MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Blood Plus w/ Claire Parker

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

This week Syd and Marie have on Claire Parker! The three chat facial MESS, the Beckhams?! Gen Z, and more!  Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description four for four oh you're listening to max wow way hey we're back at we're back at this place again well well well yes we're here and uh i'm excited yeah i'm really really excited oh too excited about well you know i'm back this is this baby's back oh sydney's cousin is here yes i'm back on my mid 75 i'm not gonna do hard this time because that's too much so what's the difference between mid and hard um we working through it you know i'm saying it's it's in uh workshop mode so i'm not gonna work out twice a day i didn't realize you was working out twice a day yeah that you have oh you know what because we do video now

we should just bring you in claire yeah because you could talk to also i have a lot to say about 25 hours. So please, I'm like chomping at it. Have you done it before? No, but I've thought about it. We'll do the cuts. Fix it in post. Yes, Marie. Bring her in. Yes. Our guest today was on The Unofficial Expert years

ago as our boarding school expert. But today she's here to talk about mess. Claire, I don't even know. Is your last name Parker? It's Claire Parker, y'all. Good guess. because I was like I feel like I've seen it before that's got to be what it is oh yeah did you change your last name no okay you're a business you can't change your last name yeah

I also have this crazy thing so I have my mom's last name so and like my brother has my dad's last name like my parents are like married and they're like both in my life but they my mom didn't change her name and I took my mom's name or my mom gave me her name and my brother my dad's name and so I kind of feel like it's a point of pride you know what I mean interesting I'm real feminist your mom didn't want your her son to have her last name i think they were like what seems fair boys get boys girls get girls divide it down like keep it gender war all the way in terms of generation in terms of like continuing the family name yeah it was going to be through him anyway yeah and i think she was like parker's a girl's name like a girl should have a last name

parker um y'all doing something different in that home um but you know what it's good because you're because if say for instance your your brother does anything messed up yes that your mother you're like i don't know him it's safer to claim the girls it is i think zoe saldana husband took her last name i would take her last name too she i mean who is her husband yeah exactly mr saldania yeah he's italian i do think if you're marrying someone like zoe saldania you have to be like up front just like well i recognize like the order here yeah like You can't go in there at all maintaining that you have any power.

Exactly. She's an avatar twice. I don't know how I feel about a nepo husband. It's just a house husband. That is, yeah. He's a stay-at-home husband. Right.

And they have kids and he takes care of the kids and stuff. He cooks and cleans. She shoots in outer space. This is true. They can't both be working. Someone has to be there if the kid gets sick and leaves school.

Yeah, she's always blue or green or something. Yeah, so she is like 24-7 working. Is she? She is like one of the highest concerning actresses of all time. She's the highest. She just became the highest.

What? So even if she's not working a lot. Her movies have made the most, but you got to think about it like this. It's all the Avatar movies that Guardians of the Galaxy was in. Yeah. That's what's really bringing it over.

All Avatar. And then what else was she in? I think Zoe was the breakout star of Center Stage. Yes. And then do you know with in Crossroads, Britney Spears was in it

and then also the girl from Orange is the New Black. And then also it was written by Shonda Rhimes. What? Yeah. Claire we glad you know what

I'm glad that she finally made it to mess what else can you tell us about Shonda Rhimes hit us all the Snapple facts things of movies and celebrities and things that you know

we usually don't really care about listen I got a couple I had a Britney Spears podcast for a year so I like know a lot of Britney Spears okay so let's talk

do you think she should be are you happy she's out of the conservatorship let me say this okay I don't I'm not one to use the word ableist a lot but I feel like the conversation

around Britney Spears is the only one where I'm like you guys you're allowed to be mentally ill it's okay Like you're We are Most people are

You are allowed But you shouldn't be allowed To shoot in .5 And be mentally ill And be a world famous Let me say something Have you been on Facebook? That's all that's happening

Exactly I have not been on Facebook People's moms and aunts And uncles and dad Can I say You're worried about her Shooting in .5 Other people are like

Shooting up pizzerias Okay There's like way worse thing That mentally ill people are shooting She's Britney Spears They need to give her a finsta She should not be posting On the Britney Spears page

The way she posted On the Britney Spears page I hear you But I feel like for some reason right now, people are either like she has to be imprisoned and drugged into a coma or we have to pretend that she could be president. I'm like, it's OK. Listen, we fucked her up. She was drugged out of her mind for like 20 years. She obviously was predisposed to mental illness and then she had a crazy life and then they put her on like some weird drip.

Plus Kevin Federline. Yeah. Taking all her money. Yeah. I'm sure they've shocked her a couple of times. Yeah. I'm sure she. But I think he still gets he still gets money from her because he has the kids.

They're 18. he actually came out with a book in the fall because he ran out of and I did read it he ran out of money no he did not what is he buying

you know sneakers um tracksuits you know he's like he's gaining and losing a lot of weight and I think that that's expensive

wait what getting big and getting skinny is expensive that's I don't know that's kind of what he's up to he's like doing

the biggest loser and then he's like doing it again I know they get a little check for that sure but you have to think travel yes yes

this is true oh right because he's trying to fly first class that's where he He's like, I'm Kevin Federline. And they're like, who? Yeah.

That's how you humble somebody. Let them say their full name and then be like, who? Or you don't even have to say who. You just give the face like, hmm. I don't recall. Kevin Federline. What's fucked up, though, is that we all recall. Like, that is the thing that's so fucked up,

is that, like, it did work. We do all, like, my dad knows who Kevin Federline is. You know what I mean? And that's why I say never platform your partner. They don't need to be posted on your socials. They don't need to be friends with your friends. No. You don't need to be introducing them to your network.

It's like, yes, you were in my life. And they say, hi, hi, hi. And then bye, bye, bye. What do you need to know what his favorite color is and like what he's doing on the weekend? You don't need to know any of that. It was because she was so famous at the time that who she was with was also famous. It's really that simple. Because he was a dancer.

Well, because he was with her. Like, we didn't care about like, I've never seen him. You know, she was surrounded by a paparazzi all the time. So if you're in a car with Britney Spears, you're in the photo. And that's why you got to put a paper bag over their face or a mask. You keep them inside. Yes. Back entrance.

I'm leaving. You come out. Yes. Count to 38. You get an Uber and I'll meet you at the venue. Hey, babe, take the train. I'll see you there. I will tell you that regular men do that to women as well.

They're like, hey, we don't need to walk in the same place. Meet me on the side. Regular men, like not fam. What did he just say? What did he say? He said facts. Did he say facts? He said facts.

He's not even famous. A man in the room said fact. He's a regular man in the room said, that's true. That's what I thought I heard. I just didn't want to say it wrong. What do you mean facts? Regular men shouldn't be... Well, he's not mic'd, but I'm saying this is, we know that this is true.

Are you saying famous men or like civilian men? Civilian, pedestrian men who have a job. He obviously is a working man, but it's men that like, you know, are like, hey, I don't want to be seen with this other regular woman. Is it because the woman is ugly or you feel like people... wanted to see your id know what you're lying about like what is it because you're married like how many offers how many options do you have this is the thing this is the thing with men they think that they have endless options all of them all of them do all of them even the incels the

people in the basements using their mother's wi-fi they feel like they got endless options and it's really not true and they do though no they do yesterday i was at a place and and the hostess was like this guy comes in with a different one every single week and i and i know him and i've seen him with different and i'm like rich no no it's bad out there no he's not is he tall he's not tall so what it's just that bad out there it's a different version of the same woman coming in smile hi oh my god is it a different woman or she wearing a different wig every time no it's a different woman let me tell you i've got single friends it's bad out there i mean and then i know men and they're cleaning up i'm like loser men if you wait till you're 30 you

could have a model for no reason you get on raya you could have any it's just that she ain't been on Vogue. Isn't that the song that drinks it? Yeah, yeah. I don't think that's how it goes. It goes different, though. That's the remix. That is the remix. Those are the words for sure. I don't know. I don't know about the cadence.

I don't know about the flow of it. Alright, let's get into our mess. Sydney, what is your mess for the week? Okay, so my mess for the week is that, obviously, the jug is back because... Can you hold the jug into your camera? The jug is back, baby. It looks full. Can I see?

