MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Bricked Up Crowd w/ Josh Sharp

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by Josh Sharp! Three chat late MESS, biking MESS, performing MESS and more.  Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description oh you're listening to mass boom boom boom we did it well here yes i've already had a long day because i've already done a podcast before this and then i came here and i said i will have energy for y'all i will do even when you don't Do a podcast before you come here. Your energy will be pretty high for that. Really? You know why?

You want to work out. Really? Run the tape. Roll the clip. Sometimes. I mean, we did too much. I will be honest. Our mess up top is we did Moon Tower.

We had fun. But those are like shows every night. But then we also had Dallas right after Moon Tower, which is in Austin. And we did not know we were both going to be in Austin. i mean uh dallas at the same time until like maybe a week before yeah and it was like well why didn't anybody tell us this because we would have shared google calendar like you're a polyamorous couple no no why would we have that also who gonna set that up yeah great that's the real question because if somebody was like well let me just put all your dates in so you know it'd be like okay

whatever but who can do that should we should we share should we share our calendar that should be a job poly admin admin for poly people that you could make money i think there's an app i'm gonna say fiverr or task rep i think you how was austin how are the vibes in austin i haven't been in a few years i'm just wondering with the current sort of you know tony hinchification of austin it was very chilly i'm gonna start with the weather first okay right it was warmer in new york the week that we were gone well that's upside down what is it opposite day i bought one bathing suit and i was like i didn't bring enough bathing suits no i bought exactly enough you needed your long sleeve bathing suit sounds like i needed my burkini baby yeah

okay i wanted a whole uh what do you do when you um go scuba diving that's what i know wetsuit i need a wetsuit for us because it also rained torrential downpours on the last so they're lying to us i didn't think it did that down there maybe cloud seating southern cloud understood say no more and then what else did you think about austin the people were fine austin is like hipsterville in uh a red state yeah one of those keep blank weird towns like the bumper stickers that are like keep keep ashville weird i grew up with that yeah where's ashville western north carolina i was gonna guess tennessee don't close asheville tennessee if you were in asheville you wanted to be in tennessee you get in that car you drive an hour and a half you're there you're

pretty much there babe tennessee's at your fingertips when you're in asheville tell you that much listen we didn't do any driving in austin not really no everything was like walking distance um the shows were really great i mean i had 10 shows i think eight of them were great that's good i think it's like one of those things is festival people so they want to have a good time and they love comedy um and so we didn't get any of the i don't know joe rogan right it's a different energy at all like every show i went to it was a lot of it was predominantly white people they were smiling a lot there was a lot of white people yeah i'll say on camera there's a couple of great white people oh josh name your three great white yeah oh this is good yeah um three

from austin specifically from austin no just i don't what white people you know from bjork bjork okay not austin but yeah she's icelandic white that's white that's a white woman bjork's one of the great whites celine dion yes is anybody mad at celine dion no she's haitian right isn't she haitian's claimer jamaican's claimer everybody wants her yeah everybody wants that yeah yeah who's the third great white hmm god it's hard when you i'll take a live or dead oh i can do dead too betty white betty white betty white and uh dolly barton dolly she's a good yeah great white dream blunt rotation betty dolly bjork celine wow you'd be cutting up really if celine's there you're cutting up does celine get crazy like haven't you seen her no i mean

oh my god have you seen that clip of her doing baha men who let the dogs out you got to watch this immediately she's like in back with her dancers and they she comes in and goes and they all start barking at her and then she goes like it's i can't she is this is a woman who's wild this is a woman who's wild as we get out of here i'm gonna find out who let selena for sure and you'll get to the bottom of it if you know where to look selene's cutting up york's cutting up i don't think dolly's cutting up oh with with titties and bangs like that you're right you're right you're right she's a former cutter upper yeah Yeah, you're right.

No, I think she's still cutting up. I mean, she wears, like, latex pants with no pockets on. Yeah, she's cutting up. She can be around the cut-ups, too. It's like, even if she's not participating, she's like, y'all a little wild. But she's like, she's happy for it. She hosts the cut-ups. Ah, yeah.

I think she would have, like, a cute little tea and crumpets moment. And then, like, if you want whiskey on the side, yeah. No, she's hosting. She's got a big house. Yeah. Yeah. You got a big house. well i mean i i was gonna ask you what your mess is but i'm also like josh sharp is in the building

so we're introducing you right now thank you and blessed be because that's how that's how we're supposed to do it but i really feel like marie has has some mess for us though you think i have some mess yes absolutely oh um i mean i i didn't get the luigi memo for the pod today it's two luigi's in here yeah that's true oh that's right that's true so i put this little um little teacup doily on and cute now it's hat day in the studio so you if you're watching this with your eyeballs you should also be wearing a hat the duration of the pod i think uh not pause right now go get you a hat go get a hat and listen to it correctly protect the dome protect the dome that might be the title of the episode protect the dome i like that

yeah i don't know i feel like my my life feels a little bit like a mess um but uh i don't really have any specific mess for y'all right now well what what made what made you late today friend uh today oh well you know how some streets in new york have uh an ave or a street so i put in av for the address blank blank av and it was like it's a 14 minute walk from the train and i was like 14 minutes i don't think i've ever this is to come to this studio today and you've done that journey many times yes so i was like 14 minutes and i was like is that the right stop so i'm looking at it i and then you can change your app settings to less walking and it still said 14 minutes and i was like let me try street this is as i'm pulling up let me try street and i put it

in and said eight minutes and i said that's my stop that's my stop that but also when i spoke to sydney earlier i was like i'm gonna try to be on time today she was like take your time but you you you did you really believe that marie take your time don't say that to me i'm really i'm trying to get here on time a classic take your time screaming it at me i said to me please don't marie now come on now sis you sydney josh i need you to intervene okay in what manner i told sydney i was because she was already way early but do you affirm that you said take your time we agree on the facts but you're going but you're going you know i didn't when i when i yell at her she does she still takes her time so if i was like oh yeah don't think i thought that would

