MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Check On Your High Friends

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

This week Sydnee and Marie chat the New York city winter MESS, cosmetic surgery MESS, Threads MESS, and more.  Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description you're listening to mess you look very springtime do i yeah you know what i feel like i just want to get the ball rolling for that because i've had enough enough of wintertime i used to be in my let's hibernate bag i'm done oh i'm outside i don't want it anymore i'm ready to roam the streets without icicle doo-doo on the sidewalks and windchill factor to the point of the negatives where yes where negative 150 negative 15 negative three degrees are we in alaska she and the poop on the snow in new york some of it look like people poop it definitely is some of it is big dog big people poop hey the way if your dog is shitting like that your dog

needs a job your dog should be paying a bill your dog should be bringing something to the table and it should not be shit when you do some money when you do your taxes can you claim your dog as a dependent no what i heard there was like some things that when the poop is that big you should be able to claim the dog you think but also they should be cleaning it up they should i have a lot of beef with the big dog community here in new york it's not just big dogs it's all types of dogs in my neighborhood it's the big dogs that are leaving their shits behind it's not the dogs it's the people or the people the owners of the big dogs are leaving their shit because in my neighborhood they'll bag the poop and then toss the bag on the snow they do that that's so bags

of doodoo on ice it's it's on the rock it's so nasty and it's like who raised you doodoo bags on the rocks on the rock crazy that might be the title of the episode that might be it write that down por favor so yeah i'm i'm done i love a big coat i love outerwear you know that that is where i thrive but i think i'm ready to have a shacket a shacket or you know maybe a windbreaker are you that time. You know it doesn't get warm in New York until after April. I don't want to do it no more. I don't want to do it anymore. It's really actually bringing me down. It's bringing the vibes down. Yeah, you know, I've been thinking a lot about this recently. I kind of, this is the first winter that I'm like, I get why old people leave New York in the wintertime. Like move south

for the winter like a bird. I kind of get it. Is it just old people? Oh, is it not old people? i think they're called not snow it's like the opposite of snowbirds um i don't think it's just old people no it's it's people who have um disposable income multiple homes uh bi-coastal yeah the the people in a different tax bracket it's not just uh elders they're all called snowbirds that is like snowbirds are seasonal residents typically retirees from northern u.s and canada who migrate to Florida for the winter months. Was Snowbirds on the 12 days of Christmas? On the 12 days of Christmas,

my new love came to me. Well, Snowbirds, I've... You get it. Yeah. No, I don't think it's just old people, Marie. You think you got to be rich to do it? If I had way more money, yeah, I'd be like,

yo, I'm out from January until April. I think April is the time you could come back to New York and it'd be safe, safe to be like, it's going to be raining. I'd rather deal with rain than cold, snow and bad attitudes. I can't do it all three. Well, in the summertime, it's pee, poop, sweat and bad attitudes. No, people are actually, I think people are much nicer in the summer. No, people in New York are nice in the spring. when the summer gets here and it's hot people are nasty chat log in if you live in new york city um

please give us your you know opinions on this if you live in new york are people nicer in the in the winter no they're not nicer in the winter the best to me in my opinion the best season in new york city is the spring because we've survived the winter people are happy the sun is about to come out people got their knees out too early they put the coats away too soon yes but we're like happy we've survived this like cold dark time then the summer happens and it's like people are still happy but like it smells worse and it's hotter and we're like a little bit cranky yeah but booty cheeks are out people are working out they're eating fun there are more parties people are frolicking people are having more sex so even though it smells bad and it's so hot it's like

but the visuals oh my eyes they're they're in heaven are people having more sex in the summertime yes if you don't have enough btus you should not be hosting at your home if the btus are low you gotta go oh hey if you don't have electricity in your home you should not be hosting because that that has also happened to some people i don't even know who but yeah they have experienced that So, yeah, I definitely think I would just want to fast forward to when it's like 75 degrees. I think that's when I'm that's when I'm at my peak personality. Seventy five degrees. Seventy five degrees.

Seventy five degrees. OK, cool. Because I can appreciate not only just the weather, but I'm more open to, you know, holding the door, holding a conversation, holding space. how can i how can i have space for you if if i need a a heat heat space a space heater yeah you was right there i was so i was with you i'm just like you said you said how can i hold space and i in my mind said something about a space heater yeah you knew you knew i was taking you oh you threw it take me through there take me through there now where is the groundhog live because i want to go kick him well i thought i think this is a new groundhog oh yeah i think

gen z groundhog i think this is i think they clone tyrone i think because they all look i don't think that groundhog's name is tyrone but i believe that like a couple years ago phil died but now that i think there's a new groundhog and they called him phil as well well they said it's a good name how long do groundhogs live what's the typical lifespan Yes, let's find out. Of an evil groundhog. Animal lovers, tap in. Do you have the information for us?

Two to three years in the wild can survive to six years in natural habitat. Yeah, they don't live long. Two to three years in the wild. We have skipped it through so many fields now. This is not the same field. But this field, this actual iteration of field. When kept in captivity with proper care and no predators, the lifespan can extend significantly to 10 to 14 years.

Yeah, but 14 years, it's coming out the whole slow. It's seeing his lashes. It thinks that's his shadow. It's like, I'm going back in the house. I think this Phil is definitely an introvert. And I think he's just saying anything so that he could go back in. He's literally saying nothing. If they pop up and they be like.

But I'm saying there's somebody who translate, you know, Phil and translates for Phil. And I think he's, like, telling, like, yo, yo, yo, yeah, yeah, it's more winter. And then it goes back in. No, Sydney, do you not know what Groundhog's Day is? I do. If the groundhog sees its shadow, it goes back in. If it doesn't see its shadow, it's outside. It doesn't say anything.

