MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - A Very Mestie Christmas w/ Langston Kerman

Episode Date: December 25, 2025

This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by LANGSTON KERMAN!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS MESSTIES! The three chat neighbor mess, holidays, and more.  ALSO -- a special holiday treat for y'all -- check out FOUR of the best episodes from season one NOW ON YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess Finally, see the full-length episodes for Caleb Hearon, Zack Fox, Mary Beth Barone, and Kareem Rahma! Next week will be season two's first full-length episode.  And don't forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you listening to mess no no let's do it again let's do it again hi hi ho ho ho i'm just gonna let marie do it Happy Holidays Happy Holidays Kwanzaa Hanukkah And one more And one

There's What's the other one? What's the last one? Christmas Christmas You can hit Christmas Kwanzaa Hanukkah

Yeah I just I was hoping it was more You wanted to hear it Oh okay What do Muslims celebrate Around this time? Oh they don't They don't

They do something They don't do nothing I don't know No I don't think They celebrate anything Well shout out to y'all too Happy Y'all happy y'all

happy y'all you deserve it Muslims don't celebrate birthdays either right they don't no no no it's the Jehovah's Witnesses

do not celebrate birthdays same same another word for poor is that what it is Jehovah's Witnesses poor you heard it here first

folks tis the season to call people poor in this economy we're all poor you just burned a nasty bridge a nasty

at the top stop knocking on my fucking door on Saturdays No, they're going to knock longer now. No, no. They're like, we all coming to your house. They come.

I look at my screen. It's just these nice ladies in sweaters. And I almost want to let them in. And then I'm like, are you ready for when Jesus comes back? No. Oh, wow. Was it Friday after next? When the Jehovah's Witnesses were talking to them and he cursed them out.

And they started cursing them back. Don't play with those old black church ladies. My mom used to invite them in. inside yeah we she would like she at one point was having like a weekly bible study with the jehovah witnesses that would walk our neighborhood oh your mother was bored huh yeah she was bored i think so yeah i think that's a nice way of putting it yeah mom absolutely no she wasn't that at all she just i think is is a little bit of um a showman but doesn't want to be on a stage anywhere she just wants um to be that in life you know what i mean to activate it at all times and

i think for her it felt like a cool like i'm i am building community and that community will will know me as such old church ladies yeah and your mother is black yeah she's a black lady yeah yeah it's different okay my black occasion my black mom was not doing anything my mom's from detroit Watch it Watch it You're a monster of Detroit? Yeah That's a hood lady

Oh Come on in Y'all niggas want some coffee? I got time to hear a word on the Lord How you like it? Black? We don't do milk Because the devil

No Yeah I think she was like Black ladies They're nice Come on in I was like Vibes

Vibes Damn Sydney Maybe for the new year We need to be nicer to All black ladies All of them Even the annoying ones and knock on the door at inopportune times.

Yes. I will do that. You know how my building is. People keep stealing packages, so I'm just scared. I can't let anybody in. Maybe they're stealing them because you're not giving enough to your community. Oh, hey, a way to look at it. They stealing because they needed more than you.

And I have to look at it. That yoga mat that you ordered, they need it more. Maybe that next time they're going to look at that package, they're going to see Sidney Washington written up there, and they're going to go, not today. That's the homie. Nah, she keeps us safe. And I just want you to know, they would use those mats way more than I am right now.

I'm not using them at all. And they knew that about you. Yeah, I should actually just put them out in the front. Be like, come on, girl. Namaste. Namaste. Multiple namaste. Multiple, multiple.

Plural. Plural. Wow. Marie, what's going on? What's your mess this week? Oh, my mess is a friend of ours' mess. I would like to share that here. I feel like this is a safe space

So We're in a group chat With somebody I'm not going to say her name But She texted us the other day And was like Hey I just got to the airport

And The line to drop my bag off Was too long But the wheelchair line Was open So she went To the wheelchair side Requested a chair

And then Dropped her bag off Then As they're pushing her And she's sending us A photo of her In the chair With the lady behind her

And she posted it story yo and she said they stopped at starbucks and she was the first one aboard the flight because they wheeled her on and threw her on a chair and then hey dog i've never once in my life listen i've never once in my life thought i should just jump on the wheelchair like it seems wrong for sure it seems wrong they don't do that at delta they don't do that that that was definitely frontier southwest i don't know i i think we have reached a place in society where we have no right to tell somebody that they don't need that chair that they say they need and that's exactly what she said she said she's i said what did you tell them you needed it for and she said they're not

allowed to ask you i said so you walked to the county yeah surprise surprise mind you while she's texting us back while she's texting us she was like i want to cross my legs but i don't think that future wheelchair while there's going to be an influx of people using them wheelchairs at the airport. I think you guys are

opening a nasty. We are. This is not going to be good. But if that line is about to be long during Christmas. Listen, if you are at the airport

and you request a wheelchair, please tag masks. Please. Yeah. Send us a photo. Go live. So she made it on the plane and then a friend

in the group chat was like, you know, you have to wait for them to take you off. Like you're going to be the last one off the plane now that's right and she said listen i'm walking off this plane and she did she walked off the plane good for her he stout to the people waiting with the chairs that's the thing they all they're doing is holding the sign they're just concierge if you walk right

past them they don't know they don't know it's a miracle photo also you might need the wheelchair because your sugar is low maybe you got a charlie horse or maybe you're pregnant so you don't have to necessarily be disabled you know you could be temporary disabled for that moment or maybe you made a deal with the devil in the sky and now you're back the devil in the sky that's what the jehovah's witnesses was telling your mom well i wasn't expecting you guys to um not put that comma there and so oh the devil comma in the sky you're interpreting my language a little different than i intended i don't believe that there is a devil in the sky i i find my devil at the bottom i'm sorry to be that brave on your program whoa uh to get provocative in the way that we are

now but for me devil on the bottom on the bottom the lord on top that is how i've arranged it devil a bottom and god is a top you know what and excuse me and i'm sorry to cut you off there but that's none of my business No, no, it's the business that you spoke about. I've been informed we're not allowed to ask that. Oh. So. And Ella, you didn't ask.

You stated. So you know. Certainly I ask it in my head, but that's none of my business to ask it in person. You're a dreamer. And I love that for you. I'm not the only one. You know who else is a dreamer? Our friend in the wheelchair.

Yeah, let's go. I could not. All of the times that I've ever been to the airport, I've maybe been late 88% of the time. Sure. and never once have i been like a chair with wheels on it is going to be faster to get to the gate yeah oh and i have time to grab a snack never once no it's crazy it's it's um this is innovation this is moving an industry forward this person should uh have a plaque of of them in a wheelchair and making that michael jackson from thriller face you know what i mean like

the wheelchair should be facing backwards and she should be looking at us over her shoulder you know what i'm doing but it's weird because the people who push they never seem like they're in a rush no no sense of urgency so i want to know how did she make it on time you skip everything well they close they close bag check backdrop an hour before doors or something like that yeah so she just made it in so she had time and also you skip every line you get the whole thing is expedited yeah yeah okay i might have to try this airport hack yeah i might if you don't have to be checked or global again you guys i don't think you should be recommending it we're not recommending i'm saying hey it might work for you at your airport if it's something that you're thinking

about let us know if it works yeah yeah that's all sure and i'm saying push through that's my Christmas gift to y'all. No, actually, roll through. Roll out. Let somebody else push you through. When you get in the wheelchair, say, Autobots! Roll out! Love, love.

