MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Buffalo Exchange Bible w/ Courtney Bee
Episode Date: May 14, 2026This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by comedian and friend Courtney Bee! The three discuss dating in LA MESS, Uber driver MESS, roommate MESS, traveling with friends MESS, and more. Don't forget to ...check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE! https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at messthepodcast@gmail.com, or call in at (763) 280-6588 to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description
oh you listening to mess oh lord of mercy lord of mercy good morning good afternoon good evening
good night girl i need a good night okay i need to wrap it up right this morning i know but you
You know, I got up early because I said, oh, you know, I'm going to see my friend who has a kid.
Oh, you did that?
I did that.
I went to go see Langston.
And the babies?
No.
One of the kids is at school.
I said, oh, I forgot.
They be learning now.
And so.
So you woke up at what time?
I woke up at 7 o'clock.
And.
And you got there at?
They're at 9-ish.
And then he was like, no, I'm not there.
He not even there?
He was not there.
He's like, oh, my.
You know, he's got to go get a passport.
I said, a baby need a passport?
and so yeah did that and that was cute well you know what really made me tired
marie the fact that you woke up at 7 a.m to see a baby child was the child impressive
the baby wasn't even there hold on hold on wait i'm not gonna show it here like in the room but
i'm gonna show you him and you're gonna be like wait a minute he is so he's like a michelin the
Michelin baby. Yeah, girl. The tire baby.
You just told us he wasn't at the house.
No, but when his son,
when he came in with his, I said, oh my
God, the little cheese.
He's talking about like rolls. Yeah, it is
rolls. Not me calling me
his son big. It's not.
I love the marshmallow man.
The marshmallow man.
I love the big little baby.
When the baby's
arm got that fold right there.
Yes, and his feet
is a little crooked feet.
They get milk all in their little places.
Oh no, that's where you're going to lose me.
That's where you're going to lose me.
You put the baby socks on and the foot of the leg,
they don't have no circulation.
It's very diabetic.
Yeah, it is.
I wanted to put his whole leg in my mouth.
Nom, nom, nom.
It's because you didn't eat breakfast.
I did not.
I'm hungry.
Yo, okay, so wait.
Wait, Marie, this was my mess.
Yo, I had to get out of LA because the Ubers,
I'm sure I've talked about this already,
but it's like they don't talk to,
it's like they have nobody at home to talk to so when soon as they get in the car it's boom we
chat and i get in i do a big he said you know what i know you're tired but can you believe
that your lord and savior is alive and well that's what he started with and i said oh i thought i
was gonna take it now what came and got you a church fan oh my god girl he had this long-winded
story about how he got robbed but they didn't take any money so you're fine what did they take
uh his time that's it they took his time you should have said he was missing teeth so i thought
no it's not a tooth girl it's deep it's teeth it's like a whole side of the mouth now when he
said they took his time you should have said you taking mine too as well i did but then the way he
was like so thankful all the gratitude that he's alive and what he said something told me the
spirit i said well the spirit can't tell you that i don't want to talk i don't want to hear this
And then he talked about how the mental illness is happening in the streets.
And then he went from that to Ozzy Osbourne.
And he met Stevie Wonder.
And baby, it was a 25 minute, 30 ride.
He talked the whole time.
And you know what he's getting?
One star.
I'm giving one.
Let me see.
Let me see you give him one star.
Because you're saying that.
And I do not believe you're going to give this man a star.
Put it out.
Do it now.
I know I'm saying this
but it's so hard
don't lie to me in front of the black guests
I know
Courtney B you deserve more
I don't know if you're going to get in the habit of doing that
I ain't got no love for you
as soon as he was talking I said oh not this
girl unlock the phone
I can't
he was so happy about
talking about he believes
and I said I too believe
in that guy
or woman or non-binary.
You're talking about the Lord? Yes, the Lord.
Oh, what version of the Bible are you talking about?
I don't know.
No LGBTQ.
No LGBTQ.
Queen James Version.
My God ain't gay.
Girl.
My God ain't gay.
Listen.
My Jesus was in sandals.
He was definitely gay.
he had a little bit of a wedge
he did wear a long drag
he did
I believe they pronounced that tunic
tunic
it was giving drag
the air was flowing
oh man bodied
he had a balayage
bust down
bust out middle part
how long is your god's hair
mine come down to his waist
that's a good title of the episode
how long is your lord's hair okay so that's your mess that's my mess and i i just could not tell
him to shut the f up because people be really do be going through things and i said you know what
sir if you want to just let it out at at 8 30 in the morning you need this more than not we need i
need to know while this guy is saying all this stuff how are you responding i said oh oh wow
that's the standard
I'm not listening to you if I'm going
mmm
I just let him
is that so
when I hit you with a is that so
oh I'm in another dimension babe
but is that so feels like
it's too many words
she wants more
cause when you say is that so they be like it is so
and another thing
Stevie Wonder not blind
now you having a dialogue with this man
about LZ
there was no there was no dialogue okay and he was like yeah and stevie wonder's hands was hard
as rocks i said whoa you're dragging mr stevie well he didn't know they were dry and i'll allow
it i'll allow it and that she and blind man he said he uses a lot of uh instruments that's why
his hands are so hard now what's everybody just played the piano yeah what else he played the
harmonica oh i guess you don't need hands for that but it's a lot of spit in there his hands
should be never thought about how much spit it takes to eat oh listen he can't he can't see but
he's definitely on now funky now are people still learning how to play the harmonica in 2026 that's
a great question i feel like you would know i don't i don't i don't why would she know because
i feel like there's a lot of um uh those type of artists in la the harmonica i don't think i've
heard of harmonica in la yeah i don't think i don't think anybody's playing the harmonica anymore
they're not except stevie wonder except stevie wonder and that is wrong with our generation
right now if they get on their job lock into your zoom and play the harmonica we would be
more together the togetherness would be it's not like you had enough together time in there oh i
did i did um i got some mess yeah actually i'm gonna phrase my mess as a question okay okay let
You crossed my lane.
All right.
So whenever I travel,
I hate dating apps.
Okay.
Right.
I think we can all agree that they suck.
They trash.
They nasty.
Um,
but every time I travel to a city outside of New York,
I'd be like,
well,
let me just change my location.
See what's out there.
Just in case,
you know,
so I can see,
you know,
hashtag Stevie Wonder.
And so,
um,
you know,
whenever I'm out of New York,
I feel like the guys that I match with,
they send in sonnets,
soliloquies,
poems
I would be remiss
if I didn't
that was the great word
of yesterday
is it mess to not tell
somebody who is
enamored with me or enamored about me
I don't know how that sentence goes
if you are let me know what it is
to not tell them that I'm only here temporarily
or am I supposed to tell them
hey you know I live in New York
I'm just passing through here
is it mess to tell them to not tell them
I think
it's funner
to tell them.
Because, see, if you don't
live there, they're going to be sitting up there
like, oh, I got to see her now.
I got to take her out. Now there's an urgency.
