MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Are You Happy?

Episode Date: October 16, 2020

On this week's episode of the Unofficial Expert, Sydnee discusses a tiff between her and a friend and Marie talks getting misgendered at Ikea. Enjoy!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expert/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

forever dog okay toot toot beep beep we're here hi guys uh sydney you sound kind of muffled sis do i what about now i think so i think maybe you were just too close yeah that's fine you're dancing real close you're making it hard for me okay let's talk about the problematic get together i had at my house uh like a day ago problematic i had a fantastic time it was so much fun marie that like wow okay so you know for the fans who've known me forever i have an ex like everybody else or no i am officially the only person who's ever had an ex um but adrian is moving to detroit bye-bye adrian we love you so much bye-bye she's moving there forever so i wanted to have like a send-off for her and so me marie and a couple of other people came to the

house i made wings a fresh salad we had snacks and drinks listen sid can salad i mean sydney how long was that box of lettuce sitting in your house i had just bought it the day before oh okay Because I know that on Sid Can Cook, you're not really like a big vegetable or green person. But you put together a cute little salad with some crumbled feta. And I was like, okay, Sid Can Salad. I'm doing what I can. Well, I knew that you guys wanted some type of vegetable. So I had salad for you.

When you say you guys wanted, are you saying that you don't need vegetables in your life? No, I do. I do. I need to be better it's it's hard but I need to do it I mean you ate it and you were like oh I'm I'm sure you almost surprised that the salad could be good um but then you know when um when Molly came over and I made like lunch for Molly and Larry I made like a little salad for her and him and put a little bacon little bacon bits in there and it was cute and they were like girl the salad's really good and i was like okay well i have to keep it going is it a salad i'm asking

the listeners is it a salad if there's bacon in it yes yeah yeah if it's like mostly green there's cucumbers there's tomatoes there's bacon there was it was like pieces of bacon it wasn't like a whole thick cut slab of bacon just laying on top of a yeah no it wasn't like that it was just like crumbled up pieces of bacon thank you so much okay okay okay and then tell them what else you made for the for your guests yo we well we call them now the conquest wings conquest wings yes because reggie conquest had gave me the recipe and they were divine so they were so good two or three weeks ago sydney made buffalo wings on sid can cook and she said they were a hit so she made before us a few nights ago and they were a hit sis uh sydney's our wing person now our unofficial

expert in making on the way buffalo wings yes they really were good i couldn't believe it marie the way y'all were chomping them down and i feel like i bought maybe like 50 wings how many are left none they're gone oh wow when i tell you god be providing yeah but then we just was listening to music on my projector and we were just singing songs out it was like a little hood karaoke and it was fun like just i love hood karaoke just music back in the day like r&b groups and just when the music was something to know the words for um yes i love heard karaoke uh i went to a karaoke night once and there was like this old black couple there and uh the guy sang luther vendross and he sounded just like him and then the lady sang i don't know

some old black singer and i'm gonna say gladys knight i have no idea who it was um and they sounded like professional singers and we were like okay and then people started doing salt and pepper it was it was a fun night but anyway sydney uh we did karaoke at your house uh we ate good it was only a couple people it felt good to almost be normal again it was like wow remember hanging out yeah it was a few people that like we'd normally hang out with anyway and i think you know again we're just just trying to be as safe as possible these are people who don't get out either and um they stay in their house all the time and i just feel like oh it's driving us mad it is it is a lot of people are having a hard time now more than before i think some of us

have reached our breaking points um people who were like okay at the beginning of the pandemic are now like really really having a hard time people being me um but uh you know it felt good to come out like i had been in my house for like two days before that and i hadn't got dressed i hadn't put makeup on i had barely combed my tiny morgan freeman afro and then uh getting ready to go to sydney's house i was like all right i'm gonna let me let me put a little makeup on let me no you look good you looked really good let me throw on a boot and it was like i felt good it feels good to put stuff on it feels good to put a little bit of effort into your appearance right now it's hard and it feels unnecessary but when you do it it feels good andrew have you i mean

you've been staying in that that apartment i've been staying in and we were talking a little bit before maria came into the recording but like i feel like i am like falling so back with like progress that i've made just not being because i feel like very socially uncomfortable in a lot of yes situations and so uh i feel like i've made a lot of progress in like the last 10 years that are have just been like wiped clean yes you know in the past few months and so in the past year where it's just like i worked so hard to get there wherever i was on that journey and now it's just like okay i like it's so uncomfortable just like talking to anybody yeah yeah this is so much better you talk to people now and you're like let me look everywhere except their face while i'm