give her more ease you wanted to leave with grace yes no in the hopes that she would not say take you're comfortable like like she had a bed here take your time take your time have you seen that clip take your time tasia okay well this is one of the best pieces of the internet as well while you're at or you're at celine dion who let the dogs out this is from when fantasia burrino was in color purple oh this is this is not recently no yes someone is filming it on broadway this is pre-iphone so someone's got i don't know how but someone someone had a camcorder truly they're filming it and she's doing the song i'm here you know the midnight number of that thing and she's starting out and you know there's space in the song there's breath you know the music does stuff

this woman yells at her in one of those moments take your time tasia calls her not by her character name but her birth name and says take your time tasia and that's what sydney did to me i'm gonna assume it this woman does not reveal herself from behind the camera but i will i would bet i'll let y'all watch and weigh in yeah i don't need to watch it to know it's a black person well thank you for saying black lady from church she says take your time tasha i don't think fantasia hears her say this to be clear and even if she did she would go i'm sort of following the song yeah but you know what this is the time you're going to take is scripted it's cool yeah but also fantasia ken is known for adding extra breaths to a song yes it's the black gospel

finger away. It's true. But you think she's doing that on Broadway? Well, even if she's not, the conversation needs to happen. Okay. You know, whether she is or isn't, first of all, you're right. She is. Like, she's just going to take it. That's like telling Christina Aguilera to take her time.

Exactly. She's going to take her time. But even if we enter that space knowing it, the conversation is important where the audience still needs to give her permission. Take your time, Tayshia. And thus she does. But you're missing it, Josh. You're missing it. It's a church thing. No, I know. A pastor will be up there or somebody will be up there testifying about, you know, I didn't have a house.

And then, you know, I came home one day and there was a house and they start to cry. And someone in the audience is going to and it's going to be an old black lady. Take your time, like tell your story and take as much time as you need. Exactly. And and when somebody says take your time, right, they're giving you a moment to take a take a beat. But bitch, please don't drag this out like this is the moth. And back to you, Marie, if I say take your time, I'm not saying, yes, show up whenever the hell you want. Cindy, take your time means what?

What does take your time mean? The actual words, take your time. What that mean? Well, Marie, I don't even think you know what time is because you pulling up. You know what's tricky about it is it does say take your time and sort of asks, what about my time? Where does my time fit into this? Josh, you're a mess.

You, you're a mess. But it's interesting because we're only talking about one party's time in this equation. It doesn't say... You didn't say take our time. You said take your time. You know what? Well, let me fix my words, Marie. Don't you ever take your fucking time, okay?

Pull up. Hey, you heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen. Pull up. I don't even know if she admitted that she said take your time or not. I did say take your time. But now it's no longer take your fucking time. Actually, give me my time. That's what you should have said.

And now it's reclaiming my time. Reclaiming my time. Okay. You know what? That was both of our mess today. Josh, Sharp, you are here because I know you have multiple mess. Well, the mess I think I want to get into because, you know, spring has arrived. Spring is upon us.

And so I'm back to being a biker. I'm trying to get my thick summer biking ass, which I'm famous for. And so. Send us a picture of this booty. Yeah, we're going to do it for the dance. You're going to see it for the dance. It's bigger than it was in 2019. I'll tell you that much.

2020 i got a bike the ass is growing okay so i've dusted the bike off because i don't bike in the winter i'm not crazy about it i'm very like confident capable but not militant biker i bike when it makes sense right you know i bike when it's fun i always wear a helmet i bully the girls who don't winter biking feels um well that's a that's a kink that's like you shouldn't do it this way but you are like i have to do it this way yeah because black ice affects bikes too exactly i don't do that but also just being in new york city when you say do it when it makes sense it never really makes sense that's what i mean because like there's times where it's like say i'm going to some part of midtown it's like well i should take the subway right but when i'm

going from one like one part of north brooklyn to another part of north brooklyn oh my god it's like the quickest way to get there and it's it becomes a transformative experience because you have to really pay attention because you are actively doing it yes you know you can't just zone out and you clock things you notice blocks you notice your neighborhood like you take it in and it's like really beautiful yeah and you're getting you know you're getting you get like to be physically engaged i really love it from if i'm going from williamsburg to crown heights honey that's a great bike that's a great bike i am not a biker by any means i can't ride a bike properly if there's witnesses i'm not i'm like wobbly on it but today i was walking home from the gym and

i was like today feels like a day to like jump on a bike exactly and that's a thought i've never had so you understand the instinct well i just want to let y'all know when i really enjoyed uh biking like like i was like i got a bike every day i was very depressed so i'm just trying to figure out y'all good y'all feeling good i love it i need i literally needed to get on the bike to feel alive again but i guess i did a couple reasons one fresh air and sunshine yes and two your exercising and endorphins yes so yeah yeah it would make you feel better it would make you feel better but that doesn't mean it's an issue you know that something makes you feel better that something is good in times of depression doesn't make it not good well i also relapsed so i was

also drinking and were you drinking on the bike the bike had a basket i would drink and then get on the bike i don't do that either drinking and biking sounds worse than biking in the wintertime Yeah, I don't do that either. Hey, mess off. Mess off. Mess off. We're messing off right now. Which is the messier of the two?

Drinking and biking? I think drinking and biking. Or biking in the wintertime. That's also something I don't drink. I don't bike when I've had even a single drink because I'm just like, it doesn't feel right. So maybe that's more messy to me. You've never been on a bicycle with one eye closed trying to get home? No, too scary.

Too scary for me. Do you own your bike? Are you renting? Yes, I own a bike. Okay, we own bike. Yes. Professional. And it's a nice bike that a friend gave me when he was moving during COVID.

And I said, what do you want for this bike? And he said, well, I never ride it anymore. And I need to get rid of stuff. You'd be helping me out. Just give me a burrito. So I bought him a burrito. I took it to the bike shop. I said, my friend gave me this bike for a burrito.

