Mention It All - Will There Ever Be Progress In Potomac? Ft. Dr. Wendy Osefo

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

As the Potomac cast works through their issues in Austin, Dr. Wendy Osefo returns to the podcast with her takes on the current season. She chats through her evolving approach to the show, and how her position in the cast has changed as well. She also assesses her feelings on Robyn’s, along with other cast controversies from this season. Later, she dives deep on her issues with Nneka, and why this conflict has hit different from past situations on the show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever rearranged your furniture and discovered the carpet underneath looks brand new, while the rest of it looks, well, not so new? It's time for a carpet upgrade. At the Home Depot, we have stylish choices at simple prices from all the top brands. Best of all, we can install it for you, starting at only 49 cents per square foot. So all you have to do is pick your perfect floor. Start your carpet project today at the Home Depot. How doers get more done. Exclusions apply for licenses, see Home Depot.com slash license numbers.

Betches Media presents Ha ha ha laugh funny Mention It All A Bravo by Betches podcast We don't say that But now we said it With me, Dylan Hafer Hey everyone

Welcome back to the mention at all podcast I'm Dylan Hayfer And I am so excited To be joined in the studio today By a real housewife of Potomac A professor A doctor

Dr. Wendy Ocefo Hi Dylan How you doing I'm so good now that I'm here with you Thank you. I feel like you're like a friend that I've never met. So I was like, hey. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, because you've been on the show. Yes. A fair few years now. Yes, I have. It's your fourth season. Can you believe it? It's wild because Potomac was always like the newer show.

You know, it's, you know, you had, you were an addition to the cast after a few seasons. And now it's like eight seasons. You're on four of them. You know, one of our. NBC people. We were talking and they were like, you know, because you've been on the show for half of the time the show has been on. And I had to stop and do math.

I'm like, my gosh, it's been on eight seasons. I've been on four. That's half of the time. Right. That's crazy. I think sometimes maybe this is because Potomac has that strong for OG thing that, you know, they're not going anywhere. It feels almost like even Candace sometimes.

times it's like, oh, like the newer girls. And it's like, what are we doing here? It's been a while. It's been a while. Do you feel like your approach to the seasons has changed as you've been on the show longer? Like, are you more comfortable? Are you more careful about what you share?

Interesting. I think I'm more comfortable than I was in seasons prior. Like, there's a level of comfortability you have in front of the camera that audience members can see. You know how like you could see someone who's probably new and they look uncomfortable? Like they're worried about camera placement. They're worried about their placement. But now it's just like I exist if that makes sense.

Yeah. So I'm not really worried about like angles or fixing myself as like just existing. Yeah. And I think like the first time that you're doing a show like this, everything that you decide to share or that you decide to show is a decision. Yes. Whereas now that you've been on a few seasons, it's like those boundaries are kind of already established. It's like, okay, like when you're, when the cameras are your house, it's like you and Eddie, you and the kids. Like kind of how you navigate that doesn't really change so much.

It doesn't because at the core of the show is you are showing your real life and there's just a camera that's a fly on the wall. And that's how you're supposed to operate, right? So when you guys see us is us just showing our real lives and there happens to be a camera there. Like I think there was right before the first communion, we were. We're doing the first communion prep with my kids. And we had paper plates. If I was putting on the facade, I'd be like, put the paper plates away. Get the flangeina.

You know? But anyone that has, you know, multiple children, for me at least, between the three standard meals of breakfast, lunch, and dinner, between the galore of snacks that come in between, I'm not doing all these dishes. So you guys are going to get me and you're going to see Wendy in her true form. And that is, okay, we are going to eat this on paper plates. It's so funny that made me think of earlier this season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There was a scene where Derreet was having Kyle over and she was serving like reheated pizza on Hermes dinner plates.

And I'm like, you know what? I believe that that is how Dorit serves cold pizza. Yes, yes, yes. That is her. With me, if you are 13 and under and you come to the Ocephal household, you'll be greeted. with paper plates. If you are older, I will consider pulling out my Tiffany's China, you know, my heirlooms for you, maybe.

Right. But no, you will not put ketchup or Polynesian sauce on my china. We will do that on paper plates. Do you feel like your kids obviously are, you have young kids and, you know, they're getting older. Now that you've been on the show for four seasons, there is kind of that journey on the show. do you feel like any different about kind of sharing your home life as your kids, you know, progress in age?

