MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Boutique STDs

Episode Date: October 18, 2019

We're back for another solo episode this week to discuss some high-profile drama! Plus, Marie talks moving into a new apartment while Sydnee addresses some negative comments.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, guys. Hey, what's going on? Okay, so we've been talking for like half an hour already, and y'all don't get to hear that. But, Sydney, can you just repeat what you just said? I love the listeners. I love y'all. Y'all are great.

It's awesome. I love feedback. I love all of it. But some of the feedback is not your place. um just like sometimes I get messages it's like oh thank you for telling me about like your alcoholism and your depression and your relationship and all that stuff and that's that's great but I just feel like sometimes people overstep their boundaries and they'll tell me like oh I you know I feel like it's it's always something going wrong and you should be more positive about yourself

And like that that episode where I was saying, oh, you know, I'm worried about not being funny and like how I'm supposed to be on stage or me not doing my job. And they're just like, I think you need to be more positive about things because because things are going well in your life. And it just seems like nothing is right. And and it's which is like a bold thing to text somebody, like to send a message to somebody that they need to be more positive. Like, let me be sad for a day. Let me be in a funky mood for a few days. you know what i mean like that's i think part of being a human being is like i'm allowed to be sad and i'm not i'm gonna and i'm allowed to sit in that sometimes yeah and i'm not saying that you're a sad person obviously you're you know a ray of sunshine regularly but uh you know i think maybe

that person just wants you to not talk bad about yourself you specifically right like don't don't self-deprecate maybe is that maybe that was the i don't know i don't know but like sometimes when you message or whatever i just i don't know the context i don't or i don't know you so to me it it's just like okay i'm getting these random messages some of them are good and then some of them stick out and they're like oh wait who are you like what are you saying and isn't it crazy how we only like we can have a million positive comments or a million and i repost them i just want you to know every time you guys write something or i'm like actively trying to put them in the stories and let people know like oh we appreciate all these nice comments i mean you

repost the mean ones too sometimes yes i do i do yesterday yeah yeah i do oh you guys we're people When you cut us, do we not bleed? I mean, we are known for our shade, and we can be very mean, and we get it. I mean, we read some of your comments out loud, and then we have notes, so I know. But I think on a real note, like, it's just social media. You say something, and you don't know, oh, this person is actually reading this, and you don't know what they're going through or how their day was

and they might take it like this is like bigger than what it is. So send me a voice memo because I can't read these messages. Just tell me how you feel and just so I can hear the tone. Are you laughing? You're like, hey girl,

you know you gotta be more positive. I'm just reading. I just look at your picture and I'm like, oh this bitch, this is how her voice sounds and this is how she talking to me. Yeah, she yelling at me right now. Yeah.

I don't know, Sydney. I want you to be happy. I want Andrew to be happy. i want everybody i want to be happy i want everybody to thrive but like the thing about this podcast is that the the the more listeners we get and the bigger the podcast gets the more annoying some of y'all become so it's like you know the cool core people that started with us sometimes they feel like entitled like people will comment on posts that i put now on instagram and be like i've been with you since youtube i'm one of the original people and it's like well

those youtube videos were like five six years old yeah and people are like yes but i've been here from the beginning and it's like that doesn't i mean it's great but like that doesn't i don't owe you something because of that right like i'm a grown-ass person that you still don't know you watch a couple videos and you listen to a couple episodes and people are like uh classic marie or sydney didn't ramona set and it's like some of y'all's doing too much yeah And it's fine, but I just feel like it's hard. I mean, right now, I got too much going on to get a comment that feels negative and read it on any given day at this moment and be like,

oh, yeah, I needed to hear that, you know? Like, I don't. If you're not saying anything positive, just please don't even. I have a positive comment. I saw you perform on Sunday, and I feel like I haven't seen your set in a minute, But I saw you perform on Sunday and it was the most, the most beautiful, I think it was the most Sydney, it was just, it was so real and it was so you and it was so freaking funny and I hope that you still, you're still carrying that with you because it was so good.

Ah, trying. Trying? It's a lot. It was, ugh. No, no, no, no. It's good. But the thing is about, we do the knit every Sunday and every Sunday, if like Marie is opening the show, I was like, oh, it's going to be a great show.

because you like literally all of the energy that we need, you fucking carry that shit. If you're not, not last Sunday, but thank you. No, every Sunday, every Sunday. And I was just, who was I talking to? I was talking to, I won't say who, but they were like, the way Marie thinks off the top of her head is just brilliant.

It's just like, they're like, she's literally in the moment and will think of a reference and just like tag, tag, tag. and it's so good and it's like yeah that's why I'm like can Marie open yeah we need her to open because we don't

I don't know this energy in this room right now yeah but I was high last Sunday and I couldn't I couldn't do it like I couldn't think of any references

I couldn't connect stuff and I was like I can't be high to start the show anymore I don't remember that well remember I got off stage and you were like you did eight minutes

because I was like I have nothing to say but you know what that was the smoothest eight minutes and we got to it Sometimes we drag shit on It's like

We did not need to do 13 minutes But it was like 8 minutes it was perfect They were ready for the show In 8 minutes And I was like Yeah Marie She got hosts

Yeah but you see how Perspectives can be so different Cause you thought it was great And I got off Remember when Amina Did the Sunday before And I was like Oh she not gonna warm up

The crowd at all She gonna write to her set Huh Well okay So for people who are listening Who maybe have never been To a comedy show The job of the host

Is not to do their jokes At the top of the show It's to open up the room, get the room ready for comedy. You talk to the crowd. You see who's celebrating birthdays. You like, if you have a joke that works, you like throw it in there. But your job is to make the room hot. Yeah.

Hot. So the next comic coming up is just like the crowd is like moist for comedy. Damn. But Amina was like, I'm gonna just do all these new jokes that I haven't tested anywhere. And she was just literally like going through a list of like new unworked things. And it was like, sis, this the crowd was like, no, but I love it because I mean, when you guys went to D.C., I was like so sad I wasn't there because I was like, oh, hey, on fire. I could tell. Girl, D.C. was wild. And a bunch of people from the podcast came. We did. I did four shows with Molly and Amina.