In the cold, you're carrying this? Well, that's why I have this bag. Are you wearing gloves? No, I got to get gloves. That's one mess is that I have my bare hands out in negative two weather. But yo, I was the other day I was walking and I have like, you know, these thin pants and I photo. It was my ass cheeks shaking, jiggling in the loose pants. Okay, brag.

so the wind was so strong that your ass was shit no it was it was me just walking walking and it was like don't drop that done like the butt was it was just a lot of meat it's like a lot of butt meat and this was a cold thing no it was like the cold the cold is the ass nude did you get the butt for christmas no i didn't get the butt for christmas it's the you guys you guys warned me the taco bell the mcdonald's the bacon egg and cheese the red bull the candy the all the trash that i was eating like you know i'm i'm basically staten island i'm you know the the landfill i'm just oh no i know i can't live you just called my friend staten island and that's why i have to talk to myself like that so i could get myself out of this mind frame and be like oh yeah i'm

gonna have dominoes at 3 a.m on a tuesday like it was just i don't know what i you know the winter you're supposed to be hibernating and you know filling up and chilling on the couch and laying down and i was just doing too much of that does it have to be taco bell it can't be like a lentil soup no you can't make no stews we've already been through this marie i'm obsessed no it's not I think I might get a crock pot, though. Get some chili, get some, you know, stews. Maybe like a, what is it? A beef bouillon?

What is it called? I don't know. Bouillon, yeah. Bouillon? I think that's like a block of, yeah, that's a cube flavoring. You're going to be like a horse just like licking flavor. Girl, MSG through the roof. No, what is it?

It's like a beef. Yeah, I'm thinking about just sucking salt this winter. You're talking like a beef borscht? It's like a beef stew or something. No, like, it's got, like, mushroom and noodles in it. Yeah, yeah. Beef shragon off or something. No, no, that's too white.

That's very white. Yeah, we got to be sweet. You're a black history month? Yeah, we... You know, beef... Beef bouillon, sis? Sorry. But she's not right either.

I'm just trying to help. Everybody's wrong. I'm not eating it. I'm not eating it. But I'm saying, all I know is that I felt my actual cheeks clap, and I didn't want them to. Well, how fast were you walking? Because maybe I need to pick up my pace.

I was not walking fast. That's what alarmed me, that it was like a, it was a, like, I felt like, it felt like I was twerking, but I wasn't. May I ask a question? Yes. Were they clapping together or they were clapping your thighs? They were clapping individually. Oh, good skills.

I think, keep the ass, start an OnlyFans. New year, new ass, new fans. We're trying to grow the pop. Hey, I can do both. the thing is is like this is also like I need to be healthier

you know my birthday is probably a pass when this comes out or whatever and it's just like girl just take care of yourself

it shouldn't be this hard but your stomach is still flat what is the problem it is not stomach is flat and it's fat but there's also stuff

inside her that could be like full of cholesterol or something oh oh Dr. Claire I'm sorry are you WebMD

I just heard of cholesterol and I didn't mean to bring it up is it because I'm older you think cholesterol is happening I just think that isn't that what's scary isn't that what's scary

about junk food is like cholesterol and like it's not good for you can kids have high cholesterol yes and you know what I actually watched a documentary about like

when kids get diabetes and they get like a ring of like fat around their neck and that is like diabetes so well I don't have that no you don't have that

but I'm just saying kids could get it kids have had it but I do know I remember being in school and if you have the dark around your neck then you don't have a washcloth

no that it's diabetes. It's a sign of diabetes. And so I checked that. Dark net diabetes? Yeah. In my school, like in the nursing station,

like you could go in and like if you had a fever or whatever, and then I would just shortly catch diabetes quick. Girl, how many big kids was in your graduating class? I went to a very giant school,

like 3,000 kids. Oh. Maybe they caught it quick. I heard giant, I thought something else. No, no. My 600 pound life. Yeah, no.

The thing is, the bad habits and eating poorly it reaches all types of people. It does not discriminate. And some of your finest, funniest, nicest people, it's affecting. Hottest, youngest people.

Hottest, youngest people. It's affecting them and that's me. And so that's why I got to stop. I remember when I was at a party one time and this girl was checking her blood because she has diabetes. They pulled out their machine to check your blood sugar level.

And I said, can I try? What? And so they pricked me. Can I try? Yeah. Girl, same needle? No, no, no. Sydney, you want eight?

No, different needle. Different needle. In 2026? No, it's different, friend. It's okay. Sydney, you're not even on prep. Oh, my. You know I did an ad for that.

Girl. I did a PSA. And you didn't get any prep to go? I have a prep gift bag. No, I have to sign up through a physician. You can't just get prep. Damn, sis, you're not even prepared. I'm unprepared.

I'm sorry I even brought this up. Marie, what's your mess? I just want to know what's the end of this so your ass was clapping so hard in my ass that you were like

I gotta drink some water yeah exactly I was like either either I go to live on Sundays in Miami

with my with my ass yes or I get my ass in order and start drinking water stop the sugar

stop the late night so I just I need I can do it it's not a new year's resolution it's a new new lifestyle I just really need to lean in

because you want me you want me to live for a long time, right? I want your butt to be fat. I want you to have a big booty so I can call you Big Booty. I just want your butt to be big. The cadence was perfect.

Yeah, thank you so much. No drink, but... I believe you could have both. I believe you could eat so many apples and so much lentil soup that the ass stays fat and the blood sugar gets lowered.

I will say I touched Sydney's butt yesterday and it's crazy right now. I see why she booed up. me and my little but no man well whatever but you know what I'm saying Claire are you a butt gal

you're into butt am I into butt yeah no I think boobs I feel like if I were to you know I feel I don't have boobs so I feel like I'm more interested in those if I were to like throw on a naked photo of someone you sound very heterosexual just the trembling

you're like I didn't know if you were like what do you have to offer And I was like, I know what you're working with over there. You give it, you know, Lululemon, Aloe, you know, it's just like, you know, slender. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful gowns. Beautiful gowns. Gorgeous gowns. Stunning, stunning gowns.

Marie, what's your, what's your mess? Yo, I took an Adderall yesterday for the first time in years. I took an Adderall yesterday because I have all this work to do. And when I tell you that I'm stronger than Adderall Beach, it didn't work. i took it and i know that i'm supposed to be like sitting in front of my computer or sitting in front of my work before it kicks in girl i said well before it kicks in let me let me put all this stuff away in my house before it kicks in let me wash these dishes before like i kept doing other stuff you don't think that's the adderall that's how i move on a regular basis and then i was like

all right i i opened up the slides that i'm trying to work on beach i went live on instagram i saw that i was live on ig for i don't know half an hour i said man it's 2020 again what's going on i'm telling stories i told them that i had taken an adderall and they were like the way i kept deviating from the story they were like yo that adhd is kicking your ass kicking your ass i was like your ass i was like no no what it is you might need a higher dosage or or for real whatever you're working on you have to just lean into that you cannot do the washington edition you got to Make a list. Girl, I didn't even finish washing the dishes.

They're still in the sink. More Adderall. You need twice as much Adderall. I woke up this morning and I was like, damn. They're still here. But you got to connect with all those followers online. I did. A hundred and something people did tune in to hear me tell a story about my weekend.

And then I FaceTimed, you know, Coochie Reaper in London. Yes, he has a man named Coochie Reaper. His name is... Listen, let me tell you something. The Adderall had me focused. had me focused on how fine he was looking yesterday

I was like oh my god listen she was focused on everything except being focused this isn't an Instagram handle

no no no I thought this was a man that popped up on your Instagram live and I was like beware of him don't let the Adderall tell you he's cute

he will kill you since I'm quite aware of him he is the coochie reaper for real he's reaped your okay got it

he's reaped your listen hey Hey, my pastor watches this podcast. Yes, yes, yes. I'm trying to be respectful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, just this guy, you know, this man in London.

But people were talking about him in the chat, in the live yesterday. So I did that. And then I was trying to get to the gym from like 8 a.m. in the morning before the Adderall. I didn't get to the gym till 5 p.m. You got there, though. I did. Thank you. 75 medium, you know.

