MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Busted Gall w/ Zainab Johnson

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by comedian and friend Zainab Johnson! The three discuss sibling relationship MESS, roaches in restaurants MESS, hecklers MESS, and more. Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description oh you listening to meth the adhd sometimes you might have to just be like just let us know too but sometimes seeing that that's not enough that's not enough okay really yeah for me we all have our phones okay yeah this is we all start knocking okay yeah when somebody speaks with a group and You be like, you have special needs. Oh, wow. Really? Did you say ADHD?

ADHD. That's not special needs, friend. Oh, it's not? No. ADHD is a disorder. Yeah, but you made it sound like you had special needs because he came and put a whole clock directly in front of you and you was like, I need something more. Sister, I just got off a flight.

We both just got off a flight. But I didn't say that. You know what? You're trying to bring her along when she's already dropped you off. Thank you. I just want to have a good time. It's already a good time. Y'all already stressing me out.

You call me special needs, Zainab. I apologize. I apologize. If your friend can't call you special needs, who can? Family. Oh, yes. And you do it every time. But listen, you know who I want?

A professional. And nobody's in this room. There's that. Have you made an appointment with a professional? I have. Sydney, you have special needs, even if they're not the ones that are categorized by a medical professional. You do have special needs. Now, are they? Come on, Sydney. You know you. You know you. You are not my brother's keeper. I don't know what's going on. Sydney, I think you're hearing it as you are special needs. She's saying you have special needs. But the fact that you are not comprehending means you may be special needs.

This is not the special needs. This is not the sisterhood that I signed up for. I love you so much, but you have special, you do. You got special needs, baby. Yeah, come on.

And what would y'all say that y'all have? I would say I have a knack for telling people the truth. Oh. The word of the town. Knack, knack, knack. It sounds like you need a PhD

at the end of that Johnson then. Yeah, that's not, I mean, that's not hard to get. what you were yeah yeah all the things that you got going on you think you have time to get a phd a doctorate i don't believe that i had time but if it was just about proving somebody's wrong i could get a doctorate that's mess that's mess you would get a doctorate out of spite i like i don't want to have to do that but i'm just saying the possibilities i recognize that they're there right you know well maybe not a doctrine maybe it's a lawyer maybe you want to

I realize everybody has on sunglasses. Yeah, we do. This feels unnecessary. But you came from home. Yeah, what you talking about? We flew from New York and came straight here. I haven't slept all night. I have been up since 5 o'clock this morning, which is...

What time did you go to bed? Yeah. Maybe midnight. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're not... We're on a different... What did you guys do? We packed.

We went to the airport. Yeah, so how is that different? What do you mean? Oh, let's talk about me. You know what my mess is? My mess is that I was on a lesbian cruise for a whole week. That you chose. That I chose.

That I chose. That paid you. That paid me. Yeah, so, yeah. Blessing. Okay. But what I did that I did not, I did not check my schedule properly, but literally I got off the flight at 930 last night.

Oh. I had to go home, take all the dirty clothes, whatever. I had to figure out my outfits, get ready, clean up and then come go right back to the airport. So I did not sleep last night. So that's why my glasses are on. Shades on. Special needs also on. OK. Special needs is turned up. It's turned on. Yeah. OK. Yeah. Is that enough for you? Is it enough for you, friend? This is not even about me. Sydney, you trying to fight today? You trying to fight?

here's the thing here's the thing with sydney and i sydney wants to be like a little sister which i really like but you you you have sisters right you have a sister i mean i have a lot um and the thing about siblings is they think that regardless of age their positions still say this stay the same so a little sister thinks that she can do whatever she wants simply because she's a little sister but ma'am you're 38 you know what I'm saying and so you can't behave you can't you can't behave as a child you know you can't behave as a child just simply because you're a younger sister but also yes and are you the younger sister no I'm the middle I'm the middle but I feel like when you're around your family you kind of like revert back to who you were you know who you've

always been when you're around them Sydney I feel like you know just her place in her mind is cemented as as as this as such as somebody who needs special needs no i didn't say i'm not saying no special needs no more if you listen to this right now you have special needs shut up some of my closest friends are special needs okay yes and and more importantly we've been trying to get you in the studio for a long time that's sweet of you this is zaynab johnson oh amazing special a jabs off and now you're gonna shoot your second special second special she is a friend and a sister

and she's a girlfriend my girlfriend you sure that's not copyright oh i don't well we this is It's not going to go on TV. The tubes. Okay. The studs. Look at me thinking highly of you. Oh, here we go. Look at me thinking you could be anything you want to be.

Yeah. I'm admiring your braids. I feel like this is a summer that I'm fully going to lean back into my braid bag. Yeah, it looks really good. You see my little... Yeah, I think I am too, actually. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm going to...

I was even I was even discussing that, like with my folks, like with production about my special. Like, damn, do I want to do all braids or do I want to, you know, like, do I want to mix it up a little bit? But I think I'm I think I'm going to commit to all braids. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you did a you did a silk press. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For the first special. Yeah. Yeah. And that heat.

And it looked good, but it was hot. It was hot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like it was not just it was hot. It was like the I had tracks. tracks and so we're kind of separated from my hair and that's never we never want that we never want that but you acknowledge it and it was so freaking funny because it was like it was you got out of

the set to be like okay guys because i know you see it you see it and it was like we do but damn yeah and also it wasn't really like super noticeable like you called it out and it was like okay i guess but it didn't look like so it wasn't noticeable when you're watching it right on you know but if you pay attention like i don't think there's a moment in my special where you can't see somebody in the audience which was by design and if you pay attention to when i said it if you pay attention to the front row the way those black girls jumped up like thank you so much for for acknowledging this for releasing you know how you know how you can be held hostage by an elephant in a room like who's gonna address who's gonna tell her yeah who's gonna and it can

really hold you hostage and i had released them like truly allowed them to like okay all right good we're here now anything anything you say from here goes because we know you're dealing in reality we know you're not gas we know you're not performing we know you are living in the same moment that we are aware the awareness was very very necessary but also you know when when the hair separates from the tracks right there's there's three levels there's like you've been in the club you've been throwing them bows you was to the window to the wall yeah and then there's a oh well there's it's a little it's a little muggy in the room yeah and then there's a oh you date a white man so it was it was very that is another level yes it's three look like that

oh yeah yeah i don't think that would ever happen it didn't it didn't look like you had a connor on the sidelines waiting for you after the set yeah in a boat shoe or just any type of shoe with No sock. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, even if I did have him waiting, my hair would not be the thing that let you know that. You know what I'm saying?

Right. But you know, there's a whole demographic. Of course. You know what I mean? Yes. Yes. They say hard wigs, soft life. I know it.

Hard wigs, soft life. I know it. I know it very well. And sometimes the crazy thing is, is that even if you don't have a hard wig, just sometimes having a wig at all and it, yeah, it's not curled a certain way. If it looks like you just got up and go, because sometimes people say that to me, And they're like, oh, I thought you I thought you had a white woman. Wait, that's not it's not because of your hair.

Your hair always looks good, Sydney. No, sometimes they've said that it's the when you when you sit behind the ear, when I tuck it behind the ear, sometimes they're like, sorry, white woman at home. Somebody multiple people have stopped you and been like, I thought you had a white woman in the DMs. And they said this because of your hair. I believe so. Yes. Now, why did you laugh so loud? I'm not doing this with you, Sydney.