You know, what I have done since I started, especially for my boys, because my daughter came on the show and she was like, what, three months, two months? It's still wild to think about it. And now she runs the house, like completely. But I always say before we start filming, do you guys want to be on camera today? only because, you know, I really want to respect my children and their boundaries. Just because I want to be on TV, doesn't mean they want to be on TV, right? Like, that has to be fair to them.

So I always do that with every single time the cameras are in our house. But they're at the age where even though the cameras are there, they're in their own world in the sense of video games and fighting each other and all of that stuff. I think that probably once they start to develop more, it'll be a more conscious effort. Let's say they're going through like puberty and things like that. Like, I don't know if I, you know, I would leave that really up to them to say like, what are we doing here? But I have not gotten to that point yet. And I'm really excited.

I only have like two more years from my oldest. But right now I'm relishing in them just being like children, children. Yeah. I love seeing one of my favorite things about housewives is seeing everybody's kids. at different stages and everybody's, you know, different relationships and dealing with things with parents and family members. Like that, everybody is a different situation. And I think it's so cool to see how everybody navigates those things.

Yeah. It's really something for me that has been one of my happier moments because I'm not a scrapbooker. I don't put together scrapbooks of, you know, this is you when you took your, I don't have that. And to some extent, I feel like the show has done a good job documenting and providing like artifacts, so to speak, that my children can look at and say, hey, Cameron, that's you when you were in a swing. Look at you now. And so I do enjoy that. Outside of all the drama, the ability to see my kids through different lenses, even now, what's funny is even now watching season eight and watching them, they don't look like that now.

They've grown so much. Like, that's how fast that happens. And so they're watching themselves and they're like, who is that? And I'm like, that's you. I feel like I really noticed that with Robin's boys too because they're kind of in that age where it's like they're they're like becoming little young men. It's like, my boys are like my oldest is 10 and it's like yesterday he stood up and we were eye to eye. And I'm like, what? Like when.

Right. Sit down now. Like when did this happen? Like we were eye to eye. And it's just, yeah, motherhood is like. like my favorite thing. Mm-hmm. So good, so good.

Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom Rack stores now and up to 60% off. Stock up and save on the brands you love like Vince, Sam Edelman, Frame, and Free People. Join the Norty Club to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more.

Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. Good sleep is everything. That's why Ali's sign. back support is made with a blend of melatonin and L-D-A-N-E for both kiddos and grown-ups. So when your mind won't switch off, you've got something that can help.

Erasing thoughts and restless nights won't stand a chance. Find Ollie Sleep Solutions for the whole family at ollie.com. That's OLL-L-Y.com. So your cast this season, it's a big cast. There's a lot of you. It's eight housewives. Is that unprecedented? I think there's like, like New Year's.

York one season had eight. I think Beverly Hills one season had eight. But you're kind of like at the capacity. Hello. What does that mean for the people? Do you feel so the cat, I mean, since you joined the show, it's like the cast has gotten bigger. Yeah. Do you feel like it's more difficult to navigate kind of your individual relationships with everyone as the group has grown? Or do you think that you kind of deal with everything on its own level and it's just kind of all, you know, in there somewhere. I, you know, it's interesting. I think that we should all be able to navigate our differences and relationships within a group, even if it's eight women. I think when it becomes challenging is when you see the tag team of it, meaning if one person has an issue with someone else,

let them have their issue, let them talk about their issue. It's the peanut gallery that chimes in that makes it like, okay, this is unattentable, like this can't work. Because if the numbers are not on your side, you have to, in a sense, decide, am I drowning out the noise? Am I responding to the other noise? Or am I just focusing on the issue I have with this one person? That's when it becomes complicated, is when the other women who may not necessarily have a stake

in the issue that's being discussed, start to chime in. Like, stop chirping. Be quiet. Let people handle their issues. It's interesting. Now that, because you've been on the show for four years now, you have kind of this history and trajectory with the women who have been on the cast with you. And so looking back, it is kind of, it's like you're at that point now where it's like,

okay, things have really evolved. And I'm curious, do you feel like? That's something that you are, do you have like any regrets or things that you think about like, oh, I wish this had panned out differently or I wish we were at a different place. Because obviously like your relationship with Giselle, for example, it's like it started one place and it's in a different place now. Like how do you kind of process those shifts? You know, so I live my life with no regrets.

I'm a firm believer in what is meant to be will be. But I also feel as though to some extent what you're seeing is. is like the natural genesis and natural cycle to some extent of any relationship, right? Like I feel like you have your highs and you have your really, really lows. And only time will tell if you guys ever get back to a high. So you guys witnessed us be friends. You guys are witnessing us not being friends. And the only time will tell if we'll ever get back to being friends again.

