MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - 2 Genders, 5 Senses w/ Laci Mosley

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

This week Syd and Marie are joined by friend and fellow podcasting GODDESS — Laci Mosley! The three chat Social Media MESS, Birthday MESS, Airbnb MESS, read your MESS and more. Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description oh you're listening to mess all right oh girl i i barely made it here at the the hairs on my chinny chin chin i'm not even gonna lie to y'all you did it though you look fabulous thank you thank you um we're in LA and Hollywood yeah Hollywood and Marie I just can't get over your hair it just looks so damn good so good um thank you you know I'm doing something different uh I didn't want knotless I didn't want the stuff that I've been doing you know I got I have a short attention span so I feel like whatever's the hairstyle I have for a few weeks the next one after

it has to be the complete opposite of what it was and I just took the mushroom cut down so I'm obsessed I love the mushroom cut

but I love this too it's giving me like Bronner Brothers oh right hair show yes giving hair show yes

BAPS I do feel like BAPS yeah I do feel like rated BAPS yeah I just want to apologize up top

you know my mess was this lateness this was crazy I forgot that LA traffic is is mess too

yes you forgot i didn't forget but it was just like you know last night i i ended up watching tv because i haven't watched in a long time and so i stayed up kind of late and then i woke up late so it was just one of those domino effects what were you looking at right what were you watching funny as fuck oh on netflix uh um kevin hart's thing with like all of our friends are in it so i was like let me support oh yeah and it was really cute i was like oh see this is a competition show that is not mess i would i would if i had better structured jokes i would be on a show like that i don't think i could do it you don't want to do a comedy fight no a little he he battle i don't believe i have it in me i was talking to one of the girls on the show she said

it's the hardest thing she's ever done as a comic what she said it's like preparing a bunch of late night sets every episode oh yeah your tightest five and i got tightest five the tightest thing i got what's tight the braids is it the braids okay okay sometimes it's the unit okay but it's the winner of the competition gets uh a netflix special so imagine you gotta save your your jokes for the special but you also gotta be funny as fuck on the show yes ma'am and you don't want to use your special jokes for the show jokes but i think people are because a lot of people's um jokes i've heard them before okay so it's these are not okay but you're in the scene though so there's you would see and hear these before no that's

stuff that they've posted they posted online too but the thing about the algorithm now is you can post something online and like I don't I used to be so precious with stuff and now I'm like Instagram is so mad they can't make a coin off of us that they're like we're gonna hide all your stuff you'll never see your friends who do you follow we don't care look at this ad Instagram is not Instagram is not letting me monetize my videos no more I used to be able to monetize them they would do well I think I would get like a little microscopic check nothing is they got jealous because you popping they got jealous their Instagram is like the middleman pimp and they waiting out the door trying to get their money off the dresser too hey mark zuck

send me my money well send me my 17 cents the thing is is that people were making money on tt as well and i heard they're scaling back as on that as well so it's all everybody's making money on youtube again which is a longer form uh situation and it's like can you retain people for 30 minutes an hour can you do that well youtube is the new television right because YouTube is the new Netflix. Because YouTube was like, we got to put hella commercials in here for soap and make you think you got a disease. So we need to know. Hims, hers, Sandy Hook.

Those are the commercials. I'd be like, oh, my God. Or it's like, are you dyslexic? Are you illiterate? Well, sign up for these courses online. Oh, Grammarly? Yes. Grammarly, which I fell into it and I started paying and then I never used it.

What do you use Grammarly for? No, it's not Grammarly, but it's supposed to be a program to help you talk better or speak better. A program? Yes. Oh, you at RTT Tech? No! Wait, let me show you. Hold on, hold on, wait.

She at Everest? That's right. She got up on her couch. It's not community college, bitch. She's on your couch. She's on your couch. It's called Rise Guide. I've never heard of this.

I've never heard of that. Rise Guide sounds like a sex thing. Right. Hey, girl, you want to know what Rise is? Look, look, look, hold on. You want to know how to rise these guys? Unlock communication mastery plan. It's practical techniques, voice, body language, storytelling, and more.

Girl, this is white people duolingo. This is duolingo for English. How much that cost them? Oh, too much. Too much. How much that cost? But they got me at 4 a.m. I said, you know what?

I do say um a lot. I do say, I'm always thinking about the next thing I'm about to say. Not the Pygmalion app. They said they're going to show you how to posture too. They're like, people will listen to you more if you sound like you know what you're talking about. And this might be a scam. Might be. Might be.

But I'll find out. I'll let you know when I actually use it. How much does it cost a month, sis? Babe, I don't know. It's got to be like $14.99. Listen, no, it's more than that. It's definitely more than that. It's more than that.

Yeah, I think I paid for like seven weeks and it might be $75. dollars now so the mess is the being able to tap at any hour i think at a certain hour like after you know 1 to 6 a.m no more tapping no more just you know clicking and being able to purchase stuff because that's when i'm doing damage that is mess i don't want to be able to make phone calls either i think my phone needs to turn into sos mode where i can only call the police after 2 a.m Girl, who are you going to be calling after 2 a.m.? You going to rise, guys? If you're listening, you know, we have a guest in the building, Lacey Mosley, Scam Goddass.

Scam Goddass. Actually, you hate when we say it. Why? You always want to say it like Hot Pockets. It is. Scam Goddass. No, it's not. Scam Goddass.

That's not it. Scam goddess. Robbery. Okay. I'm going to just let y'all. No, keep going. Do it how you do it. Yeah, do it, do it, do it.

These remixes are crazy. Do it, do it, do it. Scams cause robbery. That sounds like Sidney Williams. That's literally. Basically, I did it. That's right, guys. You literally went.

Scam goddess. Okay, Beyonce. I'm doing the runs, babe. I did it the Beyonce way. That's not where they belong, though. She doing the bridge, baby. I did, I did. The bridge.

She put the bridge on the hook. Skim. I'm not dealing with this. Skim. I didn't know I came to a roast. No, it's not a roast. It's not a roast. Bitch, we're fans.

What are you talking about? This is a jam session. Hello? You don't want to sing with us. We in the booth. Sis. You an improvisationer. Improvisation.

You really got to lock in right now. Rise Guide. I am the ad for Rise Guide. When you get back in that traffic, head home. Yeah, girl, while you were sitting in that L.A. traffic, you should have been doing your thing. With rising up with the guy. Rise Guide is... Y'all are foolish.

Girl. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. You see what I do for the pod? You do it. You do it. Yeah. Hello.

It's all mess. Yes. Okay. so you know we talk about our mess up top and then we um you know get you in here boom boom zoom zoom marie you got any mess for us um damn the thing that i was gonna say i actually don't want to say why no no no no no nope can you say it and then we edit it and then you if it makes sense nope because the other mess is we'll tell them to edit stuff on this here podcast and then it'd be right in the pocket guys that's mess you have to we'll be like bleep out the name and then

people will be messing in the comments like ooh Emily name still in there yeah mess mess mess

y'all not editing out people's names not y'all producers added to the mess exactly they're inspired by you producers are mess mess yeah

they're inspired okay so I'm afraid to say my mess okay because the mess is about

yeah I don't know I think I gotta wait and talk about this somewhere else what you whisper your mess to me and then I'll tell you it was about

okay telephone Hey, what do y'all think about, well, both of y'all are not, well, you're bisexual. She's bisexual. Bisexual. Sexual. Bisexual.

Sing it like Michael Jackson. Sexual. You're in the key of human nature, okay? okay so as a as a lesbian right a lot of it is in the mind but you think because sometimes you'll have you know you have sex with the strap and so it's not attached yeah to yeah you know the body yeah but how does it stay on it's a belt it's just it's like a the strap is the harness yeah and so a lot of people think they're like oh well the girl who's giving the the who's using the strap doesn't feel it but that's not true because a lot of things are visual yeah you know

and so yes but visual is a different sense than feel that's no see you're Sometimes you can see something that really turns you on. No, no, no. Gay, straight, bi, whatever. It's five senses. Touch, taste, smell, hear it. Marie said there's two genders and five senses. Two genders, five senses.