Claire, you are an enabler. Like, girl, I know you've been lifting up your friends every time they do something messy and toxic. you know you're alive I'm sorry in what world is getting to the gym before the end of the day messy and toxic

that sounds to me like you got there I was one of the last people to leave the gym though they were like hey the gym is closing in 20 minutes I had my laptop in my bag

I thought I was going to get work done at the gym no I went home laptop never got opened back up again so you know it is what it is

listen I gave up on getting Adderall when I heard it was hard to get Adderall I just went well then I stopped I go if I need an Adderall to get an Adderall

I'm out I'll just get done what I can I'll get done whatever the Lord with this brain he gave me. But I feel like you, I'm just like talking to you.

I feel like you get a lot of work done. I mean, your whole podcast is about reading books. So you have to be getting a lot of work. I was definitely at least reading a book. So that was something, which is funny because to me, I was like, oh, well, it's just a book. But then sometimes I'm like,

oh, I guess a lot of podcasts aren't reading a book. No, no, no, no. Not sponsored by books, haven't seen the books. We watching the movies. Yeah. We watching the TV show. oh my god can i do my mess from long time ago i already told marie but when i was on unofficial

expert the political expert i talked about a um an orgy that happened in my high school when i was a freshman you did and in a lot of detail baby i was like okay exactly what the fuck was she was naming names and the people heard her saying people on the street and they go you talked about me on that podcast i went oh no which people which people approach you say their names now i will say it was a learning curve for me because i was like what the fuck is wrong with me claire and i like it's something that sat with me and i said you have to learn from this because those people you're allowed to have an orgy without being shamed by claire parker were you shaming them i thought you were just saying what was going on i was teasing but some of them i was

I don't think that's something that we do hear on the podcast. Off the record, which ones? The thing is, we had just started the pod. We were very brand new. So you were like, who listened to this? Well, I just started comedy. I had no concept that anybody I'd ever know would click a link I'd post. Well, that's the thing.

It turns out that when you start a podcast, that's the only people listening. It's people who want to hear if you're talking about them. That's the thing. That's the thing. I remember like one of the very first podcasts I ever did. I was like, no one's ever going to hear this. I'm not even going to listen to this. the person i was talking to of course best friend listened to it shared it with him i said yeah

that's the only people at the beginning are listening are the exact people who might be talked about and when it turns out they're right then you're like one i feel that i talked about you and two like i'm humiliated that you know that i think you're worth talking about and three you know what i mean that's what it really is because i got caught one time i had a girl text me a comedian say hey a lot of people i've talked to say that you like walk around and open conversations by talking shit about me and i was like first of all no one's ever shut that conversation down i use it because it's a really good opener and everyone agrees with me so like i don't know who's telling you heard this but i really want to know i don't know who's

telling you this but like guaranteed if i opened it that conversation with them they were talking shit back but i was like more than anything i'm just shut this down because i'm so embarrassed that you know you're my opener like that's like i'm a fucking comedian i'm a conversationalist professionally i can't think of a second thing she can't be interesting to me we just trying to grab the attention at the start of the convo yeah i'm just trying to say what do we have in common I bet we hate this girl and I'm sorry I was always right I used it because it worked damn now I need to know who this gal

is I mean after this after this girl we're going to have a lot of things across notes okay so wait so you talked about the orgy and then they they saw you and they were like yo you mentioned my name and then were they like well you missed some things

actually it was a guy who wasn't even the orgy I think you guys asked me to like were there black people at my school and so I just started naming some wow we gotta get Z-Way on the phone right now wait a minute

you were like yes Tom Jeff oh my god JJ yo was this in 2016 this had to be

a long time well I started 2014 it had to be 2014, 2015, 2016 like in that area when yeah damn

I didn't know listen I've learned that was like a wake up call to me okay but wait no it shouldn't be a wake up call first of all

right if you know somebody is an entertainer or a comedian or like a writer or whatever. If we've had some kind of experience together or I know this experience, I think I'm allowed to tell my perspective

of the experience. I got to run it by you. I met you when you were black. It was true. You were at my high school. You're allowed to share it if it's funny. Just make sure it's funny. If it's not funny and you're talking about me

and you're a comedian, you don't need to be talking about me. That's how I feel about it. Are we laughing? Great. are we not laughing hey you said hey keep my name out of it hey that's how i feel listen if you want all funny experiences then you better make sure every experience is funny because sometimes i've had situations with people i'm like my side of it it was no haha he's you you actually did me dirty

or you were not nice but claire wasn't at the orgy she was talking about it that's so true but so you weren't even in a room you weren't like even no but it got busted by the school so it was like a big deal we had to have like a sit down meeting about it how many people were in the orgy

just refresh my memory I'm gonna say six or seven yeah that's an orgy for sure yeah that's definitely a good time

you weren't there no and so next time you wanna do boots on the ground journalism you're gonna have to be in the room

you gotta you gotta ask in the room I believe I started saying I had learned a lesson we said girl put the orgy

on your vision board first of all the world is the world is ending right and so i think it's it's whatever whenever whoever whatever like why are we holding back everybody has a podcast now i mean if you're scared that somebody's gonna mention something that you

you might need to hit him up and repair something i had somebody do that to me one time this is i had a girl hit me up um and i couldn't figure out why she'd be calling we were like we had been kind of friends in the comedy world and we stopped being friends over something she called me out of nowhere and i never like called her back but then i found out she was calling me because she was doing a late night set um and she like was worried she was gonna get so famous that she needed to like tie up loose ends and i was like a late night is she famous now no no has anyone ever gotten famous from one late night set damn are you messy as hell i'm gonna be like yo i got at least four people i need to know i think white men in the 90s have gotten famous from late night

sets that's it yeah let me tell you this was i now i'll give it away this was like right at the beginning of covid so i don't even everybody was like um the world's ending we don't give a fuck about your four minutes on Kimmel. Yeah. You said Kimmel, too, so you were like, it's not even Jimmy Fallon, baby. It's Kimmel.

Not the Tonight Show? Wow. The Late Late Show on the Craig whatever. Yeah, the Craig one. Blair, I love this. Okay, so that's not your... My real mess is my face.

Yeah, girl, you got a chemical peel? Worse. I got laser with PRF. What's that? So they took my blood. they centrifuged it to turn it into a gel I think I want to do that

you could put it underneath your eyes right that's where I put it and I put it in my smile lines and then they also this funny so then I got Fraxel or I got some kind

it was like ECO2 I got some kind of laser that stung and then when all of like they like you know they come at you like with knives and needles

and then they take handfuls of your blood gel and they just smashed it back on my face and kind of put it back in there okay you know you had to do this pod right

for the people who aren't watching the episode of Sex and the City where Samantha got the peel and had to wear the beekeeper uniform. It's like that, but not all the way like that.

Not all the way. Listen, I said, this is a video pod. Are you guys not going for views? People love this shit. They love to see the stages of healing. This could be

a million hit TikTok, but I said, I'll bring my fucked up face to Sydney and Marie's. I also said this, when am I going to come looking my best up against you girls?

Might as well take the morning, work on myself, and show up and be kind of freak showy on the podcast. When did you do this to your face? noon.

So you did it today? You didn't do it yesterday? Four blocks from... You said I'm not rescheduling. I can do both. I said, perfect. I'll be in the town. You're not even wearing sunglasses? Nothing. Your eyes are the only thing that look good.

