MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - 30 & Regular

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

The holidays are coming up, and Sydnee and Marie are NOT even close to having their stuff in order. The two have so many things to do: dealing with unpleasant realtors, emails regarding their taxes, and writing stuff on loose paper. Let's just say the prayer list is lengthy this time around. Plus, they discuss the latest mess: aging!  Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're listening to mess okay girl i'm haggaronis how you doing um i'm doing well i think if i think about how i'm actually doing i think it's gonna make me feel bad but i'm doing well really yeah like you know how someone's like how you doing and you just say good yeah but sometimes when i need to learn how to do that how you do that sis you lie i'm bad at that you have we not realized i am i need to cut transparency out of my life i'm done you do i'm done you need to be more what's the opposite of transparent opaque opaque okay that's what i need to be that's the word of the day okay every time we say it take a shot yes uh so are you are you overwhelmed is it the holidays is it just

i just feel like i have a lot of stuff that i need to do yeah and if i don't write it down it won't get done and even if i do write it it might not get done you know what i mean like i need to i have like a notebook now where i write in big sharpie my to-do list yeah so then i can see it because usually i write everything on like an envelope or like a you know a receipt and then i lose that and then i oh no mamas what you just writing it on loose papers sometimes i just write it on the table like it's a dry erase book well at least you're writing it down I feel like writing it down and thinking about it is just it's doing too much that's a mess for me like we're seeing what I have to do and knowing what I have to do that's why I'm right now is I feel manic I feel

absolutely manic because you know I know y'all tired of me talking about trying to get an apartment yes but after we talk about it now we'll never talk about it never we'll never talk about it again because we will i will after this comes out i will hopefully have already gotten an apartment that my mess fully is like trying to un-mess my life that's what's going on right now i am i think i am tired of saying i'm a mess it's okay that the pod is called mess but i don't want that to be my life i need to i need a whole rebrand i need to you know gut it gut the whole thing started like the shell of it is going to be the same but the inside we rearrange and shit so the shell of your life the shell of my life you know because a friend was like i think it's

cute that you know you kind of like a little messy but i'm like i i am i'm through i'm exhausted i actually don't want it no more you're no more you're retired i'm ready to hang it up i'm whatever my my messy ass cloak is burn it i am through because i want to be more organized i don't think i'll ever gonna really be on time that's fine but like i just want my papers in order my clothes hung up my money my money right like that's i'm not asking for much bitch put all that on the prayer list yeah let me write that down so your papers and what papers oh like your citizenship no any type of papers papers okay the girl the way the papers just be lying around like have my whole bank statement social security my whole information just out i will i will

rip open the envelope and then put it down somewhere well yeah yeah that's i got i got a lot of letters from the irs that i'm ignoring and all the papers are on my table right now and i'm i leave them out because i'm like if they're out maybe i'll read these but i think i'm just gonna have to go to jail because i'm not arrest me no i don't please actually while i'm starting my new life i don't want to get arrested i've done that already i i can't do it sid is the new black i can't do it orange is the new seed girl it's like and the thing the thing is is that like you know obviously i'm i'm tired i don't want to get older i'm like can we just stay here can we just like i'd be another year but the same year or or can we can we be another year but

that is mess what aging is mess yeah okay because when you're young you think you're gonna be young forever you think your body and your knees and your back and your head shoulders knees and toes is always gonna be like i didn't know that all of the hair on your body can go gray you can get gray eyebrow hairs you can get gray armpit hairs you can get gray pubes who knew i knew i knew because let me tell you right even before this pod I was like

let me go let me go work my situation out before I come to the pod I said let me let me start fresh and when I tell you I think

I was like the way I use that razor I said do I have Parkinson's I miss a whole section it looks uneven do I have Parkinson's

I would like to say that's in the running to be the title but I don't think they're going to let us do that that's not the title but the way I will never

I won't tell anybody that they should trust me with scissors or to cut anything of importance. Well, sis, did you trim your labia off? Like, what happened to the... Oh, baby, we close to it. She's giving scalped. Scalped, but then there's...

Because, you know, I was trying to do the landing strip. I was trying to have something cute. Oh, you were trying to do a design. I was trying to do some, you know, Netflix new show. That's why you was late to the studio today. You was trying to do a design. Yeah, Shape That Cooch by Sidney Washington. I don't know.

I was just... Is it Cake by Sidney Washington? Is it Coochie? Is the coochie cute? Is the coochie cute? I'm trying. Thank you. I'm doing my best.

Thank you so much. Yeah. And I did it kind of in the dark. Why are you shaving your... Because I just had natural light going on in the bathroom. And, you know, it's just a little windowsill, just a smidge of the light coming through. And I said, that's enough.

And I've got one eye open while I'm doing it. And then, you know, I didn't lift up my leg. I'm just fully just standing straight. And you're trying to hold the door closed because the cat's trying to come in. No, you know, they do try to come in. And they were like, well, let me get it. George was like, I think I got a better angle. I don't know.

It was a mess. The cat said, I hear you shaving a cat in the air. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Yeah, it don't look right. It's bad. And now I feel like I just got to just start all over and just go bald.

And I don't like that either. Really? Yeah. I don't like that. I don't know. I kind of. It's too much. It's like, you know how some people can't have a bald head because you could see how lumpy or whatever it looks.

I'm not saying it looks lumpy. It just, I don't like it. I don't want to see it all the way. Girl, you might be Bruce Willis under there. No, it is not Bruce Willis. It's very proportionate. I don't know. You know, because I'm getting older, I put some weight on it.

So it's not, it's not seltz. It's fat. Hashtag, hashtag Lizzo. I never said that. I never said that. You said that. I did not. It's on the record.

um okay but my my mess this week is i went to go see some apartments and i think you know they need to start over with all these realtors a lot of them i don't know how you got your job i don't know what like that you're overselling but also you got an attitude you have this air like you need me and it's like i do but i need you to act like you need me as well they do because they need they need that little uh commission or whatever sailing sunset be talking about i i don't know what they need but they they need to rework some ways they speak to people i went to this um you know open house which is crazy i don't want to go to a cattle call of somebody seeing some apartment in new york city we walk in we're walking up the stairs it feels like we're in the in the navy and

we're like and we're all going up and we're walking up three flights of stairs first of all why did I know that this was a walk up why am I I don't want to sweat to see an apartment I don't want to be huffing and puffing

and feeling like oh my god did I just do SoulCycle yeah third floor is too high cause I'm somebody who always forget something

when I get to the bottom of the stairs and I gotta go back up if I live on the third floor whatever's up there is staying up there my keys my wallet

whatever's up there is staying up there and it's crazy because I went to go see a duplex and that's exactly the vibes of like you go in and it's like the ceilings are so hot it it is ideally it's like oh this is beautiful but it's not for me it's not for me because i go up the stairs where's the closets there's no closet there's no space it's like everything is for

some cutesy young kid that's in college there's nothing none of these apartments is for a grown ass bitch that's like i i have stuff i've lived i have things where do my things go well because it's a two bedroom it's actually anti-hoarder right now i don't like it anti-hoarder they're like oh where you gonna put yourself you can't there's nowhere to put the thing no you gotta they said this little second bedroom that's the closet that's the closet and it's like but who's gonna pay for this second bed my clothes are not paying for this closet so that's the second room so i go there everybody's sucking their teeth they're upset because they're like we walked all the way up here we're not buying this this is this is dumb yeah then i go to another place and um

you know another open house now i'm not being fucking rude but i'm rude right now now i see the people who pulled up to see this apartment i say well these are the people who trying to see the apartment i don't need to be here because what is this what the people look it was a rag tag of who where y'all coming from like are you yo where you live like they just i came together Like, I was like, you know, let me put on a little cute outfit. They look like they rolled out of bed. They had on pajama bottoms. And it was strange.