I know it does. You thought that I really thought that the groundhog talks. I'm talking to Sydney Washington. I don't know what you thought, Ms. Mamas. If you thought that I thought that the groundhog talks, I would hope that you wouldn't be on a podcast with me. said there's a translator for the groundhog what are they translating miss miss miss ma'am what i was doing was an analogy that obviously it didn't work you know sydney isms it's not about making sense it's about the vibe you're supposed to just get it and clearly you didn't i didn't

we need a sydney translator too whoever you think is working with the groundhog hopefully if they're available they can pop in and come talk to us but i think i really do believe that this because now he's he's done it i think like two years in a row that is like or three years in a row that's like oh we're gonna have six more weeks of winter that feels right though it does so that's why i'm like this doesn't even make sense i think we should just scratch the whole groundhog situation yeah it's like pardoning the turkey his family is dead you pardoning this turkey he's gonna die next year like bring your mind your mind can we talk yeah i just gotta say check on your high friends check on your high friends check on your high friends i might like

that for the title you have we gotta check on our high friends okay okay because i took an edible and i went to a yoga class i was like it's gonna hit me after the class i'll float home right that's how I take them I'm like ah I'm gonna do a couple proud warriors sun salutations and I'm gonna go home I'm gonna float back to the crib instead at the end of my class I was like I'm gonna go to the grocery store I gotta get some lemons I get to the grocery store edible hits me at the supermarket okay I'm there with no list I'm there I got a bag so I'm like well whatever fits in this bag I guess I'm gonna take girl when I tell you I was trapped in the egg aisle for 25 minutes

reading all the first of all eggs is like $17 now so already I don't want to pay that again wait no I thought it went down I don't know it went down it must have gone down from $20 to $17 I don't know so I'm looking and each box

each carton says something else cage free, free range vegetarian fed da da da da da and I'm like oh my god the better the life of the mother the more expensive the eggs but also the better the eggs probably are but you didn't okay friends so you just now realizing that no no no no no okay i'm just saying that's just how they you eggs used to be like $4.99 $5.99 like i'd go in i get a carton and like i would

just pick the sexy brown ones because they didn't care about they didn't care about chickens back then now there's more people who are self-aware you know the dodo is always pushing those viral videos we we keep seeing cows you know with flowers on their head and like licking dogs now so it's like oh my god maybe we shouldn't be having burgers for fourth of july but but back then it was like kill them all they still don't they still don't care about the chickens they do care they don't care because now because they they know why the cage birds sing so they're not they're these are cage free these are free wild yeah but living their life they there was a Somebody did a study and cage free doesn't mean they have a yard.

Oh, it just means they're not in a cage. The chickens are still in the they walking around like this. They're like shoulder to shoulder. They can stand, but they can't like move around. So basically they're living like New Yorkers. Cage free is different than free range. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Right.

Yes. And free range is different than prairie, prairie raised. Right. So I'm reading all the things and I'm I'm so high that I'm feeling bad for the cartons of eggs that don't say nothing on them because some of them don't say it just says eggs. And you're like, I'm like, this chicken didn't have a yard. Marie, you have to stop taking edibles. No. Or at least that version.

No. Yes. Literally the best. I ordered more. I love these edibles. They're very demure. Five milligrams. It's cute.

Five milligrams got you being an empath? For the chickens, yes. Shit. You can't even have empath for a damn human. Whoa. You didn't zoom all the way to chickens? You know why the chicken crossed the road? I don't.

Well, he was trying to get to the yard. He was trying to get to his yard. He wasn't trying to run. He was escaping. Girl. He didn't cross the road. He was running. It was bad.

it was really really bad and then I finally found some eggs that I that I was like alright I'm gonna get these and then I opened them and they were white and I said

this close to Black History Month I've gotta get the brown eggs so now I'm there for even longer amount of time anyway the people who worked there were I think they thought

I was trying to steal eggs or that I was doing really really bad um they were like ew her son must be at home crying all alone on the bedroom floor

cause he's hungry cause he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money yeah Yeah. Marie, I sometimes you take me on these edible journeys and I'm like, oh, I want to get I want to get in on this.

Like I would. Should I relapse for an edible? No. And then you tell a story like this. And I said, actually, this is why I'm sober. That's why I don't touch it. And I just want to let you know, cocaine has never had me in the store like that. Caring about some fucking eggs. Yeah. But edibles have never made me afraid to take a drug test. i was never afraid i just want you to know that because i wasn't taking no tests i'm high as a kite well why would i take a test when i know i did it right yeah right and everywhere i'm going everyone else is also on it yeah so why would be taking drug tests the test is we took it there you have it we took the drugs if you work with

cool people you ain't never got to take a drug test it's true free range this is crazy but speaking of freedom freedom I I'm working on you know

elevating as a person and I'm gonna do Invisalign well we're on the cusp of it what's on the cusp of Invisalign well I went in and they took the You know, the photos.

X-Ray. Yeah, they, you know, put me through the Xerox machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have never, like, I know how my teeth feel in my mouth. But seeing it, I said, I don't know if I would date that person. Oh. Yeah. What's your, hmm.

It came back and my teeth are flared. Like jeans. Flared. Yeah. Just call me Levi's. Like this. Or like this. Just like that.

Like this. I'm at the front, the front teeth come out. And I always knew I had like an overbite kind of buck ish, you know? And so that's why I think I have issues pronouncing things. I think that's why I trip over words. Cause it's really,

I'm tripping over like the teeth part in the front. Cindy, are you sure you're not on edibles right now? you don't need them because the stuff that you say sound like things a stoner would say i think i have dyslexia because my teeth are flared yes yes that's exactly see you you are my translator oh my god girl we are soulmates did you see that i didn't even have to say much and you already knew what the fuck i meant girl i was making fun of you oh well you're a bad soul but also really good because you get me but you also make fun of me okay so your flared teeth

is why you be mispronouncing stuff yes and so he shows me you know when you get a visalign they show you the process of how your teeth will you know be fixed over time and I sent it to you and you were like well girl it don't look too it looked like before and before it looked like it before yeah and that that hurt you saying that girl you can't i you must have sent me the wrong image no i showed you the before it looked like the look like the after bitch now stop it now sydney now no no it looks so the same that i was like you gotta get real racist you have to get the wires this and that's why i know you don't want the best for me because why would you want me to have the best for you would be for you to struggle for okay so this is this you guys can't

see they obviously won't zoom in but this is we superimpose it this is this is my teeth right now yeah right and you you see this and you're like this don't look like sydney yeah if you saw this in a lineup would you be like this is sydney washington's teeth no i wouldn't say that exactly so i'd be like oh my god the geico caveman but your teeth don't look like that why are you looking at me like that Marie sometimes when you say things Sydney but your teeth don't look like that to me but to the naked Haitian eye but the way you described it I know you were like these are if if I didn't know you I would say that joke but you know me so why would you say that why would you say that Sydney even knowing you and knowing that those are your x-rays I'm

saying from the front, from the side, from the bottom, from the top, your mouth does not give that. That's all. You're not going to show us the after? The before after? Okay, so this is the after. Yeah, he zoomed in, but...