using these words uh if it's more than five people i can't do it i don't want to do it it's too much i get too like overwhelmed and weird and i'm like i just want to go home i just want to be in my apartment yeah so but sydney you have a show tonight it's gonna be more than five people there how are you preparing for this show get my hair done where's the show it's in brooklyn it's on a rooftop okay yeah social distance it's on a rooftop i haven't done uh stand up in you know since may i mean since march something maybe before like i think the last time i did stand up it was before i went to la didn't you do stand up in la sis yeah that's what i'm saying like yeah you know what i mean but i haven't done it in so long and i'm like everything that i was

talking about before that shit don't matter now it really feels it feels irrelevant but but less for me it's i can't remember what i was talking about and i'm not even trying to rack my brain to remember what the jokes were i'm not going but i also haven't written anything nope i'm not going over my notes i'm gonna go in there and talk my shit and say what i feel what's going on something funny will come out and we'll go from there i'm not breaking my neck i'm not i feel like you're both really adapting really well to the platform like social media as a platform you know you're both doing content and it's doing well like why would you need to do live shows during a pandemic because that's who we are we're stand-ups that's what i i used to cancel shit left and right so i

could go to a dusty bar that paid me in drink tickets that i didn't even drink i used to love that the thrill of that no i can't go to your birthday party i got the show you know on caroline's on broadway you know the baby's getting christened today i have a show where they're paying me 20 dollars sorry i can't make it to your show tonight um i don't know i don't even i don't even know if i call myself a stand-up comedian anymore i people are like well what do you do and i'm like i used to do comedy um now I spend all of my money I feel like on stuff that I do not need online and um that's where I am in the pandemic I haven't cooked in two weeks I haven't been to the supermarket in like three weeks and today yeah but I went today it wasn't like it wasn't

even like a real supermarket trip I ran in there I threw some golden grams in my basket and then I was like should i get cheese and then i got it and left that that is the whole trip um uh and oh andrew actually you know what i found recently you gave what did you find you gave me a gift card for christmas last year and i just found it i did that's what i used it was a supermarket with amazon or it was a visa what was it um i think it was like a i think it was a visa uh yeah but i been used at i just found it the same week you gave it to me my man i i no i think sydney i think we went out to shake shack um that evening i think that you you use the gift card at shake shack for all yeah with all of us yeah a giver sydney mother theresa jones we love it um i used

mine today yo are people gonna be giving gifts this holiday no right are people gonna are people gonna want to give gifts probably probably people are still spending money online every day yeah they're gonna i'm obsessed i i mean like this is like i know i don't talk about amazon amazon is not you know they need to shut that nigga down bezos is doing what work all of the devil's work he is satan bezos is the devils he has so many good products that could just be delivered in one day one motherfucking day and that is what's so evil about it it comes so fast like you don't even have time to be like do i actually need this let me cancel the order let me see it's already yes and then i love the because people in my building me stealing packages

left and right you put it you send it to the locker i'm obsessed with the locker at the right aid i go there like every other day you can send it to like a locker and they give you a code to like get your shampoo and like it you know oh so you're sending shampoo to right aid but not buying shampoo at right aid i love that that's how fucked up amazon got us the man has stopped us from supporting the smaller business no no no like right aid is not a small right ain't it sis you see my brother you see my brother yeah yeah you have to uncover the third eye because the white man is even breaking down the white man um i've reached the point of the the quarantine where i am now like well everything in my house

is ugly and old and i need all new stuff and um yeah so now because we're tired of looking at it now i'm tired of looking at my face i'm tired of looking at my face i said my i now i see why people are getting plastic surgery more than ever because they're tired of looking at it hashtag new face yes um i uh yeah that's what i'm doing i'm like and i'm not and i'm like well people are gonna come over here so i need it to look perfect and it's like no one is coming over No one is coming over, Marie. Anytime someone tries to come to my house, I'm like, here? You want to come here?

Why? It's just me and the nigga you banging. That's the only people coming to your house, Marie. Ah, the nigga I'm banging. Let's talk about this. Oh, my God. So yesterday, me and the nigga I'm banging went to Ikea because I was like, I need, I wrote a list.

What did I need? I was like, I need wall hooks. I need a shoe rack. I need a dish rack. I need blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. we go to ikea and i didn't pick up any of those things i picked up like a tool set with a hammer in it and um i don't even know what else sis what did you get at ikea i got a meat cutting board and a little dish scrubber and a this little thing with a hammer and a wrench in it that's

that's it meanwhile he he who didn't really need anything got a like a big wall mirror he got a a shoe rack no he got all this stuff how did he get that with his car hold on hold on so we're online we're online and the cashier goes gentlemen would you please step forward and we both like didn't say anything and then he was like lady and gentlemen sorry uh come on forward so i can check you guys out do the family card do the family card every time somebody misgenders you it's just it's imagine they're doing that to you so you know they're doing that to the people who are actually like yo what the fuck is wrong with you it's funny for you but somebody else it's like okay this is triggering and you're fucked up yeah he he said it and it