It was strange. It was an odd couple. And then it was these roommates. No, no, no, no problem. So the guy, he's late. The realtor or whatever, he's late. No problem. I'm late.

I understand. He comes in. He's talking to the couple. He's nice to them. He's talking to the roommate. The two people who came in twos, he's nice to them. He sees me. He's like, and who are you?

It's like, sir, you called me. You called me to tell me you're late. You don't know who this is? Yeah, babe, I'm on the list. Yeah. So then we go up, you know, they're selling, selling, selling these apartments that are too small. And he's talking to the couple, asking them about them, then talking to them.

He's paying me dust. Like, oh, I ain't nobody. And then finally, he's like, he's like, oh, I want them to see the apartments first and then you come after them. And I'm like, OK, this is fucking are you being rude because I'm by myself because I'm a single woman. Then I go in the apartment by myself with him. And he's like, so why do you need a two-bedroom?

Excuse me? Oh, no. That is none of your fucking business. Whoa. I could be in here with my imaginary friend. Again, none of your business. But also, why is he talking to you like he already knows your credit score? Ooh, Marie, you are rude.

Mess. So then I said, oh, well, I'm going to, you know, I have a roommate or whatever. He's like, a husband? First of all, if I was going to be with a husband, I would have said husband. I said roommate. He said, oh, well, he's a roommate now, but he might be a husband later. You are too familiar, sir. How old was this person?

Old enough that he should be minding his business. You should be wanting me to apply. I now no longer want to apply. I wasn't going to apply anyway because I saw the dirty welcome mat you have of this place. I'm all set. But it was getting very sexist, over-familiar, weirdo vibes. and I was just like I was

he could tell when I walked in I was like yeah the same for me he said the views the views are great I said

hey I he's like you're not gonna get anything better than this excuse me sir what he was what they were asking for what price

um I think it was I think it was like 31 for you know just a regular like skinny two bedroom

not enough closet the kitchen is in the living room the living room is in the bath it was all of that it was none it was nothing

he's like oh we have a gym me, I don't care about these amenities, sir. I'm not going to be in that gym. Nope. I would like a gym, but you won't see me. The gym don't know me. Okay? I would like it as an option, but it's not the reason why I'm in the building. Do you understand?

So anyway, that pissed me off and I was just like, and then he had the nerve to call me the next day. I told him I said I'm not applying, but he called me. To say what? Probably just checking in. I don't know because I didn't pick up. But I now want to call him today. I said, hey, did anybody apply? Because I know

I didn't. And then hang up. that's so petty. It is petty. And that's, I should have been like that because it was just like, sir, who the,

who the F are you talking to? Anywho, I just can't wait till I get an apartment because I'm ready. I'm going to put petty Sydney on the prayer list. You should be more petty.

Absolutely. I should be more petty. I should be more petty and more organized. That's all I want. And now I'm just trying to get, I'm going to, I saw an apartment.

I liked it. You know, my friend likes it. I actually wanted the two bed, two bath, but it's, You know, I need more money.

I need more money. Put that on the prayer list as well. I need more money. More coins, Marie. Money. Okay, I'll put it on there. Enough about me. What about you?

Ooh, let's talk about my mess. I do really think getting older is messy because, you know, when you're young and your eyes are awesome and your body is great, you take it for granted, you know? You squint into the sun and you look at eclipses, even though they tell you not to without glasses, And you're like, I'm going to be able to see forever. So I had an eye exam last week and, you know, I cheated.

I cheated at the eye exam. I was trying to put both eyes in one hole. And I was trying to. Whoa. Two eyes, one hole? Two eyes, one hole. What? That's crazy, Marie.

Yeah. That's hot. Is that, will that be a new porno? Two eyes, one hole? Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be nasty like the original. Part one, two girls, one cup. But yeah, so I, you know, I'm trying to cheat.

the guy's like what do you see up there i'm like what do you see um the doctor's like ma'am and i'm like ma'am um and uh after the exam turns out i need glasses so i got glasses but he was like you know how they're like this one or this one a or b and the whole time i'm like i don't know they kind of look the same so i'm just i'm i'm not even really paying attention you have to take it's serious I got the glasses they're too strong I'm like

I feel like I'll put them on for you yeah let's see I feel like when I wear them I feel cross eyed come on let's go no you just gotta get used to it

see I got some cool little hipster joints I think it's kind of like when you put a diva cup in you know it doesn't feel right just yet but then you

sit in it for a little bit and you're like oh it didn't maneuver it's I don't need to see this clearly I feel like I can see the world in 4k right now

like the wall has a texture I don't want to see that I can see these buttons breathing. I can see the dust on the front. You need to be able to see, friend. Girl, I'm thinking about it. That's probably why we're not on time.

We don't see well. We can't see the time. First of all, the glasses are too strong. And when I went to pick them up, I was like this. And the lady was like, wear them for the weekend. And then I did not wear them for the weekend. You have to wear them for the weekend, Marie. Wear them for the rest of the show.

Girl, my eyes. This is too much. Sister, and I see you. You look beautiful. Baby, this is the opposite of Ray Charles. And I don't like it Like I can see You watching this right now

Maybe I need to see them Girl they're too strong Maybe I need it Look how pretty you are Without my glasses No hold on Oh no I can see these Maybe I need

Maybe this is my prescription Please look Please look into the camera This might be my What do I look like? Do I look as good as Marie? I don't know if they look good Marie the way you're laughing at me

Let me see They do look good I'm just saying Oh but she's just cute Girl And they go And they go with the shirt It's giving Miss Frizzle

Just a little bit Miss Frizzle would never look this simple, babe. She would have on 17 patterns. Girl, I want these glasses. I'm screaming. Seeing is terrible. No, thank you. That's what I'm saying.

Seeing is terrible. I need to see, but not like that. But yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I got glasses and they're too strong. That's my mess. That is your mess. But at least, you know, you're working on yourself. You're feeling that is motivating.