But like when I got there and that's the thing about me is because I'm so good off the top of my head and I don't like preparing for stuff. I'd just be showing up like a couple minutes before the show and I'm like well I guess I'll talk about this this and this and then I have to

fill in the blanks and it doesn't feel smooth to me girl if I'm in the zone and the crowd is hot and I'm not high

then like things will start I see it it's like a beautiful mind like everything's connected and I see like the lady with the fractions on her face I'm that

but that first show in DC I was like making fun of the audience I mainly did crowd work and then the last show the last I was like

well I need to be prepared so the next Aminah was like you came with a set today like I was doing material because I was I don't feel good

no but sometimes I watch you and like I feel like you almost plant people in the audience because the way that you respond to them I'm like

how the hell did you find that that's crazy yeah but when like and I'm gonna tell y'all a little secret when I talk to the audience it's because I can't remember

what joke comes next in my set I mean mainly mainly that's I'm not most comedians when they're doing crowd work they like trying to sift through their set list and be like

ah let me maneuver some shit while I'm talking to these people. No but I'm not trying to maneuver I can't remember my jokes. I legit be like no but it doesn't appear like that like a professional. It's my gift and my curse because I feel very unprofessional

and not prepared on stage and everyone's like Marie is just up there and I'm like but my head is like what's next and Sydney knows my material more than I do like Sydney be like you got this this this this this you got the joke about this and I'm like oh I forgot all about that tell me text me this morning yo can you tell me that joke that I said off stage and I remembered it I was like fuck I wish I could remember my own shit like this

oh my girl isn't it crazy ah I got the text early like yeah I remember it and I was so annoyed that I remembered the joke and I can't remember my own material ever okay wait so you have a solo show coming up let's talk about that because we can definitely get people to show up to that listening right now uh the show is called my beautiful no my favorite open book of beautiful i was about to say my beautiful dark twisted fantasy wow wow that's a good title who's that title oh that's kanye west yes i was like oh can i use that yeah scratch out your title and put that in there my beautiful dark twisted fantasy open book um okay so it's you talking it's an hour long yeah it's gonna be an hour we work it's gonna be an hour since it's gonna be an hour 48 i have uh yodora

peterson she's gonna be opening because you know i just in case it's not an hour yodora peterson what is she's doing she's doing stand-up oh sydney has that cutest little yeah uh she's doing she does characters she does she does everything she's fantastic i love her so much um so she's gonna do you know her little work work and then i'm gonna just be doing all the material the material that i've been working on about my childhood is there a set design is there gonna be some lighting cues like what because you gave you gave us outfits

and characters last time what's going to be I know I know this time I was like I'm literally for this first show

literally working through all of the material and then go to the next level because I feel like if you try to put everything for the first show that's too much stress yeah

it's all if your if your stories and jokes work then you can incorporate everything else but if you're trying to incorporate

you know wigs and your jokes down all the way there a professional you see this well I learned that from doing the other solo show three times

I was like you know gotta be prepared we talk about being prepared yeah be prepared yeah that's what Scar said

so there's that and I hope after the podcast we can go to your house cause you got a fucking apartment

I walked here from my house oh you bitch and I was like I'm gonna leave my house at 1130 I'm gonna be on time cause they said

it was gonna take like 15 18 minutes or something like that to walk to walk so i so it's probably a three minute cab ride sis i was like i'm a i was like i'm just gonna i'm gonna leave at 11 30 i left my house at 11 55 so i know i if you live closer somewhere you're not gonna be early you're still gonna be late i'm actually later yeah harder for me to be

on time yep anyway so yeah the apartment is uh is is cute uh it's in a good little neighborhood perfect which is what was most important to me i was like i don't need a lot of space i just want to be able to be like that's where i get my coffee that's where i get my rosé that's where i clean my panties like i want to be able to walk to stuff and this week like the day after i moved i had a show and they were like the show starts at 9 30 and i was like don't nobody want to do comedy at no 9 30 and i was like i'm not gonna go and i checked the address and it was two blocks away from my house so i was like so i showed up looking like a raggedy bum just the show was fine again fully unprepared i got on stage i was like mad because i had i got okay so uh quick tip if

you're moving and you don't want to pay for boxes just go on craigslist and people give free moving boxes away i got 20 boxes on craigslist for free and after i was unpacking them i was like i'm just gonna put them on craigslist for somebody else you know yeah i'm gonna pay forward so i put them online and this woman said she was gonna come and then I forgot to respond to her she didn't come and so I put the boxes outside and then it rained no 20 boxes in the rain like 20 boxes in the rain everybody hate you because recycling no hold on so I run downstairs the way the boxes were you trying to save them no they were under the fire escape they were all dry I was like look at god it was wet everywhere except where these boxes that's god okay what a mighty god we serve

jesus box are you all god so somebody came to pick him up but when i was trying to maneuver them outside the night before this woman walked by and she was on the sidewalk and she was like do you have permission to put your boxes there your trash there and i was like what she was like do you have permission to put your trash here and I was like this is in front of my building

and she was like no this is my building it was like the one next door and she was like you can't put just and I was like it's trash

like you about to fight me over some trash and it was a black lady and I was like sis really this what we doing in gentrified Brooklyn is arguing about

where I'm gonna put these boxes she said this my space but if I had put the boxes there cause I moved them I was like well I'm just moving

and she was like no it's fine and I was like If it had been fine, you wouldn't have said anything to me. So I moved them. But if I had left them where they were, they would have been wet. So truly, Jesus is real. Jesus is real.

Anyway, somebody came to pick them up. Were they nice? I left the boxes outside. I was like, I'm not letting a stranger danger into my place. So I left the boxes outside. Anyway, I like it. You were showing us pictures when I was at Carolina's. carolina's and i was like oh this is perfect carolina came over she helped me unpack some

books or something stupid books are dumb if you have books in your house and you're moving throw the books away no we need the books they weigh so much but you need the book and it'll be a tiny box of books and that's heavier than the box that has all your crap sis you need the books the books are important you need to either look smart or look like you you know you're in academia books are academia books are canceled get you a little kindle you know uh get that poor eyesight but live your best blind life with that kindle you know we deserve it we deserve it um what else oh so fran came over yesterday oh because we were gonna go get a drink across the street and i'm showing her my house she comes in she's like wow that looks awesome wow this is cute she's like let me see

your bathroom i'm bragging i'm like i'm gonna put some shelves up blah blah blah i look in the sink the biggest roach i've ever seen in my life the size of my thumb i'm not kidding it was that big and that thick in front of fram in the sink and i'm like oh my gosh you don't think i have a dirty house like ah screaming i scream she screams we all scream for ice cream the road she's like do you the roach is just trying to like crawl out of the sink i think it came out of the it was so like like an amazon bug it was so big she's like do you have spray so i gotta go get my fantastic She got this like bug spray. We're spraying it.