was like and he was definitely part of the family he was definitely queer and he was like gentlemen if you please step forward i was like oh my god and we just like we laughed about it in the car later actually i'm lying we laughed about it in the bed later um and i was like you like this gentleman pussy oh my god marie this gussy anyway i'm getting braids next week so i'm not gonna be a gentleman anymore so that um but uh that was ikea it was uh it was a it was a cute time and now how do you what now no truly how do you feel when someone like misgenders you well i mean i i don't feel bad but i don't feel good about it either it was funny yesterday when

happened because it was like sir let me hold on let me i have my hat on the leather hat that i wear and i had on like a tiny jean jacket it was like sir like you see these boots i got on this seriously well that's not true because there's there's gay men who dress like that so well also that it was kind of flamboyant uh chris was like oh he oh wow wait do we need to cut that no it's fine sydney's okay it's fine it's fine i haven't said some dumb shit on here too it's fine yeah yeah yeah anyway he was like y'all ain't never meeting the people we fucking and that's on what period period that's on gentlemen period um anyway whatever he was like oh he thinks that he must have thought we were gay and i was like we could have just been friends or this could be big brother

little sister or whatever like you could be my youth uh uh pastor i don't know whatever so it's fine um and that was i mean it's it's it's not it's fine right but it's also like people do need to take the time out to look like don't just glance well i mean like the thing is i feel like in 10 15 years i'm hoping you know people are just gonna be like they're not even gonna have these these titles that they associate to complete strangers like a gentleman they say they'll say like hey um i don't know like y'all or something more something more inclusive than uh something that is so solidified in a specific gender gentleman is the new sis okay mark my words gentlemen you think so take the place of queen it's gonna take the place of sis it's gonna

to be yes gentlemen gentlemen i actually like that's a mouthful gentlemen but this sounds more fun than gentlemen i'm just i'm not i'm just gonna be honest like gentlemen it feels it's definitely more fun gentlemen is like i mean you can like you can shorten it gents are you interested in that or no yes gents when we say sir that's okay sir feels funny well sir is more fun than anything so yeah it's probably just i mean sir is just one letter off from sis yeah so which is why it works sir sis yeah sirs sirs sir sir sir sis that means you're including both um that's they for me well sis is my vase this is all inclusive i call my dad sis and he loves it so um i don't know um and then i came home and i had all these boxes waiting in the lobby i was like i gotta stop ordering

stuff but i have stuff that's supposed to come this week so it's too late for me to cancel we thought that we stopped we thought we were good at that because right now we're all just trying to feel i mean fill a void because that's what we have but we were just like empty inside the fact that i'm like i'm tired of my face i did not even want to post anything that had my face and i was like i need to post a picture i need to post a picture should i post my friends and i was like well they're not gonna get as many likes as if i post a picture of my face but then i'm tired of my face so i was like you know i'm gonna put a video up of my cat but why do you think you need to post a picture because you hadn't posted in a while just for the grid you know it's just a lot

of videos and i don't want to be that comedian that's just like it's all videos it's just weird i don't know i stumbled on a video instagram today that my sister sent me and i was like this guy's pretty challenging i was like i'm not gonna follow him because he's a he's a because because he's a straight white man but oh god how could you say that on this podcast i said i'm not gonna follow him because he's a straight white man but i was like i enjoyed several videos that's actually why i was late going to supermarket today because i was watching this man's videos okay well hold on let's speaking of podcasts there's a podcast that's not the unofficial expert it's unofficial experts and i'm blown away they're doing you're doing exactly what

they want you to do by mentioning them right here right now do you think so oh absolutely i mean that's everyone's gonna go i don't know everyone but you know people are going to check that out as a result of you mentioning it right now you know you know what happens no no you know what happens some people think that our podcast is called unofficial experts yeah so they're i think they're trying to get run off yeah yeah is there can we issue a cease and desist what's happening with this this young beige man because we googled googled our the title of our name before we was like this is our podcast and nobody had our name yeah well i mean to be fair i think on this episode is the first time

earlier in the episode you said unofficial like wing expert or something and I was like wow that's the first time that you guys have said unofficial expert

since I don't know April well cause we haven't had an expert on since last year I'm just saying they're picking up real estate

it's been a while since you said the title the title doesn't us saying it doesn't change the name of our podcast I know that but like hey Sydney

what are you an expert in this week and I don't know it's just been a while okay fine Andrew, what were you an expert in this week? Let's take it back. Oh, gosh.

Flashback Friday. Okay, I was preparing for Halloween. Halloween costumes. Oh, you're doing a Zoom party? Yeah, well, let's talk. I mean, just get together with two close friends. Two close friends, okay. Threesome.

