MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Buffalo Exchange Bible w/ Courtney Bee

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by comedian and friend Courtney Bee! The three discuss dating in LA MESS, Uber driver MESS, roommate MESS, traveling with friends MESS, and more. Don't forget to ...check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at messthepodcast@gmail.com, or call in at (763) 280-6588 to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description oh you listening to mess oh lord of mercy lord of mercy good morning good afternoon good evening good night girl i need a good night okay i need to wrap it up right this morning i know but you You know, I got up early because I said, oh, you know, I'm going to see my friend who has a kid. Oh, you did that? I did that. I went to go see Langston. And the babies?
Starting point is 00:00:34 No. One of the kids is at school. I said, oh, I forgot. They be learning now. And so. So you woke up at what time? I woke up at 7 o'clock. And.
Starting point is 00:00:44 And you got there at? They're at 9-ish. And then he was like, no, I'm not there. He not even there? He was not there. He's like, oh, my. You know, he's got to go get a passport. I said, a baby need a passport?
Starting point is 00:00:55 and so yeah did that and that was cute well you know what really made me tired marie the fact that you woke up at 7 a.m to see a baby child was the child impressive the baby wasn't even there hold on hold on wait i'm not gonna show it here like in the room but i'm gonna show you him and you're gonna be like wait a minute he is so he's like a michelin the Michelin baby. Yeah, girl. The tire baby. You just told us he wasn't at the house. No, but when his son, when he came in with his, I said, oh my
Starting point is 00:01:31 God, the little cheese. He's talking about like rolls. Yeah, it is rolls. Not me calling me his son big. It's not. I love the marshmallow man. The marshmallow man. I love the big little baby. When the baby's
Starting point is 00:01:47 arm got that fold right there. Yes, and his feet is a little crooked feet. They get milk all in their little places. Oh no, that's where you're going to lose me. That's where you're going to lose me. You put the baby socks on and the foot of the leg, they don't have no circulation.
Starting point is 00:02:02 It's very diabetic. Yeah, it is. I wanted to put his whole leg in my mouth. Nom, nom, nom. It's because you didn't eat breakfast. I did not. I'm hungry. Yo, okay, so wait.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Wait, Marie, this was my mess. Yo, I had to get out of LA because the Ubers, I'm sure I've talked about this already, but it's like they don't talk to, it's like they have nobody at home to talk to so when soon as they get in the car it's boom we chat and i get in i do a big he said you know what i know you're tired but can you believe that your lord and savior is alive and well that's what he started with and i said oh i thought i was gonna take it now what came and got you a church fan oh my god girl he had this long-winded
Starting point is 00:02:46 story about how he got robbed but they didn't take any money so you're fine what did they take uh his time that's it they took his time you should have said he was missing teeth so i thought no it's not a tooth girl it's deep it's teeth it's like a whole side of the mouth now when he said they took his time you should have said you taking mine too as well i did but then the way he was like so thankful all the gratitude that he's alive and what he said something told me the spirit i said well the spirit can't tell you that i don't want to talk i don't want to hear this And then he talked about how the mental illness is happening in the streets. And then he went from that to Ozzy Osbourne.
Starting point is 00:03:28 And he met Stevie Wonder. And baby, it was a 25 minute, 30 ride. He talked the whole time. And you know what he's getting? One star. I'm giving one. Let me see. Let me see you give him one star.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Because you're saying that. And I do not believe you're going to give this man a star. Put it out. Do it now. I know I'm saying this but it's so hard don't lie to me in front of the black guests I know
Starting point is 00:03:56 Courtney B you deserve more I don't know if you're going to get in the habit of doing that I ain't got no love for you as soon as he was talking I said oh not this girl unlock the phone I can't he was so happy about talking about he believes
Starting point is 00:04:12 and I said I too believe in that guy or woman or non-binary. You're talking about the Lord? Yes, the Lord. Oh, what version of the Bible are you talking about? I don't know. No LGBTQ. No LGBTQ.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Queen James Version. My God ain't gay. Girl. My God ain't gay. Listen. My Jesus was in sandals. He was definitely gay. he had a little bit of a wedge
Starting point is 00:04:48 he did wear a long drag he did I believe they pronounced that tunic tunic it was giving drag the air was flowing oh man bodied he had a balayage
Starting point is 00:05:02 bust down bust out middle part how long is your god's hair mine come down to his waist that's a good title of the episode how long is your lord's hair okay so that's your mess that's my mess and i i just could not tell him to shut the f up because people be really do be going through things and i said you know what sir if you want to just let it out at at 8 30 in the morning you need this more than not we need i
Starting point is 00:05:31 need to know while this guy is saying all this stuff how are you responding i said oh oh wow that's the standard I'm not listening to you if I'm going mmm I just let him is that so when I hit you with a is that so oh I'm in another dimension babe
Starting point is 00:05:50 but is that so feels like it's too many words she wants more cause when you say is that so they be like it is so and another thing Stevie Wonder not blind now you having a dialogue with this man about LZ
Starting point is 00:06:06 there was no there was no dialogue okay and he was like yeah and stevie wonder's hands was hard as rocks i said whoa you're dragging mr stevie well he didn't know they were dry and i'll allow it i'll allow it and that she and blind man he said he uses a lot of uh instruments that's why his hands are so hard now what's everybody just played the piano yeah what else he played the harmonica oh i guess you don't need hands for that but it's a lot of spit in there his hands should be never thought about how much spit it takes to eat oh listen he can't he can't see but he's definitely on now funky now are people still learning how to play the harmonica in 2026 that's a great question i feel like you would know i don't i don't i don't why would she know because
Starting point is 00:06:54 i feel like there's a lot of um uh those type of artists in la the harmonica i don't think i've heard of harmonica in la yeah i don't think i don't think anybody's playing the harmonica anymore they're not except stevie wonder except stevie wonder and that is wrong with our generation right now if they get on their job lock into your zoom and play the harmonica we would be more together the togetherness would be it's not like you had enough together time in there oh i did i did um i got some mess yeah actually i'm gonna phrase my mess as a question okay okay let You crossed my lane. All right.
Starting point is 00:07:31 So whenever I travel, I hate dating apps. Okay. Right. I think we can all agree that they suck. They trash. They nasty. Um,
Starting point is 00:07:40 but every time I travel to a city outside of New York, I'd be like, well, let me just change my location. See what's out there. Just in case, you know, so I can see,
Starting point is 00:07:48 you know, hashtag Stevie Wonder. And so, um, you know, whenever I'm out of New York, I feel like the guys that I match with, they send in sonnets,
Starting point is 00:07:57 soliloquies, poems I would be remiss if I didn't that was the great word of yesterday is it mess to not tell somebody who is
Starting point is 00:08:12 enamored with me or enamored about me I don't know how that sentence goes if you are let me know what it is to not tell them that I'm only here temporarily or am I supposed to tell them hey you know I live in New York I'm just passing through here is it mess to tell them to not tell them
Starting point is 00:08:28 I think it's funner to tell them. Because, see, if you don't live there, they're going to be sitting up there like, oh, I got to see her now. I got to take her out. Now there's an urgency. But if you like,
Starting point is 00:08:45 oh, I'm here, you know, whatever, and you chill about it, they're going to waste your time. They're going to take forever. They're not going to get to it. They're going to message me when I'm on the flight back. Get to it. Make them spend this cash real quick. Queen, queen, queen.