That's the title of the episode right there. She's like, it's sight, but also touch. It's not touch. It's sight and mental. What? Y'all have to run the tape back. Because what Sidney just said and what, like, okay, go ahead. No, no, no.

So even though it is not attached to the body, the visual and the mental of being like, I'm doing the motion, I feel, you do feel it. Yeah. It's a turn on. It's a turn on. Yeah. And so there's some things that, you know, the person who's giving the strap might want, that you're like, this don't make no damn sense. Like oral? Yes.

Like sucking, yeah. Yeah. Do you think that's my, I think. I think that is fascinating. Have I done it? Sure, yes. Okay. I'm really into it, yeah.

Mm-hmm. You're it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I was dating a girl, and her strap, or, like, her, like, strap, like, the penis, like, was mine because you're not, that's bad for him to, like, dig somebody's way. Oh, you're providing the strap. It's BYO strap. No, no, no, no, no.

They bringing the strap, but they bringing me a new one in the plastic, like, a new dick in the plastic because I don't believe in boiling dicks and da-da-da-da-da. Boiling dicks. This one's mine. Yes. This one's mine. And nobody else's. You should only be boiling the dick if it's still attached to the body. That's true.

Those are the ones that be the most sterilized. That one right there. Put it in the dishwasher, babe. Yeah. Listen, you're rinsing it. You need to put it in one of those things, in the nail salon, where you have to put the tools. Or a Barbasol. Or UV.

Oh, you're talking about that little fridge. Yes, the Barbasol. Yes, that solution as well. there's so many things to clean you know the utensils i think i'm not being serious with because you don't want that in your cootie but um but but yeah but like a like the uv lights yeah but the boiling and stuff like that works but i feel like that's intermittent use but it's still yours it's not boiling from one is there like a you know how like there's like a tim cleaner this oh yeah i'm sure is there a a dick a strap yes there is yes but but the in order to

make sure that it's completely clean. Boiling the dick is the most important. What pot y'all boiling these dicks in? There is a pot that's specific for the dicks, but you know, some people are messy and they don't have a lot of pots and pans. That's messy as hell. But you wouldn't know. The soup pot?

The gumbo pot. Y'all making gumbo in the dick pot? The gumbo pot, yes. There's a gumbo dick pot. I knew that gumbo tasted... What's that? It's like a... It's a family recipe. Miss Tina's gumbo. Yeah, it's mysterious. We ain't telling you

what's all in there. It's microplastics in the gumbo? Just a little bit. But she was like, this particular person was pretty fair skinned, and I don't know why they went and bought a strap that was like, or like a penis that was definitely white. Oh, white. Wait, hold on now.

Now that's mess. I used to call it mess. Oh. Well, maybe the white one was on sale. Maybe the white one was on sale. Lacey. That one costs more money. Lacey. I'm cutting that out. Okay. No, Lacey, this is what it is. You know when you go to CVS and you want to get hair products

and it's locked behind a glass? The black dicks was locked up and the white dicks was loose. No, at those places, they don't give colored. It's just like purple or yellow or pink. She had a white one. Because she went to the real sex place. Real sex? Yeah.

What's the fake sex place? Why are you buying from there? You know they got... She in? They have vibrators and dildos at... She in. At CVS. at CVS and Walgreens.

You know that? Walgreens? Walgreens? You haven't seen it? You can pick up some penis at Walgreens? Yes, ma'am. Well, I mean,

depending on what you got on, you can pick a penis. Hey, you start ringing the bell. Bing, bing, bing. I know you think I want lashes, but I actually want you. What's up? Is Justin here?

Is Miss Cheryl here, too? I like her as well. Oh, my goodness. I like the way she ring me up. I like the way she ringed me up so yeah so I was explaining

to a friend about you know pleasing a partner partner and that was one of them

and I didn't like how she responded what did she say she was like because she's straight so she didn't get it it's the same as Marie it was like

so why are you doing all of that it's the visual they want to see that you doing it in front of them. I say don't knock it until you tried it.

Exactly. And there's like something about sex for me, I guess this is messy, but like... Sex with me, so amazing. Even though I really

don't be having it. I'm going to start having more sex. Yeah. I believe in you, Lacey. It has to be like one person. I can't have just... Oh, the roster is canceled?

I don't know. I've never really had a roster. I got to trick like one person into loving me. Trick? Yeah. Why is it a trick? It's a little trick because, like, I'm very—y'all know me.

Like, I'm very extra. I talk too much. So it's like I got to be a little demure in the beginning. And that's why you can't be bisexual. You just got to be a lesbian because we like talking. That's true. It's the men that they don't want to hear it. Yes, that's what you like about men so much that you want to keep going back there.

No, it's that they're— Marie, I ask you the same question every day. Well, she got dick at home. Oh, okay. I don't have dick at home. It's more—it's easier to find. like you could throw a rock and hit a man but like

is that specifically how you get them throwing them rocks have you tried Walgreens are you making them unconscious to get them to the house girl not you to Bill Cosby it's a small rock I'm not throwing a boulder at the man

like damn some of them need to be knocked out with a boulder but you know what that's not the discussion we're trying to go down here right now nine times out of ten if I threw a boulder I'd be hitting the right person in this industry for sure oh for sure can you hit clay thompson everybody's trying to hit clay thompson is it thompson or thomas it don't matter it don't matter okay we don't care we do not care we do not care all disrespect on that man's name yes get it all right he played listen

he could claymation claymation they calling him dirt he ain't clay no more they're calling him nice oh yeah he do look like his face doesn't look like pbs call him everything but a child of god that's what we need right now and that was just sad because like sir meg sometimes dates people on the low and we don't know nothing about him so you didn't have to be all up in her instagrams and all up in her social medias and acting like you loved her just to go play listen he had her with his family on thanksgiving that's not giving casual and she was busting down he doing voiceovers for her reels like if you don't like me stay like right like fantasia said if you don't want me then don't talk to me then don't talk to me shout out to amina she always singing

that for us and so i love that if you don't want me then don't talk to me go ahead and free yourself okay so i said my mess so marie you you don't want to say that well your mess is you said something about is it is it okay to suck on the strap oh is it mess yeah that's not a mess that's a part the vibes it's not a mess you don't got to explain it to nobody just do it okay yeah it's not like anybody else is gonna be there like Sidney what you doing sucking on this it's just gonna be you and well God is yours God is there yeah sometimes that freaks me out when people are like you know you have like a big award moment or like something major happens in your life and people be like I just know like your granddaddy is watching down on you right now so proud and I'm like dude does

God open the window up for when you can watch down on people because I don't want my I don't want my relatives watching down on me when i'm like busting it like they see it no they only need to highlight real i feel like god only need to open up the sky when i'm getting an award i got a good report card and then the privacy screen got to go down when when we sucking on the strap like my grandma don't need to see that she's not gonna be proud to be for that you know what maybe she would be maybe your grandma would never have the opportunity to do that and she would have liked the dress. I am my ancestor's wildest dream, baby.

Yeah. No. I want to be their wildest dream, not their wettest dream. Yeah, maybe. You are my ancestor's wettest dream. No. Maybe your grandma would have sucked the strap if she had the opportunity to. You know what? Okay, I did take it too far. I did. okay so we're gonna fast forward right to you lacy what is your mess uh my mess is like this

year i'm about to have another birthday on a birthday my birthday is july 4th like fourth of july see that's what i call it i love that and i usually like throw like a massive party and like really blow it out like last year i had like you could get a free massage and like my Seuss was there for, like, six hours. There was, like, a whole sushi bar. Six hours? Yeah, there was, like, a sushi bar, a barbecue bar. And, like, we had sushi chefs, like, doing all types of tricks and stuff.

And, like, my image was, like, displayed on the side of the building, like, or the house. And there was, like, a pool and, like, you know, games. And, like, it was really, really fun. You know, did you put this on a corporate card? I do write it off. And what I do is I put my books everywhere. Like, I just set my books up. And then my little scam goddess little ass.