Listen, I'm honest. I'm real. If they were hearing this, they'd be like, what does their face look like? And now they'll know. It doesn't look bad. It doesn't look as bad as I was. yeah i like it because it's cold outside so it's like kind of icing it and keeping it from swelling now why did you do all this well i don't i don't know i'm gonna i'm trying to

i'm on video all the time i'm trying to keep it a little bit tight i've never done botox or ingest i'm trying to like right i want to get both so they inject your blood in your smile lines and that's supposed to fill it up like like collagen yeah and then it like it kind of dissipates after a few weeks but it's supposed to leave behind these super like like your blood is like maxed out with all of the what is it the PRF it's platelet rich something and the platelets are like the part of your

blood that like really boosts stuff so it's supposed to like enhance the blood does that work if you have sickle cell? I was going to ask that question you're black as hell I was like what is it? you are too black for the podcast I know you're the blackest

do you have to be like super healthy? I don't think you have to be healthy but that's weird because it's just like more whatever blood you already have it like emphasizes the blood you got

so you have to figure whatever blood you have blood plus blood plus write that down blood plus yeah that might be the title of the episode

blood plus how much does something like this go for like what's the price range this was $5,500 what what but it all

hey I'm sorry Claire if you're spending that much money you better walk out looking like Giselle Bouchon but it's all free Bouchon Bouchon

Bouchon Bouchon But it's the insurance covers it. Oh, right, right, right. That's it. That's a big-ass if, right? If they did it last year, they'll do it this year.

$5,500? It's everybody at his office. They know you can do it because it is. It's for skin cancer. Can you send us a before and after? Yeah, can you? Like what your face looks like

before you did it? Why? Do you get up here and go, look how much money Claire spends to look ugly? That's what you guys want to do to me? Girl, I thought you had more confidence than that.

No, man. I'm spending $5,500. You better be confident that you look good. Yeah. I'm trying to look better. I'm just trying to look better. Yeah, aren't we all?

No, so I'll send you pictures. You see cities into water now? Come on, baby. Like, look at me. I'm trying to do my best. It's hard out here, okay? We're all trying to look better. But yeah, damn.

I thought maybe you had a Groupon code or something. No, you can't do stuff like that on Groupon. That's the thing. The girls have to stop. You got to stop putting corners and, ooh, you know, a discount. Listen, your face, that is like your calling card. That, like, yeah, we're going to see that.

Send me the link to this place so I can see if they can give me a... I feel like there's all places all over the city that'll do it for like a range. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Now, can I pay for this with Medicaid? You'll have to check with your... I can't, girl. That part where you said Medi... I'm going to feel like that is not in that wheelhouse.

It does not fare well. We're learning so much today. Claire, I just want to say this before we even go further. You run your mouth. I feel like you probably get in trouble. Oh, my God. I just got in trouble. I can't believe I'm saying...

I just... You know what happened? I was talking to you about Yeah And what happened? I flew out in LA They go You know we all saw that video

Which video? They said that? They said it was It was circulated internally Wait, wait, wait What's the video? We don't know I was just saying

I'm suspicious of video Of apps trying to turn to video But I was going on and on I'm trying to learn Not to go on and on No, girl You should learn that After you leave here

Today Go on and on But why are you suspicious? Just because You remember in 2016 When Facebook said That video was the future Of everything

And then all those newsrooms fired all of their writers and hired entire video teams. And then they came out and said all the data they based that on was made up. And then all these video teams got laid off. And it was just like tons of people were laid off because Facebook lied. Why are you listening to Facebook? You said what year was this? 2020? 2016.

That was the time to be listening. That was the time to be listening to Facebook. You're right. But then I think TikTok did that to me too. They brought me into a meeting. Like it was a big meeting and they were like, TikTok's going long form. All anybody wants to watch is like 20 minute videos on TikTok. Now that's a lot.

and they had the data and this was in 2021 and they had all this data and the data was like more time is spent on longer videos yeah I think they're talking about Risa Tisa

she was doing those 10 minute videos those are the only videos we watched and I watched them at double speed but also I'm like of course people

and I never want to do that again and I skipped a bunch yeah but that's also just like if a video is longer more time spent watching it but also this is the thing

about video now people are watching movies while they're on their phone yeah so they're dumbing down the movie yes I've seen that

That's what Matt Damon was saying. He said it. He said they got to reiterate the plot like at least four times in the movie. Like Emily in Paris. They're like, well, no one's watching this, right? Well, I'm not. Are you watching it?

No. I watched it. And did you have your phone in it? The first season, I was like, this is not bad. She's not even in Paris anymore. It was a feel-good show for me. She's not even in Paris anymore.

Well, I mean, they're on like the fifth season. Yeah, she's in Rome. They're in the fifth season. She shouldn't be in Paris anymore. She graduated. she has money travel girl there's other places to go so are you still watching emily in paris in the beginning i was like it's cute and then the second season i was like okay she with the she was with the the the hot black guy i was like all right oh in a racial

okay i was like yeah this is this is kind of cute and then after the after like everybody kept dragging i was like now i gotta understand why i'm into this show and it was because i wanted to escape i wanted something that was like just foolish and unrealistic cindy you do love a foolish interesting show i do because i literally when i pick up my phone every time i pick it up either i get a really funny thing from the group chat but for the most part we're just getting bad news constantly constantly telling us the world is in it we about to die oh don't save your money we about to die you know you can turn those alerts off oh no no it's not even the alerts anymore i I took that app off.

I'm not on that app anymore. It's the Instagram. It's the TikTok. Like any news is bad news. Any news. Anything that I get emails for, they're letting us know. Oh, you know,

all that money you think you're going to have when you're 65? Where? Where is it going to be? Girl, who's emailing you? The New York Times? You can turn that off. You know, I give my...

I don't know if this is a mess for y'all, but you know, sometimes you just give your email because you want to get that 10%. Sometimes I give it just because I want to get free Wi-Fi. Like I'm at a cafe I have two email addresses.

One of them is just for spam. That's really smart. That's at Yahoo. She's been your friend all these years. That's a good idea. Well, because, I mean, and if you ever hold Cindy's phone in your hand, she's getting notifications all day.

Like my mom. Google alerts, news, text messages, because people love her. Like, she, everything on D&D. Yeah, I'm like, I don't want to watch something that's like feels so realistic to life because I'm like, I'll just be out in the world and talk to the people I know.

That's what's already going on. Let's talk about the three shows that Sydney was obsessed with that she made me watch that I was like, huh? You? Netflix?

And it was a, it's a hit. It's a hit. It was a hit. We watched the first season together and... You don't like the murder or what? I was like,

I said, why is she taking her clothes off on the first floor apartment with her blinds open? And he's behind a tree like this. Well, sometimes, sometimes if it's light outside and it's dark in the apartment.

You know what I mean? You're not seeing it. Yeah, it's really only... It was nighttime. It would be nighttime and she's on the first floor. Well, some girls are exhibitionists and they want to...

I do. They don't think they're going to get murdered. I barely have shades. Yeah. But you're on the seventh floor, you know, in the house. I'm on the second floor,

butt naked, just... Grateful for the tree that I have in front of my building. But, you know, she was on the ground floor. You garden level. So you didn't watch you?

Of course I watched you. Okay. All the seasons? I think I watched up until the most... I got sick. I said, it's too much murder, actually. I said, he has to get caught.

It's preposterous. It's too much murder, but somehow Law & Order SVU is still on the air. There's so much murder and sexual abuse. They're also giving us order. They're giving us law and order. It's not the same guy murdering every episode, right? If we were 22 years into one dude doing a murder a week,

you'd say, well, somebody's got to catch him or he's got to get a cold or something. Dexter was murdering for multiple seasons. See, I never saw Dexter, but that, exactly. and it was a good show very good show it was good and then you know

I think it jumped the shark but yeah Dexter and people were suspicious of him at the at the police department that he worked at so Sydney you

Emily in Paris and Industry oh my okay so I'm about to start I'm having a really hard time with the accents why?

I don't really understand British people you better cut the subtitles on yeah any any they're talking about finance and British accents

I'm like it's like two languages you have to master No, no, no. But I'm excited because I actually think we're going to... So you never watched it at all? I've watched two episodes and I'm about to binge it.

Binging is good, but I just want to let you know, any of this like finance, banking stuff, you don't need to know that. Yeah, just push through. That stuff is background. Just know all these people are fucked up. They're in banking.