Not mad at that. Call the person pushing you, Bumblebee. Megatron, stop here. I like that skirt. Try it on for me, baby. i can't stand up but she can and she did she walked right off that southwest really did it's so funny to push somebody all the way to the end and they go all right my nigga yeah thank you so much right i know she didn't give that

person a tip which you're supposed to do you're supposed to tip you gotta tip the wheelchair yeah absolutely they pushed you like a mile what are you talking about whoa whoa what if i got them something to eat at starbucks i know she didn't that might be that might be knowing her i got you a little egg bite i know she didn't yeah knowing her i think she asked hey you want something and they said that they're like can i get your card oh you think she asked if you want something and that's what a card you need my memo you know how she is no yes i'm gonna text her hey yeah sydney what was your mess this week let's what was my mess this week i have so much i've messed from many weeks ago but it's christmas and uh this is coming out on christmas but happy birthday to him

yeah he's up there by the way we fall down but we get up uh oh holy night is that for him is that for him for who jesus yeah that's when he first got here you're literally on his birthday on his Yeah, that's what that night is all about Was that the same book that Did I read the same book as y'all? I don't believe so Your sounds shorter She's sitting here by the Torah

Mine's is from What's his name? Quan Mills Shout out to Quan Mills Quan Mills of Jesus Christ Quan Mills He deserves He deserves a lot of our love

What do you deserve? He is introducing a type of playfulness in the nigga literature space that we have not yet seen. Why is it that? I thought it would be African-American literature. No, it's different. I distinguish those. Yeah, I think there's African-American literature that white people know exists. I think there's literature and I think there's nigga literature.

oh you separate i'm separating that it's one big chunk versus uh it's black yeah but then it's two different arms yep because we're not a monolith so yeah no i mean kwan mills there's a z in his name you already know the books is gonna be they the characters i've never read any of the books but i feel like the characters the the font the text is written how they talk our mutual friend zach fox has struck up a bit of a relationship with kwan mills no way he would do some shit and has received a number of books and it's the only time i've ever been jealous of another person so honestly i would pay money for zach to read kwan mills out loud like each chapter he literally has been doing he's doing that he's been doing it at our live shows is reading chapters from

from kwan mill i guess i gotta go to one of your live shows yeah come to la don't fuck with us come record in a way worse office we don't have glass listen we don't want this glass we're in a fishbowl right now you all should line up people outside and make it treated like uh the to go yeah yeah no no no the people who are at their desk they look at us and they're like look at people who have dreams and then look at us if the camera whoever's editing the clip if you can zoom in on the sad lady back there this is a nasty way to speak

they can't hear soundproof they're all they're all what if this whole thing is being pumped out there that's what y'all it's messed up y'all excited yeah we should have an audience you guys one thing we know for sure is those girls love us yeah not the way we be stealing their snacks oh i would love some okay back to me so my man right juan mills distracted us uh he did shout out to him but yeah so obviously i've already bought the gifts that i need to buy for my significant other uh but she did put something on a list that it's an asterisk to it she has provocative yes she's let me lean in allegedly she's never had a threesome before allegedly oh allegedly alleged no she hasn't she hasn't okay she hasn't had one before

and what it started off saying i had a dream about it and now it's like would you do that and uh she's trying to activate that thing she says she's listen she's a very forward person yeah and she she said i don't know i've never had one i wonder how it is and then she asked me have you and i was like oh yeah lynn you know okay at least two do you do you wish you would responded differently no oh you like that you were honest yes because i'm like wait why you never had one before but oh so you welcome this idea you said what's wrong with you yeah i have not had a threesome no length ever no i've never heard written passages from kwan mills aloud but you've never had a threesome okay length never seen two pairs of titties on the record same time off the

record we're we're covering the mic no no i i'll be a man about this yeah i ain't never had one is that just standard everybody's had one except me and sydney's alleged yeah yeah i i think i it's not that it hasn't uh presented itself it has but to pursue it i would have had to be uh treating another person bad do you know what i mean like i was like in a situation person bad oh you would have had to cheat on somebody yeah i would have had to like that's not how threesomes work the person didn't say hey you want to have a threesome with none of my partners have ever presented the option people outside of my relationship have presented the option and i i got titties at home i actually i have my own titties she's like yeah but in the house titties

it's not the same as outside and i and i said i agree with you ma'am you're you're probably a hundred percent right well you called her ma'am so she probably was like actually no thank you no it's still like i swear to god i'll show them to you and then i went damn okay so you've never had one um i i've had a couple and uh i was thinking i was like this is before say say sorry i'm sorry it was a joke how many think you think i've had at least three no two only two that's it yes two two just once um well one it was not one was not a threesome it was more like i feel like if it's five people what's that whoa that's more than a threesome girl that's a that's a threesome with distinction

That threesome Summa cum laude That's a threesome With honors babe That's a threesome At a community college It's a threesome At a community college

Because you know Math is hard No no no No no no You That's why you reacted The way you did to me You were saying

That you've excelled At this in a way I've not excelled AP threesome First of all I just want to Let me set the scene first of all i'm in roosevelt island that's not good roosevelt island you don't want to be there

roosevelt how do we get here there are sexier islands how do we get to roosevelt but i will say the apartment was very nice sure and yes yeah but it was it was a condo it was very nice very large yeah uh floor to ceiling windows and what about the participants um they were like power rangers because that's how many you had okay yes there was a black ranger there was a black ranger there was a white ranger there was a white ranger there was a whiter ranger and then the whitest ranger there was the little chocolate drop yeah man i was the little mix and it was like you were living a dangerous life why they're skipping jordan peele presents excuse me get out get out It was actually called Get In.

It was called Is It In? Get in to my car and out of my... Nope, you got it flipped. And it would have been great if you got it right. It would have been great if you got it right. What do you mean? It stunk the way you said it. What the fuck?

It's actually, I would have accepted Get Out of My Car and Into My Ass. Oh, no, I didn't do that at that time. Oh, that's right. During that era. Shout out If your wife is listening Hey I'm sorry

I'm talking to him about this But this is all She don't She is cool She don't care She loves y'all Oh she not Is she gonna listen to this

Probably not No But she'll watch the clips She's educated She's gonna watch the clips Hey sis She's a lawyer Why would she listen to me

My wife Doesn't consume Any media Besides Beyonce She don't really She's not She doesn't Care

About anything But you know what That's good Self care yeah she like every day is sending me videos of like how we can um love our children better and better the world and you watch the clips or you just double tap no sometimes sometimes yeah because sometimes because some of it is like uh here are the six choking hazards you didn't know were choking hazards you're like all right well then every he's gonna die

what do you want me to do if that's how i have to live my life is read she wants you to read i don't know there were six choking habits yeah i didn't know that i'm hazard i'm saying like uh that's the the types of videos i received we don't have to think about that since we ain't got no kids well sis how many times have you almost choked i choked on a lucky charm once i thought i was gonna die yeah scary shit and i have a charm so hard for people you had to wait for the marshmallow to melt Well, it's already melted by the time it gets to your throat. So you're being dramatic.

