MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Closure in the Comments

Episode Date: July 9, 2021

We're back with our first solo episode in a minute. Marie talks about closing herself off from fans and Sydnee comes to terms with being too close with just about anyone. We discuss the Molly episode from two episodes back and respond to a listener email. Enjoy!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcast----FOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Okay, so for those of you who are just tuning in at the very beginning of the episode, everyone's wearing orange today except for Andrew, so if you're wearing orange, pat yourself on the back. You made it. You did it, kiddo. So proud of us. Andrew, do you own anything orange? No, I don't own anything orange.

Well, I don't. You know, with your coloring, I don't know what it's going to look like. I don't know what it's going to be. Yeah, I don't know if it meshes well with the colors of your eyes, but, you know. Right, I don't know if it pairs well with your undertones. We have the same color eyes. Who has the same color eyes? Don't we all have, we all have brown eyes.

My eyes are hazel big. Marie does have a different shade of brown than everybody else. I mean, the sun has to be directly in my eye for you to see it, but it's a tiny bit less doodle than doodle, you know? Yeah, it's so true. And I love, like, I don't, sometimes I'm scared because I will look into your eyes when the sun is hitting you and I'm like, am I in love with her?

Oh my God, I was like, am I obsessed? Well, I mean, Sydney, you're dating somebody who does have, like, very obviously lighter eyes. um so yeah you're saying that when you look into my eyes and the sun is shining it feels like home for you yeah yeah i'm not gonna lie marie it's good eyes you have great eyes yeah good eyes um speaking of good eyes uh we were on the phone earlier today talking about fillers um when i think of fillers i think of courtney cox arquette i don't even know if she still go by Arquette but um you know when people get too much fillers their eyes kind of like

recede into their head and the rest of their face gets really puffy um but I don't know we saw somebody today who got fillers done a black woman and she looked good so should I get fillers I don't even think she needed it per se not six hundred dollars worth of fillers but I did it before $600. $600. Oh, wait, no. I was talking about the girl that Carolina sent us, the girl from Instagram.

Oh, I don't know. She looked good at the end. I don't know how much she paid, but it did look really good. It looked amazing. And I really wanted it. I was like, fuck. Because I, when I don't wear makeup, I look fine, but I can visibly see how tired I am.

And if you get fillers, you look more refreshed. so fillers go under the eye like if you have like lines under your eye or you have like hyperpigmentation it like yes it out so it makes it look less dark yes less dark and also you lose elasticity in your skin the older you get so your your your face kind of droops a little bit or you lose a little bit of fullness in your face. So filler, you know, adds. But what is this obsession with having a full face when you're grown?

I want to be gaunt. I want to be like skinny, sunken. I want my cheekbones to look like a Lady Gaga prosthetic. I just want my face to be sharp. I want to look like Cruella de Vil in the cartoon. That's what I want my face to look like when I'm old. Angles. I mean, if you look at us when we're younger, like our baby faces, they are, it's fuller.

It's a sign of youthfulness. Or for some people, it's puffiness. Yes, but I don't want to, when I look at pictures of me from even when we first met a couple years ago, my face was round. It was round. Yes, it was. It was round. Marie, you said a couple years ago, but it was eight years ago, friend. That was a couple years ago, face.

Okay, all right. okay okay wow wow wow i thought you were arguing with me about it being around yes ma'am truly girl whatever uh a couple years for you means what 2019 pretty much yeah a couple that's two a couple is two or three how y'all talk but you know english is not my first language and that's not what that's not a couple oh lord have mercy jesus Christ okay so yeah you want to have a gaunt face I like a gaunt I like a sharp face too but I do hate that like underneath my eyes is like a little sunken in because I did get fillers I got fillers like maybe five years ago and it was a couple years ago yo yeah so it wasn't it

wasn't a good job and I tried to go back and get it fixed and he didn't what's a bad job he hit your eye like what is a bad job when it comes to fillers a bad job is you can see the actual like where they like punctured my skin with the needle you can see where the needle was inserted it was a bad job i can send you pictures we can pose like it sounds like he needs to uh he should use a tinier needle like what does that no he just wasn't good like this is and it was like a hookup from a friend who worked at this the med spa shit you don't go to a med spa just go to

a certified plastic surgeon like a med spa you can get like you know facials and you can get things to like brighten your skin but when you get that needle thing when you when they start doing stuff

with your face I just go to a professional like so a med spa is like a city MD for surgery is that what you're saying pretty much i don't know i think when it comes to surgery you either gotta save up the money to do it the right way with the right doctor or you gotta get somebody else you said you might have to secure a little sugar daddy so they can pay for it but like i don't understand why people be trying to cut corners when it comes to plastic surgery no your your body your face is not like a shirt it

should not be on sale like right y'all don't be watching botched no yeah you i mean the fact that people go to other country well i get why they go to other countries because it they sometimes they do do a better job but i don't know the risks the risk the fact that i don't know their language i don't know what's going on is that why people get surgery done in other countries because i thought they went because it was cheaper in like colombia or dr or mexico or costa rica or whatever no they it's it's a better job in terms of like these are the girls who have the bbls you're like oh my who the fuck is calling me i'm sorry it's not like we don't have this standing appointment every single week i apologize yeah sorry friend um yeah it's just uh like when you