People who are working with money and other people's money, you think they're good people? No. I don't want to work with somebody else's money. I don't want to take your money, if anything. if he's wearing a Patagonia vest he's a bad person

yeah it's not okay and then I feel like the show for me is about what makes people so upset

is it's like women being bad it's like all these characters are unbearable yeah

that's why we're watching you want to see a goody two-shoes that bitch is not getting dick down she ain't got no friends you don't think goody two-shoes get dick

you don't think they slide in their glasses they don't get dick at work they're not getting dick and at finance okay they're not getting to get not finance dick yeah well not like at work finance dick i wish there was more lesbian stuff going on in there uh you know there's a lot of sexual tension so but you know whatever i think that people need to get in with this it's like if if i was watching a show about all evil people this is a show okay it's all the lesser of evil and

also the if are you a bad person being bad or you're a good person doing bad things i mean it's a lot of people doing evil on shows. Succession is about a bunch of evil, rich people trying to, like, betray their families, isn't it? Bad Men is about evil I don't even know what Bad Men is about. Evil white men

in the 60s. Yeah, you know, it's all evil. We were talking to that man about industry last night. He tried to watch it at work, and he said, this is porn. They're just having sex. He said, I can't. I'm going to get fired. I can't watch this at work. I agree with him.

I don't remember how much sex there was in the first season. How do you feel about it? I would say it's probably not a good show to watch at work. Yeah. Right. Like she is like

getting eaten out. Like I feel like there's like raw dick out there. Yes. More women need to be getting eaten out on camera. Yes. I agree.

But maybe not. I'm not talking about in it. I agree. That's why I love the show. And I get that. But I understand maybe it might not be appropriate for work.

It might be too much. Right. Like at home. He did send me a picture of Harper wearing a strap. I said I don't remember that. you just gave it away friend girl she's literally giving it away oh that's episode one though right episode one yeah season one yeah how did i give that away beach i will say you've had four years

even i've seen that part it came out in 2020 no this is she's wearing a strap right now this is okay so now you're giving it away okay right so that's you babe that's you spoiler alert this is porn i was like she has a job don't you see her at work and he was like you think Port Starrs don't have jobs. They're real estate agents. They're nurses. I'm saying on industry. They're fixing washer machines.

Not well, but they're trying. On industry. She had to go to work. What are you talking about? But I don't know. Anyway, Claire, what is the mess that you actually wanted to talk to us about today?

Yes, yes, yes. Oh, it was my face. No. Oh, it was the mess. Oh, my God. Not my mess. I'm like, back to my face. Brooklyn Beckham and Victoria Beckham.

Let's get into it. Yeah. Okay. Do you know who the Beckhams are? Yeah. Should I let you? Zigga, zigga. Exactly.

I didn't know if I wanted for your audience. He bend him like Beckham, you know. The dad. The dad, yeah. David Beckham. Exactly. So David Beckham was the captain of the England soccer team. And then Posh, obviously, was in Spice Girls 20 years ago and now.

Legend, yes. Has worked her little tail off to have a respected clothing line, Victoria Beckham. So they have four kids. It's like Brooklyn's the oldest and then Cruz, Romeo, and they have a little girl named Harper. I will say, for as attractive as the parents are. Yes, I agree. only like one and a half of the kids is cute you kind of are like it's interesting it got lost no no there's an equation there's an equation that it's like there's a certain amount of like

hot yeah you can be and you pair with another two super hot people it's gonna be it might it might be a little ago you need a medium you need a parent and you know i always look at someone like i say jessica alba whose beauty is from being absolutely perfectly symmetrical you mix that with anything and you're gonna lose whatever the perfect like she has like a perfectly symmetrical face. I was not a person that I think about at all. Yeah.

That's because it's almost so boring it's symmetrical. You know what I mean? But she went on to become a billionaire. She had like the honest company. Yeah.

So she didn't have to be thought about anymore. I mean, after she did Honey, it was like, girl, you have to leave. No! What? Honey Daniels?

Yeah, girl. You didn't like her? Honey? You know, I worked down at the Santa. Girl. Santa! At the Santa.

At the Santa. Come on! First of all, Honey Daniels is, we are all a little bit of Honey Daniels. Is that what her name was? Honey Daniels?

Honey Daniels. I heard recently that part was written for Aaliyah. Oh, I did hear that. Yeah. Baby girl. Anyway. Back to the Beckhams. Yes.

They have this oldest son in Brooklyn. In 2022, he got married to Nicola Peltz. Nicola Peltz is the young, hot daughter of a very old billionaire. And I think it's important to know that her dad's old because I feel like they have like a grandpa-granddaughter relationship and not like a father-daughter relationship. Do you know what I mean? like you know how like a grandpa grandma doesn't they're just like impressed with whatever but i also feel like age aside if the parent is really really rich it's always a weird relationship with

the kids always a weird one but i feel like specifically in comparison to like because brooklyn because like the beckhams are rich too right and i think they have expectations of their kids right because they were like working class and they like made it big and they were not working class yeah i'm like she took a rose voice to work i know yeah remember she tried to say she was working class in the documentary and he came back in with his coffee mug like girl why are you on your line every day yeah he's like i do think that that was like you know maybe there wasn't money for the rest of stuff because the dad you know like dads don't spend money on unreasonably girl speaking of dads claire when i first met you when we met you you were like yeah my dad

has money he's gonna come to our show he's gonna pay for drinks i don't think i okay but pay for drinks yeah nobody's dads was pulling up to the to the show the it's not an open mic show but it was like a begin our beginner yeah it was like first ever bar show yeah and he you know put his card down he's like yeah y'all get whatever you're proud of me yes everything that we're talking about i'm like was i there yes you were marie he loved us yeah yeah claire's dad i'm surprised your dad's not where it happened to those two i think girls i think he listened to the i think he listened to the unexpected to those two articulate girls yes they come from good homes right what's the language um two two defined well-defined well-defined girls well-defined

okay so how do we get there i think it's about billionaires you guys were like your dad once spent 50 bucks right what do you think a couple drinks cost i mean more than 50 dollars anyway so basically ever since he started dating nicola peltz which they like met at a halloween party leo dicaprio's halloween party actually i didn't even know leo was having halloween well i guess you weren't invited me either we're too old i know heidi klum yeah we're literally too old welcome there you go you know me like i'm young yes i will say at least these people were like 1923 yeah i know right they met there they like got engaged the next summer two years later they get married and there was right out the gate there was all this like gossip that there was beef

because victoria beckham was supposed to make the wedding dress she ended up wearing valentino people kind of asked her about it later and she goes oh you know it didn't end up working out but don't worry like I had a year to work with Valentino so it was all good and people were kind of like okay who pulled the plug like why so Victoria was supposed to make the dress she probably made something real ugly well that's the question like who pulled that on me something like a turtleneck billowy sleeve and she was like I want to show my side boob exactly so she was like the atelier couldn't make it and we're like why wouldn't an atelier be able to make a dress they had an extra year anyway so that happened then there was all this like gossip came out that

Mark Anthony gifted the couple a song at the wedding, but before he sang it... Wait, out of all the people to gift a song, Mark Anthony? Because he's friends with the Beckhams. Mark Anthony goes, Brooklyn Beckham, come up. I want to sing a song and I want to invite up the most beautiful woman in the whole room,

Victoria Beckham. So the rumor was that this was so upsetting to Nicola that she ran out of the room. And nobody comforted her except for her stylist and her makeup artist. Well, the makeup artist had to be there. She's crazy. The makeup artist had to be there to be like also it's like it's victoria beckham like she is she is beautiful do we want

to lie on a wedding no but now so so he sang the mother sun dance so okay so that was this is the gossip that's coming out they were all on damage control like no we love each other it was such a great wedding they're saying good things they keep showing up at each other's events nicola peltz is wearing victoria beckham to her like premiere like it seems like it's going okay but people can tell that there's weird things simmering sure it all comes down so last may was um david beckham's 50th birthday party he had just 50 do you see why i have to go do you see why i have to get fraxel and do what i can just $500 you think he looks way older or you feel like he should be i'm just i feel like he's older than 50 but to be fair he's in the sun a lot of a lot of professional

athletes pop at like 17, 18. So he had, we would have known him for a long time. They got married at like 22. So like they have been in the public eye for 30 years now. And no offense, the British, y'all know how y'all age, you know. And again, he's playing soccer.