Why did you laugh so loud? That's not why they've said that. Why have they said that? I don't know. Sidney be with a lot of white women, you know? Yeah. I feel like I'm one of Sidney's first black friends as an adult. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I think it's more that. It's who you be with, sis. Because I took my girl. But white women do that. Their extensions are also shown when they do that. Actually, I mean, Britney Spears' hair hasn't looked right since she shaved it all off. I agree. right yeah so it's not that okay your hair always looks good okay sometimes people say things just

to get a rise out of you like people um yeah yeah some yeah sometimes people are like oh i'm surprised that you would date a white guy to me and i'm like would you date a white guy yeah i've dated a white guy before i've dated white guys before yeah see well because you're so black you know? Whoa, I mean you mean like this Sydney, I'm not doing this with you on the West Coast But you see what I mean?

No, do you see what I mean? I think we could all see better if we Sydney said Whoa, I didn't say Wesley Snipes is in the building You know, black, you from Harlem, you Muslim, like to me it seems like you know yeah yeah i've dated white guys it's just that simple it's just yeah yeah yeah

yeah i've dated white guys and yeah it's that you know would you do it again sure what is the camera um um because i don't what i was like with the stanley cup yeah no you would yeah you definitely get yeah i yeah yeah i um i would the reason why i say i would is not because like i'm actively looking for a white guy my preference is i i really be liking black men sure you know um but like i just don't i don't know i don't believe in um like limiting things you know like i don't believe in limiting things do i have maybe like a higher barrier of entry for maybe a white guy, sure.

Yeah. You know? Yeah, he gotta be top shelf. You know, but, yeah, but,

and it's like, I feel like we've had, not we specifically, but I feel like this discussion has been had, like, just like, be white.

Like, I don't think you're gonna see me with like, Jack Harlow with the hat to the side. You know what I'm saying? Oh my God. Peace queen.

Yeah, like, yeah, and I get those types of white guys, like, queen, or dreadlock, it's like,

I'll never, that's who you'll never see me with you'll never in life you'll never in life see me with a dreadlocked white man a locked tenor is that what he's called? you won't see me having a conversation

with one of those people something might jump out I've seen the locks close enough I don't I can't even believe that they're just so bold to come to you

Yeah, I mean, everybody, everybody is bold in a DM. The Internet, you can't, the Internet is the wild, wild west. You can't pay attention to the Internet. If the Internet is a true representation of what life is, we have to just end it all. No, no, no. And I say that confidently and with a period. No, we have to. Have you been on the Internet?

Yes. Oh, it's, it's, oh, it's detrimental. Have you been on the Internet? I'm nominating that for title of the episode. That feels like the title of the episode. Have you been on the Internet? Yeah. It's like if that's if that people don't listen at all.

Yeah. Like at all. They don't want to listen. But that's what I'm saying. If we were really if we were inundated, every step we took in our real life with Internet comments, I'd walk off of a bridge. I would I would walk to the closest bridge. Yeah. Because people are very bold. they say stuff online with the typos and all and they say with their whole face blocked off or sometimes their face showing but we don't talk like that in real life

and they're stupid it's like forget even being bold you stupid as fuck and you not even this ain't even like political this ain't even like you're literally stupid you know what I'm saying and so I can't argue with you cause you're stupid but if I had to deal with you

every time I went to get coffee oh no i got let's say god take me now take me now if i got to deal with that that's crazy you're saying being in new york city i feel like some of the things that people write on the internet i hear that every day no you don't no you don't every day in new york it's not as specific no you don't it's not literally don't listen on it and it'll be it'll be 9200 of the same where's the back from how many inches is that like yeah i'll have i'll have i'll have literally an afro in every comment i'll be like you could get it too tiktok wig then i'll have my my natural hair and then the next day i'll have and somebody will be like oh my god this is what i love about

you your hair grows so fast i cannot i cannot encounter that person in real life no and that person i don't care what you say sydney does not exist on the streets of new york they don't uh They do not. They exist as your friends because you will be like, hey, this is where you get my tickets. And then they'll DM you that day or text you that day. That's different. Hey, girl, where can I get the ticket to your show? That's different.

Well, I think it's because people aren't actually listening to the videos. Yeah, that's different. It's that. But absolutely, if you had a job in corporate America and you showed up every week with a different hairstyle, they would in your face be like, oh, my God, your hair grows so fast. I love it. And that's why I don't work in corporate America. because I would, the last time somebody said it, I would go and

I would take that thing, put it in that clock, hear it go and clock out. You work at a factory? You work at the steel mill? 1950s? That's what I think about when I think about corporate America. That's not, that's not

blue holla. And then I walk to the closest bridge. Shut up. And not even, I wouldn't even be like, I can't take, I would back off of it. Yes. Shout out to our corporate American listeners. Hold on, hold on.

You get ready to kill yourself. You clocking out of work? I'm staying clocked in. Oh, no, no, no. Don't get that. No, no, no. Get that overtime. Yeah, no, no, no.

I'm not only am I clocking out, but I'm looking at the person who asked the question and I'm saying, I'm walking to the bridge. Just so that they know. So they know it's there. They're fully responsible. I don't even want the extra money. This is how much I don't appreciate. Damn.

Yeah. That's mess, friend. Yeah. But it's for the family. yeah well let's talk about my mess yes okay okay so the other day I was I did this I do this thing all the time where I forget to eat oh breakfast just breakfast all day most of the day will pass and I'll be like damn I didn't eat today or like I had a banana today or whatever you know whatever so the other day I did that and I was in this I was in Bed-Stuy so I went to this I was close to

this restaurant that I like and I said I'm gonna go get some food at this place so I I walk over they're like oh you just missed brunch they said dinner starts at 5 p.m i was like well i'm not waiting till 5 p.m it was like 4 22 i was like i can't i'm not gonna be able to make it right they're like oh it's a place around the corner the food is good there's a black lady who said it so i was like i believe you sis black girl said it i'm gonna go i'm gonna go eat i go i'll go over i'm reading like google reviews 4.9 stars it's coming you know i walk in and i was like i'm get the fish of the day but as you know no price it just said market price i said bucket we ball okay whatever it is i'm gonna pay it i order that they put it in i'm trying to figure out if i want

a side if i want to drink while i'm sitting there big ass bug crawls under the bar right by me i'm like like a water bug yeah you call them water bugs it's a roach it's a big ass roach What's the difference between a roach and a water bug? A water bug has a backpack. The little roach is already living. The water bug is just traveling. It's a traveling roach. Okay, so then it was a water bug.

It looked like he was wearing a little jam sport. But the door was open. It's a nice day. I'm like, well, maybe this bug came from outside. Maybe he's leaving. He don't go outside. He turns toward the kitchen. Oh, he lived there.

He's not a traveling one. I said, he lives here. So I'm sitting there like, well, I don't, that, like, I don't want to eat at a place with a bug that's that comfortable. While I'm sitting there trying to figure out what to do, bug doubles back. Like he, or maybe it was the second bug, doubles back. I'm like. Because he's looking at you. There's a stranger in my house.