I don't even know if it's good, bad or what. You told the bike people that? Literally, I said, just tell me. I don't care. Because I was just like, is this even a nice bike? He was like, this is an incredibly nice bike. You got an insane deal. So then I went and bought my friend more burritos.

oh multiple burritos so this is like what i paid for it's like a seven to eight burrito bite a burrito is what like 16 yes exactly so i still got a great deal retail retail four figures for this bike but i paid seven to eight burritos um you are god's favorite so i'm not a very messy biker but the mess i was going to bring now that i'm back into biking so this is a take people do not want to hear okay let's lean in pedestrians are messy oh like we all know people who drive cars are are awful like you walk around new york you know it's it's trouble they're bad i get everybody hates bikers i get it i will later on defend bikers but pedestrians are messy you think they're god's angels who don't do nothing wrong it's crazy and you don't really

clock it until you're on a bike that pedestrians are wild explain i'll give you some examples that occurred to me this week right one is people will often treat the bike lane like it's an extra sidewalk for them yes no one does that in the middle of the street where the cars are only at nighttime do i what does that mean and they will be walking like away from me so they can't like same direction as me headphones in can't hear a thing this is true if a bike hits you it's also going to be bad for you yes you know this about a car and so you don't walk down the middle of the street but you're like but i'll fully walk in the middle of the bike highway but yeah but you and they're sing sing sing sing exactly that's not even the worst the worst thing that i see is

pedestrians will be um jaywalking something i as a pedestrian love to do but we understand how jaywalking works it's my right you check do i have the clearance you know that these cars have the green light right if i step out in front of a car kablam it's over for me so you make sure is anybody coming i will see people look not see a car and then step out in front of me a bike who also has the same green light like i have almost hit people because they just like don't register you and so they step out in front of you to jaywalk i think i think they truly don't see you but it's the middle of the day sydney i don't bike at night either i'm like biking following the rules and the laws on a green light through the middle and they just are sort of i don't know

what they expect i honestly think they don't see me i don't think they expect that i'm gonna like throw i've had to throw on the brakes and like so i didn't hit a person like i crash have you ever popped a wheelie into into a crash no but i should i should so i and i think a lot of it ultimately comes to this city in particular and in this country they really they disrespect the bikers most of all there's no infrastructure there are roads for cars there are sidewalks everywhere for pedestrians. Rarely you find a bike lane here. And when you do, it's just auxiliary parking, like people double park there.

Oh, 100%. So because they haven't created a system for you, the culture just sort of, you don't exist. Hey, Josh, you don't have to take that to Amsterdam. They respect bikes over there. I know. They do. Even San Francisco. Actually, Marie, as a... Even San Francisco. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Have you ever biked in

Copenhagen? No. You've never felt better. You've never felt more... You're in a warm bath. I don't think I've ever biked in Europe. Oh. But it feels very Parisian or like English. Tour de France. I mean, I'm not Lance Armstrong. The thing is, is that, right, you're in a, this is a metropolitan, you know, it's a city.

So it's like, use the train, use the bus, walk, get a car, bike. It's not really making any sense because, you know, there's so much going on. Why would you put your life at risk in these little sharp ass weird streets? It could make sense, though, because it's so eco-friendly, but yet you cover more ground than when you're walking. You know what I mean? Like, if we had what Amsterdam had, it would be good for us. I can't fit my Trader Joe's bags on a bicycle. You can't.

You're always coming from Trader Joe's. You go there multiple times a day. There's never a time. Josh, if you want somebody to respect you on your bike, take your ass to the West Side Highway. There's a long-ass little bike area for y'all. But even that, I've done. that's one where the pedestrians are crazy yeah well it depends on what time true after 2 p.m yeah we we getting frisky i'll just say you go in the morning you're good as a city biker i know

i'm like i'm going into a war zone cars want to kill me i didn't know how much pedestrians want to kill me too and want to kill both of us and die yeah i'm just like we know neither of us makes it out of this i think it's because everybody is walking around the main character of their their life we're all main characters you you maybe can register if a car is coming or not and even then like people are texting well that's wild facetime like to me it makes sense that it's people in the bike lane it makes sense that there's people in the street not paying it's like people just you're right though the phones of it all and just the main character of it all means people are so oblivious now in a way where i'm shocked people aren't dying in these streets

more often what about the moms that come out with the double wire stroller yeah they put the stroller out into the street and then they look both ways to see if isn't that wild and it's like the baby's already got hits human shield yeah with the baby two babies i actually think the double y should actually move go out forward and like like long like um what is it when you're doing a single file you got to do that instead of the double y because essentially you're doing too much it's kind of like also think about your bloodline if they're both out there everything's gone everything's you know on the state of the union you know on the state of the union when they do that they always have one like the secretary of transportation they pick one every

time who doesn't go because if someone was to blow up the state of the union everybody who runs this country is gone and they're like we need someone saved just in case you gotta think about that transportation one of your kids out in transit i mean out in the traffic put one behind leave the other one in a hot car you can't put your whole bloodline out there you wipe out your your future your lineage your whole lineage would be gone also it's like why are you using the strollers like we i don't know put that baby in a backpack yeah oh like they do the dog who let the dogs out who let the kids out wait the the dogs are in the backpack oh i guess people do that they're putting they're actually

putting the dogs on their back they also have the dogs in the front why do we think they do that because dogs famously like to walk around they have dog strollers yeah why are we doing that because to be honest we are so the the streets are so crowded the sidewalks that sometimes when people's dogs they're in the fucking way and sometimes i accidentally i didn't mean to step on rovers first of all yes and now why do you have this little ass terrier i have another mess for y'all that happened to me yesterday because and this is to the like people are being so oblivious this man had a dog on a leash he's standing at the corner i see all this from afar i'm like coming up a block away this man has a dog on a leash and he's just zoned out looking at

his phone what is this dog on the leash doing i will tell you it is eating from a pile of yes vomit this dog is lick lick licking vomit and this man does not know i'm seeing this from a block away like oh like a horror movie it looked like the dog's vomit i couldn't say you know it felt like in either case i'm not happy for the dog i'll say that much but it did not seem to be dog vomit to me this is like picks up the dog and then kisses the dog in the mouth probably but then what i saw because i was like oh my god is someone who was waiting at the bus stop by him turn have to tap this man on the shoulder and go your dog's eating vomit and then the guy was like oh no and like pulled it back but he would have never known because he was scrolling his phone