We're screaming. We're spraying it. We're screaming. It tries to fly away. It lands on its back. And I was like, well, now she's going to think I have a dirty house. No. And I just hit it on the podcast.

So everybody's going to think I have a dirty house. No. She lives in Brooklyn. She knows the deal. And it's a water bug. That's different. It was so big. Water bug comes from the drain.

It was so big. That's the building. That's not you. You just moved in. Thank you, sis. That was the last tenant's bug. Yeah. That's residual bugs from somebody else.

it was so nasty yeah but you can come see the place today yeah I'll come I'll stop by Andrew

you can come see the place today too if you want oh my god I'm invited I would love oh amazing love it hopefully we can get

out of here early we have 19 episodes oh no yeah Larry has another episode after you guys oh so no sad yikes

I'm here until like 630 or maybe or maybe I can ooh or maybe I can come tomorrow and

And, oh, I need your, I actually need your blow dryer with a comb. Can I borrow it? Because I'm going to take my braids out tonight. Mm-hmm. Okay. Wait, you need it now? Do you still have that blow dryer? No.

Okay. Because your hair is gone. I was like, sis, who am I? And I got my hair cut yesterday. I should have messaged you to bring it to the podcast. I would totally have bought it. Yeah. Let me run home real quick, get it.

I'll be right back. Okay. Oh, we have a break. Yeah. Yeah. Buddy, oh, baby, oh, buddy. Baby. B, but I don't know if I want to walk 15 minutes, come back.

This is half an hour worth of walking. You know, but your girl, Uber, we Uber there. We Uber pooled. We Uber pooled there. Actually, we can take the bus. The bus stop's right in front of my bedroom. We're not doing that. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

The bus stop's in front of my- You have your own apartment. We would never take a bus. That's a lie. The bus is my brand. I'm about to cancel all my Metro cars. Like, I'm going to just, I'm going to take the bus exclusively, directly to my front door.

And my bedroom doesn't have any curtains, so I'd just be butt naked for the people at the bus stop. How is it? no I know your body's great but I'm saying how do you feel about that not having any curtains because the guy who lives on the street view of my building I know you told me this story

he literally I saw him just getting like pounded out oh and you were hot for it I was totally hot pounded out what floor is he on so I it's not a walk up it's a walk down so he's like he's the garden level yeah he's like below level so he's not even getting

any light that's why he ain't got no curtains so when you're walking down the steps you can see everything in his apartment including uh two naked bodies um was the sex good how long did you stand there i no i i took my time getting into my apartment okay i would have stood there i would have stood there for the like if you're gonna do it i'm gonna watch you do it did it look good it was great and i was like i was already gone and i was like he moved in that week and i was like it would be so ballsy for me to just knock on the door and just be like what's going on like what's good you can't bang the dude downstairs i know i know i know why not see sydney and i because it's gonna be weird i know i can't

i can't if that's his brand is weird this is true your brand is homeless man it might have been the same guy that i met jamie fox quote unquote okay he literally does look like jamie fox but okay receipts or it didn't happen yeah i don't have a picture because we don't believe because you lying we don't believe i hooked up with someone who looks like gabrielle union you hooked up with yourself yeah i know ah yeah i masturbated great today i masturbated while i wasn't looking in the mirror and you said you look really really great yeah i put makeup on today i was like i'm gonna go to the podcast and be better you're saying so we need to take a photo with the guest today got it no no no no i do think that sometimes i'm like ah if we had pictures with a guest

they would be more inclined to repost. I feel like people are so dumb with the pictures taken in this studio though. You know what I mean? So many different podcasts have the it's just, you just scroll past them. Yeah, that's true. That is true. And people never be prepared. But the lighting also is not that

good in here. So, you know, like Forever, dog. I'm going to put makeup on before I come here. Really, that's the real reason. I'm like, eh, sir. But your skin looks fantastic. I've been drinking a lot of water a lot more uh water um and i am i feel like i should be doing stuff with my skin because like i'm getting older but like i'm also afraid that if i start playing with like creams and treatments

and rose water that i'm gonna like mess it up somehow so i don't know this this is my dilemma i'm like should i put this night cream on is it gonna make my face like break out i think you should do um something that's uh like not vegan but something that's more natural like find some some night treatments that are like natural based or whatever you call it what do you use oh i mean we we've been getting a lot of products you know for the podcast and i've like i i use the eye masks i'm using the lotion yeah the eye masks are great wander baggage claim cute just gold eye mask I was like wow it looks like I actually sleep this is insanity I don't know if I feel like I see a difference on myself but you feel like when you use the under eye mask yeah because your

girls hagged you know I like I have insomnia so it's hard for me to sleep sometimes and then when I do go to sleep I'm still not well rested because you'll be flailing sis we talked about this just trying to cuddle with everybody next to you I I toss and turn I I'm a tall salad babe That's what I do in the bed Toss salad When was the last time you had a salad on land sis? Oh actually yesterday Sweet green

I had the harvest salad That has all these nuts And seeds in it Can we stop with the fucking Almonds in a salad Bitch eat the almonds by themselves Eat the salad by itself I don't need all that crunchiness

Get a crunchy salad Romaine can give you the same crunch I don't want any type of nuts in my salad. I hate it. No sunflower seeds. The fork is not picking up the sunflower seeds. It's not. And people who love nuts and things, chaotic.

They can't be trusted. Gross. Those are the people who cheat in relationships. Those are the people that- They got skid marks and they draw them. Yeah, those are the people that tell you you look good when you got a booger in your nose. I hate those people. Those Kashi Golene niggas.

I hate them. And it's just like, stop with the nuts. And I had to pick out all of the nuts. and then can we stop salad places that don't give me enough fucking dressing

we got this big ass bowl and then you want me to drizzle you want me to like sprinkle you gotta dip the fork tips in it and then just like are you fucking kidding me

give me a real amount of salad dressing that can cover can coat the mixed greens how much did your just salad cost cause it sound like

you had a $17 salad honey on a corporate card I don't know I did not pay love it you know did you get chicken

You got some protein on it? Yeah. I just, I want to be healthy, but I always see these people who eat healthy and it's like, ah, what's your life looking like though? You being all healthy and shit, but like, you're not getting fucked right. Your job sucks. Like, who cares? I'd rather eat shitty.

You think people who aren't getting fucked right know they're not getting fucked right? Yes. Absolutely. You know. If you've only ever been having bad sex, do you know what good sex is? Honey, if you're 34 and you haven't had not one glimpse of great sex, you need to go die. You need to go lay down. How many times have you had like actually like quality sex then?