It felt like my ancestors were like, please leave. But I'm still sitting there like, but I'm so hungry. the reviews that is good here so germaphobe you hold on hold on i'm still sitting there now the server comes the bartender comes out and he see it he's like what are you doing here like he recognized the bug okay like it was a familiarity there that's the manager's assistant what are you doing here so he don't even kill the bug he like kicks it out into the street what i'm like so that bug has been here before he kicked it to the bus stop now the bug waiting for the bus now i've seen this bug three times that's the manager's cousin it's family you can't

kill family girl the bug do the schedule so i'm sitting there like this these these white people come in they're like oh we we want the one people come in came in clocked in he's like he did it he put the card in he did what you said so i'm sitting there and i'm like i think i have to leave i have to leave mind you now it's it's it's 4 52 i said i can't go yeah you can go to another place that i know don't have no that i've seen i mean it's new york it's new york city i'm sure it's stuff but i don't want to see it before i eat i definitely don't want to see it after i order so i stand up and i'm waiting at the door and i'm like waiting for the server to come back so i could be like hey cancel

that order i'm not i can't eat here he never comes back so i just left i went next door to the place that i was originally trying to go to they're like oh you back sis i said i saw a big ass bug they said oh yeah the the ancestors didn't want you to eat there did they throw that bug in there like girl would you have stayed would you have left oh i would have definitely left but i think that's why the guy didn't come back i think he was probably in a bad idea she sold a bug so i'm just not you know sometimes you she yo tony came out she's seen tony sometimes he ain't like why you ain't going back out there? It's like,

no, no, no, she going to leave. She, you know, Tony done came out three times. She going to leave.

Maybe they sent Tony. Like she ordered fish of the day. We ain't got that. Yeah. Yeah. Tony. Or maybe they didn't want to work. Sometimes you don't want to work

and you're like, get the pregnant road child. The bug is just on reserve, ready to go. Yeah. Yeah. Cause maybe it's a front. Maybe it ain't even really a restaurant

that's supposed to serve you food. Your mind, Zaynab. Your mind. Mine is wild because I was on Google reviews reading the reviews and it was like,

yeah, all best friends I've ever had in my life. The dude in front of me, he eating pasta. I said, oh, should I have gotten the lamb ragu? You didn't ask the guy

who was eating the pasta, like, do you see the book? Because sometimes you have to check and you can't keep the experience singular. You're supposed to go to the other people

and be like, did you see that? Girl, why didn't you go live? Like, as many times as you go live, when have you ever seen me live in public? I be live in my house.

Oh, that's right. That's right. You got to be confused with somebody else. Why didn't you go live? Yamanika goes live. Yamanika went live. No, it's not on the road. Not on the road.

It was a black business. It was like a brown business. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So, hold on now. So, that's what we're talking about. It's a black business. We can't, you know.

Well, no, no, no. I was just speaking specifically for Yamanika. Yamanika. Yamanika is amazing. comedian we love her yeah very specific yeah she's not going live at the black business with the roach you know she'll be she'll be she'll go live after and be like you know i was at a black business to a big roach but i ain't gonna do that to my black young i'm not gonna say where i'm not gonna say where the rest of my was but that's mad sydney let's talk you wanted me to

go live and be like do y'all see it like how or you wanted me to just focus on the road sometimes you gotta keep shit a secret because it's a reflection of you it's like maria what did you mind you what did you do in your life to get you there i was texting my cousin like oh i found this next spot i'm gonna eat here my cousin messaged me later how was the food at such and such i said hey i saw a big ass roach i left he said that's crazy yeah but you know what it's also good that you saw it because imagine you would have just been eating it up and you know what i'm saying and then maybe you would have got maybe nothing would have happened but i think it's always worth to see it after you've eaten yes what you gonna do throw it up like it like you can get like i

think it's a mind thing oh yeah definitely like 100 i didn't i used to eat cilantro and cilantro cilantro right and so they say that there's two types of people you eat cilantro you enjoy it or you eat cilantro and it tastes like soap and so the other day i don't know a couple of weeks ago i i don't know why i really like breakfast tacos right and so i was making breakfast tacos and i just because i had more time i was like i wonder why they say cilantro tastes like soap let me just taste it i've never had cilantro by itself i tasted it and it tasted exactly like soap right you need to have the onions or some tomatoes yeah it didn't taste like it it tastes like soap but it wasn't like like like now my like now i'm distorting my taste buds right but then i was

It's like, it's not going to taste like soap once I put it on. And then I put it on one of the tacos and all I could taste was soap. And it was in the mind. Yeah, it's imprinted. And now cilantro is canceled. Yeah, cilantro is canceled. We're not doing that no more. Roach's is canceled.

What's the name of the place that's canceled? I'm not doxing nobody on this here pod today. No, you're right. If you would slide in my DM, I will tell you where I was eating. I'll slide in your DM to find out. But you said the name of the first restaurant, right? No, I didn't. Oh, okay.

I was about to say we didn't got to. I did not. The internet. uh okay Zaynab what's my mess let's pivot you got a list of mess I want to hear all of it

yeah what you the family is shot in true mess okay I have a big family um if you don't know I have 12 siblings and

I actually made. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I made the decision the other night that I'm I really ain't going to answer nobody's call no more. Well, the whole family is blocked. I'm at least going to look at my I'm at least going to see what I have to do in the day. And then that's going to determine if I could answer your call, because like my younger brother called me who I love dearly. but he called me when I was on my way to a show and he had an issue and you know how people be mad but they can't take it out on I'm trying not to tell his business but he had an issue with like some of my other siblings and then just started cursing me out oh well because you were siding with them I ain't side with nobody he just just talking to you probably triggered him to think about yeah you must sound like one of the other sisters no he called me to vent yeah to vent and

So I was letting him do that. And then, you know, when somebody's venting and they start saying, I mean, you feel me, you get what I'm saying. That means they want a response. Right. And so I said, OK, well, how can I help? What would you like me to do? And that's when he snapped. Progressively.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Because Zainab, you're going to tell the truth. And that's probably what he didn't want to hear. But then why call Zainab? If Zainab is known for telling the truth, why are you calling me? Exactly.

Because sometimes you've got to be a sister, Zainab. Just, just be, just be there. Sydney, do you know sisters? They go, they go, they go fast. I do. And the way I try to not know my sister at times, the way I, the way I screen her calls. Well, there you go. Yeah.

For me, I'm not going to screen them like, like permanently. Yeah. But I realized that it took me a lot to, I had to get off the phone with my brother and I told him, I was like, listen, I said, I'm so sorry that this happened to you. But I can't let you being upset. I can't let you abuse me because you're upset. That's what I that's what I said to him. I've never he's done it to me before. He'll call me for help. And then I realize I'm getting cursed out. You know what I'm saying? And I'm like, oh, I'll get off the phone like, dang, I didn't do anything. And because he's my younger brother, I don't really feel bad if something happens with my older siblings. If we get you know what I'm saying? But with my younger siblings, I feel more bad about it. It's just a sibling dynamic. Like when they're younger than you, they feel like children almost, you know? I don't know about that life. Okay.

I can kind of see that. Yeah. And my youngest brother is 16 years younger than me. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. A fetus. Yeah. A fetus. Yeah.