It's like a journey. But as far as where we are right now, I'm okay with it. because in this group, I feel like there's a certain dynamic that Potomac possesses, and that dynamic is you have the people who attack, and then you have the people who respond. There's people who attack, first attackers, as I call them, and then you have responders. First responders.

So I say that to say, shout out to all the first responders. Thank you for all you do. We appreciate you. But the reason I say that is you cannot expect people, to sit dormant if they are being attacked, if their family's being attacked, if their livelihood is being attacked,

they're eventually going to have a knee-jerk reaction. And whatever that need-druck reaction is, you have to sit in it because you were the first attacker. And that's not to take away responsibility or accountability from either party, but we also have to be true

to the series of events and how it happened. I'll say that, send you over there. I think maybe it's the idea of like an attacker versus a responder. I think it's interesting because every, every relationship on the cast is a little different. And I think thinking about like everything that's going on with Robin this season, I actually think that it's almost like people wish she would get a little more heated and kind of like bring that response energy a little more.

because when people are talking about, you know, all the rumors and things that are happening in the press. And for the response to just be like, I don't care. Let's stop talking about it. It feels like, I don't know if it's like, you know, not the authentic level or it just is like confusing. Like what is it like kind of navigating that when you're there in person versus watching the show? It's challenging because she has been one who has had opinions on it. a lot of things with women in this group. Whether that was before I came on, she was opinionated with Karen and Ray and their tax issues. Whether that's while I was on. She said her opinions about me and my plastic surgery. She said that she felt I didn't have substance anymore. And she thought

that the root of my plastic surgery was because of these fake rumors that were going out there by my husband. She had opinions with, you know, Candace and Chris. So she's always had opinions. And so this whole defense mechanism that she's putting up or the whole we're trying to villainize her is really weird because it's like you've been at the, again, to use my knowledge, you've been at the front lines of having your opinions about us and now that the roles are reversed is changed. And then the whole I don't care about it all,

I mean, a part of me believes that she does it, if I could be honest with you, because you're not going to show me a hotel receipt that you signed and I'm going to be like, yeah, that was dumb. No, no, no, we have to get deeper. You saw, so you left your house and signed this hotel receipt, but you said the woman was there to visit someone else? Why didn't she call the person who she came to visit to sign the hotel receipt?

The million dollar question. I mean, it's just, I would have loved to see her. her thing through this in the way I feel like anybody would. Right. I think watching the show and watching all of you kind of process it in real time, it's like

to say like, oh, like I don't, I don't care to see the text. Also the text got deleted. He deleted his phone all the time. It's like, I think everyone watching the show and all of you in the room are, it doesn't make sense to anyone. And it's not even like a team

Robin or team whoever. It's like a Team common sense. It's team common sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel like, obviously, Candice has maybe been the most sort of outspoken in terms of her difficulties with everything that has been happening with Robin. But do you feel like it is challenging to kind of be on a level with everyone in the group when there is a situation like that, that it doesn't feel like there's that kind of like common sense level happening?

You know, it is challenging. I'll be honest with you because I feel like it's a level of willful intellectual dishonesty. That's what I feel. I feel like it's not like, oh, it is what it is. I feel like it is a concerted effort to be willfully ignorant. And that is bothersome. However, once you realize that that's what it is for me, I don't care.

And I said that in, you know, the most recent episode, I don't care. If he cheats with someone in Canada, if he cheats with someone in Nigeria, I don't care. Because if she's happy and if she's okay, then I'm okay. Why will I be more upset about what your husband does than you who is his wife? I don't care. That's me. Other women in the group don't take that position. But for me, that's my position.

I don't care. Girl, go ahead. You have your own things to worry about. Listen, I have a four-year-old who is. is literally the boss of my house. I have to handle a mini diva. I care about that. I don't care about what's going on in your house.

If you don't want to share, if you don't want to lean on me, have it your way. Yeah. So coming into this season, NECA is new to the group. And you and her have not gotten off to the best start.

I think it's fair to say. Can you talk to me a little bit about in those early days of filming for the season, when this was sort of starting to come to the surface, what was that like to sort of realize that this was the energy that you were being faced with? It's interesting because I literally came into this season saying, I'm going to have fun this season. I'm going to just enjoy it.