I almost died. I almost died. Oh, thank God that rainbow's out of there. I said, oh, my God. Ain't nothing lucky about these charms. Out of gold. It was a balloon. It was a balloon.

anywho the five some or whatever it wasn't it wasn't that great because it was like do i get in they got in but then i was like i don't know one guy had a really big one and the other one it was like are we gonna pretend and so it was the vibes were off because did y'all pretend did y'all go oh we all looked like damn who got him oh it was like an unfortunate size yeah having the small dick at the threesome that's a brave choice yeah for sure because he knew before he took his clothes off what he what he was gonna he knew what he had but he might not have known what the other guy was bringing to the but they were friends they were promoters but you're also at least from what your description i do think we should be clear about this you're saying it

would be a disappointing size regardless of it being compared to another size yes that's that sucks so he went in full david versus goliath missed like a motherfucker showed it showed it and then you can see when because there's like a little trolley thing that that you know to get to a tram the tram we could see the tram like going back and forth and whenever he was like doing it we would just be watching the tram because oh i well i thought you were gonna say the lights of the tram would illuminate his little you turned off all the lights but every once in a while you get a little flash wow maybe that did happen yeah i'm just remembering you just say a little dick like

a batman villain if you're at a threesome or an orgy right now you're listening to this i hope your dick big um all the penises are big i hope your fan base is listening to you while they have that's cool mess man we're not size queens here it's beginning to look a lot like christmas we're not size queens but you called it little sis well it matters you literally told us it was it was a period period uh but yeah so i was thinking i was like obviously it didn't happen because well honestly you know what i was thinking i was like should i do a threesome for should that be a christmas gift but i was like it doesn't feel it doesn't feel like very jesus like it doesn't feel christian well jesus was visited by three wise men three wise men

that is a threesome yeah okay i'm not speaking about the lord that way but yeah but they didn't listen but the yeah that's not really where i'm going in this conversation the baby jesus see how they keep going i ain't even gonna do that Quan Mills, Quan Mills, get in on this. Quan Mills presenting. Quan Mills, Bethlehem. Now, see, I play this way on my own podcast, but you fine black women who listen to this,

y'all deserve more respect. It sounds like your mom's Jehovah's Witness. I don't need none of your fans coming for me. No, it would never. Because I tagged in on the Lord. It was in a baby threesome. I didn't say a baby threesome. I said the three wise men was fresh off a threesome

when they came to visit the Lord. No, no, no. That's called running a train. I didn't think of it like that, Marie. Wow. You are really pushing it, lady. Whoa, lady. Lady.

I could have called you ma'am. Lady. You think they were blowing each other's backs out and then somebody rushed in and said, hey, he's here. And they said, Marcus, get off of me. Get your head out of my pocket.

The tram went by. They said, oh. That's why you act like that. That's why you're giving him murder. I want to know, how did the three wise men know that the baby Jesus was born? They got a text. They got a text. They did not.

Shut up. How did they, like, was there a bird in the sky? My understanding is that they were like fans and they had been sort of like keeping track and then had heard that the God was coming and were searching for them. Yeah. it was an evite evite it was a partiful yes going maybe not going a lot of fun sort of emojis moving in the background it was mangers those partyful invites um sort of feel um bad does it does anybody else feel that way you look

at it you go this looks like shit no no no it doesn't look like it looks like dog shit no no No, I like that I see the people who are coming. Good. So I know not to come. But I just, I think if you think that a partiful was enough, no, you're going to have to personally text me as well. You can't just send me these partifles because I get sent partifles all the time. Every day.

Every day y'all get one? It feels like every other day somebody's doing something and it's like, whose thing is this? God damn, I ain't got no friends. It's friends, it's businesses. The dispensary that I work with sometimes will send me stuff and I'll be like, I'm not go into that yeah yeah you know but we got off the rails is it mess for you to give a threesome as a gift for christmas yes would you do that i would only do it if i hadn't purchased the gift marie oh my god i didn't get him anything wait remember my friend sydney no

don't worry she's been here before and i don't make people come she won't finish the job but then you'll get what you need he said it won't be a white christmas it'll be red oh oh no oh no you had to make it nasty sorry you know what for the girls yeah for the girls i will say i think that it's not mess as long as that's not the only gift i think if it's the only gift that's crazy but if you like you know get her a fucking uh bluetooth and that that that's pretty cool and here you guys have it this is a married man langston kerman is here yeah that's how i want to be known the last time we actually had the pod yeah it was in full full effect salmon teriyaki

everybody knows everybody knows about cemetery legendary tale if people comment about that regularly yes even now yes yeah to this day they'd be like we did an episode a couple weeks ago and And somebody in the comments was like, this reminds me of the Langston salmon teriyaki. Oh, shit. That's crazy. People said you were phenomenal the way you handled it. It is one of my finer moments. I will say that, like, I really y'all were falling apart.

We were. You you melted down in front of me in a way that that felt like it was starting to dig into moments of like, hold on, man, this is this is getting personal. We're feeling nasty to each other. was hangry yeah i just wanted to finish the episode sydney kept having to get up because she was getting salmon teriyaki delivered while we were recording they were late it was not my fault it was uber eats the part you missed is that she already arrived i think like an insane amount of time late to begin with right because of the salmon teriyaki right hey guys this was all on zoom and this was during the pandemic so one marie knows what it is to be late so i'm surprised that

she was upset and also it was like where else is still the reaction where did y'all have to go you all haven't even healed from it you wanted to get off where were you going you couldn't leave the house this has been four years you're not even fixed listen i'm not upset about it sydney sam and teriyaki is triggering for her this is crazy that this is still we didn't jump remember she got up to get the food and then she came back with no food and she was like it wasn't it wasn't he wasn't here no she first she he wasn't there and then she came back and then within minutes he called and then she got into a screaming argument with this man she's screaming at this man angry angry because he hasn't dropped it off in the right place

and then you went downstairs yeah you got the cemetery and then and then marie demanded that you eat the same teriyaki you're like was it worth it is it good and then exactly she she rubbed your face in it when you went it ain't even that good it's cold for everything that we went through it was not worth it and then you kept saying it was you kept saying it was cold and that you wanted to heat it up but you didn't want to be get yelled at for having to interrupt the podcast again it was it was it was a true nightmare your mind works uh because i forgot everything except the fact that you know she ordered it during during the pod what a journey i mean a quest i just want i just want everybody to know right i that was a different time and you know what let me do this

i'm sorry marie oh my god that i disrespected the pod during you know hard times i will not i'll try not to do that again and langston i'm sorry you were in the miss you were a guest we didn't even treat you like a guest i don't even think there was a proper intro i don't think we've ever treated him like a guest that's not true that is the reason they don't do virtual episodes they bring this that episode you guys yeah and they make up as to why this current season of the show doesn't you can't even do any virtual episode yeah are you serious i just don't want to do zoom episodes it's not it don't hit the same they really don't no we gave that up it's like there's a delay there's no chemistry yeah you're you're asking a stranger

to like vibe with you before they even know how you play. Right. And like when you walk in a room with somebody, you can kind of be like, oh, I see what your shoulders

are doing. I know what this, I know what this energy is going to be. I know what type of time you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see your shoes.