go to columbia you see the bodies you see the girls you go to brazil you see the bodies you're like these are the bodies that people aspire to have and it's because they're getting those things left and right yes but all of the bodies in brazil all of the bodies in central america are not fake and built bodies some of those are their natural that's what i'm saying people want to look like their natural bodies right you got to take that up with the god that you serve babe talk to your mother and your father about why your body is shaped how it's shaped but like somebody's natural body is always gonna look better than your built body somebody who has the body shape that you're going in to get surgery for if they have it naturally it's gonna look better than yours

because it's real right that's what i think you think you think if somebody brings in a photo of a body and they're like this is what i want to look like like let's talk about kim kardashian for example people be bringing her photos into the plastic surgery place like i want to look like kim and then she'd be bringing it she yeah she brings in old pictures of her body and she's like so i want this but like a little bit better it's a mess it's just like either you accept your rough draft you know body or you know you try to get the final draft that you thought you were meant to have no see i'm not shaming anybody who's going in to get plastic surgery or whatever if you know if you're not happy with your rough draft body then go ahead sis upgrade to like a thicker

sheet you know that glossy photo paper if you need to but like just don't be trying to cut corners with it like don't don't go somewhere where the doctor is doing 10 implants in one day he might he might do yours cricket don't get your titties on Groupon period and that is the title that's the title of this yeah don't get your teeth on coupon we'll see what happens um okay um so uh speaking of appearances and stuff we were talking about aunties for me calling me an auntie feels like a slur because i am not an auntie when i went to uh i was at this event a few weeks ago and people that i went to school with were there and they all of them have children and stuff now and they look to me like aunties like they look like what

my aunts and uncles looked like to me when i was a kid like they're shaped like our parents like they just look older and i'm walking around with my you know my my my high school body still so i don't i don't subscribe to this auntie title it it feels um it feels mean when people call me an auntie i mean marie do you think do you think i i feel like my body doesn't give auntie vibes yeah but your energy is auntie sometimes i don't think that your body is auntie at all absolutely i don't feel like i dress like an aunt i i see andrew's face what's your fucking face oh talk to me i'm okay i guess i'm a little confused get in there marie marie you're going to this event and you're saying like the meanest thing

that like anybody could call you is auntie however you're saying that everybody else at the party is that so like that's mean you're saying no i'm not calling them aunties i'm saying they look exactly how like when i was a kid and my aunts and uncles would come to the house think about what they looked like think about what they were wearing think about what their body shape was that's what these people i went to school with look like now i'm not saying that they're aunties i'm saying no i'm saying they are that's what they are that's what andrew andrew was like i'm just trying to clarify this uh i'm just trying to clarify you're saying that this is a mean thing okay but it's but no one because but it's but is anybody saying that to you

um people within the group chat that i'm in be like we're aunties now this is auntie and i'm like but i'm not an auntie yeah i'm i'm an auntie in real life and i'm like i'm not an aunt oh wow Sidney's an auntie in real life Sidney you are an auntie babe I've been an aunt since like I don't know I was a kid my niece

my niece is 30 now I think she's 30 or 29 Sidney you were an aunt when you were 6 pretty much yeah I see her laughing it's not funny i mean it is funny but your siblings are like 20 years older than you yeah yeah it it makes sense it makes sense i don't know it's wild it is just i'm not an auntie

because i don't dress like an auntie and i don't i'm not shaped like an auntie that's why i'm not also i don't have any nieces or nephews i'm an aunt in real life but i'm just saying i think when i'm in my home you know i'm gonna wear my bonnet i'm gonna like i oh i'm hot i'm cold oh i need a blankie like yes big peak auntie that's actually that's grandmother behavior right there i need a blanket for my legs like i need to have the ac on and the heater and then wrapped up in a blanket i like i mean the way i look at things on a computer i'm just like squinting not the squint the squint i do the squint are you doing the squint and then you pull the thing away so you could read it better oh no no i don't do that i not yet that is that's full-blown

not that's my dad I mean I don't know we just don't want to fucking grow up we don't want to grow up when we were kids we're like I can't wait to grow up and then it's like you don't want to grow up you don't want to age you don't want people to associate you with you know olderness but it's not that I don't want to grow up I mean being an adult is definitely ghetto two stars would not recommend but i just don't feel grown up you know and then every once in a while i'll be doing something in my house and it'll hit me that i am an adult and i'll be like yeah damn like i didn't know um but i don't know when i talk about gen z now i'll be like well what the kids talking about so i do call them the kids so the youth the youth the youths what's the youths doing

yeah it's like it's like i at the end of the day we're all gonna hit 40 one day like if if we're lucky if we're lucky if we're you know if god willing you know we're gonna hit it and it's like do i want to be 40 talking about you know i'm actually 29 like no but i also when i hit 40 that's a milestone that like I think when you hit 40 that's when you your don't give a damn hits like turbo because at 40

years old you just want to sit down and you want to I don't know stand up and your back don't crack I don't know what 40 wants but I feel like when you're the older you get the less you care so people in their 50s are still lying about how old they are