But if you like,
oh, I'm here, you know,
whatever, and you chill about it,
they're going to waste your time. They're going to take forever.
They're not going to get to it.
They're going to message me when I'm on the flight back.
Get to it.
Make them spend this cash real quick.
Queen, queen, queen.
So you just in here, in town for business?
Hey, yes.
I'm just passing through.
Mm-hmm.
And I think men like that anyway, sure.
I don't know.
I feel like, now this is my, this might be misogynistic of me, but when a man says I'm
here, you know, I'm just in town for the weekend, that sounds like, ooh, you have something
else to do.
But when a woman's like, yeah, I'm just running through, you're like.
Well, not running through.
We would also say, for the weekend.
We wouldn't say running through.
For the weekend.
Your man is my man.
Okay, SZA.
For the weekend.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
So what happened?
So were you on the app or?
Yeah, I am.
And it's like two people.
They look like they in the running to be on Becker's next time.
Oh, you were in L.A. on this app.
Mm-hmm.
Oh.
I like dating in L.A.
Do you?
Actually do, yeah.
Okay, let's talk about it.
L.A., this is what I'll say.
Hold on, before you say it.
Okay.
Courtney B is in the studio.
Yes, Courtney B is in the studio.
Courtney B is here, and she is the B stands for beast mode.
Beast mode.
No, beast mode.
No, I was going to say Courtney booked, okay?
Courtney booked.
You're very booked.
Very booked.
Very busy.
Very busy.
And you're a babe and beautiful.
But I digress.
Courtney B.
Courtney B.
So you like dating in L.A. because?
So, okay, now, we met in New York.
so you know I used to do the New York thing and New York
Dane is just like
I swear it's bottom of the barrel but I don't know if I
just like hood niggas so
it's just hood shit
you know you like hood niggas
I like the hood I love a hood nigga
so you like somebody
so you like them to hook up with you
with their Timbs on
you like them to keep their Timbs on
very Mr. Marcus
if you know you know
if you know you nasty miss courtney b if you nasty
but laymen they seem to know that they have to take you out they have to like wind it down you
and like court you i found i don't know if it's because all of the women here just have this like
bougie kind of feel so they just automatically understand that money needs to be spent
but I have a blast out here like
the men just cater to me
and take me out and
I think it's more influencers
here and so they're constantly talking
about how the guys
need to do better and I'm like I'm not coming outside
unless you picking me up
there's a million influencers in New York also
saying the same thing and the men be like the train
is not that far from your house
and that's a thing
but that's the thing the girls are
taking the train the girls are not taking the train here
they're not doing public transportation
I need to respond to both of these men
about tomorrow
tomorrow
so you have two dates
I'm a double stacker
I got two dates
one for the
yeah
have one take you
you know to air on real quick
and then yeah get you
a little smoothie or whatever for $30
and then you go to Nobu at night
oh cute
Malibu
Malibu
no no you don't want that
no
you gotta see the water
I wanna see the water
cause the water's so blue
so Courtney
let's talk
so you lived in New York for a little bit
you said absolutely not
actually no you lived here
you were having a good time in New York
I was having a great time in New York
I go live to New York and then
Nick Cannon called me and was like
yo move to
cause she having
my baby
baby baby baby
baby baby
girl that's who's running the 90s
he bought me a
jeep
did he buy you a jeep? no for real
no he did you didn't see it and it's beautiful
but I thought that meant that like the money
that you was making with him paid for that
He bought you the jeep.
I don't even pay the insurance.
Nick, let me get that tune, too.
The beat.
Yo, Nick, I know how to play spades, okay?
I know how to get some cards going.
Let's go.
Nick, I play well with others.
I want a jeep.
I promise I won't renege, nigga.
Nick, send me a jeep.
See what I'm saying?
Anyway, I didn't mean to yell.
I lost my composure right there.
Yeah, yeah.
So in L.A., the men are buying Jeeps, and in New York, they are barely buying anything.
MetroCard.
Let's get egg and cheese in.
That's it.
That's it.
And they want to go half on that.
And they want to send you a Venmo request.
Yes, I'm telling you.
I hate that.
I hate that.
You can't just say it's a bar.
He was like, you done took me to Nobu.
I mean, I'm telling you, I've lived a good life.
Yeah, and he seems like he really loves you.
No, for real.
What year is the Jeep?
2024?
I feel like it's whatever you moved here.
It was whenever I moved here.
Yeah, 2024.
One year after.
It wasn't pre-owned.
It was like, you know.
No, no.
Yeah, he was like,
Pimp My Ride.
Costum.
Exhibit.
Exhibit, yes.
Oh, he pimped.
He pimped.
He pimped.
And you didn't have to pimp.
I didn't have to do nothing.
Nothing.
You got any plates on that thing
or it's just like a little plate?
I got his plates on.
And you didn't need,
and nothing was in the uterus at all.
No baby.
No baby.
No baby.
No baby.
Big mama, no kids.
you're the real lotto in here
you see we have big money players right now and nobody here in the studio has offered to buy me
a vehicle and i've been here all week yeah yeah and let me tell you somebody got me a zara dress
on sale and thought i was gonna do anal so i'm i'm proud of you for not having anal
And he was Italian.
Can you believe?
Okay, so what did he look like?
Not cute enough for Busta.
No, not at all.
Busta was like for your husband. I'm saving my booty for my husband.
Why? They're not worth that.
You might as well just give your booty up.
Do it on your turn.
Don't save it for nobody.
Make Mike could get some booty.
Shut up, Kourtney.
Where's HR?
You know it's on the internet.
you seen it
no girl
we're not looking at that
that shit
he is too big for Busta
oh
yeah
he's major
I ain't gonna hold you
you gotta see it
go look at him
no I won't
I actually
show me Nick Cannon's penis
stop it
Marie
not on camera
it's huge
I'm telling you
I'm not even bullshit
how big we talking here
and let me tell you something
I confirmed with his baby mama
I said yo
this him
she said
I said oh shit bitch
you said
she said
absolutely not
my Siri said,
I don't know how to respond to that.
And that's why I like your Siri.
She's respectful.
we gonna see the dick.
No,
no.
And my phone don't even understand where dick is.
She has a penis.
Penis is demure.
Dick is large.
Dick is big.
Yeah.
So you say,
you said his penis has a,
has a,
has his own zip code.
Is that what's going on?
That's the sign for the Jeep.
That's where all the big mamas live in that zip code right there.
He filed different taxes.
Yes.
Oh God.
He's doing dick tacks.
Business tacks.
Perfect tacks.
His dick got a briefcase, for sure.
You know that dick got a briefcase.
Dependence, man.
Oh, we do.
13 of them.
Goodness.
Hey, Nick, I too love you.
So really, you're pretty much one of his children.
Literally.
You are dependent.
He's got 14.
14 kids.
He's been keeping me alive for these last five years.
So no wonder dating is amazing in LA.
you're not really expecting
too much from me
because you're already set.
Well, no.
I still got rent.