while his dog ate puke i'm like at this point like you're saying people are walking around their phones they're gonna get hit by a car you took your own life in your hands you're endangering this dog i just i want to know what you're scrolling through yeah because you need to be gooned out swipe swipe swiping because we're in the house swiping you're walking the dog swiping the reels are not that important you walking up the stairs swiping you coming down this like the whole day is a swipe well the phones are mess phones are mess are but it's also it's like mine now i'm one of those girls we said we're going to talk about it i've started being one of those people who bricks it you know what i'm talking about so when you brick your phone

explain to the people with that well you can they sell this thing called a brick and i'll be honest people who use it don't shut up about it and now here i am on a public platform being one of those people and word of mouth is more important so i'm good what's nice is it's a thing that you touch your phone to it you know and it bricks your phone out but you can pick what it bricks because i know the person who told me about it was like i brick it and i can't do nothing with it and then he's like and the thing is like you can unbrick it while you're out three times as like an emergency but then you have to like pay them or something so he like one time had an emergency and like couldn't call his wife and had to unbrick and i'm like that seems to be too much yeah so what i do

is i brick it to just like all of those things that i that are causing me issues and not every yeah grind or anyone that i'm like you never been more bricked up grinder you thought you were bricking me up no oh i'm bricking you up brick up you got all your apps gone i'm like no because i don't have um addiction issues with google maps you know i mean i'm fine being out in the world and pulling up google maps yeah but i have sort of all the culprits are bricked and so then i'm out and you have that urge to be like i need this and it just it's gone it's gone and so that's what it on your actual phone when you go to use it actually it's there and it's basically like grayed out and if you hit it it will not open it and so when can you use it when i come home and

tap it on the thing again to free it i have to take my phone out of jail and and you would think that maybe there'd be some part of you like you know like you can't have a cigarette in your hand shaking i have none of that i try to hit it and i go oh thank god like i only feel good that i can't look at these things and i still look at them because sometimes i go home and i unbrick it and i swipe swipe swipe for like 10 or 15 minutes and i go and then i so what if you uninstall the app and reinstall it i used to do that and even that i don't know this is just easier no but you're right with the brick oh good point you're right i haven't done that yet but i'm only like a week and a half but if you you but if once it's brick you can't even touch the app so you can't

yeah exactly i can't do i can't do shit to the app while it's brick install the brick app great point i haven't tried that i haven't tried that yeah i mean really you sound like an addict uh-uh don't do that to me like drunk on a bike don't do that to me i'm just asking for the like what are the ways around it for the people who are the loopholes well here's a mess i'm having with brick and so i hope brick will address this i don't know why but now because i've my app to not let me do social media for some reason it's changed that when i break my phone it somehow has changed the um like um content settings on my phone and i don't know how i've tried to change it but it basically means that now when i break my phone i can't use instagram

i can't go grinder but it also doesn't let me listen to songs with explicit lyrics and and it's because it's put like some sort of child luck on it okay so now i'm out there and if i want to play a song with curse words in it it goes you can't do this so you can't listen to a wet ass pussy truly and i had i did not set that as a part of my brick thing but it's clearly done something to my settings I've decided at this point I don't really care but if that's what makes me like give up brick is that I can't listen to wet ass pussy so brick what's going on here troubleshoot that for me because I did not say don't let me hear naughty songs but when I break my phone and don't look at Instagram it also just you'll go to an album half the songs

are grayed out that's crazy when I hit on it goes well your content settings won't let you listen to this but then I go to my content settings and they're normal so I don't know there's some sort glitch in the brick i need to be able to listen to curse words i mean it's bad enough i can't go on instagram and tiktok i might as well be able to see a fuck shit bitch cunt like i want to hear those and it won't like let me go to like in the web browser if i put in only fans it goes nope and then i'm fine with i'm like great okay i can't look at porn that's not bad why are you looking at porn on your phone in the streets well next question we gotta break your dick yeah next question break your dick your dick is messed up

y'all said you wanted to talk about austin yes but you did in austin what a shocker let's talk about that more but josh you have a show paul that we that we both went to that's incredible that has all these slides this is 2,000 slides? Yeah. It sort of became a thing I did to torture myself, where it's like, I'm doing stand-up, but I've memorized a ton of cues, and you can't believe I've memorized it all. And you were saying you're dealing with this mess now with your show.

The fact that you don't even have to click on your laptop. You have a clicker. I don't have a clicker. I'm behind the laptop trying to do the cues, and it's like, I actually need to get up and move around, because I think people want to see the ass, and they want to see me moving around. The first time I tried the show, years before what you saw, when I was workshopping it for the first time i had to be at a laptop because i was like i can't learn all this shit it's like

an insane amount of cues but then i thought the show was so bad and i realized i was like no you just have to make yourself get memorize it memorize and you can move and then the party trick of like can you believe he memorized a thing every like 1.7 seconds and it's all tied to like specific words then people are like really impressed but i told sydney how for like three years of building it i was sitting in my room at home having severe self-loathing just being like you fucking faggot why did you fucking do this to yourself nobody wants this what the fuck are you doing i do and so then after three years like of doing it doing it doing it finally i just like learned it and then now i'm like oh thank god i did that watching it it was so satisfying

as a viewer i was like ah you just you say so impressive i think we're in a little bit of an where it's like fun to have show effort like to be like oh it's fun to try you know i'm like i tried too hard for you i think people are sort of like that right now sometimes do you know what i mean i think people want to see people try because so many people aren't trying exactly so like when you're like i tried way too hard i think people like they have sympathy for you but they're like you you did a lot and you did it well and you did it well and so it was it was on uh off-broadway but then you traveled with it you went to then i just got back from doing it in london yeah and So you have to mess about that.

That's true. There were a little mess there. Give us the mess. It mostly went great because I don't have an audience there. I'd never performed there. And then shows were sold out. Every British comedian was like, I'm going to warn you, they're quiet. Then they'd come see my show.

They'd be like, I've never heard it that loud. And I went, well, maybe the issue isn't the crowds. Maybe the issue is the materials. Maybe it's you, baby. The crowd is bricked up. They don't want to laugh at your jokes. So mostly it was good. We extended.