Just knowing that you went there and there's a solution. The solution is glasses. I want my money back. You probably shouldn't have lied on your test, but we'll go back and we'll make it right. Yeah, but when I go back, they're going to charge me again for that. And, you know, they try to upcharge me with the thinner, sexy, polycarbonate, this glass, transition. And I was like, no, no, no. I just want whatever the cheapest ones are because I bought my own frames.

And then they charged me $35 for bringing my own frames. I don't even think these frames cost $35. How much are the glasses? Sydney, you have these frames. I got them from Amazon. And then I put my prescription. That's great. So, wait.

Shout out to Jeffrey. Are those glasses sturdy then? What do you mean? Because if they're Amazon, the wind blow wrong and it breaks. No. The glass, the glass. Also, they call them glasses, but this is not glass. It's plastic.

Oh. I said, so why do they call them glasses? And the lady was like, I don't know, ma'am. I just work here. She said, just swipe your card, bitch. Stop asking these questions and pay for these glasses. Yo, it's real dusty in here. I can see all the dust on the keyboard.

I heard. What's up? Y'all need a little Swiffer? a little Swiffer wet jet in this bitch this is crazy but I will say now that I have glasses

and I can see I wore these on the train and I was making eye contact with everybody and they probably thought you wanted them they're like they're just

sexy I feel like Velma when she can see again that's how I feel anyway we gonna take them all okay so another thing

I think like getting older is messy is because your perspective changes drastically yeah like just the things

that i was so into is through i don't i don't care no more like what um okay let's see this is this is a tough one it's like when people talk to me i think they'd be talking to the old me where i would be like oh yeah that i'm cool with that but now i think i'm so not sensitive but things irk me so much so when somebody asks me or talk to me a certain way it triggers me where i want to like pop off oh yeah pop off yeah and so i right now i'm trying to work on talking to people the right way like taking a break and being like okay i'm gonna get back to you let me think about this because i i don't want to write immediately how i feel and i don't i want to check me before i check that person. Sometimes you gotta

check yourself before you wreck yourself. You knew that was coming around. You knew it. You knew it. That was very old for you to say. That's not old. No, it's wise. That's what it is. It's I've lived. Wise is the new old. No, it's not. Seasoned. Rude. That's what you are. Thank you.

But you know, I'm a youth. The youth are rude. That's why you see so well? Woo! You know what you should start saying? listen i can't really hold space for this right now that's what it is i'm gonna get to work on that space yeah you gotta hold that space oh um but also yeah i um i don't i have two modes okay when somebody says something that i don't want to hear i am either very quick to block now i'm blocking or i send a very i'm not gonna say condescending but kind of like a the tone the

tone of the email is a little bit rude like my um accountant took a really long time to get back to me and i looked at my the correspondence of the email and it had been a month since the first message i sent them and so last week here let me read the message to you yeah let me hear this message i sent this and then yo you'll be we be on the chains and i'm like yo i need to can you start a class on how to respond wait hold on your responses i'm like i i wouldn't have written that Yeah. I mean, sometimes it's stuff I shouldn't write, but I'll I'll be and I'll talk and I'll say I'll be like, hey, Siri. And then I'll say it. Oh, that's why. So what I do is I type it out. So the way I type is not the way I actually speak. Yeah.

The way I type is sometimes I speak. But OK, boom. Hold on. I said, hi, I never heard anything back regarding this. And I now hear you both loud and clear. Oh, a full month has passed since I sent my initial email regarding this issue. and I would have appreciated just one message stating that this was something you're unable to help me with so I wouldn't have wasted so much time waiting around. Moving on to someone else who can hopefully resolve this for me quickly.

Thanks for dot, dot, dot. You fired them? Well, I mean, then he responded immediately. Hi, Maria, I'm not sure what's going on, but I did respond last week to set up a time to talk this over. The response is below. And then he sent it and it was in there.

But I didn't get it. Yeah, but you need to write and say, hey, so I got new glasses. I just couldn't see. I'm sorry about that. No, I got a prescription. No, no, no. I responded. Hi, blank.

I never received that message you sent. And this process has been extremely frustrating because I be trying to channel my inner white woman, you know, and I feel like they would say something like this. I just like to pay this fine and get set my accounts up and not have this problem ever again. Are you free to talk today or sometime tomorrow morning? I understand if you're not, but I do plan to call the IRS today. And then we talked. girl you wesley snipes you going to jail what's up possibly no girl i it's 320 fine that i gotta pay plus the other fine but you know what was the fine for just late you know failure to file

oh yeah but i filed just late well maybe you can talk to the irs and be like it wasn't me it was fucking greg you know yeah i always say push it on somebody else what they gonna do well i mean i just listen i just i'll be speaking to my siri and she says she records it i had a comma or two and then i'll send it yeah i need to work through that that being said the first accountant that i talked to like that did let herself go she was like well because i was like i thought you were doing my taxes what's up and she was like oh i didn't know that i was preparing them and i was like but i had been messaging you about my taxes all year did you think i was messaging you because we're friends and she was like i actually don't like your tone and i'm not taking this any further

with you and I was like damn I'm gonna do my taxes Marie but also it's like I don't know sometimes you got to give somebody enough rope for them to hanging themselves and sometimes you got to say something for them to be like you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna peace out because I wasn't doing my job right anyway I think that's what it is we forget that like the same way that we half-ass the jobs that we had when we were young and some of the jobs that we do now it's it's doctors half-ass in it's cpas that's why it's scary right now i i know too much i know too i remember when like i freaking was like i'm going to work i am so happy to work i will do anything to work and now i'm like man i'm tired working is hard and i was like whoa i know there's people who are like

me who are showing up to work who got more important jobs than me and they got the same vibes as me and are they showing up 20 minutes late too so they you know they're frazzled and stressed so they're so the energy is just like exchanging and it's stressing me out i'm thinking about too much at the same time yeah you think pilots show up to work half-assing it too um i think they have to come two hours early before it's before they have to like fly they i don't think they'll let anybody show up to work late and then go fly i have been on flights where they were like we're sitting here because the pilot is not here i have been on flights where they were like we waiting for the pilot he's getting off another flight and it's like okay but getting off

another flight is different from he haven't flown all day and now he pulling up 30 minutes late. He's wearing the blazer, but he's wearing pajama bottle. He got on sweatpants. You know what? And that's some people's whole identity is where they, yes, they have the uniform on top, but they too

loose at the bottom. Too loose at the bottom. That's the title. Too loose at the bottom. okay let's look at some of the stuff that's like messy for the week um that's coming up that i saw on you know the internets so i'm into this artist sabrina carpenter i mean also she's getting pushed down my throat with the algorithm saying i'm into this artist like people don't know who i'm into I don't know if y'all know about her. Is she indie?

I don't know. You know, she just popped out. I am thoroughly enjoying, I think it's the Short and Sweet tour. Everybody's putting out all these like clips. They're going. We've even had a friend, Marcelo Hernandez from SNL. He was able to do a little skit with her. They both posted a picture of them backstage together.

It looked real intimate. It looks so freaking cool. I'm going to text him and tell him I want to officiate the wedding. Short and Sweet. It was dope. It was so dope. And so, you know, I'm listening to her songs. I'm watching how she performs.