Can you see? Oh, and the same thing with the Invisalign. They said it's maxed out, babe. This is all we could do because it's that flared. But he's going to he took more pictures and he's going to send in and see if they can um maybe add some more trays but I think it's really like my the whole mouth I think the bones

of my jaw it's just it's I think it's a little tilted so I think I probably do need braces all together I think that's the only thing that's gonna actually and I'm not gonna put it all back into place I'm already this age and I've gone this far with it looking like this I guess that's just what it is this is this is my final draft no that's not true this is not your final draft because we are always evolving we're always working but like see like let me i've never done this i've never ever done but i hate when somebody is underneath me that's why i hate being on top because you hate when somebody's underneath you yeah i hate being on top because then you could see this hold on can you see sydney i don't believe that you know you only be on top

See, when you see her. So you'd be on top and they'd be like, we love the way I ride it. Can you, did you see like the face? Like barely, sis. I don't think anybody's looking

at your teeth when you're on top. I just want you to know that. No one is looking at their teeth when you're on top. Now that is the type of compliment I want from you, bitch. Now that, now that is how you

give a friend a compliment. Now that's what I call a compliment. Now that's what I call mess. And so, yeah I it's gonna he said four months

four months so I'm thinking it I'll probably have to do it for like seven in order for it to be like really you want to borrow my retainer sis

it's a bar across your teeth Marie your teeth are perfect I wear the retainer every night and your parents loved you

so you had braces my parents did not love me enough for the braces I had to beg for the braces beg beg beg

beg beg beg bag had to put post-its all over my house remember to call dr whatever his name is dr green dr green dr green because i had insurance i had we had great insurance and my mom was like only special people have gaps and me and my sister were like we don't want the gap my mother has a gap and then us they're beautiful that's a beautiful gap yeah i didn't want it she looks like a model i said we got you got blue cross blue shield they're gonna pay for everything just take us to the doctor and your sister had braces and me and my sister we had them at the same time yeah I think it's a certain level of care when parents do things like like braces and um make sure you have vaccinations

and uh make sure you're not wearing shoes that are too small like they're thinking about your future well it's that it's also a can you afford to pay for the braces but if you have insurance, you're not thinking about that. You know? Yeah. Like, my family was very frugal, so they would, I would have a lot of hand-me-downs, and so I would

get shoes that were too small for me, because it was like, you know, my cousin's shoes. And why were the hand-me-downs too small? They're supposed to be big. Exactly. So what was, you and your cousin were the same age? Nope. She was younger than you? She was older than me, but had

I guess smaller feet. and so if you see my feet today it's because I was as a child they had me in two smaller shoes and that's why I know I wasn't loved as much come on full binding they wanted to have tiny toes girl they wanted they wanted me to have tiny toes but they wanted my feet to look like they were on top of each other sure yes that's a different type of love sis listen how tiny and dainty her feet are The fourth toe is on top, is underneath the third one. So it looks like, it kind of looks like they're scissoring, which is foreshadowing to who I am now today. The tiny shoes made you gay.

Again, my friend knows how to translate me. Yeah. The things that I can't say, Marie says. If your baby's feet look like this, gay. Gay. Yeah, yeah. yeah so i i think i'm gonna just still do it i feel like it'll make a difference regardless i like i won't have this rate it like it won't fix my overbite completely but

it's worth a try you know I might as well do it while I have the money now I will not have this money in six months you'll have more money in six months because we're robbing a bank allegedly set it off with just two gals yeah we're gonna use I was gonna say we're gonna use chat gpt we're not free what have you come to the conclusion I am no longer using chat gpt say it into the camera right now which one's my camera this one all of them say it to all of them I am no longer using chat GPT say it louder I'm not using chat GPT no more because yes

it's bad for the planet but also when you google stuff now they give you the AI results it's in there so I'm not I'm not adding to you know the gallons of water that are being I don't even know how it what it what it's doing

I guess I got to use AI to figure out how it's ruining the planet but I'm just not using it because I you know I have friends who know stuff. And when I ask them a question, they answer and or lie. We need you to stop, Marie. We've made so many.

I've asked ChatGBD questions. I think you got all the bits, friend. Sure. But I did hear a bit last night that really made me laugh. Okay, let's hear it. Well, because ChatGBD just like agrees with you anytime you say something. And you didn't know that. What do you mean?

You didn't know that, Marie? No, I did know that. I literally, I got a message. I think I talked about this on the pod. I got a message and I responded how it felt like I should respond in my heart. And ChatGPT was like, you should not say that. And I was like, I already sent the email. And they were like, LOL, that's fine.

ChatGPT agreed with me immediately. It's like your drunk bestie. And I'm not drunk. And I agree with you and also tell you no. So you might as well just hit me up. When's the last time you told me no? Marie, I'm always telling you no. Or I'll be like, Marie, do you think that would...

Now, how would you respond if you did something like that? Treat people how you want to be treated. I've said that to you. You've literally never said that to me before. I've never said that to you, Marie. Treat people how I want to be treated? Yes. You've never said that to me at all, Sydney.

I definitely have. Girl, I've not said that to you if you've ever said that to me. No, okay. Let's see. Okay, I will say this about Marie. Marie has, you know, she shows love in Marie ways. And, you know, you don't, you're not always like making it rain on people, you know, in terms of gifts. So for my birthday, she sent me flowers and she wrote, love Marie.