Yeah. I remember when he was literally, I remember, I could see the day right now when he was born. I don't know when he was born, but I saw the, I would see the pictures when he was way younger and I was like, oh, he's like, yeah, he's so much. Yeah. So he calls you to vent. It sounds like he might maybe need a therapist or something.

He might. Yeah. But even if that's true, and I've suggested that, it's like, you can't, you can't, I can't let you curse me out. You know what I'm saying? I don't even think he's aware of it, but I can't let you curse me out. But here's the reason why I'm bringing it up. The reason why it's my mess is because then I had to go do a show and I get on stage and

I shake it off, right? It happens within like maybe 15 minutes. So I feel like I have enough time to like shake it off and I get on stage. I'm happy. I'm kidding. My set is killing. I'm still mad at you. No.

He doesn't live here. um but somebody in the audience triggered me right so okay so you know how you're on stage and i'm my i'm my set's going great right it's i'm like third third comic on the show and so they're not quite cracked open yet right but like my set cracked them open but as soon as i get out i guess it i guess it was like a double date or something two women two men the women are sitting inside next to each other the men are sitting on the outside they just talking not the men the women they just constant conversation but not loud enough so you could make out what they're actually saying but loud enough for it to be annoying right and so am i i think people don't

know this about me i'm gonna stop not because i want to talk to you i'm gonna stop because i don't want you to just i know i'm about i'm killing and i'm about to bring out the big punch line i can't have you fuck it up and so i'm gonna check in i'm gonna stop this real quick so that i could then dismount this set and you know what i'm saying like i'm you're trying to stick the landing yeah right yeah yeah yeah you just posted that you posted that the other day somebody was like talking and you were like you can go it's not get yeah get them out of here because they just kept talking yeah yeah yeah but I don't I hate that I anywho so I go over to them and I'm like hey it's like what's happening right and the thing people were like um you know like were they

heckling heckling is actually better than just having a whole side conversation because what we can use heckling right you know what I'm saying heckling means you talking directly to me so I get to respond to you heckling means you talking at a volume that the entire room can hear right but when you only talking having a conversation like it's a bar you know what i'm saying that means you messing it up for the group that's around you all the people are sitting around you and you making me i gotta do i gotta do mental gymnastics to try to keep the room remember my set yeah and ignore you you know what i'm saying and so i go in and i check in and i'm like i'm like What's going on?

Y'all talking over here? What's up? I don't go over aggressive at first, right? Because, you know, I'm chill. I'm cool. What's up? At first. What's up?

Right? Hey, ladies. Yeah. Hey, divas. I said, y'all talk, but y'all keep having a conversation. We can hear you. What's going on? What do y'all say?

Do you want to let us know? Yeah. Tell the class. This is what she does. We're talking about how fabulous you are. It doesn't feel like it. It doesn't feel like it's so fabulous. Not with that attitude.

Well, how how can you take in all this fabulousness if you talk in the whole time? Let me tell you something. I'm not. I have been known to be a stupid asshole a few occasions in my life. But I'm not. It's very rare. And I don't care what's happening. If I if if I have a grievance, I don't care if you compliment me, whether it is genuine or disingenuine.

I do not. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying? Seriously. I don't give a fuck. I was at a Chris Brown concert. Shut up.

No. Years ago. Years ago. Yeah, years ago. Not shut up immediately after. It was years ago. Which year? Before?

Which administration? Before the B? Before the beating or after? Well, nobody was at the concert before the beating. Come on, girl. Now you're doing too. Come on. Come on.

Be real with yourself. Before the beating? Be real with yourself. Girl, he had like two songs. Yeah. Come on. Don't. um and but there was a it was a bunch of young kids there you know i'm saying and i took my

little sister with my little sister might have been like 17 8 17 18 so this is a while ago right at the time and this girl you know it's young girls in there and so this girl bumped me right and i i stopped she was bumping everybody right but she bumping young girls so it's like they all right and so i stopped her hold up hold up hold up hold it and she turns around ready for like motion and she sees like oh no this is like a grown-ass lady right and so she was like you're so beautiful i said i don't give a fuck say sorry say sorry say sorry because you know you bumped me you felt it also also it's like i don't care about beauty in this moment and you're not telling me nothing i don't know i don't care also i was cute when you bumped into me thank you

i don't care about that that's something that's something for insecure people i don't care about that right now so when she said that just talk about how fabulous i instantly said i said well can you stop because you're distracting you know and i could tell they were still nasty about the moment i walked away they go back to talking right at the show girl yes oh that's messy it's messy were they or yeah but they wasn't i don't think they was a hundred percent i think they were passing my racial okay yeah no not biracial oh no no no passing meaning like they're either they're ethnic white they're ethnic well yeah yeah yeah yeah jack and jills stop talking please eastern european thank you thank you sicilian persian maybe you know i'm

saying like they probably were persian you know i'm saying something you can walk out you can always tell when they dye their hair blonde, but they can't never quite get the roots blonde. Yeah. And it's not on for you. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you really, really try, but it's going to take so much bleach for you to... Or the grow out. It just takes a... No, no, no.

The bleach can't touch the Mediterranean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The bleach can't touch the Mediterranean. That might be a title. I like that. I like that, too. I like that as well. As soon as I walk away, I'm about to go right back to my set. This don't have to be a big deal, right? And they do it again.

And so I turned and I said, don't be a mean girl. I said, because then I'll have to be a mean girl. I'm not even, you know how comics perform. I'm not even like, don't die because I'm not. No, no, no. I'm talking directly. I said, don't be a mean girl because I can be a mean girl. I said, and I'm I'm I'm very smart.

I'm funny. I'm beautiful. And I can be mean. So just don't play with me. And then I flipped my hair. because here's the thing here's the thing in that order here's the thing here's the thing i don't know if you guys have experienced it but sometimes there's like a goal that women have in the audience of a show and they have the goal because they think that they're really cute

have you experienced this i don't know i i've seen it's a lot of busted goal. Yeah, your shows be like white and gay, right? I mean, your audience, your people. No? First of all, I'm not for that busted goal. Your shows be white and gay. Busted goal might be the title as well. That's a good one.

Man, we're on a fire today. I always want to write all these titles down because I forgot all of them. If you think those guys in the back who gave you a call and turned off and y'all said, and now I deserve an apology. I'm not apologizing to you.

They gave you a non-working iPad and you think they know the titles that you've called out? It's off. It died. It died. Okay. Again, we have our phones.

I'm just, I mean, I agree with you, Marie, but I'm just saying if you think those guys, who can hear everything we're saying and still didn't come in here and no they're fabulous anyway keep it going of course they busted gold yeah you know what i'm saying of course but i'm talking about a specific kind of person it's even it happens with men sometimes where they think they can be like they think they can heckle and they're they're they're

what they believe they have is like oh i'm i'm handsome like they oh yeah they're normally like the main character in their life and they just don't know how to be a leader of their group yeah they don't know how to be a a feature background you know what i'm saying and like at a comedy show that's really all you are your feature background literally literally it's my show literally you know what i'm saying and so i needed them to know that but i'm i am very specific and intentional about like not attacking women when i'm on stage and specifically women of color but just women period right i'll treat you with so much like i'll give you so much grace and i'll treat you with like so much care like a fabric yeah even when you're being shitty to me but it

also for me and this might be my mess if you think you cute and i don't think you cute i i can't take it i can't take it you heard it here first i cannot take it if you think If you think you're cute, and everything, your whole persona is rested on because you think you're cute, but I don't think you're cute, I can't even, and then you're mean? Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, gloves are off. Okay, so what happened? So what happened?