We did a good time. But then towards the end, I started to see we had some issues I never had in New York. What did you see? Well, in New York, you know, we were doing the show at 7 o'clock. We were in sort of a nice downtown theater. You got people who sort of were in a theater-going mode. Yes. There it was 9.30.

And the place is like more of a comedy theater, like a little more of a pirate ship. You get like a motley crew coming to those shows. And so sometimes people were not behaved. I had a woman one night who was, you know, like about halfway through the show, i start talking about this story of my mom dying of cancer and stuff this one was pulling out her phone all the time and i was just trying to be like i'm gonna ignore this you know because it's like it sort of serves me better brightness full or like a low brightness well she wasn't even texting on it she was like taking pictures and stuff i think and i'm like the flash on not with

the flash on but like way too much but i was like whatever i just need to focus and do the thing then i start to talk about my mom and she just when i say this woman leans in and i see her she's just like recording the whole thing no and i was like i can't tell this story if you're just gonna and she's like two feet like second row so then i finally was like i'm sorry ma'am it's so distracting and it is part of the show i just can't can you put your phone away and then she revealed that she was clearly drunk she's like but i want to take my video like she was like so drunk i was like please just put it away and so then she did and then she fell asleep for the rest of the show and that was better okay so that's that's so it's messier to be on the phone

absolutely i was like i'd rather you take a nap so sometimes i'd have people who were and she started snoring that would be more yeah like drunk snoring 9 30 was tough because it's a country that starts drinking early that's really what it is therapy never so like sometimes they were most of them were good one time two gay men got into a full shouting match during the show i don't know what about but i'm doing the show and they turned they're like i've told you for the last time to not speak like they're like yelling at each other and so i had to be like i had to stop showing because everybody was like what's going on so i stopped showing i was like i'm so sorry because i thought maybe there's like an emergency or something yeah yeah i was like is everything

okay right here and they're like all right we're fine we're fine and so i went okay i kept doing the show immediately they go right back to it he's like for the last time if you speak to me yelling at each other so then i was like i'm sorry is everything okay and i'm trying to signal like y'all can leave if there's an issue there's no signaling it's you need you need to leave then the man goes i i said we're fine and i was like all right now they're mad at you for interrupting so i start to do the show this man who's in the argument is deeply upset he to my appearances because i'm doing it in front of it like you said i have 2 000 slides i have a giant white screen i'm backlit as fuck i can see every single person's face i know what's going on

this man goes like this head down starts to i think cry no because he's been called out the other man who was in a fight with him now is like sympathetic for him so for the next 15 minutes he's rubbing this man's back while he cries lover's quarrel yes i'm just doing the show trying to ignore it but he's one man is crying and the other is rubbing his back in this instance That's when I get to the part where I'm like, and my mom died. And here's the story of it. Then the sad man perks up. Then he's fully invested the rest of the show.

He said, she passed. Surely. And he was like, I'm so sorry. Like, you could see him be like, I'm sorry. And then he was on good behavior. Well, you gotta, you gotta mention. I gotta, you gotta tap in. You gotta get to the end sooner.

Yeah. Do the end of the beginning. Do the rest of it. That's right. That's a note on me. I should have warned him when they were yelling. I should have said, excuse me, fellas. My mom's going to die in about 20 minutes.

Yeah. so can we stop yeah can we damn so there's more but they're mostly good i don't mean to focus on a couple of bad ones but like no it's a phenomenal show and everybody loves it so it you're fine but also it's like you're you're i can't believe how rude people are but also like an audience yes it's stand-up but it's a little bit of a play so it's like not a show you can like if you can like when that stuff happens you have to sort of be like time out on the play what's going on can we keep doing the play or do you need to leave where in london was the show the soho theater lovely spot very fringe like every great show like that happens there yeah so i don't know if it was

i don't think it was there i think it was like 9 30 and also i think that's a space where sometimes people come because they're like i just want to see the comedy show and they don't know what it is and then i'm doing a play for you and my mom's dying at 10 20 and you've been drinking since 4 p.m and you're sort of like but people are messed i will look in the camera hey audiences is we love you down love we need you there but sometimes it's like we got it we don't need you to be talking to us or at us or taking pictures and videos and it's all distracting it's like let me come to you if i need you and if not just just laugh i'll be like oh question do you think this modern i'll call it scourge of like the crowd work for the phones like all these like

crowd work clips that have made people so famous do you think that's taught audiences to be like oh i just talked they want to talk to me a lot of people are going to comedy shows now that have never been to a comedy show in their lives and they think the whole thing is we talk to each other right they watch those clips slash think they're the main character slash think they're as funny as you on stage yes so yes i think that the clips are not helping because y'all are in the clubs more than i am these days yeah but do you both play the cellar so yeah but i used to and i don't anymore phones up at the same oh they do i was gonna say has it gotten worse there but no because they lock your phone you put your phone in a little pouch you don't get that pouch back

until to the end you can't open it until you but are but are they talking back because they think like oh you want to talk to me it's crowd work time sometimes they'll they'll want to talk but there's security there yeah yeah the later shows when it's you know people have been drinking like there's like there's like a midnight show and you know there's a show that's it they're still there at like 1 30 you know i mean obviously people are out of their minds but yes security don't play that they will kick you right on out 1 30 in new york that's a 9 30 in uk as far as how many hours you've been drinking right right because in you in the uk everybody over there is a functioning alcoholic yeah yes you guys have problems you guys they start early like age wise and time wise

it's impressive it's impressive what they can do well i mean you don't really have nothing else to on a gloomy gray day he's like hey let's let's drink and sit on the curb yeah if they had i think if they had better weather and like maybe better buildings they would be less sad and drink less as well but do we think that i don't think that they're sad you think english people are sad no they seem pretty happy yeah it do they seem happy or do they seem drunk which one which one it is they don't all seem drunk i'm just saying they're functioning alcoholics like they drink a lot but But I don't think that it's like sloppy. And we know, you know, because we're in our sector in comedy.

There's a lot of functioning alcoholics. Yeah. So you can you can diagnose that. This is true. You're an expert at this point. I mean, I've done it, baby. I've been in it. You've been in the trend.