Let's get into it. Are we having a threesome? No, we're not having a threesome. You know I'm not like that. What's like that? Actually, I don't know shit. I don't know. You still can't paint.

So honestly, you could be doing whatever the fuck you want to over that nice little apartment you got going on over there in the city. That well-lit apartment in the city. We don't know what you're putting in and out of your Amazon locker over there. I know. Sure. Yeah. Okay, so what are you going to be for Halloween?

Yeah. You know that little girl in the vine that's like in the back of the car and she has makeup all over her face and like she like looks like she has like a rough night or something. She just got back

from a slumber party. Sam Smith is playing in the background. No. You've seen this before. Send it to us because we've never seen it. No.

Oh my God. Little girl makeup Vine. Little girl, oh Vine. Yeah, we not all Vine. Yeah. Okay,

yeah, because Vine is dead but there's, it's not canceled. It's dead. Are you looking it up? Little girl, I thought you were

going to send it to us. I'll send it to you. You want us to do the work? Wow. oh my god that's unheard of for us we are the unofficial experts of not doing work that's who we are this girl and so um i just sent it so you dropped it in the group Andrew i have never seen that photo before yeah this is it's gonna be real wait so that's the costume are you gonna also have a car seat it's not no i'm gonna have i'm gonna have a seat belt uh that's cute you

know that's cute for you honestly this costume reminds me of sydney's costume last year when she was glitter remember she was just like a that's true little face shut up bitch oh my god people are just gonna think that i'm like a character from euphoria or something absolutely love it they're gonna be like hey mad girl um i love it i love that for us sydney if we were free to to do halloween things this year what would your artistic costume be this year i don't have nothing sis i'm tapped out tap tap tap out i i'm like what are we gonna i'm gonna be you know who i'm gonna be i'm gonna be tiffany from oh new york from flavor of love when she's sitting on the bed with the sunglasses that's me it's just that's literally me all of 2020 yes that's my

life that she has like shoes on in the bed yeah exactly i want to say her legs are crossed at the ankle she's just like what is she waiting for and in my mind she has like a small coach purse i don't know if that's true or false but i feel like she's got a white tank top on and jeans yes white yeah and like her arms or her hands are just like this it's so good it's so good we love a clasped hand well it's it just honestly it not only is it easy thing to create but it's also just how i feel it's like yeah let me put some stuff on to do what and they're just waiting around but on a positive note on a positive there's a there's another tiffany picture i just sent you if marie wants to do a couple's costume you could both be tiffany she looks

thick in that photo with a thick smoky eye or i could be tiffany's mom i could be new york smart remember her yo she was she was a character in her in her in itself she was a character new york's mom um i think for halloween this year i might be a gentleman in my house um um i'm just gonna wear a tiny men's blazer over my sweatsuit um and that's who i'm gonna be uh marie can i know they the listeners can't see but do you see this arm do you see that little definition right there um you don't see no the light's hitting it really nicely for you okay there you go andrew you don't see it they look the same they look the same i wasn't gonna say it but this is bullshit no it's simply because you're sitting right next

to that open window and it's hitting you in a you know you just gotta do a little contour on the bicep babe i don't okay here there's a little bit of oh wait yeah that other arm looks better wait say something so your screen gets big no you guys don't see you can't see no it's the other hand the other arm is better yeah okay well this is the arm that i masturbate with so that's that's probably what it is she's a righty yo marie i am i will not be here for halloween i'll be in la um with the with the boo thing uh yeah we're gonna be together because she's she's truly going crazy over there and it's it's insane because i was like you have a car you have a dog now the weather is still good still good

why why are you having such issues and she's just like I don't want to hang out with people and it's like because you're not supposed to and she's like no I don't even want to be around people I'm like because you're not supposed to so no it's but it's it's less about not supposed to because we we were not supposed to the entire time and we were making time like I feel like I saw my friends more even it was like oh I'm gonna cook something because I was cooking at the beginning oh i'm gonna bake bread and like we're doing these i'm making cheesecake i'm making weed butter all those things that i was doing at the beginning of the pandemic like now i don't want to do any of those things i don't want to and i don't want to see anybody

it's and this is peak we're we're rolling up on like depression season we're rolling up on the sun sets at 4 12 p.m we're coming like it's cold outside the last week i've eaten more meals out like more i've gotten more takeout than i've ever eaten in my life you know i don't do takeout and i'm like i'm gonna go get some diet food i should get some wings for later like i'm i'm ordering extra meals when i get my meals because i'm like i know i'm not gonna want to eat anything that i make later so it's like we're regressing when when we get out of this we're gonna have zero social skills and no no friends we'll actually well i'm gonna tell you that's not for me i'm gonna make a fucking incredible buffalo wing platter and a bitch knows how to