I'm tired of the drama. You guys experience with me, everything that happened in Miami, you know? So I was like, I'm just going to have a good season. So it was disheartening to come into this season knowing that we had someone who was coming in with a pre-planned agenda. And I really didn't want to engage with it, if I could be very honest with you. I did not want to engage with it because I felt as though the conversation and the topics in which we were talking about were very sensitive. And as someone who came into this franchise came into the Housewives universe as the first Nigerian housewife in Bravo TV history, I have always loved, upheld, and just put on a pedestal my Nigerian heritage. And to have these terms that are being weaponized and these terms that are really xenophobic, if I could be very honest with you, spewed amongst this.

group was hurtful. And that's why I didn't want to engage in it because this isn't drama, petty drama. This isn't, as we like to call it, light shade. This isn't that. We're not talking about, oh, your toe stings, your hair stinks, your husband's cheek. We're not talking about those things that you have seen historically and housewives. We're talking about things that can marginalize, isolate a group of people and can hurt them. And from the response of Africans and Nigerians who watched this show and how just hurt and disappointed they were in her for talking about these topics and weaponizing them, especially to an audience who doesn't understand the gravity or magnitude of it. It was wrong and it's still wrong. And in our culture,

just to crystallize this, in our culture, calling someone a witch is the highest form of disrespect and dangerous. It's not just a curse word. It can cost that person so much. To some extent, some people can't even say could cost them their life. That's how charged the language was. And that's why it was not something

that I wanted to entertain or something that I felt was appropriate within this group. Yeah, I think I hear everything. you're saying. And I think the entire time you've been on the show, I really have loved the way that you share your heritage and your culture. And I think that's something that when shows like this have those kind of cultural elements and kind of those different backgrounds, it makes everything more interesting and richer. And, you know, it's a great way to be exposed to things that are

different from your own experience. And I think that it's tricky because when you have something like that, like you're saying it's so charged. It's, it's maybe like a time and place kind of thing, too, where it's like, if not everybody, you know, like, sweet Ashley is like, oh, she said, she said something about this. Like, I don't really know what that means, but like, when people aren't equipped to have a certain conversation. Yes. And then it's like, okay, I googled this and it sounds scary and, you know, I don't know what's happening. And then you have everybody watching the show who's like also on the same, you know, journey of cluelessness maybe. It's like, it's tough because something that could be a really positive moment,

you know, like having two Nigerian women on the show together, like, could, in theory, could have been something exciting. So exciting. It would have been amazing. Yeah. I always say, you know, hope Andy's listening. I always say I want to take the girls to Nigeria for a cast trip. I think that would be so amazing for us just to go to Nigeria, see the culture, take you guys

to. my father's house like just amazing things and i was it's just it's just really disheartening because i say that to say as someone who comes from a demographic who is not often seen on tv there's so little of us and then to have this infighting it's just so heartbreaking that's not we we come from a proud people but we also come from a people who've had a history that hasn't been easy for us. And to make end roads where we are on this platform is something that we should applaud and we should unify and to see the ways in which that didn't happen. Spoiler alert. And it continues not to happen. Right? I don't know if it's a huge spoiler. And it continues not to happen.

Yeah. It's just, it's just, you know, oh my goodness. Oh, yeah. Study. And play. Come together on a Windows 11 PC. For a limited time, college students get The best of both worlds. Get the Unreal College deal, everything you need to study and play with select Windows 11 PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 premium and a year of Xbox GamePass Ultimate

with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more at Windows.com slash student offer. While supplies last, ends June 30th, turns at AKA.m.S. slash college PC. Ready to soundtrack your summer? With Red Bull Summer All Day Play, you choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end DJ, a road dog, or a trail mixer?

Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit redbull.com slash bright summer ahead to learn more. See you this summer. So you, when you were talking about Giselle, you were saying how it's, you know, never say never. You don't know where the story is going to go. do you feel like with NECA maybe there wasn't enough of a foundation to really have that journey?

Or do you still feel like never say never the story is not over? And Dylan, that question shows you're such a housewives watcher because you just nailed it and crystallized it. In order for there to be a comeback, there has to have been something, a foundation, right? Like we started here, we fell out. Maybe we could, but there's always a maybe. Like even if you look at Karen and Giselle, they were times where they were at odds and just to see how they are now. Robin's pie will be unthought on some days. That's what I'm saying.

Robbins pie be unthought. Like even if you see Robin and Ashley, where they are is not where they started. But there has to be a foundation. And that's what's missing. There was never that. It was the initial out-the-gate guns ablazing, and then it wasn't just guns of blazing with soft shade or light shade. It's things that can harm my mother.

And the accusations are also things, this is how deep out culture is, things that can harm my children. That's how deep those accusations are. They just don't rest with my mom. Because a Nigerian culture is all about family. So if one person in your family is accused of something, that trickles down to everyone else. Those are the elements that the cultural nuances and elements of this that I think viewers are missing is like, no, it's not just her mom.