I got some cute pictures of people because I'm like, you can bring your kids and like, yes, you can bring your babies. Girl, how are you having this big party and the kids are there? Because it's a day party barbecue. The kids leave around like six, but it's like it ain't a ditty party. They can stay the whole time. We're not doing nothing terrible. You know what I mean? Like we grown folks talking, playing cards.

Nobody's doing no straps coming out, you know, like so I got some cute pictures of like little kids like playing with the merch and stuff. And I was like, yes, sending these straight to my account. And so when I write this off, OK, it's a business. But the only thing that gets sticky with that and messy is like I can only have a certain amount of people at the house. Otherwise, I get charged more money. So then it's like deciding what I'm going to invite, which I have like a like a mansion guy. OK, you have a mansion guy. Yeah.

Wow. If you're watching this right now, you don't have a mansion guy. That's mess. If you at home, if you listen to this right now and you do not have a mansion guy, that's mess. See, I feel like it's worse to have a mansion guy when it's like, if you don't got a mansion, you don't need a mansion guy. Wait till you get you a mansion. So you have two mansions? You got a mansion and a guy?

No, I just have a mansion guy. And the reason I like to use him is because he's always testing out new stuff. So he gives me a discount when he's like, oh, I want to try this new, like, drone or whatever, whatever. Oh, you getting a mansion on the Lolo? Yeah, I'm getting a mansion on the Lolo. Okay, pass it on to your sisters here. What's the going rate, standard rate for a mansion? Oh, my goodness.

She don't want to put that out there. No, I don't want to put that out there. Okay, so range. I don't know, like 10 to 25. Okay. On a birthday? That's with a hookup or that's without a hookup? I'm saying that's the range, but it's like 4th of July also.

This is true. And it's a cookout. I forgot about that. And one time I had a, like I did an Airbnb and it got messy as fuck because the old guy who I did the Airbnb from for my birthday, I booked it so far in advance that he forgot to raise the price, like the price gouge for the 4th of July. so this motherfucker trying to cancel

because he mad now because he knows I'm throwing this event at his place on the 14th of July we do a walkthrough do all this stuff he knows where the DJ

is going to be all this this old nasty man got me kicked off of Airbnb he was racist as hell he was standing at the door with a clicker

counting people coming in my cousin Eric shout out to the cousins he was in the front like you know welcoming people in and being like the photo booth's over there

the food's over there you know the pool the towels whatever you need the man was at the Airbnb that shouldn't be allowed he was so old and nasty and he had those kind of feet

like where I don't understand why people put their feet out when they got this kind of foot because it was like where his toes Hey, watch your mouth. No, he had a The bunion was all the way over to his side.

No, I'm not even talking about the physical aspects because you can't control if you got a bunion or you know, you got a bunion. You can't control if you got a garnet on your feet. You can't control that.

I'm talking about like the toenails were like this weird shade. You remember them Tenactic commercials or them commercials where the little, the yellow guy would jump out the toe and be like was it mucinex

no it's like a he lifts the toe like a hood and he slides in the knee he lifts it like the hood of the car the toenail has a fungus yeah

I don't know what it is it was like that but he had them out he had them out in the oh my gosh the party's gotta breathe sis you can't

and they wasn't cut they wasn't trimmed no they wasn't trimmed or nothing he didn't try to put no tenacum on or nothing it was terrible he might have gout

and he was like drinking the beers eating the food wait he's a guest at your party counting what's going on at the party? To the point where my cousin would greet people

and be like, welcome to Fourth of July. See, like, here's where everything is. And also that old nasty white man, Lacey's not sleeping with him. We don't know him. But that was like the standard greeting. This is not her sugar daddy. She don't know him.

Well, sis, maybe if you had slept with him, he would have left the party. And you would have had more people. Instead of sucking on his trap, you got to suck on them toes. Okay, what's messier? What's worse? What's worse?

what do you mean what's worse sucking on a strap or sucking on a toe sucking on a toe but what if it's not your strap okay that's they're both gross that was homophobic just want to let you know no it's not because where has it been if it's not mine as many things you didn't have that you don't know where it's been not you not not like that not you not you i'm talking about no no no no no wait glasses off What next, Cindy? You going to pick that cup up and throw it in my face? It got real, real hot swabs.

It did get real hot swabs. That's heterophobic. Some of us be putting stuff in places that we didn't really think it was going to go that day. I don't know. I'm sorry. I apologize. How can I make this right? Oh, my goodness.

That felt like a Tyler Perry scene. It really was. My wig shifted. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She said that and my glasses went like this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to do that to you. Now I got to give my monologue. Yeah, that was really, you and the confessional. She used to put makeup on me. Girl, that's the clip right there. We sending that to Mr. Perry. Okay. All right.

So he was there at the party. He's not inviting. He's trying to get you kicked off of Airbnb. Yes. And then what? So eventually, like, we end up having to shut the party down. Well, no. so one embarrassing as hell when we got to a certain number he was like trying to shut the

party down and i was like okay what's the number so i don't remember the exact number but it was like no no no it was less than that but so it got to a point where shout out to my dj this was so messy like i threw a seven hour party i'm thinking it's the fourth of july nobody's gonna stay at the party the whole seven hours yes but when you provide like no this was different that that was last year the one i'm talking about is a few years back so but when you provide limitless food alcohol a dj a pool and the kids games photo booths i was like oh but they gonna leave because like they gotta go to other parties when i tell you everybody stayed to the point where my dj had to be like hey y'all we got a long line outside of people waiting to see lacy so if you've been

here since the beginning if you gotta go if you could just go ahead and there was a line of people outside when it comes it's into the party yes it was like the club yeah well because the thing is that la you don't hop around in la you you post up no you can't because one place is you know in the hills the next is in west hollywood that's like an hour drive but on a holiday if i don't have to go nowhere that that long i'm staying the whole time see but on the holiday is different though because it's like you're trying to get to all the functions like that you got going on but Every function after yours is not going to add up to yours. So why would I leave here?

I'm already here. I'm going to take a nap. I don't have to go relieve the sitter. The baby is here. Yeah. Yeah. Why would I lose if I already chose? Right.

Plus, you're trying to figure out what this old man is about to do. Is he the stripper? Like, now I can't leave. I live at this Airbnb, babe. Oh, my goodness. Well, I underestimated it. And so that was, like, one of the most embarrassing party moments for me is having to, like, kick friends out. Like, my DJ be like, hey, y'all, so some of y'all got to go so we can get some more people in.

So how did y'all decide who left? Or did people just be like, I guess I'll— People started to, like, voluntarily, you know, be like, oh, we have been here for five hours. Like, we can— That is OD, though. Because it's like—and especially if—do they bring gifts? Yeah, I think— Okay, because I think that's mess.

If I brought a gift and you kicking me out, I'm taking my gift. Yeah, no, if you brought a gift, I feel like you should just have the entitlement to not move. Yeah, I'm staying. Like tell you to move in a crowded area and you just be like, I think if you want to leave your birthday party, you got to do like Delta Airlines and be like, hi, we overbooked the flight. We giving away money for the people who. How much? A hundred dollars. I got to give away money to my birthday party.

No, no, no, no. I like the Delta thing, though. Maybe if it's like, oh, are you gold, diamond plus Lacey Elite? If you go to the last three parties, then you can stay. Show a show a photo that you took of Lacey. And if you like it, you can stay. it's a bad photo you gotta go

if you can show a party show a picture from the last three parties each one gets you a status you know what I mean yes you need a punch card yeah

yes because there's some people who go every year and they deserve they deserve yeah they need to be in first if you kick me out

and I didn't come to the last five for the Julaces oh bitch just know that I'm not talking about that after that I learned my lesson so I had a guest list

I didn't work with that guy anymore obviously because he got me kicked off Airbnb he threatened me he was like if you don't leave me a good review

then I'm gonna leave a bad review and so he left me a bad review because I left no review and so then Airbnb kicked me off

so you didn't even get to leave a bad review for him no Lacey you have assistance for that why are you not leaving a review

because I didn't want to get kicked off Airbnb and I knew he was going to lie and kick me off if I left a bad review and I didn't want to

lie and leave a good review because I feel like that's not honest for the next person and he was racist too I'm not trying to leave no black person

down that aisle you should have been to leave the review and you should have been leaving the review right there at that moment and it would have gotten him banned

yes get them banned get them banned we don't do that here well maybe he was nervous that I wasn't going to do it so he jumped to it first I don't know

but I reached out to Airbnb online and stuff and they DM'd me they were like the case is closed I was like fuck Airbnb it's fucking Airbnb

all day when I saw that they were starting to lose money when I saw that the stock was plummeting I said see look at God don't mess with God's favors

that's what y'all get Airbnb I hope y'all funky ass go down all the way down everybody stay at hotels why the hell you gonna cosplay

living somewhere where you got to clean up I understand the convenience or the allure of an Airbnb, but it's something really, really nice about staying in a hotel. It is. It's very nice.