I need, you know,
I need...
Somebody got to pay that.
Somebody got to pay that.
And that person is not...
Isn't Nick paying that?
No.
Nick's not paying my rent.
Nick is giving cheap.
No.
She needs a place
to park that chick.
No, but he has paid it.
I need a new job.
He has paid it.
Courtney.
But I'm dependent.
Like, what Nick will do,
he'll give me dependent enough.
He'll be like,
yo, I got you.
You know, I got you.
And I get dependent.
but you know the thing about showbiz is
one minute you're dependent
independent and then the next minute you could be
independent so I'll be independent
as hell
so you telling me I'm dependent
you know what I'm trying to say
I-N-D-E-P-E
N-D-E-N-D
do you know what that means
she got her own god
she got her own god
I'm having two jobs
then they be like well that season's
over here. So you gotta like,
you know, you gotta pace yourself. Yeah, but you
are wilding out. Yeah.
And Nick doesn't fire people from that, famously.
No, he doesn't. He keeps
an open door policy. People come in and out,
come back and forth, and you know.
So you're saying you haven't given him
up an ear or like
a belly button? No booty.
Has he seen your ta-tas? No,
not unless he's been surfing the internet.
Oh, they want to see that?
I don't see it.
Now I'm going to dig a breast.
okay so i have titties yeah and you have
breasts okay this is a combo that's cleavage this is bosom
but i like bosom more because it just feels more like
comforting it's warm bosom is huggable breast yeah
right yes you can lie here yeah i can have shelter in a titty might scratch
you yes yeah yeah you would still be shivering with titties oh yeah you're gonna be cold and
i'm always cold you're right
okay so so you said dating is okay in LA but I like it but you said your mess was something
else though what's your man my mess so what is my mess what are we talking about are we going to
talk about the fact that i am so like single that i'm okay with single i think i'm looking for my
husband because that's what you're supposed to do my husband because i'm reaching 40 we about to hit
the 40 mark oh you look amazing thank you it's tricky though because see now all of my 40 friends
they starting to freeze
they eggs
they starting to do
no baby they start
they should've
these the back of the
these the back of the
fresh eggs
they should've
frosted it
whoa
bottom of the
back of the
they on they last leg eggs
but they getting them out
these the eggs
that's leaning to the side
a little bit
lean with the rock
with it
oh my god
hey but you know
when you ever see the eggs
and it said
use by
use by
you still can use it
afterwards
like you don't have to
have that
like I feel like
you have 10 days
after. This 10 days, you pull this number
out your butt, you chat to me, I tell you that
10 days.
It's best buy.
So it's actually better when you
have it by this date. No,
it's best buy meaning you got to do it before
that date. I agree.
Don't wait for that date to get
the black line.
Best buy.
Best buy.
She said, well, the egg look,
it still look good because sometimes
hold on
well you can't do it with milk
but I definitely believe
that you can do it with eggs
or anything that was like
frozen
once you
you're not freezing
the egg
the egg not frozen
you talking about
the body eggs
I freeze a lot of shit
but not the egg
no eggs
okay you can't freeze that
when you get back to the house
freezing eggs
let me know what your
freezer looks like
let me know how those
come out
the egg is gonna explode
the chicken's gonna
I love when an egg
just gives
I'ma get
get it
popping no no no please freeze an egg when you get back oh my god okay so your friends are freezing
you know why they're probably waiting so late because it's so expensive that's another it's a
great you ain't you ain't really got it till you get it yeah so yeah they freeze the eggs and you
know there's just decisions that have to be made at this age it's like oh do you want to get married
If you get married, then ugh.
Why ugh?
Because I feel like you have to be considerate.
Relationships are inconveniencing as hell.
Yeah.
Because you have to think about that person.
And I think I might be a little too selfish.
It's a thing.
I'm an only child.
It's being selfish, Max.
Is that what we're saying right now?
Well, I think for me, and I kind of get what you're saying.
I'm not an only child, but I've lived alone for six years.
I can't imagine living with somebody
I cannot imagine a man
in my house
leaving stuff in the sink
shoes by the door
I come in and he's like how was your day
don't talk to me
I just got here
the dude I'm dating he told me the other day
he said if we ever move in
together we get a house
he said we're going to have to have
another space for me because you're moody
and that hurt my feelings
because I was like god damn
But are you moody?
Moody?
Did you notice that I'm moody?
Yes, girl.
The goal is not for him to notice how moody I am.
Am I a bitch?
Yes, that's what the bitch stands for.
A bitch.
And she did say that up top.
I really think I might be a bitch.
But what's your sign?
Virgo.
Virgo.
What's your birthday?
September 10th.
Okay, on the 23rd.
Oh, yes.
I see.
Virgo, Virgo, Virgo.
Professionalist.
Yes, you're very professionalist.
I would say you're dramatic, and you probably could be a little bitch.
the B is lowercase
it's a lowercase B
not an uppercase B
it's lowercase and it's on the other side
bitch
is it bitch with like a little
apostrophe
it got two little dots over the I
like Beyonce
couldn't it be
couldn't it be
so yeah I think I'm just
like you know you have to make
decisions
on whether you want to
really pursue this because there are men that actively want to marry and actively want these
things or if you want to stay single and it's kind of like but damn i want a nigga when i want
a nigga but then i want a nigga when i want a nigga i think the secret is separate wings of
the house separate bedrooms separate floors or he gotta live across carry branch on big
remember how she did that yeah but he died so it don't even matter
Well, they are separate realms of life.
Separate planes.
Because I can't hurt you.
Whoever you are.
It actually probably worked out with her.
I think, Julie,
shout out to Peloton for killing that band.
It did, come on.
Great promo.
But I was going to say,
you're saying you have to be considerate,
but don't you have to be considerate?
It's not just in relationships,
it's friendships, it's family, it's work.
Like, you don't just say,
oh i have to be considerate with just one person there's a ray of people so i think that yes you
work on it in a relationship but i think don't you have you have roommates before yeah best friend
that bitch make she rest in peace wait what happened what was the mess with that roommate
roommates freaking psych and you know what's crazy before i left la literally my roommate
served me with papers literally i mean new york when i left new york what what that was
don't give us a scoop let me tell you what this bitch did and y'all gonna be like bitch
it's a lot of bitches happening right now let me tell y'all mad bitches
what these bitches want from a nigga
i had a tupperware already the story is that line alone lets me know
let's me know you might be in the wrong
I had a Tupperware is the new
I had a Tupperware
I had a Tupperware is the title
of the episode I want that
I had a Tupperware
I also like Bush
but it might be easier you know to promote
sure sure sure
I had a Tupperware now let's be clear
y'all know how Tupperware get you season it
you season your Tupperware your Tupperware season
like a cast iron skillet
It's season. Right, right. Tupperware
is in the sink. Tupperware is the only
thing in the sink.
Right. You don't have a dishwasher?
No, girl. In New York City?
Hello?
Okay, listen.
How long you had that dishwasher for, Sue?