Quality sex. I've had quality sex. I've had quality sex. It sounds like you're lying right now. I'm not lying. Your tone. Oh, I've had quality sex. You sound like Mickey Mouse.

I mean, I don't want to mention the people. I'm just saying. You don't have to mention their names. I'm an older woman. I'm not 27. You know what I mean? like i've been out there i got miles on this dang you know yes but you were happy you've had bad sex before oh and some of it was with people that were like boyfriends right like i wasn't

look at that ah we're so good we're getting better we're getting better hey guys if you think you're getting fucking gossip from us no more no more you know what to catch me slipping with libel and slander on this podcast not again not not in these united states not i said to the international uh the international waters version of the podcast this this ain't it this is not you're not gonna come here get your tea and then spill it somewhere else yeah yeah yeah then send that just the clip of the tea to somebody so they can hear us spilling it yeah then we've been saying the whole episode okay and then we caught out here and it's out of context it's like I said that I loved you but it was trash you know you wow okay well proud of

myself for stopping myself right there um but uh I don't know I I feel like I had bad sex for a while so much so that I was like I'm just gonna have I'm gonna stop having sex and I was celibate for a while right and then uh got back in the sex game some of it was still bad but like now when it's good it's just like i'm just gonna keep coming here because i keep coming here but otherwise like once i feel like i'm done with that then i'm moving on to something else hey i support it thousand percent i like but the problem is is that love sucks so you get clouded and you just you'll deal with some mediocre or regular or you know you just deal because you're Like, I have such strong feelings for this person that, you know, I will, I'll neglect my physical needs.

Wow. Yeah. I know nothing about that life. Love sounds terrible. But I'm just saying, it's out there. Yeah, love sounds dumb. And I also think that people put too big of an importance on sex. It's like, it's great when it's great, but it's not, it shouldn't be the end all be all for relationships.

Yes, but if we have a good relationship, right, you support me, I support you, it's 50-50, everybody's paying for stuff, the apartment is cute, everybody, you know what I mean? But the sex is bad. That's going to start to fracture things in that relationship. We're going to have to fix this. Yes? I agree. Yeah. I think we just have to, one, what is bad sex?

Because the sex can, physically, you could be doing everything right, but we just are not, like, meshing well. The energy is off. You could have somebody who has terrible technique. I feel like. But you feel good about them, so, like, you'll deal. No, that's where y'all are messing up. The technique is trash.

You got to tell them in the moment, technique is trash. it's not working for me whatever you're doing right now it's not working oh yeah absolutely i you you as long as you're vocal about what you like i'm telling you i mean sometimes you don't really know what you like you just know what you don't like i don't like this whatever you're doing right now please stop stop it right now i'm here for you know we just gonna yelp the sex while it's happening i mean i know people that i know this girl she's she was sleeping with this dude and And she said the sex was so bad. Like, he was a bad kisser.

Like, he was trying to, like, eat her face. Everything was just bad. It was uncomfortable. She was disappointed because their, like, connection outside of the sex was really, really good. And she said she didn't say anything while it was happening. But a few days later told him that she didn't like how the sex was. Bitch, if I'm drinking hot cocoa with you and you talking about some sex from four days ago, you are canceled. you should have told me either right after or the morning of say it in the moment

oh so you sat on this bad dick for days is that on it you said literally sat on the bad dick and then you want to mention it while we had brunch in passing and now i'm looking at my orange juice all crazy like well i should i drink this i i don't feel comfortable now it got pulp in it like i don't feel right so you're saying something in the moment while it's happening or you're saying it after it happens i'm saying it either in the moment or like the day after okay and you bad sex you're saying it in the moment or you're saying it i feel like i want to say i would say it in the moment but i would you know you're lying yeah i'll tell them after because i'm you know you're getting the orgasm out of it in the moment see but that's a dude you're getting orgasm out of

it anyway that's not the same thing for us yep if the sex is bad i'm not getting an orgasm out of it the sex would be good and i still not get an orgasm exactly so andrew's like well you know I'm still getting it. I'm still coming. Different perspectives. Such a man. Yuck. You got to wait outside.

Just bring your headphones out there, but wait outside. Communication is hard. I mean, people, feelings, tough. I mean, me getting older, I'm fucking tired of feelings. I'm legit, absolutely. If I can remove like 80% of my feelings, I feel like I would be able to function better in the world. Because I'm constantly trying to hold my feelings accountable and then think about somebody else's feelings.

It's like, what the fuck? That's too much. It's too much. And I already am that type of person that's like, I'm going through all of the emotions in 20 minutes. Happy, sad. Depressed. Annoyed.

Stressed out. Angry. Did I pee on myself? Oh, I came. Like, it's a lot. What emotion is did I pee on myself? What is that? Angst?

Stress? I don't know. You know when dogs get, like, really excited about something? That's when they pee on themselves? Yeah. Little puppies. I've never been that excited for anything. Yeah.

Wow. What would get me that excited that I would almost pee on myself? Andrew? Are you saying that I would get you that excited? No, I'm asking you. She's asking you. Andrew, you know that is not you. Are you sure?

What would get me that excited? I mean, I've seen your neighbor get plowed in the garden apartment. I did go back to my apartment after, and just the thought of that was just, like, enough for me. Is your neighbor hot? No. The guy that he was getting penetrated by, however, was. Which way were they facing? Okay, so I only saw, okay, just for context, the guy that is, who lives in that apartment,

he is consistently on his bed, completely butt naked, with his ass to the window. What? this is that that show on netflix you that you you yeah that white girl that was like being watched by that crazy librarian right it's like these people don't have curtains well i have curtains they're just sheer and i don't like to close them so but i came home at like probably like two o'clock in the morning and uh when i last left him he was in the same position as always i think he's a student because i saw him on grinder and i believe Is he fucking reading?

What is he learning? He's 21. He's learning how to take that dick. That is a class by itself, you know? Okay. That's a whole class. Ass class. And he's just getting pounded out.

You've seen him on Grindr, but you guys have never matched. You don't match on Grindr. It's just like anybody can message anybody. That's the problem. Yeah. Y'all need to have some kind of limitation. What's the straight people version of that? I need to be able to see everybody.