They got kicked out. How? You said, get them out of here? Yeah, I said, okay, so now, you know how you're, and I'm going to bring this back to family, right? But you know how you're you just start to in the moment you start to think I'm thinking about the comic that went on before me. You know that we sit in a green room backstage. Yeah. And so you can hear what's happening in the showroom.

And so I was like, damn, yeah, this I'm not going to say the comic because I don't know if she wants me to say her. But I'm like, damn, she was having she's she's she's she's always really fun energy. But she was struggling out there. I thought it was just because the show had just started. Yeah. And I'm like, why was she struggling? And so then it hit me in that moment. Oh, this is why she was struggling, because she trying to get out thoughts and she's hearing a whole conversation. But then one of the guys that's in a group with them, he laughing hard. He laughing hard every single thing.

But he also laughing on the offbeat. So even when your punch line done, you trying to get to the next set. No, no, he not. He said he laughing. that's not that's not that's not an insult that's just a fact yeah you laugh hard and it's wonderful you leaned over the chair you just did it it's fine you don't have to do that it's just for reference um and so i asked the audience i was like wait was they talking during her set and the audience This was like, and so then I'm like, you know, a comedy show is all white. You know what I'm saying?

And so I'm like, hold on a second. I'm like, don't, don't act like y'all don't do what y'all do. You tell. That's what y'all do. So tell. What happened? Tattoo. Yeah.

What happened? Like, are they, are they ruining the show? Have they been talking the whole time or not? And then there was this one woman who was like a little bit, a couple of chairs away from her, away from them. And I was, she had on like a blood and down shirt. she had on she looked like she wasn't dressed like anybody else in the in the in the club and so I said you look like you know how to write a report and she was like she had on her work blouse

yeah it was blue you know what I'm saying she has one of those time cards you know what I'm saying yeah yeah and so I said were they talking but it's like that's confrontational you know I'm saying we all know they're passive you know they're so that's confrontational and I said wait a second so y'all gonna let you gonna let a table ruin the whole show

for y'all and then she was like yeah they were like once I said that she was like yeah I mean they've been talking the whole time

everybody around was like yeah they've been talking the whole time and it's like oh okay then y'all gotta go this is not a bar

and so then oh it got messier ooh cause I'm saying y'all gotta go y'all gotta go but there ain't no security in the room

gag so they waiting to get kicked out and they're like well it's seeming like i'm bluffing it's seeming like yeah exactly it seemed like where's your manager i am the manager that's what it seems like um and so i'm like i'm like oh there's no so now it calls out like oh now this is a flaw in the operation yeah of the club you know um and then and so now i don't know if it i mean it was true but also i said damn now i'm gonna have to beat you up myself like now you know now and then after all of that you realize you still have to finish the show finish the show the people remember you for your jokes and then it hit me and i was like i explained you

You know, Tiffany's done so many shows with me. It's like, I talk the audience through everything that's happening. And so I'm like, now I have to, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, you see how awkward y'all are? We was just having fun with autism, right? And then they laughed again. You know what I'm saying? And then I was like, and now I say, but that shouldn't be my job.

So I'm saying that. And then they clapped for me and I brought out the next comedian, you know, and they kicked the girls out. They kicked all four of them out. Amazing. And so in my mind, I'm trying to go. I don't want to go through the showroom because I don't want to be confronted with them. Right.

And so I go through the side. Right. When I get out the side, they write at the front sheet. Lord have mercy. Because, you know, it locks up your phones and everything. And so I go through like where they accept the tickets. And so all I hear is the girl. This is this is who I want y'all to know who I was dealing with.

I am writing a scathing reveal. Oh, scathing, girl. Scathing. Look at you knowing words. And I walked in right on that. And I said, write it, write it well and make sure that you let them know that you are a terrible person. Write that in the review. And she was like, you're not funny.

And I was like, that's fine. I don't you don't understand. I don't care about anything that you think of me. You are terrible. And then right when it happens, the guy who was laughing so loud, who was with her, it's literally her date, not the other one's date. He comes to me. He says he don't know she he where I'm going. he don't know she right around the corner right so he says man Zainab you are so funny

he says Zainab you are so funny and then he goes to hug me but when he hugs me he could see all you see is how like this but when I got home when I got home I couldn't really discern if that moment could have went different if I hadn't spoken to my if I hadn't picked up my brother's energy yeah 15 minutes before that's that's the thing that bothered me the most when I got home I was like was it me or was it really them or did I allow the energy transfer and that's what ultimately made me know like oh when I'm working I can't really let my I can't really let my family they they have too much of an affect over me you know oh yeah but that's anybody that's anybody Because I genuinely believe when people dump or when people call, it is to transfer whatever they're feeling.

It's like whatever worry or anxious or whatever. Because a lot of times it's not even like they want a solution. Because it's one thing to be like, yo, I need your advice. Can I talk to you for a second? People text like, yo, you got a second? I got to talk. I really need your opinion. But people who are just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then, you know what I'm saying? No, I don't know what you're saying. Like, you need to write that down. Write it down, because now I'm stressed out about all of your situation that you just hit on me for 20 minutes. Yeah. And I got to go do what I got to do for like 15 or an hour. Yeah. Now I'm shaking, especially people who call and dump and then be like, oh, all right. Well, I guess I'll let you go. Yeah. You didn't even let me wrap me up. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Well, thanks for that. Or not even thanks.

What you up to? Like, no. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it was because I think I'm pretty good at dealing with like a dump. You know what I'm saying? I'm really good because of it. But it was, it's like, damn, you flipping on me. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're literally flipping on me. Like, you're attacking me.

You know what I'm saying? You ain't dumping. Dumping is one thing, but you like attacking me, you know? And so, like, you know, maybe that's why I was on the attack. I don't know. Nah, them girls needed it. I'm going to watch the tape back. Yeah, watch it back.

But even so, you have a tape because, you know, when you post, we'll make sure to repost so people can know what we're talking about. But it's just like a collab. Yeah. But the thing is, is that people what's messes is that when you go to an event, when you go to a show, when you go to people aren't safe, they're getting paid to do their job. And when you are doing these side conversations, you're being disruptive. Now it's messing up everything. Yeah. It's not about you. Yeah. But also, why did you come?

Somebody spent money for you to sit here and be here and y'all are not even really in it. But here's the thing. So just go to the bar. You're absolutely right, Marie. But also, let me tell you, that's another thing. It's the worst thing. When you find out people being shitty at a show and they didn't even pay for it. They got comp tickets.

Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, God. You need to leave. But that's why people don't understand that performing is so hard because you'll be thinking not so hard, but people think that, oh, it's not funny or that people be coming in with a terrible ass attitude. They they they ain't got enough money in their account. They got all these issues and they're thinking that your our show is going to fix. Hey, I could do what I can, but it's not like you need to talk to the Lord or you need to talk to your financial advisor.

