MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Bye Bye Marie

Episode Date: February 16, 2018

Marie's in LA but the podcast still thrives. The ladies catch up on various topics. From the girls using Thinx panties all the way to Marie banging Tha Game in Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles. Spilling Russell Simmons Phat Farm tea, would you ever hook up with his yoga retreat ass? Who doesn't have herpes in Hollywood? Sydnee lists the Hoe Rules for the year. Grab a pen and paper to take all the messy notes.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey! Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast. Hey, hey. How's everybody doing? Sydney, how are you? Hey, Marie. I'm sick, but I'm great, you know? I mean, we sound like the same man. Oh, man. It's rough, except you sound like a man that's, like, energized. Transitioning? No, you seem like you have energy. Me, I'm holding on by a thread. Well, how long have you been awake, dude? Let's take a step back.

I've been awake for a couple hours. i got up at 8 a.m okay and this is interesting i can't because i wake up congested and i can't breathe so i wake up early because i'm literally dying now you know how fat people feel ew did i just say ew to fat people that's so rude so sorry for the larger people that are listening i'm listening to the podcast my bad my bad fat people like to laugh hi fat friends i like to call them large i don't know if large is better than fat thick actually thick i like thick because thick means you have shape there's that energy uh thick is uh a word that is thrown around in the black community inappropriately everybody's not thick some of y'all are fat

damn marie this is no body shaming no no no no this is no body shaming this is the unofficial expert and i'm the unofficial expert of people not knowing what thick means okay well i don't like to call people you know fat that's a lie because if something happens if there's a crime that's committed you're like yeah i saw the whole thing the fat guy fell aha you said guy i called men fat i don't have no problem shaming a man you feel like it was a fat lady that fell no no no no no you go and then he hit this fat lady no i'm like you don't say she was i'm like the thick the thick lady that's a damn she looked like she was in king's magazine that's a damn lie no no we starting out rude up top i mean i think we have to start off pretty rude so people know

oh this is the right podcast for me true true true and is it really rude like i mean i remember you said the king magazine are those magazines still out yes they are they are who's buying those uh thick king magazine cover model quote-unquote model magazines uh niggas in jail please that's like two packs of cigarettes no people be sending it to the dudes in jail beating their dicks to the double x magazine you know that's little kim i know i know that's how many look to the ticket to this oh oh can they bring that back little kim and cisco i think cisco's probably fat now okay i'm gonna let you know that he is pleasantly plump he did a concert with maya and she was done up and he was there in like a track suit yeah but it was like one of

those housewives i'm running some errands track suit so they had rhinestones and rhinestones and it was like and it said juicy on the butt no i mean that's exactly when you said he had on a tracksuit, that's what I envisioned. Yeah, he was like, running errands. He was running to the post office real quick. He had on slides with socks. Going to Bergdorf's with the girls. With the girls.

And he had a hat visor type situation. It was sad. I was like, Maya's in here in a leather... She had a leather skirt, and then she had something with her braids. She performed in braids? She was doing a lot. I was like, okay, Maya. She was not doing enough.

No, she was. She looked good. Listeners, Google Cisco And my current concert Did they perform At a mall? Because in my mind, that's where it was They performed near Auntie Anne's It was a Cinnabon on one side

And a Brookstone on the other side And a Krispy Kreme in the back And Cisco probably had donut crumbs on his chest And he was like It's all about me, me, me Y'all don't really want to Unleashed a dragon. Yeah, that's what it is.

Okay. Does he have a dragon chain on? I don't know. I don't think he's into dragons anymore. I feel like there's a certain type of man that's into kung fu and dragons and fireballs. Yeah, they're called nerds. No, I don't think it's a nerd thing. I really don't think it's a nerd thing.

What cool dude do you know that's like, yeah, you know I'm really into these Yu-Gi-Oh cards? Well. Not a single cool man that you know. In the early 2000s, everybody was trying to get. In the early 2000s, we were in high school. In the early 2000s, we didn't care about it, but there was dudes who were getting tattoos of dragons and putting it around their belly button.

Well, that's because dragons were popping in the early 2000s. I remember people would wear those oversized silk button-up shirts with a dragon on the back. Yes, and they're still popular because of who? Game of Thrones. They're not still popular. Dragons are cool on Game of Thrones. That's it.

Not on a shirt. You don't want to date a dude. I don't want to date a dude with a dragon blouse. That's not my... No. That don't make me wet. Whenever I see a guy in a dragon shirt, he's usually at the airport.

He's like, pull the collar around, pull the collar around. That's somebody's dad. Yeah. It's like, why can't I get in one of these golf carts? I got a bad knee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you have a dragon shirt. You're obviously old.

Those are hand-me-downs, you know? Exactly. That's a mess. Anyway, we're roasting men's fashion. That was a good rant for a little bit. um yeah so we doing uh we trying to do these podcasts while you gonna be in la yep so uh for uh on paper i keep saying a month but i i think i'm gonna be gone until april yes yes yes so you gonna miss me or now actually no yeah yeah me too i was like i was like you know what this

is perfect time for marie to leave so i can uh you know spread your wings and fly no just not talk to somebody every day i talk to adrian every day i don't talk to you every day anymore though no because i was like she going to la i can you're weeding yourself off me yes hilarious yeah so uh i think the listeners want to know if you're gonna have a replacement for the month and a half that i'm gone people are sliding in my dm so people are asking me if they can slide into my slide literally people are like so marie's leaving and i just wondered like you know sometimes you know how you're gonna do the show and what are you gonna do for for the hot box white women white women i was like uh you would have to be black for you to replace marie they gonna pop up in

zoe seldana blackface then nina simone blackface i was like uh i don't know i think i'm good on my own how many people have messaged you uh five five people yeah wow yeah it was it was really funny because they're like oh marie's going to la so what are you guys going to do with the podcast i was like what do you mean what are you going to do with the podcast we gonna keep thriving what do you mean what are you going to do well can i be i know i'm not funny or anything but can i also be on the podcast since marie's not going to be there to be mean and cut me down white women are disrespectful shout out to all the rude white women listening to this those are my i want to say least favorite but also my favorite type of white women what the rude bold ones what you like