You know, if you came in and you like respect me or not. Yeah, no, you didn't even dress up. Okay, I get it. Yeah, okay. It's going to be one of those. Okay, like gray sweatpants

in the morning. Cool. Okay. Love it. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess we reading Quan Mills today.

wow do you think about that like if somebody shows up in a certain outfit and you're like oh i already know how this is gonna go like friends dates oh for sure i'm judging the dates for sure i recently did a podcast where the their their whole shtick is to kind of dress up and then they didn't dress that much up for you when i did it please say who is it i you know i under that but what did you wear for the dress-up podcast i i didn't but that's that you know i mean i wore like regular clothes and what is that um something like this yeah yeah yeah i like to put a little tassel on my shit what is that please tell us i mean you you love a cardigan this is regular clothes i would say this is how i would have what's the pin say uh it's fish but it's

the seinfeld yes um yeah we we uh did that for everybody's live with john mulaney oh wow you really be working keep a job herman yo you really do be working and it's it's not because you have a wife and kids it's like you really are just no i plan to keep the money and i do plan to get out of this i know i know it's taboo to say out loud but i will escape you are not you're literally never gonna escape i'm gonna get out of this i swear to god you guys think i'm in jail for life but i'm getting out i don't think it's jail okay it seems happy the baby's always smiling in all the photos what's the name of your tour again dead aspiring dead beat tour dead beat dad and that's why you're so funny because i've seen you with your family and it doesn't look like gun to

head you have to be there you're just like it's so wild to see you like be serious and unserious and like your daughter just seems like she has such personality and not rigid and i mean you are a good dad yeah no i i really want them to have a good father for as long as i'm here and and as soon as i'm out good luck sweeties good luck to you i'm telling you i'm gonna you're so young i keep telling you i'm gonna get out of this yeah in 18 years in 18 years i see your wife i see her sisters her mom you're not going anywhere those women are not playing with you so where are you gonna go i don't know yet and that's part of it that's why he stayed that's part of it i what i welcome in life is is the the chance to discover

things you and me i'm gonna discover my freedom no i'm not staying rigid about this let's keep researching let's talk about your meth yeah let's get into it let's leave this mess behind and get into the mess that you want to talk to what's messy to you what do you think is mess uh right now i'm i'm in a pretty active beef with a number of people in my neighborhood i have uh yeah multiple uh neighbors uh the the family right to to my right i don't care for and we don't speak across the street it's a problem for me quite a bit and i i do not care for him you're saying his name yeah i especially don't fuck with uh and then and then there's a dude uh two houses down from him who i'm also actively beefing with what's up with why do we not like him

and it's all men so i like i like that they're just they borrow in like lawnmowers and leaf blowers and not bringing them back like he did the thing where as we moved in the first thing he did was beeline over to our house and he shook my hand hey welcome to the neighborhood so um what do you do but that's la sure sure sure but it was um it it was that and i didn't interpret it as anything other than that i went like all right yeah you're one of them that's going to ask me that question you're assuring yourself or being curious whatever it is no but it was more so like how'd you get this house what do you it was that energy but i but i felt comfortable knowing i know what to do with that that doesn't that doesn't create beef for me

dave asked all the questions he told me yeah my my sons if you ever need your trash cans taken out you can ask them they'll pay him a couple bucks they'll do it hey you know yeah there he's already pitching his kid his kids for for employment in in my home which i just no resume no linkedin i haven't seen the boys push a trash can yet i don't even know if they're the best trash can pushers he said actually give me the money now and i'll send them over there right these these boys might push like shit do you know what i mean just leaving trash trails like dirty hansel and fucking not even up against the curb you know what i mean just sort of loose in the street then i got to adjust it these boys might be assholes i have no idea but introduced himself he's pitched his

boys all that's fine and then he proceeded to not speak anytime we saw each other for like uh four years not even a head nod wouldn't he like truly would not even acknowledge me and it's like oh no you've asked me about my job and now you've pitched your boys to me you better look at me like a man did you ask his kids to push your trash i want those dirty whites touching my trash no this is clean proud trash i don't want these dirty whites that's the title period y'all made me do it y'all made me do it it don't bother me listen i don't know yeah nor do i no i thought i did and that man didn't think you know a guy for four years and then it wasn't until my neighbor to the right of me's house got broken into and then uh he he

started actively trying to speak again and he he'd like see me in the morning hi hi you think he think he you did it i think he's either worried that i could have been connected to it and is trying to be like inquisitive about shit or he is trying to build allies with the people nearby in case somebody else breaks in again and he wants to be able to like have relationships but i'm a nasty motherfucker so once you ain't spoke to me for four years you ain't never speaking to me again four years is a long time it's a high school yeah four years is so long it's a president a presidency term and you probably see him every other day i've had children two children in the window since from when you spoke to me to when i you stopped you know you spoke to me again so like

no we're not about to i'm not on that time you're not chopping it up no and so he has desperately throughout like the past year and a half try to recreate some kind of engagement and i'm just being a motherfucker you're standing 10 toes down at one point i was sitting outside i'm sitting outside playing with my daughter we're playing like ball we're throwing the ball back in your lawn it's pretty nice it's a nice lawn for throwing ball it's real it's real his grass is real real for throwing ball with a dum-dum you know what i mean throwing ball with a dum-dum did you just call your daughter a dum-dum in in the most affectionate way i know how yes you're right um like the lollipops exactly oh i think they're called big head little body that's

that's all i'm saying that's why don't talk to you he heard you call your daughter a dum-dum he said oh oh my god he came over and he he like hi and i i just looked at him he said oh um i'm from across the street i don't know if you remember and i said no i remember you and then he said um he said well oh um who's this oh my god and i said your daughter i said my child he said who's the the the daughter that's like copy paste your face he he wanted to be he wanted me to be like this is my daughter how are your boys how are the kiddos he's still trying to get the trash uh he's trying business up no these children are grown yeah now they're went to college they were trash boys they are now trash men yeah that's right yeah and so in that way

they can no longer do the service that he offered me four years before that said he is trying to just find an end with me and i won't give him shit his wife tries to speak i will not speak does he speak to your wife probably that's not my business you don't even know i i i tell her how i feel i let her make her decisions on the matter every day of your wife hey she's a very she's a much kinder person than i am my wife would never uh not speak to somebody that really she will give a she will give a negative energy at some point but eventually she'll go back to being like hi oh uh she yeah she's sweet glad you met her but i'm a i'm a dog about this shit you're from detroit i'm from chicago watch your mouth watch your mouth don't be disrespectful what you said

your mother's from detroit my mother is from detroit me and my mother are different people oh we have been this whole time he's a son of a detroit with the heritage i just thought well your mother's in detroit yeah yeah you know you were born there yeah this is our slave time these places are not permanent okay okay we can move around yeah we can move shout out to harriet tubman yeah shout out to her she did that she went crazy that time yeah well i thought it was oregon trail stunts but that's fine no no no up it's over it's more over yeah it's mainly over yep we were going to oregon okay it's the but you stopped in detroit

so we don't fuck with Dave who's next so you don't guy on the left the dude that lives two doors down two doors down I have a beef with

because he one time I pulled up in front of his house sometimes we have to park our cars on the opposite side for street cleaning