I mean truly I want to get to that point of not caring because I I care too much like my brain is plagued with other people's thoughts or my thoughts of what other people think of me and it's sickening and I am closer to 40 than everybody on this call so it's just I'm like when do I get to the I don't give a fuck stage what Sydney you so wait hold on take a step back you're saying that you care what people think about you you you so what that affects how you live your life sometimes sometimes it does affect i mean i don't know since you're pretty open and you'll be sharing your business with people it don't

seem like you care what people think about what you who you are and what you're you've dealt with andrew i disagree i think that sydney you're very um protective of your your of yourself and when someone does have something negative to say such as like a negative review there is a reaction yeah so no i'm not saying i agree with what you just said when someone has something to say there's a reaction but i'm saying sydney lives her life essentially like an open book she's she's open about her sobriety journey she's open about her mental health journey she's very open and i think that is something that people that is that draws people to sydney that she is open and she you know it seems like you don't care about how people perceive you in those

situations because you're like this is what it is yeah but right let's get into it right so like i obviously marie had a sit down with me um an intervention i am obviously too friendly and i i make i make friends with people what what marie go ahead go ahead sydney and and she was like sydney you have to stop like you just i'm i i don't know if i can deal with this anymore because you it's the ASPCA you got strays everywhere and I like I do care about what you think like and like other close friends think of me but also I know what it is to feel like shunned or like not cool or people don't want to be friendly with me and so I I I just like I like having interactions with people and people feeling like oh we're we're cool they feel safe they

oh you want you want people to feel like they're friends with you yes without necessarily having to be friends with me but you will give your phone number to a stray dog okay sydney we actually do need to talk about this your phone number is on your instagram account your phone number is on your instagram account i don't see it i don't it is in your instagram account someone messaged me like two weeks ago and was like in the same vein of what we're talking about yeah there is a button call sydney washington and it is your phone number well let me like uh okay so let me how do i get that out honestly it don't matter because sydney is giving her phone number to people who come to comedy shows sydney's giving her phone number to people who are like oh i love uh you know you on

instagram or i love your podcast sydney is giving her number to people she does not know who know more about her than she knows about them and so they already have the number so it i think it does speak very highly of you that you're very approachable and you're very nice and friendly but i think that we need to i took it off take that out okay great it's off thanks that's like somebody going up to Beyonce and I am definitely comparing myself to Beyonce in this situation somebody coming up to Beyonce and saying um oh Beyonce I love you so much I would love to cook for you in my house or and then Beyonce shows up or oh girl like um I'm a big fan and Beyonce's like okay well call me sometime we had a nice little conversation tonight like that's not how

it works especially somebody in our professions the more we do the more visible we are and now everybody has access to you you gonna let these stranger dangers into your house no no i'm i i have to work on it and i have i've heard you sis you you have been heard and i mean i really wish that you would be specific about this example which is why i told you that you needed to stop with this um but i don't know if you you want to get into that no it's just it's just me at shows it's it's me at shows it's me it's me everywhere i i have to i have to i just don't think anything of my phone number and i'm like oh yeah sure like but um it makes i don't know sis we were out and somebody one of these people um may or may not have uh offered ketamine to people that we know

and it was like who is this person and everybody was like oh that that's sydney's friend no and on paper that's sydney's friend but you don't know anything about that person but they're they're in your space they're they're they're taking up space with people that you do know and that's what you want to be affiliated with uh it you're right you're I I have to work on it it's it's hard I I like I think in the back of my head I see myself in these other people like I just I just was not cool for not saying that these people aren't cool but I wanted to be I wanted to be accepted I wanted people to be nice to me I wanted like and that I just didn't get that for so long until I don't know one day it clicked and people were like oh my god Sydney's

Sydney's cool Sydney's hot Sydney's funny and then you know I was just able to make friends anywhere and everywhere I went but in the back of my head I felt like I was always trying to like have these people accept me like prove myself you know okay so two things here one i also was not cool not running around doing what you're doing i'm not doing anything remotely close to what you're doing um a lot of the people a lot of us went to school and were not cool a lot of us grew up and became who we are and became you know this adult grown-up version of ourselves that like you know we we have taste based on what we want and what we like not based on what people are gonna other people are gonna have on or other people are gonna yeah like yeah so that that I

wasn't cool thing I heard it I've heard I've heard it all before uh it don't matter um but then you said you want to be nice you can still be nice to somebody and be smart about it like you can be nice and not give somebody your phone number you can be nice and not be like yeah come we getting dinner come with us to get food like you can be nice and still keep your distance yeah be nice keep your distance be nice and back up like yeah okay nice to meet you like be nice and back up i like that too that's a good title okay yeah andrew what do you think about wasn't cool and being nice okay so i think two things i think that you know sydney first and foremost i think this is your toxic trait to have i think this is a perfectly okay justifiable toxic trait people have much

worse toxic traits than being too friendly yes it is a toxic trait of mine but i think it's like at the end of the day like being too nice that's okay however i think marie what you're saying about like okay we exist and like if we were that i'm saying we both weren't cool but we're not approaching we're not yeah out in public the same way socially right but i think that like sydney's allowed to approach her adult self differently now that she's responding to the situations andrew she picking up strays i'm telling you is they missing ears the tail is clipped sydney is picking up people and i'm like sydney we live in a very um crazy time and people are you don't ever know who you're talking to when you're talking to them and i've seen

