like, Google anger to, like, confirm her thought. And also, like, you had to Google that. You didn't, like, know what set someone off.

Well, it's, that's what I'm saying. It's like she's learning about the internet for the first time. She's like, I Googled Leah, and she has a disorder called bipolar. And that means that she takes pills. And it's like, the only reason she had something to say about the meds is because she like Googled what meds bipolar people take. Yeah. And then meanwhile, Sonia's like, my diuretics make me crazy and have the exact same symptoms of taking too much Xanax and drinking. She's like I threw them right in the garbage.

Okay. We also see, because there were so many, can you hear me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. There were so many side conversations. throughout this episode. It was like a mini therapy session. So on the trip, we also see Luann and Durinda again having a conversation

that to me is just going in circles. I feel like they need to have another approach with Durinda. These conversations as sober and as calm as they start, they just like don't end the way Luan wants them to. And I kind of feel bad and I kind of want to let her know that like as a friend, this isn't working. What are your thoughts? I think Dyrinda, I don't think Dorenda can be spoken to right now.

Okay. I think Dorenda needs, like, literally to see a therapist. Like, clearly she's, like, very angry. If I would, I think they're kind of between a rock and a hard place because they can't distance themselves from her while she figures this out because of the show. So I think, like, I don't know what else they can do. I think, Diorinda, really needs someone to put her in her place.

But at this point, Leah is too new. She's afraid of Durinda. She doesn't want to be that person, which I understand. And the other women have too much baggage with Durinda. And Durinda, so Durinda feels like she has leverage to not listen to their opinion because anytime Luann's like, Durinda, you should think about this. Durinda can just be like, well, you went to jail.

Anytime Ramona does it, it's like you did this thing. And so I agree that she probably needs therapy, or at the very least, some kind of like outside person who she actually respects to be like, look, this isn't good. This happens over and over again. And it needs to be an environment where Durinda doesn't feel attacked and that she can just automatically throw it back in that person's face. And I don't, unfortunately, I don't think anyone,

in the cast at this point is really the right person to do that. Maybe Bethany could have been that person. I don't know. Oh, I thought you were going to say Barry. And I was like, yeah, I could do that. Yeah, Barry, you go do it. You said Bethany, but it's fine.

I've done this phone number if you want me to give it to you. Maybe we can have a group chat. Okay. Wait, can we talk about Ramona at therapy? Well, speaking of therapy, yes. Okay, number one, that therapist, hello, honey. If you're listening, slide into my DMs, I have that Gary Bradshaw.

Sorry, Ramona's already trying to flirt with him, so you can't have. That was so cringe-worthy, was Ramona being like, of course, I have, men love me, women love me. I have a perfect body. Everything's great. And, like, I'm like, what are you doing? And even he's like, well, I guess just keep doing what you're doing because you sound fine. And I'm like, she's so delusional. Watching Ramona flirt with anyone is like,

like makes me want to vomit. Also, good God, lady, stop using the word coquettish. You're 63 years old. You're just, you just love to flirt. Don't be like, well, you know, I get about all these men, and then I'm acting coquettish. They just love my energy, and I don't look, like, it's my perfect body.

Nobody does coquettish mean. Like, it's like you're being. Like, bashful, like, right, like bashful, like you're, yeah, like, that little like look in her eyes that she gets when she, like, she like sees a prize and she wants to win it and she's like, like giggling. Let's not bring up Ramona's eyes. Oh my God. But it's, yeah, I mean, the therapy thing, it just feels so self-gratifying because she

literally is bragging about herself for five minutes. And then the therapist is basically like, yep, sounds like you're doing so much better. And that therapist, like, I couldn't when she's like, cut, cash. And then she sits there and like gives them. eyes for like a full minute and he's like, okay. Um, mm-hmm. She's like, don't you think it sounds like I have my shit really together right now? And he's like, mm-hmm.

And I love, she's like, I'm more than a perfect body. And I want people to know me as more than this perfect body. And I'm like, I think they do. One of her friends, one of her friends probably went to the therapist, texted her and was like, Ramona, my therapist is really hot. Like you should go see if you can like get. And like, that's what I'm envisioning happened. Yeah.