Brown paper bag. A beige paper bag. He's playing soccer in the sun. Yeah, and that's middle of the day, 90 minutes. But there's no sun in London. Yeah, but that's what actually it goes through the clouds and it that's when you get the most burnt on a cloudy day

and this is before people were in sunblock every day he worked in LA he was in LA for a bit and he was probably like don't want to get like tan

you know they're vacationing yeah anyway so he turned 50 he had a week of celebrations in LA in London

in Miami Brooklyn and Nicola were at none of them they did not do any Instagram posts apparently he did like he did this boys trip for his 50th

with his other two kids Brooklyn wasn't there people are like noticing that Brooklyn's absence one week later on Instagram Brooklyn posts a one year anniversary for

Nicola's Nona he's like I missed you she's been dead for a year oh I just feel like a one year anniversary post for somebody else's

dead grandma when you didn't even acknowledge your own dad you're like okay so clearly there's beef well I mean the dad is alive it's like you've been alive for 50 years

Nona died yeah but you don't really know somebody else Nona died at 98 yo but some people's Nona's some people's grandma's yo you have that connection

you just know like either it's the cooking or it's the whispering or it's the I hear you, but he has a stronger connection with his dad. Maybe not. You don't know that lady? I'm sure he

spent many times with Nona. At least a dozen. They got married what year? This was like the year before. Right. And they had been engaged for like two years before that. He knew that lady for like four minutes. And it was COVID. So if you're hanging out with a Nona, it was kind of irresponsible. Exactly. And they are irresponsible. So I believe that. This is true.

No mask at all. Taking shots. This is true. Going back. So then in August of 2025, they renew their vows after three years at her parents house and say this was like the wedding of our dreams

her family's there his family's not who sings the songs we don't even find out we don't even find out I don't know they had music they were so traumatized

Ice Spice is doing the Spongebob song I don't even know how it goes the six spice girl Ice Spice oh yeah Gary Spice

you know soft in the wound yeah so then in like November actually David Beckham became a knight he was knighted

by the queen or by the king or whoever. Sir David Beckham. He doesn't show up to that either. The very next day, they fly to London to do a Montclair ad. Oh, that's money.

Oh, I know Montclair hit him off with Maynard Bray. But if you're in town anyway, if you're in town anyway, you go say hi to your dad. He might have been prepping. Montclair,

they probably had a lot of, you know, words on the paper. Girl, there's no words. It's an ad. It's a print ad. It's a print ad.

He doesn't even need hair and makeup. Girl, and he's a man. He had his hood up For a photo? Yeah, he's like... Yeah, they're in a coat.

He doesn't even have to work out. Listen, we need to make sure we put the Montclair ad in the dump. Okay. Hopefully it comes out in time. Okay. Oh, this is already out. It's wintertime.

I'm sure it's out. They've had to sell coats by now. Okay. anyway so things like really come to a heat in december people notice that posh and david beckham have unfollowed brooklyn oh on instagram people make a big stir about it one of the other sons posts his instagram he goes my parents would never unfollow their own son we've all been blocked we've all been blocked all the kids are blocked yeah brooklyn had blocked everyone in his family oh which made it look like they had unfollowed him that does happen when you block

somebody you guys are unfollowed so then it comes out he obviously told the press it comes out that in august he had sent his parents to cease and desist and said you may only contact me via our lawyers and you may not contact me in public and his mom apparently in december had liked one of his instagram reels where he was cooking a turkey only had 17 000 views i said you needed the help so because she liked his posts he blocked them yeah he said you won't listen to me i've insisted that you guys only talking bratty rich boy so he's giving that yeah so then he came out and he did six posts about how his parents are horrible narcissists all they care about is money like before the wedding they made him like right away the his rights to his own last name which was

going to affect him and his family and like their income which is like of course not true right away his rights yeah i don't even know what that means but then he's saying that it's true that the mom pulled the plug on the dress he called it like with like days to go they have said themselves they spent a year working with valentino on the new dress so it couldn't have been days he also then says that it's true that mark anthony humiliated his wife and ruined their wedding because his mom stole their first dance and danced on him inappropriately at their wedding and it made him really uncomfortable was she wearing one of them short like spice girl like it was a slip dress but people are like what do you mean she danced on you inappropriately also

people are pointing out that in their Vogue article they did have a first dance to an Elvis song. And what Elvis song was that? So the mom got two songs? Well, they're saying, no, no, no. They're saying they had a first dance. Oh, okay. So they're suggesting that he's kind of exaggerating by fibbing.

Well, in most weddings, there's a there's the first dance for the bride and groom. There's a mother-son dance and there's a father-daughter dance. So and I don't see Victoria Beckham twerking at a wedding. Yeah, she I see her.

She dances a lot online so you can see it. And it's definitely not. It's like, you know, skinny old woman. Right. White woman shimmy. Exactly.

But like, you know, when they're so skinny and they're all bones and the bones are rattling and they're holding a glass of wine and you just see the wine shaking. It's very clicky. Like you can see the elbows clicking.

Yeah. So anyway, but so that's what's come out. And now everybody was like, oh my God, they're so awful. It's true. They've been like terrorizing this poor couple.

A lot of people are saying this is just like a bratty entitled boy. I feel like there has to be a middle ground where everybody in this is like a fucking psycho narcissist my theory has always been

he is like considered the loser he tried to be a photographer everyone laughed at him oh yeah I saw the photography book that his parents paid for he's trying to be a chef

it sucks he's trying to be a hot sauce entrepreneur hot sauce entrepreneur it's giving Rob Kardashian selling socks for sure and the thing is

it's like now it's like what are you doing it sounds like y'all got a lot of free time it seems like everybody needs to get in the field and get a job

it sounds like he changed his name a lot of times it sounds like he changed his last name to his wife So they each took each other's last name. Their names are Peltz Beckham. So here's my theory.

My theory is that in that family, he's really embarrassed because his parents are obviously super successful. And he like obviously has a lot of money because of them. And he wants to do his own thing and it keeps failing. And they keep trying to be like, well, just do our things. Our thing works.

And he's like really resentful of that. My theory is in her family because she has this old ass billionaire dad. He's kind of like, well, why would you have a job? We're billionaires already. And I think he has that old man perspective. He's like 86 or something.

and so every time when Brooklyn goes I'm a hot sauce entrepreneur he's like wow good job son like you know what I mean I wonder if he like doesn't even care

it's just like I just every time I hear stories like this I'm like what was my mother doing it's like girl get out there

and meet these men or make it so that when I come out the womb I'm set up properly you know like Padma Lakshmi's daughter yeah yeah

we know she's beautiful she's such a good girl she didn't know who the baby daddy was and it was between two billionaires and I love that

and she did it so that one of the billionaires ended up being the dad but the other billionaire was like you know I like you both so much that I'm going to give her a trust too

and then died and left her money and then he died yeah to be that hot where did you get this information in my memoir I read her book

oh you read the book that's right Padma Padma Padma come on down and do Padma we need you on mass mama

I'm going to shoot you a text yes we need Padma on here tell her to bring Ms. Lakshmi bring us some what's those potato things that she makes

oh you know what I'm talking about forgot. Yes. Samosas. Yes. They're so good. That or one of the pasta dishes that she has made. Have her come over. You guys eating dinner with Pamela? Yes, we are. Yeah, we are. And when you go to her house for the after

party, she's doing a white sauce and a red sauce. She's giving options. What is she after partying? Her comedy show? At home. Well, she'll do like a fundraiser comedy show. And it's been like me, Marie, Larry, Owens, Jaboukie. I'm noticing a pattern. Maybe I'm not invited.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, maybe you should think your palate can't handle spice. Yeah. I've been working up to it. Yeah, we'll go to her house and then she's like pulling everything out of the refrigerator,

out of the cabinet. She's a great host. Great host. Honestly, phenomenal. Some people tell you to come over and then some people are like, no, you're over. You're here.

Yeah. When you're here, you're family. You're family, yeah. Try to get into that family, though, because there's like multiple streams of billions. Yeah. I don't think it's going to work.