the bodyguard and i've watched too much law and order svu i've watched too much lifetime to just welcome any and everybody into my space specifically i'm talking to people who are listening right now people be like oh i love you on instagram i love you on this i saw you here i mean i was on an app today this guy was like is the knitting factory coming back y'all are freaking hilarious people recognize me or people think they know me and that for me gives me pause anybody who feels like they know me i already don't really like you because i don't know anything about you right so for me it's like a safety thing you you're a if you're calling yourself a fan of mine then I don't really want to be friends with you like we can you can come support

and I'll chit chat we could take pictures but like we're not gonna hang out after I think I don't live my life in fear because I don't I don't I used to go I've I've I've been roofied before I used to go to the clubs by myself I've you know I've taken drugs from strangers I've done so much that like I just don't live my life like somebody is out to hurt me and kill me and doesn't have my best interest like obviously that all those things are true but I also look at myself and say hey I can feel vibes when I feel like unsafe and I go off of that but Sydney when's the last time you felt unsafe because when I see you you you sitting on strangers laps no I'm not recently but you're lying I just feel like you get real comfortable real quick you taking your

shoes off at somebody's house you fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the party like that's what i you real comfortable so in that sense i think he is lying i'm lying when's the last time you you you shouldn't take your shoes off at somebody's house you should be it should be a shoes off situation you should never have sydney we've been in plenty of dirt plenty of a dirty white person place for you to have been having your shoes on and they kicked off on the next to the west elm couch so okay sydney i will say this then yeah if you don't live your life in fear you are definitely braver than me a hundred percent braver than me because i am terrified

every time i go outside i'm like oh somebody might might could do something to me um so yeah sydney yeah i love that you're brave but i get i get recognized people come up to me and they like i it's the people who don't come up to me those are the people that i'm scared of those are the people that i think are plotting the people who are like hey what's going like i think that they're just like fans hey oh my god i love your work you know like what wait what andrew wait what what wait you're saying you're scared of the people that don't come up to you yes so like that so you're passing people on the street like are you afraid of just them or who are you saying here that aren't aren't approaching you um like sometimes i could just be like walking late

at night and somebody cindy when are you walking wait one so you would when are you late at night you walk into an uber from across the street girl bye next question next caller wait no no and also you would rather that person in the middle of the night approach you and be like hey love the pod or what would you you would feel safer in that situation guys i mean the people who are listening i love how you know overzealous you are about the pod and knowing us and coming to the shows i love that i we need that we need i want people to ride for us i want to have a hive i i think i i don't want to ever make people feel weird about being obsessed with us we're fucking dope we put out great content and we are not making people feel bad hold on

hold on I put no I overzealous hold on going to Webster's I just need to look up the word overzealous because I feel like that's not what I want okay I want people to come to the shows you see us come say hi I'm I love that I love that I agree with Sydney on that but you're not hanging out with me after the show that's the difference yeah sydney wants to hang out with these people and it's very eminem stand moment it's very dear slim i meant to you know i called you you i just drank a bit that's what that's what i feel so you saying i want y'all to be excited about us i love that you come talk to us on the street yes be excited but don't follow me to where i'm going this is that this is where this is where the tour roads diverge sis and i

i was walking down the street once and it was nighttime and uh this guy was on the street and when i passed him he spoke to me and i was like ew and like he was like he's like oh how you doing tonight and i was like i'm fine and i like sped up a little bit and then he mentioned something about my beef with azalea banks and i was like oh a friend and then i slowed down but also i slowed down because he was gay like i don't need no straight men talking to me at nighttime yeah whether you know me or not um but uh then he was gay so gay for me is safe but i'm still not giving you my phone number i i understand what y'all saying i get it i i heard it y'all y'all are making a lot of sense

but i'm also like i i enjoy the fandom and it's it's like oh sometimes we don't know who we're reaching and everybody who comes up to us are hot and so sweet yeah everybody's a little off yeah we're all off okay if first of all if you're starting a podcast you're strange and if you're listening to a podcast you're so strange yeah so we're both in the same motherfucking boat all right period period we went to san francis we went to san francisco and the people were waiting outside in the cold for an hour for us sydney that's because we're good at what we do period right on the other side of that sentence all those people that came to see us in san francisco i was not texting them later like thanks for coming out let me know where i should get something to eat

tomorrow like it was just like you you you see us for a moment we have a good night we share a nice night together and then everyone goes about their their day you collecting you just collecting friends like pokemon and and i'm saying friends but these people aren't you're not friends with these people yeah you're not friends with them sydney you have more more actual friends than anybody that i know and you talk to those people all day long so these other people's numbers that you're collecting you just taking them just to take up space on your iphone sis your icloud gotta be full by now yeah you paying for extra iCloud storage I am but yeah no you're right for people that you don't know girl I'm yeah I'm I definitely got some things to work through

you're not wrong but I think that you both can learn something from each other I think that come on Andrew you better mediate sydney might be too receptive and then you marie i think you're not receptive enough potentially i i don't think that though when people approach me on the street or people approach me after a show i always engage with them we have a conversation now if they get too comfortable and they start to maybe like like i had somebody come up to me the other day and was like don't act like i don't know you marie and i had to tell her you don't you don't know me and like her face was like she was taking it back a little bit but you listen to me for an hour a

week maybe an hour and 25 if we feeling funny but you don't know me you you know my viewpoint on certain things you see me do stand up a couple of times but like that doesn't mean that we're friends it doesn't mean that like we've ever interacted before this moment you know so I think boundaries are important boundaries are important and I think that ultimately anybody who's ever met me from this podcast or from my YouTube or from Instagram if they told me that they recognized me from any of those places I was nice to them no they didn't talk to me before that I might have been mean but that's because my mother told me not to talk strangers right that's valid there's nothing wrong with that i mean you know i i i we did

we did our this the solo show last friday and you know i was very emotional and um you know i'm i'm working on myself and working on my like childhood uh stories and i i feel like people know me a little bit better after watching it and I will be a little bit friendlier after that show because that's such a like vulnerable show I might

pass my number out I don't know I'm just Andrew yeah don't pass your number out I mean like now it's not even on the Instagram anymore but yeah I should have been getting more calls I should have been getting more calls my phone don't be blowing up oh my god