sis where are you getting this confidence from i mean listen nobody's replacing you because i'm irreplaceable to the left to the left no i literally have no energy for anyone not even myself so has adrian asked you if she could do the podcast instead of me she said how come you guys haven't had me on yet that's what she asked can we have adrian on let's have her on saturday what does she want to be i don't know let's just sit down and talk to her oh my god this will be a painful episode no it's not it's gonna be good i'm already i hurt my stomach it's gonna be funny i feel like i'm sick because what happens is when me and you are together we were like adrian and then when you get with adrian you're like oh sydney yeah she does this and they do that and

and then i'm like oh is this gang up on sydney day i mean you're a pretty easy target i really am and it's not right i need you guys it's okay it's not right it's not fucking right let's have on the podcast so you want us to gang up on you that's what you're saying no because you want her on the podcast you know what's gonna happen i want us to chat it up i mean we could just shop it up we could uh roast adrian yeah let's do it well give me some give me the inside scoop on adrian so that like i know what i should say marie i tell you everything what are you talking about i know she just got laid off but she's still damn why are you telling my girl's business you've already said this on everybody listening knows it sounds worse i'm gonna turn your thing off

down because you loud and people uh you blow in people's uh headphones speakers uh i just i feel like you've already talked about that on the podcast she's unemployed but she's making more money than both of us still no she just got another gig for next week i said how the fuck are you getting all these gigs she's like yeah if i do well then i'll have it for a month and then i won't have to work for uh april april and may i was like are you fucking kidding me wow yeah she's setting up for april and may yeah i mean because she has a rate when you freelance you fucking you give them whatever price you want this is what a day this is what i get paid a day i know but people who are freelance you know sometimes they be coming back at you with like a no we're not

gonna pay that no but she's making money she's really good at her job what the hell is her job i don't know tell me you ain't got no job no but she's got a job she does have a job and she's really good. She's a jack of all trades. She could do whatever. I think they call them lesbians of all trades. Wow. It had nothing to do with gender. It's just she could do whatever. Honestly, I think for women it's Jill of all

trades. Jill of all trades. But I mean she is a lesbian, so Jack is fine. She's, I mean she just got another gig and I'm just sitting there like another gig. Well, I'm working on my one woman show. What you doing? She's like

I'm making money. I know. To support you, you're a kept woman. She's like, you really are a one-woman show. Yeah, but Adrienne's doing the lighting and the sound. Oh, my God. She owns the building. So sad. She's booking.

She's printing out the flyers. I'm so depressed. I can't. I was like, man. I was depressed a little bit the other day, too. It's like. Wait, why? So, I mean, I don't want to bring the mood down or anything, but I'm quite poor.

Oh, I thought you were going to be like, well, I found a lump in my breast. like i don't check my breath that's what i thought i was like bring the food down you've been saying you poor since we started this podcast yes yes yes yes but the other day i got to look at my account balance and i was like you know what i have to make money in la or else you will i can't afford to like you live dude honestly i wouldn't even stress it there's people surviving in L.A. and I don't need a house. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Those are called homeless people. I don't want to be that. I was talking to somebody who said that she knows this guy who had money and lived in a house in San Francisco

and he lost the house and now he can't find a place to stay with him and his big ass dogs. The dog gotta go. Two dogs. Both the dogs gotta go. He sleeps in the park.

Or the dogs gotta work. No, the dogs gotta go. They gotta work. They can be service dogs. he got two big ass hairy ass dogs and he's like i i want to be with my dogs well i said that sounds real white of him well you don't like animals so you don't have to worry about somebody like bringing you down they're not gonna let it it's not it's not about not getting in because of my dogs it's not getting in because of my credit my credit is my two big dogs oh my god they're like

it says that your credit is 200 is that right you're lying i'm like it's other pages coming I think the rest of my credit's on these other pages. You're a lie. Don't worry. I feel like, you know, it's going to be so much going on during pilot season. People are looking for jobs. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Everybody and their mom is going to be in LA, right? So I

got up today and I was looking up, you know, like how much actors get paid for like episodes of things. And all the articles were really depressing. It was like, these networks don't want to pay. The stars get this much. And then like actors that used to make a couple thousand in a couple days are making like eight hundred dollars and i was like who's making eight hundred

dollars me who eight hundred dollars i don't know i was just reading these articles on like deadline and hollywood reporter and stuff and i was like wow you don't need that negativity in your in your sphere that's the problem don't be reading deadline just go out there and be like god is good jesus is real god is good he's going to make sure that whatever is for you is going to happen thank you sister washington but what if acting is not for me what if for me is like what if being homeless is for me you sound real haitian right now jesus is real i sound real haitian what does that even mean just the negativity um sydney you're not haitian but you'd be sounding haitian too then if that's what i think i'm like haitian by default i don't even know who my dad listen i

just watched um will smith do a parody of his son's music video i watched that and it i've never wanted a father until i saw that video i was like damn i just want somebody to be proud of me like that and just mimic me that's fucking i've never wanted a dad ever i i could care less about having a dad in my life and seeing that like making somebody that proud of you that also birthed you like what no not he didn't birth him he came out of will smith's penis he like gave the sperm to make him who he is it's just fucking crazy and then i was like actually i just want will smith to be my dad that's it i don't want a dad you want a regular i don't want a regular i have a dad you can borrow sam i love sam you can borrow samuel i actually like him a lot please he's sweet

you've met my father one time i've met him more than once when was the other time you met my dad when were you hanging out with my dad wow i've been to your house more than once jesus oh that's right yeah yeah yeah yeah sydney came to my house and we were all roasting each other and she was like i think it's time to go i was like i gotta take a nap she's like i'm gonna go ahead i'm gonna go to sleep hide in the driveway and i was like but we got a driveway though yeah but it was it was so beautiful and i was like damn i don't have anybody to just be that happy about any product that i put out there that's a lie you got a girlfriend i'm here i'm happy for stuff that you put out nigga you don't even like my shit that's a damn lie i do like your stuff let's go

to your let's go to your last three instagram posts i like everything that you post it'd be late it'd be late i don't because i unsubscribe from i mean i i log off of my instagram at when i'm not using it because i don't like the notifications because i get distracted oh i took all the notifications off take your take your notifications off all your phones but the problem was that, is when somebody messages me on Instagram. Not Instagram, but Facebook Messenger or anything. I don't get

it. So I don't know. There'll be a gig and I was like, oh shit, I hadn't checked it in like three days. And somebody had asked. And then I wrote back and they're like, it's filled. I said, well, y'all didn't want me that bad. I know. You wasn't really looking for me.