I feel like if I'm staying at an Airbnb, now I'm in the handmaid's tale. All of a sudden, I'm locked in the house, constantly surveilled. I don't know where all the cameras are. I feel like there's cameras in the toilets. I think there are. But you got to have cameras

because, first of all, I barely want the people that I know up in my spot. So now I'm just letting anybody, Tom, Dick, and Harry up in my spot, and I'm supposed to trust them? Damn, sis. We see, what? Tom, Dick, and Harry?

Tom, Dick, and Harry in Dim, you know, because there's always a plus, plus, plus. And so I just don't, I just see how people are out in the wild. And you're supposed to let them in your home and believe that they're not going to do, like, the, what's the word? Debauchery? Debauchery? Debauchery? Debauchery? Debauchery?

Debauchery? The movie? Debauchery? Every time I speak, I'm like, I need to get on this Rise Guide. Rise Guide! Rise Guide! yeah no i need to do it but i i just don't know why you would let somebody in your bed i don't know why you would let somebody in your bathroom and it's if they're using your house for

a party all those random outside shoes no but that's the whole point of an airbnb you're not supposed to be in the game if you're not down for the consequences of that right but you also have insurance. Exactly. And there's a cleaning fee. All of that stuff is built into the Airbnb. And even the cleaning fee, like, you have the cleaning fee, but then you still got to clean yourself. Like, why am I getting a list of chores? I'm taking the trash out? I got to take the trash out. I got to take all the shoes off the bed.

I got to get all the towels away. I got to mop the ceiling. I got to, like, what do you mean? Lacey... You got to swiffer the ceiling, sis? Yeah! They be like, and don't forget the baseboards. See, this is why you can't stay at mansions. If you stay at regular people houses, they don't make you do all of that.

But they're also not doing it themselves before you get there. But also, you've got to understand that this is one of their mansions or one of their homes. I feel like anybody who's Airbnb-ing out a mansion, first of all, ghetto, that a ghetto. You need money that bad? You have a mansion. And now you want us to put in? We crowdfunding your mansion. Yeah, but that's pretty much what we're doing.

It's a collection place. It's a rent party. Go fund my mansion. Yeah. So it's like, do you have the money or nah? Because why are you just renting it out to randoms? It's not getting well. Well, some people read their mentions out for movies, commercials, TV.

Yes. Now, that sounds chic because it's like, obviously, the Devil Wears Prada want to be up in my spot. But, you know, Conor's 35th birthday with all of his friends from college is all up in your spot? No. They got their toes out at the pool. Yeah. And then you see their YouTube, their vlogs of them being, ain't that your bathroom? No.

that happened when that's not the look it wasn't i was my first birthday in la and um it wasn't i didn't throw the fourth of july see i went to shamefully i went to the games pool party i know nothing about that man the game the rap game okay sure tell me why so the next day because i'm like you know taking pictures we're turning up everything the next day uh one of my publicists was like ayo that house is like my my husband's a realtor and that house is actually one of his listings and they were not supposed to be there and they were not supposed to be throwing that party and when I tell you that party was huge that's where I got the masseuse idea from he had like a whole tent where you could go and get your feet rubbed or your back rubbed by some company

they had all the food the drinks everybody was running in and outside the house because to find out he was not supposed to be there and that house was listed I mean that's what I'm saying like it's giving like how you are you okay are you doing okay there was a movie a couple years ago called, I want to say, Project X. Yeah. And it was a movie of these kids that threw this crazy-ass house party. And it, like, went viral

and everybody showed up. Anyway, that's what the game did. He went to some random house that he found on Street Easy or Zillow. And I should have known that it wasn't his house because it was the game. And this house was, like, in, like...

It felt like 50 Cent. Yeah, it wasn't... So you're saying he ain't got no money. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Well, he don't get money. this is how we do isn't that his song

yeah but are you turning that on every day are you at the function like hey somebody put on that this is how we do you got the DJ on your phone

it's like play the game play the game we make it move and act a fool all up in the club you know the words though up in that bikini

doors on that escalade but isn't that that's because we grew up on radio we had no choice but to know the words. Now I don't have to know the words unless I'm streaming it.

And I still know the words. Right. But isn't that 50 Cent's song, actually? You started singing it and we just... I feel like the game was somewhere adjacent to it, though. He had a verse, I think.

Yeah, yeah. I think he had a couple of lines. Honestly, if he did, we don't know. But see how far we had to get into one song from, what, 20 years ago? Hate it or love it.

Wait, is that also 50 Cent? I'm gonna shine to my... That's 50 Cent. The game is on that. Yo. Because we didn't... Yeah, because he says, go ahead and interview me.

Yeah, you know, that check wasn't big enough for him to own that mansion in Beverly Hills. This mansion was crazy. And so you went outside alone was like a football field. Oh, like it was huge. The game wasn't putting that together with these with these 50 cent checks. I was able to pay somebody to put together the party like planet. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah.

And plan how to like get in the house. yeah and that's how i feel about people who have birthday dinners or whatever and then they want you to like split the check or whatever it's like you asked us to come here you should be hosting that's one of the messages get it sponsored hold on that's why when i have a birthday dinner i'll be like let me see who can pay for it and i'll keep it intimate yes and invite 12 people that i like that you look that's i don't i think it's mess to have these big celebrations of these people that you're like are you really that close with them to be putting all that money down right do they love you enough like they don't deserve some people don't deserve that's so

shout out to everybody inviting you know people for the culture and for the environment i do that you do that yeah sydney everything sydney's saying she don't do exactly you were like it was mad people and she was like people i do love and are my very close There was people. You didn't need to invite all the people that you invited. Yes, I did. There was people from different eras in my life. There were my Rose Bar girls.

There were my riff-raff girls. There were my comedy girls. You know, she's popular. She's like, you don't need to have these big things. She had a big-ass thing. She's popular. You know, she's popular. No, no.

I'm dropping notes everywhere. These are actual people that I've had multiple conversations with. I've been on the phone with. Not multiple conversations. Conversations with. Girl, I talked to the lady who do my matcha lattes. She deserves to. This is my best friend.

We've had multiple conversations over the years. What's your name again? This is my bestie. What's your name again? You say? Marie, most of those people in that room, you knew. You freaking knew. It's okay to have acquaintances at your birthday.

I think that's fine. I disagree. I think that's a mess. Sydney, you had acquaintances at your birthday. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Name them. You can't even name them.

I can name everybody that was on the list that was there with it. And they are friends of yours. they're friends of yours they're people that I've known for years that I'm very close with I have people in my life that I've known for years

that I can talk to them and it's like not a day has passed but if I don't know your day to day life if I can't tell you what your boss did to piss you off last week

then we're not friends mind you everybody is not getting invited to my birthday party yeah and honestly I will say though

for a birthday dinner where you split the check I'm going to put an age cap on that I will say until just like Obamacare works

till you're 26 and you can no longer be on your parents health insurance you can have a birthday dinner where y'all split the check because the 20s are a struggle now when you get to 27 you need to grow your ass up okay or or tell everybody to bring cash that was one of the things I hated as a waitress and this is kind of messy to say it's so horrible but well when I would have like work I worked at really high-end restaurants and I remember and I'm a black woman obviously I'm coming out as a black woman right now coming out as a black woman you're so brave thank you I didn't tell anybody is really i could not tell i honestly i had a feeling yeah is it your mom or dad that's black it's it's both i never heard i never heard wow that's groundbreaking black mom black dad you

see how we do here i love this you heard it here first exclusive when big parties would come in especially if they would be well girl you already said you black so yeah i was like oh god when i This is going to be black people. I'll be like, oh, this is about to be some mess. It's like 50-11 of y'all. I know y'all going to want to split the check. Everybody going to want me to make their drink strong, but they don't want no extra alcohol. No ice.