You're a Ph.D. student. You graduated with a degree. Boots on the ground. She wrote her thesis on her bike. You did a thesis. On her bike. Thank God I'm out of that. Thank God I'm out of that.

Well, you know what? I was going to, I did want to talk about how, um, the, the crowd word stuff is annoying because it's like, I want to post something like that. Cause it, it is a great moment. And this might, this might pop off, but then it's also like, why, why, why, why do we keep doing this now? Like we all have a lot of material or we all could just have a podcast or just post something with your friends.

I think it's a couple different reasons, but one is if you have a funny crowd work moment that goes viral, then it's easier to get followers and sell tickets. You don't necessarily want to do your material and drop that because it could be stuff that you're still doing at shows and on stage. And another part of that is people will come see you and be like, you did jokes that I already heard before. Right. And it's like, yeah, bitch, this my set. Yeah. I already know these ones. do you have anything new well listen to them and you'll know them is there any jokes in the back

you ain't got no jokes in the back so i think it's it's kind of that um but isn't that isn't that bleak though i mean i get it it's the era we're in but that you have to sort of because the algorithm likes that right now it's like the algorithm they can change they can flip a switch tomorrow and it might hit crowd work this is true this is true well you don't you have a you have a show well and that's true now i'm doing a new crowd work show and i do it in the round because if i'm talking to you i want to be surrounded i like the idea that you could that i'm like you're at every corner but then i don't film it because i think it's very interesting how people talk when they're not when they i tell them up top i'm not clipping this and then crowd work

it's interesting that crowd work is mostly you asking the crowd what they do for work it's sort of all it's hermetically sealed so all i do is ask these people about their jobs and then and then we sort of actually talk to one another about about work and people say different things when they're not being filmed. What do people got to say about work? What are the people saying? Well, I was saying to Sydney how it's interesting that a lot of doing the show, you start to recognize, and I have empathy for

every job. I'm never going to judge someone for their work, really. But you start to see the room does. I will, and I do. You start to see the room does. I ask people what they do. One person says, I work for the Special Olympics. You feel the room go, oh. Then you ask someone else, what do you do? And they're like, well, I work

for Instagram. And the whole room goes, oh. And you're like, it's interesting. It's interesting, isn't it? But also, you hate Instagram, but you're on Instagram at the show, baby. Like, what's up? Yeah. Which we kind of think like Instagram is a part of the reason why, you know, we're ruining our minds. Our minds are ruined.

Well, get on the bike. It's killing us. Can't be on the Instagram on the bike. Get on the brick. Get on the bike. And people do be on Instagram on the bike. Well, that's true. People have gone viral for, there's this one guy who crosses the Williamsburg Bridge singing music at full volume.

you know and i think yeah i don't like that some type of deal or no he's a photographer he's also he's also a famous photographer that's what he's really sure but he's his his photos is not what's gone viral sis is him singing on the bike while holding his phone and recording him i i do sing on my bike but i don't film it i got my little speaker i'll be blaring my tunes i'll be right if you didn't film it did it happen good point but yes but isn't that beautiful that only I know it happened and the cars that are behind you that that's true and the pedestrians who don't hear me coming you have to share Josh because if people don't know that you're doing it then well I'm sharing it right now I'm begging you all to

please please know that it's real I'm real I exist yeah somebody messaged me and they were like hey you're always talking about your girlfriend but like we don't know her like we don't see her like why don't you post her and I said because that's for me I made my friends who know her have seen her and they've seen pictures i don't know you why would i but they're like but that's like hiding her why don't you just post it we want to see her and i'm like and that's exactly why i won't be posting her because why do you need to see her and they're like and we want to see her feet specifically we want to see pictures of her feet we just want to know your girlfriend and what her feet are shaped like share all of your business so we know your business

which i do i do i share all of my business yeah but they want to see the photos they're visual did you how do you how do you set some of your internal guidelines on what to share with them and whatnot or do you have them or you just sort of go on gut it's mess babe i don't know what not to i sometimes i say too much i've i've been i've been put in a corner like hey don't don't say that like you you really just cannot say that no no more or somebody will tell me on top and don't you say that on the podcast and don't you tell marie and don't don't do it and i said i'm doing all that shit you ain't telling me what to do nah you ain't saying it on the podcast all right you'll tell me but yeah why did you tell them that marie god damn are you i mean i feel like

you are public but private josh yeah but i try to get better about it and i don't even have hard rules but i try i believe a little bit in the witchcraft of like you have to keep some things for yourself like i don't have good examples because it is so vibey but you're right boyfriend i like i talk about him but i don't talk there's things where i'm like i gotta keep this for me Or just like certain experiences, you know, it's like some things you live there and you're like, I'm just not going to. Everything doesn't need to be shot on the phone and everything doesn't need to be posted that you shot. I mean, some most of us have thousands of photos on our phones and it's like it's never going to be an adult. It might end up end up in a close friends. It'll end up in a group chat.

But like everything that happens and everything that that I do, I don't feel like I need to share. You got to keep some for yourself. OK, here we go. I'm gonna make a list. um funerals should we be did you see the lady that was on tiktok who who bought a crew like a camera crew to her to her ex's funeral she had on all white she had all white stockings she's shooting content near the thing she's shooting content next to it it's sad angle she's sad she had shades on so it looked like you know she wanted us to think she was sad but it Just a lot of the comments were like, if I die and you show up to my funeral to do content, I will, I will resurrect. You heard it here first.