And honestly, I was like, this is the best gift I've ever received from you. That's crazy. I couldn't believe it. I was like, wow. can I just say that I actually got you a gift for your birthday it still has not been delivered

so but do you know I honestly when you wrote Love Marie I was like like I felt like

Samantha in Sex and the City when Richard's card said Love Richard I said like you've never written

Love Marie so what I'm hearing is ever I should cancel no no no this gift no no no because if the love on the piece of paper is enough then I should I posted it in the dump

like I wanted people to know I was like she did it y'all she did it I can't believe you we didn't shame me in that way we did it we cracked the code we cracked the Marie code the code has not been cracked babe it has no the word is going back in the vault no you're gonna hear it it's like Haley's comic you're not gonna hear that word from me Another 14 years. Wait, Marie, I was like, maybe she got her assistant to write that book. And that's why it wrote love. It didn't put L-U-V.

Because you don't even put L-U-V. I am a L-U-V girl. No, you don't. You don't even do that, Marie. I am a L-U-R-V-E girl. Lurve. Lurve. Girl, I love you.

Lurve. Lurve you. Why don't you love me? Yeah, that's who I am. I don't know why you're so shocked about it. But you know what I was shocked about? So you're saying that you're not going to do no more enhancements on yourself. But there's stuff about me that I want to change.

Oh. You know? I really want to hear this. I really, I don't want to take my glasses off. These lines that are under my eyeballs upset me regularly. so i've been looking into it and i've found i can get a lower bliff i don't know what the i don't know what the bliff stands for but it's like they like some people have like bags under their eyes and they like like that's fat they remove the fat and some people when they have the lines because

they're it's too like hollow they go in there and they like rearrange the fat or they transfer fat from other parts of your body and they like fill this space oh i want to do that okay it's called a fat transfer okay so a friend of mine was like i have the perfect doctor for you don't message anybody i'm gonna get the info to you okay i said what's the info he sends it to me i call them they're like we need you to send us some photos of your face first she goes it's a 700 consultation fee i'm out 700 for her to look at me just to look not even she said yeah but if you decide to go through with the surgery that'll be applied to the to the final balance i said okay okay she You said, but just this once, send us some photos, she'll review them, and then we'll

let you know if we can proceed. This, I need to see the photos. What photos did you send? Well, you have to send one picture of yourself not smiling, and then one smiling, and then two three-quarter shots. You got them? I got them, but I'm not showing them to you. Because I took all these photos, and I was like, oh my God, am I ugly?

I fully was in my house taking these pictures, and I was like, every single photo felt worse than the photo before it. I'll show you the pictures of them actually taking a picture of my teeth. And I said, oh, this is not visually pleasing at all. Sure. Yeah. It's bad. When you really look at yourself.

When you really, really look at yourself. When you really open your eyes and look at you. Look, look, look what that hot body can do. When you look at yourself for real, we're all a little bit ugly on the outside. Just a little bit. On the outside. and that's it and that's why it's like why are we so hard on others have you looked yourself in the mirror have you ever seen you have you seen it it's like if you really just take a look

at yourself you will be so quiet and not talk about other people because you'll be so wrapped up in how you look i think that message we should clip that and send it to all the men in your life. Wait, hold on. Men in my life? Oh, they're... Okay, good thing. Even my God

is not a man. Yeah, yeah. You believe God is a woman. Every time I go, I have my friends, I'm like, hey, girl.

What you doing up there? You sleeping? Wake up. I got some things to tell you. My God is a woman as well because she don't be listening to me.

Your God is Haitian. my god does it on on her own time uh-huh okay so wait wait wait um shit what was i just about to say i was talking about being a woman i was talking about being ugly i said the men in your life did you see the um indian matchmaker have you seen her on um tiktok no yeah people will like obviously want to be matched and they'll say uh this is me here's my photo and this is what i want right and so guys was like um i think this guy no this woman was like so i want a man who is uh athletically built um and you know she wanted all these attributes and so the the woman the matchmaker sends her a guy and she's like well he doesn't look athletic and they're like

well athletic built and like someone who's athletic is two different things she's like on his thing he works out he works out you know four times a week and he you know he's a little stocky but she's like he still looks good this is what the matchmaker is saying to herself and so she wrote back and she said well um you say you go to the gym but you don't look athletically built and she said are you calling me fat she said I didn't say that I said you don't look athletic so i think you should give this man a chance yeah and it's like you sometimes you see yourself one way and then you got to ask an outsider how they see you and then maybe somebody else will see you as that way as well but also also and this is something that i had learned

you know in the recent years is when you take a photo of yourself it's mirrored it's flipped yes you're seeing and and if you look in the mirror you only ever see yourself reflected but if you flip it yes like that's what you actually look like i look better flipped you know that there's a on the the phone on your photos you could flip it you never seen that flip it and when you flip it it looks different alex english showed me that oh he said oh you don't like this picture hold on hold on one one second and he flipped it i'm like oh my god it does look better oh my god yes but i think that just means that we're like not symmetrical we aren't right i knew that if my coochie's not symmetrical there's no way my face is well coochies are like snowflakes no two

lips are the same they're not symmetrical would you get a labiaplasty no anyway so i sent this lady my photos yeah sorry they really went off on a tangent i sent this lady my photos the surgeon mind you it's like non-invasive like they they go like under your eye they move the fat up they go under your eye you said it's not invasive it's not like you're not it's not they're not cutting your face it's output or outpatient surgery they could do it at the house how do they do that i feel like they go like this this they pull your eye and then they go and then they put it back that's in it's going that's invasive they're not cutting my face okay they're not cutting that's what oh that's all i'm saying okay they not slicing and dicing out

you know i got keloid skin i don't want to be going underneath they're going underneath they go on i mean i'm not i didn't go to i'm not the pit school or nothing like that but they like scoop and then they readjust the fat so that it fills this space up so you're the lines under my eyes will be gone okay she says she's first of all she's like the surgeon's only in in the office tuesdays and thursdays i'm like oh she'd be working less than half a week so you know what that means i don't know what that means you know what i mean they're doing only two surgeries a week no they're only doing two days two days a week because it costs a lot of money excuse me well i didn't know that okay she emails me back thirty thousand dollars she spelled out the word