You could have sent me a pigeon. You know I'm out in these streets doing shows. You know where I be. you know where the shows i put my shows up you know where the fuck i am anyway yeah so just speaking of putting shows up mariefaustin.com is live yes i saw it it looks great honestly i just wanted to be one simple clean page i want people to look at it and be like oh she got her business yes yes yes right doesn't it look like i'm doing more than i am no no no it doesn't look like i'm i've done more than i have yes it looks good and it's simple and it's kind of like okay well i see

her face and i definitely want to book that right i put my resume on there today and my booking information i put my manager's email uh but also my emails on there too just in case kate don't respond booking inquiries and then management yes well yeah i wanted it to be i went to so many different people's websites i went on uh people that we know i went on but i didn't want like a comedian goofy page i don't want people to think of me as a clown i want people to be like oh she you know she she a thespian she acting see this is a this is a solid headshot i didn't want like comic seance and i didn't want like bubble letters i wanted to be oh no no no that's not mean i went on beyonce.com i was like this i don't like this yeah when i do my page i just want i

don't even know if i'm gonna put up like videos and stuff like that i'm just gonna put like a picture and where you could contact me and like contact my twitter and my instagram put all that in there yeah and like you did and that's it i think i would like to put a reel but i don't have one yet so when i get it you don't have a real yet i feel like you're always shooting video and doing people crappy ass web series every time i get the footage back i'll be like this is what you got from this ah and there'll be like a little there's a there's a good part of me and i'm like ah is that worth putting in the reel though i mean if the reel is short like you can have a really short one like 30 seconds yeah i'm thinking about it i have mad video clips of me on stage so

i could put that in my reel um yeah put a couple of those put a couple but then also if you're trying to do acting stuff you should have acting stuff on there too yeah yeah yeah i mean i have the talking head stuff from vidiots and then i have a few things that are all scattered every but i gotta rip it off um online that's what i gotta do listen just google youtube to mp4 Put the link in That's what you've been doing Otherwise you're waiting for people to send you clips of yourself And they don't do that

They never write back Yeah yeah yeah I got you They never send it Oh you know I don't have enough storage Shut the fuck up You know what my laptop It just blew up the other day That's on my mother's computer

Oh man my external hard drive You know what that's on my laptop And I'm currently on my typewriter with wifi All these fucking excuses in it It's like, first of all, you had me do that whack-ass gig for free. The least you could do is give me my fucking footage up front. Like, what are you doing? My footage up front.

I want my footage up front. You don't want it to be, like, edited at all? No. Like a grainy. I'll edit my own shit. I'll edit my own shit. You'll throw your own filter on it? I'm an iMovie nigga.

Give me my shit. Like, you're not paying me. Give me my footage now. Now. And then I don't know why I thought websites were so much more money. I thought they were a lot more expensive. But Squarespace is a good look We're not sponsored by them

So don't run over there They should Sponsor us They need to Fuck Where our sponsorship at? I've been seeing everybody's podcasts and stuff And I'm like this podcast is whack

Not ours but theirs How they get Sponsorship How they get thinks to sponsor their shit Thinks? Is that the underwear for women Who don't want to wear tampons? With your nasty ass

Yeah Nasty ass panties Some of those panties It's a sponge It's a sick Panty Okay I have them

They're actually chill You are gross They are I did that Because I wanted to see How it is How much did those panties cost? $18 I think

For one panty Yeah I think so But Full coverage Or you got a little thong We got different styles All styles

I don't think I don't think a thinks panty Should come in a thong It's a thong Because when you have The light days And you're like Oh, I'm not going to put on a thick-ass pad for these little drip drops.

Yeah, but if I'm putting on some blood panties, I feel like they should be full coverage even if it's going to be a light day. No, it's just like, you know, when it's in that little light pinkish stage where you're like, oh, I got a little spotty. Well, that's what you get a panty liner for. Ah. Ah. A panty liner don't cost no $18.

Ah. Do I really want a whole bunch of cotton? I don't know. Listen, this is what they have. I tried it. It was cool. the thing is is that the whole time I'm thinking about this fucking blood

in my panties. And then, you know, blood smells a little after a while. How long are you wearing these panties for? I know you have to change them out real quick. You have to change them out real quick. Dude, that's like changing a baby's diaper. How often do you have to change

these panties? I mean, you could wear it all day. That's how panties work. So you funky. No. You funky and dying. I wouldn't tell nobody to, like, smell me. Yo, sir. Excuse me. Sir, do you do me a favor?

Can you smell my cat? Can you smell my cat? So, final verdict. You recommend them or no? I mean, I didn't pay for them, so it was cool. But I wouldn't, I don't know. I wouldn't go out dancing in these things. Do it, because you definitely don't blow your head.

In the commercials, though, women be dancing. They be doing splits. Nah, sis. They be at yoga. Sis. they're hiking don't you why would you yoga come on boo just wait it out you can last four days without doing yoga you're straight don't worry i mean i mean i don't care about yoga yoga is boring of all the of all the things to do yeah but the things was cute i was like you know what i'll do

this on a on a random day but like how like what if i sit too fast in my thinks is blood gonna splatter everywhere nope so how does it what's the science here i don't know but it's like it's like the blood goes all the way up to the waistband of the top of the panty? Somebody passed me on the stomach and then blood goes everywhere? It's like having a pad in the crotch part, but it soaks everything up and

even if you squeeze out the panty, the blood doesn't come out. So the blood lives in the panties now? I guess so. Those sound like some funky-ass drawers. You gotta hand wash them? Yeah, I do. I hand wash them. That's why they're not clean. Shut the fuck up. I know you don't have good hand washing skills. Your hands are too soft.

Are they? Do you see my hands? i mean they're yellow but i don't think that that looks like it's been through a thousand miles it looks like i walk on my hands and i will walk 500 miles that's what my hands look like like i literally walk to the corner store or my hands your hands look like oh like a like i play the violin or yeah like a white lady who plays Keep on falling Actually, Alicia Keys has little Nubby hands

Little nub nubs Little nub nubs You're holding with them little nubs Oh, that's stupid Little nubs McNub nub People don't know what we're talking about There's a video on YouTube now

And it's this dude This black dude redid the Spongebob characters in the background. But they're black. It's little thin black sardines. And they're like, what you finna order? It's like customers

be like at a restaurant. And you know they never, let me get um... You know how long they take to figure out what they want. You think if you hold the... You'll figure it out by the time you're done saying the word. Let me get um...