Starting point is 00:08:58 So you just in here, in town for business? Hey, yes. I'm just passing through. Mm-hmm. And I think men like that anyway, sure. I don't know. I feel like, now this is my, this might be misogynistic of me, but when a man says I'm here, you know, I'm just in town for the weekend, that sounds like, ooh, you have something
Starting point is 00:09:16 else to do. But when a woman's like, yeah, I'm just running through, you're like. Well, not running through. We would also say, for the weekend. We wouldn't say running through. For the weekend. Your man is my man. Okay, SZA.
Starting point is 00:09:35 For the weekend. Yeah. Yeah. So. So what happened? So were you on the app or? Yeah, I am. And it's like two people.
Starting point is 00:09:44 They look like they in the running to be on Becker's next time. Oh, you were in L.A. on this app. Mm-hmm. Oh. I like dating in L.A. Do you? Actually do, yeah. Okay, let's talk about it.
Starting point is 00:09:53 L.A., this is what I'll say. Hold on, before you say it. Okay. Courtney B is in the studio. Yes, Courtney B is in the studio. Courtney B is here, and she is the B stands for beast mode. Beast mode. No, beast mode.
Starting point is 00:10:05 No, I was going to say Courtney booked, okay? Courtney booked. You're very booked. Very booked. Very busy. Very busy. And you're a babe and beautiful. But I digress.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Courtney B. Courtney B. So you like dating in L.A. because? So, okay, now, we met in New York. so you know I used to do the New York thing and New York Dane is just like I swear it's bottom of the barrel but I don't know if I just like hood niggas so
Starting point is 00:10:34 it's just hood shit you know you like hood niggas I like the hood I love a hood nigga so you like somebody so you like them to hook up with you with their Timbs on you like them to keep their Timbs on very Mr. Marcus
Starting point is 00:10:49 if you know you know if you know you nasty miss courtney b if you nasty but laymen they seem to know that they have to take you out they have to like wind it down you and like court you i found i don't know if it's because all of the women here just have this like bougie kind of feel so they just automatically understand that money needs to be spent but I have a blast out here like the men just cater to me and take me out and
Starting point is 00:11:28 I think it's more influencers here and so they're constantly talking about how the guys need to do better and I'm like I'm not coming outside unless you picking me up there's a million influencers in New York also saying the same thing and the men be like the train is not that far from your house
Starting point is 00:11:44 and that's a thing but that's the thing the girls are taking the train the girls are not taking the train here they're not doing public transportation I need to respond to both of these men about tomorrow tomorrow so you have two dates
Starting point is 00:12:00 I'm a double stacker I got two dates one for the yeah have one take you you know to air on real quick and then yeah get you a little smoothie or whatever for $30
Starting point is 00:12:17 and then you go to Nobu at night oh cute Malibu Malibu no no you don't want that no you gotta see the water I wanna see the water
Starting point is 00:12:32 cause the water's so blue so Courtney let's talk so you lived in New York for a little bit you said absolutely not actually no you lived here you were having a good time in New York I was having a great time in New York
Starting point is 00:12:49 I go live to New York and then Nick Cannon called me and was like yo move to cause she having my baby baby baby baby baby baby girl that's who's running the 90s
Starting point is 00:13:04 he bought me a jeep did he buy you a jeep? no for real no he did you didn't see it and it's beautiful but I thought that meant that like the money that you was making with him paid for that He bought you the jeep. I don't even pay the insurance.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Nick, let me get that tune, too. The beat. Yo, Nick, I know how to play spades, okay? I know how to get some cards going. Let's go. Nick, I play well with others. I want a jeep. I promise I won't renege, nigga.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Nick, send me a jeep. See what I'm saying? Anyway, I didn't mean to yell. I lost my composure right there. Yeah, yeah. So in L.A., the men are buying Jeeps, and in New York, they are barely buying anything. MetroCard. Let's get egg and cheese in.
Starting point is 00:13:55 That's it. That's it. And they want to go half on that. And they want to send you a Venmo request. Yes, I'm telling you. I hate that. I hate that. You can't just say it's a bar.
Starting point is 00:14:02 He was like, you done took me to Nobu. I mean, I'm telling you, I've lived a good life. Yeah, and he seems like he really loves you. No, for real. What year is the Jeep? 2024? I feel like it's whatever you moved here. It was whenever I moved here.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Yeah, 2024. One year after. It wasn't pre-owned. It was like, you know. No, no. Yeah, he was like, Pimp My Ride. Costum.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Exhibit. Exhibit, yes. Oh, he pimped. He pimped. He pimped. And you didn't have to pimp. I didn't have to do nothing. Nothing.
Starting point is 00:14:31 You got any plates on that thing or it's just like a little plate? I got his plates on. And you didn't need, and nothing was in the uterus at all. No baby. No baby. No baby.
Starting point is 00:14:45 No baby. Big mama, no kids. you're the real lotto in here you see we have big money players right now and nobody here in the studio has offered to buy me a vehicle and i've been here all week yeah yeah and let me tell you somebody got me a zara dress on sale and thought i was gonna do anal so i'm i'm proud of you for not having anal And he was Italian. Can you believe?
Starting point is 00:15:16 Okay, so what did he look like? Not cute enough for Busta. No, not at all. Busta was like for your husband. I'm saving my booty for my husband. Why? They're not worth that. You might as well just give your booty up. Do it on your turn. Don't save it for nobody.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Make Mike could get some booty. Shut up, Kourtney. Where's HR? You know it's on the internet. you seen it no girl we're not looking at that that shit
Starting point is 00:15:43 he is too big for Busta oh yeah he's major I ain't gonna hold you you gotta see it go look at him no I won't
Starting point is 00:15:52 I actually show me Nick Cannon's penis stop it Marie not on camera it's huge I'm telling you I'm not even bullshit
Starting point is 00:15:58 how big we talking here and let me tell you something I confirmed with his baby mama I said yo this him she said I said oh shit bitch you said
Starting point is 00:16:06 she said absolutely not my Siri said, I don't know how to respond to that. And that's why I like your Siri. She's respectful. we gonna see the dick. No,
Starting point is 00:16:16 no. And my phone don't even understand where dick is. She has a penis. Penis is demure. Dick is large. Dick is big. Yeah. So you say,
Starting point is 00:16:27 you said his penis has a, has a, has his own zip code. Is that what's going on? That's the sign for the Jeep. That's where all the big mamas live in that zip code right there. He filed different taxes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Oh God. He's doing dick tacks. Business tacks. Perfect tacks. His dick got a briefcase, for sure. You know that dick got a briefcase. Dependence, man. Oh, we do.
Starting point is 00:16:49 13 of them. Goodness. Hey, Nick, I too love you. So really, you're pretty much one of his children. Literally. You are dependent. He's got 14. 14 kids.
Starting point is 00:17:01 He's been keeping me alive for these last five years. So no wonder dating is amazing in LA. you're not really expecting too much from me because you're already set. Well, no. I still got rent. I need, you know,
Starting point is 00:17:12 I need... Somebody got to pay that. Somebody got to pay that. And that person is not... Isn't Nick paying that? No. Nick's not paying my rent. Nick is giving cheap.