No, because I can't see everybody. i have to match with them to talk to them i just want to see like a little grid of faces and ads no but it's scary though the uh because then also like you can literally just post like your torso and that's it that's your picture you know that's tacky i mean that's grinder sis i want no parts okay fine you don't need to have a part he said it's not for you sis he said don't nobody want you on there okay there are some lesbian women that do go on it though to find other lesbian women um i know of oh so you know how desperate we are yeah we desperate it's we just can't it's hard lesbians on grinder just to be on grinder other women like what's the lesbian

grinder what is the lesbian i think it's is it her i don't know i you know i'm out the the app game i'm out yeah i can't i don't and for that reason i'm out yeah i got it i was in it and i saw it And I was like, ugh, y'all are, whew. I just, I want people. Just bad. I want, like, somebody attractive with, like, all their teeth that smells good to approach me on the street. Like, at an event. Like, you know, I'm walking by a gallery and you building a chair or something.

You know what I mean? Like, something. You know what I mean? Girl, they do that in the movies for a reason. I'm at the airport. Because that's a fucking fantasy. I'm at the airport. Well, because apps are still fairly new.

Like, 20 years ago, people weren't meeting on apps. They were talking to people on the street. Yeah, girl. in front of Bloomingdale's or like it's not happening like I'm attractive what I look like

coming up I'm not coming up to nobody well I'm I'm not I'm not coming up to anybody I'm not coming

for what you see me you got eyes and you got legs come walk over here come and talk to me yeah but now because of these apps

these men are like even more scared and it's like ugh yuck they're not scared I will say this this is a

this is a reckless thing that I'm about to put out here but I mean they shamed the cat callers so hard that it affected the men who weren't even cat calling they're like oh these bitches don't want us to talk at all so we just we're not saying nothing I'm gonna say that I'm gonna go out on a limb and just say it the cat calling the whole ordeal was so drained to the last bit that now men who are like weren't even catcalling are like you know maybe i don't i should wait and see maybe they'll come talk to me i don't know every guy is a dirtbag and and disgusting and oh you don't know how to talk to women so they're just like i'm not gonna say nothing that's crazy do do we

what are your thoughts on that maybe a little bit but i mean like just it's i feel like men are lazier now than they've ever been in their lives like it used to be you had to make a tiny bit of effort to talk to somebody and engage with somebody straight men anyway i mean gay dudes i feel like y'all do it different y'all are very y'all have y'all just make eye contact and y'all be like okay we on the same page ah y'all hot girl summer y'all but like i don't know i i made eye contact with this dude on the train yesterday and i was like okay he looking at me you know he tall but then he also had like like a like a like a jerry curl ponytail oh marie right it's like he looked like he looked like a young david ruffin you know he looked like a temptation or

something and and i want to say he came to sit next to me because he was sitting across from me and then a bunch of shuffling happened and he got up and came to sit like next to me and i saw his phone and he was listening to kelly price and i was like ah girl you're not his type he's listening to kelly you don't want no part i was like does that say transparent i was like i gotta go uh but like you know you make eye contact with these people you smile a little bit I will say I think since I've been bald people are a little a little more confident I mean I don't know I actually I don't know how this sentence makes sense they like they're not talking to me but they're like smiling at me have you been going out no really I've been kind of lazy about that

Did you go out last night? I did go out, but I didn't go on a date. I just went out with somebody. What'd you do? We went to get some drinks, and then I went home. I was with Fran. Oh, okay. Girl.

Girl. But everybody was chubby. All the men looked like grapes with beards. No! They were all round and had beards. Grapes. That's unfortunate. It's a lot of Mr. Potato Heads just floating out here.

Just a lot of russet potatoes out here. A lot of Idaho's. Good God. Cow bodies. And this is why they don't talk now. Because we're just, we're so mean. I want to be better at like. Being nice to men.

But as soon as you be nice, you give them a little inch and they're already like anal. It's like, stop it. Hold on. What the fuck, dude? She want to fuck. First of all, I'm a lesbian. I was just complimenting you. And now you think I want to have sex with you.

Yep. This week, this guy was like, ah, Cindy, you be saying you a lesbian. But the way you be looking, it's like, because I got eyes. I can say, oh, this guy is good looking, and I can even be like, ooh, okay, but I don't want a dick inside of me that's real. How about that? That's real? Yeah, I don't want no real dick. I'll take the real adjacent dick.

Okay. Cute. Yeah, I'll take a fake dick. I don't want a dick that's attached to somebody that can speak and give me their opinion. I don't want that. No, thank you. So with lesbians, do you guys pick the dick out together? I feel in a long-term relationship, I guess.

But, I mean, that seems like a lot. And, you know, some people don't know what they want. Right. And then you got to be, like, sitting there and be like, well, what's this and what's that? You said sitting there. You get to try it on at the store? I'm sitting down.

It's exhausting. I don't want to fucking stand up and look at dick. I got to get a break. It feels like an extra step. You know, you can just meet somebody and hope that the dick fits. you know if the dick don't fit you must no but we don't want their opinions we don't exactly well i don't want to listen to them you don't have to listen to them yes you do unfortunately you have to before and after a little yeah marie you are you over there with a mute nigga what's up yeah

he's uh he's uh helen keller henry keller he blind too he can't see what's up like braille he's gonna get that braille dick what you got going on over there nothing literally nothing um yeah what what what the way you looking well because i like i don't i don't want to talk about it well because i was going to talk about you know the fact that i'm dying of hpv but oh my god i don't want to talk about hpv no i don't want to talk about it oh god no you want to talk about hpv because we already i already talked about hpv okay what did you talk about when did we talk um about in the what is it reformed hoe expert episode where he said they He only had one STD ever.

What did he say his STD was? I think it was like, was it chlamydia? Chlamydia. I can't remember. There's too much going on. Let's just go with chlamydia. That's the standard. And I said my list, including HPV, which the symptoms doesn't show up for everybody.

Yeah. It showed up for me. Is it showing up for you? No. Oh, everybody has HPV. Marie, everybody. This whole week I've been saying that I'm dying. When I was waitressing, it was a lot.

What do you mean? Everybody had HPV at your job? Not everybody at the job, but like one person would say, and then like, oh yeah, and such and such. And then, oh yeah, and then such. And it's like, oh wow, that's a lot. And it's just like, it's just a thing. Yes, but it had never been a thing for me.

No, it has. If you are sexually active, you have HPV. How did you find out that you have HPV? I went to Planned Parenthood. She finally got a checkup. I got like a pap smear or whatever, and they said it came back abnormal. Mind you, the test was in July.

So that's how I probably got it too. The test was in July. And then they were like, well, you got to come in. We got to biopsy your cervix to see like what's wrong with your cells. They like cut a piece of my cervix out. It hurt? It hurt? I mean, they like numbed it and they were like, we're going to spray it with vinegar.