thirty thousand dollars i said this must be a typo maybe she meant to write three maybe she meant to write thirteen thirty thousand dollars so i responded to her today hey i just want to make sure i've seen this correctly thirty thousand dollars question mark i said that covers the the lower bleph and the fat transfer she said that's the surgeon's fee um it it doesn't cover facilities or faculties or whatever the hell the word is that you like let me get to itemize let me see the itemize what is it what it just covers the it doesn't cover anesthesia it doesn't cover the whole thing so it's not even thirty thousand dollars it's not even thirty thousand dollars hell no well bitch i'm just gonna look tired forever because that is thirty thousand dollars

i'm gonna just be somebody who wears glasses indoors no that what do you mean but like other i googled other ones in the city and it's like nine thousand i called other places seven thousand but it's good though you got to go on um what is it it's realself.com and that shows you uh people's surgeries from specific doctors and you could tell you know their post-op like how many days in like the average cost of this surgery is like between it's literally it's between like three and nine so if i'm looking at somebody that's charging 15 or i'm looking at somebody that's charging 10 in my mind i'm like oh that must mean they're they're good i'm reading the reviews and everything but 30k that's that's lindsey lohan's new face i was like that's

chris jenner's person they look good though they look good but they're also millionaires billionaires they should be spending that much money me little old me your friend must be a millionaire if they sent you to somebody and are he ain't got a discount or something he ain't got code like what's up like you can't yeah he know who you are like you're doing well but obviously it's like can I put in blah blah blah dash whatever and then get 30% off 30% off for $30,000 30% of $30,000 is not enough I need 60% off 60% off because what girl so yeah I just I googled the best surgeon in the city and four popped up and this person was

one of the four. So I called the other three just to see what they say. One told me $9,000. We could do that. We could do that tomorrow. We could do that tomorrow. Let's go. One told me $9,000. Somebody else told me $6,000.

And then, yeah. $30,000. When I found out the consultation fee was $700, I was like, okay, this is going to be a couple thousand dollars. not thirty thousand dollars it's too much anyway when if and when you see me looking more refreshed just know i spent a little bit but no i'm not spending that i wanted the thing is is that like what happened to me and i think i've told this story before what happened but when i relapsed right so um this was almost nine or ten years ago drinking drugging working all of that and so i

went to a surgeon allegedly he was in a med spa but he was doing all the girls that you know the the dancers and the girls that are at the nightclub so I go and get the filler get the filler and also I'm wearing faux locks that Amina got me as like she this is the first time she's ever done faux locks ever so like I was the guinea pig for it so not only was I wearing hair that it was on his like first draft I felt like he was doing that for the filler as well because it looked bad like you could see the injections you can see the filler so he's like don't worry it'll take like a week or two to settle a week or two come by and I'm like yo I still look like I just got off the fucking table it looks bad and so he went to dissolve it and

after it was dissolved one side was way less than the other and so that was many many moons ago and I'm just I've been scared ever since I don't want to do it well see filler is different the thing that I'm talking about is a fat transfer they take fat from my body I don't know where yeah where babe I don't know where they're gonna get it maybe my thighs but they take fat from my body or there we have pockets of fat underneath our eyes they just like they just reposition it but i think they take it from your thighs i got that you can take it from my labia i got that too may i please have a cup of fat that's what i mean but i don't want the labia that's what i need to get up off me man when i gain a little weight it's going crazy places shut up it's like hey

Come into my house. No, sorry. I'll be forgetting there's people back there who are not women. So should we start a GoFundMe? Like, what do you like? No, I'm not going to start a GoFundMe. I'm not going to start. I'm just going to I'm going to make more money posting content.

OK. And I'll just use a paycheck from that to pay for this. Smart. But filler is something that I want to stay away from because it's like a foreign substance that they're injecting. As opposed to putting, you know, fat from me into meat. Yeah. That's all. But your fat, you probably have a lot of good fat.

I have a lot of trash fat that I wouldn't want to move. Taco Bell. Yeah, I would not want to move this type of fat that I got going on. I wouldn't want to put it in my face. I think this is specifically fat that only should be the lower half of my body. Girl, let me get a little bit of your butt. Oh, girl. You're going to throw it away.

I need that for myself. A tablespoon of that ass. My girlfriend said, don't lose that. no no no you must keep that girl okay so we'll get we'll figure it out we'll figure it out okay so um threads threads i'm looking more on threads now and so that's where the mess is more people need to get on threads because you know people are people are writing out whole scenarios and situations kind of like twitter but it just feels less toxic maybe i think but i was i i was following this girl and she went to the you know super bowl or whatever and then so she's leaving

the super bowl she goes to the airport lax and um i think she's just like you know pulling stuff out of her bag doing like what's in my bag she overhears a guy on the phone with someone and they're like yeah i don't know why um she went through my phone and the guy is talking to i guess whoever they're cheating on their wife with. And so the girl was like, I guess I've got to keep rolling the tapes because I want to hear more of what he's saying. And so the guy's trying to explain

to this person he's cheating with, like, you know, this is the situation. Like, he's saying it out loud. He's loud about it. Now, is it like this on the phone or has he got the AirPods in? I don't know because you can't see the man. you can't see the man so she's listening and she's pulling out and you know our bags we got

so much shit in it she's got one of those crocodile birkins so it's a big it's a big body and so she's pulling anything and everything out so we could still hear the conversation and that's true boots on the ground journalism yes it is if you're gonna be nosy make it make it work listen ryan williams take notes yeah okay i want to know the whole story the whole truth and nothing but the truth and so he's like I'm so embarrassed you hear him saying he's so are you so embarrassed you don't sound like an embarrassed person embarrassed person are whispering yeah whispering they're in a cave they're invisible ink yeah the embarrassed people are like yo meet me as such and such because I can't even say this out loud I don't want anybody to know you know you have you

seen the it's like a it's the picture it's Peter Griffin in the dark and he's like sniffing out of the shadows like yes that's how embarrassed people move yes yeah so then uh the guy is saying something and he now they are having a laugh about it they're laughing oh yeah no she's so upset she's so upset she's so mad at me for cheating on her yeah so now the girl who's recording is like okay this is why i'm going to absolutely post this because now you think your wife is a fucking joke yeah and and this girl used to be married she's divorced now and those are going to be the vigilant the vigilantes they're like oh i've been cheated on oh bitch let me let me get in the field and so she actually describes this man to the t and what time she was

in the airport in what airport yeah if you know a man that looks like that's probably your husband and he was on the phone with the mistress or the mister because it was giving mister. And I said, well,

was he going to Atlanta? No. Yeah, was he going to Atlanta? Probably to Chicago because that's where she's from. So, fucked up.