Starting point is 00:17:20 No. She needs a place to park that chick. No, but he has paid it. I need a new job. He has paid it. Courtney. But I'm dependent.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Like, what Nick will do, he'll give me dependent enough. He'll be like, yo, I got you. You know, I got you. And I get dependent. but you know the thing about showbiz is one minute you're dependent
Starting point is 00:17:39 independent and then the next minute you could be independent so I'll be independent as hell so you telling me I'm dependent you know what I'm trying to say I-N-D-E-P-E N-D-E-N-D do you know what that means
Starting point is 00:17:54 she got her own god she got her own god I'm having two jobs then they be like well that season's over here. So you gotta like, you know, you gotta pace yourself. Yeah, but you are wilding out. Yeah. And Nick doesn't fire people from that, famously.
Starting point is 00:18:12 No, he doesn't. He keeps an open door policy. People come in and out, come back and forth, and you know. So you're saying you haven't given him up an ear or like a belly button? No booty. Has he seen your ta-tas? No, not unless he's been surfing the internet.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Oh, they want to see that? I don't see it. Now I'm going to dig a breast. okay so i have titties yeah and you have breasts okay this is a combo that's cleavage this is bosom but i like bosom more because it just feels more like comforting it's warm bosom is huggable breast yeah right yes you can lie here yeah i can have shelter in a titty might scratch
Starting point is 00:19:00 you yes yeah yeah you would still be shivering with titties oh yeah you're gonna be cold and i'm always cold you're right okay so so you said dating is okay in LA but I like it but you said your mess was something else though what's your man my mess so what is my mess what are we talking about are we going to talk about the fact that i am so like single that i'm okay with single i think i'm looking for my husband because that's what you're supposed to do my husband because i'm reaching 40 we about to hit the 40 mark oh you look amazing thank you it's tricky though because see now all of my 40 friends they starting to freeze
Starting point is 00:20:00 they eggs they starting to do no baby they start they should've these the back of the these the back of the fresh eggs they should've
Starting point is 00:20:07 frosted it whoa bottom of the back of the they on they last leg eggs but they getting them out these the eggs that's leaning to the side
Starting point is 00:20:16 a little bit lean with the rock with it oh my god hey but you know when you ever see the eggs and it said use by
Starting point is 00:20:22 use by you still can use it afterwards like you don't have to have that like I feel like you have 10 days after. This 10 days, you pull this number
Starting point is 00:20:31 out your butt, you chat to me, I tell you that 10 days. It's best buy. So it's actually better when you have it by this date. No, it's best buy meaning you got to do it before that date. I agree. Don't wait for that date to get
Starting point is 00:20:47 the black line. Best buy. Best buy. She said, well, the egg look, it still look good because sometimes hold on well you can't do it with milk but I definitely believe
Starting point is 00:21:02 that you can do it with eggs or anything that was like frozen once you you're not freezing the egg the egg not frozen you talking about
Starting point is 00:21:10 the body eggs I freeze a lot of shit but not the egg no eggs okay you can't freeze that when you get back to the house freezing eggs let me know what your
Starting point is 00:21:17 freezer looks like let me know how those come out the egg is gonna explode the chicken's gonna I love when an egg just gives I'ma get
Starting point is 00:21:28 get it popping no no no please freeze an egg when you get back oh my god okay so your friends are freezing you know why they're probably waiting so late because it's so expensive that's another it's a great you ain't you ain't really got it till you get it yeah so yeah they freeze the eggs and you know there's just decisions that have to be made at this age it's like oh do you want to get married If you get married, then ugh. Why ugh? Because I feel like you have to be considerate.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Relationships are inconveniencing as hell. Yeah. Because you have to think about that person. And I think I might be a little too selfish. It's a thing. I'm an only child. It's being selfish, Max. Is that what we're saying right now?
Starting point is 00:22:13 Well, I think for me, and I kind of get what you're saying. I'm not an only child, but I've lived alone for six years. I can't imagine living with somebody I cannot imagine a man in my house leaving stuff in the sink shoes by the door I come in and he's like how was your day
Starting point is 00:22:29 don't talk to me I just got here the dude I'm dating he told me the other day he said if we ever move in together we get a house he said we're going to have to have another space for me because you're moody and that hurt my feelings
Starting point is 00:22:47 because I was like god damn But are you moody? Moody? Did you notice that I'm moody? Yes, girl. The goal is not for him to notice how moody I am. Am I a bitch? Yes, that's what the bitch stands for.
Starting point is 00:22:57 A bitch. And she did say that up top. I really think I might be a bitch. But what's your sign? Virgo. Virgo. What's your birthday? September 10th.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Okay, on the 23rd. Oh, yes. I see. Virgo, Virgo, Virgo. Professionalist. Yes, you're very professionalist. I would say you're dramatic, and you probably could be a little bitch. the B is lowercase
Starting point is 00:23:21 it's a lowercase B not an uppercase B it's lowercase and it's on the other side bitch is it bitch with like a little apostrophe it got two little dots over the I like Beyonce
Starting point is 00:23:37 couldn't it be couldn't it be so yeah I think I'm just like you know you have to make decisions on whether you want to really pursue this because there are men that actively want to marry and actively want these things or if you want to stay single and it's kind of like but damn i want a nigga when i want
Starting point is 00:23:59 a nigga but then i want a nigga when i want a nigga i think the secret is separate wings of the house separate bedrooms separate floors or he gotta live across carry branch on big remember how she did that yeah but he died so it don't even matter Well, they are separate realms of life. Separate planes. Because I can't hurt you. Whoever you are. It actually probably worked out with her.
Starting point is 00:24:26 I think, Julie, shout out to Peloton for killing that band. It did, come on. Great promo. But I was going to say, you're saying you have to be considerate, but don't you have to be considerate? It's not just in relationships,
Starting point is 00:24:37 it's friendships, it's family, it's work. Like, you don't just say, oh i have to be considerate with just one person there's a ray of people so i think that yes you work on it in a relationship but i think don't you have you have roommates before yeah best friend that bitch make she rest in peace wait what happened what was the mess with that roommate roommates freaking psych and you know what's crazy before i left la literally my roommate served me with papers literally i mean new york when i left new york what what that was don't give us a scoop let me tell you what this bitch did and y'all gonna be like bitch
Starting point is 00:25:17 it's a lot of bitches happening right now let me tell y'all mad bitches what these bitches want from a nigga i had a tupperware already the story is that line alone lets me know let's me know you might be in the wrong I had a Tupperware is the new I had a Tupperware I had a Tupperware is the title of the episode I want that
Starting point is 00:25:47 I had a Tupperware I also like Bush but it might be easier you know to promote sure sure sure I had a Tupperware now let's be clear y'all know how Tupperware get you season it you season your Tupperware your Tupperware season like a cast iron skillet
Starting point is 00:26:05 It's season. Right, right. Tupperware is in the sink. Tupperware is the only thing in the sink. Right. You don't have a dishwasher? No, girl. In New York City? Hello? Okay, listen. How long you had that dishwasher for, Sue?