Lacey. I didn't eat none of the appetizer. No, we need this PSA in the community because we need to stop doing this shit. Because that's why we get in bad service when we go out and act normal. It's because there's too many of us going out there and acting up. No, no, no, no. As somebody who is also in the service industry, it is an equal opportunity. It's not just us.

It's an equal opportunity. everybody is a fucking mess when they go out. It's not just us. I think the messiest people now, influencers. Yes. Oh, that's because

they want everything for free. And they're going to be cunty about the whole time. Yeah. And then leave a shitty tip. Yes. So it goes, influencers,

then black people. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. We didn't say that. Influencers, then black people. Marie. Then white women. No.

Oh, wait, hold on. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I don't want to get dragged by the black community. Yes, I don't. I made a mistake. And I'm listening.

I'm learning. I'm taking accountability. I want to say this. It's the elders first. Okay. It's senior citizens. Because they're coming and they're very particular.

They're coming to open mouth calls and to completely change the menu. And leave change. And is there an early bird special? Well, I've seen an ad where it's supposed to be, you know, 1999 for if I bring three other friends

that are about to die. Girl, what bar is that at? You know, Denny's. So it goes old people, then influencers. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Or, no, no, no. Friends of influencers. It's always the plus ones. It's plus ones that don't know how to act. And they don't bring nothing to the table, but more madness. So it's senior citizens, plus plus,

then influencers. Then nipple babies. No. I don't know. I would put Nepo Babies with the influencers, honestly. They have to be an influencer-Nepo Baby crossover. Right. Because there's Nepos who, they pay their checks and they do their thing.

But if you're like, see, actually, I feel like Nepos I wouldn't include. Because Nepos grew up rich. Influencers got some followers and now they trying to get a coin. Now, rich people are cheap as hell. But Nepo Babies have a sense of entitlement because of who their parents are. And they don't have no work ethic. So they're just like, I just deserve these things. No, no, no.

But they're putting their card down. They don't care because they have to prove. They have to prove that like, yeah, my dad has this money. Do you know who my dad is? Okay, I'll send y'all some articles about some nipple babies that I read recently that were terrible to service industry people. Oh. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there's some.

This is the best. You ain't got a few names? Whoever, Jude, is it Jude Law? Somebody's, Jude Law's daughter apparently is notoriously terrible to people. So you're on the side of Jude Law's daughter and not on the side. So I'm sorry, you're on the side of a red-haired lady. What's her name? Hot to go.

Hot to go. What? Hot to go lady. Who's that? Red-haired. Chapel? Chapel, yeah. Chapel Rome.

Yeah, Chappelle. Chaperelli. No, don't do that. It's Chapel Rome. You know it. Well, since you're talking about Jude Law's daughter, the thing that I saw was with Jude Law's daughter, like, walking up to Chappelle, but she didn't actually talk to her. She just walked past her and, like, smiled because she was really excited to see her.

And then Chappelle sicked her security on Jude Law's family, not knowing who they were. Jude Law's whole family? Well, so Jude Law is not with the woman that he cheated with and had the baby with no more. She's now married to a very famous Brazilian soccer player. Okay. I did see it for sure. So now the Brazil, they was like, oh, Chappelle, don't come over here no more. All of Brazil.

The little girl. Like, the mayor of Brazil was like, you cannot perform here. because you assaulted this little girl. You sent the security after this little girl because she walked past you and looked at you. But then the security guard came out

and said that Chappell didn't tell him to do that. He said he just did that on his own. Exactly. But also, like, why would he come out and ruin his bag? Well, maybe that's how he secured it.

He was like, I'll take the fall. Right. I'll take it. I would have been like, yeah, I hate to see kids happy. I tripped her, too. And Chappell was like,

no, no. You know, Chappell loved kids. Yeah. I think that's specific. I think that's specific. I heard that Iris, I think that's the daughter name, is not very nice. So, I mean, y'all can Google her. But also, I don't always listen to the people who are like, such and such was mean.

It's like everybody thinks that they're entitled to something. And that's the problem. People walking out of their home thinking like, I deserve people to take photos with me. I deserve people to give me time and talk to me and listen to me and give me instructions. I deserve people to always be super excited to see me no do you know what's going on in the world it's not all about you and sometimes people

have a bad day and I hate that that gets extrapolated to like this person is a bitch and I'm like maybe they were just you don't know what's going on in their life they could have lost a loved one they could have had anything going on and you up in their face with a camera that's not fair but at the same time you signed up for this if you catch me outside

I will take a picture with you and it's always I never get recognized unless I look like shit if I if I'm like bumming it and slumming it hey and I'm like when I'm at Walgreens stealing stuff out the the case is when people are like crazy and I gotta be like no that's not me you're literally over here yeah I'm like who they're never you're never ready you're never ready when the people who are like oh my god you're like you know going through your bag because you're looking for your keys and your cart and you're pulling everything and you're like don't you have a podcast called mess? And I was like, you see it. I'm

always on brand. I'm in the airport crying. Yeah. Scam goddess. Scam goddess. You're in the bathroom taking a number four, five, six, and then you come out and you're like, Sydney? Do I smell Taco Bell? I know you love that.

Oh no. I don't have access to that. You do love Taco Bell. I do. That's funny. okay so i feel like you know birthdays are it is a special moment and people are doing what they do like you but i also think it's a mess that people do a two-in-one like your birthday is on christmas and you want to have a you want to have a party on christmas babe we are going to be with our families on christmas i can't be with you on christmas everybody don't be with their families on christmas that's true but and also that's kind of nice of them to be like oh i'm gonna combine

the holiday and my birthday because most people are actually angry about their birthday falling near christmas because they're like i'm trying to have my birthday on a birthday and have my jesus uh gifts on my jesus gift day i don't like that no no you gotta separate you gotta say you're not you're not doing it to one i'm sorry babe it's not happening it's not happening if your birthday is on christmas right yeah you deserve a birthday gift and a christmas gift that's what you're saying yes that's what you're saying true gifts two gifts don't do it it's not like you was arguing for the other thing yeah i was like you agree so so you agree right so you agree i agree that you i i you deserve two gifts i don't want a two-in-one like i hate when people

do and propose to somebody on their birthday and their birthday is also on Christmas or their birthday is also on New Year's Eve.

No, no, no, no, no. Well, I think proposals y'all need to structure these better. Well, Christmas has always been a traditional proposal time. That one isn't shocking

to me. Yeah. The straight talk of a Christmas proposal. The gift is the ring. Yeah. No. No, the Christmas

the Christmas proposal has always been a thing. You ain't seen them commercials every Christmas there's always like Christmas trees and lights up behind it. Because the commercials that I recognize is the big ass red bow on the car for Christmas.

Well, that one is when y'all been together and you cheated or something. OK, Clay Thompson. Yeah, Clay Thompson. But this one, the only reason I understand a Christmas proposal is because it's one time where you can get everybody together and they've already planned to be together versus trying to get everybody together to watch the proposal on a random Tuesday, you know, in March. Listen, everybody don't have to be at the proposal. They really don't. Everybody doesn't need to be there. I'm tired of that.

All these. And that, that's the most, that. Oh, yeah. Everybody, you not even going to do nothing with that. You don't even have the newest phone. That's a 10. Put it down. Zoomed all the way in.

Everybody. Into the ring. Yeah, the ring. Can I see the ring? They're blocking you. Can we see the ring? They're blocking you from the man that is on his knee because they want to get the shot. Yeah.