And what people don't know is Sabrina is selling sex. I don't care if y'all think she a Polly Pocket. She is sex, sexy. She's sexy in a little teddy dress. She is deep throat in that microphone in front of them kids. And that's the problem right now. People are having an issue with her like little Juno poses. They're like, oh, you're doing too much, sis.

Babe, she's going. Kids are coming to the concert and it's like, hey, whatever. I don't know who. She used to be on a Disney channel. She's not doing that no more. No, ma. You guys got us. You got to leave the Disney channel.

You got to. Hi, I'm Sabrina Carpenter and you're watching the Disney. You got to leave this behind. This. She's grown. She's not doing this no more. She's doing this now. Yeah, she is doing that.

And I think women should be allowed to express themselves how sexually or not if they want to. And if their listeners just so happen to be 18, 17, 15, because that's who's listening, then, hey, so be it. This is what people grow up, and this is how they're speaking and how they're talking. And she's a poet, too, because the thing is, they'll listen to a song, and they're like, ooh, bop, bop, bop. She's talking about taking it from the back, y'all.

What song is that? She's just saying it the Urban Outfitters way. She just covered it with, like, this a lot of bubble gum. Because she said the, come on, ride on me. Come on, ride on me. I mean, camaraderie. She's being like, she's got to play on words. She said, come on, ride on me.

That's what she said. Bitch, I'll be riding. Okay, she's reverse cowgirl on that ass. She's number 11 in the world on Spotify. That's amazing. You can't, it's not short or sweet, okay? It's crazy because like when you, a friend of ours just went to go see Taylor Swift

And she said Taylor Swift is very like, you guys can do it. And like, yeah, like because she has a lot of little kid fans and she got, you know, people, you know, that are older. And Sabrina is doing the opposite. She has a lot of little kid fans, but she is giving, you know, Miley when she wouldn't put her tongue back in her mouth energy. And I think that however the artist wants to be portrayed, that's how they should be able to portray. If there's young people listening to me, thank you for listening. But I'm still going to be me. I'm still an adult.

I'm still, you know. How old is Sabrina? She got to be like, oh, all that? Okay, she old. She's grown. Shut up, Marie. She's grown. 25.

And I think 25 is like the most flirty I had ever been in my life. Like, I was just becoming my, you know, getting into my own. I didn't have fake breasts yet. But, you know, I was flopping them little triple A cups everywhere. And I was in my little American apparel, tiny ass dresses with no panties on. And so I feel like Sabrina is probably an elevated, you know, the rich that. Yeah. And so when you're feeling yourself and you, you know, you can write and you can sing and you can perform, you're saying whatever and you should be allowed to. And I forgot what news anchor was saying, you know, oh, the parents should just be listening to the music so that so they didn't know what their kids are listening.

He's like, I'm a parent. I'm doing what parents do. I don't have time to listen to these songs. He's like, it's up to the artist. It's their responsibility. I said, no, it's not. They only do this to female artists, and they do it every single year. Every year, some artist is popping, and they're like, well, Rihanna should be a better influence.

Rihanna is a grown-ass woman smoking weed and talking about how sex with her was so amazing. why did you think your kid was not going to hear that or or shouldn't hear that like she don't care about your daughter you know what i'm saying like she got kids herself now hey she's she's a mother she is a mother but like every artist they do that with but it's women i don't think they do this with men men get up there and they're talking about i don't even know what male artists talk about i don't my ears just closed as soon as they talk yeah but uh what do male artists talk about I don't know, but I love, I would love to go to her concert. Shall we text Marcelo?

I know he could get us backstage, right? I love her concert and I love when artists are on stage and you could tell they're having a good time. I don't like when people are being performative and they're not in their bag. Dochi right now is in, you know, panties and ass is flapping and she's wrapping her ass off and she's so good. And I like, that's what I want to see. I don't want to see somebody being like, well, this is what I think they want me to be. It's like, ugh. Not ugh, but ugh.

Yeah. Do what you want to do, how you want to do it. And if you're having a good time, it's fun for everybody involved. Now, you know, we've seen Mariah Carey live a few times. And she pops out for the holidays. She does her little two months of music and then she leaves. But, you know, the last time we saw her perform, I said, did she take an edible? Wait, what?

She just felt very I mean And she you know She's not doing choreo She She don't really sway But it did feel like The last time we saw her perform

It was like It was giving sedated No no no It wasn't giving sedated It's giving legend I'm a legend She has worked So many years

Decades Putting Her discography Is It's unmatched She's worked She's did her time Yeah

She wants to glide And slide She not gliding or sliding She's standing If she wanted to get her tresses pressed out on stage, she should be able to. And she does. And she will. And she will.

She stands there. She sings. And I love it. And then the guy comes out and he's like, and then. I love it. I think these fans are expecting too much and they know too much and they're too critical. And it's like, you know, Usher's out there sweating his wig off. He's in roller skates.

He's got background. He's got all this stuff going on. And it's like, y'all feel the same way. y'all feel the same way about everything no y'all people are never

satisfied you know what I'm saying so it's like at least perform the way you want to perform and walk out and be like I did what I wanted to do

I just want if you're gonna perform live just make it seem like you're excited to be there that's all I'm saying I think I think she is she's sipping her lemonade

she got her kids dancing in the back she's having a good time okay also also how old is she oh how old is Mariah Carey

I want to say 50 50 Fifty eight. Oh, right. We're in the middle. Yeah. I mean, I think there should be I think it's a mess when you expect too much from people who have lived a long time. I'm like, I am in my 30s. I'm exhausted. I can't. I being that age and doing everything that she has done. I can't even imagine. I would not have no time for nothing. I wouldn't want anybody giving me notes on anything. I'm like, hey, I've been fine since. Right. I've been doing what I need to do. But being 30 and regular isn't different than being.

I heard you being 30. I heard regular. Hold on. Let me let me finish. You trying to finish 30 and regular. That's also the title. That's also the title bit. Being 30 and regular is different than being 55 and rich because 55 and rich is basically 30 and regular.

You know what I'm saying? Like, like, you understand what I'm saying? Yeah. And Mariah Carey has been rich since she was like 20. So, you know, it's 30, 35 years. Is that the math? It's 35 years of rich, leisurely, you know, face massages and butt massages and wrist massages. Whatever the hell she needs, she's getting.