I pulled up in front of his house and he waited until I went into the house he's never spoken to us he's never once been kind he's never once

had any interaction he walks his dog past us every day and pretends as if we don't exist and that's fine that's that's how we doing it in la that's fine that's no acknowledgements at all that's the energy it's you your wife your kid he doesn't speak to any he don't speak to anybody this one

i think we all are in agreement on okay i'm mostly beefing with everybody but this one everybody sort of is locked in but one time i pull up in front of his house and then he comes out of his home after i go inside and he has written a note and he puts it under my windshield and i'm watching it happened from the kitchen i see the whole thing yeah literally i'm washing my hands i see it happening i go what the fuck and i go outside i go hey you couldn't wait what the fuck you put on my car did you say the f word yeah absolutely and then he went he went you're parking too close to my driveway and then i looked at it and it was enough space as far as i was concerned and the law wasn't there to decide it but certainly i felt comfortable with the job that i had done

and i said i looked at i said you can't drive and then he said i can and i said he said but it's too close it makes it harder i said so you can't drive and then he said he said i can just you you're parking too close and i said take that shit off my car and then he said okay and he picked it up off my car and we haven't spoken since so that's your first interaction with this man and it will be our last show us how big was the space between your car and his driveway was it the the little penis space or the or big anaconda hey i think there's a spectrum of penis and neither one of the ones you described so far Or where I stand

You know what I mean I'm somewhere in the middle Thank you for your transparency You said the middle But your hand is real wide You were like this You were like I'm in the middle

I'm somewhere in the middle I'm somewhere in the middle Yeah He points to his knee Listen Listen Listen Listen

If you're not doing this Yeah no I So I will not be speaking to him And if he wants that smoke I will honestly i think it's kind of respectable yeah this doesn't feel like real beef no no i'm just saying just to see somebody do something like that i think a lot of people listening might wait for him to go back in the house then scurry back out to see what the note says

you came outside with your clean hands yep and said what the fuck did you just put on my car because i know it's not nice yeah you know what i mean i know you're not like leaving your note to be like hey man i've been seeing you with your kids and you look like you're you're doing the right thing you know i mean it's not that energy so whatever it is is nasty and you saw me get out of my car say it to my face or the energy is now you know i mean because you you couldn't wait to write that shit oh he it was pre he had the pen to the paper when you pulled up ready now was this during the like a the week like weekday or weekday so you were no job and he also no job We do the same thing.

Okay, all right. We do not do the same thing. You are no job. You don't go to an office, sweetheart. This is the office. We're in the office right now. Literally, look at us. They pushing papers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What time in the day is it? Hey, neighbor. Hey, neighbor. This ain't. We speak here. We don't have traditional hours. We literally don't speak to them here.

You are just so nasty to them. You spoke so poorly of them in their work. They couldn't hear us. that's good i'm listen i'm glad that you went up to him and no he screamed it across i screamed it for my i didn't want to get in his face that is crossing a line i'd say so he lives an old man 70 at least oh length so he can't drive the answer to your question is no he that's not my business you were fighting with the guy from up yep oh come on his wife just passed that's okay that's okay he's gonna have to move on and i'm gonna help him do that i'm gonna give him new problems he was

That's going to make him forget that his wife is dead. He was letting you know he was going to scratch the back of your car up. No, what he was doing was trying to control his territory. And I respect that. But what I'm not going to do is create more territory for you. If you want to be a big, strong man, be a big, strong man. I've never parked that close again. I respect what you said, but I'm going to call you a fuck face while you do it.

for the listeners who can't see this the way you were waving that fucking butterscotch finger waving it around like and that is what i prefer you call it yeah it's werther's original you got going on actually that's too dark yeah for him all right you're being nasty it just feels like it's not real beef like it's not bloods and crip like okay i don't feel like okay it's really gonna escalate okay one more give me something maybe this next one will tip it for you yeah okay so uh next door there is a um a older asian couple their race doesn't matter but it just lays a different groundwork white man white man older asian couple next door and um i'm actively beefing

with them because uh we were turning our garage into a guest house you heard that garage into a guest house it's it's a common thing in los angeles it's not some groundbreaking thing that i invented it sounded like it's new for us we live on the east coast okay and that's the choice y'all are making but if you decided to come to los angeles i still wouldn't have a garage babe okay we're gonna get y'all there okay we'll see you'll try yeah okay are you beefing with them because while we were converting while we were turning that garage they filed a claim to the city saying that our construction was too close to their property line and did not ever come to just speak to us about what they were seeing they just decided to file the claim and then never said

a word about it even as the claim got rejected okay you said that he said rejected yeah no they it did not work for them yeah but because you're one of god's favorite because i know which side he's on. Everybody want to be on top? Top, top, top, top. And that's why you're going down with the devil. That's not why she's going down. It was that fivesome that did it.

Oh my God. Fivesome pushed her over the edge. God let you do three. He don't let you do five. God's going to let me up for the five. He's taking me down there because I'm gay. Forgot about that. okay no hashtag never forget you being gay is since 9-11 wouldn't it need to be two of me for it to be 9-11 anyways okay all right yeah okay

so it sounds like your problem for you it's messy if people don't speak to you directly they gotta run it back i don't everyone in your neighborhood doesn't talk to you no they that's that's one time no they're exceptional too because and we'll bleep their names let's bleep those is that okay the good name let's let's bleep all the names okay now you're changing it i think at first yeah well yeah actually well yes i speak with callous but i'm a fool you are i'm a jester you shouldn't listen to me oh my god that's the title of the episode i'm a fool i've never heard somebody call themselves a jester yeah i i'm here for shenanigans well i don't think it through before i say it i just say things and then i live with regrets yeah that is

that is the nature of our work and so here i am a few minutes later with less pee in my bladder and i go hey maybe not a few minutes later it's been 50 minutes hey maybe maybe let's not dox my own neighborhood. You know what? You think people know where you live? I think if they find out now I've endangered human beings. Oh, you're right. Okay. Wow. That's probably not Excuse me. Are you that ancient nigga that destroyed the ancient?

