MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Broadway Gays w/ Meka Mo

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by comedian Meka Mo! The three chat husband MESS friend MESS, Apple MESS, and more. Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description oh you're listening to mess hey okay you know the hair we're here we're airing today the hair is good i'm upset yes you're giving 90s fine i do feel very 90s i feel like i'm in a girl R&B group, for sure. I'm so into you. Or no, T-Boz. Or Jade. Don't walk away,

boy. You know, I wanted the mushroom to mushroom a little bit more, so next time you see me, it will be a different hairstyle. Okay. And that's the beautiful thing about being a Black woman. Switch it up. It's Women's History Month now.

It is. It is. This style will be history next time you see me. Oh my God. i just want it to be a little bit longer i want it to you know so uh that's it that's all you know you when you know what you want you got the vision in your head and then you go get your hair done hairdressers kind of just do whatever they want they'd be like well this is what's on my heart and that's not what i'm paying for this is what i prepared for your heart i love your heart where that's cute for you not for me right right right so i mean listen we pay too much money to

not get what we want and so girl go back there get the style you want you deserve yes um i'm so excited to bring in our guest yeah yeah yeah yeah we got mika mo hey an amazing comedian hey mika rising to the top trying no doing doing say it i'm doing it out there i'm doing it yes yes as many people who are unqualified taking titles they don't know what they're doing that's true say what you what you're doing i'm doing it yes even if you're not doing it say what you want to do that's true you know what i mean that is true oh sydney what else is going on friend My mess is not my mess. It's a mess that I saw on the TT. And basically it was a woman who's like, I own my own business. I own Chick-fil-A. And she's like, I needed some things done in the restaurant. And my husband works for me. So my husband called the contractor to come in and do whatever they need to do. Contractor comes, sees the wife and says, yeah, I'm here to do that. But I need to speak to the to the owner before I do whatever I do. And the wife is like, this is this is this is I own this business. I am. I am the boss. B.O.S.S. And the contractor was like, no, no, no. I spoke to a man. So I'm gonna need him to verify.

and she said that's crazy because he has to answer to me and so he's like well I'm just going to call the number that called me and I'll find out and then he calls the husband and the husband says yeah the the owner is is my wife and I I work for her and then the contractor mouth wide open closes it hangs up and he's like well yeah yeah well I could get to work now and she said, you could have got to work, but I'm going to get work done by somebody else. So have a good day. Be blessed. Yeah. Don't miss that bus. There we go. Oh, you just missed your bus. Oh man. The door's wide open. Get out. And so, yeah, it's crazy that even in 2026, people just don't believe women can own things, be bosses, be managers. I don't understand what he needed to talk to

a husband about yeah that's crazy he said i spoke to a man and that's that obviously must be but he knew what he was hired to do so why did he need to speak to him again to reiterate i don't know it's just it was just a male or misogyny that's what it was misogyny sexism all of that stuff even though the the name of the the manager is a woman's name it was like shakir or shatir or something like that he can't read he can't read it usually is that way he can't read and now he can't eat because the check that he was going to get from the lady. Yeah, she said it was a big

job. She was ready to make it rain and now she closed her pocketbook. Yeah, he was going to fix the Frosty machine. No, I don't think so. I don't know. It's homophobic. Yeah, they're anti-gay. I've had Chick-fil-A with Sidney before.

Sidney's gay ass. He's eating Chick-fil-A. I have the waffle fries. That's what I have. You have the chicken sandwich. girl when have i had a chicken you had the chicken nuggets we meet you and uh becca split like a 60 piece bite wow 60 pieces during women's history month of course marie would once again throw me under the under the chick-fil-a bus you need to remember your history no and the fact of the matter is that he was at chick-fil-a no that's marie's mess i don't know if you know this

every time it's time to pull out receipts like we had bravo you know real housewives of atlanta you know what do they do reunion you love pulling out the book people don't know that talking about people know you eat taco bell they know you eat they know you eat mcdonald's sausage mcgriddle or whatever the hell listen i uplift my sis all the time she sometimes you'd be like i'm here for the mess sis i am working on a podcast called mess always is for the mess yes but we should be in unity at times no that mess we should always agree all the time no no and we don't but we had a guest here and he said oh uh all my exes look like him because he said he looks like a lesbian and i said they don't they simply don't and marie

was like they do look like you and i said why would you lie on them like that and somebody wrote in the comments is marie capping for a straight man is that the day other people said no Marie is just being a good producer by producing more mess I disagree I disagree that must have been a DM that was right on the YouTube sprint

sometimes the mess is already there on the table you don't have to verify you don't have to cap for the mess it's there there's no cap this cap is lying I'm telling the truth it's over there no Mika I don't want to pick a side

I like the tea yes okay that's good to know where y'all lie with sisterhood i would lock you on the stand you would never know on the podcast you would literally never know what's your mess this week um my mess is i don't know what i've been paying apple 9.99 a month for or but none of us i i don't have no storage left on my phone none of us so every time i go to take a photo i gotta delete 17 videos before a night out and it's like but i'm still what is this cloud payment that's coming what what am i paying for we have no idea nobody knows nobody knows what it's for yeah yeah every month like that's mess like i bought this phone it got i

don't know how many gigs how many 260 gigs or whatever the hell it was and they said you've used 256 okay so that means i got four gigs left you know why do i need to delete things how many photos you got how many videos got pull it out everybody check out how many photos and videos they got now let you know how much storage you got i mean most of my thing most of my stuff is photo and video okay how do i check how do i check that there should be like a number yeah oh at the bottom i didn't know you worked in tech come on she's the genius bar mika in tech yeah we love that it tells you over here like the numbers oh no like well it should be in like the bottom of your album yeah oh bottom of my album go to an album but if yours is all organized you know

what i mean i got like a um uh over a hundred thousand uh photos wow that's crazy yeah you can't delete those you know because i i actually like to have the memories and whenever i need to use them for, you know, a slideshow or receipt. Or, you know, I love pulling it out in group chats like, oh, you said you were here on this date? No, bitch, I have a date and this is where we were at.

How many years does this 100,000 pics go back? Oh, honey. Photos go back to before our friendship. Yeah, definitely. How many gigs do you have? Well, this is the, you know, this is the 17 baby. Right, but how many gigs is that? You might be paying $24.99 a month.

I don't know. I don't have any storage on my laptop. Apparently I'm paying more for iCloud. Yeah, it's all fucked up. It's expensive. Steve Jobs is here to rob us in his death.

I was going to say, well, he's not here. He's not here. Who's the new guy? Tim Apple? Tim Apple. Tim Cook? I don't know. Somebody called him Apple. Trump called him Tim Apple.

he said yeah we got tim apple here a great guy we we have to go to the store that is we just got to go to the store we have to you know schedule it in make an appointment and be like hey fix this fix the lock yeah fix the lock you need a new door yeah no fix the lock you try to cheat me you try to cheat me that's what i'll say i'll go up there to the genius bar i say y'all judge and cheat me i just erased stuff you erased stuff yeah is it easy for you to erase stuff um if it's over 10 years the jig is up but when we were doing the 2016 challenge i had to go back i had to i had to go back to facebook okay see yeah a lot of us don't want to go we do not we don't need to see facebook i don't see how many photos i have i feel like i don't think you do the

update and we hate doing the update i don't have enough storage for the update oh that too yeah you ain't got the update then it might be a little different no i've seen it i've seen it before i just don't know how to access it now sis we'll put in the dump make sure you have it when we find it afterwards make sure you update it you know how many photos you know what's mess is every time we say we're gonna put it in a dump we don't post a dump i know we got to do better every time we say we'll put it in the dump we got no dump to be found we're gonna we're gonna figure it out We're going to get it going. Girl.