Oh, you know what's a mess right now? People are obsessed with the way Lindsay Lohan looks. Christina Aguilera. All the girls is getting the work done. Probably even Martha Stewart. the girls are popping out they the new surgeon that's on a block he's doing his thug fizzle but everyone is commenting on how it's it's right now it's weird because one way you want to be like oh these people look amazing but they're obviously in the eye of the people and they have

to get this work done but then they're like you're promoting this is a negative way to promote um what getting older looks like because that's not how people that age looks i don't think it's negative to promote that i think that they look great christina yulera looks like she literally turned back the hands of time is giving genie in a bottle um lindsey lohan i mean i say it's toxic i was toxic because they said she looks better than she did when she was younger okay so as a woman you're not allowed to be ugly you're not allowed to be cute you're not allowed to be big you're not allowed to be small nope now if you're on tiktok bragging about being skinny people are like that's offensive yep i like being skinny you say now on the record friend they're canceling

people for that they canceling people right now i like being skinny are you saying i wish i would be thick but i'm not okay i've tried you tried to be thick my my thing about it uh one because i've had plastic surgery and i am thin i will say this some of that stuff is not the answer if you do things thinking that it's going to change your whole it you could still have your body done be thin and doing bad and i'm gonna tell you this i'm saying it in the camera that'd be me sometimes skinny boobs bad like it's skinny boobs bad skinny boobs bad that's the new fuck mary kill it's happening that's the new live love laugh it happened no for me i was having this conversation um with our friend carolina and she was just like you'll never know what it's like to

you know deal with fat phobia and these things and like you saying that oh you're skinny and You have issues. It's not the same. And I was like, I'm not saying it's the same, but you can't invalidate how people feel in their body. That's what I'm saying. It's like, obviously, fat phobia is real. I don't know if skinny phobia is real,

but even the way they're talking about Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo, the discussion is everything is all weird. It's like people are just getting too loose with the lips about discussing women's bodies and how they look and how they should be. And nobody's professionals. you're not a doctor you don't know what they're doing in their day-to-day to say somebody oh you're you have body issues or eating eating disorder or this it's it's none of your fucking business at my point like no way the way that we want to lindsey tell us who did your face

hey babe you got to get in the same tax bracket as me and then you'll know who to who the doctor is you can't you can't get whoever she got y'all who work at cvs can't so why are you asking i heard it was a $200,000 facelift. Really? No way. Is that what I need? That's what they're saying. You got $200,000?

No. Okay. Oh, you know what? Since we're talking about money, and you're listening to this, go ahead and Venmo me $50. We're going to work our way up to the $200,000. For my facelift?

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is pretty much a GoFundMe installment. It's going to take 200,000 episodes to get there. Yeah, we'll get there. Yeah, no, I think that there is I don't I don't know if it's skinny phobic, but, you know, when people are like big and proud to be big and I don't know what the word is here. Body positive. You're allowed to be body positive if you're bigger. But if you're thin and you are happy with your weight, then people are not happy with you. And I'm like, is this how white people feel when black people be like black, black girl magic and black power?

Is this how white people feel? I don't I don't know. Well, that's the thing. They're like, hey, you already have a privilege by being thin or beautiful or whatever. So why do you need to say that? You're already living. It's not a privilege. But it is.

I disagree. It is. It is. But it is. We do have to be honest. It's like, you know, a white privilege or whatever. It is a privilege being attractive or having a certain body type because people will treat you differently. That's just what it is.

Yeah, but everybody that's big is not big because they can't help being big. You know, this is not. Everybody don't have a thyroid problem. This is not my wheelhouse. I don't know. Everybody don't have PCOS. I can't. Everybody, it's America.

Some of y'all big because y'all love Chick-fil-A. oh bitch hey that's what marie said that's not what i said this is this is marie standing on that i am i am not listen zoom in no zoom in wow so this is gonna go viral for sure for all the wrong reasons girl i'm not trying to go viral i'm just saying oh you don't have to try baby you ain't gotta try i'm just saying okay i'm petite i got petite parents but they got big i have big aunts and uncles you know what i'm saying even the way you're saying big sis i don't know i don't know you should maybe you should be a little bit more like lighter with it big big listen everybody everybody and i'm speaking specifically about america everybody that's

here is not big because of an accident or because of a health issue or because i don't know lymph notes i don't know why people i don't know why people be big um but uh yeah i i don't i can understand the privilege of it. I don't like how you're doing that quotation. I don't think it's a privilege to be skinny. Rui, you got some fucking nerves. You with your good-ass skin, your abs, your perfect teeth.

Yeah, you can't see that well, but everything else is working out, friend. Everything else is working out. Listen, one day when I'm big, maybe I should have a baby so when I'm big, I could be like, let me get my big ass through here. Girl, you're a mess. I will say that as I've gotten older, I've gained, you know,

obviously it's not enough for people to be like but I have things change and I can't wear the same clothes or I don't feel comfortable and I'm like if I feel like this I know this is hard for other people so I do understand the sensitivity of just like being kinder to like how women speak about the outside that the shell it is it is a way to talk about things and having empathy because i do understand i am not saying that i don't understand i'm just saying like even like somebody will put an outfit on and people will be in the comments like is the outfit cute or is she just skinny and it's like why can't it be both oh people love dragging a skinny beach because

they're like well her life must be perfect or she must not have no problems or she must get dick every day and it's like whoa my life is a mess is that what they say to your comments is I don't know not not my comments necessarily but I'm saying like anytime somebody uh slender or slim does something someone in the comments is like she's too skinny or why like oh she can wear that but why not make this bigger like even brands will have people modeling things and they'll be Like, well, what size does this go up to? And this is big people erasure. And it's like, you know, this is simple size.

Like, they only had a couple pieces of fabric together. They put this together so you could see what it looks like. Don't be mad at this brand or this person's body. Like, you know, let me be thin in peace. Ooh, thin in peace. Okay, that's another title, babe. Okay, let me take my glasses off. Thin in peace is wild.

That's the name of my memoirs. I think for me, I used to say such wild things when I was younger about just the state of anything and everything. And now I'm like, yo, one wrong move and you might not have it like that. And so I'm, I'm trying to be more like light about things because, um, I remember, I remember I was in Zara and I, I'm, I'm a name names and I put on these jeans and I, I just, I just didn't, I didn't feel good in it. And the woman next to me, like I came out and I was looking, I was like, Oh, like, she's like, you look great.

And I was like, I don't, I don't, I don't think this does anything for me. She's like, I would kill to have that body. And I'm like, okay. I'd be like, well, please don't kill me right now. I'm like, what can I do with that? That's how you feel about where you want your body to be? I don't like this. So it's kind of like we all need to take our own personal feelings

and work on that, and we can't all just be projecting. Because it's hard living in our bodies, period. A hundred percent. It's hard living in our bodies. i think as and i'm gonna you know i can only speak from a woman's perspective but like you know people have a lot to say about how we look and and we internalize things about ourselves like my body now is not the way my body looked 10 years ago you know so it's things about my body that i don't like and if i dare say something about it people be like what could you possibly have to

complain about and it's like i live here i live here yeah i live here so let me let me live here that's also a good title i live here yes um okay let's talk about uh makeup artists who um post before and after or like during you know what i mean like you get your hair done now because of tiktok there's a a camera with a ring light in your face you get your makeup done now there's a camera with a with a ring on it in your face so this makeup artist posted the process of putting Glorilla's makeup on and then Glorilla got mad at her?