Would you do something like that? Are you here for that? Absolutely. I'm nosy as hell. If I'm shooting a video and something funny is happening over my shoulder or around me,

yeah, I'm going to stay for a little bit of time. You know, my phone stay charged when I leave the house. You do have a coach. I've always got the juice.

Plus, I carried a little brick with me to charge it when I'm on the road again. But, yeah, to be that loud at the airport where people can hear you being messy, this is why we got to get in the lounge. We got to get in the lounge. Excuse me? I said all of that and you were like,

well, if he was in the lounge, that's not lounge behavior. Yeah, well, I'm saying if you want to talk about cheating on your wife in the lounge, they got pods you could get in one of these little eggs get into the business center if you're cheating and you want to talk about it

you gotta get your ass in the business you need to be by the fax machine if you really want to talk about it if you're cheating you need to be where they're eating right I don't know I'm just like at one point I'm like I'm kind of against people filming strangers

without their consent I think that's like really tacky at this point like taking video and then posting it for it to be funny. And the joke is not with them. It's on them. I don't like that. But why are you saying hmm?

Because Courtney B has a series that she's been posting on TikTok. We love you, Courtney. Courtney B is so funny. On IG and I think on TikTok. And it's her going out to clubs and bars and stuff like that. And anytime she sees a man wearing something weird

or if their hair is pushed back weird or they're wearing a backpack outside, she'll make fun of them. Great. Including in the video. Great. So I'm just saying hmm to you saying that because I'm like,

I feel like I've seen you, your name under one of the likes of some of these videos. So that's different. But you can't say you anti putting people on social media and then be like you are into, you are into that.

What's, how's it? Hold on, hold on. Okay. Let me show you a difference. There was this guy at a concert. i forgot what concert it was and he was like a bigger guy he was he was large and so um he's dancing and having the best time of his life at this concert and someone filmed it and then like made it a meme and then like everybody's like roasting this guy for having just innocent fun

dancing at the concert and everybody's making all these jokes and it's going viral or whatever and then it finally reaches the guy they're like making fun of and he gets online he's he's like crying he's like hey honestly I hadn't been out in months and this is my first time like enjoying myself and this is what I what I get for trying to have a good time I don't like that I don't like that these men that are wearing the shredded jeans and the rhinestone blazers and the crazy like Steve Harvey hats or whatnot they're going out confidently like oh yeah I'm getting auto hoes tonight they actually need to be in these videos to remind them don't do this no more what if if i may yeah the guy with the shredded rhinestone jeans it's the first time he's been

out all year he finally built up the confidence he got on his aliexpress denims and he is i'm gonna shake my head until it shakes the fuck off because that guy with the with the shredded yeah with the shredded chicken jeans yes he goes out every night no he's not inside gotta be one guy with a bad outfit who's like this is this is my first night off in months and my friends had to drag me out of the house so i put on my good ed hardy's and now they dragging me on this viral video online no you don't feel bad for him no because then she some of these guys have dm her like yo this is so funny some but not all thanks thanks for putting me out there you know i'm saying boosting me blah blah blah like they're so delusional that they're like yeah no this is you you're actually

like i'm fly like you're you're actually propping me up yeah you're giving me a platform that's how crazy these dudes are you know so it's different it's totally different it's different from like someone having wholesome good fun and uh you recording that and then making fun of that she's just showing these guys she's displaying them like on some you know what is it uh project runway stunt mm-hmm mm-hmm it's fat she's just letting you know she's actually the the black joan rivers of um of dragging men the black joan rivers of dragging men i'm not even gonna put it that far she just makes fun of their outfits and or one thing that they got on and she keeps it moving she's not even actually really dragging this is true yeah this is true but it is very

nice if we're on threat so did we find the guy has she figured out i haven't looked yet but we can i mean we could do this live right now well it wouldn't be live but we could do it right now um no they she said oh a girl comments gray sweatsuit this voice sounds so familiar she writes back i think gray pants for sure but he had a white shirt on and a jacket hanging over his chair so that could have been the sweatshirt he was also on his laptop and talking at the same time yo she's i think she's gonna find him she's gonna find this guy she's definitely you can't even cheat in peace in 2026 can you imagine i hate that for you guys cheating is supposed to be in private yeah you silencio you're not supposed to be chatting i'm not here for i'm not here for

cheating but if you must what else did you see on threads um so i thought this was nice and messy someone asked what's something morally wrong but not illegal that you've done one time i was down bad and used an old co-worker's number for her kroger fuel rewards right now it's just comments of people who um who uh have done stuff here's one this might be illegal but a long time ago i worked at a deli that was crazy busy during lunch rush and for every customer who signed the receipt and left the tip part blank i added a dollar that's it no more no less i add we split the tips at the job so it was not for myself but the whole team Somebody else said, I also have no remorse about taking photos of pages in cookbooks at Barnes & Noble because ain't no cookbook worth $99.

And I don't know if that recipe is going to work. I'll try one first. Thanks. That's funny. That's funny. But the adding the tip, shame on you. Shame on you. I don't care if it is just a dollar.

It's stealing. And you're going to jail. Okay. somebody else said, I watched a drug dealer drop a hundred dollar bill at the gas station I was working at. And I picked it up when he left. He came back in looking for it. I said, you know, it's nothing but crackheads in and out of here. That hundred dollars is gone. I got dinner with that money. I like that. That's funny. I just love this thread because it's just, it's, it's just funny. Before leaving my position, I paid for all of my annual subscriptions using the company card,

Grammarly, Prime, Microsoft Word, et cetera. Listen, it's not about what you can do for the business. It's what the business can do for you. I mean, listen, let me tell you something. People are literally confessing to crimes here. Which is fucking dumb, but we love that. Honestly, I need it. But I'm also like, you got to be smarter than this.