I was like, is that apple cider? And they're like, no, it's just regular vinegar. And I was like, what? Oh, they going to put some chips on it or like salt and vinegar? Girl, some dill pickles. I was like, what's happening? So they sent me a letter. they were like oh your your test came back abnormal you got to come in for this biopsy

I'm like bet I'm tired of these letters just fucking call me man send me a text that says yay or nay can you come in this day so they were like can you come in on the for the biopsy on your birthday and I was like absolutely not I'm not gonna have this fake surgery on the day of my birthday because they were like well before this surgery this thing you can't have sex for three days two or three days before and I was like I'm gonna be getting dick it's my birthday weekend so I moved it to this past week and I got there and they're like so you have HPV and we're gonna run this test and I was like I was like I have it or y'all testing if I have it and they're like no you have it and I was like the letter didn't say that I have it and they were like you

have it we just need to know like what is it mild is it like is it gonna turn into cervical cancer and all I heard was cervical cancer and I was like cancer and um that's what that day was I text the group and i was like bury me you were so you were so loose about it and i was like oh my god this i as a friend was like marie has opened up another box of herself my box is too open since that's why i got hpv no that's not the case i don't even know how long i've had it because i hadn't been to the gynecologist in legit years but wait wait marie this is a real thing and i think that it's important to educate our listeners

that, like, there's nothing wrong with HPV. I mean, low-key, I think there's something wrong with it. Something is wrong. Like, it can turn into cervical cancer, but there's this stigma and it's like, a lot of the times, it's men giving it to women. Okay, so let's talk about it. So then I spoke to the Jamaican

and I told him that I have HPV and he was like, what? Because I was like, well, if he gave it to me, then I'm going to need for him to know so he don't give it me again right that's not how it's not everyone has hpv but i've not been one of those everyone's i've been looking down my nose at y'all dusty hpv coochies and here i am how do you know when was the last time you had a pap smear i hadn't legit exactly so what are you talking about

what do you mean what's the question the question is sis you don't know when so you could have been like everyone else down for having hpv because i was like i'm suddenly when you have it i'm like it's above me now you know i don't know nothing about that and i googled the symptoms and i was like well you know my cat is still smooth and she thriving but like they were like they so they do this test they cut they cut stuff out they put it in these little petri dishes oh my god you saw it i saw because i wanted to see and i was like i don't want to talk about it stop it was like a little it was gross okay and they like stir it with a little spoon shaking not stirred throw up

and they like try to seal cause they they seal your wound or whatever in your body and they're like you can't have sex

until Thursday or whatever day it was so you gotta you gotta commission I mean that was this past week so like I'm ready to go but I haven't spoken

to the Jamaican cause I told them I have HPV no Marie yeah I hope you're fucking listening you dirty

dirty bitch don't you dare do that don't you do that now don't I want you to man up and be like, hey, this is a little bit of HPV, I guess. He didn't even know what it was. Like, both of us were on the phone, like, Googling it. And when you Google it, it's so scary because it's like, oh, my God.

Like, what? It's not, though. But when you Google it, it's terrifying. It can be. But I'm saying, like, the way we're talking about it. Okay, look, I'm fine. Apparently 79 million people have HPV. It's the most common of the STIs or whatever.

but like there are no real symptoms in men and there's no cure for it it either goes away by itself or it turns into cervical cancer it's like herpes except don't do that to me sis don't put my box in the same box as people who got herpes

like Usher thank you and you know that was very mean what they did to Usher what was mean about what they did to Usher they put him in the Hustlers movie that was mean no that they just like shamed him so hard it's just everybody who had herpes were watching it

okay but if you have herpes and you're famous and you give in like you're just cause you they're hoes if you're famous and you're a man you're gonna be sleeping with everybody cause you got fans if you got herpes and you giving it to people you should be shamed yeah that's true

wrap your bumpy dick up Usher when you're feeling he was talking about herpes the whole fucking time you gotta let it burn root I wonder if he gave it to Chili anyway but that's what like that's

herpes is different is there any creams that you have to take like no my cat is fine I just have to wait they said it's gonna take 10 days for them to like test everything and figure it out and they're like if we call you then it's mild and it's gonna go away by itself

like it's barely HPV if we send you a letter than is something else and i was like just kill me now lord what did you tell your mom i told my mother that i had to go get biopsied i feel like if i told my mother i had hpv she'd be like you out here being a hoe in these streets well i mean she's a mom she knows that people i don't even know if i'm like i don't even know if my mother knows what hpv is but isn't she a nurse yeah but I mean, this is like a new disease.

Is it? My mother works at a nursing home with old people. No, they have an STD suit. Old people got the classics. They're getting scurvy. They're getting, like, you know, chlamydia. They got crabs over there. They're getting crabs.

They're not getting HPV. I don't know. They already have it. Yes, they do. Yes, Marie. People have HPV. You know who else has HPV? The Jamaican.

Because, uh. Ooh. Ooh. Girl. or maybe I because they were like when did you get the HPV vaccine

and I was like what the fuck is an HPV vaccine apparently you're supposed to get like a shot or something and then

after a few days or weeks you're supposed to come back and get more I think I only got the first one Marie first of all

can we just clap everybody clap for Marie for being so brave and just like educating everybody no she's not educating anybody

I feel we want to take this out what why because I actually had a really bad experience with HPV and here you are let's talk about well cause you know

yeah talk about it yours was bad and mine is also bad I might have cervical cancer you don't have a cervix you don't I could have gotten cancer you don't have a cervix

I could have I had it in my asshole this is not HPV Olympics or competition okay Andrew definitely lost or won depending on what you

I think he won it's in his ass that feels like a loss to me but it comes up as different symptoms and I got wards and it was disgusting and I went to three different

butt doctors when you go to the butt doctor you gotta be on your stomach with your ass up or you gotta be on your back with your butt scooched all the way what kind of insurance do you get for butt doctors? I don't even

you can't have medicaid and get a butt doctor I'll tell you that much no medicaid doctor is gonna be looking at your asshole that's not happening there's still something in there and I went to the fourth doctor oh my god I'm so sorry oh sorry yeah we started late you'll cut that out we Andrew that's Andrew has to go let in our guest but I'm learning so much and I want you guys to uh you know slide in my dms if you have HPV uh just so I can see how many of y'all are cool Marie it's honestly I I it's so many like personal

friends of mine that like when they mentioned it everybody around them was like oh like because it's so common that's good for them it's not good for me i know but i'm just telling you as a supportive friend who had trichonomous who people were messaging me about they were mentioning they were like we don't really know what the hell that is it was a parasite it was a parasite in my vagina and it was it was not good it was that by far grossest thing it didn't smell good