You need to go go back to work and not be at this at this event. You need to be working more. This is real messy, and my friend is going to think that I'm talking about them. Because you are. I'm not. I've had multiple people offer this to me in the recent past. I'm not. If I ever seen your fingernails dirty more than once, I'm not eating nothing you're making.

I'm so sorry. That's the roach. The roach's friend. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not. Sid can cook. Now, why am I in it? I haven't cooked in years.

Because you did this. You looked at your nails. Yeah, but I'm not cooking for nobody. But I just affirmed you. It can cook. But also, dirty nails is just like, that's... I don't think they're... I mean, I...

No, no, no, no, no. I know exactly what you mean. It's not even these nails. It's like your natural nails. And I see the ring of dirt. Unless you're a mechanic. Yeah. Unless you're a mechanic.

And I've seen it more than once. I can't. When I'm at your house, I'm only drinking things that have the cap hasn't been popped yet. You're not taking your shoes off? If I take my shoes off when I get back to my house, I'm taking the socks off before. Like, I'm just. You're taking the socks off before you get into your house? Or right at the door.

They're going to be. Now it's a shoe. You get what I'm saying? Like. Not the socks are a shoe. Now it's a shoe. Now it's a shoe. Now it's a shoe.

You know, like, I. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But it's. Yeah. I mean, a lot of people just learned how to wash their hands in 2020. So that. And here's the thing, Marie.

I'm not even asking them to wash their hands. I'm just saying I'll never eat anything you make. That's real. I'll never eat anything you serve. Oh, they can't even put it on a tray. They can't. What if it's. i think this is why you're the germophobia or germaphobes y'all linked up it's like

that you're talking to people you know but you don't know about these restaurants you go to you're right but that's the thing you don't when you don't see it it never happened right when you see it and then you become responsible you become complicit if marie would have ate that market fish after she saw the backpack roach, she would have become complicit in whatever happened to her. We would have had less empathy. But also, also,

I feel like if there was anything, like if I had like a tickle in my throat a few days later, or my neck was itching, I'd be like, oh my God, I shouldn't have ate at that door. If my period was late the next week,

I'd be like, it's the roach. But even if we're talking about what you can see and what you can't see, it's like if you had a restaurant that's supposed to be good and it's dirty but you never see the dirt and then you go to a restaurant that you do see the dirt imagine how dirty it is they say but it's sometimes but as a new yorker right there's a cup there's like hole in the wall

spots that you're like there's no way this is an a yeah yeah but the the food is blessing the community you're you're going there you're providing something that's beyond the food yeah you're talking about the dumpling spot the dumpling spot or like there'll be a jamaican place where you're like a jamaican place be dirty not dirty not not not dirty not dirty have you ever been on jamaican tiktok no you can't understand anything that you they say oh but it's so much passion the ross clark but i was on i wandered there when they came out with that bob marley movie and jamaican tiktok was his and it was like you know I don't know what she's saying, but I like it.

My Jamaican mestiz, hey, you know, sometimes we got that accent. I had trouble with a wagwan one time. That's it. I got a one wagwan. But the thing is, is like those places, regardless of what it looks, the food is so good. Like the patties are immaculate. Yeah, but the thing about. The attitude is trash, but it's just so.

No, I have to be a patroness. Two different things. Yeah, that's very different. But also, the place could, they can have attitude. The A in the window will stand for attitude or whatever. But if I see a B, I might still eat there. But a C, I'm not eating at a C place. When you said B, I thought you meant like Bumble.

And I was going to say, oh, girl, you could eat at the Bumble place. That's when they got real honey in the bag. If I see a B, they got honey. I was so confused for three seconds. I'm talking about the letters in the window. Oh, yeah, no. Even if, because I don't remember who I was speaking to, but they were like, even if they have an A, that don't mean it's perfect in the back. No, no, no.

A is like up to like 92% or something. There's no 100%. I don't remember. Didn't you go to a chain place that had a bug in the salad? Yes. I don't want to say the name. Sweet Green. Oh, girl.

Yeah, they be having bugs in the salad. Was it a green bug? And I don't mean the color green, but like bugs that typically, like an insect. It was not a roach, not like a common roach, but like a bug that would be on plants. I'm calling it a roach. It looked like a, because mind you, I'm tearing this salad up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was another day I had not eaten before I left my house.

Somebody gave me this salad. She said, oh, I haven't touched it. I just got it. You were at work. I was at work. I was at work. And I'm like, this is the best salad I ever had. I'm shaking the box.

I'm turning the, I get to the bottom. I'm like, what's that, a little piece of olive? A little piece of olive. it was a full ass bug bug just I don't mean to bug you but at the bottom

she's like glad you ate the bug said that was good wasn't it it was crazy that there I screamed I screamed

there's a bug in my salad everybody came running in they're like what happened I just wanna eat the bug and then after that cause it's like the bug didn't

but it's because they don't rinse most restaurants if not all of them don't rinse their um greens before they cook them yeah that's and that's the only reason why i asked was it an actual like bug that you would see in the field versus like yeah because i do like no now i used to buy yeah like i used to buy um i used to buy a lot of bags um greens and stuff like that and i don't anymore like i always buy like the fresh bunch and then i use a salad spinner

well i mean you should still be rinsing the bag lettuce don't let the triple wash triple rinse fool y'all there's there's bugs in it the bugs is rinsed too yes and but also because those because it's usually like baby lettuce it's just when you wash it it can really really almost become soggy you know like it can um and so yeah i just you're a salad connoisseur so you you know i see i see you doing it on the on the instas and it's like damn you sound salad look good you know like there's no meat on it but yes you're like chickpeas chickpeas i love a chickpea filling you know yeah yeah yeah you've never found a bug in your food uh you know this is my mess once it's in my mouth i'm not really looking too much and i'm not i'm inhaling it like that's

how hungry i am so mighta could be i don't know whatever it is that protein that you love so much I thought it was something that changed mine and Sydney's relationship for like 30 minutes. Hey. What'd you see? Do you want me to share it or not? You saw her feet? No. But she has seen my feet.

And she was like, Sydney, you too pretty for that. I didn't say that. You did. When we was in Florida. I have it on video. It was the shoe that you had on. It was like, it's like dress for the job you trying to get. What shoe she had on?

I had a Steve Madden that was supposed to be like the Aliyah jelly. It was like a jelly. And we went walking. My feet are ashy. And then my feet are went through the. That's what it was. Her feet were white. They was popping through the little.

Her feet were white. Yeah. They were like, all my life I had to fight. That's what it looked like when I took the shoe off. You had the Steve Madden Selma's on. Yes, I sure did. That's crazy. Yeah, the Sealy's.

I'm sorry. Tell her. I am a, I think that would be my, what? Tell her what changed your perspective. I don't know if even you know this. Oh. I think you said, I said it to you when we were on FaceTime. Yeah, say it.

For 30 minutes, and then I had to work on forgiving Sidney. Oh, okay, wow. In my heart. Let's talk about salad. No, no, no, get it. Now I want to know, because I'll never get over it. I won't get over it. You have to do it now.

I'll tell you off camera. No, tell, this is, this is mess, man. Yeah, you see this? Transparent here. Sydney was flossing her teeth. We was on FaceTime. Sydney was flossing her teeth, which great, you know, good job. And something came off on the floss and Sydney took it off the floss and ate it.