Well, Mika, you're good at deleting photos, but you're also good at... Deleting friends, yes. Ooh, that's your mess, huh? Delete, yes. Is that your mess? That is my mess, because I got contacted by a friend

that I deleted a year ago, and she had the audacity to reach back out recently. Well, it was a good reason why she reached out. Maybe I'm being messy. We had... We'll be the judges. Yes, yes, yes. We had a third-party friend that passed away.

Very, very sad, right? Very sad. a third party friend yes was it Steve Jobs it wasn't Steve Jobs but he was a pilot very sad we love him whatever he was a pilot yeah yeah yeah so he passed away so she reached out like oh I just

want to reach out in this time but here's the thing I stopped talking to her after her wedding because she made us all go to this obscure place called Lyon France and keep in mind she's from Brooklyn oh I've been to Lyon you have been to Lyon have you been I've never been to Lyon I wasn't trying to go

and that's why you platinum you platinum medallion cause you everywhere oh you platinum I'm trying to get this I'm trying to get the medallion platinum yes

I'm trying to get medallion my album is also platinum yeah she made us go to this obscure French town nobody's French like she's from Brooklyn

her husband now he's not French so we all go there what she don't tell us is the reception is an hour away in this obscure French town so we go to this French town

there's no ubers nothing we all show up she didn't give no information she secured a ride for her family but not for her friends okay she should have provided some shuttles something yeah something but she's she's infamously cheap so she's just a cheap person which i already knew i already knew that is it cheap to get married in france than it is to get married in brooklyn you know what it was she wasn't paying for i don't know whatever she's selectively cheap it's true because she is bougie but she's also cheap selectively cheap yeah she's selectively cheap then she was staying in this villa that we all stayed in but the door locked after 11 and keep in mind we all trying to kiki carrie have a good time in this horrible little town and she's like y'all gotta be back by 11

like do all this crazy stuff and we didn't know that the first night we was there so so y'all didn't have an itinerary you didn't have it no she gave us like this is the wedding this is the reception this is the but did you read i didn't read it no information was provided did you read it on the flight yeah did you read it in the uber that happened okay so i have so luckily i had another friend there who's a lawyer who read everything so she kind of told us the tea on our way she's like listen girl the reception's an hour away on your way is that no no that's not the time to know you need to know that i wasn't really paying attention what i'm hearing is you actually did not read i read it when i was going there right after you went through security

i read it selectively but here's the thing we couldn't get in her little villa past a certain So we was locked out. I stayed in somebody else's. Whatever. Whatever. We did the wedding thing. We had fun. The last night, we were coordinating with her because only her and her husband had the key to the stupid villa that we were all staying at.

Wait a minute. Wait. I need to know how many guests. How many guests were? So about 25 of us flew in. And then she had her family there. Their family was about 50. So it was like 75 guests.

And they only had two keys. They had two keys for a big ass villa. In the middle of France that nobody cares about. what are y'all our parents i got a curfew exactly exactly that's what i'm paying for yeah yeah so this is and i had to pay a lot of money for that room in that french villa i crossed the ocean for this wedding and you telling me i can't get no international peen while i'm out here because i got a curfew yes yes that's what she said you got to keep your eyes on the prize you're here for the wedding you can't be having no side quests the whole

point of going to a destination wedding is the side quest. Isn't that so? I disagree. Every time you do a side quest, y'all don't know how to keep it cute there at the, keep it on the side. Now you come fucked up. You, oh, can I just bring, you know,

he in my room. I'm sorry, girl. Like, oh, nobody, you don't need to see the light of day. It's night for you. For you, but some of these girls are messy. I wasn't bringing those French men. Who is bringing somebody to a wedding unannounced at a destination check check the tt every day somebody's talking about i'm no longer her friend because you know my my maid of honor was somehow brought somebody to the wedding she wasn't

supposed to her kid oh well the kid thing yes that's different yeah there was some unwanted kids there but that's a different story um i will say so we we so one night we was out whatever we jumped the gate right because like she wasn't there and like she said she was coming at a certain hours she wasn't there she was still like now you're breaking in and entering we jump the gate that's what we do and then she got mad that we jumped the gate and i'm like girl i need class list i need to go i need to go home you guys were all gonna be out what did you guys all go out together or was it we all well we were all planning to go out together but she needed a reprieve so her and her husband went to their own separate dinner like away from us and then me and a bunch

of other people needed to get back into the villa she wasn't there she said she was gonna be there we cut the dinner short to meet her at the time she was gonna be there keep in mind they was run a really strict program with the keys because they wasn't coming back downstairs after they went there's like there was a lot of rules why didn't you put it under the under the rug i mean it was like a weird gate give the key to one of the people that was gonna be i have no idea but we jumped the gate and then they cursed us out for jumping the gate okay um so i was fine with all that i was like you know i cursed her out a little bit who cursed y'all out oh um her husband and where were they when y'all jumped the gate oh so they wasn't there okay that's true that's true

so i was like i was like i was like in the midst of like you know writing her a long about to curse her out but then i dialed it back because it was her wedding right right and i was like you know what it's fine we're under the bridge but then you know how we have our little shows and stuff like that i was like come to my special tape i was doing a taping near a comedy festival something like that i was like come to my taping whatever i was like it's a big deal my friends are coming no this is after the wedding this is after the wedding months after the wedding she got married september new york comedy festival is is in november i was doing a special taping my first 30 minutes taping i was really excited yeah and all my friends were there to support me

everybody came out never responded to my texts never responded to my texts then had the nerve to contact me three weeks later like do you have any photos from the wedding oh girl we ain't never talking again we ain't never talking so i blocked her across i first of all i left every chat she was in i blocked her across all platforms but you know when you block somebody on your iphone they can still come in on your laptop they can't fix that what is up with that they didn't go to your settings on your laptop well they're supposed to be smarter than that this is what we're paying for higher intelligence they need to link if i'm blocking it on my phone block it on all all platforms it comes to on my phone and it comes to on my laptop and i've locked it on one you know i

don't want to talk to this i'm not trying to type two-handed but anyway so yeah that was done and then she reaches out randomly like oh it's such a tough time would love to reconnect and get together so you didn't message you didn't respond after she asked you for the wedding pics no yeah she was done so when you were gonna cut her off you didn't say like let's have this talk she's done okay just cut it yeah yeah okay i just got her okay because some things don't need to be explain yeah i was like we and then my one friend was like why did you leave the chat she's like y'all had an argument i was like oh i didn't have an argument with her we're just done she's like okay why are you quitting that's what she did i quite quit her okay yeah sometimes i get that

everything sometimes yes you you need to talk things out just so you can feel like you're being heard or this is a friendship that you're trying to salvage we'll talk but if it's like we see how you you're moving and you've messaged her about your taping she didn't even hit it with a thumbs up nothing or heart ignore or exclamation mark just ignored or a haha nothing now how long were y'all friends for a decade a day that's why i flew to france for her wedding was very important yeah but i mean you have to realize that she probably showed signs that she was selfish oh yeah no i mean she's always been cheap i said selfish you said cheap well she always been like cheap like real cheap though like

she counting pennies cheap but that was it outside of that she was like cool peoples but i realized at that wedding she had no care for her guests like she did not care for us at all and then she's like i'm so happy you guys came i really wanted a dance party then i realized she only invited her girlfriends to have a dance party what do you mean what does that mean like at the reception she really wanted a dance party and she knew that wasn't going to happen like if we didn't fly from new york to dance with her on her wedding that's the only reason why she invited us. We were just there

for the dance. She wanted... What? A dance party. She should have sold tickets in Lyon. She wanted like the, you know,

the fun-loving girls that be like, you know, never leave the dance floor. She wanted us all there. So she sounded like she should have paid y'all because it seemed like

it was a job. We was doing a service. It was a job. Yeah. Background extras. Exactly. Something. But that's the only reason

why she invited us. I'm just like, you know what? She don't really have that many good friends. Like, it was hard for her to scrounge up friends

for the bachelorette party. Not scratch. It was. For the bachelorette party, it was really difficult for her. How many girls was in the party? The bachelorette.