fuck better so i'm i'm personally happy about what's going on in my life you're gonna have sex with those wings friend yo no no i will not will you be making wings on the west coast i think you should i think you got no i am i am i i have well there's a couple things that we have to do when we're in la because i i definitely need to make these wings because um she was like oh so you gonna make your ex the wings that she was like oh you should try these wings and i was like well i made it for the group it's you know they're easy to make for everybody so i was like you can't really be you can't you can't mention that but also she bought this new dick for us and it's like oh really it's like looks real like it has balls and everything dick and wings so the

other dicks don't have balls no the dildos yeah never so this dildo has balls and they move when you use it it feels like a real dick you've felt it before no well that i mean that's the we saw a video of a girl demonstrating doing a demo oh send me the video send me send me the video okay i'll send it to you what's the name of the dick what so i could google it later um it's a white woman I gotta look back and um it's a white woman

using the dick yeah it's a black dick too it's big it's big how big show me show me with your hands

is it the size of your bicep I'm not showing you but I don't know if I could take it to be honest it sounds like you wanna take it though you're definitely gonna try

I'm open to taking it well you better be open to taking it she spent a pretty pity on it so I'm gonna have to take it you better be open to taking it I'm not taking it in my mouth

I'm not taking it in my ass I'm not taking it oh okay well I guess you're not making buffalo wings if you're doing anal I think it's different when you're a girl a rectum is a rectum

sis a rectum is a rectum is a rectum is that the title Jesus is a real so I wanted to be on a positive note because you know we complain so much 30 minutes in I wanted to read a review of ours wow a good one because Andrew's a good one

yeah it's a good one it's a good one I mean I thought it was interesting that you also started off this episode by talking about a party that you had scootney i don't think would be too happy hey scootney sir gentlemen scoots so sorry um okay so the title is physics grad student five stars super brilliant smart funny uplifting artists sid and marie have helped me survive the phd program so far by making me laugh and forget the stressful workload for an hour every week they taught me a lot about pop culture and self-care and they share hot dating tips weekly emoji flame emoji and emoji with the

sunglasses they've also they also talented into oh these are they forgot they've also had talented interviewers and great at getting their guests to spill the beans they've even made their cool producer drew cooler by getting him involved drew drag they called you drew and they were like you're cooler now i admire sid's openness to showing her vulnerable side while staying skillfully funny the bikini diarrhea story will forever live in my mind and marie's honesty and brutal sense of humor in addition to being truly awesome artists they're kind caring and sincere people you don't know us at all no kidding i encourage you to listen and subscribe and if you already do go to their patreon and help their art grow and thrive leaf emoji oh leaf emoji what

that mean i think they were trying to do the the palm tree or maybe or maybe for like thriving like grow maybe growth yeah brilliant brilliant that was one of the days thank you g underscore three underscore fifty-five. The way you read every single thing in the review is brilliant. The emoji, you're giving us the underscores.

The underscores. I just want people to take you know, G underscore three underscore fifty-five and take what he's doing and you know, leave a review. You're assuming it's a he,

but it could be a they. they could be them a sister or sir them they i love this i love and the phd program some of y'all are truly experts at what really smart it's always so many people who message us that are students that are working that are being better people that have kids that are divorced or going through a divorce in a breakup cheating uh they've had covid not had covid cancer survivors i mean we've had everything oh my god wait a minute sydney we haven't even so last week we did a patreon episode surprise and sydney was like we want tea send us tea have you been reading the tea that people are sending someone wrote something really good oh say it hold on hold on well i don't want to read one

that's like too long but people are giving us all of their business um and we love it i love when you guys listen to what we say and you actually do what we're talking about um bruh say what messy okay hold on um okay okay this is from should i say his name no don't say the name just say what okay this is from our boo voo okay that's all you're getting um okay so y'all want some piping hot tea boom yes we do bet so cheater stories i got you okay sliding into my dms are two different married men they're sending nudes talking about wanting to come visit my boyfriend and i and willing to fuck despite covid married man one is a flight attendant who has free flights and lives on the east coast and is willing to book a one-night flight for me and my boyfriend to fuck

even though he has a whole ass wife married man number two lives in canada on the east coast he has two whole ass kids and a wife wow problematic talking about how he wants to make my cheeks clap and i'm like sir clutches pearls but also i'm a terrible person so like if his stroke game is really that bomb i'm gonna have to see it to believe it just saying we're not trying to fuck because covid is not something we want to catch so yes is this tea hot enough for you also i have receipts to prove it too whoo wow yuck yes i mean is that wait is that a gay do we know if it's a gay man or a woman okay i figured from the flight attendant you know lol lol um i think that one i had another