When I tell you, I almost, I had to, I actually had to call somebody else and talk my way through it. Did you call your brother? At first I said to Sydney, I said, did you? and I got so I don't remember this oh my god in the same way you don't

like you don't care about but it was so yeah it was so are you cut it out it was a it was a big thing it was

like a broccoli piece it was already in my mouth like listen listen listen as friend

and I and I love you I did the work I did the work for 30 minutes that bad I did the work to see you

you know what it is too It's like you're beautiful and you're. And when I saw that, I was like, I don't know if I could love her. And then I was like, it's OK. Not everyone is like you. Zainab. What? I think it's different from like if there's stuff underneath my nail and I did that.

That's one thing. But I think if you floss, it was already in your mouth. It was there. It's been sitting there. Yeah, I'm not listening. I see both sides of it. I do. But doing it while somebody is watching me, it's absolutely not.

Let me tell you something. I never saw that before in my life. And you got 12 siblings. It gagged me. It didn't gag since she swallowed it. Double it. Double it. But it is.

I needed to know I was like I told somebody else and I couldn't even why didn't you tell I'm telling my business like that my sibling

I told you I called my sibling and so and I couldn't even you know how you're trying to relay something that grossed you out so much you can't even get there and my sister was like

get it out just say it say it is this the sister that I really like yeah now what did sister how the hell

would you do that why the hell would you do that she thought she she was getting so frustrated with me because she was like there's no way it can be that bad and then when i finally got it out she went move on with your mess bitch move on that's not messing to you at all what's the next thing on your lips. Glad you're sharing. Well, what was it? Was it brisket? I don't know. It didn't seem like a piece of meat.

She didn't just swallow. She took it off and she popped it back in her mouth. Wait, did she take it off the thing? Or did she go like this? A snack. Or charcuterie. did she no I did not

Zayna what else is on your lips Sydney that's mess I'm hey on FaceTime you forgot you was

on FaceTime I did cause you know I get so comfortable with you I get very comfortable with you yeah

and here's the thing this is how much I care about you I said it real quick but I didn't I just like I just stomached it

and like you had to push through and then when I got off I was like you almost deleted my number we don't do that here after you got off the phone with sydney did you take a minute or did you call your sister immediately no i took a minute because i was like it was because i was like what would it's like the more i thought about it and i'll be trying not to be

hypocritical out of glasses because i'm like this isn't your isn't your your your god like it's supposed to you're supposed to take me as like you said you're I was about to butcher it. That's why. You know I knew the word. But I was like, I don't want to. I was about to say Mufasa. You're Mufasa right now.

And then I felt like really bad because I wasn't getting past it. And so I had to like. How did you push through? Let's talk. I called my sister. You called your sister? And I said, can I tell you something? Y'all are dragging it.

You dragged that floss in your mouth. You act like I dig stuff under my toe and then put it in my mouth. No, I said my friend did something that grossed me out, but I don't know if it's... New ick unlocked. Yeah. I was like, I didn't even know you could have an ick with your friend. Yeah, you can. Yeah, I didn't know that.

Sydney introduced me to it for 30 minutes. Marisha, you have a friend ick of mine? Absolutely not. Not that we need to get into on the pod. Listen, I don't even have icks about you, Sydney. Like, you come as you are. Like, you are welcome.

That was a surprise, though. That was like... She said, don't come. She said, don't do that at the house. I will not. Don't do that this week at the house.

I'm glad that you reminded me because I will not. Yeah, it's like... Girl, you be slurping out your retainer. Shut the fuck up. When you take your retainer off, you be like,

no, no, my oyster. My oyster. From DGX. no what else is on your list before we read a message oh what else is um what you're gonna call it so i don't know if this is mess but i have i've realized like i'll i'll as much as i eat mostly plant-based um and when i smell meat cooking it smells disgusting to me because i just don't smell it very often i think that i'd marry a guy who eats who eats me he just got to cook he just yeah he's different silverware i mean no he don't even have to obviously he has

to clean it we have to like be very sanitary but i think that could be his thing like we go to the farmer's market i get the greens and he gets like the bison this is your bison you got some wait she's here i mean the the the meat in your teeth was pretty juicy i was trying to clean it up oh but so in the past you haven't been able to date somebody who is a meat eater but now you can no i've always dated meat eaters but i'm thinking about i'm not thinking about dating i'm talking about like the man i end up with like somebody cooking meat in your house like have you get you guys eat meat so you don't you eat meat right yeah yeah yeah so you don't get like my nephew came to visit me and i and i cooked for him and it was ground beef and when i tell you it was like

because it's such a strong... I made meat with you, right? You did. That's why I was like, you've actually touched meat. What kind of meat was it? It was like steak. We were making steak tacos

or something like that. And wasn't I having a hard time? I don't know. It seemed like you was in there, bitch. You rolled up your sleeve. You said, let me get the... She had to meet the new Muslim?

You were like, we're not going to be on live for three hours, girl. We got to wrap this up. You got in there. And how did I roll up my sleeve? First of all, you left.

You left. So you don't eat it, but you'll cook it. I'll cook that was for my nephew he was a child and Sidney oh and

because I love Sidney and I'm a child as well yeah nasty child nasty child nasty it was the pandemic but I was on a plane

the other day and a man opened up his beef jerky no it was putrid that's you don't do that on a plane

beef jerky is that's a dry old stick of meat yeah it was is it meat I don't know it's meat it was

it was putrid and I was in comfort plus and it's It made you uncomfortable. Yeah, all it take is one roll. All it take is one roll. That's why you should have been there first.

Yeah, right. Should have been there first. You would have had a little thing, a little device. I would have been like, it stinks. Yeah, exactly. You know, but I didn't say anything. I suffered through it. I didn't like that the women behind me said something.

What did they say? They just talked about him behind his back, literally. I would have preferred, I would have preferred them say something to him like, sir, that's a very strong smell. Do you mind? you know do you mind like but they just they just talked about how bad it smelled and how gross whoever it was that was eating it literally right behind him and part of me wanted to turn around and be like either say something to him or shut up you know but I always have to like years ago

I was like these are not my battles like it's not it's not my job to be super saver battles seriously I need to get that tattoo no battles after another no battles no battles after another that is the title of the episode

bitch no battles after another no battles after another I love that yeah and so I just sat there but it's like the whole flight

they just talked about him did they know it was him no I think so like he's sitting right in front you could see you know they was dumb tight they again

again you know what I'm saying again you know you would have turned around have been like saying to his face and they'd be like you're really beautiful and i would have been like i would have been you know you don't want some that's what i want to do he didn't he didn't he had on like one headphone so i don't know if he would but i could tell he and he was a big man

too like a really you know like a plus size man and it's just like i've never heard that term for men before less size man what you're supposed to say well no i but whenever i hear that i feel like people are talking about women. Women, yeah. Must be plus size. They do be plus size. Yeah, they be plus size. That's okay.

More than anybody. Oop. Mess. You know what? Okay, here is my mess, and you tell me, right? Mm-hmm. Zeynep, do you have close friends?