Sydney, yes, your phone is always blowing up. It literally rings at least twice when we do this podcast every week. And then Carolina will come down on break and be like, what's happening? So your phone is always ringing. Right. Update. I just want to let you all know about our good, good gal, Molly. I did hire her as an assistant.

and i used her for my solo show and she got me a videographer and she was there early and she helped me put up things for the back of the stage she got me water she got me red bull she did the slideshow she did she was a good assistant uh-uh no don't do that i did the slideshow you did the slideshow but she like helped me oh she clicked yeah okay okay oh wow I was like, uh-uh. Come on, Andrew. Andrew said you're not about to take credit for my work. No, no, no, no.

Just throwing in like as if I would like not catch it. No, no. Yeah, he said, uh-uh, uh-uh. No, I wasn't saying it like that, Andrew. I was saying on it. Okay. Whoa. Okay.

Good to know. Okay. So give us the rest of the Molly update. Give us a performance review for her, sis. I think she wants to learn. She wants to. I spoke to her. I told her.

I said, hey, you were doing too much on the pod. I know you're trying to be funny, but we don't know you like that. The audience don't know you. I said it wasn't funny. Okay. Well, Marie, whatevs. She said she was trying to be funny on the podcast. I said it wasn't funny.

The people were not laughing. They were not entertained. They were not entertained. And it was a small pill to swallow, but it was a learning experience, and everybody deserves to learn and maybe, you know, get another chance. And I'm happy with the work that she's currently doing. So are you paying her?

Is there a stipend? Yes, I paid her. I paid her for her work. You know, we're going to be doing an hourly thing. She's actually going away. She won't be here for until September. Oh, wow. My starting a job is going to be gone for two months.

Very, very, very black of her. I love that. She's a part of the fam now. It's giving niggardly. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. So she's going to be doing what you said.

What's this hour thing that you're doing? So whenever I have, whenever I say yes to shows or whatever, I'm just going to be forwarding her things and she's going to send me Google invites so it's in my calendar because I just won't put it in my calendar. If people need me to send in stuff, I'm going to be like, here's her email. she knows my schedule she'll tell you what i'm available for oh wow okay sydney this is very

exciting yeah i'm a tiny bit jealous now i really want an assistant even more but i don't want that one okay oh yeah i don't want i would love i would love a straight white man assistant um so if you're listening to this please uh please go ahead and phone call sydney the number that you see on her Instagram and she'll get you in touch with me. LOL. Yeah. Oh my God.

That's good. She was very helpful. Andrew helps whenever he can. And, you know, I always am thankful for the assistance that I can get whenever I can. I have no problem asking for help.

I think it is foolish and silly to think that you could do everything by yourself. it's no there's no need there's people to help I don't I can't I really can't in my part of my life in my career I can't be overwhelmed the way that I get overwhelmed I can't do it anymore it just it's debilitating debilitating oh man everybody's calling today everybody's calling today sorry I apologize is that one of your fans no it's my girlfriend it's my girlfriend she calls it's you know it makes sense i mean your girlfriend

listens to the podcast yeah and she doesn't know that you record the podcast on wednesdays uh no no i like you know i should tell her that and be like maybe have your assistant message your girlfriend let her know that you're unavailable wednesdays at noon okay yeah and so Again, I just want to say, you know, shout out to Molly for coming through and doing what she needed to do. And she read all of y'all comments and, you know, stay tuned because everybody deserves, you know, some compliments, some nice words said their way. You said stay tuned like you got to bring Molly back for a part two. No, no, no. Should we have a part two?

Look at me and Andrew's faces. yeah we don't need your assistant to come back on the podcast to prove that she's a good assistant you can just give us weekly updates and honestly sydney every time you facetime me and it's your face and you're alive i'm like oh molly's doing a great job okay yeah she's doing fantastic you know also i want to speak to the people who are leaving their comments you know the internet is mean the internet is me the people just will write anything like a human being is not reading what you're saying what did they say that was so bad some of this stuff was just like it was rude it was downright rude and if i'm 21 reading comments from the internet it's

mean you could you could say that you don't trust somebody without like break bringing them down all the way like no i i will i will say this i was thinking about that too i was like some of these comments are like as a 21 year old i would be hurt by this it was mean really affect my day however however the fact that she was bold and brash enough to do this podcast she understood the ramifications of coming onto this podcast yep and so i think that you know that's just like the way it goes i think that you have nobody to blame but yourself if people are if you if you're increasing your own visibility in that way we didn't we didn't we didn't force her to do the podcast we didn't tell her to put herself out there as somebody who claims to listen to the unofficial