discharge awful Sydney wow it felt like I was dying inside like my stomach like you had a baby

in there no I know the difference it didn't feel like that I know what a baby feels like several times anyway

a baby feels like death no it did not feel it did not feel like that but it was it was I felt embarrassed

and then when I approached the person that gave it to you yes he said well you know i don't know what my girlfriend be doing what i don't know what my girlfriend be doing and i said well uh you now you're gonna know because you're gonna have to tell her yeah i was like you're gonna have to after this i said if you want me to show you the if you need this letter to give to her you gave this did you know that he had a girlfriend yeah i didn't know he had a baby on the way you got tricking trichinosis so she had it too did the baby get it no oh my god no but he definitely had to tell her he still would or i actually i don't know i don't really keep up i see him on instagram

doing well i'm like well you're a trick ass you're trick trick ass trick trick trick trick a lot of kids oh my god yeah when and then like i think it's so stressful if you have an sti and you have to you know contact people it's it's it's a lot on you and then it's like how are they gonna take this and then at the end of the day we have to be adults it's like if you are not getting checked up on a regular yeah it's like you don't know who gave who so it's like when you get the information you can't be like oh i'm ready to fight you gotta be like ah well yeah my dick be dirty so my dick do be dirty it do be out here you got a dusty dick out here yeah so it's just like and then if you're a woman it's like we're just more acceptable to getting things it's

unacceptable for me it's unacceptable but keep your dirty dick on your side of the block don't come to my house don't bring that here leave it there do you but do you believe it's the Yeah, but see, again, I also hadn't been to the gun contest in so long that it was like, I might have could bought this with me. You know, I might have been carrying this HPV for a minute. Is it international, this HPV? You got stamped. Passport, H, passport, V.

Human passport virus. Oh, my God. No, because you get it from unprotected sex. You just get it from just sex in general. Andrew, don't do that. Don't do that. That's why you got what you got. I thought you were on my side.

Andrew, that's why you got what you got and I got what I got. Oh my God. Do not put this on me. We don't have the same thing. No. You got super HPV. You said that you, okay, what?

I got diet HPV. Yeah, what? Sex, no sex for three days. Light HPV, light. Her, she's got flat tummy T HPV. Fashion Nova HPV. Yeah, ew. I got Kylie Jenner lip kit HPV.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's casual. Yeah, you got JCPenney's HPV. Stop. Your HPV from Sears. I quit. You got your APV from Claire's. Your HPV is in a Ugg boot.

Clearly. Your HPV from TJ Maxx. Okay, we get it. Anyway. Well, this is, I'm really happy that we were able to turn this into, like, something very light. And anybody who's listening and you might have, like, an STD or HPV or herpes or whatever, just know that you're not alone. and like you have to be responsible. Tell

the other people that you've been having sex with get checked up. Duh. How often if you're sexually active, how often are you getting tested? Every like two to three months. Two to three months. Cause you're gay. Cause you out here hoeing. Cause you're gay. I hate you. Yeah, but it's different for you guys though, right?

Yeah, because we're having sex. Because the anus is the most open. The most sex ed sit. It is. It is. It is very susceptible. Susceptible. That's the word. That's what I was trying to look for.

You said acceptable. I said acceptable. It is acceptable. Yeah, the anus is very acceptable. Thank you. Unacceptable for me. Anyway, slide in our DMs. Tell us which STDs you got right now.

And how did you cure it? Like, what kind of meds you got? Do you have extra? You got extra? You got extra? Send them to Forever Dog. Okay, send them to the Studes. attention to all sexy gay

producer intern Andrew but Andrew it's fine we're all adults it's fine definitely get checked up every two to three months or if you're not having unprotected sex maybe every six even if you're having protected sex they'll get checked up

so what the whole point then okay so I get on birth control I get on birth control and I can still get pregnant I can still get pregnant and I can still catch a little dirty dick uh hpv yeah yeah stop hpv is not even the word hp everyone i know i know yes hpv is not the honestly i'm doing great when people have hpv they say everybody got it just yeah yeah yeah but when people have chlamydia they also say everybody's had chlamydia

which is true though which okay i've never had the clap but i i do know that people get it i've had trichinoma said nobody else has told me about it nobody else has had it that's because that's like people messaged me and they were like we're still question mark question mark question mark what like tricking trickinometry a squared plus it's a parasite it's very niche i had a i had a boutique you know it only came in three sizes it came in a two three and a four yeah it was very like svelte my cute merch my stds are a boutique it was so skinny you know it was very vogue it looked like renee zellweger it did they actually showed me the parasite wait like the bug they pull the bug out of your pussy no no no no they take a sample they put it

in the petri dish they put it under a microscope and they were like this is what it looks like what doctor you go to that they had the microscope right by the thing well i said uh some i told them the symptoms and they were like oh you could when i told them what was going on they're like oh you can have this or this oh what was the other thing i don't remember i just remember that i had Trichonomus or whatever you call it and you saw the parasite just dancing

it was long no Sydney that sounds like like the bug from the matrix that they were putting in people it was yuck it was very yuck and this was

I don't know this was like 10 years ago so yeah see that's why that's why I didn't want to talk about this today because it's now you know

in 10 years I could have been like yeah I had HPV once you know it was casual you know it went away you still will have HPV I'm still gonna have it

in 10 years Andrew why are you gonna wish that on me I still have HPV but that's cause you grow I'm not carrying this with me Into my 30s and 30s Oh my god Unacceptable

I'm not gonna be getting My Hollywood star He's not above this It's above me now It's not above you I'm not gonna be getting My star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with HPV

Yes that's what's Going to happen That's not my plus one To the Oscars It is Always your plus one Everyone's plus one I'm not getting Spanx

With HPV When you go to the party You're like Can I bring somebody I have another person Coming with I'm here I'm here for the

Black Hollywood Emmy party Yeah Oh my god Did you see what happened with that? No, what happened? Oh my God, Amanda Seales got turned away at the door. No! Can we talk?

Just a little. This is messy, but it's fine. Just say facts. That's it. Okay, so this is what I learned. Apparently, Jesse Williams invited her to the black Hollywood- The light-skinned guy from Grey. The light-skinned one that cheated on his wife with that white woman.

From Grey Anatomy. Yep. But you know, you can't trust a light-skinned black man with grey eyes. Is there any way we can just bleep the person out? The name? Yeah, can we bleep? Yeah. Where?