Let me tell you something. Look at here, you little bitch. Run your step, bitch. And she wouldn't understand what he's saying, but she would feel the bad energy and that would be great. we wanted to talk about energy real quick r kelly okay yeah and thank you for bringing that up yes it was on the list a seamless transition you see it a professional that's how you this how you

transition when you don't have p in your body how do you feel about robert kelly i'm back listening to his music i do and i'm back how long have you been back uh i've been back for a little while now uh i i think i think that don't speak up don't say it i think that it was wrong to ask us to stop i think that was wrong why do you think it's wrong i i think that so much of what is being demanded of us now is a controlling of our culture and our culture that formed us that connected us to a sense of self to a sense of community that that regardless regardless of whether or not that person did a a good thing or truly the most vile thing that a human being can do it still helped to form the person i am well that's because you're from chicago yeah so r kelly

did shape you he didn't shape us yeah i just wanted to let you know the bullshit meter that i'm putting over here it was high you well i don't understand what's happening i don't either is it a scale or i wanted to be with you is it is it like it looks like it's broken the bullshit meter is anemic I'm like The bullshit meter Motherfucking shivering The whole time

It's sponsored by Make up your mind Bullshit meter It's sponsored by Guantanamo Hey the bullshit meter Is broke So I can't tell

I feel like the meter Should be going like this But it's like It's giving praise dance Yeah In the church Okay so Let's just talk

Cause I need to know When you started listening To R. Kelly again What's the first song That you were like this is what i need i wish i wish i wish i that's all yeah yeah and i and i would i should be clear i'm not listening to anything where he's being like sexual oh you're listening to i believe i can fly i'm i'm i'm turning back to the r kelly that that meant something to me when when i needed

it as a boy so you only have that song on repeat is that what no it's not just i wish i got a few others you could turn back the hands of time come on he's he's got a lot of classics and more importantly, we've never been asked to remove the work that he'd done with other artists. Oh, you're talking about the Michael Jackson stuff? Michael Jackson. I don't sing the R. Kelly part

of Contagious. No, I do think we're not supposed to listen to Contagious. Wait, why not? Because it's R. Kelly. You said you listen to R. Kelly. I'm saying what people expect of you. If you're holding yourself to this standard, you don't get to make yourself exempt

on Contagious. I don't sing the R. Kelly part. marie sydney i don't sing the ark i sing mr biggs and i sing um sure but but boy i bet do you enjoy that r kelly has a part in it i don't i i'm saying i don't i'm saying you like the song the song meant something to you it reminds you of an energy that that matters that that shaped the person you are so much so i don't think that song shaped me but i do think it did and i think that's why you still hold on to it at karaoke in what i assume is your she didn't select it your late 20s marie i'm sure

the bullshit meter it's broken again i heart please fix the bullshit meter we need help OK, so you watching the Cosby show, too? No, no, no, no. But it's wait. Hold on.

The Cosby show shaped you more than our. But I'm saying you got the sweater on. But I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying it's because I don't need that the way that I like to me. i'm more opening up the possibility of enjoying culture as i understand it to be and not just eliminating things because a white man in the sky demanded it dr umar is in here with us stop it where are the school you don't need you don't need those songs i'm saying that when are you playing them i'm saying that they he's on a morning run this is a serious topic and you're not making it serious i am serious i'm saying not i'm saying

that ultimately ultimately this is this it created something inside of me it it helped mold a sense of who i am and i don't want to lose that and more importantly white people have never once given up one of theirs who's theirs all their violent awful nasty motherfuckers list five all of them list five do you want me to list five are you unfamiliar with the three harvey weinstein we ain't ever been asked to stop watching pulp fiction once oh he's he's that he's that oh i haven't watched it we recently we know for we know for a fact that some of these motherfuckers are vile weird criminals and we go give me two more so sure absolutely the president of the united states oh i don't even know yeah identify as american i don't know i don't even

say i'm saying that they have woody allen they have all these people i don't think i've ever You know, I don't want y'all are speaking for you. I'm saying that that culture at large does not eliminate them from our conversation. But we are expected to lose all of ours. And I'm saying that that is a version of a brainwashing tactic. I don't want to do tit for tat, though, because I don't want to I want I don't want it to be like, well, they're doing they get to cut. So we should I don't want them to be the the I don't want them to be the reason why we make our moves. well because they're not giving up anything we shouldn't have to give up it's like give it all

not they are not the blueprint they are not the standard and i'll throw them all in the trash well then we should be able to have people who do fucked up shit too it's like no and i equal opportunity for toxicity and trash and i'm saying i'm saying that that i would agree with that if this were just sort of an elimination of like oh this is a bad person that will stop existing in our society but what i'm what they're also doing is policing our shit in a way that they don't police themselves so they will feed us eliminate our kelly because that is vile that is wrong that is whatever he didn't they didn't eliminate him he eliminated himself no i'm not everything that we know about him i'm not because he had to go to court i'm not speaking to the character or the

wrong i'm saying that this individual who is a vile motherfucker yes they are there are a lot of vile motherfuckers who are then being like told we are being told from their media hey it is wrong for you to consume that now while they are simultaneously or is it other black people being like you listening to r kelly i'm saying that i'm saying that some of that is propaganda we're not even recognizing that that's a a sentiment that's being fed to us via a bunch of vehicles that i don't agree with let me tell you something yeah if and when i do listen to r kelly it's only in airplane mode so the streams don't count and i'm not sure if that's how that works excuse me that's how it works in 2f i'm just saying yeah i don't need the step in the

name of love i don't need that i don't need any of the thonga thonga i don't need any of those songs and i'm saying good and i'm not defending your i'm not saying you all you're like the principal you're it's the principle that you should be able to i'm saying you should pick if there comes a time where there's somebody who is quote unquote in the wrong you should have the freedom to still remember like hey this matters to me this shaped who i am this brings back positive feelings because there is no positive feeling every time a song has played a a random penis has been in between my butt cheeks with the denim with the denim old navies on sydney i'm sorry that happened to you at a party in high school sydney if i could knock those penises out of your butt i

would i come in there kicking and swinging those penises out of your butt it's too long friend i would get those out of there i say get off of her it's too long get that meat off of my friend she doesn't even like it are you wearing old that to me is the most offensive no i was wearing old navy they were wearing oh shit they were wearing paris they were slumming it

they're like damn everybody else taking i guess i did with old navy young lady in the old navy langston what's the what's the black version of reddit you got to get out of those the like the the the in-cell version of niggas you're there you're saying my brain is washed yeah i don't disagree and no one has taken it away it's just like everything that you know about this man yeah i'm i'm all set i don't need to list that enough should be like hey when he was when he was peeing on little girls i said no thank you but then when all this other stuff was brave of you i'm glad you spoke up so brave even your phrasing really feels proactive i'm

sorry hey no thanks everything else everything else i've heard i was like yeah i don't i don't want to be affiliated with sydney i'm i am not defending the individual i am defending our right to remain faithful to the things that that give us positivity because we now live in a world that is so violent and so toxic that we are running out of shit to feel good with there's that's a lie friend you need listen you got to go outside you got to go i'm everybody in the neighborhood i'm saying i got beef in all every direction have you been to a jazz club something's gotta make me feel good a pottery class have you you know gone to six flag i don't know there's other things to bring you joy i'm saying i'm i'm saying i'm reaching for every piece of joy i can find

and if i gotta ride the six flags listening to a little bit of uh world's greatest i don't know it's i don't need that song meet me where i am no i don't you guys don't have to stay over there i'm saying we could we can find our shit our joy you sound like a man right now so in up top when you were here i felt connected as a human being but this is the most you know well how many chromosomes men have that you whatever those are i hope i hope enough yeah hey i'm that little bit of hope when you're back against the rope she remembers the words hey this is the first time i'm not i'm giving my back to you i'm giving my back to you i i i don't expect much for you Listen, I don't have any R. Kelly saved on my phone.

Yeah. I'm saying that. I don't either. So it's not like in the library. But when I need it, I'm not ashamed to find it again. Damn. Now, how do you feel about Diddy? I think that.