Yeah. So, not many. So, what happened was one of our good friends ended up getting some of her friends. So, she didn't have any good friends. Wait a minute.

No, no, no, no, no. It was like a friend of a friend kind of thing. It was like more like, and I'm like, why you ain't had no friends? Like, you've been a city girl for a really long time, mama.

Where your people's at? They all left her because she's Yeah, I kind of side-eye people who live in the city and don't have very many friends. Because this is a big city. There's 13 million people here on a daily basis. Or something like that.

People are crazy. People are crazy. And the older you get, the more you're like, you need to cut it. Sometimes you just be keeping people around for the photos and for the events. And then at the end of the day, you're like, are we really that cool?

I mean, I don't need... It just comes to the point where i can't text all these people happy birthday it's too many they don't even care about the happy birthday you send them a whole paragraph they don't even acknowledge it until like two weeks later you tell them how much you love them they don't care so it's just like it's not i i'm gonna i'm gonna cut in right here if i may oh yes if i may absolutely texting someone on their birthday and them not responding to you doesn't mean that they don't want to talk to you that's the day that they get in the most texts that they've

ever gotten in their year. So if, you know, you can respond to some, some people are calling you. That's why I like to call people on their birthday. Hey, happy birthday. Oh, you gotta go? Okay, bye. That's true. You don't even have to talk for the rest of the year. I feel like that's the

one day where like people's phones are getting blown up. Like, I'm not going to be able to text everybody back. Maybe I'll hit it with a thumbs up. Allegedly, but the same day that you're like, you're so busy, you're getting all these texts They'll be the same people that be like, such and such didn't hit me up. I haven't heard from them.

So you can get all the texts and be like, oh, I can't write back. But you remember the one person that didn't hit you up? That is true. Yes, because why did that one person not hit me up? You know who I haven't heard from? My landlord. She didn't text me for my birthday. Right, right.

What did Lady Gaga say? It could be a million, a hundred people in a room. Yeah, all it takes is one. All it takes is one person to not like you? I don't even know. A mean person. It depends on the person. One person.

That person. So you, but you weren't thinking about this before you went to her wedding. No, like we were friends. Like it was I like you know Like it's an expensive trip To go out there And then I made the rule

No more destination weddings But that's after the fact But I was like Yeah I'm gonna go To her wedding And like she was A really good friend Like very important to me

We used to hang out All the time Very cheap But Yo Yo what is she Do you need A set of Venmo requests

She's so cheap One time Oh wait Do you need A set of Venmo requests No because Is she on a budget Maybe she's on a budget

So she's an actress So I guess she's on A little budget she want a fixed income that man she was with he had coins but that's not her coin and she had a rent stabilized apartment whatever it's not like you counted her

coins I'm not counting her coins she was just very cheap here's the thing I rented out a house in the pandemic and I knew she was poor so I gave her this might be you friend no no I gave her a discount I used to pay for her like I was like oh she ain't got coins

let me like you know subsidize You taking tally now, friend. You tallying it up. Well, sis, tell us how much you subsidize and what you subsidize. Let me get the friendship calculator out. Because it feels like she owe you. You need to send her an invoice.

No, no, she don't owe me, but I did subsidize a few of her allies. Because I know she was broke. But when we all used to go out with her, we used to be... She's poor, broke, cheap. We brought cash with us because she would try to be like,

well, I have the asparagus. And she's one of those people that don't eat anything. So it was like... So now she got an eating disorder. what's up well I had the asparagus I'm nominating that

for the title of the episode well I had the asparagus I had the asparagus I put in seven dollars like that type of person which is fine which is fine she was always cheap

I just didn't know she was this careless like I didn't know she didn't care like I was going to France and then we had to travel and this like so this was the first time

you realized that she is like like she don't give a fuck about me selfish yeah yeah very selfish I didn't realize it before I mean, there were signs, but I wasn't thinking about it.

You didn't know that's how people get down for their weddings? I mean, I've had... Here's the thing. People be taking care of me on their weddings. Like, my friends are well... Like, usually when I'm... Especially a destination wedding is usually well-planned. If it's not, at least we all know.

They give you all the information straight up. Like, listen, girl. We ain't got no shuttle for you. We ain't got... You just know what you're getting yourself into. She provided no information. It was a show up in this obscure town in France on this date. and we have arranged nothing for you well did they have a wedding planner because it's not like

they just she didn't have a wedding planner but i guess they were french so maybe they were like oh you know french people don't give a damn yeah they don't give a goddamn but what i noticed was she arranged things for her family as she should right but think about the people that are traveling very very far away to also come out to your wedding and then it was the last straw when she just didn't apply like just didn't respond to my message about a show that was really important to me. I was like, you don't give a fuck

about me at all. Like, you just don't care about me. Yeah, she's dead to us. Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry that your friend passed away, but it's just two friends. Oh, yeah, so that's why

the catalyst was her that texted me. Two friends that passed away now, too. Yeah, yeah, two friends, yeah. He was actually a really great friend. Many of them. He was a pilot.

Love that. He was a pilot. Hey, that's another thing. He was flying us for free. That's what I like about him. Well, $150. But still, that he was a great friend.

That's what I like about him. Not like that. No, I liked him before that, but that was creepy. Bro, you can't call that lady cheap and broke and poor and then be like, he was flying us for free.

Well, $150. He was a good friend. He was a good friend. He was a great friend. He was one of the good ones. He was. I mean, Amika,

what do you value now in friendships after having a breakup like that? Um, I just want someone to care. Like, I want to care. Like,

I... More value. I didn't really think about it that much, but I was like, at least care about me and, like, what I got going on. Like,

I'll rearrange my schedule for, you know, the things I had to cancel to go to her wedding in France. How many days was the wedding? So the wedding was about three days and then you got to get to France. So it was like,

basically you're taking out a week out of your life to dedicate to someone who's very important to you and she didn't care. She just wanted to stay for the dance party. So do you have any other friends

that you would actually travel for? Like destination wedding? Oh, so we're done with destination wedding. No, no, no. You only took one? No, no. I've been doing,

for some, my friends are really, really rude. I think, i don't think anyone has ever gotten married in new york i don't i can't that's crazy i've been to some beautiful weddings in new york beer garden you walk in you're like is there a destination that you like so you're saying you're never gonna do it again but if somebody had it in like what's your dream destination i don't know maybe like somewhere

in like Kenya or something. I would go to Nigeria. I would go to Africa. Okay, so you would go to an African wedding. I would go to an African wedding. Because you know they're going to do it right.

They're going to do it right. I'm not missing the African wedding. Yeah, the ring bearer is going to be a giraffe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be like a two-week situation too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would do an African wedding. I would do an Indian wedding. I guess I would do like for... Maybe I'll do a Chinese wedding too. Girl, you're doing

all the lavish ones. You're doing crazy rich weddings. Yeah, very cultural rich weddings. Yeah, that's just... you have to do cultural ritualities but if you get married

in Mexico see you when you get back wait no that's rude because I went to one in Cancun and it was all inclusive and it was cute

like I didn't really have much to worry about and then we went to like the club and everything was done on the premises and we

really didn't have a hard time at all no I'm not sure all inclusive is cute all inclusive is cute girl you walking back bye bye no I'm not going no more

Mika it feels like I'm not going no more Mika I don't wanna i don't know if this is mess but it seems like you really want to be taken care of not like that but at least show that you care because i'm very nice to my friends like i always make sure that i like if i'm inviting my friends somewhere they have all the information like i'm very meticulous about like how they're getting here how they're getting there that's how i do so you send in a

detailed um like itinerary oh a very detailed are you a virgo no oh no i'm a cancer um cancer okay Yeah, but I'm a Capricorn move? But anyway, I don't know. Capricorn, yeah. The Capricorn is a little, you know, whatever. But no, it's very detailed. Like, very detailed.