Which one? Are you not saying? Well, she posted it on her Insta story. She talked about it on her podcast. Oh, work. Okay, fine. All right, cool. But apparently she, like Issa Rae's publicist was having a party and Issa Rae's publicist

doesn't like her. And so Amanda Seale showed up with all these people and they were like, they could come in, but you can't come in. And she was like, what? She was like, what? Originally, she was saying that a white woman turned her away from the party, but came out later. It was a black woman that was like, you specifically cannot come in here.

You're not on the list. So somebody came out to like meet her and she went in and she was at the bar and then four security guards escorted her out. Like, you can't be here. I can't wait to get that type of celebrity. Apparently, I'm kicking everyone. You got to go. Get your man. Everybody get out.

You're not on the list. And then it's like, but none of my friends, they can stay, but you can't stay. Apparently, there was a table. Insecure had a table at the party and everybody from Insecure was there and they watched her get escorted out and nobody helped. Nobody stepped in. Tacky. Nobody was like, sis, you want some bread to go? Nobody.

Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Anyway, so that's what happened. Marie, would you allow that if that was me? If we were. If there was a party, you were already in.

Yeah. And I'm texting you. I'm like, they not let me in. Da, da, da, da, da. I'm coming to the door. I'm going to say, you know, she's famous. What's happening? She's famous.

And we're walking in together. And then if you get kicked out, I'm going to be like, sis, you want me to wrap some food up? Huh? We doing carbs today or nah? I'd be like, this is what that's like. I would go on my Insta stories. You would go live? I'd go live.

I'd be like, look at this. Did she go live? Look how they dragging my friend out here. Look at her. Her shoe is dragging. You look like Cinderella. I would go live for you. But yeah, but apparently they don't really, you know, those really ain't your friends,

you know, co-workers. Colleagues. Colleagues. But I mean, Marie, I'm a close friend. you're not leaving the party because i can't get in you're not doing that i mean it depends on who you know like if oprah got a table close by i might stay at the party but i would leave with you probably i would meet you after i'd meet you after yeah at like a checkers or something you're not leaving the party you're just not i wouldn't i would you leave the party if i

was if you were inside and i and you were with your friends you had a table and everything and i'm like city they won't let me in because they said i would leave a hundred percent leave I would leave. No matter how lit the party was. First of all, I don't drink. I didn't already took my pictures. You know we getting in there and taking pictures quick and then leaving. You just arrived.

You just arrived. You waiting for the food to come out. You would leave? You would leave? She's like, I already took my pictures. No, would you leave if you just got there? And you know it's like, you know, steak is coming out, lobsters for the table. I don't care about any of that.

Lobsters for the table. They got a professional sushi chef in the back. He just whipping a roll. If we still working together, if we still doing the pod, I'm going to leave. Because I'm like, I got to see you at work. And then be like, ah, it's going to be messy. But if I hadn't seen you in a year, just sitting here, I'm like, it's casual. If you were alone, she would leave.

If I was alone. Okay. If I was with somebody, you'd be like, well, I'll just see y'all back at the hotel. Let's talk about it. Marie, you are one of the closest people I have in my life. If you were like family, I would leave. Fuck that party. Okay, well then I guess I gotta leave too.

No. I'm leaving too. Ask me the question again and I'm gonna answer it. I'm like, well, one of us gotta be the inside man, you know, to tell us. To tell us. Right. Was Denzel touching somebody's butt inside? Did Sanaa Lathan bite Beyonce's face?

Like, we need somebody at the Black Hollywood Party to be like. The problem is, if I see you in pictures with these motherfuckers, I'm gonna be pissed. I'm gonna be furious. Right. Yeah. And I do know that you have severe FOMO. I do. So, yeah.

Okay. Well, I would leave. But I wouldn't leave right away, sis. I would stay for at least 20 minutes. 20, 30 minutes. So, I got to wait outside. I got to tell the Uber driver, you got extra 20? I'd be texting you like, girl, I'm just trying to get my coat, the coat checker line real

long. Wow. She put it, she first, she said it was a white woman and then it was really a black woman. It was a black woman. I see what you're doing, sis. Yeah. So, anyway, she talked about it on her podcast. I would tell y'all to listen to it, but you don't need to.

You need to listen to this one again. Oh, my God. Matter of fact, go listen to another episode of this podcast. oh you're so rude go listen to last week's episode I never said any of that I don't I don't agree with

what Marie said listen to the pod well what did I say that oh you don't agree with me saying don't listen to her podcast I was saying I already gave them the story

so what you listening for a full hour for you know you gotta hear you gotta hear true anywho shout out to everybody

with HPV shout out to people who can't get into parties shout out to people moving and you know trying to figure shit out they got a roommate

and they over 30 and stuff Shout out to people who are sleeping on an air mattress right now, you know. Yeah, shout out to people who are getting mattresses from Helix, you know. Shout out to people who are getting bed-in-a-boxes. Casper what? Casper who? Casper the friendly ghost. Okay, Helix.

Thank you. Thanks. Shout out to people who have warts in their butt. Not anymore. I got them surgically removed. Wow, I ain't got no insurance. I couldn't have sex for three months. Three months?

Three months, yes. Oh, you had other... It sounded like you needed to take some time off anyway. you need to rest that was that was God telling you to get some rest get some rest

because no other man was looking out for me that's for sure I mean baby baby baby okay so this has been

a fantastic episode I love you guys dearly Sydney when is your show? oh the October the 26th at Union Hall yes thanks to everybody

who went to our live show that happened right last Friday yes and then we have our live show that's for the

New York Comedy Festival that's gonna be at Union Hall on November 5th. 5th? I'm like 9th? November 5th at 5 p.m.

Buy those tickets. I don't want to hear nothing. It's an early, midday situation. You can come see us. It's going to be an hour real quick, real smooth

and then we can just get drinks and stuff afterwards. Get some food. Get some wings. Yeah, get some wings. Yeah. I want that bitch sold out so I don't want to hear nothing.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. If you can't afford the ticket, how much is the ticket? 15? 10? 5? If you really can't afford it

and you are ride or die, hit me up. I'm gonna put you on the list how about that that's what I was trying to say but I couldn't get it in there but I have I have two slots

make sure you're on the list if you if you show up and you're not on the list don't ask us to come outside we're not coming out we will amend a seal's dead ass

we will insecure you anyway bye guys rate, comment, subscribe see you on the Patreon that we're hopefully gonna update yes yes yes

it's happening it's happening don't worry don't put that energy out there it's gonna be Patreon is lit it's list lit okay

anyway bye guys bye Forever Dog. our page on Facebook.