I feel like if I'm going to be with a billionaire he gonna be old as hell it's her too right okay you know what I'll put a pin in it I just don't understand Brooklyn I don't I don't get him you know and I've obviously a lot of people don't get him and they don't have to get him in it that's the thing it's like hey sir you want to make a thing for yourself that's ego you're that's like what is the actual need like is it financial do you have shelter do you have food you you obviously have somebody who loves you what is this extracurriculum shit

that you're talking about like you don't need to be a photographer no you don't need to be a chef no what is your passion

he's just trying I guess that's the joke these aren't his passions though right he's not good at any of them yeah but you don't have to be good for it to be a passion look at men in sports

Claire you tearing them up on this episode it's crazy yeah you saying men is like professional athletes no they gotta be good enough

if you ask men like what's your hobby they'll be like I love sports oh right I hear what you're saying you're talking about fans yeah spectators oh yeah because they have a like fantasy football which is or even they play pickup you know what i mean what's that pickup basketball maybe you like pick up a ball and you like

what kind of lesbian jacks they bouncing a ball and scooping up jacks lol we're gonna put a pin in that we're gonna put a pin in that I don't know it just sounds like rich bored spoiled kid whose parents gave him everything and now he's with somebody richer than his parents and she's in his ear like

your mom's really mean to me and he's like she is kind of a bitch he always does it with an accent a Brooklyn accent she's quite cunty she's a bit of a cunt but the thing is if you have a famous mom

famous mom who's been famous for a long time it's like hey babe you're not gonna slide in here and be her best friend that's just what it is it's like um if if my mother was diana ross and then my girlfriend was like i'm trying to be cool it's are you talking about ashley simpson ashley simpson pieces pieces of me and that you you know they go to her she's in vegas they were You know, Tracy was there. The family's there supporting her. But Diana was not there. Good for her.

I can't believe Ashley Simpson really infiltrated that family for real. Yeah. They're still going strong. They have a beautiful daughter. It's love. I believe it. But that's the thing when you're with famous people or people with privilege. It's just like it's a different world.

People are finding love in all situations. And their head is sometimes pure and then sometimes it's clouded. I blame boy moms. Boy mothers are the reason why boys are the way they are. You know, he's the first. He's her first son. They were probably spoiling the hell out of that. Oh, Precious, he's perfect.

He's good at everything. That's why he sucks at photography. That's why he can't cook. That's why he can't do anything well. But they probably, they gassed him up. They told him he was good at everything. They pour into him. Now he's with somebody new.

The mom is probably like, this is my baby boy. i'm sure victoria beckham has not been very nice to the to the wife i can i tell you my real belief is that it is coming from him i believe that he feels very resentful of his family he has like no sense because i think it sucks to feel like a loser but what you think it sucks to like do you think he feels like a lot of people start you're a loser they work themselves up but exactly but he doesn't have to work he don't have no up and that's what i'm saying is exactly he has like no nothing to fight like there is no reason

for him to be such a fucking failure except for that he's so devoid of talent that he's like is he not is he not the cute one let me see

not really I mean I guess it doesn't matter because he found it but like do you know what I mean I have a feeling that he like his parents exactly like you said

his parents gassed him up his own life then he went out and tried something and all the whole world made fun of him over and over and over again

and now he's like doesn't know where to direct his anger so he's like mad at them and then I think he's he has this double thing of being like

on the one hand obviously he's not gonna not fly private but also he's like mad that his parents like never kept it real and like are so cuddly real exactly but i think he sir you don't want this life brooklyn you don't brooklyn he went and found a billionaire you don't want brooklyn but my question he couldn't have been mad at that he wasn't really mad at them because he stayed under their roof but that's what i'm saying he got married jayden smith was like i'm out he got his own house he was like 14 he took that karate Kid Coyne and moved out of

Will and Jada's house. That's why I don't think it's about Nicola. I don't think he's really mad at them. I think he's mad at himself and he's blaming them. Baby, you gotta talk to that lady. You gotta go do whatever couch. It's a real I'm sure it's a real nice couch. It's not like some Joybird or whatever. That's pretty nice.

You guys don't have any sponsors? That's a sponsor. Be careful. I got a Joybird at the crib. That's crazy. You spent many a nap. You spent many a nap. Learn from my mistakes. Don't talk shit. I love Joybird. You know that Joybird like it's West Elm.

You got a lot of nerve, bitch. Me and my Ikea couch. I'm like, yeah, bitch. You don't want no Joybird. That's crazy. Okay, this will relate it back to you. I mean, how are you with your mother-in-law?

Did y'all hit it off good? Are you close? Yeah, I really like her, actually. They're very supportive of the comedy and stuff. They're great. Like, they actually are really great. So I'm like, cool with them.

They also live in Canada, so I feel like I see it. Oh, that's cool. Canadians are chill. They're just like, okay, all right. yeah sorry sorry

I feel like that because like my husband Poutine yeah exactly Poutine Brooklyn Beckham is 26 years old he's gonna be

he's gonna be an idiot he's he truly doesn't know you know who she dated before him Anwar Hadid so she's got like a type oh I do know

who that is oh the Hadid the Hadid brother she loves like the loser brother of a famous family for me these people

were eating it up on TikTok they're like oh my god in first of all when anybody's putting words on uh the text on a black screen i'm i'm like i'm not reading i'm not reading this i gotta hold my finger down to read i'm not that interested yeah like sir if you don't prop your phone up and do a front-facing video like everyone oh you want to be amongst the people get your ass online and do the work i think i can read faster than they can deliver because you start letting these people talk and they really start like you know giving

themselves like side parts and they're explaining I feel like get to the point and I'll say it on my own time I don't want to these words on it because it's always bullshit and it's like who helped you with this you got like a team of like seven other people telling you we'll move that word

around no no no I don't want to say it I think that like what makes me annoyed is the people who are so wrapped up in this not you because you're coming here with the mask this is your job obviously boots on the ground journalism but i just think that the people who care it's like how could you care about no offense

i don't know if he listens to mess brooklyn beckham if if he is the loser that y'all claim he is y'all are so pressed panini about everything that he wrote and dissecting it and doing the videos and tiktok it's like if there's so many other people who've had situations happen that people are not even paying them no can i can i get can i defend that for a minute i will say because it's been going on for three years and clearly like stories have been leaked to the press and then every time they do like a full-on interview they deny it they deny it then they show up and have their photo and they're they're so denying it the families like the beckhams and like both couples have been like no no we love each other we're good but then like they're not

showing up at birthdays and because it's been three years of the public being like is something going on there the fact that he just came out and said this is exactly why i'm mad actually i'm like thank you because people have been speculating for years so i think there's like something kind of legit about coming out and be like here's exactly what's going on here's why i'm mad at my mom rich people are bored wouldn't you exactly but would you rather them tell you than just like tell me what your problem is tell me your mess that's the premise of your podcast tell me your mess yes yes yes but we we haven't had people if victoria becky want to come on the pod let's go but hey victoria tell us what you want what you really really want but the the good thing about

here for it like mess is like this is of the people this is like small mess but some big mess but like mess you don't you don't know sometimes people are talking about me we don't know them So there's that illusion of like, how messy is this? But these people who have money and publicist and stuff, y'all ain't got nothing better to do with your time? I don't know. It's just like, well, he doesn't. He don't have a job.

That's what I'm saying. He is a hot sauce entrepreneur. What does that mean? Should we try his hot sauce on mess? I don't think I've ever seen it on hot ones. No, I don't think it's out in stores maybe, but it's definitely like if you Google him, that's how he calls himself.

girl all i know is i saw um some uh like previews from his photography book and the captions are bad the photos are bad it's all bad his parents invited top vogue people and like people from all these top magazines to like support his book release and it's just like you get this is why i don't have kids you giving you give to these children and they can still grow up and be assholes but i feel like it's inappropriate to give that much you know what i mean i am like Is it? If you got it, do it. I think if your son sucks at photography,

don't invite the top photography judges in the world to come like tell him he's ass to his face. Like let him do a little party with his, like, you know what? Let him post on Facebook. Not Facebook. No, I think I- Let him do a carousel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 20 slides. I disagree. And that's why we're different than the people who have, you know, access and wealth and all this other stuff. We're too busy. Like this gotta be good.