But then I feel like when you post stuff like that and we're all on the thread, like, aren't we, what's the word? Accessories? yes aren't we accessories reading it yeah how being in a thread because i'm like shouldn't we report this person that's the most karen thing you've ever said report them for why girl they're stealing wow they're stealing you think you know somebody every day we see here and i learned should we report them why would we do that i'm getting older now marie and some of the the shenanigans

we used to shenan years ago you're not you're not shenanigans anymore it's not cutting it anymore should we report something that we saw on threads i'm double tapping every crime and you're like we should tell somebody they're telling everybody it's viral i'm not telling nobody nothing somebody said i still use my high school id card to get discounts and i just turned 33 okay that's a win because you still look like you're in high school or if the cards still works get the perks might as well i'm happy for her i mean it was a man oh yeah i'm calling the cop wait do we have any messages we do not have any messages today what i know well i mean unless

We haven't read all the other ones, but we didn't get any new ones. How do we not have any more messages? I mean, let's see. Because did y'all do any the last time? We did. Let's see. But also, I'm like, girl, you want to read something? You want to?

Becca, they, you know, they be yelling in the thing. They like, Becca needs a mic. Becca needs a mic. Well, I have a mic today. Do you want me to read it? Yeah, yeah. Maybe you better read it to me. All right.

Y'all got one message today. Okay. Hello. Yeah, Doug. I think we did use all the voice messages last time. We don't have any new ones. No, we did. We did.

I want some more. I want some more voice messages. I want to hear your voice. I want to hear your sexy, messy voice. I don't think we read this one. Yeah, I pulled this one last week, but the episodes were both so long last week. I don't think we got to any messages.

I don't like how you said it, Becca. It was so long. No, it was so long in a good way. It was good. You guys didn't have time. You were gabbing so much. You didn't have time for a message. Gab, gab, gab, gab.

So this week's message, beige on beige adjacent couple mess hi sydney marie i'm writing in with my mess because i am just needing an unbiased opinion about my mess in my heterosexual beige relationship i'm 29 year old latina woman and my partner is 29 year old man white man his passion is art and he was a tattoo apprentice for three years and a tattoo artist for six months while also juggling his day job at a car shop the goal was to build up the tattoo business enough to leave his day job There were changes at the shop and impacts to his mental health that caused him to decide to take a break from tattooing just last June, 2025. During that break, his intentions were to get back in shape, take care of himself since he was working nine hours plus a day at his day job, and staying at the tattoo shop an extra three to four hours each night after.

So that's like a 14-hour day. So he was run ragged, but wanting to still make time for his art and start schooling for his career. Wow, this email's long. that's why we didn't read it but wanting to still make time for his art and start schooling for a career change because he was unhappy with the situations all around regarding the weight he started a little friendly competition to lose weight we'd both gained about 30 pounds in the relationship over the three years together and it would be beneficial to both of us and the winner would win an agreed upon cash prize oh for whoever lost the most weight by december 31st 2025 so the

Months pass, and I'm grinding, I'm running, and I got a Pilates membership, and I'm going hard. The weight is flying off, and he's just kind of not participating. But I also don't want to be on him too much because he had burnout from tattooing and his day job as he works at the car shop. At the same time, also statistically speaking, women have a more difficult time losing weight. So maybe I have to go harder for longer because he's going to dust me. So no worries. The holidays come and go. And finally, I win the competition.

I've lost 22 pounds. Slay queen. and he actually put on five pounds yikes uh so he was really salty about me winning and it kind of made me side eye because babes we both had the same amount of time i worked hard for it so he pays me and now he's been on this break from tattooing and only working his day job not only because obviously it was tasking and the world is a lot right now so i get it can be heavy but he'd been done schooling so you get a better job and it's been in limbo too but overall the mess is that I feel like I'm someone who is very hungry for more.

And I think it's because I'm a Latinx, first-generation college graduate, grinded to put myself through school. And I've been independent since I was about 16, 17, worked my way up to get a great finance job. And I am actively getting a second degree. So I've always had this hunger instilled in me. And he's not that way at all.

He's okay with just being baseline, which is fine for him. But is that good enough for me? Am I maybe picking him apart too much? mind you he is wonderful guy otherwise thoughtful kind very patient loving respectful generous family oriented so helpful cleans the house always takes out the trash etc etc should these things be red flags toward his character also i don't want to seem ungrateful at all i'm so lucky to have a straight cis male partner who actually is helpful and in touch with my needs so this could

all be like girl who cares that he doesn't want to work out but it isn't about him being in shape It's my worry that he doesn't want to better himself for himself. He doesn't go to therapy. So maybe he's low key depressed and putting up a front. He won't say he's just he won't say he just says he's going to do better when I bring it up. And he seems just bogged down by me bringing up. So I just stopped. But am I being complicit by now just ignoring it?

I want to be a good partner and support him the way he supports me. Anyways, thank you so much for all the laughs, especially in the state of the world. You guys really brighten up my day. Heart hands. Anyways. Anyway, girl. Ciao. Anyways.

Peace and blessings. Marines, what you think? So the mess is that he don't want to work out? Yes. And that in the time that they both had agreed upon a goal of losing 30 pounds. He gained five. He gained five. And she lost 22.

So she's feeling hotter than ever, I'm assuming. And he is not meeting that standard. So there was nothing that you could do to be like, hey, I'm going for a run. Do you want to come with me? That wasn't an option? But if we're challenging each other, why am I telling you to get up and run? Like, I'm trying to beat you. But if you're trying to get into shape, it's easier to do it if you have somebody that's kind of encouraging you along the way.