Yeah. And you know it's, ooh, ooh, you know it's really messy. You know, this is crazy. When the ring is small and people are like trying to zoom it. Oh, no. Where is it? Where is the ring? That has happened. I saw that on the video, like the girl pulls out her hand and you're like, girl, you can keep that. We didn't need to be all here for that. Oh, you could have done that in between an intimate, you know, little living room situation. That's mess. OK, so the gathering for the proposal should be as as big as the ring is. It's the ring little, the gathering little?

I think we need to stop with the engagement with everybody. Like, just show it off after. Okay. I agree with you there only because if we're going to have, I got to come to the engagement. Then I got to come to the bridal shower. Yes. Then I got to come to the best thread party. Yes.

Then I got to come to the wedding. The rehearsal dinner and then the wedding. And the rehearsal dinner. Yeah. That's five events. And then that's not to mention, that's only the staples, right? Yeah. Like, if you have a, what, post-wedding brunch, people doing that now.

I'm like, when did weddings become, like, the fucking WWE, like, all weekend, all month? Yeah. It's a festival. It's a festival. It's Coachella right now. Yeah, why is your wedding Coachella? Well, because people like being the main character. Yeah.

And for some people, that's the only time that they get to feel like they're the main character. In their lives. Yeah. It's too much. And I wish people would stop acting like that, because that's why y'all get scammed with them wedding prices. It's too much. Because everybody knows, you don't buy this dress because it's the only time in your life where everybody's going to be looking at you. We have to think.

And y'all need to get some thrifted gowns. I see what it is all the time. But also, it's like, first of all, everything is so performative now that people are going out of their way to make things bigger so that, because they know it's going to be online. That's why I want to be proposed to just, you know, on the, you know, coast of, close to Del Sol or something like that. Yeah, just on the coast. Yeah. On a lesbian cruise in Alaska. Yeah.

You know, and cons or something like that. Yeah. It's so simple. More simple. Some casual. Some light. Con. Those people don't know who I am.

South of France. Monaco. Mykonos. Maldives. Lake Como. Turks and Caicos. Not that crazy stuff. And it's just between us.

I know the Eiffel Tower. No, no, no. Oh, no, I hate that. I hate that. Every time I see that, I'm like, aren't y'all tired of that same background? In the middle of the Coliseum. I think to say, aren't y'all tired of that same background kind of leads it to your other point which was that you don't love that everybody's doing it for social media yeah so i'm

kind of like if you want a little cheesy eiffel tower you know it lights up every three hours y'all run over there or not every three hours every 30 minutes and y'all run over there and the lights are up and y'all love that for y'all then i love that for y'all i don't care how many people have done it because it doesn't fucking matter how many people have done it because that's what you want who cares that's what you want but why can't you be more thoughtful it's like why are we going to paris i don't even care about paris maybe you would uh uh somebody who's Gay for Pauline. Maybe they love Emily in Paris.

They love it. They love to see their name in lights. I love that this guy took his fiance to Disney World and he was able to get the Mickey costume and came up and he proposed to her as Mickey. I thought that was. Now, how did Mickey's fingers hold the ring? Because he was because she was obsessed with Disney World or whatever. And you're like, no, you said Disneyland. I was out.

And he paid out the ass for that. Because at Disney World and Disneyland, they have people who are watching. If you try to do a proposal at Disney World or Disneyland without getting it signed off and paying to do it there, they will run in and ruin your shit. You got to pay to propose at Disney. You can't be over there having the most magical time without them. What if I'm in the teacup? We in the teacup. I'm like, hey.

Y'all better try to really... Even then, they might stop the ride. The ring has got to be on a string just in case. They might stop the ride because the mouse gets his cut, okay? You don't go to Disney World and not know about consumerism and capitalism. They have to get their money. They have to get their 25%. But they're going to get it from the drinks, the food, the rides, the nickel and the diamond.

And they were like, we also need your proposal. Hold on. They're Disney adults. They're not really good at making decisions that well. They're bad with money. So, duh. you pay them you know what I mean

because the rent is too damn high for Disney World it's expensive to keep that upkeep so yeah give me give me give me give me

it's like you know people who got the mansion and it's like I gotta rent it out to Airbnb it's like hey the only way I keep money

is if I keep making it but I'm sorry I'm not getting proposed to by a furry a mouse like why are you in a fur suit but that's what she wants

that's what she likes that's what she wanted yeah and more of us need to be okay with what other people want That was a great, that was a great example.

But sometimes what people want is fucking dumb. So that's why we say what we say, what is mess. I think public proposals is mess. Because why does everybody have to be involved with y'all getting together, your union? You know what I mean? Why can't it be just for y'all? For some people, they want the grand gesture. Big is, oh, big is, oh, that's what I want.

the grand gesture is I want to be with you forever that's my grand gesture for you for you for you okay

we know we know you're getting you're going to be on that beach in that private island it's just going to be just y'all on the island off the coast of Capri or whatever

and the only time y'all going to see it is when I'm FaceTiming you're like I'm not I'm not getting a videographer it's not happening but there's other women

especially like think about if you're like in a sorority and you're the last girl in your friend group to get proposed to and you done been a bridesmaid

and never a bride all this time And then, you know, sorority besties, they be bitchy as hell. So they be like, my husband. Oh, yeah. When are you going to get married? We're all rooting for you. Oh, my God.

My ring got stuck on the reformer thing at Pilates and I broke the cord. But like, how long do you think it's going to be? Is he having financial issues? Like, they be trying to act conservative but be a shady. So that girl might want to have her big rock and proposal in front of them heifers. And also, that is mess. These fake communities of, like, womanhood or, like, girls, girl and stuff like that. I want to break down those things.

Men do it, too. They don't be knowing nothing about each other. Yeah, but it's not. I don't think it's fake. It is. I think it's different because men friendships is like we like the same thing, so we do those things together. But I don't actually know anything about this guy. But see, I think they want more.

They just have been trained that that's all that they can have. Sure, sure. Because if they want more, that's gay. Right. They got to burden women with the more. You know your best friend's birthday? That's gay. Yeah. Very gay. Oh, oh. You went to your best friend's funeral? Gay. Homo. Oh, you want to be in a casket with him? Of course you want to die together. Gay. Gay. No, but I think, no, I seriously do believe these, even the like big female groups or what, not female. I hate when it's just like, but like these girl groups were like, we've been together forever and everybody's got to show up for these things.

it's like not everybody can go to all these things and that's okay that does not make them a bad friend you know if it's not in your budget don't go oh but it's like you had a whole year to get your budget together okay stop counting my coins I feel like people need to be better at being like I can't but going back to the birthday dinner thing that we were talking about I apply that to weddings as well one of my biggest pet peeves is when a bride is trying to crowdfund her lavishness for her wedding like what do you mean we're all chipping in for the yacht if you can't afford the yacht like i might do the yacht but like if we're doing a birthday dinner the yacht we flying out we we paying off for the airbnb that we're staying in we're buying dresses we're

getting our hair and our makeup done we're traveling to the wedding to the weddings are mess like it's mess as hell but i'm like how if you can't afford stuff if you can't afford to pay for some of this by yourself, then you can't afford it. Learn how to host. And baby, you need to scale down. Scale down. Learn how to host.

Y'all ain't got no friends with yachts? Get friends with yachts and then use those yachts for your special events. So you're saying you've been friends with these people since college and not one of them got a boat? That's crazy.

You didn't do college right. Change the friend group. Yes. You have to. Now, that's what's wrong with people today. Oh, I love when you put it in the guide. They don't really know

how to network with people with yachts. Yeah, you need a nautical friend. You need a nautical friend. Yeah, but the thing is— I've got friends on land. I need friends on water. Sea friends. Nine times out of ten, though, the person who got the yacht, they might not be a good person.

That's why they got the yacht. Okay, it's giving Dexter. But I digress. You don't have to be a good person on international waters. Oh, Marie. In international waters, you could be shitty. And that's called what? Sex trafficking.