It's the, it's the epitabit. of housewives therapy where they go no more than two times and have an extreme breakthrough and then they never have to go again? Like in Potomac when Charisse was going for that season and she like would only talk about it constantly for that one

season? Yeah, there have been many housewife therapy sessions that get wrapped up a little too neatly for any real life context. So then Luann has her rehearsal that Sonia

doesn't show up to. Intentionally. Intentionally doesn't show up to. Do you think that she actually didn't, that she knew about it and didn't show, or she didn't know? She said, I didn't think I had to go. I thought it was going to be improv. Prior, in that conversation,

she was like, I didn't know about this rehearsal. You didn't tell me about it. I think she didn't remember being told about it. Okay. Or that she was told about it and never really planned on going. I don't think she actually was never told. The whole thing is like having done like I grew up doing theater

I went to school doing theater I've performed a lot The idea of thinking that you don't need to go to a rehearsal because you're quote unquote Impromptu is so absurd and she is like in her confessional she is so indignant She's like I don't need to go to a rehearsal I don't rehearse and it's like it's one rehearsal you're not Yeah no you don't rehearse on your weekends out it's like a run-through Luann is so funny too because she's like, no, there's a whole script right here like she's so like calm about it

and she's like we'll just go over it like next time I see you like she just wants her show to be great even she was like Sonia and then she's like oh no Sonia Rita I should say Sonia Rita and I was like yes Luan Sonia thinks that just because she was asked to be in the show means that Luan

just wants her to show up and do whatever whereas like no you're being asked to be in a show that's going to be a specific thing that you're doing. That was something else. I mean, those rehearsals, I just... And then the director that's like, I wish I could come,

I have my fire island winter hang out. Like, how did this make the show? This made the edit, for God's sake. He also left during the rehearsal. But we also see a really sweet moment with Leah and Bunny, who is her mother. And I liked this real conversation that they had because Leah did call her out on being told that she doesn't like her.

Like she, her sister told her that her mother didn't like her. And I kind of got where her mom was coming from. She was like, I might not like you some days. That doesn't mean I don't love you. That's like typical mother sentence. Like I feel like all my parents say that. I don't like you, but I love you. I still think it's kind of fucked up to say that to your other.

daughter about your daughter. Correct. Correct. I agree with that. Do you guys want to go to that spa one it opens, like when we're allowed to? No, thank you. Wait, what spa? That weird underground spa. Oh, the, the, um, the bathhouse? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I've been to like the Israeli one. Those are, they're insane. They get like very, very intoxicated when you go. I think it's going to be like 2026 before I feel comfortable in that space. Going to a bathhouse. It doesn't look the cleanest. Oh, it probably isn't. No. I can't imagine.

They're probably open and running illegally as we say. It's authentic. It's authentic. So then we finish off the episode at Sonia's Century 21 launch party, which good for her. She finally got it off the ground. I feel like she's talking a little bit. She's blowing a little bit of smoke up her own ass by being like, I finally made it because it's like, okay, like, clothes are in the store,

but like you're not selling a billion dollars worth of inventory. And they also said it was a collab, which means like she's not in this store. For those of you that don't live in New York, Century 21 is like a Kmart. That's where I started my career, Chris. It's like an upscale, I would say it's like an upscale. It's an off-price design. It's an off-price designer department store. that's exactly what it is.

So it's like it's like it's like it's like it's Zara, which is already an off-price designer store. And it's it's a major, it's a major tourist spot. So it's a small like family own department store only in like the tri-state area. That's why a lot of you might not know what it is. But I personally was smiling watching Sonia give her speech. She really was like glowing. I was proud of Sonia for, I mean, this is a big deal.

And I worked on Wall Street when she was going in Century 21. And I remember seeing all of her cardboard cutouts in the windows. And I'm like, good for Sonia. Guys, has there been an episode where the toaster wasn't in it, though? It has like a cameo in every episode. Oh, my God. I do love that she can, like, laugh about that. Also, Ramona's phone going off at that.

the poor guy, like the manager or whatever he was at Century 21 that's like, what's going on during her speech? And Chris, you tweeted about this, which I was dying laughing at, when Ramona is talking to the bartender, I would say, all the time. And she's saying that she wants a glass full to the top with ice with one shot of vodka. Shot of vodka, Pellegrino, and a line. And then I go and I squeeze. Sometimes I do two lines. Sometimes I do three.