friend told me today that they're cheating on the guy that they're seeing and at first I was like that's so fucked up but people are bored they're like I have to spice up my life right now and the only way they're gonna do that is stepping out I don't think that's the only way to stay you could learn a hobby you could uh skydive there's no COVID in the sky I don't think actually it's airborne it might be more dense COVID up there um but I I don't know I think a lot of people are unhappy in their relationships right now um and i think that a lot of us are kind of self-sabotaging right now we're doing stuff that we know we have no business doing but we're like well whatever the world is all going to hell anyway so let me get it in before it burns um which is funny because

it's probably gonna burn you won't be burning later um but i just i think that is there anybody who's listening to this right now who's actually happy like truly happy like you're in a good place financially you're you're content with what your house is doing your baby's not colicky your zoom classes are going smooth is there anybody who's listening to this that is actually truly happy like content and is like well i wanted to be inside anyway yeah i feel like i'm like better you know like this has like forced me to like I guess do more you know just like be outside more it's put me in a situation where it's like okay I'm forced to be inside now whereas like I just like would just choose to be inside before but now it's like okay I'm getting outside every day

I'm doing these things daily I'm making my apartment look better constantly and it's like I'm doing all these things I mean I feel like I mean the downside is I'm not seeing people i'm not seeing my friends i'm losing social skills as a result but i'm like i feel better podcast industry is going off right now yeah so it's like okay i'm i feel okay right now in this moment i mean in an hour who knows but you said you feel okay in this moment but are you happy yeah i feel happy i feel fine yeah okay i love that for you well if you're happy then i'm happy for you but thank you i'm not happy if i can say the same but that's crazy i'm like wow andrew that's wow wow that's us right now on way to rub your joy in our faces no no but i mean part of a

part of where i'm getting my joy is from i mean we we get to see each other once a week i get to see the content that you put out constantly i think that you're really having you know a really great moment both of you right now online i i'm happy to see other people thrive as a result and i feel like you are damn you are in a good place are you fucking like what is going are you are you sitting on the new dick that sydney's gonna get in yes i'm not sitting on a chair actually i'm sitting on a giant cock yay sitting on a giant cock that is the title of the episode sitting on a giant guck um okay well i i like this but i um forgot what i was gonna say i um i don't know if you guys can hear any of the noise happening in my apartment right now but

my uh oh no the title the title of the episode should be are you happy because we do i do want people who are happy hit us up put it tell us why i think people who are happy are just grateful they just genuinely genuinely are like it could be worse i'm glad that i have the people i have nobody has died i'm glad to be alive just super i mean i'm grateful you can be grateful and not be happy you could be grateful for what you have and and and not be a happy person is that true right yeah because you can be focused on the things that you don't have still or you're just not happy you can be like ah well thank god i have this apartment and thank god for my cats and thank god for this giant cock that i'm sitting on um but uh still be like sad um it's not i don't

know and i'm not trying to bring anybody's mood down if you're happy and you know it clap your hands clap your hands but andrew i think it's cool that you think uh you like what we're doing on social media this week is the least like i haven't there are days that this week that i didn't even log on to my instagram because i was like yeah i'm not i'm not doing this to myself today like i haven't been on it today i wasn't on it yesterday and i don't think i even opened my instagram at all on monday so proud of you but you're posting like the patreon stuff like once a week or right you have to that's work yeah we're in quotation in a program friend we gotta yeah but that lasts a window like it doesn't matter to me like that you haven't logged on

the past two days it's like that those videos have been like lasting yeah you know and the in my mind the feedback has been good and i feel like i like posting content like that because it's like oh i don't even have to be funny i'm just talking about what i do or what i don't want to do and it's relatable so that's great i love that i love that people like watching those because i i work hard ish i work hard on those so that's cool they're good um okay so what what are some things that maybe i should be talking about in the next video because i have nothing prepared sydney are you watching a video over there sorry i was like i i wasn't on instagram like all last night and then you just mentioned that and i was like i had to check

and i was like what the fuck um i was like yeah damn we wasn't on there we wasn't on there yesterday crazy wow unbelievable oh oh okay so um i had well it wasn't like a i don't know if i should bring it up yeah bring it up bring it up do it you and these glasses worry you idiot dude they're like the the cardi b what album did she just release last year oh my god what was that called with like i like it privacy invasion of privacy yeah those are good cardi are you is this a good time to be setting boundaries with people because i just feel like individuals are very unstable and they're doing things that they wouldn't normally do but because they're so out of whack they're like i'm gonna come to your house and eat all