Starting point is 00:26:22 For a year. Yeah. That's why I knew you was getting money. You know my guarantor are getting money. To the guarantor. She got crispy white walls. That's nice. That's nice.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Okay, so Tupperware. Tupperware is in the sink. So I come out. Tupperware is in the trash. Well, how seasoned was the Tupperware, sis? Because if it's giving gray, we maybe should be switching it out. How long was it in the sink? It was only in the sink for a day.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Are you sure? yes because i know you be out friend no okay tupperware in the sink one day okay then i wake up in the middle of the night i see it in the trash so then i take the tupperware out the trash put it back in the sink now you nasty why you gotta scrub your sink down you don't clean your sink no but it was already in the trash right yeah not at two and three in the morning i'm taking a midnight piss it's just it's just put it back in the sink because the point is bitch is here
Starting point is 00:27:33 to stay okay this Tupperware is on the lease bank oh yeah it's on the lease did your great grandmother pass down this Tupperware
Starting point is 00:27:41 like why no no it's principal okay this is a principal story Sydney you just be throwing Tupperware in the trash
Starting point is 00:27:47 yeah who throws away Tupperware you that's how you that's your it's in the recycling isn't Tupperware like one of them things
Starting point is 00:27:55 that you keep for generations you're supposed to reuse it yeah it's an heirloom it's an heirloom I've never put it in the way
Starting point is 00:28:03 I have thrown Tupperware away before but it was more like the delivery delivery Tupperware literal zip lock yeah yeah with the blue top or the maroon top I just want to let you know this Tupperware is is giving people cancer
Starting point is 00:28:19 and that's why the generations are really you do not have to go there that's crazy people ain't staying alive anymore because of the Tupperware polyester is giving people cancer deodorant with aluminum you still use that lease front is giving people cancer
Starting point is 00:28:36 lashes going Dutch on dates is giving people cancer this is why the men have to pay men don't understand that I just want to be healthy you bringing it back to that pay the way you way hey
Starting point is 00:28:51 so you took the Tupperware out of the trash put it back in the sink I go to sleep I wake up the next morning Tupperware in trash trash taken out. How do you know it's the trash you went in and opened the bag?
Starting point is 00:29:08 Tupperware is out, see? There's a new trash bag. This bitch in Tupperware put in the trash, threw the trash out. Was it even trash pick up bag? That's what I was going to say. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:29:20 But also I was like, was the trash full? Listen, I don't even know. All you know is everything's gone. But what I'm saying is I started seeing red. I started seeing red. because you know what
Starting point is 00:29:31 I couldn't believe the boldness right the audacity the gall the gall that's who you think you is so you already know I go to the group
Starting point is 00:29:48 group chat not the chat the chat because it was three room I ain't three room oh girl you was doing that because you want to find out who you was doing that
Starting point is 00:29:56 I was in a group room you were in a group room a little halfway a little halfway three roommates one Tupperware that's great that might be the title
Starting point is 00:30:05 of the episode well three girls one cup is chaotic no three girls one Tupperware hello
Starting point is 00:30:13 I'm in a group chat bitch y'all know not you started with it yes not even a to whom it may concern where the fuck
Starting point is 00:30:21 is my Tupperware bitch where the fuck is my Tupperware we need to make merch that bitch was bold she said she threw it out Bitch, you got me fucked up. You better bring a new motherfucking
Starting point is 00:30:31 Tupperware up in this house. Well, I'm glad that she was honest. You know, I hate when you have to do that. You know, who did the murder mystery? She was sneaky and then honest. She started going off on me. I started going off on her. The bitch was like,
Starting point is 00:30:43 I owe this shit. I told her she needs some dick because she don't never have no dick coming up in there. Well, it's... Wait, wait, hold on. Yes, the bitch was rude. I like the bitch.
Starting point is 00:30:54 But there's no room for the dick. It's about 750,000 of y'all in the room. Let me tell you something. There's room for some dick at all times. Oh, Lord. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:04 I was getting some dick through there. To be honest, dick don't really need that much space. Okay. Dick don't need a lot of space. Dick don't even require anything.
Starting point is 00:31:11 You don't even need a room for dick. You don't need money for dick? Like, dick is free. Dick doesn't require it. It's free. Dick is literally free. It's for the community.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Dick is a soup kitchen, for sure. The way they pass it out. They're like, oh, here's a scoop for you and a scoop for you. Hey, you want your free dick? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:28 make sure you want to take some dick this is a CVS receipt make sure you get your dick on the way out I love dick to go that might be the time I went off on that bitch that bitch said I want you out bitch I ain't going nowhere hoe
Starting point is 00:31:44 she said she wanted you out she said she wanted me out over some Tupperware I ain't going nowhere hoe did she say why she threw it away she didn't say none of that that bitch was being spiteful she a spiteful
Starting point is 00:31:58 little cunning ass bitch and I know she's still lit here too bitch now had y'all had issues in the past yeah because we went through
Starting point is 00:32:06 the pandemic together oh so you gotta understand like and I ain't gonna lie I love my space my space was like it was the biggest room
Starting point is 00:32:14 it was just nice like I liked like my apartment you have pictures of it um you might need it for the dump you need it for the dump maybe not though
Starting point is 00:32:23 but I'll show you you know send us a picture of the Tupperware yeah for the dump yes you say you keep it as long as you can
Starting point is 00:32:31 so you should have it I'm going to find it I'm going to find just the beat up one it's going to be red from pasta sauce that's what it was so okay so y'all were in the pandemic y'all had some issues well I mean the issues were like
Starting point is 00:32:46 I blare my music too loud I was disrespectful like that I ain't going to hold you you know and you were young you got to listen to what the fuck I'm listening to what I'm listening to is shit. What you starting your day off with? What songs? Nigga, I be going in.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Let me hear it. I'm listening to Boss Man D-Low. Oh, boy. You know, sometimes she'll get a gospel. Now I know she was a gospel girl. And you're like, do I need a revolution?
Starting point is 00:33:10 She was not a gospel girl. You know what I'm saying? Christians don't throw away Tupperware. Exactly. That's not biblical. You know, we had gone through some things together, but again,
Starting point is 00:33:20 we were still like cordial, you know, stuff like that. But when we argue, we already argued and so she was like I want you out and I was like bitch I ain't going nowhere and so then
Starting point is 00:33:31 I'm in my room I get this knock on the door and this man served me paper she worked fast wait a minute she was home too I said okay hoe I said bitch I'm going to court
Starting point is 00:33:47 let's go cut to y'all on Judge Judy Judge Mathis I'm putting on my one inch of you and I'm marching in the courts. That's the kitten law. That's the kitten law. The law and order kitten law.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Itty bitty. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. I got a baby on that too. I know you got a baby. I know you got a baby. Itty bitty kitten. Yeah. Because you want them to respect you.