And she's been on one of my trips before. I planned a bachelorette party at Oktoberfest with one of my good friends. And it was like, I took care of everyone. I made sure everyone knew where they were staying.

I made sure all the days were, like, planned very well. I made sure I subsidized her then, too, because she also didn't have coins for that. You know? Well, who are you subsidizing in 2026? I'm not subsidizing. It was just her broke self for, you know, the last decade or so.

The last decade or so. Mika, it seems like you haven't let this go. I feel the emotion. Should we call her? Yeah. It sounds like you need to. Hello, is this the broke friend? Get some closure from this.

Maybe we didn't have any closure, but I'm done with her. Because you closed the door, sis. Yeah, I did close the door. Maybe you should open up and just say, hey, I don't foresee us moving forward, but I just, I need to get this off my chest so that I can actually, you know, be free of this. She probably going to see this podcast. Okay, she probably follow us.

Girl, you messed it. Hey, you messed it. If you wanted to say a message to her, you need it right there. You need it right there. Listen, girl, you a mess. And he was broke all those years. Girl, that's going to be the clip.

That's what you want the clip to be. No, no. I'm just saying, like, if you could say something to her sincerely, like, what would you say? I would say I'm shocked that you were so careless with my time. I was really, really a good friend to you. And I'm shocked that you basically, when I reached out to you, you basically ignored me and didn't prioritize me as a person.

So you don't care about me. So that's why we stopped talking. So don't reach out. It's done. I wish you well. And that's why we don't care about you. You're done. You're a mess.

Okay. It's done. It's done. done but you do know that when someone is getting married like it isn't all about their friends anymore no no most definitely i definitely know that but that's why i forgave her for like the whole gate gate the gate i'm mad about the hop in the gate and all that the gate drama was like that was like really crazy and they were so mad that we hopped the gate they're like did you break the gate it's like we didn't break the gate like the gate is fine like i'm still upset about gate

gate the gate because what if i have a bad core and i can't jump over the the wall or whatever exactly why are you so mad and you lied about when you was coming back or not that you lied but you miscalculated like and the thing about this she had this whole speech about if you communicate with me what time you're coming back it will work out and that's why i was really pissed off because i was communicating with them and they were so late to open the gate how late were they opening the gate an hour oh yeah that's not miscalculating that's that's legit just not given a damn, especially if they knew they both had the keys. Yes. One of them

should have given up a key. I don't know why they knew. You know how crazy it is. They're not in Paris. They're in Lyon. Yeah, yeah. I walked to the city in a day. In a day? In one day. Okay. Well, I'm not well-traveled.

There's absolutely no reason why they should have been in our day. But it's also their one job. The event is them. Let us in to our quarters. And it was like a weird house things it was quarters no no i and i was in the slave quarters i forgot to tell you all that i'm so glad that black history month is done because of what i wasn't so what i don't know they had you in the cellar yes i was in the cellar so i had to go into the back and that's like i had

to walk through a garage are these people oh no one of them is white the other one's black well which one is white um the white one is the husband okay the other girl is the black it'd be your own people now where where was his family lived uh they were in the house the full house but she was her family so i appreciate that were you the only friend in the cellar i was only friend in the slave quarters yes you said get the title right because that's what it was that's what it was i was in the slave quarters yeah and you had to pay the same amount as everybody else i don't know i don't know about that but it wasn't cheap it was like expensive to stay there it was europe in the summer it was very expensive tons of money

but it seems like you also care about prices because you keep talking about weddings are expensive you gotta have your money right you know in a year in advance that a wedding is coming if anything she should have subsidized your housing for the wedding because you've been paying for her all these years

that is true well weddings are already stressful as hell and they're expensive and you gotta buy an ugly dress were you part of the wedding party oh she didn't have a wedding party no that was good yeah that was good she's not that thoughtless no no no that's very thoughtful yeah she didn't have

a part that was yeah yeah yeah so he didn't have no groomsmen no no no no and his friend yeah i mean his friends were all married like it wasn't a big deal it wasn't like that she wanted her friends in town because we were the fun fun ones yeah now is this your first chopping of friendships no i try people all the time oh okay can we get another a little bit more about that so i actually so i was you know what it was i was reading my horoscope and like i guess that year not this year but like the year before i was on a like basically we were chopping people like that was my horoscope like dead weight year wasn't it i was getting dead weight so i actually broke up with tons well two other friends so i broke up with one friend because they were islamophobic

so we had to get rid of them and then she was like uh it's rude that well she's she's a jewish woman and she she was being islamophobic and i was like you're being islamophobic and then she started being borderline racist like to you to like not to she was we like text every day right we're in the group chat but she was started sending like propaganda like like dei should be eliminated she's like di should be eliminated jewish women are included and she's uh a white woman in entertainment i was like your whole life is dei honey you don't have a career without d and so what are you talking about wait what she said white women are not included she said jewish jewish people aren't included in di so it should be eliminated i was like but you're a white woman

and you work in entertainment, your whole career is DEI. What are you talking about? Her life is DEI. Her life is DEI. I was like, girl, you the DEI. Now, wait, is this your friend? It says you only like tech.

So we, no, no, no. We were like friends. Like, this is my homegirl. But she got radicalized in the pandemic. I don't know what happened to her. You know what happened? We in the pandemic. We got Wi-Fi 24-7.

No, that's what happened. And we're not going out. You're going to go down some loopholes. You're going to be on Reddit. You're going to be in these YouTube groups. We're all living the pandemic and not all of us got radicalized.

Not all of us. The people who got radicalized, we all side-eyeing them because duh. Yeah, she was always a little like, she was always like, I'm moderate kind of thing.

She was always like saying something silly. And I was like, girl, you better vote for so-and-so. Like, I always have to like pressure her. So she was always on the edge. We always looked at her

kind of side-eye. But then she started saying all these Islamic-phobic things and then she got racist and then she made that comment. And I was like, girl. She didn't post the black square? She did not post the black square.

well thank thank goodness she did not post a black square she was she so i had to read her we had to have a talk during that time period because she was on the all lives man they had to talk about her like girl it's not all lives it's black lives so we had to talk about that she's like and then she started telling other white people about like mika told me this very important information so like we let her slide for a few years i'm guessing she didn't read white fragility she didn't read white fragility but then i don't know like a year or two ago she just started acting crazy so she had to get chopped okay just for being a problematic white woman yeah yeah that's fair that's fair that was a fair job and then i chopped the gay bestie

oh no yeah listen girl anybody could get it you know you are not discriminating she said empty in a clip mama another one thank you i chopped him because like i don't know what happened he was on an olympic journey he got a little skinny and then he started hanging out with these problematic gays. Like, um, yeah. And, like, he was always, like, he was always, like, down with the queer community.

But then he started hanging out with these circuit gays. And, like, you could tell, like, they were the type of gays that don't really like women like that. Oh, yeah. And he started going to the parties. And this act of real crazy,

act of real... Could it be drugs? I don't want to assume. I don't know if he's a druggish person, but maybe. Well, I was in the circuit. Okay. And I don't want to project.