She's also talking about her kids because if she says that that's what their grandmother is, then what does that mean for the kids. Right. Like especially in a culture that values family so strongly, there is no kind of separation like that. There's no separation of church and state in Nigerian culture. When you get married, they don't marry you. They marry the family. And it's this whole conversation of, well, what's the family background and all of this and that? And so it's a lot.

It's heavy. It's very heavy. So I think you have the answer to your question. I will say this Austin trip, it's an interesting. I love when a group is sort of taken out of their normal habitat and brought somewhere else. that first night at dinner when y'all were talking about sex oh my god these women it was it felt like for just a few minutes everybody was dialed in having a great time it was silly it was it was wild so much fun

I love seeing that energy in the group it was fun that's and I'm glad I kicked in the door with the first question I'm so glad because they were having their little like side conversations I was like no let's bring this to the group Right. One minute, Candice looks horrified. Next minute. I let somebody pee on me. I'm like, Candice, what is happening? It was a lot, but it was a lot in a good way.

And it was funny and we enjoyed it and we were all laughing. And those are the moments with this group that I really enjoy. And I just like sit back and I'm like, you know, even though we have all differences, this is when we get to have fun. And no one is ignoring each other. We're like all like just having fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I love it. Knowing that this season has been a little bit heavier in some ways, how are you thinking about going into reunion? Are you like, do you feel like there's kind of a weight on you? Or are you just kind of like, let me go in and do what I need to do? There's no, for me, honestly, I'm going into the reunion and I'm just like, okay, let's, let's see what this is. Like, I don't, I really, the only thing I prepare for the reunion is my, my, my, my,

fashions. Okay. Other than that, other than that, I'm just like, let's go in, let's see what they give, and let's go from there. Totally. Like it is what it is. I'm curious, zooming out a little bit, like we said, you've been on the show four seasons now.

How do you feel like this experience of doing reality TV has changed you as a person, if at all? I think it has changed me because, like you said, it gives me a third person view of me. You know, like little things that you do that you don't know this or things that you say. I always love when people who watch our show do like the reenactments of us. Like you know how sometimes they used to do that with like the Kardashians? Somebody did. And then they're doing the salad. And like as a viewer, you're like, yes, they're always eating their salad like that.

I can't remember. Somebody on TikTok did. It was like after the premiere, they did every single person in the cast. And I was like, that is shocking. That is what I'm talking about. And when I was watching it, I remember I was texting with someone. And I was texting with someone else. I don't know who was.

I want to say, maybe was it, Candace. And I was like, is this how I am? And she said, yes. And it was so weird because I never, you know, you have this voice all your life. I never knew what my cadence was or the way I talk and the way I, duh. And I never knew that. And I'm watching this person. I'm like, who's this weirdo?

And the weirdo is me. totally yeah i think that's amazing and i mean you you always have so much going on and it's it's been fun to see your your journey over the last few years oh thank you thank you for um riding with me and thank you guys for being flies on the wall of wendy finding herself because i know you guys like oh god another business wendy but it's like i'm giving you guys my real life you know i feel like I have lived so much of my life from my mom and getting all of my degrees and doing stuff for her that after I had my final child in my head, I was like, I want to just explore life and see different things. And you guys have been on that journey with me and just seeing what Wendy's up to. But I think

this talk show is like my lane. Like I think I found it. Like this is it. I love that for you. Yeah. The Dr. Wendy show. It's like I'm having fun. And for Wendy, the fact that I'm still having fun, that's a big, like, thumbs up. That's a big sign for me. Well, hopefully some fun moments in the rest of the season along with the tough ones. There are. You guys are going to see lots of fun moments. There's more. Amazing. Wendy, thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for having me. Of course. And thank you everyone for listening. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow the show wherever you listen. And until next time, be cool. Don't be all like uncool. Mentioned at all is produced by Dylan

Hafer, Sean Kilby, Jorge Morales Pico and Rebecca Sous McCat. Editing by Jorge Morales Social media by Dylan Hafer, guest booking by Dylan Hafer and Ali Friedlander. Be sure to follow at Bravo by Betches on Instagram and Twitter. Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars. Catch the Jonas Brothers return to the Yamava Theater stage on April 30th, the powerful vocals of Demi Lovato on May 17th, and the signature Southern Country Rock of Eric Church on July 19th. Tickets on sale now at Yamavatheater.com.

only a Yamaava resort and casino, celebrating its 40th anniversary. U-N. must be 21 to enter. Betches.