Yeah, she posted it and, you know, it definitely, it didn't seem like how a lot of makeup artists are just doing these time-lapse videos and it looked

really professional. This feels like, girl, you was in the back of somebody's room just taking these videos. Like BTS? Yeah, BTS. But it didn't,

it seemed like she did it on an Android. Like, no shade, but it just didn't seem like properly lit or like, some people, don't have the BTS face.

Some people, you need to post the finished product and that's it. I think I'm one of those people. I don't like seeing the process. I just post what happened. I don't, you know, because if my hair is not right or, you know, my eyebrows are not all the way drawn in, I just don't like that.

So I think it's weird that we've become in this world where everything is freaking content. every like girl just do my nails why are you setting up the damn tripod just do my nails right and so gorilla was like i she's like i thought she did a bad job or not a bad job but she was kind of like dragging the makeup artist and she's like but this is weird i told her i was up and coming and she her friends said i did a good job but it's like you posted this what did you think she was gonna say well i think the makeup artist got what they wanted they went viral we go viral and now people are talking about it and when is the when the ending the

end result i think it looks good she looks like how we usually see her so it's like i mean maybe the time lapse should have been a little quicker we shouldn't really have seen the before that long because i think that's what people are are upset about but then they were then it was this discussion where they're like well they're saying that it doesn't look good because of gorilla's features like oh because of her nose or the way like her her jaw is is shaped and it's like whoa whoa whoa hey hey it's none of that it's like hey i some of us just feel more comfortable when it's already done i don't i don't love my hands per se like i hate when i'm getting my nails done and they take a picture at the end i'm like i know you're not gonna post this my hands

look kind of kind of elder i know you're not gonna post elder i know the hands are giving Steve Buscemi sometimes. So I know that I'm not going to. So stop taking pictures that you're not going to post. That hurts my feelings too. Girl. When people take pictures of,

oh, they did my hair, they did my makeup and they don't post it. So why did you take this picture? For a reference? With a reference supposed to be online. So you don't like it?

I remember I got my hair done at this place. And this place, they literally post like good work or best work, work that they did that day. Hair.

They did my hair. And no, it didn't look good. But they took the picture, they did the video, and then they didn't post it. And I was like, I wonder why. I wonder why. Is that a drag on me or a drag on you? Because you didn't do a good job.

And then I went back to that place and they did my hair again. And I'm waiting. I'm like, are you going to post? What's up? You went with your makeup done and everything? No. You went in a full beat? I did not go in a full beat, but I had concealer on.

I had enough that's like, I had like a cute little track outfit where they could have did a little video and posted it in the stories. Yeah. Yeah. And they didn't do that. some of us don't want it on but then if you make it a thing where we're posting everybody and then you don't post me now i feel some type of way everything doesn't need to be content everything doesn't need to be content you know um yeah i made an appointment to get when i went made an

appointment to get my hair done it was like at the very end it was like do you consent to being on video for this appointment and i said yes and then when i got there the camera wasn't set up and i didn't say nothing because i was like actually this people don't i showed up looking like samuel Jackson in Django with the hair right here and I said yeah they didn't need to see that before because you know I left my house with no hat no bandana no nothing because I was like oh I'm just gonna run in and out yeah I'm gonna run into the car and then I'm gonna run out when I get there I get there the car drops me off around the corner I can't find the place it's raining she wasn't ready my throat is shrinking I look like a young Michael Jackson he wasn't ready y'all and it was

dudes on you know it was dudes on the corner like looking at me while I'm trying to find this thing my sister called me on um whatsapp and she was like damn when she picked up and I was like yeah I gotta get inside where is the door um so you know everything doesn't need to be posted but also you should be able to sign like a little release or a waiver that's like I'm cool with you posting me or I'm not well everybody also is trying to get their work out because now everything is like it's all social media based like oh you'll probably go to somebody based off like how many people were commenting like oh I went here this was great like or somebody recommended you and so you know if if the work is good and you post it it might make people want to go but

I remember I went to go see my friend uh to do my hair and then at the salon somebody else was like doing eyebrows and so she was like oh I'm gonna you know I'll get you a hookup they'll do your eyebrows all you got to do is tip them and so then they do my eyebrows I said did you do my eyebrows I don't know I didn't I didn't really it wasn't a difference I didn't it was it was fine it wasn't terrible but it wasn't like it wasn't it didn't wow me right I've gone and got my eyebrows or whatever done before and I was like damn bitch I look like a brand new girl it wasn't given that so then the friend turns around was like hey are you gonna post this person I said post what what is there to post like if i post this i don't know if this is gonna bring this person any business

you know and so then it was kind of like oh well you know they feel some type of i was like well yes you did but i i gave you a good tip whatever but it's also like hey we're in the business of if i pay you that's that's it that's the payment transaction is over yeah that's it like i don't i don't have to tag everybody i don't even tag friends of mine oh yeah the tagging thing is yeah yeah because like i'm tagging you for is this a sponsored post yeah because we're making money that's the thing it's like right now this is the business of everything is could be payment in a way like if you have followers if you have people who come to your shows you got like fans that are that are ride or die that if you post that they're pulling

up so it's like yeah i want i obviously want people to get business but also i'm like if i paid you that's that's the business you got my coins no but if i'm if i'm paying you for service then that's and if somebody asks me like where did you get that or what is that i'll tell them yeah but i'm not making a post for you on the page that says i went here and thank you for like this like people brands pay for that yeah people spend money for that like you want me to send you my rate card oh that was that and it's crazy because that's in um that's a part of this messy or living segment this uh guy who is a what is like computer tech or whatever like fixes computers he's like am i a bad person because my niece wants me to fix

the computer for free and it's like hey i already i already hooked you up before this is my actual job yeah you have to pay me and it's like this is not mess creating a boundary with people that's like this is my job you need to give me money right maybe not full price but you need to give me something no i think he was like hey i didn't i didn't hook you up enough this is a you're Whatever happened with your computer is way beyond repair. Like, you really need to, if you want me to work on it, I need my full fee because it's not easy to fix a computer. I know I can't fix a computer.

I'll be leaning on that power button, hoping it restarts, and I'm like, doo-doo-doo, and it comes back, right? I'm praying. You'll be hoping that that little globe doesn't pop up when you restart the laptop. Oh, my God. When the little time, the time thing comes up, and it's like. Oh, the hourglass?

When the hourglass show up, hey, you're gone to the Genius Bar because your shit is done. I did date a little nerd, a little nerdy dude for a little while. And anytime I had any type of issue with tech or whatever, I would text him and or call him. And what'd he say? He would do it. He would try. Well, what was you, was you, were y'all hooking up? Yeah, we, I was literally sitting on him.

Yeah. So, yeah, he was fixing up. But listen, now, if I didn't hit you off with some good, good, you will not be getting a dime from me. Oh, babe. That is the payment. Hey, can you come pick up my laptop? It's not working. Miss you.