Whoa. Whoa. I thought you were going to say this. Oh, my God. I gotta take it to you I gotta take it there you said that like my name is on the list

this is a true bomb I'm not on the Epstein list no I just gotta throw it out there I thought we was gonna say like twerking or maybe like that's called what

sex trafficking hey shit Chris Hansen does yeah have a seat have a seat we're like oh

I just brought these like I just brought these my car lemonades I just came here to dance I bought cookies no okay wait

we have some Chris Hansen we have some messages that was wild she got us she did she got us together quick I'm sorry

I apologize oh okay one more thing that's messed and this has to tie with the birthdays and everything it's like

everything don't need to be a big to do you know what I mean I think we're doing I think we've lost the plot of a celebration you know i mean we don't need all those big ass letters like happy birthday like how many 69 oh my god i don't need my age and big ass bubble nowhere also you know what's crazy that now they have permanent setups where you can um rent out this place on the grass and

it'll have the huge big light up block letters that say will you marry me no more block letters They don't move the setup. You just wait your time. No. So you get you a little 30 minutes. A little appointment? Yeah, you get you a little appointment, and then you go there. I'm throwing up.

And then you hire a photographer. They take the pictures. I've seen the same backdrop. It's nasty. I hear several engagement photos. I hear everything y'all are saying, but you guys are also forgetting that a lot of people who are using these things is straight couples. A lot of these guys that these girls are dating.

You know the gays are doing it, too. They got to be doing it, too. Sure, but I'm saying a lot of it is people who, you know, they're not creative. But what do you mean we got a proposal car wash? What do you mean? What do you mean? I thought that that is it. I'm going to be sitting there all of a sudden.

I'm going to want me like shit. And they're like, you got five minutes. And it's a line of people over here. There's a producer like this. Proposal car wash. That might be the title of the episode. I like that. Because it's like, it's copy and paste, copy and paste.

Everybody's putting stuff online. So they're like, oh, I want to do that too. It's like, when do we stop being like, what actually does my partner want? or what do I want and plan that out and really use it. When did we stop doing that? Yeah.

2019. 2019. I'm going to say earlier than that. Whenever Instagram really started to pop off and people started becoming influencers.

What year was that? 2010? When did Instagram pop off? 2012? I wouldn't say 2019 because COVID was right there and I know it was popping before. No, it's before that, girl.

It has to be before that. I would say maybe 2015, 2013. I don't know. I feel like 2020, COVID year, a lot of people's brains kind of disintegrated a little bit.

So I feel like it's more now. Oh, it's definitely the anti has upped. Right. Because people were sitting at home scrolling too much and they're like, this is my life now. Yeah, our brains are fried for sure. But I think that we lost in terms of the creativity of actually planning things out. And all we see is people saying, oh, this is cool. And the virality, virality is mass because then it takes away from how cool it used to be.

You know what I mean? I'm going to say this. I feel like the more viral a wedding goes, the more likely it is that the people not together no more. A lot of these couples that have been in whatever magazine and they've been featured in this. You know who I blame for this at the weddings? Do y'all remember way back when? No, I was not alive. Right, I was born yesterday.

That's why I have the skin. No, there was this wedding and they were doing this unintentionally because you could tell it was like maybe filmed on like a camcorder or some type of shit. But everybody who was walking down the aisle, like the bridesmaids and the grooms, they were playing that Beat Em Down Brown song. It's like, I've been waiting my whole life for this one night. Y'all don't remember this? No. And it was like, forever. Yes.

And then everybody came down dancing like, forever, forever, forever. And it went super viral. Wait, did you say Beat Em Down Brown song? Lacey? Because I was like, who sings that? I'm like, let me go on Spotify. what is it beat him is the name called beat him down brown it's chris brown oh girl oh i do remember that okay because i was like i know that song but who sings that yeah but we don't we don't

beat him down brown no yeah no yeah we we we don't do that you know spotify but that was like when and everybody was dancing and like and it went super viral and i think after that people were like we need a viral moment at our wedding well weddings have hashtags now yeah like it's like i'm actually not mad at that because then you can find all the photos because on my birthday i have the hashtag fourth of julecy and then i can click on that you click on that right now and you can see photos from our parties fourth of julecy can people just scale down a little bit the fact that you gotta have a hashtag sitting on new dresses of the peace yeah i am she gonna you know it's giving like the second sex in the city where uh

carrie put on that little white suit and then they meet at the courthouse i'm doing that No, no, no, for sure. It's going to be a small little, the people who need to witness it and all, and then I'll do like a party, but like something cute. But that $100,000, $200,000, $300,000 wedding is not over here, baby. We're going to use that money for something else. What if E! Entertainment decides to pay for it for you? No, I don't want that.

What if Bravo's like, we got it, sis? No, because as soon as that gets in, that messes up the brain cells. we all start thinking oh my god we bigger than the program it's like in order for us to stay together

we need the least amount of eyes on this you know what I mean oh yeah that's what it is the more people more people involved

in your relationships and your weddings and your birth that's when bad things happen it's the evil eye that's true I'm telling you that's why a lot of these couples

that have been featured in these magazines are not together no more that's what I heard I feel like I wouldn't do magazines but definitely my wedding will be a slash corporate event slash corporate

Because you want to write it off. Yes. And also, everybody in the front will be the people that I know and love. And then business associates and reps and agents and managers and stuff. So, the front is the VIP. Yeah. That's the VI. I know you.

Lacey, I feel like just based on how you throw your birthday parties, it's going to be a balcony at your wedding and it's going to be people at the top that are like, I can't really see. Phones are going to be in pouches. They're going to be zooming in. Not like phones in pouches. Oh, you're going to do a phone in pouches. Honestly, if I need to pouch your phone, you shouldn't be at my wedding.

I want a Zendaya wedding where, like, somebody announced it and we never even knew about it. Lacey, I don't see you at a Zendaya wedding. I see Sydney with that. I don't see you with that. No, I want everybody that I want there. Right. And it's still going to be like, you know, like these are my power associates. So it sounds like you want a JFK Jr. wedding.

Yeah. Yeah. Can we read a message? Okay, boom. I got it. Messy ass STIs. Wow. Hey, Sydney and Marie.

I've been listening to y'all for over a year now, and sometimes I'll go and listen to some of your older episodes. y'all are hella funny and makes my day i'm just a young girl that's indeed in need of some advice here's my mess so boom i love when they start with a so boom so boom i met my ex on the dating app hinge in 2024 he was cool looking i was 19 and at the time he was 25 cool looking mm-hmm so that means he probably had sunglasses on in some of the photos yeah he was hat fishing he had a big fish yeah okay like he was literally oh as we talked we talked for days and found out we lived right next to each other like he was literally right behind my apartment building i live in an apartment complex maybe within two weeks of talking we decided to hang out the first time we hung out

it was short and simple a conversation but the second time we had sex in his car okay we really jumped at least it was a bmw that's what it says in the in the thing okay and in a porsche and a jaguar but okay a jaguar yeah now i was a virgin oh the first time you had sex was in a car like a virgin well to be fair a lot of people had their sexuals in their teen years and they were in cars car is actually pretty common 25 yeah he they don't he had a place yeah he needs to yeah yeah Somebody sleeping in my BMW Now I was a virgin and everything happened too fast I was screaming and shit because I was confused on what to do during sex

I didn't even know how to moan properly But the first time we had sex there was no condom involved Because everything happened so quickly that he just shoved his peen in without any warning Okay, this does not sound very good Sis, do we need to call Elliot and Olivia's name? I said we might need to call Olivia's. Fast forward two months, still 2024, I found out he gave me chlamydia. Oh.

Welcome to the team, sis. You got a jersey for her? You in there now. You is official. You's a woman now. Hey, hey. Sis, you're not a virgin no more. Chlamydia.