But a lot of it is drugs. No, that's true. A lot of it is drugs. that is true that is true to be in these spaces I could not imagine being sober

because it's it's a lot okay it is it's a lot I gotta be but I don't want to put that on your friend

I don't know it sounds like you put it a little bit on me you know what I was involved you said I was there and they was doing drugs I'm glad I ran into your friend

matter of fact he was there with the pipe no I was thinking about Tina you know the gay boys that do Tina Chris Amell sorry I don't know

yes Tina I like how you so you do know so you do know about this I know I know

I know I know I know the team she said you know she know you said Tina

was at the wedding sis okay but I don't think I don't know that's why y'all got over the fences I don't know per se what he was doing

or what he was not doing I just know he was being careless about friendship because I was going on my way to like make all these plans with him like constantly

like I was always the one making the plans which is kind of annoying yeah it might be you though because you're you're a type a person right and what you do for others you can you can assume that they're going to do that for you especially if they're a type b person adhd yes anxious all that stuff

running late yeah like they're just trying to get themselves to the venue they're not thinking about anybody else no no i get that so for a lot of my friends i am the person that's playing everything because that's me but are they saying hey mika can you do it or you're volunteering i'm just like I've always This has been our friendship For a very long time So I'm always like We're doing this

We're doing that But I wanted a little bit Of effort on his part So I was like They get like Cheap Broadway tickets right And I don't know What play was it

With the lady from Pussycat Dolls Don't you Nicole The one that we were Supposed to go to Yeah yeah What movie was that

It was like a black and white Cabaret No No no no Damn something Sunset Boulevard Sunset Boulevard I said boardwalk

But boulevard You know what I mean Yeah yeah yeah She was right So I was like oh we gotta go see so i was like oh i really want to go see sunset boulevard because i know they're always getting tickets i was like make sure we go see sunset boulevard i was like the only thing i want and keep in mind i plan everything all the time it's fine that was the only thing i wanted

and they're like okay we're gonna get the tickets so while i'm on instagram stories i see him with the other gays uh with their little uh you know broadway bulleted at sunset boulevard uh-huh and i'm like where was the invite honey but you're not in the you're not in the group i know but we have our own group we have our own group chat like this was like so how how soon after you asked to see the play did you see them with the playbill uh it was about three weeks later so i was like hey when you go like like yeah get the tickets like i was like basically saying the coordinate things and he locked me out of it i was like are you crazy because maybe somebody else invited him you know what i mean like no it's those two with the broadway tickets they always got the broadway

tickets those broadway games okay broadway games might be the title of the episode just a little bit just a little bit tickets he basically like just like left me out of it which was and my thing is it was like the last straw he'd been leaving me out of a lot of things i was like you got your little ozempic you got your little uh circuit gay friends that you forgot where you came from whatever so i was done with him so he got chopped mika i i feel like you got a book of like everybody's things that they've done I'm a cancer

who else has wrong juices you have a list and by the list you how much they pay for stuff how many weeks pass how many events how many things you bought for them I'm a cancer so we're very petty people we're petty people

I don't know now I know this is what cancers do we do I mean we do we're very nice but we are watching yeah and the big brother energy you don't think that comes off like like you know what i mean because people like you obviously you mean well your heart is in a good place but because you're always doing things and you're taking you know score of the things that you do you expect reciprocation and maybe that's not how people and that's that's fine i will say but it's been a long it's been like years of

this behavior so I was like you gotta go I was like you gotta go and then he came copping please like they had the other Broadway gay came up to me and was like you know sometimes and they brought up the thing like you do play a lot of things some people are like different and then another gay went up to him

and was like you need to reach out to Mika so you guys can reconcile never reached out because he doesn't care does that make any sense? He don't care yeah I feel like you gotta you have to listen to the quiet stuff right because it's very loud because it's loud it's loud right but i i want to put this out here and this is i don't know if this is going to shake the table this little table

right here people who plan a lot they plan but then they they miss the mark with the fun because they're so caught up with the planning and organizing getting thing in order so i but i know that you're fun i know but you're not planning anything with us you're just showing up and being your full self so i'm wondering in these groups because you're so type a and you're so we doing da da da da da i do i really want to break do if you're not planning do i really need you in the mix so i will say so i will say no no shade no shade what fun is there to be had at a broadway show we sitting in the dark watching and from what i said what i heard there was no set design oh yeah it was no more black yeah it was just gray and some fog it was i i will say i'm

very good at planning to have fun like i'm very good like oh we're doing have fun i do i'm really good at it i will say and everyone comes to my you know things i plan because they know it's going to be a very very good time well it sounds or it's not you gotta invite us to the next thing yeah because you've never invited us so well i will yeah but no i i plan to have fun so my friends know that everything's gonna be fun like i usually plan all the outings because like i literally planned i was like we're gonna do this crazy thing and you guys gonna come with what's the crazy thing since escape room no no not like that just like elaborate trips like uh when it comes down to renting houses uh when we're doing group trips and stuff like that or like if we're

having a night out yeah like dinners parties like going away parties if there's like a big event like my one friend left the city um for after 10 years like i planned out the whole three days i coordinated the 45 people it was a 45 people yeah it was a tight run ship but it was planned like very very well because i planned it but you know what you sound like you sound like somebody who's like so we're gonna have sex on thursday at 11 o'clock and then by 11 30 no i need to clarify i was i was an event planner in my former life so why didn't you start and start with that we need the background no no i was i was a fundraising event planner like i've done that so i can get your shit this is actually a skill of mine it's clear that i give to my friends and

i was like we're gonna do this we're going so i usually plan the thing unless i encounter a virgo friend and then they usually take it yeah over yeah and i'm like okay whatever i'm not involved yes i'm just gonna let them do i think you need to meet more virgos friend i know they're crazy so i like no they are too they're too late they're the ones that are like no they're too i think they're putting up a mirror for your cancer ass yeah okay i have i have two very good vertical friends and one of them always hijacks she was like i'll be like we should do this i was like i'm playing she takes over like it's done she already planned it which i love but girl come on you might need to take a seat you know you might need to take a seat well to

be fair she let her friend plan that wedding and that friend didn't really do it right right And you said if you would have did it. I could have assisted her. She didn't ask for no help, no nothing. Everybody was mad. I was the only one mad. I could have really helped her out. So she didn't have a maid of honor?

No. That was dumb. Maybe that's where she lacked. Yeah, she could have somebody. I don't know. I don't think. I actually am. I think at a certain age, you can't have a maid of honor.

I think a maid of honor is from 25 to maybe 32. okay and after 32 it's like yeah girl i'm tired i'm not i'm not doing this unpaid work i'm not taking over 10 to 12 other bitches on an email and then we got a text and then these girls might not have the money or they might not feel that way i don't want to have to be dealing with all of that if we're over 32 the girls got the money but sometimes but some don't some don't some don't but also some are absent-minded some people are bad at responding to emails some people are you know i mean life gets in the way it does but in in your 20s we're like it's a wedding we all in we're gonna be about it we love you we're ready heroes are also absent-minded

they don't have the funds but they make it work though and their heart is and they're like i really do value our friendship after after a certain age i've gone to the to the weddings and people have gone to so many weddings it's like by the time you go to your fifth wedding it's like i now you asking for a lot all the shit that you've done when you were like 23 at a wedding you're not doing that shit at 40 i'm telling you now it's like hey make me a guess i don't want to be i don't need to be i don't want to be i know the food is going to be whack i'm eating before we've never been to a wedding that had good food I don't think that's true

we were at a wedding that had good food wow Zach's wedding had good food yes no that was great I'm like girl those were cool people but also you could tell they wasn't spending money on dumb stuff

they were like we're going to get good flowers we got a nice venue we got good food and then boom we got a DJ that's it and then we got a receptionist no it was in LA yeah so it's just like but i'm just saying like the things that people find important in this age as soon as you know as soon as you get older you're like they might get divorced

they might like it like you just everything that you were like oh my god this is the most important thing after a certain age you're like you know it's not you're like this is important for you but for us after the 10th wedding you're like hey man i don't even know i don't even like the guy that you're dating i don't even like him i don't even know if i've been to 10 weddings i've been to a lot of weddings i've been to a lot of what i missed a lot of weddings too i missed a lot of what i'm i'm a dirty dog bitch when it comes to dirty dog no no no i i'm like i'm going our rsvp and then something comes up with work and i'm like oh that's different no no because people are they paying for them plates oh that's true you still gotta send them the money no oh

yeah you can't if you cancel late you gotta send them the cash oh i didn't well let me oh is that that's news to me yeah you can't cancel then you have to send 250 dollars for a chicken plate you know what let me hit up these people let me hit up these people and be like yo i'm so sorry i would love to like how much was my plate yeah you kind of have to do that like it was this is years. I don't know how long ago it was. This was when I was doing drugs and like, you know, I was racked up. It was probably cheaper back then.