I don't know. Sometimes you get up there and you're like, I want this. And then you change your mind. Listen, sometimes you have an idea in your mind of what you want. And then you see somebody else in front of you get something else. And you're like, oh, that does look good. Yeah, and that's how it feels in relationships. You know, you're like, oh, yeah, I want a relationship.

That's a lot. And then you see your friend out thriving all single. That's a lot. Let me get on. Let me get on. no because when i was in a relationship you were like ew that's whack you have a man you need to leave him because you were with a man and then i left him and you got a girlfriend and you were like we're moving in together i'm leaving my washer and dryer and we're getting cats and i

was like you're like i don't want that def don't want that and then but then you saw me at dinner i was like i didn't even bring my wallet you're like oh being gay is not that bad but then you also saw us split several checks before you're like y'all be venmoing each other i'm like my boyfriend was trying to get me to download Venmo for a whole year. And I was like, I don't have enough space in my phone. And then when we broke up,

I was like, I owe him mad money. You owe that nigga so much money, dude. You owe him everything. If it was him and I saw you in the street, I'm like, excuse me. He don't come downtown. Downtown. Well, I mean, he's going to bump into you.

And he's like, so... I feel like we need to talk. no that's only gonna happen like if i when i become famous like he'll see my face on a bus as he's leaving his house and he'll be like you know who i need to reach out to marie for all that money she need to venmo me yeah i want to do a show about breaking up with somebody and then they become famous and then you see their face everywhere and it just reminds you all the shit that they used to do and then it's just that journey of trying to get in touch with that person so you're like hey i really feel like we need to talk because if i'm gonna keep seeing

your face around here yeah but that's like an episode of a show the whole show would be that no no that sounds like a short yeah also like i feel like it would be funny if you finally get to the person and you're like trying to get into the hotel room or whatever or trying to get into their the vip area or whatever and then you finally see them and the bouncer's like no no no no no no no poor people past this point like they did kevin i was thinking the same thing like they did kevin heart at the Super Bowl. Yeah, I mean, honestly, if anybody I had sex with

became famous, you would find them? I mean, I have a situation where the nigga was on the brink, and then all of a sudden, I was like, you got a Netflix special? God damn it. The nigga was on the brink. He was on the brink of blowing up, and I was like,

this guy in the Jordans, in the hoodie. Oh my God. Really? he was at the cellar and they're like oh he's about to blow up i was like this guy he looked like he'd take out the trash he looked like he's the he's the dishwasher yeah they were like nah man you don't know maybe this is just an off day it's like off day but what when one day is his own day a leap year thing every four years he got an own day i was like is that a fat farm puffer he got on oh my god remember the fat farm sneakers that everybody was obsessed with

No, I never remember that. You don't remember them? They looked like the Stan Smiths, but they had the P on the side? Nope, never remembered it. I only saw them in the magazine. I said, ain't nobody wearing these shits, except Russell. You saw them with his rough cod? Ain't nobody wearing this shit except that nigga who made them.

Well, Russell Simmons was one of these Me Too niggas. John Travolta, remember they said that he harassed a male dude that was giving him a massage? i thought that's what was going to be the russell simmons story too but apparently it's women that he was harassing well this is off the record but on the record because it's on the podcast but you know i used to serve russ yes several times and he would come in with women that were fairly younger than him of course and he's a cool 58 i thought he was a million and the women were are like they'd be like 20 gorgeous tall models that in this situation okay i don't know if i'm gonna have anybody on my side but these girls knew what the fuck was up they knew

they hanging out with this dude that could be a great uncle yep and he's obviously taking around there he's famous they're going places they trying to make a name for themselves it's a it's a give and take it's one of those situations where there's no way that this this young girl doesn't know what's up he's old as fuck you think he want to be your friend oh he wants to be you think this yoga this yoga retreat ass fat farm having dude is trying to be your friend you are crazy i mean if i'm gonna be friends with somebody who's that old trust and believe they're paying for everything and i might could give up some ass that's what was the situation i mean that's what it is it is we all got bills we got dreams we got goals i don't want to pay my rent and russell simmons is

you know he here i only got to see him and his wrinkly cialis dick once a week no thank you and you know he ain't got no ass no thanks i don't know he got that sunken severe white man butt i mean at the time if i was drinking maybe but sober looking at that no i have no patience once week? I can't. Once every other week you have to bang Russell Simmons. No, I can't do it. I literally just don't have the tolerance for it. He probably has like a squishy penis.

I can't even think about actual, any penis going in my mouth. I'm not thinking about that either. In any office. Why are you going there? But you said Russell Simmons and I was like, I can't think of anybody. Even if somebody was hot. I said Russell Simmons and you immediately go to penis in your mouth?

Wow, you have lived, sis. You have lived. I mean, you think he's not asking these girls to go down on him? Down, down. Do you not think that? Russell Simmons, I have herpes. I don't want you to get it on your penis

from my mouth. Is that how herpes works? I don't think any... You think he don't have it? You don't think he don't have it? If Usher Raymond has it, he has it. If Usher Raymond has it, everybody has it. There's no way. That's true.

Everybody in Hollywood does date everybody. yeah like come on dude and you know they're not wearing no condom let's go back if usher has it then chili got it if chili got it then who did chili date she's dated everybody oh are we gonna play this game yes let's play six degrees of herpes we gonna play this one degree of her herparation i feel like t-boss probably kissed chili on the mouth before so she got it that means warren g got it let me give you something to think about That's left eye But T-Boz was saying that

Let me give you something to think about When she gets chilly You can buy a hair that won't grow What's another TLC song? Don't go chasing waterfalls Here's some herpes I need a quick thought nigga Yeah, I mean, honestly, so you're telling me T-Boz and Chill, you've never kissed before?

No, we've never kissed. Yeah, but that, these are girls who are famous. So, if you were famous, I still wouldn't kiss you. When you're famous and you drink, I don't drink, so. If I was wasted, I might have fell and kissed you before. I was looking for a lump in your breast. I'm sorry. Doing the breast exam.

Girl, we ain't never did no molly together. Like, there could have been a situation. I did molly with you. You were sober. Yeah, and I was basically babysitting. You were. I was trying to make sure niggas don't touch. Don't touch her!

Don't touch her! Back up! Back up! Back up! I was basically a security guard. You were my bouncer. You were my Kevin Costner. And I...