I love that for you. No, I mean, it's, you know, it's dead and gone. But, you know, we went we've been through that. He's no longer my genius bar. He's no longer my genius bar is. That's great. OK, so here's another one. And this is this is from a minute ago, but it was really interesting because I was really surprised by this.

Actually, Whoopi Goldberg was celebrating her birthday and she ordered like these specific like cakes from this bakery. And it was like her, you know, a big birthday. And she, you know, put in the order. I think she even said her name and the bakery was like, oh, we can't do the cakes or blah, blah, blah. Like we we can't accommodate you or something of that sort. and so she she being probably what we go over was like huh i wonder why they can't accommodate me this is weird so then she got somebody else to do the order through another name and they was able to accommodate her so then she goes on the view and says what happened and basically they

found out who this bakery was and all hell broke loose i think the bakery like even is like suing her for defamation or whatever but she say their name she never said their name she never said her name but i i would like to be like we'll be i'm not going around i know she was trying to be petty but it's like oh you just not getting my business like i was about to hit you off and if you're if your cakes are popping you could get more promo but she said that she thinks that they didn't want do her cake because they don't believe in her political views oh yeah maybe you know she does have a pretty loud view on the view the view is the view she be viewing up on the view she got a she got a view on the view don't know how to view like whoopi view whoopi is going to have a view

whoopi has a view the whoopi view is for real the whoopi view like this it's all me and my it's all it's an all-cap view view i think that we we go to the internet for so many things like if somebody do you wrong if you in a bad relationship you're like I'm gonna go live or I'm gonna post on TikTok yeah or and or I have a TV show I'm gonna talk about it or we on the podcast we're gonna drag them and it's like when is there a line where you're like actually let's not let's not do that why should there be a line we live in a time where everybody's sharing everything about themselves so what happened at your birthday party like show us like what's up and something and I'll say this Marie, would you like that?

If somebody comes to, I don't know, your comedy show and they felt some type of way and then they got online and was like, you want that? Well, what are they saying? What are they talking about? They didn't have a good time. She called me ugly. Well, that's the brand, babe.

I call everybody at the shows ugly and or poor. So, you know, I've done that in theaters with thousands of people and I'll be like, hey, ugly. And they'll be like, we are ugly. So if you come into the show, that's what you're going to get. But we're going to be entertained. I think a lot of times we're posting stuff on socials and blah, blah, blah. But we're not naming names.

But the people who watch, dig, and then they find the thing or the person that you're talking about. And now it's a problem. But I didn't say your name. You know, like when Risa Tisa was giving us her whole 72 part thing, she never said Legion's real name. I thought she, but she never said his name. She called him, but she just called him Legion. She called him Legion. but that wasn't the real that wasn't his real name yeah and um and the girl who was dating the

guy from the man from atlanta she never said his name she said the man from atlanta gave me this baby and left me high and dry and then he took it upon himself to make a response video and it's like you could have been anonymous like i think legion came out and spoke out about uh what's her face that guy who did the the netflix show baby reindeer the woman came out and said that she was a suing him he didn't use her real name everybody is watching these things and hearing these things and seeing this stuff go viral and they're like well i want a piece of that pie and it's like you could have just been embarrassed in the shadows but you wanted to i don't know embarrassed in the shadows is it's a tough one that's merch embarrassed in the shadow

embarrassed in the shadows because you're just like i want i want to clear my name but you don't but you don't need to we don't know who you are until you tell us who you are i know who i am and i need i can't sleep at night because you didn't drag me from selma and back but now you're embarrassed in the light wouldn't you rather be embarrassed in the shadows but the thing is is that you know the the people online they are better private investigators than the private investigators when i tell you they get on like zoom they find out who you talking about okay if you do a little like you do a story time and you you post like a little corner of a rest they already know the restaurant they know the coordinates they know who who was a chef that

night people are wild so it's like you do kind of have to be careful with the way you present something because even if you don't say their name we could do context clues we're not dumb we live in new york city and i think she came on the show and brought the actual cakes and they they make the cake specifically a certain way and they were like hell bitch not you bringing

your product on our show and then saying that we didn't like you because blah blah blah now I love that she's like I have a show

how dare you not service me you're insane actually I'm not mad at that Whoopi said let me eat cake let me eat cake

that's the opposite of Marie Antoinette she did what she needed to do should we read a message yes finally messages good old messages let's do it okay the first one is titled x's and double standards bs okay hey ladies i've got some mess for you and could really use some advice i've been following you for years and i'm so happy for your success and all the positive vibes you put out you see that's any positive vibes um positive ugly vibes no um so here's the thing i've got a lot of mess in my life and i think it's all

material for therapy but this one is juicy and i need your insight now i don't think you're supposed to view your life as material for therapy but that means you definitely need therapy if you think your your stuff is material are you a comedian yeah because i actually i do treat comp but like my therapy as material okay i'm remarried with a baby and i've been with my husband for almost four years he's also divorced okay adults he still keeps in touch with his ex though it's much less frequent now i think she finally got the hint that he's moved on and needs to get on with her life for context she's white okay though i mentioned this because i do feel like some of this behavior might be cultural okay because you know how they do okay in the past she

would randomly message him for all sorts of reasons catching up talking about her pet complaining about her toe even needing help with spotify to access old playlists i get it some people can stay friends with their exes but what really bothers me from an independent feminist perspective is the lack of respect she seems to have she mentioned how much she misses spending time with him his family and their old trips together oh she wanted that old thing back if i were in her shoes i wouldn't be reaching out like that i have too much pride if someone divorced me i want to move on and not keep clinging to the past honestly i dropped the last name too if i was dumped the last thing i want is a reminder of that relationship but what really gets me is that if she's okay with

staying friends and reaching out then i should be included in the conversation especially not her wanted to be added to the group chat she wanted to be the third god damn she said put me in coach uh especially when she once practically harassed him into staying at her place for wine and cookies he got weirded out by that and stopped engaging and i think she finally got the message she's trying to bang your man sis yes and she's like girl you can't tell i'm trying to bang your man stop getting in between wine and cookies what what what pairs well with chocolate chip shibbly like girl what yes you have a little merlot and a double chocolate chip a little sugar cookie and sugar cookie and gruner is merch um now fast forward he needed to return some of

her stuff and he was surprised by her cold response and that she didn't even want to ask about his new baby instead he goes on to tell me how good and healthy she looks if i said something like that about my ex who by the way worked out every day he would totally take offense and get jealous but when I poke fun of him reacting to his story I am expected to just nod along I've seen her pics from the messages he has shared with me how he has described her and I know I'm beautiful and tough as concrete but it's the principle and the double standard that bothers me you know what I mean it's exhausting having to explain this over and over to him anyway reading it it's under three minutes love you girls so yeah sis she