Like on Instagram? Yeah. No. No. And Marie, you don't really. I do, but I don't really. I'll be posting, like, stuff about men

who send me stupid messages, and I don't hide their identities. Yeah. My close friends is, it's kind of like, it's an open mic of, like, feelings or things that are going on or whatever. And I went on the lesbian cruise and I was posting a lot of my girlfriend, which I do not post online. And she ended up taking a video of my feet. And, you know, we've talked about it. You know what it is.

they're rough and so people in the close friends were they did not like that they didn't like that she took a video of your feet they were like do not don't post your feet please don't do that so she took the video but did she also take your account

and post it? No I posted it you posted it this is like we're close friends it was funny the stuff that she was saying was hilarious she said babe you're too beautiful for your feet to look like this. Yes, she said you're too pretty for it.

And I said, pretty girls rock, rock. And Sydney was like, I just got a pedicure. And she was like, no, you didn't. She said you need to go get your money back. So it was like funny, but there was just, I feel like close friends is that thing where we're being messy. We're doing stuff that you wouldn't let the masses see.

And I think like, are we drawing the line at close friends? um how many people in your close friends you might have too many people in there babe but it was it was people who were close to me that was like no get them out of there get them banned get a man are they are they were they really saying no or are they is that their version of humor was it like no girl you crazy take this off or was it like ew but you know some people who aren't like as funny as us they say things and they think that it's comedy and it's just not it's just like insulting yeah it's just biting yeah and sometimes and then especially in message form it can sound like that I get a lot of messages like that where people think that they're being

so funny and I used to be like polite and I'll be like haha or I'll put a laugh out loud and now I just leave them on read or I'll be like you know because I had asked like the public I was like what should I do should I just let y'all know y'all not funny and he was like yes girl stop being nice because I'd be I'd be so nice to everybody like I truly am you know should I let y'all know y'all not funny funny yeah yeah they was like yeah because if you if we think you're funny and you're validating us then we're gonna take that into our life we think we're funny I'm like oh no I've been doing a disservice to you yeah so maybe I need to be more mean I think you need to be more selective about who's in the close who's in your close friends yeah that's what I

was there any close friend that surprised you when they were like no because i don't think i mean i didn't i don't watch stories but i so i so i didn't see it but i would not i don't think that even if i saw your feet i would like i'm i was making fun of you in in miami not because you have bad feet your feet were so ashy it's like usually miami is a humid place how can your foot be ashy when the humidity it's tropical like i just came from new york and it was winter time so that's what my body was acclimated to the winter i know but it's like every person you like lotion when you get out the shower yes no these these listen no no no it's like when everybody gets to miami or any place tropical they'd be like it's so good my hair immediately

came alive you know what i'm saying like there wasn't even a sprinkle of moisture on that's what was so surprising and then to put on a rubber shoe listen with cut out rubber shoe on a concrete foot is crazy on a concrete floor well have y'all been walking through the sand no not yet no sand at all Which is regular crosswalk. Were her toes done? I think so. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The toes are done. I would never make Sidney feel bad about her, like, you know, anybody feel bad about their feet, but it's like. That's God. If you mad at my feet. So that's why I'm asking him. God also gives lotion. The Lord taketh and he giveth lotion away. I'm going to work on that.

I'm going to work on being more, more straight. Because I do work on my face and my neck. but there's lots of body parts that I just I miss because I'm you're not going to see it yeah

you know so I'm going to do better but I love nobody the shoes had cutouts whatever was there anybody and doesn't she act

like a sister an older sister isn't this older sister behavior this is big sister behavior so you're talking about me as a little sister but this is how you're acting

I saw her foot before we left and suggested do you want to put lotion on it she opted out Oh, so that's the thing. So you put them shoes on,

she knew, you knew they was dry. Sydney, we got to get you some Seymour. Sydney toggled. Look at the bottom. Look at the bottom. What's wrong with the bottom? It's just some lint on it. Sydney, look at the heel.

Look at the anklet. Girl, the same amount of effort you put into getting that anklet, you could have put a little bit of lotion on the heel. I think you have a She can't see that angle I think you have a good foot, Sydney

That's what your foot looked like after you got off of a plane That's good, that's a good foot You just need to lotion Give her some of that Marie Will you do the honors? This is crazy Will you do the honors?

Girl, I'm ready for the summertime I'm outside You're ready for winter time Also, I think you need to loosen the anklet a little bit. Yeah? Yeah. I think it's just the swelling from the plant. From the plant, I'm swollen.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I've taken it all into consideration. You just need a pomade. You need a... You need a butter. Yeah, you need a butter. You need a shea butter. Yeah, you need something to penetrate.

That's what's happening. Girl, you need to start drinking sea moss, maybe. You know what you need to do, Sydney? You need to put on... That's your Dr. Sebi me now on my fucking heels. Sydney, you need to put on oil before you towel off on your feet. And I know you got some oils at the crib. I do, of course.

But you know, when you see when the older women, especially black women, when you see them on TV, their night routine is always this. It's always a cream. Mm-hmm. Hey, y'all. Listen. Our sisters here, they're not here for the dryness. They are not here for it. So don't be like me.

But the fact that you're so brave to take your shoe off, knowing what your feet be looking like, is why we heart you so bad. Because it's like, what? I don't know if I'm brave enough to take my shoes off right now. I'm not. And I have cutouts. But it's like, it disguises it enough. Right. You know, I like your feet.

And I lotioned before I left the crib. Yeah. And I like your feet, too. But it's been a six-hour ride. It's been a long flight. So, hey, I'm leaning in. Be more cringe. Do whatever you need to do to feel free and be yourself.

because we're all trying to be in this little perception. Oh, I agree. And I'm done. I'm done. I'm exhausted. I agree. Great job, girl. That's the answer to your close friends question, friend.

You need to take them people out. Or just keep doing what you're doing and do it how you do it. And the thing is, you can't get out of close friends unless you unfollow the person. No, you can remove someone from your close friends. No, no, no. I'm talking about the people. They can't leave. They can't get out.

Yeah, but no one's making them believe. You should put Rihanna in your close friends. You should do that. just have Rihanna in my first one I dare you but she won't get a notification right

no because she's following her yeah yeah if the bubble is green she'll see it yeah but you know she a mother now

she probably not mother's not gonna be on close friends bitch I mean I'm just saying she ain't scrolling oh okay I'm at her though I'm doing it

because Sydney said to do it well Zainab we're so glad that you're you are obviously somebody that I love

I look up to and I'm so glad that you were able to do the pod we heart you down let the people know where they can find you what you got going on where's the special going to be

I am filming my second special when will this come out we don't know probably soon because we need to roll up the rotation okay they can follow me on all social media it's Zainab Johnson

Z-A-I-N-A-B Johnson my website is Zainab Johnson TikTok is TheZainabJohnson And if you haven't already, I would love for you guys to go check out my first special in anticipation of my second special, Hijabs Off, which is still available on Prime Video. Prime Video, yes. Now, anything else? Rinse your lettuce.

If you see a bug at a restaurant, don't eat there. That's the manager. And lotion your feet. And Marie sold multiple episodes of Why Are You Single? Oh, yay. And it's going to be on TV, babe. and we will be moisturized

we will moisturized I'll be in the audience like yay yes make sure you guys leave reviews

and tell everybody about us and subscribe to the Patreon blah blah blah we love you down bye Mesties bye

Mest with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcast created and hosted by

Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries.

If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.