Starting point is 00:34:12 I was ready for that whole, this is how I got out of work though. This is why it's crazy. That happened literally the next day I had a show in Brooklyn, right? I get a call from Nick. yo it's time now i don't believe him because it had taken him a while to even call me for for for the first like the first like he had called me before it was like yo we gonna do
Starting point is 00:34:33 this in december but then december had passed january passed you know all these months have passed so then call back he was like yo what's happening and i was like okay literally the next day they start calling me like yo let's let's work out the logistics blah blah blah you got 10 days to get here. That's how quick it happened. So you got served and then you got a Jeep? And then I moved the fuck out. And I ain't even tell the bitch. I literally moved
Starting point is 00:34:57 my shit out at night. Like a peep in the night. But Courtney, I don't believe you was being quiet on that move, that nighttime move. I believe you had a soundtrack playing. You had to. The bosses was hitting her doorknob. I don't believe you slammed the door shut. In the middle of the night. It did. I know you have
Starting point is 00:35:13 those house shoes that go... You know I do. I love a shit, shit, shit. I literally shushed your shit all the time. Like, there's no back on my house shit. I love that sound. I love that sound. That's how you know
Starting point is 00:35:29 a house is a home. It's soothing. It's a soothing sound. I mean, we're like, pick up your feet. No. No. I'm at home. That's how you know. That's how you know I'm comfortable. I'm here. This is mine. Exactly. You know?
Starting point is 00:35:45 it's still fuck that bitch so the timing so did you ever go to court no I never had to go to court because I just exited stage left because that's why your God don't play
Starting point is 00:35:56 about you and that's it ain't I good all the time all the time God is good see what I'm saying except for the non-binary God
Starting point is 00:36:08 that's the deal oh my God my non-binary God was like well hold on now My Urban Outfitters Lord Hold on
Starting point is 00:36:17 Your lord wear Urban Outfitters Clearance rack Cause it's frugal They're frugal Yeah he was Jay was a man of the people They They
Starting point is 00:36:29 They and them Them Them Well it's not like it worked out for you It did It definitely worked out for me But it still fucked that bitch I've had a lot of fucked up roommates though
Starting point is 00:36:39 Roommates suck Roommates do suck roommate i ever had i knew was gonna be the last roommate i would ever have really how long have you been by yourself six years you lucky but i said i just said like i had had roommates my entire life i'm i'm the middle child of three so like i've never not had my people i've never had my own yeah so um actually that's not true i had my own oh i forgot about that lol you said don't get me to lying I said hold on
Starting point is 00:37:08 I did I think it is blue anyway yeah she was like nice but she would leave things in the sink
Starting point is 00:37:16 for days at a time and that's a thing and I hated how she stacked stuff it'd be like a cup a fork a plate
Starting point is 00:37:23 a cast iron and it was so jenga I'm like I need a knife at the bottom that's that Dr. Seuss shit remember the one where he's
Starting point is 00:37:31 stacking everything everything is stacked so that pissed me off more than the fact that it was stuck in there It was like, why is everything on this teaspoon? Yeah. And I was like, oh, I will never live with somebody ever again.
Starting point is 00:37:44 And I was able to move out after my lease was up. And then the pandemic happened a couple months later. And I was like, whoo. So you moved out right before the pandemic and got your own place. Damn. Yeah. Did you lie to me about yourself during the pandemic? I did.
Starting point is 00:37:59 And then I didn't. Pandemic was tricky. I didn't need it. Yeah. Yeah. but see I like I love living with people
Starting point is 00:38:08 I'm the bad roommate I'm the bad roommate me too maybe a little no no no now that I think about it I won't keep my place my area clean okay but I try to do the
Starting point is 00:38:24 communal system you know I try to do right by that but that's very hard because I do I am a type B ADHD quarter-ish yeah so I might be the person I'm not stacking I'm not doing that because stacking
Starting point is 00:38:39 actually feels like type A it's like you're organizing things I'm just doing it yeah dishes well that's why I use a plastic fork and I'm going to use every time that place are you a plastic fork washer
Starting point is 00:38:54 she's throwing away Tupperware she's not washing a plastic fork no she sounds like a plastic fork because sometimes you know the delivery they don't give you utensils so sometimes it's like well hold on i got i got that one good i got an heirloom fork and knife set but sydney you have actual silverware sydney was just talking about cancer and t-shirts and you're reusing have you seen those old flimsy forks The one prong that I do, she be using a KFC spork.
Starting point is 00:39:29 The spork. The spork. I love a good spork. A two-in-one. Get into it. Get out of it. Get out of it. You got to get out of that with a spork.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Yeah, I love a spork. You got to scoop everything with a spork. Yeah, when I lived with my ex and we lived in Bushwick, I was a bad roommate. You know, it's like, so you not giving up no cat and you not washing no dishes? You wasn't giving up no cat? You should have been giving up some cat. I was depressed. You don't have to be sad.
Starting point is 00:39:56 You don't have to be sad and not give up no cat and not do no dishes and reuse a fork. Most depressed women like to fuck, no? Oh, no. Am I?
Starting point is 00:40:05 Isn't that a thing? No. Is that? I don't think that's a thing. That's not a thing? No, no. There's some... Angelina Jolie
Starting point is 00:40:11 and Girl Interrupted was fucking, wasn't she? Was she depressed? I think she was on drugs. Okay, she might have been crazy. Yeah, she was on drugs and that drives you up too.
Starting point is 00:40:18 See, I was not medicated and I got sober and the sobriety sobriety made me dry so sobriety so I'm crying but the tears are not like getting to going down there
Starting point is 00:40:34 you should have used the tears for your boussoir I should have I didn't so it was like so you but we were living together so that's how I already know before I had a roommate and I knew I was trashed with that and then I had a girlfriend and I knew I was kind of bad with that and so then you know I had to live with another girl
Starting point is 00:40:50 you know because I just monkey barred to the next you know, living situation. That's what you do in New York. You really do. Oh, no, no, no, baby. I went from New York to L.A. To New York. Back to New York.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Going, going. Back, back to New York. No, I said Cali. And so now I have a situation where I have a roommate, but not really. And they're in and out. And so now I'm much cleaner.
Starting point is 00:41:16 I'm much cleaner. I finally learned my lesson. It's like, you got to be clean for yourself. True. You know, and you have to be considerate for yourself oh you never heard that one
Starting point is 00:41:26 that's not in y'all bible my urban outfitters my buffalo exchange bible no baby the thrift shop bible got pages missing girls they better go find me right now call in we're trying to get
Starting point is 00:41:43 Sydney a new bible buffalo exchange bible might be the title of the episode as well that's pretty good that's pretty good I mean this is what we do a bunch of zingers miss you friend you brought it out of us hey Nick Cannon I hope you're watching the episode
Starting point is 00:41:57 so you know that we also deserve a two two beep beep and honestly I don't mind like sharing a jeep cause honestly you don't want me in the car really drive well you don't really want me in the car either so we just have a jeep
Starting point is 00:42:13 we just need the jeep for pictures so I can sit in the car and shoot content like I just got home. Yes. Let's do that. A content jeep. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:24 A content jeep. So now I'm telling you, Courtney, that if you start to be considerate in general, it'll just, it won't,
Starting point is 00:42:33 you won't have to try. It'll just happen. Considerate. Considerate. Yeah. Now what that mean? Exactly. I was thinking the same thing.
Starting point is 00:42:41 Yeah. We should put a little definition here. Yeah. Considerate. Considerate. What do you think is being considerate?