That's what I was doing. So, yeah. But, okay, so Usher got it. Chili got it. See, I mean, Chili has dated so many people. Who has Chili dated? She was on that show where it was like, find Chili a man. Did Chili and The Game kiss?

The Game definitely got it. Game got something. Oh, man. He's so fine. Really? Yes. You think The Game is fine? Listeners, you don't think The Game is fine?

Please Google The Game. First of all, his name is The Game. I thought for years his name was just Game. And they're like, no, it's The Game. I'm like the weekend But spelled incorrectly Please look up the game The game look like he has sex

He has sex but he like dips his penis in Hennessy Like that's what the game looks like No he's definitely pouring Hennessy on you Before he fucks you Yes yes yes yes yes yes He's got pretty eyes too Those are true blends No they're not

He got those contacts at the mall in Jamaica On Jamaica Ave He definitely beating you if you say something crazy to him The game is choking you while you have sex, but when you pass out, then he comes. It's not for you. It's for him.

Yeah, he's definitely... Also, wasn't he a porn star? Or like a stripper? The game looks dirty. I don't like too many tattoos like that. It makes your skin look dingy. Marie, so you're telling me... A face tattoo like that?

Marie, so you're telling me you were never hooked up with a dude that possibly looked a little dirty? okay i'm saying yes okay no they never looked dirty though they never look dirty i like things that smell nice yeah i'm sure he smells good come on sis you tell me i'm not here for the face tattoo also but i do need to get a hood nigga on the roster for 2018 no that beard looks itchy his beard looks like it has like mites yo you're too fucking difficult dude i don't like the way you're gonna find in 2018 that is that looks clean that's no that

you're gonna have on a checklist you're like oh how is this deep how we smell what he wearing he has to smell nice dude i can't be funny does he have money it's like come on bitch like live it up you can't be a hoe with all these standards yes i can no you can't i can absolutely you gotta let the game bust one you know what it is hey hey it's the game listening to the podcast right now the game. Bust a nut in my friend. No, don't bust a nut in me. I'm busy. Put it in her ear. I just got my website up, the game. You can't, can we

look up his real name? What is the game's real name? I feel like it's like Darius. Gerard. J-C-O-N. J-C-O-N. J-C-O-N. Oh my God. J-C-O-N. J-A-Y C-E-O-N. I feel like in 2018, you could fuck a J-C-O-N

while you're in L.A. A J-C-O-N? Well, the game is California. Okay, so when you go to L.A., and you, I don't know, be a hoe or whatever, are you going to wait to the end of the trip to tell me or are you going to tell me while you're there? I was planning on waiting until the end of the trip to tell you. You think I should tell you while it's happening?

So you can report back? If you want to maintain a healthy friendship with a long-distance friendship, I feel like we got to talk at least once a week. You got to FaceTime me or something. Okay, I'll FaceTime you from the bed. Okay. So you...

After you're hooked up with Nicky? I don't want to do that. No. can you in a nice corner somewhere with some good lighting just update me once a week once a week if you let jc on bus bus one in that ass it's not gonna bus one in no okay well listen you gotta let it come on is the game dating somebody right now because i feel like he days hood rats that i think he's single how old is jc on 37 let's see hold on no he's six four that's your type Oh, 6'4".

That's your type. That's your type. He's 6. That's how tall he is? He's 6'4". That's totally you. Look at B.W. Lyon. He's 6'2".

And he's got a big-ass chest. He's got a long... Oh, his back. Girl. I feel like I've seen his dick print, and I feel like it's pretty big. It's so big. I don't have insurance, though. 1979.

79 is... I'm not going to do the math. It's 39, 38, 40. Yes. He's older. He's older, but he doesn't look old. Okay, so Sydney, I feel like you've lived your whole phase. What are some rules that you have for me to maintain, you know, the whole lifestyle in L.A.?

Okay, first of all, you can't call a friend and ask, do you think, there's no thinking. Don't ask for other people's. Oh, no, I wasn't going to, I was, do you think it's safe to get, no. This is what I'll do. I'll take pictures of the license plates, send them to you. Yes. Then the next day report back with, you know, what the stats were. yes but i'm saying like you you can't think too much about it you just got to go with the flow

but make sure you're safe just make sure somebody knows where you're going okay so then it can't be you then because you're going to be in new york i'm a mess yeah it gotta be somebody in there because there's what i'm going to do is three hours and you know my phone be delayed so by the time i get some phone don't be charged yeah exactly on one percent you're gonna be like she probably still having sex with jaycee on yeah i'm missing for three days you're like she's still Hey let the bitch be a hoe Let my friend hoe People be worried

I'm like oh she's somewhere hoeing She good Ho it up Watch it fall out Watch it fall out Also Hoeing You gotta get your panty game up

Cause I know how your panties be Sis I don't be wearing thick ass Think panties Your panty lines be popping I like a panty line I hate a thong I loathe a thong sis I throw some in there dude

Throw some in there You gotta let a amigos Whatever amigos nigga I don't want amigos Bite your thong off Like it's a garter Oh like at a wedding You gotta let him do it

You gotta get some thongs with some rhinestones Some real tacky ones Get some Claire's accessory thongs sis i want you to bedazzle the fuck out of your thong if anybody listening has a bedazzler that we can borrow before saturday let me know okay uh another thing about being a hoe um preferably you know you gotta get a little loose so you gotta have like at least two drinks just two drinks two but even when you have two you be sipping on it and then it'd be the two be lasting for the whole night it's like you're not really drunk i don't know how you're gonna be as a hoe girl oh my god

i feel like i need to be present as a hoe though yes you can be present i feel like i can't i don't want to be a i don't want to be drunk you don't want to be like ebony no from players club players club yeah no i don't want that make the money don't let the money make you uh that's the movie of the week in case y'all are wondering players club that's also the movie for do your research and watch that if you haven't i don't even know why you're listening to the podcast why do you even know us um yeah you should be present but i will tell you some of the best nights can't even remember yeah and how you know they did best nights oh man put his dick in your nose nose had a good ass time the nose had a good ass time uh and and you gotta go to fun spots you gotta go to

spots that you wouldn't normally go because that's where the fun is at if you go to a place that you would go but if i'm gonna be in la i'm gonna be going to places that i wouldn't normally go yeah yeah yeah so you any places like i'm not gonna be like uh is this a checkers i recognize checkers i'm going like what no that's not that's not gonna be my truth on the west coast yeah so any Any place could be your whole ambiance. Okay, anything that you don't want me to do while I'm in L.A.? I preferably wouldn't want you to be with a beige man, but I feel like you're going to do it anyway.