And I'm like, it's a vodka soda, Ramona. Right. A vodka soda. In the Hamptons, they call that the Ramona. Let me know where, though, like which Hamptons does that? I feel like it's like one specific bar that she goes to all the time. Not even a bar. One bartender.

One bartender who's like, ha, ha, the Ramona. That's 100% what that is. And she thinks that that bartender wants to fuck her, but he is definitely gay. She's literally standing behind the bar at Sonia's thing. Like when she's talking to that bartender, she's behind the bar yelling about this shape of the ice cubes and stuff. Absolutely ridiculous. Is next week the season finale? It's not, right?

No, Beverly Hills finale is next year. No. Oh, God. They cannot do that to us. Yeah, they cannot end both. But is it because I think the reunions are happening at the same time? I think there's probably like two or three weeks left on New York. So really quickly, we just need to mention Million Dollar Listing L.A. this week.

We saw an old house that brought back one or two memories. I wouldn't say a lot of memories. Carlton Jebia's weird medieval mansion was first. sale, but we didn't get to see Carlton. What the fuck, Bravo? Yeah, I could totally picture her, like, being like, fuck that. I'm not coming on the show. But, see, that's interesting to me is why would she then agree? Because it was her husband. Well, why would her husband want to be on?

Yeah, I don't know. It reminded, I thought it was going to be a situation like last season of Below Deck when they had Alexis Bellino on a charter, and it was like food, food, for my soul, I was so, so excited to see her making out with her new younger man. And we didn't even get a cameo from Carlton. It was, I felt like I was left with like blue balls for a million dollar listing this week. Oh my God. That is quite the, um, like comparison. Yeah, but honestly, her house is so insane and it's very specific.

It's an actual castle. Like it's a real life. Did she still have the sex dungeon in the downstairs? They didn't show that. they have four Julietette, what are they called? Balconies. Balconies, like, overlooking, like, the main living room. So, like, it's so beautiful.

It really is, and it is updated. I remember, so I didn't watch, but. I didn't watch Million Dollar Listing, or I didn't see that episode, but I remember her house, and I remember hating her house. Oh, it's, it's heinous. It's so ugly. When the cat falls, remember when her cat falls off one of the balconies?

I don't remember that. I definitely don't think her house. is heinous, I just think it's very specific. Like, specific. It's like the fucking Versace house in Selling Sunset. Yes. Yes, it is.

But that was that. And for Carlton, and like, maybe we'll, like, I don't, they moved to Florida, though. So we found out. So we can't even see her on Real House's of Miami because that doesn't exist. So we'll never see Carlton again, literally. The first woman that had sex with

brandy glanville oh my god stop it okay so chris every episode at the end very quickly we name who our number one bravo lebb in the group is so it can be your favorite person from from the show we talked about so probably from real hostages in new york um so who is your number one bravo lab in the group my number one brava lab so i posted in my story when lea posted a picture of her in luann i put it in my story and said, I'm going to tell my kids, this is Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor. And then Leah responded to it. Oh, my God, L-O-L and then re-shared it. And so now I love Leah more than ever because she got that reference and thought it was funny. Love that. Barry. We do love Leah in this group. My Bravo Love this week is definitely going to Josh Altman because

he did a negotiation this week that I was like blown away by. Not really, though. because that's his job and he's ridiculous at it. But he made a call, came back, told his buyer, whatever, that it was a different price, and the buyer came back with the price that he want. It was just very cool to see in real life and it happening. So it's going to the talented Josh Alman. Okay, and I'm gonna go with Luann.

Congrats on your new song. Viva or Diva, indeed. In stores now. Long live the countess. Yeah, and when you listen to this, episode they can listen to Luann's song on Spotify as well of course thank you guys so much for having me beva la diva anytime we'll talk housewives and whatever else would love don't forget to rate review subscribe follow us on

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