your snacks but it's i don't normally do this can you please tell us what happened somebody came to your house and ate all your snacks what do they eat i feel like it just keeps happening at my house that like people just get comfortable and they're like i'm gonna eat your snacks i'm a drink your LaCroix which is fine but I'm like is it I'm not this is not the BuzzFeed office I don't have unlimited of anything I have to go out and buy these breadsticks yeah um well Sydney you do have a snack filled house okay no Sydney's house is like a playground for single men and children that is what the snack she's got gummy things she's got crunchy things sweet and savory things she is like lucky charm slash cinnamon toast crunch in the same box so sydney and you

have you live also in like a stoner's dream so i think that you know so you're blaming me okay god i'm blaming you i'm blaming you i am andrew what do you have to say i just think it's interesting i really thought that marie was gonna bring this up but i guess i'll be the one to do it i mean just a few short months ago you were on this same exact situation just on the opposite it end thank you what are you talking so now you're getting upset this is with well wow andrew said with the cereal the cereal gate girl first of all that was a whole motherfucking year ago bitch a whole year ago yes but the shoe is the shoe is on the other shoes on the other cereal boxes um yes no andrew crazy it wasn't the same and how is that not the same how is that not the

same because at the time it sounded like what we did announce that it was carolina right can we say carolina okay okay um carolina was upset because it was a you were doing it consistently you know no and so she was upset that i had said something about the the type of cereal or like how much cereal was left but she was like i i got cereal for you like because i know you eat cereal she she thought that I wasn't being appreciative she said you would come to her house eat her cereal or something and then she started keeping cereal in the house because of that and then you came to the house I can't believe we're rehashing this again and you were like it was not even any cereal in this box or whatever the joke was whatever the comment was and that is what set

the whole thing off and now you're saying someone came to your house and ate all of your snacks and this is not where they're supposed to do that so the i guess the only real difference here is that the the person didn't comment on you not having enough food for them to eat that's kind of the only difference right now i know could i know because could you imagine if they if they brought up you know the snack supply not being where they like it well they wouldn't because i have so much well you did before they got there how many popsicles if somebody has a box of popsicles at their house how many popsicles should you have one one yeah wait how many popsicles did they have three they had three popsicles and an ice pop and an ice cream i mean

they had four and then they went in the fridge and they took food out that was leftovers for the week and they helped themselves to a serving of food oh my god this person will be upset

then they opened another package of snacks that would finish my Oreos they finished that they did they ate the Oreos to the face they ate a sleeve of Oreos in front of me and then I was like oh they must have bought those from home because there's no way there's no way I would eat that many Oreos if I didn't pay for them and then well I guess an entire sleeve of Oreos after what four popsicles it was mixed in during Oreos then I also saw some fruit stacks being consumed yep

some some airheads were consumed um and i'm not i'm not gonna get i'm not gonna really get into it but if you go to their house what they got over there kale water water and vegetables which we know is the anti-sydney right there that's the city so i couldn't personally do that to them because it's just that setup is it's not like that so wow that was funny i mean i i don't know i i was brought up the way that my mother raised me if you're eating if you're making something and there's someone in that room with you or there's someone in the house you offer them what you're making you you eat with the person that's in your house and then um if you go to somebody's house and they have stuff you don't just take it you're supposed to ask

you're supposed to ask hey can i get one of these oh can i try that blah blah blah that's how i was raised but this real comfortable opening the freezer digging through the boxes picking a flavor licking it and putting it back that is i'm like that is i've known sydney for several years and i'm not doing that in her house i'll i'll go get something and be like can i grab some of these fruit snacks or oh i'll take a popsicle if i see you going to get one but like well i offer i do offer i right i feel like i'm a pretty decent host because i'm like well you were you were a great host this week sis to me and to your friend who ate all your food were you like getting toward like the tipping point like what could this person have done that like you would have been like

stop a fifth popsicle would you have ever called them out i don't know i think that's my problem because it's at the end of the day i don't need to eat all these popsicles anyway i don't need all these snacks they're not good for me i need someone to eat them you need a little bit more of that uh yeah the kale chips at the house yeah but when i know people are coming over i set my refrigerator up for like guests so i just need to just let it rock and just be like well the guests are coming over this was what it's what i bought the oreos for the people to come I bought the chips for y'all. So, like, I need to just stop being petty and just be like.

You did not buy those chips. No, you didn't. No, I bought. I have a bag of chips for myself. And then I bought a bag of chips for the group. Your friend was running through those snacks like the Tomb Raider. I don't even. Running through the snacks like the Tomb Raider.

That's a good title. That's a title as well. That is so long. It's too long. Running through the snacks like the Tomb Raider or Tomb Raider. I don't know. Or a snack Raider. I don't know.