For a year.
Yeah.
That's why I knew you was getting money.
You know my guarantor are getting money.
To the guarantor.
She got crispy white walls.
That's nice.
That's nice.
Okay, so Tupperware.
Tupperware is in the sink.
So I come out.
Tupperware is in the trash.
Well, how seasoned was the Tupperware, sis?
Because if it's giving gray, we maybe should be switching it out.
How long was it in the sink?
It was only in the sink for a day.
Are you sure?
yes because i know you be out friend no okay tupperware in the sink one day okay then i wake
up in the middle of the night i see it in the trash so then i take the tupperware out the trash
put it back in the sink now you nasty why you gotta scrub your sink down you don't clean your
sink no but it was already in the trash right yeah not at two and three in the morning i'm
taking a midnight piss it's just it's just put it back in the sink because the point is
bitch
is here
to stay
okay
this Tupperware
is on the lease bank
oh yeah
it's on the lease
did your great grandmother
pass down this Tupperware
like why
no
no it's principal
okay
this is a principal story
Sydney you just be
throwing Tupperware
in the trash
yeah
who throws away Tupperware
you
that's how you
that's your
it's in the recycling
isn't Tupperware
like one of them things
that you keep
for generations
you're supposed to reuse it
yeah
it's an heirloom
it's an heirloom
I've never
put it in the way
I have thrown Tupperware away before
but it was more like the delivery
delivery Tupperware
literal zip lock
yeah yeah with the blue top
or the maroon top
I just want to let you know this Tupperware is
is giving people cancer
and that's why the generations are
really you do not have to go there
that's crazy
people ain't staying alive anymore because of the Tupperware
polyester is giving people cancer
deodorant with aluminum
you still use that
lease front is giving people cancer
lashes
going Dutch on dates is giving people cancer
this is why the men have to pay
men don't understand
that I just want to be healthy
you bringing it back to that
pay the way you way
hey
so you took the Tupperware out of the trash
put it back in the sink
I go to sleep I wake up the next morning
Tupperware in trash
trash taken out.
How do you know
it's the trash you went in
and opened the bag?
Tupperware is out, see?
There's a new trash bag.
This bitch in Tupperware
put in the trash,
threw the trash out.
Was it even trash pick up bag?
That's what I was going to say.
I don't know.
But also I was like,
was the trash full?
Listen, I don't even know.
All you know is everything's gone.
But what I'm saying is
I started seeing red.
I started seeing red.
because you know what
I couldn't believe the boldness
right
the audacity
the gall
the gall
that's who you think you is
so you already know
I go to the group
group chat
not the chat
the chat
because it was three room
I ain't three room
oh girl you was doing that
because you want to find out
who you was doing that
I was in a group room
you were in a group room
a little halfway
a little halfway
three roommates
one Tupperware
that's great
that might be the title
of the episode
well
three girls
one cup
is chaotic
no three girls
one Tupperware
hello
I'm in a group chat
bitch
y'all know
not you started with it
yes
not even a to whom
it may concern
where the fuck
is my Tupperware
bitch where the fuck
is my Tupperware
we need to make merch
that bitch was bold
she said she threw it out
Bitch, you got me fucked up.
You better bring a new motherfucking
Tupperware up in this house.
Well, I'm glad that she was honest.
You know, I hate when you have to do that.
You know, who did the murder mystery?
She was sneaky and then honest.
She started going off on me.
I started going off on her.
The bitch was like,
I owe this shit.
I told her she needs some dick
because she don't never have no dick
coming up in there.
Well, it's...
Wait, wait, hold on.
Yes, the bitch was rude.
I like the bitch.
But there's no room for the dick.
It's about 750,000 of y'all
in the room.
Let me tell you something.
There's room for some dick
at all times.
Oh, Lord.
Okay.
I was getting some dick
through there.
To be honest,
dick don't really need
that much space.
Okay.
Dick don't need a lot of space.
Dick don't even require anything.
You don't even need
a room for dick.
You don't need money for dick?
Like, dick is free.
Dick doesn't require it.
It's free.
Dick is literally free.
It's for the community.
Dick is a soup kitchen,
for sure.
The way they pass it out.
They're like,
oh, here's a scoop for you
and a scoop for you.
Hey, you want your free dick?
Yeah.
make sure you want to take some dick
this is a CVS receipt
make sure you get your dick on the way out
I love dick to go
that might be the time
I went off on that bitch
that bitch said I want you out
bitch I ain't going nowhere hoe
she said she wanted you out
she said she wanted me out
over some Tupperware
I ain't going nowhere hoe
did she say why she threw it away
she didn't say none of that
that bitch was being spiteful
she a spiteful
little cunning ass bitch
and I know she's still
lit here too bitch
now
had y'all had issues
in the past
yeah
because we went through
the pandemic together
oh
so you gotta understand
like
and I ain't gonna lie
I love my space
my space was like
it was the biggest room
it was just nice
like I liked
like my apartment
you have pictures of it
um
you might need it for the dump
you need it for the dump
maybe not though
but I'll show you
you know
send us a picture
of the Tupperware
yeah
for the dump
yes
you say you keep it as long as you can
so you should have it
I'm going to find it
I'm going to find just the beat up one
it's going to be red from pasta sauce
that's what it was
so okay
so y'all were in the pandemic y'all had some issues
well I mean the issues were like
I blare my music too loud
I was disrespectful like that I ain't going to hold you
you know and you were young
you got to listen to what the fuck I'm listening to
what I'm listening to is shit.
What you starting your day off with?
What songs?
Nigga, I be going in.
Let me hear it.
I'm listening to Boss Man D-Low.
Oh, boy.
You know,
sometimes she'll get a gospel.
Now I know she was a gospel girl.
And you're like,
do I need a revolution?
She was not a gospel girl.
You know what I'm saying?
Christians don't throw away Tupperware.
Exactly.
That's not biblical.
You know,
we had gone through some things together,
but again,
we were still like cordial,
you know,
stuff like that.
But when we argue,
we already argued
and so she was like I want you out
and I was like bitch I ain't going nowhere
and so then
I'm in my room I get this knock
on the door and this man served me
paper
she worked fast
wait a minute
she was home too I said okay
hoe
I said bitch I'm going to court
let's go
cut to y'all on Judge Judy
Judge Mathis
I'm putting on my one inch of you
and I'm marching in the courts.
That's the kitten law.
That's the kitten law.
The law and order kitten law.
Itty bitty.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
I got a baby on that too.
I know you got a baby.
I know you got a baby.
Itty bitty kitten.
Yeah.
Because you want them to respect you.
I was ready for that whole,
this is how I got out of work though.
This is why it's crazy.
That happened literally the next day
I had a show in Brooklyn, right?
I get a call from Nick.
yo it's time now i don't believe him because it had taken him a while to even call me for
for for the first like the first like he had called me before it was like yo we gonna do
this in december but then december had passed january passed you know all these months have
passed so then call back he was like yo what's happening and i was like okay literally the next
day they start calling me like yo let's let's work out the logistics blah blah blah you got
10 days to get here. That's how quick it happened.