Starting point is 00:42:46 What's consideration for you? kindness okay just kindness thoughtful thoughtful I think that's before the kind thoughtful
Starting point is 00:43:01 listening listening listening yeah you have to hear no no you have to listen you can't hear the sound is yeah it's traveling but i'm not really taking it in yeah listening is different than hearing
Starting point is 00:43:21 i don't know if i'm hearing that properly listening is better than here it is listen because you might hear it but you might not take it in absorb it i'm not doing this with y'all you it's true they're gonna say it they're gonna say it in the comments they're gonna be lying in the hearing hearing what you hear is a so i hear the the mumbling but listening with i hear the words and i can tell you exactly what you said to me and it's like synonyms yeah i hear you i'm not a good listener my ex my ex said i wasn't a good listener he i i would never remember his birthday you could just put that in the calendar one time and let it repeat forever courtney yeah when was his birthday you know uh still don't know it july no no i know the day
Starting point is 00:44:11 July 27th July 4th, you were dating America July 27th You could have said Honestly, 365 days June and July 27th It's between It's either June or July 27th
Starting point is 00:44:28 I'm telling you to have a birthday twice Can you text him right now? You know what that is? Text him right now You know what that is? You know Happy birthday, I know I'm alone texting him twice is
Starting point is 00:44:41 considerate that's considerate text him now and be like hey I just want to get ahead of it I'm doing it early his birthday is in November babe it's crazy you can't text him and find out his birthday right now
Starting point is 00:44:56 so this is the thing we had a rekindle at the beginning of this year that's before my new guy at the beginning of this year and he was like the biggest part was that you didn't listen it was like I broke it off because you didn't
Starting point is 00:45:13 know my birthday and we had been together for I think we've been together for like two, three years but my thing was I got your gifts eventually I celebrated when you remembered I said it when he said something doesn't that count? Not really
Starting point is 00:45:28 because it's not really thoughtful because you didn't remember and I got him the gifts on the birthday after he told you it was his birthday If you don't remember his birthday, that means you're getting the gifts on the... I'm down his favorite cookie. What's that?
Starting point is 00:45:43 Levine? He don't even like that. He likes it. Charlie, Chip, and Peanut Butter. Kourtney, that's weird that you can't remember anything, but aren't you in an improv show? It's crazy. But there's no script.
Starting point is 00:45:54 You just make it up as you go. You just go. It makes sense. Okay, but you don't remember. Okay, but you have to listen. I do remember my jokes. You have to listen, because improv is all about yes and.
Starting point is 00:46:05 So... But that's just like white people improv. Black people improv. Black people improv. Black. Yes. And. No.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Yes. Yes. Yes. And. I don't know if I've heard yes and or no. No, never, never, never. No buts. No buts.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Nigga no. Nigga no. That can't be the title. That's the title of the episode. That's the title of the episode. Nigga no. that's what it is that's the title
Starting point is 00:46:41 he should do a show what's his schedule for tomorrow can I pitch that to him yeah and tell him my uterus don't work so oh so I gotta lie no I think it'd be okay with that
Starting point is 00:47:00 I think it'd be okay with that uterus should not work okay okay I've been like it fell out two years ago I think he should be done you think I don't know but I hope is he listening or hearing
Starting point is 00:47:13 I can't sleep talking come on man come on come on come on Courtney, you have another mess that you were telling me about. Oh, which one?
Starting point is 00:47:44 And I love the more mess. Which one? The Paris trip. Oh, love that. What's your Paris trip? And I love my best friend. I just want to be clear. I love my best friend.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Me and my best friend have been best friends since high school. Okay. So we're talking about 25 plus years of friendship and we went to Paris last year
Starting point is 00:48:07 fell in love love Paris down but wait wait were you celebrating what was the occasion oh he wanted to go to see Beyonce so you were celebrating yeah true
Starting point is 00:48:22 he wanted to go see Beyonce and I was like you know why not Beyonce and Paris let's do it C'est la vie. C'est la vie. Now, didn't Nick Cannon get them tickets as well? No. God, no.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Did Beyonce send them? No. I wish. Okay, yep, yep. But you don't realize how much you've changed when you're not around each other all the time anymore. You know what I mean? Like, we've got, you know, he lived in New York with me at a time.
Starting point is 00:48:51 And then, of course, I left New York and went to L.A. And so we haven't been around each other for a certain amount of time. And you, you grow into these different people. So now you bring in two different people to Paris for two weeks. Two weeks. Don't you have a job? No, no, no. I'm unemployed.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Unemployed. Unemployed. You know? Yeah. I'm at work. I'm at work. When I'm at work, I'm at work. You ain't got to go to work, work, work, work.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Paris for two weeks. Two weeks. With your bestie. With my bestie. And, you know, we just, we do everything differently, you know? like well you know i'm a social media girl so everything's going online well i'm taking pictures content you want some content i need somebody to film it you're here why not courtney that's where i'm gonna stop why is that is that another like um inconsiderate thing
Starting point is 00:49:43 whatever yes because unless your friend is influencer life some people just want to be in the moment hey that's not allowed in 2026 exactly we're gonna get these fit pics and or this content, just get it out of the way we don't take two hours, I'm talking about literally quick pic, quick, 10 to 5, 10 to 30 pics real quick, you know when you're taking a picture
Starting point is 00:50:07 of a woman, actions hello, no no no, but you guys are never satisfied, and if you guys, everybody, no you're not talking everybody though, you know what I took a couple pictures with you, he was like I don't like them, let's do it again, and I was like
Starting point is 00:50:23 I like these because the thing about the photos we look at ourselves we say I love this everybody else can be and you're like great and when you post it
Starting point is 00:50:40 I'm untagging myself I'm gonna undo you're not getting that it could be on your page baby but not me but he didn't want to like indulge in he's like, I just live life and I just experience. I mean, he
Starting point is 00:50:56 didn't want to capture anything. And it was just like, what kind of phone he got? Android. Something real. Android. It's the Google. It's the Google. So I didn't have a phone like this. Oh, not the book. The Android book is crazy.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Courtney, I will tell you this. Unless there's a brand involved and you got some deliverables, there should be a limit to how much content we're getting. Okay, y'all. I'm not talking about content like take a walk with me around Paris. Get ready with me
Starting point is 00:51:28 to go see the lunatics. We are talking about literally pictures. Okay. So, it's like this is simple. This is not hard. You know what I mean? We at the Eiffel Tower,
Starting point is 00:51:43 I want good pictures. Girl, you got to get a tripod. That's what you got to get. You got to get one of the things that you stick on that's what you gotta do what is the stick on thing she gonna stick it to the Eiffel Tower
Starting point is 00:51:58 you don't have it oh yeah listen for all you content hosts I'm gonna stick it to you bitch but then how people gonna know you was at the Eiffel Tower so this listen look you do this you can put it on here
Starting point is 00:52:14 and then oh there's a malfunction sure oh now where did you get that where are we sticking this to the eiffel tower they steal in france though oh yeah you need somebody to take some of your content you do if you want but you gotta be with people who like to do that there's some people who don't like it hey everybody get in um there's some people who don't like it and then the pictures are going to show that they are like here nigga damn here's your fucking photo and you don't want that you don't want
Starting point is 00:52:46 that's why if you just do it the right way the first time i'm not gonna be huffing and puffing baby are you paying me for that hello no he's in paris let me tell you what i ended up doing i end up believing him i said you know what you do your trip the way you want to do your trip i'm gonna do my trip the way i want to do my trip and shoot i went to the museum i made friends i met people that wanted to take pictures i said strangers strangers strangers it's like you know what let me take it again let me get your angles because they're not with you the whole trip friend that's why that's why that's true so they their enthusiasm is like oh my god look at you you got your radiant your hair looks good i know you had a cute fit on you know of course i saw you oh my
Starting point is 00:53:31 god yes girl yes whenever i take a stranger's picture i almost take it as if that's my friend and i honestly i want to do good because i don't want them to ask oh can you no no no i can't let me get it right now and then boom peace we out but like somebody who's your friend who is trying to take it in yeah friend I'm looking at you that's mess okay let me say this
Starting point is 00:53:52 for two weeks okay but let me say this we not talking about a Paris first timer we talking about a Paris he knows Paris we need to go to this restaurant this restaurant we go over here
Starting point is 00:54:07 he been he been seen it okay that's fair you know what I'm saying right I know you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying shit he didn't say
Starting point is 00:54:22 you seen it yeah I know it's not your first rodeo it's not your first rodeo I mean we were there during the time of music day like that
Starting point is 00:54:30 so it's like DJs all throughout the streets I mean Paris is a lot yeah I went to the to the
Starting point is 00:54:37 to the opera by myself I outperformed comedy he didn't even come to the shows. Because he said, bitch, you didn't ram me through the ring for the first three days. I'll see you when I see you. How were the shows? They were good. They were so much fun. I enjoyed doing comedy over there.