Clap. Just make it clap. This is not a laughing matter. This is not a laughing matter. But a lot of people Have gotten the clap So it's not Yeah

So no worries The clap has gotten Right yeah Oh Yeah Each one teach one Thank you so much Keep going

Chlamydia is It's way more common Than you think And a lot of people Miss girl out there Have had it And they don't want To talk about having it

Because men are nasty So if you If you deal with a man There's a chance Okay hold on Hold on Hold on Okay well go ahead

Let her finish But I feel like chlamydia Is the most common Of all the STIs Yeah But we were having unprotected sex, which wasn't really comfortable. But he kept promising me he would be careful. Girl, girl.

Let me scroll down a little bit because I don't know if I want to read all this. After I found out, I told him that he'd given me an STI. This man's going to sit here and tell me he hadn't had sex since he came to America. So three years. He's originally from Ghana. Oh, Lord. Damn. So he had that thing marinated.

Yeah. He had that thing. Oh, girl, you could have shook his hand and got it. Fast forward, I decided to continue messing with him while I was still depressed. And he believed that we contacted chlamydia. It brought us together. And my dumb ass believed everything. Later on, he goes to ask me out in McDonald's parking lot.

I said, yes. I feel like I only agreed because he was the only person to ask me out ever. We were in a relationship for about eight months. And towards the end of our relationship, I found out I had gotten a UTI and a yeast infection. Had a breakdown in the ER because I thought I got an STI again. On that same day, I broke up with him. I realized our relationship wasn't healthy and it was a trauma bonding thing. Fast forward to today.

I am 21. What are some big sister advice or opinions you can give or share to someone that is less experienced when it comes to dating? Lacey? I feel like I'm the last person to ask because a lot of that I related to. Like when you're having sex and you're like, and all you have to reference is like Pomorin and you're like, uh, I've been told I have very performative sex. I've been working on it, but I don't have that much sex. I feel like I can. Yeah, I can hear it. You're an actress. Yeah.

But like you're supposed to be like just hushed breathing. No, I don't think there's any rules on how you're supposed to be. I don't know. I'm Rick Ross. Like I'm not being high. Not the Maybach music. You know I'm out of breath. I'm like, hold on, hold on. You know, let me get my, let me move it.

The bond is falling off. If something is happening and it makes you moan, it makes you moan. If it's not making you moan, you shouldn't be thinking about moaning. No. I don't know. Sometimes I just enjoy moaning for me. Okay. I mean, I'm not like, oh my God.

But I do be like, oh. and that's cute that's hot like oh like that song um but also i would say like you're young in the game yes yeah stuff like this happens it can be very traumatic that man clearly was up to a lot of things that he was not telling you about because you know when you're out here in the streets and mixing and mingling like that's how people get you know bb that's usually from having multiple sexual partners like one of the partners like stepping out doing stuff or they just not cleaning properly yeah that's it because it all throws your ph yeah and your ph is something you have to protect sweetheart you definitely after sex yeah yeah and yeah and like i know i know this

is a traumatic experience but it's one that many many people go through you will get over it you will find somebody else i don't understand why y'all was living back to back and and but fucking in the car and at the mcdonald's um but at the same time you made a really smart decision because it doesn't sound like he knew where you live for real so and sometimes they shouldn't yeah because they're scary but if you if you don't feel that comfortable with somebody bringing them to your home you probably shouldn't be hooking up with them yeah i'll give that advice it's like get get to know somebody more before you you bust it wide open unless you're just trying to have fun which is a thing as well yeah but these are this is all stuff you're going to learn while

going through the motions and sometimes we give you advice but you only learn by doing it your way and so don't be so hard on yourself and also it's like he probably has never been checked yeah he's saying three years but baby he probably has never seen a clinic you know what i mean so you you just don't know and he didn't go three years without sex he's lying he was lying from the gate and next time you have unprotected sex with somebody or before you do it tell them like when's the last time they got tested ask these questions yeah where's your my chart babes let me see your um log into your portal let me see yeah log into your portal okay and don't do screenshots because they're getting that

AI generated as well. I need dates. I need your social on there. I need to see the doctor. We can call your GP. We can call your GP right now. Put it on speaker. GP, are you with me? No. The blast. How we go from

this? I don't know. Do you have club media? Do you have club media? Cindy, you want this girl to have the clap so bad. Do you have club media? She was like, it doesn't work as well.

She was like, I need you to have a midi app. Do you have the gonorrhea? Do you have the gonorrhea? Whoop, whoop. I know. And listen, they're going to call in and be like, you guys are not taking it serious, STDs. And it's like, no, it is. I'm sorry.

I did that, boys. But also, it could have been more serious. You know what I mean? It was something that was treatable. And also, I noticed that you said that he was the only person around. And that's why you kind of felt like obligated. to like he was the only person checking for you girl baby re-download that hijab or just go go to the park or go anywhere it's six billion people in the world there's plenty of people who would

check for you you always have options and you you were young you were young you were young yes that's you girl so you get out there you never don't have options and that was something you convinced yourself of, which is really difficult because we all do that sometimes. We limit ourselves. We say we can't achieve things. We say that people don't want us.

I do it myself, so I'm preaching to my own choir. But yeah, you got options always. And if that's why you're settling for someone, then it's better to be alone because you can do bad all by yourself. Right, because you can't give yourself chlamydia. You sure can't.

You can't. But I do think if you're going to go out there and things get a little kooky, you have to prepare for this. So you should be taking PrEP Because PrEP is out there for women as well. It's not just men. It's not just gay men.

It's anybody who's having sex. So that can make sure that HIV isn't transmitted from unprotected sex, right? You should get an IUD or birth control because he could have shot up the club. And you could have got pregnant. So protect yourself from that. Also, carry condoms. It's not just the man, even though they should, just in case they don't have it. And they're like, oh, I don't have one.

You're like, boop, I got it. And they're like, what you doing with a condom? And it's like, if that's how they feel, then I guess what. What you not doing with a condom? Yeah, exactly. And if they give you that kind of response, then that's everything you need to know. And you shouldn't be having sex with them anyway. But also, think about it like this.

If a guy is going to have unprotected sex with you on the first hookup, on the first link, they're doing that with other people, but also on the first link. And it was your first time, but it won't be their first time. And it wasn't his first time. Yeah, girl, wrap him up. Okay? And also that's so selfish because he knows you're a virgin. So he's like, whatever dirtiness, I'm sticking in me.

And I don't want to say dirtiness. These STIs and stuff, they're not dirty. It's just something that happens. It's like the cold. We don't look at people when they get the cold from somebody else like, ooh. Who sneezed on me? I don't even got to read it. Right.

Who sneezed on you? Like there's a stigma around this because it involves sex, but it's not. But he could have taken better care of your sexual health by, you know, at least wearing a condom if he wasn't exactly sure what his status was. I don't fuck that dude. But yeah, I fuck that dude. yeah does he still live behind your apartment complex like you ever drive really fast through the parking lot and maybe like don't see people that you could hit lacy and on that note thank you for bringing your messy ass to the pod i said what yeah yeah can you

let everybody know where they can find you what you got coming up we love you down sis this was wild yes yeah very mess thank you thank you allegedly is he allegedly still living there where you can you know accidentally hit him with your car yeah we didn't encourage

anything what kind of car you drive hit him with his BMW yes yeah I'll bust the windows out your car

um yes uh y'all can find me at D-I-V-A-L-A-C-I-D on all platforms you can listen to my podcast

Scam Goddess the comedy podcast all about robbery fraud and those who practice it in fact I'm about to kidnap Marie and Sydney right now

and we're gonna do an episode yeah oh my god see why would I why would I you can you do your thing

we'll just be background you know that was great thank you that was great you can watch the show on Hulu you can watch the first

two seasons of Going Dutch on Hulu and yeah get my book Scam Goddess anywhere books are sold come on see you at the 4th of July

it's gonna be a line get there early ladies free before 11 yes we giving out Amaretto Sours and Long Island Ice Teas

to my baddest young hoes yes and yeah thank you for keeping up with us keep listening keep subscribing

to the YouTubes we'll I'm sure we'll be by 10k by then and then you know we actually do have to make this merch yes do all that

pass it to a friend and protect yourself how about that ladies love you down Marie I'm goddess hi y'all love you Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin

is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcast created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani super produced by Becca Ramos edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries

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