So you got served
and then you got a Jeep?
And then I moved the fuck out.
And I ain't even tell the bitch. I literally moved
my shit out at night.
Like a peep in the night.
But Courtney, I don't believe you was being quiet on that move,
that nighttime move. I believe you had a
soundtrack playing. You had to. The bosses
was hitting her doorknob.
I don't believe you slammed the door shut.
In the middle of the night. It did. I know you have
those house shoes that go... You know I do.
I love a shit, shit, shit.
I literally
shushed your shit all the time.
Like, there's no
back on my house shit.
I love that sound.
I love that sound. That's how you know
a house is a home. It's soothing.
It's a soothing sound.
I mean, we're like, pick up your feet.
No. No. I'm at home.
That's how you know.
That's how you know I'm comfortable.
I'm here. This is mine.
Exactly. You know?
it's still fuck that bitch
so the timing
so did you ever go to court
no I never had to go to court
because I just
exited stage left
because that's why
your God don't play
about you
and that's it
ain't I good
all the time
all the time
God is good
see what I'm saying
except for the non-binary God
that's the deal
oh my God
my non-binary God
was like
well hold on now
My Urban Outfitters
Lord
Hold on
Your lord wear Urban Outfitters
Clearance rack
Cause it's frugal
They're frugal
Yeah he was
Jay was a man of the people
They
They
They and them
Them
Them
Well it's not like it worked out for you
It did
It definitely worked out for me
But it still fucked that bitch
I've had a lot of fucked up roommates though
Roommates suck
Roommates do suck
roommate i ever had i knew was gonna be the last roommate i would ever have really how long have
you been by yourself six years you lucky but i said i just said like i had had roommates my
entire life i'm i'm the middle child of three so like i've never not had my people i've never had
my own yeah so um actually that's not true i had my own oh i forgot about that lol you said
don't get me to lying
I said hold on
I did
I think it is blue
anyway
yeah she was like
nice
but
she would leave things
in the sink
for days at a time
and that's a thing
and I hated how
she stacked stuff
it'd be like
a cup
a fork
a plate
a cast iron
and it was so jenga
I'm like
I need a knife
at the bottom
that's that Dr. Seuss shit
remember the one
where he's
stacking everything
everything is stacked
so that pissed me off
more than the fact
that it was stuck in there
It was like, why is everything on this teaspoon?
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, I will never live with somebody ever again.
And I was able to move out after my lease was up.
And then the pandemic happened a couple months later.
And I was like, whoo.
So you moved out right before the pandemic and got your own place.
Damn.
Yeah.
Did you lie to me about yourself during the pandemic?
I did.
And then I didn't.
Pandemic was tricky.
I didn't need it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
but see I like
I love
living with people
I'm the bad roommate
I'm the bad roommate
me too maybe a little
no no no
now that I think about it
I won't keep my place
my area clean
okay but I try to do the
communal system you know I try
to do right by that but that's very hard
because I do I am a type B
ADHD
quarter-ish
yeah so I might be the
person I'm not stacking
I'm not doing that because stacking
actually feels like
type A it's like you're organizing things
I'm just doing it yeah dishes
well that's why I use
a plastic fork and I'm going to
use every time that place
are you a plastic fork
washer
she's throwing away Tupperware she's not
washing a plastic fork
no she sounds like a plastic fork
because sometimes you know the delivery they don't give you utensils so sometimes it's like
well hold on i got i got that one good i got an heirloom fork and knife set but sydney you have
actual silverware sydney was just talking about cancer and t-shirts and you're reusing
have you seen those old flimsy forks
The one prong that I do, she be using a KFC spork.
The spork.
The spork.
I love a good spork.
A two-in-one.
Get into it.
Get out of it.
Get out of it.
You got to get out of that with a spork.
Yeah, I love a spork.
You got to scoop everything with a spork.
Yeah, when I lived with my ex and we lived in Bushwick, I was a bad roommate.
You know, it's like, so you not giving up no cat and you not washing no dishes?
You wasn't giving up no cat?
You should have been giving up some cat.
I was depressed.
You don't have to be sad.
You don't have to be sad
and not give up no cat
and not do no dishes
and reuse a fork.
Most depressed women
like to fuck, no?
Oh, no.
Am I?
Isn't that a thing?
No.
Is that?
I don't think that's a thing.
That's not a thing?
No, no.
There's some...
Angelina Jolie
and Girl Interrupted
was fucking,
wasn't she?
Was she depressed?
I think she was on drugs.
Okay, she might have been crazy.
Yeah, she was on drugs
and that drives you up too.
See, I was not medicated
and I got sober
and the sobriety
sobriety
made me dry
so sobriety
so I'm crying but the tears are not
like getting to going down there
you should have used the tears for your boussoir
I should have I didn't so it was like
so you but we were living together
so that's how I already know
before I had a roommate and I knew I was
trashed with that and then I had a girlfriend
and I knew I was kind of bad with that
and so then you know I had to live with another girl
you know because I just monkey barred to the next
you know, living situation.
That's what you do in New York.
You really do.
Oh, no, no, no, baby.
I went from New York to L.A.
To New York.
Back to New York.
Going, going.
Back, back to New York.
No, I said Cali.
And so now I have a situation
where I have a roommate,
but not really.
And they're in and out.
And so now I'm much cleaner.
I'm much cleaner.
I finally learned my lesson.
It's like,
you got to be clean for yourself.
True.
You know,
and you have to be considerate for yourself
oh you never heard that one
that's not in y'all bible
my urban outfitters
my buffalo exchange bible
no baby
the thrift shop bible got pages
missing
girls they better go find me right now
call in we're trying to get
Sydney a new bible
buffalo exchange bible might be the title of the episode
as well that's pretty good
that's pretty good
I mean this is what we do
a bunch of zingers
miss you friend you brought it out of us
hey Nick Cannon I hope you're watching the episode
so you know that we also deserve
a two two beep beep
and honestly I don't mind like
sharing a jeep
cause honestly you don't want me in the car
really drive
well you don't really want me in the car either
so we just have a jeep
we just need the jeep for
pictures so I can sit in the car
and shoot content
like I just got home.
Yes.
Let's do that.
A content jeep.
Yes.
A content jeep.
So now I'm telling you,
Courtney,
that if you start
to be considerate
in general,
it'll just,
it won't,
you won't have to try.
It'll just happen.
Considerate.
Considerate.
Yeah.
Now what that mean?
Exactly.
I was thinking the same thing.
Yeah.
We should put a little
definition here.
Yeah.
Considerate.
Considerate.
What do you think
is being considerate?