Will you listen to I'm Missing You? Knowing what we know about that song. Knowing that he didn't pay for the funeral, but he was dancing at the VMAs or whatever. When they put that together, I was like, girl, we didn't even think nothing about it. I do think he was missing him. He said, man, I wish I could kill you twice. It feels like that. The way that this has changed my life, this is so good.

I wish I could do it again. It's so bad. They said he paid Sting, but didn't pay Biggie. That's crazy. And then when I saw the live version of them perform, I was like, Sting is off. The key is not. He was tripping. Well, he didn't want to be there.

He literally didn't want to be there. It just seemed like he needed to get something out of his throat. He didn't even, like, smile as he was saying it. And he was wearing black. Everybody else got on white. And he said, I'm not dressing like the blacks here. Yeah, I'm different than y'all. I'm going to go ahead and be over here with you.

And then he didn't move a muscle. Every step I take. Thanks, and do you think that there's, like, because people are doing so many fucked up things, you are going to have to remove a lot of stuff from your catalog and your day-to-day and the things that you think that are important. And I think that's okay.

We can erase that history. Just because you had a good time there, like it doesn't mean that we still have to take it with you now i guess where i will challenge you and i'm sorry to make this so serious but you know we needed you're disappointing me oh because because because i'm sorry to have to sit you down like this but but i think what what to me you're not considering is how much of our culture lives on beyond the memory right that like culture continues to absorb this individual everybody around you is not making the same choices regardless of like right wrong good bad we are all coexisting in a world where people are

making other kinds of choices and there is something almost false in being like i will only listen to the music of good men i will only listen to the voices of the positive because we are not existing amongst people who move like that so i have to be amongst a type of truth that truth sometimes is nasty it's weird it's upsetting but it continues to shape us and i i think it's almost like crazy to be like no you you cannot enjoy that ever again genuine made pony and he was not touching little girls and genuine was not meeting women you he's got two albums that you can you can you can listen and i fuck with a hundred percent genuine you know i turn it on in those jeans yeah come on so anxious that's the other that's the so anxious in those jeans the other

album but uh but absolutely so anxious absolutely yeah so i mean front to back let's kill her let's look let's look at some other options i'm not there every day sydney said okay so how often do you think you listen to our an r kelly song he doesn't how many times a month you need to i literally need i wish you just want to do this every couple months every couple months a crumb of kills yeah but it'll be a couple songs do you know what i mean like i you don't just you don't turn on somebody's uh you could you could do just one you hit their page because i gotta turn my phone for me i'm i'm over here i'm not rushing you should rush hurry up and finish i want to be honest with you i don't i don't i don't need to see the new mj movie i don't i that he is you

know musically one of the greatest no one will ever be like him yeah am i bumping am i it's white it's what no i'm not man in the mirror i'm not you know listening to no it's not in my no maybe mike yeah he didn't even know he was like that he just want to fuck a mouse oh i think he wanted to be friends with a mouse hey you you listen to that song different than me For me, you want to fuck Ben. Is it Shaderoom? Is Shaderoom what Reddit is to incels? What platform are you on that has eaten your brain?

You're so smart, but also this is so dumb. Ben, the two of us need look no more. We both found what we've been looking for. He didn't have any friends. All right. He had a whole lot of brothers and sisters. The song is for the movie. It's a movie about a mouse

Alright I've never seen the movie But Mateo and I Talk about this song At least Once a month I'm just saying That Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson Seemed like he needed That mouse In a way that All I'm saying is All these people Who are getting caught up That they're bad people

They said You know Dr. Dre was You know Bad guy He pushed his hand His girl down the stairs No

I'm talking about Fist Fist of me He's DB Domestic violence When was the last time You listened to a Dr. Dre song

I don't But you listen to the things that are produced by him. You said he's not listening to Eminem. You're tapping in with Apple. And Apple is his biggest fucking contributor. There is no escaping the connections. You're finding loopholes, Langston. I'm not directly going to a Dr. Dre production and being like, boop, I'm clicking that.

But you're limiting it to music. The people at the top of these industries are vile motherfuckers. This is true. Everybody is a rotten egg. The richer you are, the more successful you are. It's bodies behind you. And we are all investing in rot. And they're not fixing their rot.

They're only fixing ours. And maybe it is. Maybe you're correct. You can change who you want to be. Maybe we're policing ourselves in a way that I'm not acknowledging. But I'm saying that I think that that policing is something that's being fed to us more than we realize. I think that like they are they have trained us to dog walk ourselves so that we never can bring or reach a sense of unity that allows us to start pointing outwards. You know what my unity is with Leon Thomas? I went to his concert. I paid $550. He's a great performer. Haven't heard any bad things about him. He's got my dollar.

And I respect that. I'm not going to the concert, Sid. I did. I did. I'm not going to the R. Kelly concert. OK, neither is he. And I think that's also important. I think I think part of what we should also be talking about is accountability. Right. Like I have no interest in subscribing to somebody who is out and dangerous. Do you want to mean like that feels like, oh, I'm I'm feeding your freedom. That's a different thing. But if we're talking about accountability has been met and society has made the choice, that is the amount of time that this motherfucker is going to serve, whatever it is. I don't know, dog. Let's step. Not in the name of love. Not in the name. Because it was never about love.

Chocolate Factory had a lot of hits. I'm not. Yeah. It was never. There was actually no chocolate in the factory, just so you know. Or maybe you had the Chocolate Factory to get the kids. You know what? Oh, hey.

Whoa. Hey. Yeah. I don't like it either. Okay. Let's end on something positive. Okay, your chance. Next time you wanted to show us your tattoos?

Yes. No, I didn't want to show it to you. You said you had some tattoos? I did not know that we were going to do this. You did. You said you put it on the list. In my head, I'm going to walk you through what I thought this was going to be. No, no, no.

I just want to say, you made me upset with that topic. You got to make me feel better. I need to see these tattoos. That's the only way. I want to see these stupid-ass tattoos that you got on your fucking, you know, Gumby-ass arms. I want to see it. you're hurting me in a multitude of ways

you scratched me you slapped me and then she spit on me while I was laying on the ground you're truly talking to me like a rotten motherfucker and that's not fair you invited me

to this very red room red red where perverts can stare at us from a distance here we go my sis left yeah no she had she finished all her work so she was tired she has she has drinks with some some people downstairs how many tattoos do you have i have a half sleeve of tattoos just one no you don't have it okay so that's where it's troubling okay all right so first of all my first tattoo i got when i was 17 years old as one does yeah