No, these were nice weddings. Yeah, $250. So are they all still married? The people whose plates you didn't take off? Did you send a gift? Oh, wow. No, I sent a dirty dog bitch. That's what I want.

Dirty dog bitch. And I can admit that now at this, and now I i'm glad that you brought this to my attention because now i'm gonna reach out i'm gonna i have a couple lists of people that i'm a couple lists a couple people like oh we was we was cool but like not like inner circle and you rsvp or you just rsvp wow my heart was in the place like i'm gonna be there and then and then my heart got wrapped up in the club and then like rehab and whatnot and then it was like okay i gotta i gotta focus on me i really can't go to this

you know and i will i will like to say that you know friendship is important yes weddings are important but there's got to be some kind of middle ground there's got to be some kind of understanding that things some people have these weddings and they ready to cut people off if one oh they didn't show up they're not happy enough for me yeah they're not doing they're not at my beck and call it's like those are bridezillas though you you have to be more realistic no those people are crazy yeah not everybody not every bride is a bridezilla but that that like it's all about me and she's not happy enough for me like that it seems like you if you worried about what i'm doing when you're getting married what's the marriage gonna be like sis

what you're worried about what's going on over here for oh that's true hold on no then now i'm gonna have to turn the tables because we are we're not supposed to be taking tally or whatever but you're like we have been friends for 10 years you've had a lot of things going on i've been to all this stuff now it's my time for you to show up and you're like can't respond or i just don't have the i'm you know i you know i don't have it i don't have the mental capacity to just be there for you and you'd be like bitch bitch you haven't had you haven't really had to have to show up for me for eight ten ten years no that's true now i need you to come to my 30 minute taping and you just can't make it yeah no i'm gonna need an explanation at

least yeah yeah no at least a sorry can't make it like something like just like ignore let me i'm sure if you said i'm sorry i can't but you still would have been i mean the leaving on red like i read the message i'm not coming back and then yeah they're like do you have my pictures pictures she didn't have a question mark she did post it used to hurt you should have been like when she asked you for that you should have been like honestly we could we could cut that and make make your face the beam because that was perfect i love that

Marie, have you been, have you cut people off? I feel like you're pretty, you're pretty good at keeping contact with friends. Um, yeah, I'm, I'm trying to, I'm sure there's people that I don't talk to anymore. But really, like, if you wrong a friend of mine and my friend is done with you, I'll be done with you too. Oh, wow.

That's loyal. That's where my loyalty is. Wow. That's loyal. That's very loyal. Well, it's mainly like dating. Like, if you dated my friend. Okay, yeah, no, she's good.

If you dated my friend and you broke my friend's heart or you broke up with them, then I've also broken up with you. I actually really appreciate that because sometimes you'll be breaking up with people and then your friends are still best friends with them. Not best friends, but... No, like, I've seen the bestie thing go on.

Was it a housewife? It was somebody. It was somebody that was like... I don't remember what the situation was. It's like on the edges of my brain. Oh, no. It was Larsa Pippen. Yes, Larsa Pippen.

Larsa, Nathan, Michael Jordan's son. son and uh then michael jordan jr my mjj yep oh he's cute right oh is he a cocaine but yeah she was dating him they broke up i guess it was a really ugly breakup and her friend was still cool with him. But she was like, well, my husband is cool with him. So that's why we still cool with them. And she was like, well, you shouldn't be friends with him anymore because he broke up with me and said all this nasty stuff.

And it's like, yeah, okay, sis, but you and I are not really that cool. That was the consensus on the show anyway. I can see that. I don't know. That's different. Yeah, I think that what I've learned is if I cut somebody off, I can't expect other people to cut them off. You know what I mean? Like in terms of if we in the same industry or, you know, friendship groups or whatever.

But I do say this. Don't think you're an exception. They did that to me. Baby. Yes. Don't think they're not finding a way to do that shit to you. No, that I'm very I'm kind of like you. If my friend doesn't really mess with you, like I'm not going to be too friendly with you.

Right. Like I'm just going to be a little. I'm going to be hurt. Yes. I'm going to be like, oh. and then keep it moving just because like it's a loyalty thing and it's like this is my friend like whatever yeah that's good i mean it's like somebody that like i would have been cool with you without my friend talking to you anyway exactly you're a friend of the friend the

fringe the friend a fringe a fringe friend a third party yeah and uh you know i i hate mentioning it But like, hey, if I feel like I pretty much bring people together and if I if if I cut you off, trust me, people going to fall in line. Oh, that's like because come on, D.I. Jane. No, if my energy is off, we're going to feel it. Everybody's going to feel it. I'm sorry.

I cannot I cannot contain myself. If I don't feel right, I'm out. I'm going to make it weird. I'm going to make it weird. Unless it's a work thing And we need to get paid Then I'll keep it cute But other than that

It's like I can't pretend I don't fuck with you I don't fuck with you It's scary That's very real Do we have any messages for you? Would love to read some messages Messages from the community for you

But I feel like there was something That we haven't read I kind of want to get this friend on the line like oh wow because i feel like you're telling me all of this there's two sides no there's three sides to a story she you know what it is about her she's very convincing too she's gonna come in with like she's manipulative she is and your friends are still friends with her yes well like i don't like well no she burned a few bridges okay and then after no even before in the wedding whatever but she's burned bridges throughout the years where there's been blow-ups so a lot of

people don't talk to her if that makes any sense yeah and i should have known from these situations like you know what i mean but i was like you know what this my friend you don't matter but um you learned your lesson yes i was like now i know why they don't talk to her and but she's still very good friends with a friend of mine which is fine so i'll probably see her eventually you won't see her this summer we all gonna be outside oh yeah this summer please texas texas will be like girl she's pulling up now she's very convincing always playing like very meek very very like i don't know i can't explain it but actress you know oh she'd be acting okay i think i think we might have the messages spring do you cut um people off

that you date in the same way as well you know it's so weird and when i date someone i usually keep on talking to them unless they do something unless they do me dirty then i'm gonna cut them off but i do for some reason the dating people i need to stop talking i still talk to ex-boyfriend Like forever. What y'all be talking about? I don't know. Show me that, kids. I'm like, whatever.

Kids. Okay, I got this. I don't know why. We have a message. Girl. Okay, it's the stench is just too much. I'm anonymous. Anonymous, anonymous.

Dear Marie and Sydney, I have a dear friend, A, who has graciously made me and her other friend, B, the godmother to her three adorable children. We gather regularly for the kids' birthdays and other significant life events. Sometimes we even gather at A's home for long weekends.

It's a blast. And I've had so many beautiful core memories with these people, okay? The problem is that friend B has really bad breath. Dun, dun, dun. The first instance was a dance party that two of us went to. Since the music was loud, we had to speak closely.

Unfortunately, that meant me having to figure out I'm not to inhale their breath. At my wit's end, I just placed my hand over my nose the rest of the night when we had to talk. Did B notice? Maybe.