Starting point is 00:54:52 But I ended up, you know what it taught me? Is that number one, I don't need anybody to come with me on an international trip. So now I'm going into this solo thing. And then number two, to just enjoy my own company. I said, Courtney, you can go and just enjoy your own company.
Starting point is 00:55:08 You ain't got to have nobody else. that's true and I had to force myself because I'm in Paris I'm like you done paid all this money you gotta get out of the hotel you know you gotta
Starting point is 00:55:16 so it's like you have to force yourself to experience those things but baby let me ask we had to work through and for him he's like
Starting point is 00:55:25 I just enjoy spending time with you that was great for me I just love the time we spent and I'm just like I could've not spent
Starting point is 00:55:33 that's how we could've did that domestically you could've FaceTimed me hello this could've been an email I will literally do do three to four days
Starting point is 00:55:41 with him I think that's everybody that's everybody nobody should be taking a two week trip they should have it if they take it in chunks in chunks
Starting point is 00:55:49 and even with your man even with your partner no two weeks you're going to get in a fight you're going to get tired something about them you're going to see them breathe and you're like
Starting point is 00:55:56 oh why you breathing bitch like it's a problem but wait a minute with this photo thing right are you asking to take photos of him first because sometimes you got to he don't want to
Starting point is 00:56:06 he just like I don't want to I'm just saying he wasn't wearing he wasn't just is he ugly is he ugly no he's beautiful so why you don't
Starting point is 00:56:13 want to take photos the fits were bad no he flies foot he missing a tooth he just don't I'm telling y'all I'm about to show y'all these photos
Starting point is 00:56:20 I'm going to show you the photos so that y'all really understand what I'm saying let me show y'all my best Eiffel Tower picture okay
Starting point is 00:56:27 okay okay this nigga was tripping the best Eiffel Tower picture how many pictures for J.K. and Jodo I'm going to show you
Starting point is 00:56:35 I feel like at least 12 like I said And some of them, I had some strangers take. But I will say this, that like, you know, not you, Marie. Well, sometimes. I think,
Starting point is 00:56:48 you know, you want somebody to take a photo of you, how you would hope that they see you. And sometimes, people take photos and they don't care. I have a couple pictures. Girl, you're barely in the photo. And who is this other person in the photo?
Starting point is 00:57:02 I put a dress on. I put on a heel. That's the best word. I didn't put on a stocking. this is not a gay man taking a photo that's so fucked up but you're also in a bad place I've been there this is yeah you need to be in the front
Starting point is 00:57:18 nobody wants to see that gate part that's ugly that's where the people are selling trinkets and stuff like that I didn't even get to that other part but you needed to move around he's been in Paris mad times and he couldn't get you into the Eiffel Tower
Starting point is 00:57:33 you ain't got no hook up about the Eiffel Where you gonna look up at the iPhone, nigga? You don't have a connection to the iPhone? Yeah. I don't know, girl. He's never been a friend before. But you did it wrong. You did it wrong.
Starting point is 00:57:44 Maybe I did it wrong. Yeah. I think so. Here we go. You should have been inside. Girl, this baby was the best picture. Hooray, duh. Hooray, duh.
Starting point is 00:57:55 Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I said, you know what? Next time, I'm going to hire a photographer. No, you don't need that. You could do that. No, for real. You could do that.
Starting point is 00:58:03 To give what I want, because at least to get the shot. the shot no friend you need I'm telling you the tripod thing you go early or you go at a time
Starting point is 00:58:13 where it's not a ton of people I've seen people do it when is there not a ton of people at the Eiffel Tower I don't know go in the off season she wanted to be there for FET with the DJs
Starting point is 00:58:23 oh it was your shit is getting stolen yeah it was so much fun I was supposed to go again in June but yeah
Starting point is 00:58:30 so was I I love Paris let me know when you're trying to go to Paris again right we'll see if our dates can coincide
Starting point is 00:58:37 right for real because I want to go paint and do all the things like I just I love Paris I literally I'm like
Starting point is 00:58:42 okay listen I love my husband whoever he is but when he dies I want to move over to Europe so you're not even met this man yet
Starting point is 00:58:50 but you're saying when he dies is that the inconsiderate part no actually you're being very considerate because you're waiting for him to die hello
Starting point is 00:58:57 no that is called listening yes I was listening yes I heard you and I listened I feel seen
Starting point is 00:59:05 listen it sounds like you want to be a widow no you want to be a hot widow well I think I'm going to outlive my husband sure you know men do be dying they be dying first so yeah but depending on what kind of man you are
Starting point is 00:59:21 they might be you might be dying first excuse me men typically die first men typically die first in my mind in your mind in the documentaries y'all die If the man is white, white, blanquito, alabasta, edgeland, gringo, blush, blush, blush. He laughing, he like, they right.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Anyway, if you don't see us tomorrow, it's because we did. R.I.P. baby girl yo Courtney I think that I understand you want to get content and it's important but it does take away from the experience just a smidge
Starting point is 01:00:17 just a little bit you know and you gotta be able to I've seen you when you be in a club this you with your hookah and you like doing your hair just touching it and then your eyes mad low i see how you do friend and then when y'all when you get the light when you bitches get the light i'm like you have to get them out of here get them bad you gotta get these get them
Starting point is 01:00:39 bad we don't do that here you gotta get these lights away from the phone you got to girl why are you putting the ring light on the calamaris stop it you gotta see the texture yeah no you gotta get it how are we supposed to get the kind of people supposed to know you ate if they don't see a picture of the place that rhyme in place that's so good she's a rapper
Starting point is 01:00:59 you didn't know that she's so good ballin' out like be ballin' you friend cause that's good that's good ain't no play Reezy with the cheesy
Starting point is 01:01:06 it's right here Reezy with the cheesy damn Courtney you're a good time though you're a good time thank you and so I feel like anybody who's with you
Starting point is 01:01:14 is blessed should be lucky to be with you again either friend friend and partner and partner
Starting point is 01:01:20 I agree but also maybe next time travel with a with a girl yeah girlfriend that likes doing that she's also gonna want to get yeah a guy men don't really care about stuff like that not really that's fair but i figured because he was gay hello maybe he's not
Starting point is 01:01:35 that kind of guy is he holding your purse gay or he holds his own purse oh okay so if he's holding his purse bitch this matches my outfit yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe you should have held his purse he was taking a better picture of you while you was holding the bag he said girl me taking photos of you i'm the main character how dare you right right now how much of the beyonce concert did he shoot on his phone i did let me tell you something i shot all of it because he didn't he didn't he didn't get any footage of it because he really didn't want to be in the moment sis he wanted to be in the moment so i get that how much for the ticket how much for the ticket um at least three four five three four that was cheap maybe two but we were how was that lesson