she trying to hook up with your boo and why she wait he didn't want you to talk about wait he was telling you how good she looks what's i don't like none of this this is mess obviously and and sister you know that that's why you wrote this to us um this is this is all on this is how you can handle this i think as somebody who i famously am cool with my exes as a lesbian um but as a person who you know understands boundaries i feel like he knows this is this is his mess he needs to fix this he needs to either tell her hey you're close to getting blocked my wife doesn't like this this is not cool you have to contact me during business hours that's 10 a.m to 5 p.m after that there's no mosque hey what do you need what what are we

doing here like you're just trying to chit chat yeah i'm we can't be chit chatting is it like is is it my birthday your birthday like is your did your mom die like what's up like we're on a need to know basis every six months this can't be a every month we why are you texting him that's your toe hurt she want him my toe hurt because you need to be back in my life that's what she's trying to say you could heal my toe with a little bit of your no i'm kidding you know the remedy for her toe that dick that dick yeah exactly so this is as much as you're getting upset this is on him you can't you can't even get mad at her because it's not him he's not putting his foot down she might not know how weird this is if he's not telling her or if she's not even if he's telling

her is weird and she's not respecting that yeah he needs to block yeah i don't do they they don't have kids together do they no i don't think so they're just they just used to be girl tell him to block her and see and then tell us what happens then yeah get back to us on that because this is unacceptable and i'm i'm fully against if you don't like it at all then he shouldn't love it oh he shouldn't you don't like it he shouldn't love it nope okay here's another one um where is it at okay looking for advice hey siddha marie long time listener first time emailer here's the deal a few months ago i found myself in a pretty complicated spot i'm in a relationship that started off amazing but over time it became more and more tangled we'll call him james for the sake

of clarity he's a great person and i love him but we're just not clicking like we used to to make things worse i recently realized that i'm starting to develop feelings for someone else evan okay evan you know i'm not mad at men with ease you know evan is someone i met through work and we became close friends it wasn't intentional but as time has gone on my feelings for him have only gotten stronger and it's been confusing i've tried to push it down tell myself it's just a phase but i can't ignore it anymore here's where it gets even messier i don't want to hurt james and hurt him no i'm kidding he's such a kind and loving person and i don't want to be the one who ends things but on the other hand i feel like i'm not being fair to him staying in a relationship where

i'm not fully invested anymore and on top of that i feel like i'm betraying him by having feelings for someone else i've tried talking to my friends about it but their advice has been all over the place okay you could you know how your friends are you know when you tell your friends what they gonna tell you and it's usually stuff that you can't use some think i should be honest with james while others tell me I should take a step back and sort out my feelings before making any decision. Here's the part that has me really stuck. What if I'm just chasing something that isn't real?

What if this thing with Evan is just a distraction or worse, something I'm imagining to avoid facing the issues with James? I feel so lost. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I can't keep going like this either. Oh, the drama, girl. You were writing this down. Thank you so much.

how do i figure out whether i'm truly unhappy in my current relationship or if i'm just confused and what do i even do if i decide to end things with james how do i even handle that kind of conversation without causing irreversible damage i know i'm not the only one um i know i'm not the only one who can make the decision but i'm really struggling with where to go from here any advice would be helpful love y'all so they're with james but they like evan but they don't know if evan likes them i they you know it's that thing when you're like i'm she might be getting something from evan that she's not getting from james so it feels more intense than what it really is evan could just be like yo i'm just i'm just chilling with my homie like i usually do but he's

you know writing back maybe a little bit quicker or you know making plans and things of the sort so it's making her feel like oh we might got something going on but you probably are just it's probably just a distraction but regardless of that it's like you gotta end one thing to do something else so it's clear that your heart is not with with James so you should move on time is time is precious well hold on hold on don't tell them to move on too quick do you live with James oh you're asking the right questions paying the rent what where does Evan work how do we know evan from church from school from does he live in the building like because if you leave james you're moving in with evan like what what's gonna happen um but it says james is a great person and

i love him but we're just not clicking like we used to is it like james has gotten comfortable he not planning date nights no more like is that a conversation that could happen and then we can yeah but you know can we get james and you look at him at the side of your eye you're like you ugly like that like if that and that happens that happens where you don't where you fall out of love with somebody and you be looking at them like why did i even talk to you if you feel like that yeah that's gonna be hard to come back from i'm not even gonna lie no it is no you're 100% right when you got that fucking ick were you like how how did this start how did i get involved well that's how i know when something is over like when they start to look ugly to me i've been like oh

Okay, I'm done here. And hey, we got to move past this. I don't want to hurt nobody. Hey, we grown. People feelings, they going to get hurt. We're at the age where just because your feelings hurt is hurt, it doesn't mean that what happened didn't need to happen. Listen, feelings are going to get hurt.

But you know what hurts more? Wasting that person's time. That is always going to hurt. The longer you take to rip the Band-Aid off, or the longer you take to realize what you want or don't want, the more that person is going to be invested. so you gotta let them go it seems like or maybe at least tell james like hey i'm not feeling x y and z can you work on this like give james a head out um before you head out like a little you know

you said give james head out no no no oh before you before you head out give james a little you know performance update hey a performance review yeah um you know you're you're right now you're at a seven you're at a seven nah i'm more like a six you're at a six no you gotta start it's gotta be like a like a like a compliment sandwich start up top something you love about james hey babe you know i really love that you're kind and loving you're kind and loving and i love you but you know sometimes it seems like you take me for granted yeah you know i'm in here cooking you got me making alfredo every day or whatever the hell you cooking over there i don't know what you make a friend you got me cooking and i feel like you're taking you know i just feel like i'm

not being appreciated or i feel like we're not clicking how we used to you know is that something and then and with a little or maybe it's just open face use the compliment is at the top and then the sandwich is insult is at the bottom i don't know whatever but should we talk to evan at all don't tell evan hey evan what's up it's time nothing to do with evan because it's like even if you do if you do feel like you should be with evan or even interested in you got to finish The James thing You gotta finish the James Before you can have your Evan

Finish the James Before you get to your Evan baby And that's how it is But maybe send Evan A message in invisible ink Like what's up Or just the eyes The eyes

When you send those eyes They know what's up They secretly know what's up You don't have to say much With the eyes The eyes say everything Wait send the eyes They'll be like

Wow We did that Yeah I mean it's another one But I think we need to save it For next week Yeah we should We need to save these messages.

But, you know, you guys are doing better. I'm proud of you. Thank you. These were good messages. Wow. Send us more. How about that? Is there anything we need to hit before we go, friend?

Something to add to the prayer list? Yeah. Oh, we already, you know, I need an apartment, need more money, need to get organized. You need your papers in order and your clothes put away. I'll put that down. Yeah, and I want less mess. I want more mess for the pod, less mess in my life. How about that?

Less mess for Sid. Mm-hmm. And I want petty Sidney. You want petty Sidney? Yeah. Girl, you don't want me to be petty. Well, not petty with me. Because I got something right now that I could be petty about, but I'm not.

I don't want to do it on air. Yeah. And on that note. To be continued. Ooh. Go to the Patreon. Okay, friend. Love this for us.

Bye, James. Bye. Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcasts. Created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani.

Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcasts at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.