Another time visiting A's home. For some reason, B even brought up their own issue with their breath. I've tried listening, but their breath was acting up. Then two, so I couldn't focus

because I was too focused on not inhaling. I think they cited vaping being the main issue, question mark. Yeah, do that. Since then, there have been three other instances when their breath was just too much. Recently, we had a long weekend at A's house again. And for the last two days, I basically avoided being in the same room because I just couldn't stand the smell anymore.

What do I do? Do I bring it up with A, go straight to B? I'm afraid I can't do the longer weekend things anymore. But I adore A and the kids. i can of course just visit when b is not visiting but the problem is that b is just as much as as a a part of a's life as much as i am so i hate to make it awkward as to why i keep avoiding hangouts with b sincerely first sense of smell what you think about this what should they do i actually wrote about this on threads

let's normalize start telling people their breath stinks just say it hey your breath stinks like or get somebody what's the best way

to tell somebody their breath stinks just be like ooh and then give them a mess wait do that again Mika we need that ooh

ooh you're you're smelling mess your breath is mess ooh yeah you know just give them a mess yeah

I mean listen I was I was out with somebody once and their breath was bad and I offered them gum and they were like nah I don't want that and I was like

no you should have some gum yeah yeah yeah and they were like why are you trying to say that my breath is bad and I just was like I mean gum is not enough

it's like baby I don't I know you trying to hang out this weekend you need to hang out with the dentist because there's clearly something

in your mouth something is dead something died maybe you have I don't know a socket a dry socket what does that mean

Well, if you have like a surgery on your teeth, a roof canal or whatever, and then you have like an open wound or sore and it doesn't heal correctly, you get open socket, dry socket. And it's just from like dried up, dead cells. I had it. I had it. It was really fucking bad. I don't remember your breath being bad. Well, Marie, we don't get that close. Maybe we're closer now.

I have a heightened sense of smell. You are pretty close right now. it was bad like you could tell you you could see like the dead oh yeah you can smell it too adrian told me adrian was my my ex was like yeah you probably got a little bit of it oh but he didn't care i did care no he didn't care oh oh she didn't care no she did care oh okay she was like yeah and how did she tell you your breath was bad she said um how how was how did the surgery go and i said i think it went okay but i i do feel like something is wrong with the area and she said let me look at it and then she said blow and i she said something is wrong with it

okay guys maybe that's the new technique you won't buy somebody what you know you're talking to somebody their breath is bad say hey wait a minute can you just blow and then they blow into your face and you go oh my god you gotta oh my god why it smell like that and then they're like what do you mean and then you're like oh i mean listen i dated somebody who had bad breath i dated somebody with bad breath and dated like multiple dates yeah the first time their breath was bad i was like whoa they were together oh wow and then and then it went away and then And the day, the day that I was done, the day that I was like, it's a chop, that day they were like trying to like beg me to not leave them.

And the breath was very, very bad. And it made it easy to leave. And it made, oh, it made it so easy for me to walk out that door. Yeah, the bad, the bad. I'm always like, oh, it's funky. And I don't know, I'm like my. Oh, y'all smoking up in here. Like, I'm like my mama.

So I just be like, oh, so I'm known for doing that. So I just say it like, oh, the breath is hot. Like, just give them a minute. like I don't that's just me though I don't know well I think we need to talk to friend A and say hey do you smell that yeah when B is around yeah yeah and it might be they can't afford to go to the dentist so that might be okay no that's not a thing no because you can't afford to have halitosis yeah but also no but remember I was getting hooked up from this dentist that I still go to now that I've I've paid good money now but they hooked me up because our friend came on the

pod and i i had to plead my case about not having insurance and no money and so uh yeah they might not they might can't afford it so y'all might have to pull together and be like we gotta get your breath right fund hey you will pull a james family everybody's doing gofundme the first gofundme i ever heard of it was somebody who needed ingredients to make a potato salad and they made like a hundred thousand dollars for potato salad ingredients so hey hi my breath is bad and i need money to go to the dentist or maybe y'all just need to drink more water and brush your tongues it might not even we can start small you sound like my grandma a lot of people don't brush their tongue i'm telling you it don't be the tongue it's sometimes

they got a tonsillitis or something like that like they got to take out the tonsil it's something It's some inner root shit that they're smelling. It could be multiple things, but there are a lot of people who don't brush their tongues when they brush their teeth. There is stale breath, and then there's, like, something wrong with your breath. Yeah, there's degrees of bad breath. Stale breath, like, people who smoke cigarettes and smoke weed and they drink or whatever, there's a difference between that. And then there's, like, hey, man, how's your gut doing? Yeah, that's true.

You're a probiotic? Yeah. Yeah. So, hey. Yeah, bring back telling people their breath smells bad. But you pull them to a side. Don't try to embarrass them. Be like, hey, friend, I don't know if you know.

I don't know if you have COVID and your sense don't work. But it's strong. If my breath smells, I want people to tell me. That's why I was like, you want a piece of gum? I'm like, do my breath smell? You can tell me. And I'm very much like, please tell me. But I feel like when my breath is bad, I smell it.

I can taste it. I can taste it. And I remember in COVID, everybody had the mask on. They was like, ooh, I can smell my own breath. I'm like, that's a sign. Yeah. I thought that was weird people were talking about. I was like, I don't smell my own breath like that.

This is a sign. So what should they do? Oh, what should they do? Just say something. That's all you can do. That's all you can do is tell them. Marie, what's the next message? MAGA Mystery at Zany's featuring Antonio Kareem.

What? Hey, that's free. Hey, guys. I'm writing in from Nashville. First off, Marie, I saw you when you came to Nashville a few months ago. and you are absolutely phenomenal. Fit, jokes, laugh, five stars. Okay.

Thank you, town. We love, we love. Someone with 20-20 vision. So let me set the scene. I went to see Lucas Zelnick at Zany's this past weekend. It was a sold-out show, which means they had it squeezed in there like sardines. We're talking knees to back,

two parties of two crammed at a table met for one. Whoa. Four people at a table for one. Now I'm a team player, But when my mozzarella sticks are physically touching a stranger's Stella Artois, I'm gagging. So my knees are basically fused to the back of this 60-something-year-old guy. He's a big dude, rocking overalls, straps, jeans, straight out of 1965 in a black tee. Total MAGA energy.

He was with his wife who was butchering a Canadian jumpsuit fit. was the epitome of the conservative wife but we already know what i'll make up no bad bad very bad and dry bad dry dry no my sister-in-law and i locked eyes immediately like wait does he know lucas is because for the listeners who don't know lucas is anti-trump anything we were on edge cackling to ourselves wondering if we were about to witness a mid-set meltdown i accidentally bumped him with my knee because again sardines and gave him my best cutie voice I might be doing that all night sorry in advance he actually laughed and said he didn't mind I thought okay maybe we're stereotyping maybe he's a cool overall wearing ally

then he leans over to these three dolled up 20 somethings in front of them and asks so is this guy funny chills literal physical recoil you didn't even google him we're whispering to each other who doesn't do a quick search in 2026 they clearly just saw a white guy on the poster and thought he looks like he'd have my views on tax brackets the female host has a solid five on sex stuff they're smiling we're thinking okay maybe they don't see it for the vibes Antonio Kareem comes out loved his episode with you too we're dying laughing while also checking their reactions every five seconds when they start whispering to each other.

Look, I had two drinks in me. I was being nosy. I literally leaned my ear toward them to catch what they were saying. My sis hit me and told me to stop, but did I? Absolutely not. Good mess.

Good. Antonio drops the political line. The crowd woos, and this guy's head shot back, surprised at the tables behind him. I think this was his first time realizing they might have messed up. They made it through about 75% of Lucas's set before they hit their limit.