expert which people were questioning in the comments rightfully so um as somebody who claims to listen to the podcast you should you already see what type of commentary the people are giving on a regular basis so i don't know that was i i need y'all to have that same energy when we post episodes period the way y'all came out of left field i didn't even know we could get to that many comments on the fucking post no straight up and down don't do that straight up and down no no no no no no said don't act like you did not just say you love an overzealous fan i love an over they do that in person but they don't they don't be giving this energy on the socials i'll tell you that much if everybody who wrote a comment about molly actually reposted the

pod and told people about us I think we would be doing we have a lot more ratings honey just saying just putting it out there I hear what you're saying but I think you mad at the wrong people sis I'm not mad at the wrong people I'm just I'm making a valid point it's like when it's time to be negative everybody would reel in but when it's time to there's so many good episodes that we have that we have never had this many interactions with ever so i i'm i'm i'm not wrong for putting out a valid point andrew i think the the listeners were also concerned for your well-being as well i think that that was coming across that there were that they were coming out of the woodwork people were seeing red flags and they commented on the red flags yeah every comment was not a negative comment

yes it was like 130 comments or whatever the hell it is but the vast majority of those comments were not mean they're not mean-spirited they weren't nasty no one was calling her a bitch nobody was like this dumb ass ugly ass young ass beach people were just like you know she didn't know about cemetery aki that was a whole thread about cemetery aki in the on the post they're like interacting with each other so i i don't know i don't i don't like how you talking to our support our overzealous supporters definitely don't like how you're talking to your friends about your friends on the podcast so you're only agreeing with him because that's how you felt if they were saying otherwise you would be like it's not it's not I'm not saying if you go back and look

at the comments that I've liked I liked good and bad I liked ones that were like yeah give Molly the job it's gonna shake things up in there those were there were plenty of comments like that and then there are other people who are like it's giving it's giving ticky ticky boom um i liked some of those as well um but i'm just saying that you're you're you're telling people that they were being mean and the internet is blah blah blah the internet is can definitely be a mean place people feel very bold behind a computer or a phone screen um and they'll say things that they wouldn't say in real life but also molly put herself out there she jumped on this platform she knew what it was she thought she was going to be funnier she thought she was going to be

more relatable i guess i don't know but that's not what came across and people called her on it and also take that to the bank molly that you have a lot of people talking about your hour as well you know take it to the bank like yeah well we're talking about her right now she used to be one of y'all okay yeah she fully did and it doesn't matter if they had positive or negative reviews let me tell you that what they all agreed on is andrew needed a raise like everybody loved andrew there were there were a few mean comments toward me scattered throughout but really there were a few that there were that it seemed like i was being um protective of my position with you both well sir you're the producer so i mean molly wasn't gonna take your job so right i'm

just saying i'm just saying not not a blanket term not all the comments were were fully for me but i do appreciate what i'm saying all the comments were not anything yeah all of the time it was it wasn't all one thing or all another thing they were kind of all over the place but the general consensus was yeah let sydney work with her first and if she's still alive in three months then y'all could bring her on as deep and i said i liked those i thumbs up to those i said i pinned those hilarity um wait do we have any um we have some emails i know but i didn't read them before i don't i don't like to read them without reading them first damn do you not want them then huh well i mean you sent us some the other day that we uh we didn't get to but let me look right

this one's really long yeah if it's too long yes how many words is it the one about ghosting okay i'll just read it i'll read it real quick oh no it's so long oh wow oh okay but she included a bunch of photos okay wow okay here so I'll read the ghosting one ready okay um

yeah yeah hey Sydney Marie and Andrew boop boop boop Molly in parentheses no she's not here long time listener here looking for some insight advice on a perfect date that somehow went wrong please include music from

snapped in the background okay like you know or twilight zone music right before i jump in here's a little info on me i'm a 24 year old bisexual woman living in toronto and have written into the show before oh regarding having my first one night stand in january and being choked in a white man's basement sydney this is the one that we were talking about in san francisco oh my gosh let's go a repeat a repeat yeah i don't know what episode you guys got to go back to to hear her story but that's a repeat it was on a patreon too the one we did a video i love okay so gorgeous great to see you again babe how you doing girl

yes i'm still out here making questionable decisions ever since that first one night stand i entered a little bit of a hoe phase and would do my thing go on dates or sleep with them etc and with someone and probably ghost them afterwards i'm not proud of it but like sometimes the dick was trash and i really didn't want to associate it with them no more we love her yara we love it okay fast forward to a few weeks ago i haven't been on a date or even seen anyone in a while shout out to covid until i met this girl okay lean in lean in i'm late we started talking for a little bit and found out we had a lot in common and the chemistry was instantly great we met up and even went on a low-key picnic in the park and really enjoyed ourselves

make it out okay after that date we talked every day until we made plans to meet up a week later this time we went to a busy part of the city got drinks food spent our day together she even surprised me buying me a plant as a gift oh that's something that i would do yes keep going oh that is something you would do absolutely um we were very flirty and very close it was clear she was into me and i was making it clear that i was into her too okay the titties was out uh then she didn't say that things got weird when the date was winding down nothing changed between us we're still cracking jokes and being cute and shit until suddenly it stopped she got really quiet and a bit distance but i chalked it up to being out in the sun too