What's consideration for you?
kindness
okay
just kindness
thoughtful
thoughtful
I think that's before the kind
thoughtful
listening
listening
listening
yeah
you have to hear
no no you have to listen you can't hear
the sound is
yeah it's traveling but i'm not really taking it in yeah listening is different than hearing
i don't know if i'm hearing that properly listening is better than here it is listen
because you might hear it but you might not take it in absorb it i'm not doing this with y'all
you it's true they're gonna say it they're gonna say it in the comments they're gonna be lying in
the hearing hearing what you hear is a so i hear the the mumbling but listening with i hear the
words and i can tell you exactly what you said to me and it's like synonyms yeah i hear you i'm not
a good listener my ex my ex said i wasn't a good listener he i i would never remember his birthday
you could just put that in the calendar one time and let it repeat forever courtney
yeah when was his birthday you know uh still don't know it july no no i know the day
July 27th
July 4th, you were dating America
July 27th
You could have said
Honestly, 365 days
June and July 27th
It's between
It's either June or July 27th
I'm telling you to have a birthday twice
Can you text him right now?
You know what that is?
Text him right now
You know what that is?
You know
Happy birthday, I know I'm alone
texting him twice is
considerate
that's considerate
text him now
and be like hey I just want to get ahead of it
I'm doing it early
his birthday is in November babe
it's crazy
you can't text him and find out his birthday right now
so this is the thing
we had a rekindle at the beginning of this year
that's before my new guy
at the beginning of this year
and he was like
the biggest part was that you didn't listen
it was like I broke it off
because you didn't
know my birthday and we had been together for
I think we've been together for like two, three years
but my thing was I got
your gifts eventually
I celebrated when you remembered
I said it
when he said something
doesn't that count? Not really
because it's not really thoughtful
because you didn't remember
and I got him the gifts on the birthday
after he told you it was his birthday
If you don't remember his birthday,
that means you're getting the gifts on the...
I'm down his favorite cookie.
What's that?
Levine?
He don't even like that.
He likes it.
Charlie, Chip, and Peanut Butter.
Kourtney, that's weird that you can't remember anything,
but aren't you in an improv show?
It's crazy.
But there's no script.
You just make it up as you go.
You just go.
It makes sense.
Okay, but you don't remember.
Okay, but you have to listen.
I do remember my jokes.
You have to listen,
because improv is all about yes and.
So...
But that's just like white people improv.
Black people improv.
Black people improv.
Black.
Yes.
And.
No.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
And.
I don't know if I've heard yes and or no.
No, never, never, never.
No buts.
No buts.
Nigga no.
Nigga no.
That can't be the title.
That's the title of the episode.
That's the title of the episode.
Nigga no.
that's what it is
that's the title
he should do a show
what's his schedule for tomorrow
can I pitch that to him
yeah
and tell him my uterus don't work
so
oh so I gotta lie
no I think it'd be okay with that
I think it'd be okay with that
uterus should not work
okay okay
I've been like it fell out two years ago
I think he should be done
you think
I don't know but I hope
is he listening or hearing
I can't sleep talking
come on man
come on
come on
come on
Courtney, you have another
mess that you were telling me about.
Oh, which one?
And I love the more mess.
Which one?
The Paris trip.
Oh, love that.
What's your Paris trip?
And I love my best friend.
I just want to be clear.
I love my best friend.
Me and my best friend
have been best friends
since high school.
Okay.
So we're talking about
25 plus years of friendship
and
we went to Paris last year
fell in love
love Paris down
but
wait wait were you celebrating
what was the occasion
oh he wanted to go to see Beyonce
so you were celebrating
yeah true
he wanted to go see Beyonce and I was like
you know why not
Beyonce and Paris let's do it
C'est la vie.
C'est la vie.
Now, didn't Nick Cannon get them tickets as well?
No.
God, no.
Did Beyonce send them?
No.
I wish.
Okay, yep, yep.
But you don't realize how much you've changed
when you're not around each other all the time anymore.
You know what I mean?
Like, we've got, you know, he lived in New York with me at a time.
And then, of course, I left New York and went to L.A.
And so we haven't been around each other for a certain amount of time.
And you, you grow into these different people.
So now you bring in two different people to Paris for two weeks.
Two weeks.
Don't you have a job?
No, no, no.
I'm unemployed.
Unemployed.
Unemployed.
You know?
Yeah.
I'm at work.
I'm at work.
When I'm at work, I'm at work.
You ain't got to go to work, work, work, work.
Paris for two weeks.
Two weeks.
With your bestie.
With my bestie.
And, you know, we just, we do everything differently, you know?
like well you know i'm a social media girl so everything's going online well i'm taking
pictures content you want some content i need somebody to film it you're here why not
courtney that's where i'm gonna stop why is that is that another like um inconsiderate thing
whatever yes because unless your friend is influencer life some people just want to be
in the moment hey that's not allowed in 2026 exactly we're gonna get these fit pics and or
this content, just get it out of the way
we don't take two hours, I'm talking
about literally
quick pic, quick, 10 to
5, 10 to 30 pics
real quick, you know when you're taking a picture
of a woman, actions
hello, no no no, but you guys are never
satisfied, and if
you guys, everybody, no you're not talking
everybody though, you know what
I took a couple
pictures with you, he was like
I don't like them, let's do it again, and I was like
I like these
because the thing
about the photos
we look at ourselves
we say I love this
everybody else can be
and you're like great
and when you post it
I'm untagging myself
I'm gonna undo
you're not getting that
it could be on your page baby but not me
but he didn't want to like
indulge in
he's like, I just live life and I
just experience. I mean, he
didn't want to capture anything. And it was just
like, what kind of phone he got?
Android. Something real.
Android. It's the Google.
It's the Google.
So I didn't have a phone like this.
Oh, not the book.
The Android book is crazy.
Courtney, I will tell you this.
Unless there's a brand
involved and you got some deliverables,
there should be
a limit to how much content we're getting.
Okay, y'all. I'm not talking about content like
take a walk
with me around Paris. Get ready with me
to go see the lunatics. We are talking about
literally
pictures. Okay.
So, it's like
this is simple.
This is not hard.
You know what I mean?
We at the Eiffel Tower,
I want good
pictures. Girl, you got to get a
tripod.