Marie wants a content free funeral. Content free. So, so no, no pictures, no videos at funerals. Uh, I think it depends on who died. Yeah. Whitney Houston's funeral, we watched it at my mom's house. Yeah, that I. We, we, you know, people wanted to, we wanted to watch that.

if you're not famous i don't think you need to be putting anything i think i'm with marie i think it should be the choice of the person though too like you're saying if that person's like i want a phone free funeral it's like come on give them that for phone free funeral i want a yonder pouch funeral yonder i think i'm gonna put that at my funeral at the cellar where do i write that down where i want to write that i want to yonder i want a yonder this is the record of your last will and testament hey unplug the router before funeral yeah let's see what happens yeah i want a phone free funeral i'll say it now i don't need pictures or videos of my funeral how do you feel about kids at a funeral kids are fine yeah but i guess

it's sort of like why would you put i don't know that you need to put the kid through that i mean people say no kids at my wedding and then people will still show up to this wedding like well i didn't think you met her she's your niece and it's like hey i specifically met her because i know her mom like i think uh i think hospitals i think we need to stop filming and taking pictures of people at they at they worse and then posting online and then when they die you just see their old wrinkly dry hand and then your hand on top of them and you close i don't i i'm i'm done with that lotion up that their hand if i'm gonna take a picture if i'm gonna take a picture i'll let them have some lotion yes didn't they do that with james vanderbeek when he died somebody posted

like a like a photo of him with him in the hospital and was like our last moment together and it was like an uproar in the comments and he was like his wife said i could post this oh i missed this i don't want that what about you john i don't want that you don't want that i don't want that i i don't i'd rather not exist at all i wish we could just fully have careers in the arts and never have to post anything but that's but that's not the game angelina yeah there's like old hollywood glamour in that yeah be mysterious like you should know what the inside of my house looks like exactly i'm famous there's something nice about that really i think so because you're already so forward-facing it's like isn't it sort of chicer to give them what you give them and not

give them a lot of their like that's like an old hollywood like we don't know what beyonce's house looks like i know we don't the only time we knew about it was when she was a destiny's child and they did mtv cribs and and i believe that that was rented and that was not her real house Definitely, I believe that, too. It was a stage house. I said, there's no way y'all walls look like this. There's no way. There's no way these three girls live together.

Together. And work. Can you imagine those kind of, juggling those boundaries? Yeah, because I was like, Michelle was at towards the, like, the second quarter of Destiny's Child. So it's just weird that she's already with y'all. There's no way. She proved herself. She popped up and said,

after all of the darkness and sadness and they said yeah you can move in come get your baddies chain um okay so josh we have messages so you know we'll do a little blah blah blah blah blah. And then you tell us what you think. Okay. Is Marie's age mess? I'm fairly new to the podcast and have fallen in love instantly. So much that I've decided to scroll all the way down on Apple Podcasts and start from the beginning, aka the unofficial expert days. There is a long running joke that Marie is 23 starting in 2016, but she never confirms her actual age. So I Googled it. Google literally says she's somewhere in her 30s, but has never revealed her birth year publicly. I'm loving the lore.

Fast forward to her brother on an episode. They reveal that, A, he's an actor and B, he's one year older than Marie. So I Googled his age. And once again, Google says he's somewhere between 24 and 36, but that his exact age is unknown. Wow. Now I'm just curious and I googled her sister. She turns out she's an American gladiator who also has never revealed her real age. What type of CIA program do y'all have entered to have a family full of successful celebrities whose ages are never revealed?

I love the show. Please never stop. This is mess. This is mess. Mess detective. Mess detective. This person's a mess detective. Mess detective.

Wait, I didn't know about this. American gladiator? Yes. come on on the pod before no her thing it just premiered this past week uh friday what's her american gladiator name empire well yes empire she said uh yeah so what's the track to become an american gladiator because it's not like you intern at american gladiator like what did she come from to get that like is she uh was a personal trainer for many many years and then she won some uh like figure competitions and then she became a bodybuilder which is a different type of

right uh body type and then they had an open casting call for gladiators and people were bombarding her with it and now she you know now she's a gladiator paid to push people who are weaker than her that is the job for your sister for any of them come from like oh i'm like mma fighter like a lot of people it's a mix of people it's a lot of gladiators too also fun fact they shot american gladiators in france he shot it in france that is me yeah so the person who scrolled that far yeah i'm still 23 actually so it's kind of crazy how do you feel about that josh about your age watching marie react to that because every new bit of information marie just hmm huh so you googled my brother they said what and then my sister it was all as if it was new to

you i really liked watching you watch that it is new to me that i i kept thinking to learn that you might come back with a figure yeah to learn you might be in your 30s you went i don't know about that well they said my older my older brother's between 24 and and 37 or whatever so yeah i'm 23 still yeah and people ask me all the time what's marie's age and i said i don't know she has never told me i've never heard it either i think there's something really cool about nobody knowing how old you are from a young age this is old hollywood i mean every year i have a birthday cake and it's never a candle on it yes but people be at the party like well how old is she don't don't show them the inside of your house or the year on your birth certificate they see my the

inside of my house all the time it's crazy yeah i don't know alexa demi did it she did it for a long time and she's lived multiple lives i messed up telling my age i gotta stop well now it's not on my wikipedia so i'm glad about that i don't even know if mine's on my wiki yeah how old are you josh well i guess i should say i'm 39 but what does the internet think i am becca when you google how old is josh sharp what does it say let's see if it knows hey i just heard you say that so now yeah it doesn't pop up oh wait here it goes other individuals named josh sharp oh oh popular name is that they're josh sharp that's weird but this is the correct it's the okay this is the unprompted ai overview from google i did not select that but it says based on search results

there are multiple individuals named josh sharp but the comedian and writer known for dicks the musical and the opposition with jordan kepler uh does not have a widely publicized exact birthday other individuals named josh sharp include a deceased 43 year old from 2021 and a 19 year old who passed away in 2023. Are there pics or videos of their funeral? Or did they select no phone-free funerals? There's a Facebook page of one of them.

The internet doesn't know. Between 19 and 43. Between 19 and 43. Good for you, Josh. Well, I'm Marie's older brother, after all. Okay, we have another message for you. Oh my god, this person has a photo of me. Okay, I'm screaming. Ditching the middle friend.

Inspired by your episode with Mika and cutting friends off is it mess or just living to fade out a friend if they introduced you to someone who you actually pun intended mess with i moved to la march 2020 peak pandy and didn't really have too many people out here one girl i knew from college she was roomies with one of my close friends let's call her olivia lives out here so we did the outdoor pandemic hangs here and there we were never really tight in school but i was lonely and appreciated the company The more time we started to spend together post-college, the more I realized we're fundamentally different people.