long and smoking a little weed and didn't think too much of it she walks me home i invite her up to my apartment i thought it was my chance to finally pull a move but instead this girl spends the whole time with my cat my actual cat not my person and when she ends up leaving to go back home she literally gave me the cold shoulder i'm talking about the one-armed hug situation oh come on marie the barely making eye contact kind of goodbye the little awkward wave and head nod as she walks away without looking back you gotta do the look back just to see if they looking at you you know whoa that was the last time i heard from her it's been a week since and we haven't talked once i'm genuine genuinely at a loss because i'm not sure what went wrong

i went over the whole day in my head and thought maybe i said something or i did something weird or offensive but i couldn't think of anything we really hit it off and had a good time smiles and good vibes as an expert in ghosting i know sometimes you just don't feel it anymore but and cut contact for whatever reason but i honestly thought we were vibing and meshing really well i've never been ghosted before everybody at the same time so maybe this is karma finally catching up to me is this a sign for me to stop ghosting what advice can you give me i'm pretty bummed things didn't work out but more so curious as to what reason she would have it really seemed like it was going well as usual here's some pics

of me so you can get a full visual let me see oh she's cute her hair looks like oh my god oh she's hot i like here she is with some pasta okay now a question y'all are hanging out or whatever is she paying the whole time are y'all going dutch like because that that could like we hanging out too many times and i'm putting my car down i could feel some type of way i'd be like i don't know she said she bought her a plant as a gift they were very flirty things got weird when the date was winding down nothing changed we were still cracking jokes and then it just she suddenly just got quiet did she get a text from an ex no i'm thinking she must have got a message or something that made her that put her in her own head or something right right maybe but still like

i don't know i if we just started talking and having a i'd be like can you believe this nigga just texted me like i would have casually mentioned it i like we're not we're not serious like we're just we've been hanging out it's not if there's no reason to not be honest when there's nothing really at stake y'all are just the beginning okay so i i understand what you're saying but maybe this is maybe if somebody she'd been with for a while maybe it was a person that she just broke up with if that person messages you I'm I don't know if I'm necessarily on a date gonna say can you believe this man just texted me because then I'm talking about yeah then I'm talking about my old relationship on a first second third date like yeah there's a time and

place I think to talk about people you used to talk to based on how you feel about them too i don't know i don't know i don't know but i just listen guys y'all have got to fucking grow up if like just if you don't want to deal with somebody anymore just give them the goodbye like hey i thought i wanted like to date you or i i was looking forward to blah blah but my mind changed i i'm i'm not in a place to just give somebody uh an ending so they don't have to fucking go in their head over and over and over and try to figure out what the fuck happened right just say hey i i like i'm good i i i'm sorry things didn't work out and send them on their way it's actually especially if it's the if a person if the person was nice nice yeah it's a nice

person there's no reason to ghost them like it's for me honestly truly it's easy to just tell them the truth yeah it's easier to be like hey you know uh maybe maybe the reason is hey i i think i jumped into this too soon i'm not ready or hit him with the yeah you know i'm not really feeling it the vibes weren't there for me yeah things that i've said to two different men so yeah i'm not really feeling the vibes or you know just um yeah i thought that i was ready for this but i guess i'm not or you know i'll be in touch and then actually be in touch it's just like we went through a whole fucking pandemic like the worst of the worst has happened the least you can do is give somebody a closing like hey i i'm not i'm not really feeling this it you think it hurts

to tell somebody i'm not into you but it actually hurts more when you give them no answer at all because they're just going to be thinking about like what did they do wrong i think though that yara something that you could have done differently and should do differently next time is ask what's wrong yeah like if it if it goes from hot to cold oh they'll be like is everything good and i'm inviting you to the house and you playing with my cat but not my cat yeah i'm gonna be like hey are you okay and then see how they respond because something definitely happened yeah something definitely went down something something went down she I don't know y'all you gotta let us know was she paying was she paying what were you wearing did you call somebody did was a slur

used like what happened in Toronto that day something happened something definitely happened did she sneeze and you didn't say bless you like girl what happened but if you're not feeling it and then I still come up to your place I mean what could have been happened what possibly has happening with me is like i just want to see your place like i want to check it okay cool all right yeah but i'm inviting you to my house if you're a man if if we're on a date and i'm inviting you to my house then you know what it is you and you know what it ain't granted when we get to my house i can change my mind maybe you take your shoes off and i'm like ew the sock that's the socks yeah them the socks or i don't know maybe i i'm in my house and the vibes are off i'm gonna ask

you to leave but why are you coming up to my house if you don't if you don't want to even acknowledge me in my home yeah that's the weird thing that's that's the thing that i'm like you don't have to come up to somebody's house and fuck but you definitely can't come up to somebody's house and be acting all like distant giving me church lady hug yeah that's weird that's disrespectful and you could take your ass home you can always take your ass home you don't have to do anything you could if you're in a bad mood or the vibes are you can go home sweetie go home sweetie i like that um title as well go home sweetie go home sweetie i mean she walked her home she bought her a plant that feels like a good date to me i mean yeah up until it got weird

it's also been like a full month since uh this email from yara so i'm wondering if there's been any updates yeah yara if you're listening please please but also she didn't mention i think this might go without saying but this like barely making eye contact goodbye that they had she said that that was the last she heard from her and it's been a week and they haven't talked once but yara didn't mention if she's tried reaching out yeah did she ever say that no i don't like it in here um y'all babe sweetie follow up please give us the please give us a follow-up on this because i think that sometimes for our peace of mind yeah it's easier to just ask hey is everything okay like i thought things were cool what happened and then give them a