That's what you got to get. You got to get
one of the things that you stick on
that's what you gotta do
what is the stick on thing
she gonna stick it to the Eiffel Tower
you don't have it
oh yeah listen for all you
content hosts
I'm gonna stick it to you bitch
but then how people gonna know
you was at the Eiffel Tower
so this listen look you do this
you can put it on here
and then
oh there's
a malfunction
sure oh now where did you get that where are we sticking this to the eiffel tower they steal in
france though oh yeah you need somebody to take some of your content you do if you want but you
gotta be with people who like to do that there's some people who don't like it hey everybody get
in um there's some people who don't like it and then the pictures are going to show that they
are like here nigga damn here's your fucking photo and you don't want that you don't want
that's why if you just do it the right way the first time i'm not gonna be huffing and puffing
baby are you paying me for that hello no he's in paris let me tell you what i ended up doing
i end up believing him i said you know what you do your trip the way you want to do your trip
i'm gonna do my trip the way i want to do my trip and shoot i went to the museum i made friends
i met people that wanted to take pictures i said strangers strangers strangers it's like you know
what let me take it again let me get your angles because they're not with you the whole trip friend
that's why that's why that's true so they their enthusiasm is like oh my god look at you you got
your radiant your hair looks good i know you had a cute fit on you know of course i saw you oh my
god yes girl yes whenever i take a stranger's picture i almost take it as if that's my friend
and i honestly i want to do good because i don't want them to ask oh can you no no no i can't let
me get it right now and then boom peace
we out but like somebody who's your
friend who is trying to take it
in
yeah friend I'm looking at you
that's mess okay let me say this
for two weeks okay but let me say this
we not talking about a Paris
first timer
we talking about a Paris
he knows
Paris
we need to go to this restaurant this restaurant
we go over here
he been he been seen it
okay that's fair
you know what I'm saying
right
I know you know what I'm saying
you know what I'm saying
shit
he didn't say
you seen it
yeah
I know
it's not your first rodeo
it's not your first rodeo
I mean we were there
during the time of
music day like that
so it's like
DJs
all throughout the streets
I mean
Paris is a lot
yeah
I went to the
to the
to the opera by myself
I outperformed comedy
he didn't even come to the shows.
Because he said, bitch, you didn't ram me through the ring
for the first three days. I'll see you when I
see you. How were the shows?
They were good. They were so
much fun. I enjoyed doing comedy over there.
But I ended up, you know what it taught me?
Is that number one, I don't need anybody
to come with me on an international trip.
So now I'm going into this solo
thing. And then number two,
to just enjoy my own
company. I said, Courtney, you can
go and just enjoy your own company.
You ain't got to have nobody else.
that's true
and I had to force myself
because I'm in Paris
I'm like
you done paid all this money
you gotta get out of the hotel
you know you gotta
so it's like
you have to force yourself
to experience those things
but baby
let me ask
we had to work through
and for him
he's like
I just enjoy
spending time with you
that was great for me
I just love the time
we spent
and I'm just like
I could've
not spent
that's how
we could've did that
domestically
you could've FaceTimed me
hello
this could've been an email
I will literally do
do three to four days
with him
I think that's everybody
that's everybody
nobody should be taking
a two week trip
they should have it
if they take it in chunks
in chunks
and even with your man
even with your partner
no two weeks
you're going to get in a fight
you're going to get tired
something about them
you're going to see them breathe
and you're like
oh why you breathing bitch
like it's a problem
but wait a minute
with this photo thing right
are you asking to take
photos of him first
because sometimes you got to
he don't want to
he just like I don't want to
I'm just saying
he wasn't wearing
he wasn't just
is he ugly
is he ugly
no he's beautiful
so why you don't
want to take photos
the fits were bad
no he flies foot
he missing a tooth
he just don't
I'm telling y'all
I'm about to show y'all
these photos
I'm going to show you
the photos
so that y'all really
understand what I'm saying
let me show y'all
my best Eiffel Tower
picture
okay
okay
okay this nigga
was tripping
the best Eiffel Tower
picture
how many pictures
for J.K. and Jodo
I'm going to show you
I feel like
at least 12
like I said
And some of them, I had some
strangers take. But I will
say this, that like, you know,
not you, Marie. Well,
sometimes. I think,
you know, you want somebody to take a
photo of you, how
you would hope that they see you.
And sometimes, people take photos
and they don't care.
I have a couple pictures.
Girl, you're barely in the photo.
And who is this other person in the photo?
I put a dress on. I put on a heel.
That's the best word. I didn't put on a stocking.
this is not a gay man taking a photo
that's so fucked up
but you're also in a bad
place I've been there
this is yeah
you need to be in the front
nobody wants to see that gate part
that's ugly
that's where the people
are selling trinkets and stuff like that
I didn't even get to that other part
but you needed to move around
he's been in Paris mad times and he couldn't get you into the
Eiffel Tower
you ain't got no hook up about the Eiffel
Where you gonna look up at the iPhone, nigga?
You don't have a connection to the iPhone?
Yeah.
I don't know, girl.
He's never been a friend before.
But you did it wrong.
You did it wrong.
Maybe I did it wrong.
Yeah.
I think so.
Here we go.
You should have been inside.
Girl, this baby was the best picture.
Hooray, duh.
Hooray, duh.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
I said, you know what?
Next time, I'm going to hire a photographer.
No, you don't need that.
You could do that.
No, for real.
You could do that.
To give what I want, because at least to get the shot.
the shot
no friend
you need
I'm telling you
the tripod thing
you go early
or you go at a time
where it's not a ton of people
I've seen people do it
when is there not a ton of people
at the Eiffel Tower
I don't know
go in the off season
she wanted to be there for FET
with the DJs
oh it was
your shit is getting stolen
yeah
it was so much fun
I was supposed to go
again in June
but
yeah
so was I
I love Paris
let me know when you're trying
to go to Paris again
right
we'll see
if our dates
can coincide
right
for real
because I want to go paint
and do all the things
like I just
I love Paris
I literally
I'm like
okay listen
I love my husband
whoever he is
but when he dies
I want to move over
to Europe
so you're not even
met this man yet
but you're saying
when he dies
is that the inconsiderate part
no actually
you're being very considerate
because you're waiting
for him to die
hello
no
that is called listening
yes
I was listening
yes
I heard you
and I listened
I feel seen
listen
it sounds like
you want to be a widow
no you want to be a hot widow
well I think I'm going to outlive
my husband sure you know men
do be dying they be dying first so
yeah but depending on what kind of man you are
they might be you might be dying first
excuse me men typically die first
men typically die first
in my mind
in your mind
in the documentaries y'all die
If the man is white, white, blanquito, alabasta, edgeland, gringo, blush, blush, blush.
He laughing, he like, they right.
Anyway, if you don't see us tomorrow, it's because we did.