I heard them whisper, we've had enough. And they did the walk of shame out the door. So I have to ask, is it mess to go to a comedy show on a whim without checking the vibe? In New York or LA, you expect a mix. But in Nashville, you're playing Russian roulette with your evening. Love you guys so much. You make Thursdays amazing. I'm moving to Cleveland soon.

The near fatal spot for you too. so please tour through there so i have a reason to stay forever misty oh that's a great first of all we gotta clap for that is storytelling that is not too long it's not too short you should it's clear that backstory yes it's clear that you've been listening to us for a while and you know the lingo and you oh i want it more it's like what else yeah yeah um what do you think mika well it was interesting she started off with lucas i was like wait what he do yeah um right right right right i don't know i before i started doing comedy i was a lover of comedy i didn't know that you had like i wasn't none the wiser i was just like oh there's comedy i'm gonna

go to the show yeah so i mean now the this day and age has kind of changed but i don't know sometimes you're just a lover of comedy you think you might like it all yeah you just show up to a show and think this should make me laugh i mean the laugh yeah yeah i mean yeah but nashville i mean zany's they post the stuff on they post the flyers the posters on the website yeah they did a little research and it's a headlining set like this person is in town to do a set you bought tickets you could have googled real quick and been late when they told them it happens to me um you know here and there they'll people come up and obviously maybe my you know headshots look straight and i look like i date men i don't know but one time i had a show in uh detroit

worst show of my life first show of my life um jill scott was performing next door sold out um mike epps and nick cannon all of them at the other place so like my weekend was like black people are everywhere but in my got it at my shows and so Joe Scott if they grown and they had Mike Epps if they young and ignorant yeah and so you know numbers not amazing but I was like whatever I'm yeah this was like a couple years ago I was like I'm taking it yeah and so uh there was a big group of black people I said need that yeah that um I I get into you know me being a homosexual and they are not having it really they are upset they're making faces what do you say what's the what's the first thing you say to let them know that you're a homosexual i have a

girlfriend and that was enough that was enough i was like and i was saying how much uh you know you know she's my soulmate but i gave up my cat and they were just they couldn't believe it they couldn't believe their eyes and then they started heckling me no and uh this we're 15 minutes in and so i said you know what's going on they're like you know you're not really gay and i said well i said i'm pretty sure i'm gay like this is what i'm doing anybody would know it's it's gonna be me and then you know it's gonna be me uh the you know then one of the guys were like you just haven't had the right dick yet and i said hey this is not a forum this is not a town hall i don't need suggestions you haven't had the right dick has never been said by a guy who had the right

also this sounds very detroit it is no it was no shade to detroit no hey and i was like i'm still here for it but then i was scared because they seemed like it was a lot of commotion but then they're like laughing at stuff that wasn't funny and then i was like hey so i have like another 40 minutes so if you you don't i mean i kind of needed them because it wasn't a lot of people there but the other people in the show were like getting upset because they were like come on let her do her fucking shit you know and so um you know i was getting nervous because i was like what if they charge the stage there's no security oh wow that's crazy like the manager was a comedian I feel like in Detroit, you need security.

Yeah, it's Detroit. And so then I was like, so why are y'all here? And then they all pointed to one woman. Her. She said, you're good. And she wanted to come see. I said, well, who is she? They were like, the cousin.

I said, your cousin gay. Because why else would she be here? And I said, why would you set me up like this cousin? Girl, you outed the cousin. I said, had to be. I said, oh, I'm not going to be the only one over here. didn't hate crimes right and so they would not leave because it was pouring outside and so yes i was glad i was like i got your money it don't like you came yeah

don't you worry i say hey and they stayed for the whole they stayed the whole show and then i ended up getting shots after because you know i'm a people pleaser and i got shots with people who was heckling you you got them shot wait wait wait you got them shot it was stupid i just was like hey you know because i had to leave and i was like i just don't want them to you know try to attack me after so i was like no that's going to be nice like you know it's okay gay people are okay like and and the mother was looking like you're fine but like you're going to hell too yeah it was just it was foolish of me and but i'm thankful for sometimes these people who don't know who i am and then at the end they're like i didn't know you but this was really good or like i'm so

glad i came so i need people to come and you know maybe not research but also i'm like if you're homophobic and no that's true i don't want yeah how was the rest of the 40 minutes of the set oh we was going back there was some good moments and there was some low moments and then there was like one person one person was like shushing them and they're like let her tell her jokes And the venues did nothing. Wow. What venue is it? Yeah, right.

Don't go back. I'll scroll back on your page. House of Comedy. Wow. House of Comedy? No security? No security. The manager was a comedian.

He was just like, yeah, this is how comedy go. You know, sometimes you just got to. Okay. No, right. No. House of Comedy. Yeah. And it felt like that.

And I took my money and I said, they won't see me no more. I know that's right. They won't see me. I know that's right. You know? That's great. it is dangerous though. Cause sometimes you tell them the joke.

Like I do a lot of like, I don't know, things that are racially charged at times. And you can see people getting angry and like, you can be on stage and there's no security. You can get beat up. Like, yeah,

you can get Chris Rock. People can attack you. And my face is oh so cute. I don't want none of that. If I could just stay away from that, I will. I'll absolutely. I don't need nobody bringing their arm back this fall.

Wah. Mm-hmm. Wah. um yeah we are on the front lines we are yeah different type of front lines you know which y'all might be thinking but yeah this job when you're on stage you're up there by yourself and and and if you have stalkers if you have people don't like you just go on your website they can see where you are anywhere they can just google you and so it's very very scary you're a beautiful funny uh you know black woman who's also gay or not and you know

queer adjacent queer you know your your life is on the line no no it is no i i get yeah it's scary yeah some guy don't like that much he's like oh i see you be in brooklyn this week a bunch of business yeah yeah it's like weird like you can't say that we don't if i don't i don't need you to tell me that you know where i am yeah that's scary yeah it makes you not want to pose but You have to post. Well, that's why I used to post all my dates on my website and I had a stalker and he was like, Hey, can I, you want me to come and like shoot video and photo of the show? And I was like, Oh, and then he hit the venue up and was like, Marie said, I can shoot.

I said, Marie, this guy said he was coming to show. I said, no. Wow. I said, I will not be there if he's going to be there. That is crazy. All right. Well, we'll tell him not to come. Yeah.

Not Marie said. Yeah. People are, people are scary. Cuckoo crazy bananas They're cuckoo They have enough money to get on the train And then come to a show And two drink men and everything like that

Thank you for your money But actually I'd rather you just pay for the ticket Yo somebody sent me my DMs the other day Okay He said Marie Should I get on a plane to New York to come see He said I live in Florida by the way No

Don't leave Florida Should I tell him to come or no well I don't know do you need the ticket yeah I was gonna say that it's not even for a show you just said should I come up there to take you out oh is he cute I don't know his page is private

oh no we don't know who that is we need more information mess now that is mess anyway we did it is there anything else that we um is there any other messy

moments that we missed is there some advice you have for the people on how to rip the band-aid off and cut them out of your life like i just say if people aren't serving you uh you know if you don't feel appreciated then let them go there's too many people out there that will appreciate you and i'm not in the business of being treated as less than so i'm i jumped all dropped all those people and we're done yeah i'm not in the business of being treated less than yeah and uh where can people find you what you got coming up yes uh so you can find me on instagram at mika social m-e-k-a social uh i do have a show in williamsburg brooklyn uh purple park comedy on march 19th purple park purple park comedy march 19th and then we're going to austin purple park comedy

will be in austin on march 30th so yay oh my god love mika you really brought the mess we really We appreciate you here. You're certified. You got the stamp of approval from us. You are a messie. You are a messie for life. Keep listening to us. Keep following us.

Go to our YouTubes. We're doing great. Keep sending us your mess. Yes. Live, laugh, mess. Bye. Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players

and iHeartRadio Podcast. Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.