I have to work hard. I have to follow these fucking rules. These people are not following any rules. Yeah. they they're doing whatever the hell they want and they're like yeah i want i want everybody in amama to come see my my boy and that's and that's how they push themselves up to the top and these people are not really um what do you call what's the word um talented not talented they're qualified huh qualified qualified they're not qualified there's so many people who have jobs you're like

how did you get here because people have been uh sifling them through and pushing them up and be But they are the best. They're amazing. Their work is great. Okay, I got a new theory. I got a new theory about what's happening. Maybe the problem is not with the mom. It's with the dad.

His dad is a world famous soccer player. Son can't play soccer. See, that's my theory. That's what the problem is. But like he clearly earned it. You know what I mean? I think he's like embarrassed now that he can't earn anything. The son.

Yeah, and I think he's blaming his parents for being like, I can't earn anything because you gave it to me. When really the problem is he can't earn anything because he hasn't. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. He don't want it bad. He ain't got that dog in him. But he doesn't even know.

He ain't got that dog in him. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Yeah, but look at... If you're giving me everything, why would I want to work for something? Hold on. Now, I could be speaking out of term, but wasn't LeBron James,

his son, people... They drag his son all the time. But he's still doing the work. He's still in there. Because his dad got him on the basketball team that he's on. But isn't he doing better? Man in the room.

He said no. You don't want to say? Sydney, five minutes ago, didn't know about pick-ups. Now you know about LeBron James. Now you know about LeBron James. You go, but his rebounds this year,

he's rebounding really well. Rebounding. What do you mean? I'm talking about Bronny. Is he good? Is he better? He got better. It takes time.

He's on a professional basketball team. He should have been great. No, but there's some people on the team. We don't even know their names. Because their dads are not famous. Yeah. That's the only reason you know Seth Curry. His name is LeBron James, and then he named his son Bronny James?

I would do some shit like that. I'm like, come on, City, City, Washington, City, Washington, come on. Sydney and City? City. Come here, City. I love you, girl. I spell City, sis, with a D or a T. Is it City like titties?

I don't know. The way people spell my name wrong still to this day, it doesn't even matter. You should change it. You're going to get it wrong. You should change it. What should I change it to? A different spelling. I'm not doing that.

IE. Sydney IE. do you want to leave are you ready to go are you ready to wrap up time to wrap it up actually we do gotta go yeah damn claire yo honestly i'm so glad that you came here because i was like how could you do a like a long-form podcast about these you know celebrity memoirs but it's it's you're you find a way to make everything interesting oh my god thank you because i did not give a damn about this brooklyn beckham scenario whatever a fiasco sure you really you provided. I appreciate you. Thank you so much.

I don't even do the memoirs anymore. We actually changed podcasts. I know. It's not memoirs anymore? No, no, no, no. We rebranded. What's the rebrand? It's called Good Noticings. It's more like a, almost like a magazine. We do like six or seven topics and it'll be everything from like the Beckhams to like Iran to like this week we interviewed someone from the ACLU

about. Oh, I saw the, um, didn't y'all have a premiere for that? Yeah. We didn't get invited. This is crazy. Would you guys have come? We love an event. We love an event. We love a gala. Yeah. You know, I'm coming out with my special you got if if i got like a premiere party you guys want to come absolutely it's gonna be your dad gonna be there no if he's not gonna be there i don't think i would i don't know

jerry jerry jerry okay jerry was bad cool at the bar i'm telling you he was like and that's why his hand over that's why he's not gonna be at the premiere because you put your titties on his back i did not city with the titties now what's the best celebrity memoir you've ever read um for the viewers before we go okay i'll give like five okay great okay sorry i just saw my face i'm like since you came with a huge face yeah well okay i'm gonna go crying in h mart is really good by michelle zahner she's kind of like a musician like an indie musician but because of that she's actually a really good writer it's really interesting she's like talks about her like mom dying of cancer even though they like fought a lot oh through food so that's good

viola davis is really good viola davis yeah i say elvira is really good uh she became a lesbian at 78 yeah there's always time ladies she became a lesbian at 78 she was like hanging out with gay people her whole life she was fully married she tried to do a comeback in her like late 50s or something the movie flopped and they went bankrupt her husband left her over it she was like what am i gonna do she goes to the gym day one she's at the gym a lesbian is like can i listen to this she goes yeah we can hang out but i'm not gay she keeps going i'm not gay she goes within six months my trainer was living with me but in a not gay way then she finally goes you know what we had sex and turned out I was gay.

Within six months, my trainer was living with me. I think it might have been sooner. She showed up to fix something and never moved out. Is this how the lesbian is moving in on people? You haven't had a U-Haul? Well, sure, but I'm saying like a light bulb is loose and now you live here? Marie, you

don't remember how I was with Adrienne? I had a little accident and then she came to the hospital, took care of me, and then I stayed at her house and then I never went home. I do remember that. Yeah. It just happens. But the trainer Why is the trainer

Fixing stuff at the house You don't have a person That's going to pay you to do that Because you know People subconsciously Are doing things You know what I mean Okay so Elvira

Elvira's like I'm not gay But this really jacked woman At the gym I bet she could fix my light bulb And that man left her And she said I guess that's it

Hey sis Sis come fix this Loose table leg She said She said You know I'm rock bottom I think I can get some coochie now Yeah

And then you know Who else will say Jeanette McCurdy's I'm glad my mom died Oh yeah I heard of that It's really good And it's like a quick

easy read yeah but it's fucked up quick and easy read yeah i don't even know what that means quick and easy in 20 20 26 we're gonna do quick and easy read reading is hard i'll listen to the audiobook and then who what was the number one you said that was four i think i think i did uh crying in h mart viola davis molly shannon elvira and molly shannon yeah molly shannon's is crazy is that yes superstar yeah but you know what's good about hers comedians always try to be funny they always just like make their memoir like basically their stand-up set but right now and it kind of ages poorly but hers is just like

a dead ass memoir because she had crazy shit happen to her like when she was a baby her dad drunk-drived and killed her mom and her two siblings and so like obviously

he was kind of fucked up about that was she in the car? yeah so she's got a survivor's remorse? yeah kind of

and then there's like this whole like crazy thing and she didn't even get on TV until she was like 30, 35 and then she got married

like in her 40s to a guy 10 years younger oh we might have to read this book you know we have a little book club we're starting me, Marie

and Amina and we started with the self-help book because of me but I think we're going to move on to something else this could be in the

yeah we're doing a black book for February Sydney you're not allowed to be in the black book this is really good I saw the doc she had like a Netflix doc about her life

and it was pretty crazy Gabrielle Union's was really good oh come on she has two she's like funny and cute two memoirs who?

Gabrielle Union oh yeah she does she's got essays yeah they're good they're actually really good wow Claire you are reading

ass bitch huh I read 250 celebrity memoirs you deserve every dime any cent whatever you got you did it now I see why y'all switched to a magazine

I'm not for the reading we doing horoscopes tonight girl alright well thank you for being here is there anything that you feel like you need to leave

to people yeah I mean from somebody who's you been caught out there saying too much do you have any I just want to say I don't mean any ill will

and a lot of the times I'm talking shit I don't even mean it it just came up and like I think I'm worse I think I'm worse and then plug your... My special comes out

February 13th for Galentine's Day. It's called Claire Parker's 32. It's about thinking about having a baby. It's about literally like not getting Botox

and being the oldest person on the internet and having Gen Z call you ugly all the time. Oldest person on the internet? You about to turn 32? No, now I'm 33. Oh, yeah.

It's about... I filmed it when I was 32 and it was about the year I was 32. Okay. So it's my experience being 32. Literally the oldest person

on the internet. Listen, they're mean to me but I'm the oldest person they have access and are mean to. Yeah, guys, y'all get ready to watch that special. We can't wait. OK, if you're watching this, hopefully you're having an orgy tonight.

And I'm not invited. And that's what I deserve. Yeah, I'm not inviting you to the orgy. Yeah. Thanks, Claire. Bye. Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. created and hosted by sydney washington and marie faustin executive produced by olivia

aguilar and han sani super produced by becca ramos edited and mixed by brian jeffries if you would like your messages read on air please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588