She has pretty severe main character energy. Okay, there it is back again. And can be a bit draining. For example, the last time we hung out, she didn't ask me a single question, not one. She only reaches out when she needs something, a shoulder to cry on, advice about some fuck boys, stress relief, et cetera.

But I have a tendency to hold onto people so have continued to kick it with her since moving here. a couple years ago her friend let's call him jeremy moved to la and she introduced us jeremy and i got along super well and have gotten pretty close since olivia and jeremy were much closer in college and have a deeper history and remain close though to be honest he does vent to me about her somewhat regularly well okay the answer is there we just got the answer another example she got stood up on a date brutal and she was legitimately pissed when he didn't drop everything to go over and comfort her she tends to treat him like her gay sidekick not like the

whole person he is while i see some red flags in their relationship it's not mine to meddle in so while i expect them to stay close as they are i have been feeling it's time to slowly fade my friendship with olivia out is it mess or just living to end my friendship with her while staying close to jeremy and do you have any suggestions on how to do it without making it weird since i'm sure they'll stay tight. Mesticles. Testicles. Mesticles? Mesticles. And now the fangirl praise.

I met Marie after one of her shows in London in 2024. Picture here for proof. LOL. I am in the photo. I see myself. Very blurry because I was very nervous and my screen protector was cloudy. Yuck and yuck. Went to both Why Are You Single shows in San Francisco. Wow. We also happened to be in

Tokyo at the same time. Whoa. Which just fueled my delusional parasocial friendships. Sidney, I'm sure you don't remember. These people are finding out your locations. Listen, three different cities at three different times with photographic evidence. Sidney, I'm sure you don't remember, but way back before you were a big deal, I used to DM you replying to your IG posts here and there and you would actually respond. This was in like 2016.

So I've been a longtime, longtime fan of both of you. Sidney, please replace the show you're going to do on May 6th here in L.A. I'm working on the fifth and won't make it in time to your show. I beg you, book anything on the sixth, you'll have an audience of one. And your mess to both of you is that you look that good and that's not even your thing. Like, you could just both rely on how stunning you are. But no, you're also here with quick wit and deeply funny humor. Mess.

Wow. What a sweet lady. I don't remember a time when you weren't a big thing. I don't know what this person is referencing. This person said, like, 2016, you wasn't 50. i think you were a big thing appreciate you a medium-sized thing so can you stay friends with somebody that uh introduced you definitely yeah especially if it's been years it's not like it's not like you met this fun gay guy and then dumped the other woman instantly yeah just let it let it

wane you know and it sounds start texting her less and just let it sort of you don't i don't even think you need to break up with this person you just gotta like you're on red slowly fade out it just faded out you don't have to make it a thing no that's making a thing yeah just let it it's gonna die especially in la they love to not go out of the house people be busy yeah josh what do you think what do you think i mean listen hey this girl obviously don't know about herself and the problem is because y'all not selling her so i mean a little bit the reason why she has main character energy or whatever is because y'all not calling around be like hey sis we all got stuff to do. Y'all are treating her

like the main character. She is the Pepper Ann of the friend group. She the Penny Proud. Talk about it. She's the Tommy Pickles of the friend group. Come on, keep going, don't stop. She is, hey Arnold! Y'all treating her like Arnold. These references, they're gonna give

away your age. If you keep listing cartoons from a very specific moment in the mid-90s. She is a Rick Yalvamorti. Yeah, yeah. do something really modern throw him off the scent yeah rocco he's a rocco have you like had to kind of slowly not as specific as that but i feel like all friendships sometimes you gotta ride the journey because yeah exactly they wax and wane sometimes you like

grow apart with a person and then circumstances bring you back together you got to let it be what it is you can't force it stop forcing it yeah but i really think that the the giveaway the canary in the coal mine is when he's like when this person's like and he bitches about our friend too it's like okay well then y'all are on the same page yeah yeah same page and nothing more bonding than being two people like gossiping about another person it's living it's living it's messy living uh well you know i forget i forget the book maybe it was sapiens one of those books was like saying that gossip sort of started as an evolutionary tactic we developed as you know humanoids to basically be like like imagine you're a caveman

right and you're trying to figure out who should i have as a mate to help my you know offspring have the best chance you want to be the ones gossiping like by the way just so you know thor over there stupid as hell thor can't hunt thor can't do nothing and that was your way of being like okay so i need to not fuck thor is what i'm hearing so it was like it was like an evolutionary thing animals are so much smarter than human beings because female um the female species of most animals will let the men fight and the strongest one gets to mate with her or the prettiest bird gets to mate with her you know what i mean and women are just like i don't know he has a car yeah we do it all on weird social stuff yeah bees bees are not like

that queen is like he's useless get him out of here kill him get him out and it's like yeah the colony cannot grow with this loser get him out of here and then move on yeah cannot grow with this loser get a band so a little mess maybe is you know evolutionarily speaking oh and we live by that and we're not ashamed of the mess that happens at this pod you're nothing if not advanced creatures thank you we didn't invent mess mess has been here since the big bang boom bomb boom bang and that i too was at the big bang that's how old i am tell me the big bang wasn't the first mess honestly a bunch of particles getting hot that's sizzling uh josh thank you so much for coming on the board can you tell people where they can find you and what you got coming up you

can go to instagram at cluck cluck josh sharp that's the sound of chicken makes and then josh sharp and depending on when this comes out i'll probably be doing multiple and brilliant shows wherever you live yes who's to say what they are and actually becca are we allowed to say i'm going to do a podcast on this very network that's coming out tbd when i was like that's up to you and your team okay don't you feel like we should yes i'm going to be doing a podcast on this very next network called existential i don't know when it'll come out maybe late in the summer maybe early fall but once you see that drop you'll probably be fed ads here at the mess cinematic universe and you're going to go over and click subscribe and follow and like just as you do here in this

community thank you josh we will thank you i will be following you a blessing a blessing to be here with you two icons with you two ageless icons brick your phones but not your hearts our hearts have no brick on it we will be get bricked up for you josh thank you my the last word of the take your time take your time take your time thank you all uh keep keep subscribing on youtube and giving us amazing reviews and comments. We love you. Bye. Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin

is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messwithpodcasts at gmail.com

or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.