R.I.P. baby girl
yo
Courtney
I think that
I understand you want to get content
and it's important but it does
take away from the experience just a smidge
just a little bit
you know and you gotta be able to
I've seen you when you be in a club this you with your hookah
and you like
doing your hair just touching it
and then your eyes
mad low i see how you do friend and then when y'all when you get the light when you bitches get
the light i'm like you have to get them out of here get them bad you gotta get these get them
bad we don't do that here you gotta get these lights away from the phone you got to girl why
are you putting the ring light on the calamaris stop it you gotta see the texture yeah no you
gotta get it how are we supposed to get the kind of people supposed to know you ate if they don't
see a picture of the place
that rhyme
in place
that's so good
she's a rapper
you didn't know that
she's so good
ballin' out
like be ballin' you friend
cause that's good
that's good
ain't no play
Reezy with the cheesy
it's right here
Reezy with the cheesy
damn Courtney
you're a good time though
you're a good time
thank you
and so I feel like
anybody who's with you
is blessed
should be lucky
to be with you
again
either friend
friend
and partner
and partner
I agree
but also
maybe next time
travel with a
with a girl
yeah
girlfriend that likes doing that she's also gonna want to get yeah a guy men don't really care about
stuff like that not really that's fair but i figured because he was gay hello maybe he's not
that kind of guy is he holding your purse gay or he holds his own purse oh okay so if he's holding
his purse bitch this matches my outfit yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe you should have held his purse
he was taking a better picture of you while you was holding the bag he said girl me taking photos
of you i'm the main character how dare you right right now how much of the beyonce concert did he
shoot on his phone i did let me tell you something i shot all of it because he didn't he didn't he
didn't get any footage of it because he really didn't want to be in the moment sis he wanted
to be in the moment so i get that how much for the ticket how much for the ticket um at least
three four five three four that was cheap maybe two but we were how was that lesson
we was on the floor how did you get two hundred dollars we spent five hundred dollars spend money
on the flight yeah that's how but perry no we went to um we're in new jersey
this ain't texas let me see oh yeah it was like oh he's beautiful yeah he's beautiful friend
ain't so much fun
when he used to be
so much fun
like growing up
like when we were
like younger
we got so many stories
but like I said
I think that we've just
grown into different people
he don't even be on
social media like that
he don't
he don't know
what I got going on
so for him it's just like
why am I doing all of this
just feel like it's for work
I need this for work
yeah
yeah but if it's for work
I don't think
there'll be a next time
I don't want to do
any more
there will not be
any more long trips
no
two weeks is too long
but also I think
if you need to get content
like when we went to now marie is good for this right but she's good at content she is but also
it takes a village but for her birthday she was like hey so this dinner is going to be free but
we need to make sure that we're taking stuff and we're posting and we're tagging and it's like
then it makes sense for us to be getting all this stuff because hey this is shit is great right so
we are actually working technically and the restaurant said tag us tag us right so that so
then it made us more inclined
to be like, oh yeah, girl, let me get you. What you
need? What you want? We all
get that right, you know?
So, wait a minute. Is that what you
do? You hit the restaurant and you say,
hey, ba-ba-ba-ba-bee. Me hit the restaurant?
No, no, no. The team. The team hits the restaurant
and says, bee-bee-bee-bee-bee. Hey, we
got this person, this their profile,
their birthday is on this day. Yeah.
What can you do? I don't want to get a
motherfucking team. You do have a team,
friend. How can you do it? No.
Nick is a busy man.
You do a brand.
You're one of the kids to do it.
I see your brand content.
Girl, I got a brand content.
Yes, you do.
The perfumes, the lip gloss.
You doing that for free?
You doing that for the free?
Mm-hmm.
You're doing it on your page?
No, you do it in the stories.
Stories.
Stories is where you do it.
You tag them.
They send you more.
Oh, I don't want product.
I want money.
I feel that, too.
Well, post the product.
You got to post the product to get the money.
They'll send you more, and then they'll get you some money.
Girl.
Once you get the money, then you get the power,
then you get the motherfucking respect.
Oh, that's what Lil' Kim said.
And Lil' Kim.
What you need love?
Money, power, respect.
What?
Courtney,
you're a fabulous. Courtney, you can come back anytime.
Anytime.
This is an incredible
episode. Anything you want to leave
the people with? I love you, Lennies.
Final word, final mess.
Final mess, I guess, be
considering are you gonna try be considering are you gonna try i'm gonna try because you know my
new man he like i said he reached the pizza past the 90-day threshold okay so we like him we love
him he's actually very great and so my goal here is to really work on myself and try to be
considering and take what he says into consideration right but not only take it into consideration but
actually be actionable
and listen with my
yes, with my ears. Now, what he be saying is
what you need to be actionable with.
Well, you know,
he says I don't listen as well. Right.
We're back there. You a badass
kid. That's what you are. A little badass
girl. You the back of the class kid.
You roasting
and everything, not even paying attention.
No books in your backpack.
Coming with the flyest
shoes. Greatest
looks, hair is done, but nothing
in there nothing in there yeah it's just okay important question do you know his birthday
yes september 22nd the day before mine and that's how i know i like him so maybe i didn't like
you know i i there was something but maybe i just went crazy about him to remember but this one i
really do remember his birthday and i'm like okay and that means something because when you start
picking up on things that people like
and want to do and they don't have to tell you
that you're being considerate and that's from
the heart. I'd be wanting to clap. I'd be wanting somebody
to clap for me when I do nice stuff.
Oh.
Courtney.
Thank you. You got all the claps here, friend.
You know what? Messies,
I want you to go to Courtney B's page
when she tells you and put the little clap signs.
Hit her with the clap signs.
Give her a round of
applause, okay?
Because you're doing it, sis.
Spam the page.
Spam her, please.
Run it up.
I know the first three posts that you see.
Run it up.
Clap.
Do it.
Clap for me.
And black hands only.
Black hands.
Black hands only.
What do I mean if you white?
You white people put black hands on.
I don't want to be with black hands.
That's a little weird.
That's black face hands.
Yeah, that's weird.
But just to see white hands on you, I don't want to white.
Sit in.
I'm okay with the white hands.
Sit in.
If you white.
If you white, I'm okay.
Hey, we'll even take the yellow hands.
No, that's inconsiderate.
Because that's the default.
I don't want the jaundice hands.
Jaundice.
Okay.
Jaundice is funny.
And that's the name of the episode.
Jaundice.
Jaundice hands.
Yes.
Courtney, tell everybody what you got coming up, where they can find you, blah, blah, blah.
You know that.
So, listen, y'all.
Make sure y'all follow me on Instagram.
Shoot.
Facebook.
TikTok.
All that.
What's the name?
YouTube.
At the real Courtney B.
that's where you can find me everywhere
also make sure you tune in to Wildin' Out
we're going on tour
so if you see us in your city
make sure you pull up
also make sure you tune in to We Playin' Spades
alright we got more episodes on the way
and
also if you see me in your city
pull up cause you know I'm gonna be doing comedy shows
and uh
that's about it
if you see me in a movie
maybe
let me say this
take care of your Tupperware guys
They carry a Tupperware.
Yes. DM her Tupperware if you need to.
Send me Tupperware. Send her Tupperware.
Cause that bitch put it in the trash.
Put it on the floor. Put it in the trash.
Big mama
no key. Big mama no key.
Big mama
no Tupperware.
Damn, that might
need to be the title of the episode too.
You're fine.
We don't need no Tupperware.
We need to make
That's funny.
Is that bitch talking about something?
She's such a ho.
I know she's still out.
Yes.
Okay.
You guys keep reviewing us.
We love the reviews.
You're doing great on our YouTube.
I think by then we will have 10Ks.
Yeah, we did 10Ks.
We did 10Ks.
Yeah.
On the YouTube.
We'll have two short months.
It's just a few short months.
Thanks to you, Mesties.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin
is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players
and iHeartRadio Podcast.
created and hosted by sydney washington and marie falston executive produced by han sani
super produced by becca ramos edited and mixed by brian jeffries if you would like your messages
read on air please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played
at 763-280-6588