It's probably going to happen at least one time. Yeah. At least once. It's fine. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? I could just not tell you about that. I mean, do you really want to have secrets between me and you?

Do you want that? We don't have any secrets between us? No, Marie. i i feel like i'm very open i'm more open on this fucking podcast than anybody in the fucking world that's because you dumb we love you sydney washington i was at this meeting yesterday with comedy central not to brag and i was talking to them about how uh we had a drug expert on and everything that she said she had done you were like yeah yeah me too well when i did meth the first time and i was like are you told comedy central that i did

but they listen to the podcast hey comedy central oh my god well when you go to your meeting next week make sure you reiterate that uh you're you're sober now oh very sober i hope you i hope you said that to you like my friend whose journey was quite crazy i talked about you doing ketamine more than one time marie and there was a girl there never gonna i was in a meeting it was six people in there everybody was like oh my god but one person was quiet and she was like honestly i I did K once, and it was amazing. She did it several times. She's a fucking liar.

She was like, it was amazing. And then this other girl was like, wow, why did you do ketamine? Did you think it was something else? That's a judgy-ass bitch right there. She was like, what did you think it was? I don't know what she's into either. What does she look like? Why would you do ketamine?

She has short hair. I'm like, first of all, we're going to start up top. Why you should do ketamine? I made a little PowerPoint presentation. Prepare a PowerPoint. A little PowerPoint for y'all. Bring a laser pointer and just be like, well, here you go. Why you should have ketamine in your life?

Honestly. Damn, I can't believe you did that. Bitch, you just threw me under the whole bus depot. How am I going to sell myself now? Will you sell yourself? How have you been selling yourself, sis? Oh, God. That was like such... Well, now I'm trying to revamp myself. But I'm just like...

You're revamping the image? Yes. So no more talking about your age and no more talking about drugs that you've done? I haven't told my age in a minute. Yes, sis. I had to wean you off of that. I've been throwing 50 out there. I said 27 to 50. I said 27-50

That's my age now That's hilarious Yes I'm trying to revamp it But I'm also trying to see Like what's fun about me now Because I talk about All this stuff

That was fun in the past But what am I doing fun now I'm in a relationship I'm gay And I'm sober It's that I'm like How do you sell this

That's the true effect Of terrible I'm like How do you sell this How do you make this Like that's another reason Why I feel so disconnected With my friends

Because they know The old me So I feel like i gotta wipe all these motherfuckers out of my life because i'm like you knew me when i was the one who get the party started i was the one to be like nah nah nah we going all the way to westchester to a party that's that's westchester bitch one night one night one night wait wait can we set the scene real quick for those of y'all who don't know what westchester is it's where white people with money move when they they too fancy for the city and they want a yard yes westchester if you

want if you want a gazebo Westchester. Wraparound porch Westchester. Two car garage Westchester. So we were already at this party it was already 4 4.30. It was shutting down. It was shutting down or it was done? It was shutting down. It was closing up.

And we were trying to figure out somewhere else to do because we had already just dropped some more molly. We dropped it. When you say dropped I mean it's been dropped in your mouth. Dropped a molly you're sweating. So we already are fucked up but we're like well we're not going home yet because we already did this other job. You can't just do a fresh

molly drop and then go home. No, you can't. And we knew damn well the party was almost over, but we live on the edge. You know what I mean? It was like, we'll see where this goes. So... Your eyes are all bloodshot. Your mouth is like, your teeth are grating each other. No, girl. I was 25 at the time, so I was always fresh-faced, always moisturized.

People would see me at like 7 o'clock in the morning like, did you just get up? I'm like, no, bitch. I'm black, okay? I've been up. I'm black and I'm young. Haven't been to bed yet. I don't sleep. I'm up. It's still tomorrow for me. woke i stay alive what are you talking about so we're at the party and then um somebody get a text from this dude who's got like lives in this mansion in westchester and he got all the drugs

and all the drinks and they're like oh should we go but where were y'all at the party that was at four o'clock uh we were somewhere in midtown y'all went from mid how do you get to westchester you took a train you have to go car this guy got a car for us oh that's nice they got the car they were like okay he's gonna get a car for us and we're gonna i had just i had gotten out of work met them at this party and then they were like oh boom i as soon as i got there i was like yo where the drugs at i do the drugs and then they're like up lights fuck like you know like where the drugs at and then the lights and the details like this is the last one of the night my love do you ever because that's the song that always played at the end

the night but not at white people's house no no but they were playing like a house music version of that so it was like my love yeah they were playing the uh the remix something like that anyway so everybody's like ah should we go i was like yes we're all going so it was like five of us so y'all secure the car the car ride is an hour and a half at 4 o'clock in the morning. That's how far it is. That means there's no traffic at 4 a.m., but it still took an hour and a half.

It was so fucked up. So you get there at 6 a.m.? I took a nap. I took a nap in the car because I was like, I'm too wired. Drugs just hitting your bloodstream if you take a nap.

Yes, but I still got to close my eyes because I got to be ready for this other party. So we get there. We see a girl who's kind of like in a robe or whatever. She don't live there. I was like...

In a robe? Yeah, I knew the girl. I was like, Teresa, what are you doing here? What did Teresa's robe look like? She's like, I've been here for seven days. I said, what? She said, I came here seven days ago for a party,

and I haven't left yet. I said, Lord. Teresa. I said, Lord. Well, you know what happened is Teresa also got a car ride, a car to Westchester, and she was waiting for the car to take her back. She said, I said, is this a halfway house?

What's going on here? But it's a mansion, though. What did the mansion look like? In my mind, it looks like the Britney Spears music video where she's with Tinashe, that sleepover mansion. When I say mansion, bitch, it's a very loose mansion. It was a 2.1 bath. It's a three-bedroom, two-bath.

When I say mansion, it's mansion to me. It's not a real mansion. Oh, my God. It's not like an MTV Cribs. It was a legit crack house. Sidney called it a mansion because it had a mailbox. No. It was like when Redman went to Newark for MTV Cribs.