Like you and Dwayne did part 75 together. But we weren't challenging each other. We were doing it together. Sure. But like, you can still do stuff together and still do things separately. He wasn't doing nothing. You know what I'm saying? Like she said, she got up a lot. She took the challenge seriously while he he was watching her get up and go. And he was like, hmm, you going for another run? You pick up some milk on the way back. He might be depressed. I think he's probably depressed and it seems like he was doing a lot with the tattooing and it's just I mean he's trying to you know make the money

but then you gotta take time off like mental health is real it just seems like he's dealing with a lot that's why I wouldn't have even agreed to do that challenge I'd be like baby I'm not in the headspace well girl you said you're Latina and he's white so I know you be cooking maybe you need to switch what you cooking up

not you said it's the adobos it's the adobos sister he gotta eat you know brown turkey cook for like what his people like yeah no girl you can't chimichurri the eggs like you gotta calm it down yeah girl you just gotta you gotta give him something a little a little more lean yeah uh uh maybe some turkey put some some turkey yeah like maybe um what is it pernil can you pernil the turkey no pork for him no pork for him whatever you do to the pernil can you do that to a turkey that is a traditional puerto rican thanksgiving turkey

what you do the pernil you do to the turkey and that's thanksgiving i love that so we come to your house we come into your house yeah you can okay put that in your calendar or you could bring some plates plates to the board and then we eat it on camera and be like We do a little, what is it? Taste test, yeah. We do a little mukbang. Yeah, we do a mukbang. You're like, well, the gondolas.

I would have some notes. I would do a mukbang for Thanksgiving. Yeah, that would be fun. Give the people something to be thankful for. Well, sidebar, on TikTok, this girl, she does like a three-part series. She's like, yeah, I just broke up with my boyfriend of five years, and I didn't have like a,

nothing happened, but she was just like, I feel like I want more for myself and she's like I just feel like he's kind of stagnant yeah like I've grown so much yeah and he's kind of the same where I met him and maybe maybe this is like the same because she's like he is a nice guy he does nice things for me I do love him but I want more she's like I'm a I come from a you know an immigrant home I would be doing my family a disservice if I was just with somebody who's not working as hard as me or hard enough 100% so I I I get it I get it it's like so sad to say out loud but you also can't be mad at wanting more no you can't but also eventually no scratch that word as we grow we evolve and sometimes you're

with somebody for a while and it's like you know who you were in your early 20s is not who you are at the end of your 20s who you are in your 30s not who you are in your 40s right so like i have a friend she was dating a guy for a couple years she got a new job like when she first met him he had all these things that he wanted to do and he never really worked at a company meanwhile she you know she getting a new job she got a new place she got a new dish she got a new dad she got a new da-da-da-da-da and he was just like I'm content here

and that's cool for you but like if you're somebody who's ambitious and you want to be with somebody who's also ambitious there's a mismatch there

you're going to start to hate this person that you say is so nice and you care about so much sometimes you just got to let them go hey the stars don't align and it's like

it's a hard thing I mean I think you should give people three chances in terms of three chances yeah because Evolution doesn't happen overnight.

It does take time. It's not baseball. She gave him all the months to lose 30 pounds and he gained five. Overnight, she lost 22 and he saw her drop that way and he picked up five of those pounds. Okay. He said, I'm going to take this. I'm going to take it to us, Marie. How long have you known me?

Like 11 or 10 years. How long did it take me to like really start caring about myself and working on myself and doing the work? I would say that, oh yeah, I'm gonna do it. Yeah, I'm gonna, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like how long? I don't know. I feel like you work on yourself every day. This is not the same. You do work on yourself every day. It took me literally, I don't know, like six years to actually start going to the gym after I was like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Yeah, but it's different for you. You're a different case.

Why? You saying you haven't been to the gym your entire, like, naturally, you look like this. You are somebody who looks like they eat right, they sleep well, they go to the gym. Like, it doesn't show on you that you're not, it doesn't show on you that it took you six years to do that. Bitch, I be falling asleep everywhere.

I'm always cold. There's always, like, some... You iron deficient. Yeah, ailment that's fucked up. Yeah, I don't look like I'm a mess inside, but you there's time there's time and you there were so many times you're like sydney you have got to go to that doctor you've got to take care of yourself you got you got to drink water you need a vegetable you had been saying ever now would you have dated somebody like me fuck no

not for no 10 years yeah but as a friend you're not like well sydney's not growing as a person i'ma be peace out but that's not true sydney you have been growing the whole time okay I'm working on stuff she said her and that man both gained 30 pounds in relationship weight right so she see it she can see that he looks different and he's acting different but I don't know you want me to drop you is that what you're saying no no no no it's your two weeks notice I never said that two years notice I'm just saying like if you really I don't know if this is a person that well she's probably like hey I can't think about the potential if like what he might be It's like what you are right now on paper, you're 30 pounds overweight and it looked like you ain't doing shit.

So now it's 35, 35. Yeah. So no bonus. I mean, it's so, so is it, it's a tinge of, is the fat phobia of it all? Or you think, you think he gained 35 pounds and she's fat phobic now? I think you just like, you just like saying words on this. We gotta call a cop. We also don't know who asked to do the competition. He might have introduced a competition that didn't follow through. Why you didn't send us a photo?

Yeah. We, hey, we need visuals. We gave y'all the visuals. Where are our visuals? We literally need the pictures. Also, shout out to, we've been going to shows. And Messy's are everywhere. Everywhere.

Messy's are everywhere. I went to Manchester, Connecticut. They were there. So cute. So hot. So nice. I know. They got it.

They get it. They do get it. They love us. I don't remember where I was, but somebody was like, I love your stuff. I think I was. You had your show. No, it was like somebody that was working at a place that I was at. I don't remember where I was, but I love it.

It's great. If you see us, say hi. If you see something, say something. Say something to the Mestis. As Ed Mess, you got to talk to us. How do we know you're out there? Until we get merch. All right, we are on YouTube and I need more subscribers.

By then, by this comes out, it better be at 10K. It better be at 30,000. I need a follower for each dollar that lady thought she was going to get out of me. Yeah! Like that. Hello, Ella. This has been an amazing episode. We were supposed to have a guest after that.

she canceled today mess hope you love your girl and so yeah keep sending us beautiful messages

subscribing so we don't have to make Becca read them yeah yeah keep them under 250 characters bitch

I don't know I don't know what I don't know what to do send us a tweet yeah and um yeah we're doing we're doing

all of the mess that we can do for y'all yeah see you when we see you see you next week stop calling the cops on people

I just said that, but I didn't mean it. I'm just saying that to the listeners. Oh, okay. I wouldn't. Don't do that. Call us. Should I put my number in? Yeah.

Whenever you want to call a cop, just call me. Her number is 718. No. Bye. Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. super produced by becca ramos edited and mixed by brian jeffries if you would like your messages

read on air please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588