17 years old my mom my mom signed the permission form that allowed me to go to a man and tattoo my arm and then at the time i allowed my stepfather my then stepfather uh uh to draw what i described so that he could take it to the artist and have the artist do what he does was your stepfather uh an artist yeah i thought so ah but i was young enough oh my god and had been um in great like you know show us that first we need to see that one okay that's where it's it's a little complicated okay but I should then you try to draw over it no I'm gonna tell you everything okay so I he I asked him to do exactly what I described for for my arm and he did give me what I described later I've discovered that he was not as good of an artist as I thought he was tell us what

the description we need to hear right that's the bigger bummer of this so when I was 17 years old my passion was spoken word poetry it was what i believed was going to be my future there was no doubt in my mind that that not only this was the height of spoken word being on hbo oh i remember that deaf poetry poetry jam is at its fucking height most deaf most deaf is kanye just did it and i'm in the spoken word community so much so that i've had multiple auditions to be on that show oh my god do you have a word community no no no and if you find them i will blow my brain okay okay okay okay i'm describing hell okay and you are asking for more what what so i need to know what the fit was like what was the outfit for the audition big ass echo shirt necklace with

beads was there a fedora i know you know the beanie was to the side i was probably big ass echo and like a nba headband type i was in braids one ear so it was like alan iverson yeah but like not do rag with a headband on top of it let's go with the cape out hey sometimes i tie it sometimes i tie it you know that you know that viral from drewski is like he's like all right come in and these lips all right robert these lips all right we heard enough that's not how i remember it certainly i thought i had a better audition tell us and then show us and then we'll let you and then we'll let you go okay so at the time i

i was spoken word mattered a lot to me and so i said to my stepfather that i wanted a microphone that yeah no it's not great i and i don't love the way you've laughed so far uh but i wanted a microphone i already know what it is our okay tell me what you think it is i'm already envisioning okay go ahead okay it's it's a hand on a mic it is not okay okay it's a microphone but the cord turns into some words uh that is that is part of it yes that is part of it yes that's bad it actually i need to know the word okay wait it gets much worse so it's not it's not just what you think it is okay and then it's clouds no no everybody relax okay i promise you i promise you you're never gonna get it in a million years because i was brilliant at the time i was so

true okay share your brilliance with us walt disney it was a microphone that turned into a pen and the pen wrote out the words but at the end of the ink was the plug that goes back into the microphone doing too much what are the words langston please doing too much what is the ox doing there no it is an ox cord at the end yeah no you don't need that You told your stepdad to draw that and he said He had his tongue out while he was up Oh, there's a meme There's a meme for that

I got that meme What happens to a raisin in the sun? Yeah, yeah, yeah No, it's a real bummer I rise Let's see Okay, so before I This is the last important element of this

Is that it is all of those things And in the words That were written out Because you're not going to see these words But I'm being R.I.P. baby girl I'm being vulnerable and I would love if you were kind after work. Let's all work together to get through this as one.

But the words that I chose for my microphone was language arts. Because that was going to be my poetry name. And that is the title of the episode you heard. Language arts! it's too long i'm gonna say it right language arts show us okay show it i've since gotten parts of it covered i never you can still see the original microphone oh yeah which is not drawn um como se dice well yeah now where was the language art so now like it's this is where this goes down and then you can still see if you if you really dig in there close you can still see

friend you just gotta take the whole arm off you just gotta you gotta be the one-armed comedian here it sucks really bad so at 17 langston said my slam poetry name is gonna be language this is who i'm going to be forever there's no reason thank you for blessing us on christmas you truly are the best brother to the night you didn't even try language art no sydney i tried my hardest he tried too hard i tried

the meat i was trying hey put your little weird arm back up i'm all the way up here with it this was me trying my fucking best now you i believe i can fly and wouldn't that inspire you then don't don't i need it a little bit sick listen you know what if i can see it then i can do it and i can do it and your stepdad didn't see it and no he's no longer in my life thank you for asking y'all to do i don't really ask this but i'm gonna need y'all to go to langston page and i'm need you to hit him with the microphones i'm gonna need you to flood the comments with the microphones

and i hate to interrupt you please don't do that do it oh if if i may if i may it would really um you're killing me we can't separate the art from the artist yeah we can't separate the language arts language arts langston yeah now everything else you said is that the name of your business The name, when you, when you started your S-Corp. Oh, the LLC, did you? Thank God, no, it is not, but it was an email for quite a long time. LanguageArts at AOL.com.

No, no, no, I was 23. Right, naturally, because you're from Chicago. Yeah, yeah. LanguageArts 23. Well, it's also my birthday is the 23rd, so. Of what month? April. Oh, cool.

So, you got to do a LanguageArts.org. I really feel like you could just. i think if if language arts language arts if language arts ever comes back i will be in an unfortunate unfortunate way that's the type of lab arm it's your arm i feel like your arm looks good you got thank you thanks thanks but the ink where did they get the ink uh not from a good place it is a um it it the facilities i've often gotten tattoos have never been uh my last the cover-up for this was done by a man named dirty oh you let somebody named dirty tattoo you again i um i know that i made a mistake now how much would it cost to just take it all off my fear

with taking it all off is it's apparently agonizing yes it's like supposed to be like one of the most painful things you can do is you gotta go like 12 sessions yeah like takes a long time it is very painful and i think this is a lot of man whoever wrote the language arts and cursives went went real deep because it's like 3d it's like pop-up yep no it definitely it's giving a keloid it got a little rich too i don't know butterscotch skin keloid that's right hey hey i'm gonna have to take that armor on brother no i thought about it for sure yeah no i don't care for what's on me but it's not good langston thank you for fucking sharing man you are so vulnerable wow you're

one of a kind we owed you big one you did your big one on this you did we owed you for salmon salmon teriyaki but here was that i am i misremembering but was you pronouncing the l uh part of the argument i don't remember the l stands for language arts good for you for coming to your friend's defense you guys you guys have healed and that's beautiful you know what really made me mad somebody commented they were like you know the podcast is really slipping sydney not even you know really being present she on her phone and now that she got that new podcast called lobby hobby yeah yeah i had a podcast called hobby hunters that was just a small little stint i was trying to make more money for the family yeah you are hobby lobbies now you're not treating

unofficial expert right and i said oh wait hold up and we all felt that way i'm glad they spoke up as a viewer i said to myself a constant listener i said sydney's not in this hobby lobby is she's That was Langston's comment. I was like, she's focused on this hobby lobby show. I give a fuck about your hobbies.

Hey, guys, I'm going to need those microphones. I'm going to need you to light it up. John Paul, light it up. If you can't find the mic, we'll also accept the pen.

There's a quill or something. There's an ink pen. Anyway, that's what we want you to give Langston for Christmas this year. Woo, Langston! Yeah, it's nasty. Tell everybody where

they can find you and what you got coming up yeah all social media platforms at langston kerman and listen to my podcast it's called my mama told me one of the best podcasts so good we're a beautiful mess we're always happy when y'all show up you've shown up a lot you've showed up once but we i heard she destroyed i don't remember no yeah oh the live show yeah well twice live show she did she went crazy it's a really funny podcast and

and go listen to that you learn a lot thanks anyway thanks for being here thanks Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas thanks

this is so nice y'all and it's a good thing I don't think R. Kelly has a Christmas song I don't think he has a jingle he doesn't

so I think he's written a few for other people and if you want to talk about that let's go we done good

I said good day oh wait guys and please keep reviewing us on apple and spotify we want those reviews five stars good and bad we'll take it we miss you scootney if you know you know mess with sydney washington and marie faustin is a production by will ferrell's big money players and iheart radio podcast created and hosted by sydney washington and marie faustin executive produced by olivia aguilar and han sani super produced by becca ramos edited and mixed by brian jeffries if you would like your messages read on air please email us at mess the podcast

at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588