It was that. And the screen door was ripped. yeah i was like yo that redman episode is the one episode of cribs that i remember more than anything else anywho anywho so i'm there you're in this you're in this crack den crack den with a porch no but it's real nice like the the hardware floors everything looked clean the the walls are still white he was on drugs so everything looked clean and white but that was just the drugs so then there's a party room so there's like a disco ball they've got lights how big is the party room probably the size of my living room no it's a little bit bigger than

this like elisa's room my roommate's room it's like this plus your plus your room plus your roommate's room it's big it's a party it's my entire apartment yeah got it got it got it it's a real party room so they got bottles of gray goose they got all types of mixers they got all this stuff and i'm like okay we could they turn the music on the guy's house is he's a dj so he's gonna be playing music all night so i was like don't even have to worry about the music then they pull out what i thought was cocaine yes yes yes let's get into it it was but you had already done molly yes so for me like i can't imagine mix molly and weed yes but i can imagine mixing molly with cocaine you mix everything or cocaine with anything you mix anything that's free if i

had to if i paid for the molly i would not mix it with cocaine but since it was not my drugs i said hey let's mix some drugs up i'm not what sis listen i don't even want to mix alcohol with with drugs you mixing drugs with drugs drugs a and class drugs drugs alcohol hard narcotics okay go ahead but it was free so i get they kind of are all the same yes exactly so you thought it was cocaine you on molly you had been drinking you're like well let's just add it was meth it was meth and i was like oh now i know why this bitch has been here for seven days You know what? Meth was for poor people. Rich people do meth? Yes.

They do because it's expensive. It's not cheap. Why? But people who ain't got no teeth and shop at Walmart do meth. And they live in trailers. No, sis. It's like over $50 a bag for a little bitty bag. How much does a little bag of cocaine cost? I don't know.

I wasn't really paying for it. I've never paid for drugs in my life. But I feel like cocaine costs... I'm lying. I would like $100. $100. So meth is half the price of cocaine. yes but how much does crack cost i don't know don't ask me these stupid questions the blowjob every time we get on this on the podcast it goes back to something about drug related and i look like the drug mule because you are drug mule i'm not i've never done that in my life i just want the listeners to know that i am not this person anymore i've lived the life but i am no longer

of the life okay shout out to comedy central uh they listen to this right now i have the story and i still have my teeth so please and these are her original teeth i mean most of them yo i can't wait to get some fucking tv some hollywood yo i want i want to go all out i want to go there i want to have glasses on and i want to have like a little little veil on i want to make it like a wedding okay well my tv teeth are the teeth that i have right now they look good i'm just gonna have them like white and i'm a tiny bit i don't want them to be too white i mean my tv teeth is me get an Invisalign. Because I have a good smile. My teeth are decent.

I just have spaces on the side. So literally, and that could have been from the Mali and meth. Anyway. From the meth. You got your meth teeth. Your meth teeth are going to get you on TV though. No. My meth story is going to get me on TV. Intervention?

No. They're just going to be like, wow, you went through all of this. I told my Ruby story last night and people were literally blown away. They were literally like there's no way that this story is true and i said this is bits and pieces of stories but yes this is all of this is mainly true mainly true well i lie when i'm on stage so if you ever come see me just know that i'm lying to you i mean anyway we ended up staying at this dude's place

for a day and a half and then he got it we had to get our friend who had a car to come get us yeah we were like what we were like dude we don't know when we're going back you didn't have nothing to do you said a day and a half so y'all get there at seven o'clock in the morning you're there it was a saturday you're there until monday afternoon yeah i am judging you so hard right now i know and that's that's the thing i'll be bearing my soul to you and i know that you'd be judging me yes i do i know that that's because i'm a good friend no no this but how are you gonna judge the past it's a past you know who i am right now i love that you've lived so much i think it's fantastic because you're pretty if you were ugly and you'd lived all that stuff i'd be like well

obviously but you look fantastic we sure wouldn't because that's how i met you that's how we met oh she's hitting oh you know i gotta go my mouth is dry i gotta go no but i always get worried i'm like dude man i i devote so much i don't hold back and there's still more there's still after well what are you not telling us it listen everybody listening to the podcast right now is curious as to what you holding back you should divulge everything we're fam there's just there's just more there's just what what more what more than meth is there that you're not telling us are we gonna name this more than more than i just can't believe that that was my life for several years i did tell comedy central

that you did these things for several years why are you telling all this stuff about me at the Well, because you weren't there, so I was like, well, in case you want to know who Cindy is, she did meth for several years. Are you serious, Marie? And horse tranquilizer. Marie. But she thought it was cat tranquilizer. People were like, that's a big-ass cat. Are you trying to get me not on Comedy Central?

Sis, honestly, when you go, just, they thought it was hilarious. Yeah, because white people think that shit is funny. And you know it was all white people at the meeting. Every time I tell a black person my story, they're like, I'm going to pray for you. They're like, honestly, well, they think that I'm a survivor, too, because they're like, wow, you went through all of that and you still look like that and you're still in good spirits. I'm like, ah, the good spirits. I'm actually quite depressed, but I won't let my exes know that. No, obviously not.

They don't know, but I've been through a lot. And when I go home, I'm like, I can't believe I've been through that. You're like, oh, my life. Yeah, whenever I pull. I just blast Mary J. Blige in my apartment sometimes. You mean in Adrienne's apartment? Woo. You really?

I mean, did you tell Comedy Central that? They're like, ah, she lives in an apartment that's not hers. No, I didn't tell them that. I didn't tell them that. That's something you could have said. That felt like it was not my place. I didn't feel like it was my place. Marie, you're.

I didn't say anything that you told me in confidence. I said, like, stuff that, like, has been shared on the podcast with, you know, a couple thousand of our closest friends. Yeah. You know? I plugged your one-woman show that's coming up in March. What's the date? 18th. March 18th.

And where? At the Duplex. At the Duplex. I plugged the show. And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to try to come to that. I just feel like as where I am right now, I'm kind of like, damn, should I have said all this shit? Like, I had no manager.