chance to see if they're either gonna be honest with you or they're gonna lie but sometimes you sometimes you just don't get closure from these things you're not guaranteed closure with every single person that you do it no no you don't have to get closure but if you're listening to this podcast you're not always going to get closure but I think it's it's okay to give someone closure don't feel like oh I don't have to do anything like I sometimes I want to end things so that you we don't have to discuss this no more so there's no back and forth right if you if you let somebody know oh fiend this is the end then if they hit you back up that's on them you know it's a power move to be honest it's a power move to end things and be like i'm

i'm all set on this but it's also a power thing when you don't give someone uh um a reason and you have them guessing that's a power thing but i think that's a toxic it's also a cowardly thing too though yep it's easy to just say hey I don't really like you like that or yeah you know what when you smiled at me the sun bounced off your tooth and hit me in the eye and I didn't like that like give me a reason yeah or just like like to be a woman ghosting another woman feels like a little bit of a hate crime it is a hate crime like sis most homophobic I gave you a tampon that one time like what are you girl you have my hair tie in your hair right now and then you're gonna ghost me beach I gave you a scrunchie when you needed it the most and you're not gonna tell me what

happened yeah yeah I mean just save that for the men but even then like it's easier to just be honest just in all aspects of life I think it's just easier to tell the truth than it is to lie or omit things because sometimes you'll be forgetting your lies or sometimes you sit there and you're like, well, why did I? What happened with that person? Damn, and if you want us to do the leg work, just send us her email. You got her number? I'll text her.

I'll call her. Back to square one. I'll call her. And we start back at one. Get one. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have any problem with checking in and being

like, yo, what's really good? Nah, I mean. You go sit. You ghosted my good sis a month ago. What happened? Right, right. Get Molly. What had happened was. Yeah, message molly at assistant, molly at assistant.com.

Yeah, imagine if she emails. That would be funny, though. That would be funny. I feel like I used to ghost people, but I don't do that anymore. What was your reasoning? I didn't really like them to begin with. Okay. That's real.

or you know sometimes they like sometimes they'll say the wrong thing but like also when i say used to ghost i don't do that anymore like yeah it's just easier especially if a dude is persistent and like you know we've spent more than just one time together then it's it's just easier to to tell a nice person hey i'm not really feeling this yeah you know the person's not mean They didn't do anything bad to you. Like, tell them the truth. It's annoying to be shut down. But, like, y'all got to also be able to take these L's, too.

Like, if somebody's like, I'm not into you, like, okay, just take it. Like, don't fight it. Because that also is what makes people not want to be honest. They think it's going to be messy. Because you're like, oh, well, what can I do? You know, I just, no. if they don't like you it's okay yeah well what can I do you gotta change your face face yeah I hate the shoes you wear sweetie uh yeah your posture is terrible terrible it's giving

pterodactyl beak it's not straight um yeah I don't know I think it's just easier for me as a grown-up now because what happens when you guys are out that house now the outside is open you out and you bump into this person in in the wild yeah now now it's awkward because your ass couldn't couldn't say what you needed to say to me yeah and and i'm gonna roll up on you if i got enough uh tequila in my system hey well that's how i remember i'm gonna fight well not me if i see somebody if somebody shows me that they're not interested in me then i obviously that person is dead to me may they rest in peace um if i see you out in public i'm gonna be looking good my friends will be looking good always always without a doubt without

a doubt all the more reason to not go outside in a bonnet because you all gotta be looking amazing just in case somebody who ghosted you is there that's one thing that we gonna do we gonna we gonna pull up and it's gonna look good right good we're gonna be late but we gonna look good oh yeah that's the great thing i'm probably could have been in the same room with somebody i used to have sex with but i came so late that they left already i missed the window to see them exactly and you know what who was that god god that's gold universe yeah um well i think we did what we needed to do we did oh my god so proud of us We haven't had a solo in a minute, so that was cute.

Thank you, friends. I know. And I was ready for a solo last week, and then it was like. I was as well. I was as well. Surprise. Surprise. So, you know, after hearing everything that we say, you know, just comment more, bitch.

Comment more if you like. There was no drama here, so you know what I mean? If you have anything to say. 140. A hundred and. I want to see a hundred comments under this post. Yeah. When we post it.

Not asking. Not asking. for too much y'all just 140 comments talk amongst yourselves por favor but also we want to hear about your last your last ghosting experience have you been ghosted have you ghosted somebody yeah tell us why and give us a little synopsis yeah I want to know when's your last ghost and why and then hopefully the person who you ghosted is also listening to the pod and they can see in a thread if it's the reason why we can all get some closure in the comments closure in the comments look at that in the comments closure in the comments i like that that works man if you're

casper then you know tell us why you be disappearing babe you want to run you want to lay them you want to run um okay gorgeous rate comment subscribe and uh delete sydney's phone number if you have it If you have Sydney's phone number Text her right now No shut up Text it right now I love you guys Forever

Dog This has been a Forever Dog production The unofficial expert Is executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio And Alex Ramsey Senior producer Tracy Soren Produced by Andrew McGuire

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