Starting point is 01:02:22 we was on the floor how did you get two hundred dollars we spent five hundred dollars spend money on the flight yeah that's how but perry no we went to um we're in new jersey this ain't texas let me see oh yeah it was like oh he's beautiful yeah he's beautiful friend ain't so much fun when he used to be so much fun like growing up like when we were
Starting point is 01:02:49 like younger we got so many stories but like I said I think that we've just grown into different people he don't even be on social media like that he don't
Starting point is 01:02:57 he don't know what I got going on so for him it's just like why am I doing all of this just feel like it's for work I need this for work yeah yeah but if it's for work
Starting point is 01:03:05 I don't think there'll be a next time I don't want to do any more there will not be any more long trips no two weeks is too long
Starting point is 01:03:11 but also I think if you need to get content like when we went to now marie is good for this right but she's good at content she is but also it takes a village but for her birthday she was like hey so this dinner is going to be free but we need to make sure that we're taking stuff and we're posting and we're tagging and it's like then it makes sense for us to be getting all this stuff because hey this is shit is great right so we are actually working technically and the restaurant said tag us tag us right so that so then it made us more inclined
Starting point is 01:03:41 to be like, oh yeah, girl, let me get you. What you need? What you want? We all get that right, you know? So, wait a minute. Is that what you do? You hit the restaurant and you say, hey, ba-ba-ba-ba-bee. Me hit the restaurant? No, no, no. The team. The team hits the restaurant and says, bee-bee-bee-bee-bee. Hey, we
Starting point is 01:03:57 got this person, this their profile, their birthday is on this day. Yeah. What can you do? I don't want to get a motherfucking team. You do have a team, friend. How can you do it? No. Nick is a busy man. You do a brand. You're one of the kids to do it.
Starting point is 01:04:11 I see your brand content. Girl, I got a brand content. Yes, you do. The perfumes, the lip gloss. You doing that for free? You doing that for the free? Mm-hmm. You're doing it on your page?
Starting point is 01:04:22 No, you do it in the stories. Stories. Stories is where you do it. You tag them. They send you more. Oh, I don't want product. I want money. I feel that, too.
Starting point is 01:04:31 Well, post the product. You got to post the product to get the money. They'll send you more, and then they'll get you some money. Girl. Once you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the motherfucking respect. Oh, that's what Lil' Kim said. And Lil' Kim.
Starting point is 01:04:44 What you need love? Money, power, respect. What? Courtney, you're a fabulous. Courtney, you can come back anytime. Anytime. This is an incredible episode. Anything you want to leave
Starting point is 01:04:58 the people with? I love you, Lennies. Final word, final mess. Final mess, I guess, be considering are you gonna try be considering are you gonna try i'm gonna try because you know my new man he like i said he reached the pizza past the 90-day threshold okay so we like him we love him he's actually very great and so my goal here is to really work on myself and try to be considering and take what he says into consideration right but not only take it into consideration but actually be actionable
Starting point is 01:05:33 and listen with my yes, with my ears. Now, what he be saying is what you need to be actionable with. Well, you know, he says I don't listen as well. Right. We're back there. You a badass kid. That's what you are. A little badass girl. You the back of the class kid.
Starting point is 01:05:51 You roasting and everything, not even paying attention. No books in your backpack. Coming with the flyest shoes. Greatest looks, hair is done, but nothing in there nothing in there yeah it's just okay important question do you know his birthday yes september 22nd the day before mine and that's how i know i like him so maybe i didn't like
Starting point is 01:06:16 you know i i there was something but maybe i just went crazy about him to remember but this one i really do remember his birthday and i'm like okay and that means something because when you start picking up on things that people like and want to do and they don't have to tell you that you're being considerate and that's from the heart. I'd be wanting to clap. I'd be wanting somebody to clap for me when I do nice stuff. Oh.
Starting point is 01:06:40 Courtney. Thank you. You got all the claps here, friend. You know what? Messies, I want you to go to Courtney B's page when she tells you and put the little clap signs. Hit her with the clap signs. Give her a round of applause, okay?
Starting point is 01:06:56 Because you're doing it, sis. Spam the page. Spam her, please. Run it up. I know the first three posts that you see. Run it up. Clap. Do it.
Starting point is 01:07:05 Clap for me. And black hands only. Black hands. Black hands only. What do I mean if you white? You white people put black hands on. I don't want to be with black hands. That's a little weird.
Starting point is 01:07:14 That's black face hands. Yeah, that's weird. But just to see white hands on you, I don't want to white. Sit in. I'm okay with the white hands. Sit in. If you white. If you white, I'm okay.
Starting point is 01:07:23 Hey, we'll even take the yellow hands. No, that's inconsiderate. Because that's the default. I don't want the jaundice hands. Jaundice. Okay. Jaundice is funny. And that's the name of the episode.
Starting point is 01:07:37 Jaundice. Jaundice hands. Yes. Courtney, tell everybody what you got coming up, where they can find you, blah, blah, blah. You know that. So, listen, y'all. Make sure y'all follow me on Instagram. Shoot.
Starting point is 01:07:51 Facebook. TikTok. All that. What's the name? YouTube. At the real Courtney B. that's where you can find me everywhere also make sure you tune in to Wildin' Out
Starting point is 01:08:00 we're going on tour so if you see us in your city make sure you pull up also make sure you tune in to We Playin' Spades alright we got more episodes on the way and also if you see me in your city pull up cause you know I'm gonna be doing comedy shows
Starting point is 01:08:16 and uh that's about it if you see me in a movie maybe let me say this take care of your Tupperware guys They carry a Tupperware. Yes. DM her Tupperware if you need to.
Starting point is 01:08:30 Send me Tupperware. Send her Tupperware. Cause that bitch put it in the trash. Put it on the floor. Put it in the trash. Big mama no key. Big mama no key. Big mama no Tupperware. Damn, that might
Starting point is 01:08:46 need to be the title of the episode too. You're fine. We don't need no Tupperware. We need to make That's funny. Is that bitch talking about something? She's such a ho. I know she's still out.
Starting point is 01:09:01 Yes. Okay. You guys keep reviewing us. We love the reviews. You're doing great on our YouTube. I think by then we will have 10Ks. Yeah, we did 10Ks. We did 10Ks.
Starting point is 01:09:10 Yeah. On the YouTube. We'll have two short months. It's just a few short months. Thanks to you, Mesties. Okay. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:09:17 Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcast. created and hosted by sydney washington and marie falston executive produced by han sani super produced by becca ramos edited and mixed by brian jeffries if you would like your messages read on air please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588

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