There's something there. All I know is that it's, I was shocked because every time this person came back in the room, I was like, oh, my jaw hit the floor. I was like, oh, I said, jam, don't even eat that much in this house. And all I ever do is see that cat eating and sitting. So yeah, eating and sitting. That's what my, that's what my jam master flex does. Well, I think we got to wrap it up because I do have to go get this hair done.

And how many ads do we have, Andrew? i think like three i don't know three or three all right we're gonna do those ads like the tomb can i pay you uh to just do the ads for us ah yikes how many ads is that i thought it was just one andrew i don't i don't i haven't checked i thought it was like well you know when by the time this they get to this part of the episode they'll they'll have fast forwarded through the ads anyway stop that he's going to delete delete delete we work hard to do those ads maybe just throw the ads in here hey unofficial expert listeners at the very end that's where they that's where companies love putting the it's only one ad actually it's only one gorgeous

sydney i will do the ad for you my nappy headed beautiful god oh my god how dare it is very nappy it's disgusting right now it's good it's a little um sailor moon uh bump it looks good yeah also we should watch sailor moon again um adrian was saying that it's so problematic because the girls kept talking about how skinny they were and how they didn't they they can't eat today and i didn't know that's what they were teaching the kids i don't know if they were eating disorders but i know she said they talked about it in the first episode so i don't know if it was the whole series well i'm to watch a couple of episodes were they superheroes what was sailor moon i don't remember annoying as fuck they just they just talk too much i was like

why do you want to watch it there's other things no there's not other things she wants to hate watch it i need to hate watch like emily and paris before we get out of here emily and paris was a fucking great show and I killed it I watched it all in one night and yes we're mad at this bitch that went to Paris and didn't know any French and she went

in there and talked to everybody like they're just gonna take me in with open arms but it just was a great escape who is on the show is this an old show or a new show Lily Collins or something like that yeah Lily Collins I am not watching it but everyone's talking about it they hated

it they kept saying that this is like sex in the city but like younger and i was like no it's not this bitch can't dress everything she's wearing is tacky tacky tacky nobody would wear that but it was supposed to be on spent on like americans are loud and they don't have taste so when they come to paris they look they look busted okay well that's that sounds right to me yeah i don't need y'all to watch emily paris i'm just saying don't let people like stir you away from watching something that actually it might be good for you it might not be for them but it was cute for me you liked it i liked it i liked it i'm saying with my motherfucking chest it was great that was

okay because that was a journey yeah it was very unclear you're like it was dumb it was bad i was i was like oh i hated her but i was like at the end i was kind of rooting for her low-key but i'm not i don't want to watch that okay fine i can look out my window and see problematic americans every single day truth that can't dress that friend who can't dress um okay well um are we setting intentions for the week are we uh are we talking about sex moves for the weekend what are we closing this episode i'm gonna read a book i'm gonna read a book it's like how to read a whole book how to be a rich person or something like that i'm gonna read that because i need to get my finances in order okay and or how to become rich or something i gotta get the title together

suze oarsman orman whatever hold on hold on oh i think sydney's leaving um okay you don't have to come back friend we could just end the episode here yeah i feel like we've already ended it like the way you got up and walked away she threw the headphones on the ground like the headphones well she's getting the book i would imagine yeah here's the book amazing sydney has books in her house i am impressed the book is called i will teach you to be rich show me the cover and when i posted on instagram people were like yo the book is really good i didn't use any of your time best seller they said yo i read that shit it was so good i didn't do nothing the stuff they told me to do but it is really good if i really stuck by it i would i would be better with money so you're

gonna read this book this weekend or you're gonna read the book for the week no this weekend i'm do it it's just a six six it's just a six six week program that works six so you're gonna do six weeks in one day got it love that for you no guilt no excuses no bullshit just a six week i can't speak all right y'all know what well good luck with the books is i see you doing the back cover beautifully brilliant it's gonna take a while to get through the book i'm gonna do it i can read i just reading out loud is hard at times shut the fuck up okay guys i'm out marie's gonna finish the podcast without me because i have to yeah because you can't read ads oh yikes now that hurts andrew i've come a long way i'm way better you have you're yes you're

Andrew you said that for real I was just bouncing off Andrew said he was tagging a joke babe I was circling back babe that hurt I'm taking that personal and you'll hear from my people

okay love that for you can't wait to see the bundles later have a good oh actually I'm gonna see you tonight yes yeah see you tonight I'm so excited I'm doing this show tonight and I'm gonna bomb and it's gonna be fun Bring a box of popsicles for me please Thank you so much

Okay guys make sure you rate, subscribe, review Whatever, leave comments Tell us what you're happy for Tell us what makes you happy Bye friends Bye Tracy Soren. Produced by Andrew McGuire. Cover art by Sandy Honig. To listen to this podcast ad-free, sign up for Forever Dog Plus at foreverdogpodcasts.com slash plus. Check out

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