I had no nothing when I was telling all these stories before. and what does your manager think he thinks it's hilarious well he's a white man so yeah that's all i was like damn i'm do i need to know because you're you're doing like a i'm black and i'd laugh at you all the time uh i act act oh you do that and t you all the time fool foolish laugh but you're like you're like the young you're like baby tiffany haddish her story is crazy too and she i mean it took her a long time to get to where she is now but her story is insane she was like homeless for a while living out of her car her mom was abusive the dad tried to kill them yes but that's like a sad story that she turned to humor i don't necessarily have a sad story

was kind of like how did you get to point a to point b doing meth that you think was cocaine is pretty sad to me really doing ketamine that you thought was a cat tranquilizer is pretty sad to me really city it's not not sad it's not happy these are not happy i mean i'm like these are people living their life man you got this is you living your life you got one nose to live let me let me ask you this question before we wrap this up when you were doing all these drugs and going to westchester how many other black people were in the room there were absolutely no absolutely and i knew that that was a rhetorical question sis i knew it was just you yeah but you know what i just want to tell my white friends that this has nothing to do with

you this was all me because i had so many different groups of friends remember that no i don't believe that you had black group a black group of friends i did not have a group of black friends but i'm telling you that this is different groups of white the people that i was doing meth with were not the friends that i was at rose bar not the people that riff raffs not the people that you know now these are other people i met your old roommate and i was like it makes sense shout out to Nene his name is Nene Nene

Sidney we were at a party last summer and Sidney was like does anybody have an extra tooth for this man he needs an extra tooth I was like oh my god

because he's missing a tooth but he's actually a very sweetheart and I love him dearly and I'm so glad that we went through the things that we did but yeah you know

I was not it was different groups of friends because I had a friend come up to me and they're like Sidney the way you portray some of your friends

it's like which friends you talk i feel like you need to point out the friends i thought it was your rosebud riff reference i thought it was rose rose bar no and remember i told you there was a whole time when i just went out by myself yeah i didn't even go with them because i knew that they're like bitch we're not down for this you crazy honestly thinking about it now those friends are all too pretty to do meth absolutely not they would never even if i said it they even like molly and stuff they don't do that really but i feel like they do cocaine they do that nose candy because that's like you know that's like a penthouse party drug oh yeah but you know they're all having babies

going thailand they doing stuff now they're trapped they're getting stamps in a passport it was a phase you know and it was an eight-year phase yes everybody everybody has moved past that yeah and now i'm trying to pick up the pieces and i'm like all i got is this fucking story what am i doing now it's a show it's a tv show it's a movie maybe maybe it's not a tv show maybe it's a movie yeah you gotta write it you gotta you gotta write yeah but i just feel like there's enough stories of black people and women doing drugs being in a whole like you gotta have uplifting stories well at the end you you turn it into like a tyler perry at the end shamar moore has a lace front braid wig on bitch and he takes you to church or something

i don't know vanessa williams bakes a pie i don't know sis you come on you gotta think about this i gotta think about it because it is my life and i'm like man the way i didn't at the end of the movie loretta divine is there and she she says i hope she's not watching me cross the street and she looks and you're watching no i want i want regina i want regina king or hall or one of them regina's in my to play what you older me she too buff to play you sis have you seen her arms you got them uh them gumpy arms her arms are super buff i do have gumpy arms i was looking at some pictures i was like but you gotta go to the gym work them arms out oh my god let's talk about these pictures that we took at the last show that wig was a shiny ass terrible mess that's why

i can't go to la because i don't have muscles yet when i get my muscles together i'll go there I have muscles but they're like paper mache I haven't been to the gym since December You still look great I mean that wig you came with to the show That wig was so That wig was bad It was not a Black History Month wig at all

It was definitely a January wig That was definitely a January wig That wig was trash But you see I'm working on other wigs now My ethnic pieces now That's your audition wig My authentic Black girl hair

it looks cute i like it i mean you know that you know what wig that is i i worn that last year um but you know i'm just doing weeks until i do my hair before i go to california so that's what's happening so so the lesson that we learned is i should not get in a car to party for an hour and a half when i'm in la because i might do meth i feel like i'm a bad friend i feel like i need to work on being better friends why what do you mean because i feel like i how are you about you i feel you're the best friend that most people could ever want. Really? You're a good friend. You be remembering

things. You be rubbing people backs when they look tense. You ask questions and you seem like you care. You checking on others. You be like, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. You got gifts. You be buying flowers for people's birthday parties. People that I be like,

why are you buying? Really? We don't even really like her. And you be like, I gotta get flowers for her birthday show. And I'm like, wow. Wait, who did I get flowers from? I don't know, but when I met you, every time you were doing somebody's birthday show, you were stopping at some corner bodega store to get some flowers. That's when I had

money. The broke me has come all the way out. Like, I'm not as thoughtful. You see what kind of gloves I got your ass? Oh my god. That was the real me. That was a bad friend. That was the one time I was a bad friend, Marie. Right, but I just

said that you're the best friend that most people could ask for, but that, when you got me those Christmas gloves, that was you being a bad friend. a poor friend it was more so poor friend a poor friend is a bad friend i want a rich friend i think we should end on that note the fuck the fuck is d-a-f-u-k-k i thought it was a bit of q oh that's a d-a-f-u-q the hook this is fun honestly i'm gonna miss these long-ass, these long-ass recorded chats with you. Really?

Let's figure out a way to record a phone conversation. Let's see if we can plug into the board. Yeah, I think we can. I mean, the whole situation is that we don't have equipment, so that's why I want y'all to slide on over to Patreon and become a member because, you know, the money that you put towards Patreon,

we put towards the podcast. Honestly? And we just got our first little Patreon check, and I was like, wow. I was like, this came in just in time. I almost didn't send you your half because I was like, I mean, I set up the account. Wow, Marie. But I sent you, I told you what the total was

and I divided it in half and I sent it to you. You're very honest. I appreciate it. You said that like you're not that honest. I'm always honest. I always feel like I try to give more. More? Yeah. Wow. Well, Sydney, when's the next show in February?

On the 28th, it's the last day. We got Roy Wood Jr. He's going to do it. the daily show and amina she's like am i taking marie's spot i said no you're getting a spot wow people are like and i'm trying to find two more people to do that i saw last night oh you want black people you don't want okay all right it's a black history month show because it's the last day of of the year of the month and i should not be rude and book white people yeah white people even though i love them i like white people yeah i don't i'm not gonna say love that's a

strong word okay um okay uh so go on to patreon check that out sydney's show her one woman show is going to be march 18th uh that's a saturday or sunday that's a sunday sunday march 18th at the duplex hit her up for the tickets yes and then you gotta go on mariefaustin.com because the website is really cute and i want you guys to join my mailing list share it it's gonna be great and all my dates if you're based in la or you're close enough to la that you want to be weird and drive to a show you could do that but just know that if you're creepy you will be banned for life for life all right love you guys bye